‘There’s nobody waiting for you back there? No family?’
He smiled slightly, just a small smile, which I wasn’t entirely sure reached his eyes. ‘My family aren’t all that accepting of my lifestyle. We’ve never really been that close.’
‘And what is your lifestyle, exactly?’
His smile grew a little wider, his eyes suddenly lighting up, which only served to make my heart beat that little bit faster. ‘I’m a free spirit, Lana. The bike shop, and my stake in the garage my MC owns earns me enough to get by on. I live pretty simply. My home’s quite basic, you’ve seen that… When I’m not working I ride, because when I’m out here, on the open road, it’s the only time I think clearly. It really is the best kind of therapy.’ His eyes were staring into mine with that strange, yet beautiful, intensity again, something that caused a ripple of excitement to bubble up inside of me. ‘I’m an old-school biker, darlin’. I wear my colours with pride and loyalty is everything. But freedom – that’s the most important thing in the world for me.’
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his. This tall, handsome man with the tattoos and the beard and a voice so low and sexy – he really was everything I’d ever dreamt of. I just hadn’t realised it, until now. And everything he’d just said there, it was everything I’d wanted to hear.
‘What about you?’ he asked, his thumb still stroking my cheek, his hand warm yet rough against my skin. I didn’t want him to take it away. I liked it, I liked him touching me.
‘What about me?’ But even after all of that I was still reluctant to open up to him. Maybe because opening up, talking about the past brought it all back to the forefront. And I didn’t want to look back. I wanted to move forward.
‘Last night, in the elevator – you told me you were divorced.’
I looked down, finally breaking that stare, because looking him in the eye and talking about Adam – that didn’t feel right. ‘I am. It’s just not something I really want to get into.’
‘Things didn’t work out, huh?’
I raised my gaze, my eyes meeting his again. ‘Yeah. Something like that. We were together a long time and… We grew apart, that’s all. It happens.’
‘Yeah,’ he sighed, finally pulling his hand away from my face. ‘A lot of shit happens.’
I frowned slightly as I watched his expression change, the look in his eyes something I couldn’t read. Sadness? I didn’t have time to really let it register as his face broke back into a slow smile. But what he’d said there…
‘You still think about him?’ Eddie asked, a question that surprised me, because it wasn’t something I’d expected him to ask.
‘Sometimes.’ I was being honest now.Because I did still think about Adam. He’d been a huge part of my life – he’d been my life. So of course I still thought about him. ‘I was with him for almost twenty years. And you can’t just forget all of that as though it never happened.’
‘No.’ Eddie’s expression changed again, the smile once more disappearing from his face, his eyes clouding over. ‘No, you can’t.’ But then, as quickly as if someone had just flicked a switch, the smile was back. The sadness in his eyes gone. ‘You said you worked in a tattoo studio…’ It was as if he’d sensed a change of subject was needed. He wasn’t wrong.
‘Yeah. Finn’s – my brother’s – tattoo studio. One of those major life changes, you know? I used to work in the theatre, now I’m training to become a tattoo artist.’
‘You’ve got some beautiful ink there yourself. Your brother do that?’
I nodded. ‘They’re all part of the new me.’
‘And what about the old one?’
My gaze dropped once more, focusing on my biker boots, the road, anything but him. ‘I’m moving on, Eddie.’
I felt him take my hand and I looked up at him, the feeling of his fingers sliding between mine was comforting. ‘Hey, I’m all about the here and now, baby. The past, it should stay where it belongs. You let it back in, it’s only gonna drag you down, believe me.’
‘How can you be so perfect?’ I smiled, my fingers lightly touching his slightly open mouth.
He laughed, that low-down dirty laugh that made my thighs ache for him. ‘I’m anything but perfect, darlin’.’
I cupped his face in my hands, kissing him slowly, enjoying the taste of him; that taste of beer and cigarettes, his mouth opening as his arms fell loosely around my waist. ‘Well, perfect can be boring,’ I whispered.
‘And boring is one thing I’m not, sweetheart.’
Oh, God, he was making me feel like that infatuated teenager I was trying not to be, but it was hard not to get caught up in the fantasy of this situation. Because the reality was still something I was struggling to get my head around.
‘So, you’ve definitely made your mind up, then?’ Eddie asked, letting his hands fall a little lower, his fingers sliding down the back of my jeans. ‘About staying here, in Vegas?’
It was still the craziest idea; the kind of thing that didn’t happen in real life, not to people like me, anyway. People like me didn’t just up and leave everything behind to stay with a person they’d only just met, in a strange country, just because the sex was great. No, the sex was mindblowing! But this was so much more than sex. I knew that. I could feel it.
‘Oh, I’m staying, biker boy. So you better get ready for a wild ride of your own.’
‘You’re joking, right?’ Finn folded his arms as he leant back against the wall, watching as I brushed mascara over my lashes. I hadn’t expected him to take the news well, and he wasn’t. He wasn’t really taking it at all.
‘Finn, I’m too bloody exhausted to joke about anything.’
‘So, let me get this straight. The reason why none of us have seen you since yesterday afternoon is because you’ve been spending all your time with a Scottish biker called Eddie who owns a motorcycle shop and lives here, in Vegas.’
‘That’s about the size of it, yes.’
‘And tonight, you’re going out with him again?’
‘You’ve been listening, then?’
‘Yeah, I have, and all of that – all of that is fine. It’s what I wanted you to do, start having some fun. Have as much of that as you can, kiddo. But… staying here, staying with him…? Staying in America? What the hell is that all about?’
I swung around on my stool. ‘I need distance, okay?’
Finn’s expression was, of course, confused. I couldn’t really expect him to feel any other way. ‘What the fuck are you talking about?’
‘He’s still there, Finn.’
‘Who is? Jesus, Lana, you’re not making any sense here.’
No. I wasn’t. Because all of this had come from nowhere. I hadn’t even been aware it was what I’d been feeling until I’d said the words. ‘Adam.’
‘Adam? Why the hell is Adam on your mind all of a sudden?’
I looked down at my hands, which I’d balled up into fists without even realising, my nails digging into my palms. So why wasn’t I feeling any pain? ‘He’s not on my mind “all of a sudden”, Finn. He’s always been there. And what with the divorce and everything…’
Finn came over to me, crouching down in front of me, taking one of my hands and unfurling my fingers. ‘Why didn’t you talk to me, hmm? I thought you and Adam…’
‘We are. We’re over. Of course we are. But it doesn’t mean I can just push him to the back of my mind and forget about everything, just like that. We were together almost twenty years.’
‘But you weren’t happy, Lana.’
‘I wasn’t happy, not all the time. But he wasn’t a bad person, Finn. He just wasn’t the right person. For me. And I just wish I’d faced up to that sooner.’
‘Okay. But, that’s why you left him, isn’t it? Because he wasn’t the right person for you? You finally found the strength to make that decision, to move on. And that takes guts, kiddo.’
I pulled my hand away from his and turned to look back in the mirror, saying nothing.
