On top of that, I had read something about the subject of Fatima, to try to understand “The Documents,” which I had hidden well. It was not until my first vacation, when I had more free time, that I thought I would devote a little time to that topic, to see what I could find out.
“I’m going to Portugal for a few days,” I told my family.
“Son, when did you make that decision? Why so suddenly? Has something happened that you don’t want to tell us about?” asked my surprised mother.
“Mom, I’m older now,” I replied with affection, “it’s high time I made a move and learn something for myself.”
“No, it’s not that I object, but tell me, what part of Portugal will you go to?” she asked in a worried tone.
“I think I’ll go to Fatima,” I said, lowering my voice.
“Whaaat?” said Carmen, “to Fatima? Did I just hear you properly? What business do you have going to Fatima?”
“Well, to Lisbon,” I adjusted quickly.
“I thought I heard you say you were going to Fatima,” she said with a smile. “Will it not be to pray, to get rid of those weird ideas in your head?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked seriously. “We all have the freedom to believe in whatever we want.”
My father, who certainly had an opinion on a matter like that, even if it was not the same as mine, intervened and said:
“Yes Manu, believe, if you can, in whatever you want, in something that’s not right and which I think even goes ‘against nature.’ I didn’t know then what it meant, to not believe, to question everything and to have such absurd ideas, but how can there not be a God who created us, who created everything? That’s impossible.”
“Dad,” I said, “let’s drop the subject, we’ve already discussed many times. You have your ideas, and I have mine, and I don’t think I’m hurting anyone thinking the way I do, and Mom, rest assured that I’ll be careful and nothing bad is gonna happen to me,” I said when I saw how her expression had changed when that topic of conversation had come up.
My mother, who didn’t want to talk about it either, said:
“Do you know that the twins have written?”
“Really? And what did they say?” Carmen asked very quickly, because she wanted to move away from the subject too.
“Well, that they’re doing very well at camp, that they swim a lot and that they’re training for a competition. They both say they’ll win.”
“Well, as always,” said my father, interrupting her, “they’ll have to give the trophy to both of them and they’ll have to share it. In reality that won’t be difficult because they sleep in the same room.”
“Well, I wonder,” said Chelito, “why don’t they each focus on something different?”
“But darling,” said Mom, “that’s impossible, they always have to do everything together.”
“No, I know that they were born together, but at some point they’ll have to realize that they have to do things separately, otherwise when they get older, will they also marry the same woman? I think that with that condition, no one will want them.”
Laughing at the remark, we finished the meal, but after having been in my room for a little while, I heard some tapping on the door. I was surprised because I hadn’t heard any footsteps in the hall.
“Yeees?” I said.
“Can I have a moment?” I heard quietly.
“Sure,” I answered. “Come in, come in, what do you want?”
Opening the door just a little, Carmen slipped inside:
“You don’t fool me you know. What are you looking for in a place like Fatima?” she asked, and then she said, “Look me in the eye and answer me, are you questioning something about religion at this point? You can count on me brother, you know that, right?”
“No!” I said in a serious tone. It seemed to just come out of me and I raised my voice a little.
“Alright, don’t be like that, don’t get angry, just acknowledge that what you said is very strange, that the one time you go on your own vacation, you’ve chosen to go there,” she told me.
“Well, it’s not the first time I’m leaving home on my own. Besides, what do you care where I’m going?”
“Why wouldn’t I care? I’m your big sister and I know it’s not the first time to see you doing something on your own. I already know that, but the other times were different, you got up to those high jinks over your summer breaks, to ‘help out in your own way,’ as you put it when you didn’t want to give us any further explanation.”
“What’s wrong? Can I not do what I want now? Didn’t I go to Paris?” I said a little nervously.
“Yes,” she answered immediately, “Paris, you were so lucky! I remember it well, but you weren’t alone, I think you were four, right? I think it’s great that you’re going where you want, I just wanted to know why this time was different, it just surprised me, that’s all.”
Not wanting to give her any more information, I said:
“Go on, leave me be, I have to study. I’ve got a final exam tomorrow and it’s gonna be pretty hard.”
“Alright, but when you come back from your trip, you have to tell me what you’ve seen, okay?”
“Okay,” I said so she would drop the subject, and saying goodbye, she left the room.
I looked at the closet. Fortunately, no one knew what I had hidden there. They would have asked me so many questions if they did. I would’ve had to give them so many explanations, and say to them, “Please don’t tell anyone,” so many times.
It was better this way, with only me knowing. I would share it with them some day, when I was clear on the matter, when I had discovered the reasons why that person had hidden it in that place.
<<<<< >>>>>
On my second day of being in Fatima, a very strange impulse within me compelled me to head to a solitary place. I let myself be carried away. For some time, I had stopped wondering about certain things that happened to me, and my curiosity made me follow those impulses. I knew that what happened next was not by chance, because I’ve never believed in coincidences.
I walked slowly, as if I were waiting for something, but waiting for what? I didn’t know anyone there. I had only arrived yesterday, and nobody knew that I was there, because I hadn’t told any of my family the specific place where I was going to stay.
Surely they thought I would be staying in Lisbon and that was also what I had thought at first, but when I arrived here at Fatima and after driving around a little to take a look at the place, I saw that sign that said, “Quartos,” or “Rooms,” so I stopped the car and got out. I had to ask if there were any free rooms to spend the night. A man was standing there at the door to the place and approaching him, I asked about it.
“Yes son, there are still some left, they’re not exactly banging my door down, this place only fills up on special occasions, and now it seems that the weather isn’t bringing much business with it,” he answered before entering the building.
I turned around to properly park and lock the car, then I went back to the entrance and saw the man talking to a woman. They both looked over at me as I came in through the door, and the man left to go into another room, closing the door behind him as he went.
After greeting me, the lady asked me if I would stay that night. At that moment I was confused and answered:
“I don’t know!”
Opening her eyes wide, she said:
“Do you no longer want the room? What happened?”
“No, yes, I want it, but I don’t know if it’s only for one night or if I’ll stay for longer,” I answered.
