Confessions of a Greedy Girl

‘What the devil did you say that for?’ Nathan barked, once he’d bundled me into the corridor. ‘Lord knows what sort of nutcase you’ve encouraged. Next thing you know he’ll be stalking you.’ I didn’t think Victor was a nutcase, but Nathan barely let me get a word in until we’d reached the foyer, and then only to enquire if I had everything before we got into the waiting taxi. I was willing to bet it was meant for Victor, but Nathan didn’t seem to care.

‘Actually, no.’ I paused at the top of the entrance steps, forcing Nathan to backtrack in order to find out what the problem was. As a consequence of being dragged from the room, I’d managed to leave my handbag behind. ‘Purse,’ I explained.

‘Oh, blinking hell, Lys!’

‘It’s not your problem,’ I snarled back.

‘Get in the cab. I’ll fetch it.’

I nearly did, until I realised going home sans keys and cash would be completely pointless. ‘You get in,’ I insisted. ‘My keys are in my purse.’ That and it plain made more sense for me to fetch my bag. I knew where I’d left it for starters, and nor was I quite so desperate to flee into the night. ‘Go home, Nathan. I’ll get Sam to phone me another taxi. We’ll catch up later in the week.’

For a moment I thought he was going to be belligerent about it. Nathan could be remarkably stubborn on occasion. His eyebrows were drawn low and his lips had formed a sour line. ‘Go. Honest, I’ll be fine.’ I was a big girl and I knew how to find my way home. Nor was I half as tipsy as I’d been an hour ago.

‘Oi! You getting in, or what, mate?’ the cabbie hollered.

‘All right,’ Nathan gave in with a sigh. He kissed my cheek. ‘I’ll see you Friday. Stay safe.’ He clearly wasn’t pleased to be leaving me behind, but he got into the cab.

I was already back inside the building by the time they pulled away.

Victor occupied almost exactly the same spot I’d stood in moments before when I returned to the green room. He turned slowly when he saw my reflection so that we were facing when I walked towards him. ‘I forgot my purse,’ I explained.

He bent and retrieved the item from the sofa, then held it out to me.

‘Thanks.’

‘No problem.’

Really, that’s where the conversation ought to have ended. Except, let’s just say that on second inspection, my interest was doubly piqued.

Victor Alexander was not a traditionally handsome man, but he was definitely a striking one. It was more than just his clothes. He was slender as a willow, and angular, almost to the point of being gangly, with thick collar-length black hair. Yet it was his very loose-limbed eccentricity that made him interesting. What captured me at that moment though, were his eyes – eyes full of icy flames. Looking at him made me believe in Jack Frost and the Snow Queen, and conjured images of ice palaces and romping before roaring fires wrapped in bearskins.

What’s more, not only did I suddenly want to inhabit those snowy vistas with him; I suspected he felt exactly the same way.

‘Was there something else?’ he asked in response to my lack of movement.

‘No, that’s everything.’ I shook myself out of my stupor and tucked my purse under one arm. ‘Well, goodbye again,’ I remarked, turning away.

‘You know it really wasn’t my intention to spoil your birthday.’

I turned back again, and he nodded towards the ridiculous pink birthday badge Nathan had insisted on pinning to my dress.

‘That’s OK. You haven’t – yet.’

‘Yet?’ He grinned and I couldn’t help but reciprocate. ‘That rather implies that I’m about to.’ He sat down, so I did too.

‘Depends,’ I remarked cryptically. God knows what I was thinking, but considering the way he was making my insides fizz just by looking at me, I’d be a fool not to try to draw this out.

He pressed his index finger across his lips. ‘On what?’

‘Whether you’re going to kiss me?’ Now I was being downright naughty, perhaps even too outrageous for his sensibilities. Really, I knew nothing about him. The thing was I’d seen this film once, where the girl says to the guy ‘we should have sex’, within minutes of meeting him. And they do. And then they keep meeting and it all turns out wonderfully. Based on first impressions, I think I was hoping for a similar kind of happily-ever-after with this man. That was assuming I hadn’t already convinced him I was delusional, desperate and/or dangerous. Lord knows it was probably justified. I’d only just met the man, and I’d just sent my date home in a taxi. Not that Nathan and I were a proper item.

‘I’m not sure I can do that, Lyssa.’

I heard the words, but it was his expression I paid attention to. He never once looked away. ‘Even if I say please?’ Daringly, I touched his face.

‘Even if you say pretty please.’ He didn’t attempt to escape my touch, though he did put his hand over mine. I bit my lip. I guess I’d read the whole thing wrong and had somehow misconstrued his politeness for genuine interest, and yet … Dammit, I leaned forward to steal what I wanted. He tasted good. It felt even better.

He looked slightly shocked, but not in an angry way. Taking that as encouragement, I leaned forward to do it again. Victor covered his mouth with his fingers. Instead of kissing, we stared at one another from a distance of mere inches.

‘I can’t.’

‘Nathan and I, we’re not committed,’ I explained, thinking that might be the reason for his reluctance. He had just witnessed me being taken by the guy. ‘What I mean is that we’re lovers, but we’re not in love. We’re not exclusive. We see other people.’ I’m not sure my explanation was really helping.

‘I still can’t.’

‘Girlfriend?’ I wondered aloud.

‘No.’

‘Married?’ Not that he was wearing a ring, but not all guys do.

He shook his head.

Well, I guess I’d made a big enough fool of myself. I made to rise, only for him to catch hold of my hand. My insides were flip-flopping between precaution and desire, as he drew me back down onto the sofa, but I knew what was going to happen. I was going to have sex with this man. Sizzling hot, uncomplicated, birthday sex and it was going to be terrific.

‘I’m curious, do you make a habit of flaunting yourself and then propositioning the onlookers?’

‘Do you make a habit of spying on people?’

‘Touché.’

Goddammit, what were we doing. He was still holding my hand, and smoothing circles over my knuckles with his thumb. How could I feel so turned on by something so simple?

‘Nathan stole your cab, by the way.’

‘Did he?’ He didn’t seem overly concerned by the fact. ‘I guess that means I’m stuck here a little longer.’

Considering he’d just refused to kiss me, he made that remark sound awfully like a proposition.

‘And?’ I prompted. Something had to happen. I couldn’t sit here feeling this tense without completely losing my mind.

‘And –’ His smile grew impossibly broad. ‘– and I’m sorry I missed the opportunity to see you –’

‘– to see me?’

‘Come,’ he said.

Heat rushed through me like I’d been hit by a geyser. I was stunned by his words and simultaneously aflame. My body gave one pulse after another, while between my thighs I was suddenly sodden. I’d never had such a strong reaction to a single word before. I didn’t actually come, but I came insanely close.

‘Maybe you could touch yourself?’

OK, I thought I’d been forward for stealing kisses, but he was demanding far more.

‘Where exactly?’ As if the direction of his gaze didn’t make it obvious. ‘You can’t expect me to do that here?’

‘Why’s it any different to what you were doing earlier?’ When he put it like that, he sort of had a point. I’d still be getting off in public with an audience. It’s just that doing myself seemed far naughtier than doing it with another person, and I at least knew Sam and David, whereas I knew nothing about him. Of course, that hadn’t stopped me trying to jump his bones a minute ago. Nor was I particularly shy about this sort of thing. I wasn’t the kind of girl who never touched herself. I often used my fingers to help things along. Plus, there was every possibility that if I did this, he’d be all over me as hard as I could possibly wish.

I sat back and, knees bent, opened my legs a fraction, just enough so that he could see up my dress. Tentatively, I put one hand on my thighs, and raised it along with the hem of my dress.

Victor’s gaze became fully focussed on the ascent of my fingertips. He crept forward, first perching on the sofa edge, then kneeling on the floor to watch as I brushed through the tufts of dark curling hair framing my sex. Considering how aroused I already was, I kept the touches light, and well away from anything sensitive.

‘I bet you’re really good with your hands, being a sculptor.’

The prompt failed to draw him. If he’d just move one of his hands slightly so that it lay upon my thigh.

‘Potter,’ he corrected. ‘Sculptors carve. They chip away at things. I mould things to my will.’

I could believe that, although, presently I was more interested in getting my hands on his body and exploring all of his curious male angles and ridges, than letting him top me. Instinct told me he possessed the sort of washboard abs you could climb down, and I had high hopes for other bits too, given the bulge he was sporting.

‘Why don’t you touch properly?’ he asked, reasonably.

‘Because I’m wound too tight.’ I’d come too fast and too hard, when I wanted to draw this out. ‘Surely you know how that feels.’ An erection as fierce as the one he had caged had to hurt. ‘Maybe you should … as well.’

Our gazes met. Raw lust crackled between us. I read his need. How he longed to bury himself deep, pound into me until there were no boundaries left between us, and we burned with pure lust. I saw too that he wouldn’t do it. Victor Alexander had no intention of doing me, even if that meant he had to ride home with a hard-on you could bang nails with. He wouldn’t give in. Not tonight, and as far as I could read, not any time soon either.

For some mad reason, he’d decided not to touch me or himself.

‘Do you usually just get off by watching?’

‘Not as a rule.

‘Touch yourself there,’ he demanded.

My fingers were trembling, my agility shot to pieces. It was like a battle of wills. Both of us staring. I’m not sure who gasped the loudest when I finally did as he asked. My little bud stood so far to attention that one press there was like hitting the ignition on an explosive device. And once done, there was no going back. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t unwind the act.

Victor remained unearthly still. He didn’t rub himself. He didn’t even twist to generate friction. He just let his yearning fill up his expression, until it became too raw to look at, too mesmerising and terrifying. I didn’t understand it, but I felt its lure.

My eyelids fluttered closed. The darkness only increased my awareness of him; his thick earthy scent, the whisper of his breath against my hot skin. He moved. Blew. My body convulsed. He blew again and orgasm gripped me tight. Without touching me, Victor tipped me over. I came so hard the muscles in my thighs were still twitching minutes afterwards.

I opened my eyes to find him still there, still watching me with those silver-grey eyes, while his breath continued to whisper across my sex, now soothing instead of teasing. ‘Beautiful,’ he muttered.

He offered me a hand up, which I accepted, thinking that now surely I’d be rewarded with a kiss.

Apparently not.

‘Why?’ I had to ask.

He had to know he could do whatever he wanted to me at that moment. Instead, he stood away from me, tense and horny, when really there was no need. I could make him feel good.

‘I’ve probably kept you too long.’ He shoved his hands into his pockets, which had the effect of raising his shoulders.

‘That’s fine. You know I don’t normally –’

‘You don’t have to explain.’

But I did. I didn’t want him to think I routinely picked up guys in this way. Yes, I enjoyed a somewhat unconventional sex life, but I only really played with guys I knew. I’m not saying I hadn’t enjoyed the odd one-night stand in the past, but it wasn’t my normal mode of operation.

‘We’d better go down now, in case there’s another taxi waiting.’

A curious combination of embarrassment and relief flickered across Sam’s face when she saw us together. I was betting she’d anticipated me having left along with Nathan. ‘I was just coming to find you,’ she said to Victor. ‘The taxi just pulled up.’ We headed straight outside.

‘Are you OK sharing?’ I asked.

‘It’s yours. My lift’s finally arrived.’ He glanced across the car park to a point some distance away. ‘It was nice meeting you.’

‘Likewise.’

He lingered, rather than hurrying away. ‘Why aren’t you an item?’ he asked, referring back to my remarks about Nathan.

‘I’m not sure I could ever be content with only one man.’ I was being flippant. The hour was late and I still didn’t know how to interpret him. The truth was that I was still carrying around too much baggage from my last relationship to consider confining myself to another man anytime soon. Craig and I had split after he accused me of infidelity. All I’d actually done was ogle a few guys. Not touched them or kissed them, just turned my head to look when they walked by. In Craig’s eyes that was enough.

At least my present arrangement allowed me to do whatever I wanted with whoever I chose. It kept things simple.

‘What about you?’ I asked, as he held open the taxi door so I could climb inside.

An enigmatic grin spread across his face. ‘One man is plenty.’

Chapter Two

We weren’t really supposed to carry personal phones at work, but I’d accidentally left mine in my pocket earlier, so when it bleeped as I worked on tidying up the jewellery stand, I took it out and answered.

‘Hello.’

‘Lyssa?’

I knew his voice at once. ‘Victor?’ I clutched the phone so tight to my ear it began to ache. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. How had he got my number? Why had he called? ‘I wasn’t expecting to hear from you?’

‘Your friend Sam gave me your number. She wasn’t happy about it, so I had to twist her arm. I don’t think she likes me anymore.’

‘Oh!’ A nervous giggle escaped my mouth. I could guess what sort of persuasion he’d used. ‘But you wouldn’t really have exposed her,’ I said, as I ducked out of sight behind one of the display racks.

It was Victor’s turn to laugh. ‘As what – a woman with a sex life? Come on, I’m equally, if not more, guilty of public lewdness than she is.’

‘You didn’t take any clothes off,’ I reminded him. He hadn’t done anything besides watch, much to my chagrin. I wanted to ask him why, but the moment didn’t feel right. I was too curious to learn why he’d phoned to risk him hanging up.

‘You know –’ I could practically imagine him ticking one of his long elegant fingers at me ‘– I’m not sure that would weigh much in my defence, given the view from where I was standing.’

‘My view was pretty good too.’

‘Was it?’

Damn, now I was blushing. I held my breath, waiting to hear why he’d called.

‘Can we meet?’ he asked.

Yes! Yes, we most certainly could. ‘When?’ I gasped, so urgently I probably sounded like a slavering beast.

‘How about tonight?’

Argh! It was Friday. I already had arrangements for tonight. I danced about from one foot to the other. To anyone walking past I probably looked like a toddler desperate for a pee. Ultimately though, there was only one answer I could give, despite how little I wanted to give it. ‘I’m sorry, Victor. I can’t. I’d love to. It’s just I have something on.’

‘You mean you’re seeing someone else.’

It was a standing arrangement that I met the guys on a Friday night. We had fun. We got inventive. This evening’s entertainment had been planned for weeks. ‘We’re playing laser tag. Nathan’s picking me up.’

‘Excuse me?’ His disbelief whistled out of the speaker.

‘It’s where you chase around and try to zap one another.’ We didn’t only meet up for sex. OK, maybe we did, but at least we tried to be original about it.

‘I know what it is, Lyssa. Humour me; I’m trying to picture you in combat boots and camos. Do you have one of those little green vest tops?’

‘Maybe,’ I teased. ‘I guess you’ll have to come along to find out.’ Play things right and he’d also get to discover what I wore beneath it. Mentally, I began picking out my best underwear. Of course, if Victor was going to be joining us, I’d have to warn Nathan in advance. He’d been a bit off since Wednesday night, but as he’d never had any problems with me playing with other guys before, I’d largely put that down to his plans being disrupted, rather than suspicions about what I’d done after he’d left.

‘I don’t know. It’s not really my scene.’

The first time I’d taken part, I hadn’t anticipated it being my scene either. Determined not to let him off the hook – he might not make another offer, and so far he hadn’t suggested an alternative date – I rambled on for a few more minutes, trying to persuade him to come along, and giving him directions to the site. The grounds were in an area of private woodland, a mile or two outside of town. Nathan knew the site owners. He even refereed for them occasionally, hence on nights like tonight we got the place to ourselves.

‘How many guys, Lyssa?’

‘I’m not sure. Some of them bunk off home early.’ His soft cough told me I’d missed his meaning.

‘How many do you play late with?’

It wasn’t as if I was admitting to anything he didn’t already know, but I still put off giving an answer until the silence between us grew awkward. ‘Five – but only three of them will be along tonight.’ David and Sam avoided the out-of-doors, and they only ever really watched anyway.

‘Uh-huh.’ Disappointment threaded the two syllables. His disapproval cut me up. I wanted him, you see, and I’d convinced myself it wasn’t the fact I was involved with several other guys that had put him off the other night. ‘It’s just I’m not altogether sure I want to be number six.’

I refrained from swearing, but only just. ‘Then why did you phone?’ I hung up.

I’d heard it all before, about how I was a slut with extra-loose morals and a slack pussy, about how I was a user and whore. I’d taken it from former friends and strangers, but I wasn’t going to listen to it again from him. Since he’d known there were other men in my life, why the hell had he even bothered to call?

He probably thought he was the guy who could save me. That he’d fill me up with his magical dick and then I’d never need anyone else in my hoo-hah. Well, I didn’t believe in magic dicks, and my pussy liked being kissed by multiple men.

I switched my phone over to aeroplane mode and shoved it deep into my pocket.

Hattie joined me about two seconds later, carrying a box of assorted greetings cards. ‘I thought we could have a bit of a swap around.’ I didn’t hide my irritation quickly enough, causing her to frown. ‘Is everything all right? Nothing’s up with you and Nathan, is there? That’s who you were talking to, right?’

‘Nothing’s wrong. We were just sorting out arrangements for tonight.’ I hated lying to her; really I did, but it was easier and less risky than presenting the truth.

‘Again. You’re always out. He must really love you, Lyssa. He’s always taking you places. Hey, you never told me what he got you for your birthday?’

‘Ah, yes. It was just some bits and bobs I asked for.’ In fact, he’d bought me fishnets, a garter and a whip, and suggested a bit of role-playing one night. I was to be a wannabe cabaret star, and he’d be the club manager, with whoever else wanted to join in acting as club patrons. It wasn’t clear to me where the whip came in. I suspected he’d bought it to use on me, rather than the other way around.

‘No fun for me tonight,’ Hattie complained. ‘Not that there’s anyone offering to take me anywhere.’

‘How come? You’re in now. You can’t be down for the late as well.’

‘Val wanted the time off to go to her cousin’s wedding reception. I’m the saint that volunteered to cover for her.’ That was Hattie, always the one to help out, even if it inconvenienced herself. ‘There is a plus side. I’m not wholly selfless.’

There was never a plus side to working the late shift on a Friday night. It was the worst shift of the week. Nevertheless, I waited to hear the supposed positive.

‘It means I’ll be around when you-know-who gets off for the night.’

And like that Leif Haralsson slipped back into the conversation. ‘Wonderful,’ I agreed, refusing to dampen Hattie’s romantic dream. ‘You can totally use that time to charm his socks off.’

‘Maybe.’ Hattie gave a girlish chuckle, and then she sashayed around the edge of the card rack performing her best sexy wiggle. To give her credit, it was a pretty fantastic wiggle. ‘Although,’ she mused, ‘I’d rather charm something else off him.’

‘Hattie!’

‘What?’ She pressed her lips together, trying to look innocent despite an enormous smirk. ‘Maybe, I’ll even tell you about it afterwards.’

I grinned too. Not because I believed for a second that she’d even speak to the guy, let alone get him anywhere near a bedroom, but because Hattie deserved some fun. ‘Girl,’ I sighed. ‘If anything happens, you’d better spill, because I’m totally going to want to hear about it.’

Nathan picked me up at eight that night. He was sizzling in his night-time camos, and I could tell he was up for some serious fun. ‘Careful,’ I warned him. ‘If you keep turning up in all these costumes, I might forget what you normally dress like.’

‘Wait until you see the pimpy suit I’ve bought. Cabaret night is going to be mega hot. I was thinking of arranging it for next weekend. What do you think?’

‘Maybe. Let’s not decide yet.’ I still wasn’t sure about it. It sounded a little too sleazy for my tastes, although Nathan was clearly well into the idea. ‘You know I don’t dance, don’t you, before you go getting any ideas about me cavorting with a chair, or any other nonsense.’

I guessed from his pout that was exactly what he’d been envisaging. Sadly, I was no Liza Minnelli, and definitely no Dita Von Teese.

‘You’d put on a little show for me though, wouldn’t you, Lys?’

‘No,’ I insisted. ‘I don’t dance.’

We completed the first half of the journey through the evening traffic listening to the radio. It was only once we’d crossed from the suburbs out into the open countryside that we spoke again.

‘You’re moping,’ Nathan observed, though how he could tell I wasn’t sure. I’d been making a particular effort to not think about Victor or our earlier phone call. It only made my blood boil.

‘Want to tell me what about?’

‘Nope.’

‘Something at work?’

‘I said nope.’

‘Has that jerk phoned you?’

An enormous telling sigh, wormed its way out of my mouth. ‘Once.’ It was almost a relief to admit it, even though I was loath to discuss the ins and outs of the conversation. ‘Nothing of interest was said.’ A fact I remained disappointed by. Maybe Victor was a jerk, but he was a jerk who hit my pleasure centres like nuclear fuel. I’d had high hopes when he’d rung.

‘What the fuck were you thinking even giving him your number? When did you give him your number? Didn’t you notice the fact that he had fucking weirdo stamped across his forehead? You don’t give out personal information to guys like that.’

When Nathan ranted, he sounded exactly like my father, and if I’d taken his advice, the only men I’d ever have seen would have been the local vicar and the dentist.

‘I mean, come on, Lys. Who the hell hangs around to watch when they’ve just stumbled upon some folks having a good time? The decent thing to do would be to turn a blind eye, not ogle them.’

I defensively squished my hands between my thighs. All things considered, Victor probably only weighed up at five per cent weird, versus ninety-five per cent hot. As ratios went, that wasn’t a bad one. Shame then, that he’d been unable to accept the small things that were weird about me.