Finding Stevie: Part 3 of 3

Chapter Twenty

A Dreadful Mistake

I checked on Stevie after everyone had left his review. He was in his bedroom, more angry than upset. There wasn’t much I could say to him about Fred beyond what I’d already said – that he loved him, but he didn’t think before he spoke. Stevie knew his grandfather far better than I did. Having made sure Stevie was OK, I told him not to sit alone brooding and to come down when he was ready. He didn’t come down until I called everyone for dinner. He was very subdued at the table, didn’t contribute to the conversation and just shrugged when Lucy asked him how his review had gone.

After dinner, as we were clearing away the dishes, I suggested to him again that he might like to invite a couple of his friends back from his class at the weekend, or go out with them – bowling, swimming, cinema or similar. Some months ago he’d mentioned he had two good friends in his class and I thought he needed to socialise, which would give him something to think about other than the police investigation. I did see the irony in what I was doing – trying to persuade Stevie to go out. When he’d first arrived, going out, staying out and ignoring his grandparents’ boundaries had been an issue, but now he wasn’t going out socially at all. He didn’t seem keen on my idea, but agreed to think about it, then spent the rest of the evening in his room. I kept a close eye on him, for while Stevie maintained he didn’t need to see a counsellor or doctor, I was worried his anxiety was building, which could spiral into a deep depression or worse. I think it is easy for teenagers to allow problems to escalate and dominate their thoughts so they can’t see a way forward. But there is always a way forward, hope and a solution, whatever the problem, which is why I wrote Happy Adults.

It was no great surprise that once Peggy had put Kiri and Liam to bed that night, she telephoned me. I took the call in the living room where – not unusually – I was alone.

‘Fred just can’t keep his mouth shut,’ she began. ‘But he doesn’t mean any harm by what he says. He loves the kids.’

I felt that excusing Fred like this was starting to wear a bit thin now and that he needed to channel some of that love he felt into accepting Stevie for who he was, and stop making snide remarks, or he’d never have a positive relationship with his grandson. I thought Fred would benefit from a self-awareness or emotional-intelligence workshop, but I didn’t say so.

‘You see, Cathy,’ Peggy continued, ‘Fred can get his head round supporting Stevie in the police investigation, but not the other stuff. His dad did something similar for Fred when he was a lad and got caught trying to hotwire a car him and his mates were going to steal. But a boy wanting to be a girl he can’t hack.’

‘I realise that, Peggy, but Fred might have to get his head round it if he wants to be part of Stevie’s life in the future. It can’t be so difficult if he loves him, can it? I know this is all new territory for you, as it was for me, but there’s a lot of information on the internet about gender identity with details of support groups. Did you ever try researching on a computer in the library?’

‘I went there but it was busy and the computers were being used, so I came out again.’ This, of course, was the problem with using the computers in the library, you sometimes had to wait for a turn.

‘It might be worth giving it another go,’ I suggested. ‘There is a lot of information online that could help. Sometimes just knowing that other families are going through similar difficulties can make you feel better.’

‘Yes,’ she said unenthusiastically. ‘I’ll take Fred with me, then I won’t feel such an ass not knowing what to do. He doesn’t mind asking daft questions. Anyway, the main reason I’m phoning is that I think it would be best if just I saw Stevie for now. Fred has offered to look after Liam and Kiri for an hour or so after school. I could come to your place or Stevie and I could go to a café as he can’t come here. What do you think?’

‘I think that’s a very good idea, Peggy. Do you want me to tell Stevie or will you?’

‘I’ll phone him,’ she said. As Stevie was in care voluntarily under a Section 20, Peggy was free to make these arrangements, although Verity would be informed.

Peggy must have telephoned Stevie straight away, for a short while later, when I went upstairs to shower and start getting ready for bed, Stevie came out of his room to find me.

‘I’m going to meet Gran tomorrow after school,’ he said. ‘Just to let you know I’ll be back late.’

‘Thanks for telling me. Have a nice time.’ He seemed a bit brighter.

‘It should be OK without him there,’ he said, referring to Fred. Which was a pity but true. It might be that Fred never accepted Stevie for who he was and it would always be the case that he had to see his gran without Fred there. It crossed my mind that if Stevie was sent to a young offenders’ institution, would Peggy be able to make the journey alone to see him on a regular basis or would that be completely impractical? There aren’t many of these institutions and our nearest was about seventy miles away, and even then it would depend if they had a vacancy. I wasn’t sure how often I’d be able to visit him if I was fostering other children, and I forced myself to think of something else. I believed what Stevie had told me about the reasons he’d taken the indecent images of Kiri and Liam, but would the police?

The following day Adrian asked me if I’d go shopping with him to help him choose two new suits for when he started work the next day. He often went shopping with Kirsty now and would have asked her, but she was working. I was a bit concerned that he’d left it rather late to decide he needed new work clothes, but thankfully, although Adrian is tall, he is of average build, so we didn’t have a problem. He quickly found two suits, then bought half a dozen shirts and ties and some grey socks. It occurred to me how easy it is for a guy to buy clothes for work compared to what the average woman needs: a selection of skirts, trousers, coordinating tops, dresses, jackets and so on. Perhaps gender-neutral clothes were the answer. I guessed we were heading that way compared to a generation ago, with girls now routinely wearing trousers at school and in the workplace.

Stevie didn’t arrive home from seeing his gran until nearly seven o’clock – later than I’d expected. As I let him in the front door I asked him if he’d had a nice time.

‘We went to the police station to get my phone and laptop,’ he said.

‘Oh, I see.’

He took his laptop from his school bag to show me. ‘I gave Gran my old phone, as I’ve got a new one.’

‘That was nice of you. Dinner’s ready. Does she know how to use it?’

‘No!’ He laughed. ‘We went to a coffee shop and I’ve been trying to teach her. I think she can phone now, but I’m not sure about texting or using the camera. She’s going to practise this evening and try to phone and text me.’

I smiled. ‘That sounds good, but you know you mustn’t speak to Kiri or Liam even on her mobile?’ I’d said it before, but it was important.

‘Yes, I know,’ Stevie said amicably. ‘I’ll teach her a bit each time we meet and in between she can practise.’ I was pleased that seeing his gran had been such a positive experience.

Dinner the next day was livelier than it had been recently. Adrian told us about his first day in his new job and Stevie entertained us with snippets from the mobile-phone lesson he’d given his grandmother. ‘She still doesn’t understand why it’s possible to use the phone outside the house,’ he said, and the others laughed loudly.

‘It’s all right for you lot,’ I said. ‘You’ve grown up with all this technology, but for some of us it has been a sharp learning curve.’

‘And you’re doing very well, Mum,’ Lucy said patronisingly.

‘Good, so this evening I’ll give you all a lesson on how to work the washing machine.’

A light-hearted groan went up. I’d recently had to replace the washer-dryer and the new one had so many function programmes only I had mastered it. But I was pleased that we were all able to joke and laugh again; a feeling of normality had returned.

Stevie met his grandmother after school for a second time that week and then again at the start of the following week. These meetings seemed to be having a positive effect on him. He was brighter when he returned, and once he’d eaten he set about doing his homework with little prompting from me. I didn’t ask what he and his gran talked about, it was really none of my business. I assumed they were continuing with their mobile-phone lessons, and they chatted generally, probably with Stevie telling her about school and life with us, and Peggy telling him about Kiri and Liam, which was fine as long as they didn’t have any contact. If I had asked more questions, would I have become suspicious? I wondered later. I doubted it. All I saw was the positive effect their meetings were having on Stevie. I wrote as much in my log notes. Stevie saw his gran again today after school. He arrived home at 7 p.m. and had clearly enjoyed his one-to-one time with her. How naïve those words seemed a few days later when I was asked to check my log notes for the details of the days and times they’d met.

On Tuesday evening of the second week in May, when Stevie had seen his grandmother three times and had a fourth meeting arranged for after school the following day, the house phone rang. I answered it in the living room where I was alone. It was eight o’clock, and having eaten dinner together the rest of my family were doing their own thing in other parts of the house.

‘Hello?’ I said, but no one spoke, although the line was open. I thought it might be a nuisance call. Our landline number was ex-directory, but we still received nuisance calls from time to time.

‘Hello?’ I said again, and was about to hang up when I heard a small noise on the other end of the phone, like a stifled sob. ‘Is someone there?’

Another sob, then, ‘It’s Peggy. Oh Cathy, I’ve been so stupid. I don’t know what to do.’ She could barely get her words out, she was so distraught.

‘Peggy, whatever is it? What’s the matter? Is Fred with you?’

‘Yes,’ she faltered. ‘He’s seeing to Kiri and Liam. I can’t deal with them right now.’

‘Why? Is someone hurt?’ I asked, my anxiety growing.

‘No,’ she sobbed. I waited until she was able to speak. ‘Cathy, you know I’ve been seeing Stevie after school?’ Her voice trembled.

‘Yes. You saw him last night. He really enjoys his time with you.’

‘I’ve been so stupid. I took Kiri and Liam with me to see Stevie.’

I went cold and my heart began thumping loudly. ‘Oh Peggy, you didn’t.’

‘I know it was wrong, but they missed Stevie so much. They couldn’t understand why they weren’t allowed to see him. I didn’t think it would hurt. I was with them the whole time.’

‘Where was this? In the coffee shop?’

‘That’s where we met, then we went on to the park.’

‘Yesterday?’

‘Yes, and the time before. It was Stevie’s idea – not that I’m blaming him; I should have said no. Fred thought it would be OK, and they did have a nice time.’ Her voice broke. ‘But someone saw us all together.’

‘Who?’

‘A colleague of Verity’s.’

‘Oh Peggy.’ Immediately I could see the implications.

‘Verity phoned this afternoon,’ Peggy continued between sobs. ‘The social services are having a meeting tomorrow morning that Fred and me aren’t allowed to attend. After that she and another social worker are coming to see us. They may take Kiri and Liam into care.’ She broke down and sobbed. My heart went out to her.

Peggy had every right to be distressed, for there was a real chance that Kiri and Liam would now be taken into care. Stevie was being investigated for paedophile activity and Peggy (and Fred) had allowed contact between him – the abuser – and his victims, Kiri and Liam. Of course, that was on top of already failing to protect Kiri and Liam when they’d all lived together and Stevie had taken the indecent images of them. I knew Peggy and Fred wouldn’t see it that way, but the social services would. They had to. They had a duty of care to Kiri and Liam and needed to protect them.

‘Oh Peggy,’ I said again.

‘I know. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.’

‘Does Stevie know?’

‘No. Can you tell him? I can’t speak to him now. Tell him what’s happened and that I won’t be able to meet him tomorrow.’

‘I will. What time are Verity and her colleague visiting you?’

‘Two o’clock. She wants to speak to Fred and me before he collects Kiri and Liam from school.’ Her voice broke again. ‘Cathy, do you think they’ll take Kiri and Liam into care?’

‘I don’t know, Peggy, but I think you need to be prepared for that possibility.’

‘I couldn’t bear to lose them.’ She cried openly. ‘I’ve lost my daughter and Stevie. If I lose the little ones too, my life won’t be worth living.’

My eyes filled. What could I say? Like other families who faced having their children taken into care, Peggy was devastated, as I knew Fred would be. Although I’d never met Liam and Kiri, I’d heard so much about them from Stevie and Peggy I felt I did know them. I could imagine the heart-breaking scene in their house if they were taken away, with all of them in tears and begging that Kiri and Liam be allowed to stay. How would they cope in the aftermath? I had no idea. As upsetting as that scene would be, worse was the knowledge that it could all have been avoided. If Stevie had felt able to talk to his grandparents when Joey had first asked him to take the indecent images of Liam and Kiri, and Peggy hadn’t now broken the contact rules, none of this would have happened.

‘I’ll tell Stevie,’ I said.

‘Yes, please, and tell him I’m sorry and we love him.’

‘I will. Phone me if you need to,’ I said.

She said a small ‘thanks’ and put the phone down.

With a very heavy heart, I went slowly upstairs to Stevie’s room, dreading what I had to say. I paused outside his door, summoning the courage to knock. ‘Stevie, it’s Cathy. I need to speak to you.’

‘Come in,’ he called.

I went in, leaving the door slightly ajar. Stevie was sprawled on his bed, watching a video on his laptop. Seeing my sombre expression, he immediately sat upright. I took the chair by the small desk.

‘What’s the matter?’ he asked.

‘Your gran just phoned me. You haven’t spoken to her this evening, have you?’

‘No. I sent a text, but she hasn’t replied. I’m seeing her tomorrow anyway.’

‘I’m afraid you won’t be seeing her tomorrow, Stevie.’ There was no easy way to say this. ‘The four of you – you, your gran, Kiri and Liam – were seen together yesterday by a social worker.’

‘No, I never –’ he began, immediately going on the defensive.

‘Stevie, there is no point in lying. Your gran has just told me she’s been taking Liam and Kiri to see you. A colleague of Verity’s spotted you all together yesterday. This is very serious, Stevie. And after everything that was said to you about not having any contact with Liam and Kiri!’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said with a small, dismissive shrug.

I looked at him carefully and thought he had no idea of the implications of this. ‘Stevie, Verity has told your grandparents that there is a possibility Kiri and Liam will be taken into care.’

The colour drained from his face. ‘They can’t do that! They haven’t done anything wrong.’

‘No, Liam and Kiri haven’t, but your grandparents have, in allowing you to see them.’

‘We won’t do it again, I promise,’ Stevie said, panicking. ‘I’ll tell Verity. I’ll phone her now.’ He grabbed his phone from the bed.

‘She won’t be there now,’ I said. ‘It’s after eight.’

‘I’ll phone her tomorrow morning then. I’ll tell her it was my fault. I asked Gran, and I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again.’

I supposed there was a slim chance this might help, but I didn’t want to give him false hope.

‘There’s no harm in phoning Verity tomorrow if you want,’ I said. ‘But I honestly don’t know how much good it will do.’

‘I’ll make her understand,’ he said. ‘I’ll phone Gran now and tell her I’ll make it OK.’ He had the phone to his ear.

‘I’ll be downstairs if you need me,’ I said, and left his room.

Five minutes later Stevie came down. ‘Gran’s mobile is off, so I tried the house phone. Grandpa answered and said Gran was too upset to talk. One of them will phone when they know what’s happening. Grandpa sounded like he was crying.’ Finally, the enormity of what was happening hit him.