Already a little more confident, I continued until I arrived at Fatima, with nothing else in my head but the matter that had brought me there: to find something here that I was looking for.
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I had gotten up early. I didn’t need to touch the alarm clock. My body clock, as they call it, was accurate. When it reached five o’clock, I already had one eye open, although when it was a holiday or I was on vacation and didn’t have to do anything, I stayed in bed a little longer.
That never stopped me from being an early riser though, that has been my habit since my student days, when I would get up to spend some time reviewing the lessons we had in advance so I could attend having recently read them.
I have subsequently continued to do the same thing in life, because whenever I’ve had to do something, when I start it early, it seems that I get more out of the day. I also had the habit of taking a siesta after lunch, only for half an hour, but enough to rest and get up with new strength for everything that I had left to do that day.
Before leaving the guest house, I would have a fleeting breakfast, something I had learned how to do the day before. They told me that it didn’t matter that I was going out at such early hours, that they always left some cookies and a coffee pot with warm coffee prepared in case anyone ever needed it, as well as a jug of cold milk, in case they didn’t want to drink the coffee black.
They also let me know where I could find it, because it wasn’t in the dining room, since it was still closed at that time. It was down a hallway, toward the middle of it. There was a broad area there, it looked as if it had been built specifically for that purpose.
I headed for that hallway very early and I immediately saw the table all set up. It was round, the kind of table they call a Camilla table. It was covered with red fabric and a white tablecloth, with a brazier underneath it to keep everything warm. On top of it, in one corner, was the coffee pot and next to it, a jug of milk covered with a crocheted doily, those that I knew well from my grandmother’s house, work that she loved. There were little pieces she had made throughout her whole house. Well, they were in mine as well, because on every birthday she managed to bring a new one, for a coffee table or to throw over a chair, saying that the one we had was already very worn.
I took a glass from among those that were sitting there upside down on a tray and I poured myself a coffee, and then a little milk and two teaspoons of sugar, as was my habit. I never took a coffee without them, even though it made Chelito say that I was the greediest in the house. I took two cookies and drank my coffee, almost in a single mouthful. It went down so well, so warm, then I left nibbling at the cookies.
I went out into the street and saw no one there. It didn’t surprise me at that hour, everyone would be asleep. What’s more, the door could only be opened from the inside, so there was no need for anyone to be on duty, people could only leave, no one could enter.
I opened it very carefully so as not to make any noise. I didn’t want to disturb anyone, and I thought, “What if I want to get back inside, how would I manage that?” but I immediately dismissed the idea. “Such folly, this is exactly what I wanted, to see everything quiet at this time, with not a soul to bother me, because everyone will be sleeping and the place will be empty.”
I found myself on the street. A drizzling rain was falling, and I said to myself, “Well, it doesn’t matter, I know this kind of rain, it’s like ours in Santiago,” and I set out on my morning stroll.
I wandered about the streets a little absentmindedly. As I had imagined, the place was empty. It was still dark and there were barely any lights on. There were some, but they were so far apart from one another that I had to be very careful not to stumble over any stones that might be on the road that I would be unable to see. I didn’t want any surprises, so what was I thinking coming out so early? But it was too late to worry about that now.
As I was so distracted, I stepped in a big puddle, of course it was impossible to see anything, and I said to myself, “Well that’s a bad start,” but I continued walking. I could hardly stay there in the middle of it.
I went to a wider place, and I noticed that the ground was already much better, it was firmer and at least I could walk without having to take so much care.
A ray of light was creeping into the sky; it was already beginning to dawn. I was distracted contemplating that early morning light, we never really appreciate such things. It’s so important to be able to see and when we have enough light for it, we take it for granted and we don’t take it very seriously, but we sometimes have to see how difficult things can be when we lack enough light to see properly in order to appreciate it.
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I don’t know how long I was wandering around, but I certainly remember something that happened to me. In an instant I clearly saw three children there almost beside me, running around among some rocks. I looked more closely. There were two girls, one older than the other, and the other, who had quickly crouched down to hide, I couldn’t see properly.
It seemed very strange that they would be there at all, but I looked at them carefully, what strange clothes they were wearing, but I kept watching their games. Then came out the kid who had hidden behind the rock, and he was a boy. He said something funny and was laughing. I certainly didn’t hear it, but judging by the faces of the two girls, it must have been something they didn’t like.
I was still perplexed, watching what they were doing. I didn’t understand where they had come from, if I had been there alone and the entire place had been empty just a moment ago.
The three of them stopped near the biggest rock, and I saw the smallest of them, who from her face was clearly on the verge of tears, looking at her feet. That made me also look to see what had happened to her, and I could see that she had no shoe on one of them, she was only wearing what I assumed must have been her sock.
Approaching her and putting her hand on her shoulder, the older girl said something into her ear, and I saw how the little girl’s face changed. They both sat on the ground, and the older girl took off her shoe or slipper, I don’t know what to call it. They looked very unusual, very old, like those worn by people from the countryside. They had laces that were tied over the instep. I watched as the older girl took off her own, and gave it to the younger girl, who put it on, tied the laces and then ran away happily.
The boy then approached the stone where he had been hiding earlier, and pulled out something from behind it that I couldn’t really see at that moment. When he gave it to the older girl, I saw that it was the little girl’s shoe. With that little slipper in her hand, she called after her and I was amazed to hear her call her “Jacinta.”
What was going on? Surely it couldn’t be? But I was sure I’d heard it, it had not been my imagination.
I suddenly snapped back to reality. I was sitting on some rocks on a lonely path, but the sun was already breaking through the clouds and making its way past them. The rain had stopped and I could clearly see my surroundings full of puddles of the water that had been falling throughout the night, but the brightness of the sun indicated that today would be a good day.
Astonished and confused about what had just happened to me, I rubbed my eyes, and looked over at that place again, but there was nothing, only empty rocks and puddles on the ground. There was no one around, because I looked over at it several times.
There was nowhere for those children to hide, there was nothing there that all three of them could have hidden behind, the countryside around me was still empty. I was sitting there alone, confused, thinking about what I had just witnessed.
I couldn’t believe it, what could have happened to me? Right there in front of me, those children… What had just happened? I couldn’t understand it, they had suddenly disappeared as quickly as they had appeared earlier and departed as if it had all been a dream. From where I was, sitting on a big stone, alone, I looked around and saw that there was no one.
The countryside spread out on all sides waiting for the sun to rise. I noticed the smell of wet grass, but nothing more, no trace of those little ones who I had been able to observe running around right there right next to me only a moment ago.
I got up from my makeshift seat, and took a few steps. I wanted to understand what had happened, nothing seemed out of place, nothing appeared to have changed, but, what about… Yes, given what I’d just seen, where were all the other stones? I had seen more stones around this one, I think the largest was about the same size as the one I had been sitting on, the one behind which the boy had hidden.
Everything had been so real, I couldn’t believe it. I was… I wasn’t scared, no, I would sooner say… exhilarated, filled with such a strange feeling, and at the same time so… I don’t know how I could describe it, but I did feel a desire to repeat it again.
Hesitating, I thought “What do I do?” and between fearful and cautious, I sat down on the stone once again, this time making sure my eyes were wide open.
I saw how the sun’s rays were approaching and the light of the new day was overwhelming the place. That made me feel a little more at ease.
“Now I’m ready,” I thought, “let’s see what happens?” I don’t know how long I sat there, entertained watching the drops of water shimmer on the little blades of grass that were growing near my feet, and nothing happened, nothing at all. I waited for another little while, which seemed never-ending. The sun was now shining on my face and I decided to leave it.
I was already beginning to hear some noises. Perhaps they had already been there, but I hadn’t registered them. A rooster could be heard singing in the distance, and smiling I said to myself, “That bird must have gone back to sleep, what sort of time is this to warn that the sun is rising? It’s already been up for ages.” I continued walking along the still deserted path, when I saw two men in the distance, coming from the opposite direction, with some beasts of burden.
Surely they must be going to work and I thought, “What will they think of me? They’ll wonder what I’m doing here,” and without giving it any more thought, I greeted them as they passed:
“Bon día.”
They returned my greeting in the same manner and nothing more. It was the dog that accompanied them that wanted to be noticed, and spent a good amount of time barking, until one of the men, who must have been its owner, scolded it and it fell silent, and silence returned to the place, although only for a short time. The birds were already fluttering about, and even a child could be heard crying, surely that was his way of asking for his breakfast.
That was when I decided to go to the site of the apparitions. The weather was looking good and I wouldn’t have any problems getting there, but as I was lost in thought, turning what had just happened to me over and over in my mind, I didn’t realize that I was no longer alone and I was surprised to hear there beside me that someone was asking me a question:
“Are you going to Mass? If you don’t go a little quicker, you’ll be late.”
I came out of my thoughtful state, and saw two ladies hurriedly overtaking me, so I didn’t have time to answer them as they continued on their way.
I thought to myself, “Do I look like I’m on my way to church? They could hardly be more wrong. Of course there were not many other places that they might think I was going to wandering around here.”
I spent the rest of my time walking around, I wanted to see those places that I almost knew already because I had read so much about them. They had of course changed a great deal since the events had actually occurred. The passage of time is certainly not forgiving.
Instead of having deteriorated as usually happens at other sites, what had happened here is that many of them now had new structures.
I walked slowly, I wanted to feel the air, to smell what they smelled, I wanted to try to relive what I had seen and maybe to understand it.
As time passed, I grew more confused. I certainly did not doubt that what had happened to me had been real. But why me? I don’t believe in any of that, I just want to find evidence to prove that it was all a lie, that someone had orchestrated something that still evades my understanding and that tricked some innocent kids, so how could I possibly have seen them if two of them died a long time ago? From what I’ve since discovered, the third kid also died many years ago, although I have to study that controversy more thoroughly to see if I can clarify anything from it.
I suddenly noticed a sensation in my stomach, and when that happens to me, I know it’s my body warning me, and I feel that it’s telling me, “Manu, it’s time to eat, and if you don’t, you can’t go on much further.”
I was surprised. I didn’t think it was so late. I headed back to my accommodation, and when I entered through the door, the owner came toward me when he saw me.
“Hey there!” he said and immediately asked me: “What happened to you this morning? My wife put out breakfast on your table and seeing that time passed and you didn’t come down, she was alarmed that something might have happened to you, so she made me go up to your room.”
“‘It’s strange that he’s fallen asleep until so late,’ she said to me very seriously. ‘Go and see if he’s alright, or if he needs anything.’”
