Soul Possessed
My shoulders relaxed. The tension from the vision floated away as I sank down onto the plush grass. Jackson sat beside me. We watched the Soul Collectors arrive with new souls and quickly disappear back to the office, while the souls experienced their surroundings. Some stood still and others appeared to be on a treadmill as they walked in place, but I knew in their minds they were exploring their manifestation. That was a part of the Collecting gig that I never experienced and I found it fascinating each time Jackson took me there.
I turned to him. “Thank you.”
He nodded, his eyes trained on the Gate. “You’re welcome.”
“Sorry I ruined your training session.”
“Don’t worry about it, I needed a break anyway.”
“Doubtful.”
“Believe it or not, you’re getting better. It’s taking me almost twice as long to get you off your feet.”
A laugh burst from my lips. “That’s encouraging.”
“I meant that as a compliment. I’m not as nice as I used to be when it comes to combat.”
I remembered my first week of combat training and it hadn’t been easy. “You used to be nice?”
A wry smile touched his lips. “Like I said, you’re getting better.”
I looked back out toward Gate Seven. “I’m still not where I should be at this point.”
“You do have an advantage…” He wiggled his fingers.
“Absolutely not.” It wasn’t the first time he suggested accessing my ability to help become a better fighter. But no one else had these stirrings and they did just fine. Besides that, what would happen to Jackson if I actually embraced that side of me? Or anyone else within a mile radius for that matter?
Twisting his body so we sat directly across from each other, his knees brushed against mine. “I know you don’t believe me, but this is a part of you and it can be controlled.”
I checked my hands again “At whose expense?”
“I can handle it.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I nearly had you earlier.”
“No you didn’t.”
I reached my hand out keeping it inches from his chest. “I distinctly remember being this close.”
“I’ve been around a long time, Mags. And I’ve been in a lot of fights. Trust me, I was in control.”
For some reason, putting down that part of me made me want to prove him wrong. I stood up quickly.
He followed suit, but slower, calculated.
His blue eyes faced the Gate as we circled each other, they appeared almost translucent against the glowing orange sky. He grinned. A spark erupted within me. That wicked grin always meant he was up to no good. It was the same one that made me want to both rush into his arms and run away at the same time.
“What are you doing?”
Lifting his sword from his baldric Jackson twirled it in his hand. “You were the one who stood up. I’m assuming you wanted to prove me wrong.”
I cursed my defiant side and Jackson for always knowing what was on my mind. Even though my memories were locked away, traces of them appeared in my personality. More so when he was around. It was as if they responded to him in some cruel joke against me.
“No. That wasn’t—”
Jackson looked over his shoulder, showcasing his defined jawline in profile. “Well we need to finish up training for today if anything.”
He nodded to my sword and I lifted it, pointing it up at the ready. I pressed the toes of my boots into the ground and shifted my weight, just as Jackson taught me. Like a bolt of lightning, he struck, his weapon crashing down on mine. I blocked, but he twisted around and brought the sword down again, harder this time. I struggled to keep my sword up against his, but he pulled it away quickly before striking again. I blocked every shot, but unlike before I had no opening. His method while training had been to use cunning and brute strength, just as the Shadowed did. They didn’t care about poise and precision, they wanted results by any means necessary. But in addition to that, he was proving a point; that he was right.
Before I knew it, Jackson had me against a tree, the bark pressing into my back. I ducked one of his blows but he deftly spun around and continued swinging.
“Focus,” he growled.
There was no sign of the devastatingly handsome boy that I’d grown to know. He had turned on his full Guard mode and it was both a beautiful and terrifying sight. “I am,” I said through gritted teeth, accepting another shattering strike on my sword. I wasn’t sure how long my arms could take the beating.
“Don’t think.” He didn’t even look like he was struggling. His muscles moved under him as if the sword was an extension of his body. “The Shadowed don’t think, they act.”
The grass was a lot softer than the hard packed dirt I was used to training on. I regretted baiting him before but at each connection of our weapons, my regret grew into white hot anger. My rage blinded me and for a second I forgot where I was. I tripped over a small root in the ground, breaking my rhythm and in the process my sword flew from my grip.
Dropping his sword on the ground, he came at me. Along with swordplay, he’d schooled me in hand-to-hand combat, but before I could make a fist, his hand shot out and gripped mine, hard. He twisted my body unnaturally and I cried out as he grabbed my other wrist and held it behind me. He pressed my back against his chest, caging me. I tried to wriggle free from his hold but I failed.
His cheek pressed against my head and he whispered in my ear. “Like I said, I can handle it.”
I shivered, but this wasn’t the moment to get distracted. I struggled, but his grip only tightened.
Focus.
I kicked out but his legs were cemented in place. I lifted my body, putting all my weight on his arms. He grunted and I found a chink in his grip and muscled out. Maneuvering his hands he twisted me around so we were chest to chest. With the height difference it was more my chest to his abdomen. He held my arms together at my back with one hand, the other held up in front of my face, goading me.
“Alright,” I said, defeated.
He smirked. “Alright what?”
“You can handle it.” He released his grip and I stepped back from him, needing to get away from his distracting body.
I held out my hand. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to use this.”
“Fair enough, but if you ever want to—”He trailed off.
I adjusted my baldric and stared at the space between us. My wrists ached where he had held them, but I’d be damned if I would show my weakness.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, seeming to read my mind.
I blinked hard and flicked my gaze up to his. “Not as much as I’m about to hurt you.” I slid my foot under my sword and flicked it up to my hand.
“Bring it on.”
Chapter Three
Several sessions later, Jackson called a break in our training. We’d been at it since the night before and he suggested we rest. As a Collector I’d spent my free time in my office in a towering skyscraper in New York City that straddled the edge of the After and the Living Realm. The Guard had an office there too, but in their time outside of assignments they had living quarters nearby.
With my new almost-Guard status I had been allowed to stay with them in a set of bungalows that stood atop a cliff. Like most parts of the After, the first time Jackson took me there I’d been speechless. The office I’d known for the past century was a short distance behind the bungalows so we were available as needed. And while Collectors were linked only with Gate Seven and the office, the Guard could wander the After as they pleased.
The trail leading from our training site up to the bungalows tapered farther up the side of the cliff. Jackson took the lead toward our resting place. Souls had no need to actually sleep, but rest was needed, especially after an intense training session.
A sinking sensation crushed my midsection as we neared the Guard camp, as it always did when we returned. I tried to stay away as much as I could manage but I couldn’t do it forever. Dozens of pairs of eyes burned into my back and I watched Jackson’s posture stiffen, but he stayed by my side.
Another regret about the night of Ally’s birthday was some of the Guard witnessing me suck the soul from David. Now, they all avoided me. Felix had made it perfectly clear that Jackson was the only one willing to work with me. I was a ticking time bomb and no one wanted to witness or be victim to the power I couldn’t control. Jackson was the only one to treat me as if it had never happened. I didn’t know which was worse.
“Screw them,” he said, leading me toward my bungalow. “You shouldn’t worry about what they think.”
“I don’t,” I lied.
He chuckled. “Sure.”
I shared a bungalow with Calliope, the only other Guard that would tolerate me and even that was generous since she avoided me as much as she could. The exterior of the bungalows was made of a golden wood that grew in the After forests, with a gossamer fabric covering the front doorway that rippled in the light breeze. The After had a tropical temperature with a constant light warm breeze moving across the land. In one word, paradise.
Pushing the fabric aside and I entered the main space of the bungalow. It was simply decorated with few pieces of furniture for sitting, but as much as Calliope had a hard exterior she was a bit girly. The space had been hers for quite some time and she had made it so with planters on most surfaces, displaying the flora of the After.
“Calliope?” I called.
No answer.
Jackson stood at the far end of the room, looking out the window. Where in the Living Realm there would be glass, in the After the windows were just open spaces. “I guess we’re alone.”
Even though we were alone most of the time during training, we always had work to distract us, but I dreaded moments like these. Through his eyes I always saw a hint of anticipation, like he expected the “real me” to come jumping out and saying, “Gotcha!” Then we’d be off on our merry way as a couple who were once again deeply in love. Tendrils of a chill crept down my spine.
Since leaving Ally’s body I’d not been able to access any memories besides those already stored from after I died and the ones Jackson showed me. But the last one stuck with me like a brand.
Jackson moved to stand in front of me, his eyebrows almost touching with concern. “What are you thinking about?” He swiped a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers were warm, leaving a trail of awareness across my cheek.
I ignored his question and pushed past him towards my room. It was at the end of a short hallway. I had it set up like my sanctuary in the Collections office, with a desk on the far wall and a couch facing the window. But instead of the meadow I’d used as my calming device, it overlooked the cliff.
Jackson’s presence was overwhelming and I became very aware of his every movement. He’d never been inside my room since we’d started working together. It was just for me, but we both sensed the nearing of the end of our mandatory time together and I wasn’t sure I was ready to let go just yet. That sounded selfish but he’d become my only friend and almost a mentor to me, even though I knew he wanted more.
Pressing my hands into the seat and I leaned over taking in the sight of the After that even after a century still mesmerized me.
“So, tomorrow,” I started, turning around. Ally would graduate from high school and I wanted to be there for her. I’d seen her in passing a few weeks ago and we’d managed a polite greeting even though Felix thought it would be best to keep our distance for a while, at least until she had enough time to grieve for her father. I suppose, being around the soul who killed him probably wouldn’t help that.
But words failed me as my gaze landed on the spot on my desk where I’d placed the wooden owl. The one Jackson had given me when we’d first met and later again when I was at Ally’s house. After Ally’s transformation I’d gone back to the Greene house to retrieve it, wondering if I could gain any other memories from it, but I could only see the one it had triggered.
Jackson’s soul was stiff as his eyes followed mine and one of his hands reached out to touch the wooden figure.
My insides twisted uncomfortably.
His head tilted toward the owl. “You kept this?”
I shrugged and before I could say anything, his hands were on my hips. The intimate touch startled me.
“Why did you keep it?”
My thoughts were fuzzy, as if they were trying to make their way out of a thick fog all I could think was that his hands felt so right where they were. “I don’t know.”
“Mags.”
I looked down at the owl on the desk and touched it gingerly hoping it would clear my head. “I thought I could see more if I had it.”
Jackson’s mouth opened slightly and I stared at his lips, remembering through the memory of that night how they’d seared my forehead after he placed a kiss on it.
Suddenly, I put out my hands, pushing him away. I couldn’t focus when he stood that close.
He didn’t take the hint, instead he moved blocking my escape. “I thought you told Felix you didn’t want them back?”
I attempted to shove him away but he didn’t budge. “I did! And I don’t. But I just wanted—”
What did I want?
“What? Please tell me.”
I closed my eyes. “I wanted to see her,” I whispered.
The silence was deafening. We said nothing for a few moments and he didn’t ask who I meant. I knew he wouldn’t. We’d gotten to know each other well enough for him to know who I meant. Well I got to know him. He seemed to know a lot about me. Or who I used to be.
I stared at the wall. “I wanted to see Gemma. Okay? Happy? I thought if I could see her again, it would somehow help.”
He touched my chin and forced me to look up at him. “Help what?” he asked.
I bit my bottom lip. His eyes widened at the movement, so I quickly freed my lip from my teeth and pressed them together instead.
Smoothing a hand over my cheek, he gently asked, “What would seeing her again help?”
“It would remind me how much I didn’t want my memories back,” I said tilting my head and his hand dropped to his side. “If I saw her happy, I’d know that I’d never want to see me kill her again.”
“I can show you that.”
“I know.”
He let out a frustrated growl, his fingers moving to hide the owl. “Why didn’t you just ask?”
Walking to the space behind my desk, I put distance between us. I needed to clear my head. “Because it’s a stupid idea. I shouldn’t be given anything remotely happy after what I did.”
“What you did wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I didn’t protect you.”
I flinched. “You didn’t pull the trigger.” I could still hear the shots in my head as if they had just gone off. And Tristan’s sobs. I shook away the memory of Gemma’s unmoving stare.
Jackson was silent for a moment, his eyes never leaving mine. “Let me show you.”
The idea was tempting. It was all I’d wanted since I found the owl, but there had to be limitations. “No memories of me and you. Just her.”
Jackson nodded and lifted his hand again. I stepped forward, swallowing any doubt as he reached out, one hand cupping my cheek, the other grasping my hand lightly, tracing circles with his thumb and before I could worry about how those circles made me melt inside, the memory slammed into me.
“Margaret!” Gemma shouted with glee. “Come out of there, I know you are trying to scare me!”
I watched the young red-haired girl put her hands on her hips, trying to be brave. She scanned their father’s study, narrowing her eyes. The fire roaring in the hearth was the only source of light in the room, casting dark shadows across the furniture.
Maggie hid behind her father’s chair, in silent wait for her prey.
“I’m going to tell Mother!”
Maggie’s little hands tightened on the chair but she didn’t make a sound. I walked over to her, watching her mouth twist up into a sly grin. She was the older of the girls, but she protected her sister fiercely, proclaiming she was the only one who could tease her. Gemma hated when Maggie played games, but it thrilled Maggie no end and I could feel excited anticipation roll off her in waves.
Gemma’s bravery faltered as she stepped forward toward the overstuffed armchair, expecting her sister to jump out at her at any moment.
But Maggie waited. She had incredible patience, but I sensed that part of it was stubbornness and a desire to test boundaries. Her head poked out from behind the chair just as Gemma turned toward the love seat. I watched as Maggie slowly came out of her hiding spot and charged at her sister.
Gemma let out a scream but Maggie covered her sister’s mouth with her hand.
Both girls collapsed on the floor, Gemma’s muffled squeals threatening to break through Maggie’s tiny fingers.
“Shh,” Maggie cooed.
Gemma managed to wrestle her mouth away from Maggie’s hand. “I hate you!” Her indignation faltered into a fit of giggles and Maggie quickly joined her.
As she helped her sister up from the floor Maggie said, “Gemma. You need to always expect the unexpected. You can’t go through life being scared all the time.” Even though Maggie was a mere nine years old, she spoke as if she’d lived lifetimes before. It was one of the things that drew me to her more than any other Prognatum I’d watched.
Maggie took a handkerchief and wiped her sister’s cheeks.
“A lady wouldn’t do that to her sister,” Gemma said, finally relaxing.
“I don’t want to be a lady,” Maggie stated firmly. “I want to see the world and not just make babies for the rest of my life.”
Gemma shook her head. “That’s what we are supposed to do. That’s what Mother does.”
Maggie’s indignation flowed through her and into me. I knew Maggie was born to follow through with her Prognatum duties, she just didn’t know it yet. It was rare for a Prognatum to want the Guard position but Maggie would be thrilled when her father revealed it to her at seventeen.
As Maggie reached down to help Gemma up from the floor she whispered, “It’s not for me.”
Gemma wrapped her sister in a tight hug. “I will love you either way, dear sister.”
Maggie rested her head against Gemma’s shoulder. “I love you too.”
I fell out of the memory just as quickly as I’d fallen in, my legs shaking.
Jackson caught me and wrapped his arms around me. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I leaned closer, enjoying the feeling of being protected, and looked up at him. “You didn’t. It was a nice memory. Thank you.”
Jackson gave me a quick nod. “You’re welcome. If you want any more I have plenty.” He smirked tapping a finger on the side of his head.
I stepped out of his grasp, afraid of how close we had been and how much I had liked it. “Maybe some other time.”
He sobered and put the owl back on my desk.
“It’s strange to feel my emotions through you.”
Jackson chuckled, a low rumble in his chest, a sound I heard so infrequently, yet the one that made my day complete when I heard it. “When you get your first Prognatum job, you’ll get used to it.”
“If,” I hedged.
“When,” he corrected.
I heard shuffling from the other room, indicating Calliope’s arrival to our bungalow.
“Let’s meet in the morning for training before the graduation?” Jackson said as we walked from the room into the main area.
“Sounds good.”
Jackson nodded at Calliope as we passed. She didn’t hide her scowl. Where she was stony with me, she detested Jackson. Mostly because of what he’d done to Cooper all those years ago; nearly destroying him so he could get his job back. But I was in no position to judge since I’d actually destroyed someone.
I waved to Jackson and watched as he disappeared out into the night. Turning back to the main room I saw Calliope’s eyes slide over mine and quickly flick toward my room. Smoothing her short black hair from her face, she narrowed her chocolate brown eyes at me before turning on her heel and retiring to her room.
Rolling my eyes I headed back to my room. I just didn’t have the energy for Calliope’s attitude tonight. Tomorrow was one day closer to proving my worth and I wouldn’t waste that worrying about fitting in with her. At least not yet.
Chapter Four
The next morning, after a particularly intense training session, Jackson and I transported to Freedom High School. I didn’t know how I’d feel about going back. I hadn’t spent much time there, but it’s where I first met Ally, and Jackson officially, and where he’d shown me my traumatic last day as a human. I tore my eyes away from the concrete building straight onto other concrete things, such as the glares from the other Guard.
Our arrival hadn’t gone unnoticed. Several Guard stared, others made it a point to ignore us. Jackson and I were the black sheep of the team and I could imagine what they were thinking right now. Although I was glad I couldn’t. I counted at least two dozen Guard as we made our way to the football field where there were almost a hundred empty blue and gold painted chairs set up on the grass.
Jackson pointed to the last row of chairs. “Let’s set up back here.”
“You don’t have to protect me from them,” I said, looking into his hardened gaze.
He shrugged. “I’m not. These are the best seats in the house.”
I scanned the area, remembering the night before Ally’s birthday when the field teemed with Shadowed and we came close to losing. Only Cooper’s bravery had kept me and Ally’s body safe. He’d fought tooth and nail for us, yet I hadn’t had time to thank him. I thought I’d found a friend but I’m pretty sure there was a proximity factor involved in our friendship as we’d barely had a conversation since training started. Not that it wasn’t completely my fault for creating that gap…
“You okay?” Jackson asked cutting off my thoughts.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Nothing will happen,” he said softly, as he tilted his head indicating the rest of the Guard. “She is going to be safe, I think there are more Guard here than humans.”
I blinked a few times and turned away. Of course he was talking about Ally. I should have been thinking about her too.
Focus, I channeled Jackson’s constant reminder.
Families and friends of the graduates settled onto the bleachers on the far side of the field. I spotted Marie in the crowd, settling in her seat, smoothing her floral print dress across her lap. She adjusted her oversized white hat and looked up at Henry who held her matching purse as he sat down next to her. His hand moved to her lap, weaving his fingers in hers.
Who would have thought?
I’d been too busy when I was in Ally’s body to realize that the both of them had a life outside of taking care of her. One that was closer than I’d thought.
Jackson nudged me. “It’s starting.”
The student band began an upbeat song filled with off-beat drums and clashing cymbals. I tuned them out and focused on the entrance to the field as the crowd held its collective breath, waiting for a recognizable face.
They marched in procession in alternating blue and gold caps and gowns, but I didn’t need to look too hard for Ally. Six Guard flanked the middle of the procession on either side.
Ally’s golden hair shone against the blazing afternoon sunlight. Her transformation had intensified her beauty and, like her classmates and others in the crowd, I found her hard to ignore. Her head tilted up as she scanned the bleachers. Some might think it was a ‘holier than thou’ stature, but I knew it was the fact that the Guard were blocking her view as some of them were taller than her.