Please Don’t Take My Baby
I took the opportunity to talk to Paula on the way home. Once she’d finished telling me her news from her day at school, I said: ‘Jill phoned today and she’s asked us if we can look after a teenage girl for about a month.’
‘Good, I’m pleased we’re having a girl,’ Paula said. She always preferred fostering girls so that she had someone to play with, while Adrian preferred boys for the same reason, although in the end they usually all played together, and of course we had no choice as to which sex the child would be: it was a matter of which child needed a foster home.
‘Yes, a big girl,’ I said. ‘She’s seventeen.’
‘Will she still want to play with me?’ Paula asked.
‘I am sure she will sometimes, although she’ll need a lot of rest. She’s expecting a baby.’
Paula went quiet for a moment and I could almost hear her thought processes ticking. I would wait for her next question rather than rush in.
‘Is the daddy coming to live with us too?’ Paula asked. Aged eight, Paula knew that babies had daddies, although they didn’t always live with their child.
‘No. It will just be Jade,’ I confirmed.
‘And the baby is still in her tummy?’
‘Yes. That’s right.’
‘Will it come out while she’s living with us?’ Paula asked, pulling a face. She also knew where babies came from and that giving birth was a messy business, from seeing baby rabbits being born.
‘No. Jade will leave us before the baby is born,’ I said. ‘Although there’s nothing to be squeamish about. Giving birth is perfectly natural.’
‘I’d rather be a bird and lay eggs,’ Paula said.
I smiled. ‘And have to build a nest each year? And then sit on the eggs until they hatch?’
Paula laughed and then fell silent again. I could see she was thinking again. ‘Do teenagers normally have babies?’ she asked. ‘Our teacher said you had to be an adult.’
‘It’s best to be an adult,’ I said, ‘although a teenager can have a baby. But it’s a big responsibility, so it’s much better to wait until you are older and have a nice home and a husband to help you.’ It might have sounded as though I was lecturing Paula, but I thought it was important she knew what was generally considered the better option. Paula was young and impressionable and looked up to older girls. I didn’t want her using Jade as a role model; pregnant at seventeen with nowhere to live – what mother would?
We’d just got home when the telephone rang. It was Jill. She said that Jade had been found and was now with her social worker, Rachel, and they would be with us at about five o’clock. Jill also said she was aiming to be with us just before then. As my support social worker, whenever possible she was present when a child was placed – to check the paperwork and that I had everything I needed to look after the child, and generally to be supportive and give advice where necessary.
Adrian arrived home at 4.30, and as he helped himself to a glass of milk and a banana I quickly brought him up to date.
‘Is that the girl that teacher wanted us to have?’ he asked. After Meryl had left the evening before, Adrian and Paula had asked what she’d wanted and I’d briefly told them.
‘Yes, the same one,’ I said. ‘Meryl – the teacher – phoned the social services first thing this morning. I’ve said we’ll look after Jade just for a month, until they’ve found her somewhere else to live.’
Adrian nodded and, having finished his snack, went off to play with his Nintendo in his room, which was far more interesting than a teenage girl coming to stay. Paula watched some children’s television. Then at 4.50 the doorbell rang and it was Jill. Paula knew we would need the sitting room and scampered off upstairs to play – either with Adrian or in her own room. Jill called hi to her and then came with me into the kitchen while I made her a cup of coffee.
Jill didn’t have any more details about Jade, so we’d have to wait until Rachel arrived with Jade. We went through to the sitting room with the coffee and Jill commented that snow was forecast, and also that it was good of Meryl to take such an interest in Jade. I agreed, although I didn’t tell Jill that Meryl’s interest was partly due to her having experienced something similar, as I thought she’d told me that in confidence.
At just gone 5.00 the doorbell rang and, feeling a little nervous and apprehensive, I left the sitting room and went down the hall to answer it. As I opened the front door the cold air rushed in.
‘Hello.’ I smiled. ‘I’m Cathy.’
‘Hello, I’m Rachel,’ the social worker said, shaking my hand and stepping into the hall first. ‘This is Jade, and this is Tyler, Jade’s boyfriend.’
‘It’s nice to meet you.’ I smiled again. Then, without thinking, I added to Tyler: ‘I wasn’t expecting you.’
‘No, neither was I,’ Rachel said pointedly.
‘I wanted him here,’ Jade put in a little grumpily.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Welcome.’
‘He’ll just be here for a short while,’ Rachel said. ‘So he knows Jade is all right, and then he’ll be leaving.’
Tyler looked about aged twelve and beside Jade looked more like her son than boyfriend. Not only was she taller than him by a good two inches, but she was also about twice his width and matronly. I thought she’d probably been a bit overweight before her pregnancy but now with her stomach distended she was certainly a big girl and, to use a saying, looked as though she could have eaten him for dinner. She was plain but not unattractive, with chin-length brown hair. She was dressed in black leggings and a long jumper, which was stretched tightly over her bump.
Tyler was carrying a zipped holdall, which I assumed contained Jade’s belongings, and I suggested he left it in the hall. I then showed the three of them through to the sitting room, where Jill stood to greet them. I asked Rachel, Jade and Tyler if they would like something to drink but they didn’t want anything. Jade and Tyler sat close together at one end of the sofa and Rachel sat at the other, while Jill and I took the single chairs. Rachel was tall and slender and I guessed in her late twenties. She had a pleasant manner, warm and vibrant, although I thought she could be firm when necessary.
‘Thank you for agreeing to take Jade,’ Rachel said, removing a wodge of papers from her large bag-cum-briefcase. ‘She’s promised me she’s going to behave herself.’ Which suggested she might not have behaved herself in the past.
I smiled at Jade. She linked her arm through Tyler’s but didn’t smile back and concentrated on the carpet.
‘I’m pleased to be able to help,’ I said brightly. ‘I’m sure Jade and I will get along fine. I’m looking forward to having a teenager in the house.’
Tyler glanced at me, while Jade continued staring at the carpet.
‘Everything you need should be in here,’ Rachel said, passing a set of paperwork to me and then another to Jill. ‘Essential information and consent form – for the fostering. I’ve run through the contents with Jade and at her age she’ll sign the consent as well.’
I nodded and quickly flicked through the papers, which included the contact details of the social services; Jade’s mother’s address, which Jade had given as her permanent home; the names and dates of birth of Jade’s siblings; and the names and date of birth of the baby’s father, from which I quickly calculated Tyler to be only sixteen. Jill was also glancing through the paperwork.
‘Cathy,’ Rachel said after a moment, ‘I would like you to make sure Jade attends her antenatal appointments. She’s missed some in the past and they are important.’
‘Absolutely,’ I said. ‘When is the next one due?’
‘Next week,’ Rachel said. ‘She attends the Lakeview Health Centre for her antenatal care.’
‘I want Tyler to come too,’ Jade said, finally raising her eyes from the floor to look at Rachel.
‘That’s fine,’ Rachel said, ‘as long as he doesn’t miss school. You’ve got exams this year, haven’t you?’
Tyler shrugged. ‘Maybe. Dunno. I’m leaving school as soon as I can.’
‘When exactly is the appointment?’ Jill now asked.
‘Jade has the appointment card in her bag,’ Rachel said.
‘It’s in the hall. I’ll get it later,’ Jade said.
‘Make sure you tell Cathy the date in plenty of time,’ Jill said to Jade. ‘Cathy has two children and she has to work around their commitments too.’
Jade nodded sullenly, but I appreciated she had a lot to cope with and how difficult all this must be for her.
‘Jade has some of her clothes with her,’ Rachel said, moving on, ‘enough for tonight and a couple of days, but she’s hoping to collect some more of her belongings from home tomorrow. Aren’t you, Jade?’
Jade nodded.
‘Jade won’t be attending school any more,’ Rachel continued, looking at me, ‘so perhaps the two of you could go to her home tomorrow and pick up her things? Jade has a front door key if no one is in.’
‘That’s fine with me,’ I said. ‘We’ll go in my car.’
‘Will Jade’s mother be home?’ Jill asked, mindful that some parents are angry towards the foster carer when their child is taken into care.
Rachel looked at Jade, who shrugged. ‘Dunno,’ she said.
‘Jade’s mother works part time,’ Rachel said. ‘But she’s all right with me, so there shouldn’t be a problem meeting you. She’s happy for Jade to visit whenever she wants to.’
‘Are you comfortable going?’ Jill asked me.
‘Yes,’ I said. I was usually able to work with the parents whose children I fostered. However, I was becoming increasingly aware of just how different it was going to be fostering a teenager compared to a younger child; for example, children in care normally only see their parents at supervised contact, whereas Jade could go and see her mother any time. Another reminder followed quickly, as Rachel said: ‘I’ve told Jade that this placement is for her only. She can see Tyler but he is not to stay here overnight.’
Chapter Three
Awkward
‘So where can he sleep?’ Jade asked, somewhat disgruntled.
‘My mum says if I’m not staying at your place I have to go home,’ Tyler said.
‘Very sensible,’ Rachel said. ‘That solves the problem.’ Then, addressing Jill and me, Rachel explained: ‘Tyler has been sleeping at Jade’s house for some time but it was very overcrowded.’
‘No it wasn’t,’ Jade said. ‘He slept with me – in my room.’
Jill and I exchanged a glance, for it would appear that Jade’s mother had actively encouraged her seventeen-year-old daughter to sleep with her sixteen-year-old boyfriend and now she was pregnant had thrown her out.
Rachel didn’t respond to Jade’s comment but continued with the paperwork, checking through her copy and pointing out details that were relevant to me looking after Jade, while Jill and I followed on our copies. I read that Jade was the eldest of five children and she and the two elder siblings had the same surname, while the younger two had a different surname. Jade’s mother’s date of birth made her thirty-five, so she must have been eighteen when she’d had Jade. Jade’s father’s name and date of birth were given – he was the same age as Jade’s mother – but he didn’t live with Jade’s mother, and there was no contact address for him. In the section headed ‘health of young person’ it stated that Jade was pregnant – approximately thirty weeks – and her emotional and developmental health was age appropriate. Under ‘education’ it showed that Jade had gained six GCSEs the summer before and that she was part way through an A-level course, which she hoped to continue after her baby was born.
‘You mentioned that Jade might be receiving some home tuition,’ Jill asked Rachel.
‘We’ve decided to leave it until after the baby is born,’ Rachel said. ‘Jade felt she wouldn’t be able to concentrate at present with everything else.’ Which I fully appreciated, although I wondered how she would be able to concentrate on studying with a young baby to look after. ‘Perhaps you could teach Jade some home-care skills?’ Rachel asked me. ‘Basic cooking, for example, to help prepare her for when she lives independently.’
‘Yes, I’d be pleased to,’ I said, again smiling at Jade.
‘I can cook already,’ Jade said a little dourly.
‘Great. You can help me, then,’ I said lightly, throwing her another smile.
Rachel ran through the rest of the forms and then the four of us signed the last page, which formed the contract: Jade was signing to give her consent to being in care, Rachel signed as the social worker responsible, Jill signed as the representative of the fostering agency and my support social worker, and I signed to agree to the terms of looking after Jade. If I wanted to end a placement early I had to give the social services and Homefinders twenty-eight days’ notice in writing, but that hadn’t happened yet.
‘So what are you going to do this evening, then?’ Rachel asked Jade as she packed away her copy of the papers.
Jade shrugged.
‘We’ll be having dinner soon,’ I said, for I noticed it was nearly half past six.
‘That sounds good,’ Rachel said. ‘What are you going to have?’
‘Spaghetti bolognese,’ I replied.
‘Lovely. I expect you’re hungry,’ Rachel said to Jade as she closed her briefcase.
Jade shrugged. ‘Can Ty stay for dinner?’
‘That will be up to Cathy,’ Rachel said decisively.
Jade and Tyler now looked at me expectantly. ‘Yes, there’s plenty,’ I said.
‘Excellent. What time does your mother want you home?’ Rachel asked Tyler. The contrast between the man (who’d created a baby and was shortly to be a father) and the boy (whose mother wanted him home at a set time) was not lost on Jill and I saw the briefest of smiles flicker across her face.
‘After dinner, I guess,’ Tyler said easily.
‘I think we should set a time for Tyler to leave,’ Jill said. Tyler was settled so comfortably on my sofa that he looked as though he was there for the night. ‘What time do you think is reasonable?’ Jill asked.
While I wanted Jade to feel welcome in what would be her home for the next month, I thought that it could be quite disruptive to the household routine and to Adrian and Paula if Tyler was here every evening until late. ‘I have to see to my daughter, Paula,’ I said. ‘And Adrian has homework to do, so is eight o’clock on a weekday all right? Later at weekends.’
‘That seems reasonable to me,’ Rachel said. ‘And Jade needs to establish a routine.’ Then, looking at Tyler: ‘Eight o’clock it is, then, unless your mum is expecting you sooner?’ Again I felt the discrepancy between the boy and the man, although Tyler seemed unfazed.
‘She didn’t set a time,’ Tyler said.
‘OK, so we’ll say you leave here by eight o’clock and then Cathy can get on with what she has to do,’ Rachel clarified. ‘We’ll just have a look around the house and then I’ll be off.’
It’s usual for the foster carer to show the social worker and the child around the house when a child first arrives, and I stood, ready to begin the tour. As I did, two sets of footsteps could be heard scampering downstairs and along the hall, and then Paula and Adrian appeared in the sitting room and stopped dead. Perhaps they thought that Jill and Rachel had gone, for they looked surprised to see all the adults.
‘This is Adrian and Paula,’ I said, introducing them to Rachel, Jade and Tyler. Jill knew my children from having been my support social worker for many years.
‘This is Jade and her boyfriend, Tyler,’ I said to Adrian and Paula. ‘And this is Rachel, Jade’s social worker.’
‘Hi,’ Rachel said. ‘Good to meet you. Sorry to take up so much of your mother’s time. I expect you’re ready for dinner. I know I am.’
Adrian smiled politely and nodded while Paula, who was always a bit shy when first meeting people, came to stand beside me. I left Jill in the sitting room with Adrian – she was asking him how secondary school was going – and with Paula holding my hand, I began the tour of the house.
‘This is the kitchen,’ I said to Rachel, Jade and Tyler. ‘We have our meals over there.’ I pointed to the table and chairs in the dining area of the extension.
‘Very nice,’ Rachel said. Jade and Tyler stood side by side just inside the kitchen-cum-dining room, holding hands and looking very awkward, as teenagers often do.
‘Cooker, fridge-freezer and washing machine,’ I said, pointing them out. I then led the way out of the kitchen, down the hall and into the front room, which among other things contained a sofa, a small desk with the computer, a hi-fi system, and shelves of CDs, DVDs and books.
‘I expect it’s useful having more than one living room when you’re fostering,’ Rachel said.
‘Yes,’ I agreed. Then to Jade I said: ‘You can use the computer in here. I’ll show you how.’
Jade nodded but didn’t say anything.
I then led the way upstairs and showed Jade her bedroom. ‘I’m sure you’ll be comfortable in here once you’ve got your belongings with you,’ I said.
‘Yes, it’s a nice big room,’ Rachel said, following Jade and Tyler in. ‘There’s lots of space for your things. And what a nice view – overlooking the garden.’ She went over to the window.
Jade glanced towards the window but she didn’t go over; nor did she say anything. She appeared lost and overwhelmed, and I felt sorry for her. As with any child coming into care, all that had been familiar to her had suddenly vanished and was possibly gone for good. Jade had spent last night at a teacher’s house and now she was in another strange house with unfamiliar people and their unfamiliar routine.
‘Don’t worry,’ I said, touching her arm reassuringly. ‘You’ll soon feel at home.’
‘I’m not worried,’ Jade said, putting on a brave face, but she obviously was. She appeared anxious and kept nervously pulling at a loose thread on the sleeve of her jumper.
We left Jade’s room and as we went round the landing I pointed out Adrian’s, Paula’s and my bedrooms, and then we arrived at the bathroom.
‘You can have a shower or a bath,’ I said, showing Jade (and Tyler and Rachel) in.
‘You like your baths, don’t you?’ Rachel said.
‘Don’t mind,’ Jade said with a small shrug.
Having seen upstairs, we returned downstairs and into the sitting room, where Adrian was still making polite conversation with Jill. On my arrival he saw his release and immediately disappeared out of the room and upstairs, quickly followed by Paula.
‘Thanks, Cathy,’ Rachel said, picking up her briefcase. ‘I’m going now.’ Then, looking at Jade: ‘I’ll phone you tomorrow. Have a good evening.’
Jill said goodbye to Rachel and stayed in the sitting room with Jade and Tyler, while I went down the hall to see Rachel out. At the door Rachel said quietly: ‘Meryl – the teacher at Jade’s school – was planning on visiting you tonight, but I’ve told her to wait until Jade has settled in.’
‘Thank you,’ I said.
‘I’m sure she just wants to be helpful but if it gets too much let me know. It could be unsettling for Jade if she keeps popping in.’
I thanked Rachel again, said goodbye and returned to the sitting room. Jade and Tyler were once more sitting side by side on the sofa, now listening to Jill, who was telling Jade that I was a very experienced foster carer and a nice person who would look after her very well.
‘Thank you, Jill,’ I said with a small embarrassed laugh.
‘Well, it’s true,’ she said. ‘Now, if there’s nothing you need I’ll leave you good people to have your dinner.’ Then to Jade and Tyler: ‘Nice to meet you both. See you again soon.’ As my support social worker Jill would visit me regularly to make sure Jade’s needs were being met and I had everything I needed to look after her properly.
I saw Jill to the front door. ‘I’ll phone tomorrow to see how things are going,’ she said. ‘You may have to be firm when it comes to Tyler going. He’s looking very settled and remember he’s used to staying with Jade. Eight o’clock and he says goodbye.’
‘All right, I will,’ I said. Jill had a lot of experience working with teenagers and I appreciated her advice.
Having seen Jill out I returned to the sitting room. It was nearly seven o’clock and we needed to eat. ‘Are you both OK?’ I asked Jade and Tyler. ‘I’ll see where Adrian and Paula are and then I’ll make dinner. It won’t take long.’
Jade didn’t say anything but Tyler nodded. I smiled positively and, leaving the sitting room, I went upstairs.
I appreciated Adrian and Paula might feel a bit awkward fostering a teenager, and might do so for a few days, but hiding in their bedrooms wouldn’t help; they needed to come down and be sociable. I too felt a little awkward and clearly Jade and Tyler were struggling too. I found Paula in Adrian’s bedroom, where they were both playing with the robotic crab he’d had for Christmas.
‘I’m starving, Mum,’ Adrian said as soon as I walked in. ‘When will dinner be ready?’
‘Ten minutes,’ I said. ‘And while I make dinner I want you two to go downstairs and talk to Jade and Tyler. We can’t just leave them sitting there by themselves.’
‘Do we have to?’ Paula sighed.
‘Yes. It’s polite. If you feel awkward – in your own home – imagine how Jade must be feeling.’
‘Is that boy staying?’ Adrian asked.
‘Tyler. Yes, just for dinner and then he’ll be going home.’
‘When?’ Adrian asked, tersely.
‘At eight o’clock.’
‘I’ll be in bed then,’ Paula moaned.
‘Exactly, so you can come down now and talk to them. They don’t bite.’
Adrian and Paula made no move to do as I asked. ‘Now, please,’ I said more firmly.
Paula pulled a face but they both stood. Then, without their usual enthusiasm for spending time with new children, they followed me downstairs and into the sitting room. ‘Adrian and Paula have come to join you,’ I said brightly as we went in.
Tyler and Jade looked at them blankly and Adrian and Paula looked back equally blankly. Usually when we fostered younger children Adrian and Paula suggested games or activities to ‘break the ice’ and make the children feel welcome, but I realized that they now felt a bit intimated and shy.
‘Perhaps you’d all like a game of Sunken Treasure?’ I suggested. ‘It’s a game for all ages.’
‘What’s Sunken Treasure?’ Tyler asked, reasonably enthusiastically.
Seeing Tyler’s interest Adrian said: ‘I’ll get it from the cupboard.’
‘Thank you,’ I said.
Adrian went to the cupboard in the conservatory containing toys and games and returned with the large boxed game, which he set on the coffee table in front of Jade and Tyler.
‘Cor, that looks good,’ Tyler said, taking off the lid and peering in. ‘We ain’t got nothing like that at my house.’
Encouraged by Tyler’s enthusiasm and easy manner, Adrian and Paula pulled up a stool each as Tyler began removing the contents from the box: the board on which the game was played, showing brightly coloured underwater scenes in 3-D, a dice, shaker, various galleon boats and little treasure chests containing gold, sliver and pearls.
Jade shuffled to the edge of the sofa so that she too could see.
‘How do you play?’ Tyler asked.
‘You all choose a galleon,’ I said, picking up one of the little boats. ‘Then you take turns to shake the dice and move the galleon around the board, like this. If it stops over the treasure chest, the chest rises from the bottom of the ocean and attaches itself to your boat.’
‘Wow! How does it do that?’ Tyler asked, the little boy in him surfacing.
‘There’s a small magnet at the base of the boat,’ I said, turning over one of the boats to show him. ‘And another magnet in the treasure chest.’ I opened one of the chests and pointed it out. ‘Magnets attract.’
‘That’s cool,’ Tyler said, impressed.
‘The person who has the most treasure wins,’ I said. ‘But you have to watch out for the killer sharks and giant octopus; they eat you and your treasure.’ I pointed to the little models of open-mouthed sharks with rows of vicious teeth and giant octopuses with long, thick tentacles. ‘Adrian will explain the rules while I make dinner.’