Writing: B2+
Some of the words refer to other words in the text:
the pronouns ‘them’ and their’ in the second sentence refer to ‘young people’ in the first sentence
‘these campaigns’ in the third sentence refers back to the campaigns mentioned in the second sentence, and ‘that generation’ refers back to ‘young people’
the article ‘the’ in ‘the medium’, ‘the campaigns’ and ‘the young citizens’ indicates that these ideas have already been mentioned.
We can group some of the words mentioned, to show how a number of ideas are developed throughout the text. There are words related to the areas of:
youth: young people, that generation, young citizens
education: campaigns, inform, awareness, contents, fact, information channels, educating, contents, colleges, student guilds, student organizations
media: blogs, websites, medium, newspapers, posters, information channels
voting: vote, citizen, choose, representative
Visually, a space has been left between each paragraph. This is the right thing to do, although indents are also acceptable. In this short piece of writing, there was no need to have so many paragraphs. For example, the one that begins with ‘To start with’ develops the idea from the previous paragraph and should have been part of that one.
Glossary
indent (indents) N-COUNT An indent is the space at the beginning of a line of writing when it starts further away from the edge of the paper than all the other lines.
Exercise 4
Cross out the unnecessary and/or incorrect linking words in the paragraph (taken from an IELTS-type essay). Do not make any other changes.
It is widely believed that the internet is making our lives easier than they were in the past. Furthermore, the internet is used as a consultation method for solving many problems. On the one hand, many people use the internet for consulting others who are in a different location, for example, teachers, physicians and community researchers. Moreover, there are social networking sites such as Facebook to communicate with old friends, and so you can get together with them and other people you have not seen in a long time. The internet has also led to an increase in opportunities for face-to-face communication and people can talk with each other at any time and anywhere. At last, people with disabilities can use the internet to help overcome obstacles so that they have better access to education and other services.
Exercise 5
Underline the pronouns in this text and think about how they are used to connect the ideas in the text.
Internet users can get information any time they need it via their internet connection. When the internet was first introduced, its feature was to share information. As time has gone by, more functions and tools have been added. These include blogs, which allow users to share their comments and opinions, and social networks, which enable people to pass on messages quickly.
The structure of paragraphs
A paragraph normally has three parts:
1 a sentence that introduces the topic (and possibly links it to the previous paragraph)
2 a number of sentences that develop the topic (with analysis, evidence or detail)
3 a sentence that concludes the topic (or links it to the next topic/paragraph).
Have a look at some examples, where the sections have been numbered (1), (2) and (3).
Glossary
obstacle (obstacles) N-COUNT You can refer to anything that makes it difficult for you to do something as an obstacle.
(1) Corruption is the most important point to focus on, because this originates where the power is. (2) Corruption can take many forms: political, which involves corruption in a country’s legal system and police force, and economic, for example misuse of taxes and foreign aid money. (3) A country with a corrupt government is not able to develop.
(1) Another obstacle facing the developing nations today is capital flight. (2) This is the rapid movement of investments out of a country. This can be for economic reasons, such as an increase in taxes. It often also happens as a result of political problems such as internal or external wars. (3) It has a negative impact on the trust that people have in their governments, and investors tend to invest in other countries.
Tip
Did you notice how common the pattern of three is? There are three parts in an essay, three parts in an introduction, three parts in a conclusion, and three parts in a paragraph. When you plan and write your essays, the three-part structure can help you order and shape your ideas.
Connecting paragraphs
Glossary
argument (arguments) N-VAR An argument is a statement or set of statements that you use in order to try to convince people that your opinion about something is correct.
measure (measures) N-COUNT When someone, usually a government or other authority, takes measures to do something, they carry out particular actions in order to achieve a particular result.
policy (policies) N-VAR A policy is a set of ideas or plans that is used as a basis for making decisions, especially in politics, economics, or business.
When you start a new paragraph, you are indicating that the previous point is finished and you are starting something new. However, this new paragraph is not completely separate from the previous one, and you will have to indicate what the relationship is. For example, if you start with ‘Another argument in favour of calculators is …’, then the language you have chosen clearly indicates to the reader that you are discussing a different argument (‘Another’) with the same purpose (‘in favour’).
When you use a construction like ‘another argument is’, what you are doing is summing up what has been said previously and naming it (‘argument’). You are also announcing what you are going to be doing next (‘another argument’), or perhaps indicating that you are going to give more specific information (‘This argument …’).
The following are examples of words like ‘argument’, which are often used with the word ‘this’ (or ‘these’, when used in the plural) in this way.
analysis, approach, concept, context, data, definition, environment, evidence, factor, function, interpretation, issue, measure, method, period, policy, principle, procedure, process, research, response, sector, structure, theory
Here is an example of how this pattern can be used. Note that some information has been left out of the paragraphs.
The government wanted to introduce social security as part of a larger policy to improve society. […] Another important message was that they felt that the state and the individual should work together. This meant that social security was not intended to discourage people from taking responsibility for improving their lives […].
These guiding principles […].
Note that the first sentence of a paragraph will normally show how it fits in with the overall structure of your plan, and may indicate what will happen next.
Tip
Check the logical construction of your own writing by highlighting the most important sentences in each paragraph. If you just read those, would the essay make sense? If not, make changes.
For more information on the language used to introduce, develop and connect paragraphs, see Chapter 3.
Remember
Essay structure – introduction / body / conclusion. The body is likely to have a large number of well-developed and linked paragraphs.
Planning – do an initial outline based on an analysis of the essay question; a more detailed one can be done after the research.
Introduction – includes an explanation of the situation and its importance, as well as a statement of the aim of the essay and an indication of its structure.
Conclusion – includes a summary of the main ideas, a review and evaluation of the evidence, and an answer to the question.
Paragraphs have a three-part structure with their own introductory and concluding sentence(s), and analysis, evidence or detail in between; they often refer forward and backwards to other paragraphs.
Readability becomes very important in long essays. The reader needs to find the right information where they expect it; they also need to be told about the structure of the essay and find cohesive text, divided into paragraphs and signposted throughout.
Linking words need to be used in longer text; they need to be chosen carefully and used only where necessary.
3
Aims
explain the time frame, situation and certainty
define key terms and concepts
indicate the importance of the topic and organization of the essay
use organizational patterns and visuals
understand the language of conclusions
Quiz
Self-evaluation
For each statement below, circle the word which is true for you.
1 I know how to write an outline for an essay based on an analysis of the essay title. agree | disagree | not sure 2 I know what I am normally expected to include in the introduction to an essay. agree | disagree | not sure 3 I always write my introduction first. agree | disagree | not sure 4 I know what to include in the conclusion of an essay. agree | disagree | not sure 5 I know how to use signposting and cohesion to guide the reader through my essay. agree | disagree | not sure 6 I know what the parts of a paragraph usually are. agree | disagree | not sureContent and language
In Chapter 2, we discussed how your essay question can be analysed to produce an outline that shows in which section of your essay you will discuss each part. Here we look at the content and language of introductions, the main body and conclusions.
The beginning of the essay
The essay has to introduce the topic, so must start with a relatively general comment. The trick is not to over-generalize, otherwise the comment becomes meaningless. For example, the following first sentences of an essay are too vague or general.
First sentence of essay Comments Possible improvement 1 Most people hold firmly to the belief that the English language is one of the most popular languages in the world. English being ‘one of the most popular languages in the world’ is a fact, not a belief. The student wanted to use ‘hold firmly to the belief’, but this language is not right for the content. The statement also seems to be too general: it is not clear what this essay will be about. The English language is spoken as a first or second language by millions of people, and is becoming even more popular because of its use in electronic communication. 2 Nowadays, many people spend their time watching TV or surfing the internet. As in the previous example, this sentence says something that most people know, but it does not clearly introduce the topic of the essay. The word ‘nowadays’ is over-used at the beginning of essays. In the past few decades, traditional pastimes such as reading books have become less popular than technology-based activities such as watching TV and surfing the internet. 3 The need to have a higher degree has often been debated recently. The student says something that perhaps is not really true: has this really often been debated recently? It looks as if she wanted to use the language ‘has often been debated recently’, which could be said about any topic (the need to use cleaner energy, the need for more public transport, etc.). Even if it is true about the debate, the sentence is not saying much. The recent rises in tuition fees for first and higher degrees have led to sharp drops in student numbers.The following examples get it just right: they are not too general, nor too specific.
4 Globalization, a 21st century phenomenon, is having a great impact on countries, not just economically, but also culturally, educationally and socially. 5 Compared to the past we are living in an educated era, with more people attending universities and increasing numbers going abroad to study.You will have noted from the comments about examples 1–3 that it is not a good idea to memorize words or phrases (‘nowadays’, ‘has been debated’) to insert your ideas into. It is better to start from your ideas and then to think about how they are best expressed. To do this, you need to think about the time frame, the situation and the certainty.
Although you are generalizing, don’t be vague about the situation and when it happened.
If we analyse what the verbs describe in examples 1–5 above (looking at the improved versions in the column on the right for 1–3), we will find the present continuous tense (is becoming, is having, are living) in examples 1, 4 and 5, which describe ongoing processes. In examples 2 and 3 the present perfect is used, to link a past situation with the present (have become, have led). There is also an example of the present passive form (is spoken) in example 1. Notice that generalizations are unlikely to be expressed in the past tense, unless they are about historical situations.
For more information on tenses, see Chapter 5.
Notice that generalizations often use plural nouns (people, tuition fees, student numbers), and uncountable nouns, i.e. a noun that has no plural form (globalization). It would be strange to use a singular countable noun (person, student), unless it represents a larger category as in the example ‘A student needs to be able to raise thousands of pounds a year’, where the word ‘student’ does not relate to a particular student, but to ‘any student’. The sentence has the same meaning as ‘Students need to be able …’
In the original sentence in example 2, the writer states a truth, without saying what the relevance of it is for the essay. The addition of ‘technology-based activities’ in the improved version tells the reader why surfing the internet and watching TV are mentioned, especially as there is also a contrast with ‘traditional pastimes’. This adds an element of precision, even though the sentence remains general.
Precision is also present in example 4: we know which aspects of globalization the writer is going to discuss. By mentioning the four categories, the writer also indicates the structure of the essay.
You need to indicate very clearly what is fact and what is not.
The claim in (improved) example 1 is that the English language is popular, and the evidence for this is that it is spoken as a first or second language by millions of people and that it is used in electronic communication (which makes it become even more popular).
The writer of example 1 presents a fact and evidence. In example 3, we can read about a cause and its effect. These claims are strong, as evidence is provided.
When less evidence is available, it is better to be cautious and use language that expresses your degree of certainty. This can be done through adverbs (usually, often, undoubtedly, probably, unlikely), adjectives (most, some, certain) and modal verbs (can, may, might).
For more information on cautious language, see Chapters 8 and 9.
Glossary
cautious ADJ If you describe someone’s attitude, language, or reaction as cautious, you mean that it is limited or careful.
Definitions
Definitions can occur in the introduction or the main part of the essay. Key concepts are most likely to be defined in the introduction.
It is normal practice to define your key terms, but it becomes especially important to include definitions if you use the words in a meaning which is different from the usual interpretation, or if you are using one meaning when there are many.
Look at the following ways to define an important concept:
synthesis is the process of combining objects or ideas into a complex whole is commonly defined as is generally understood to refer to can be described as the process of combining objects or ideas into a complex whole is called synthesis is known as is referred to asNotice how the passive form is often used (is defined, can be described, is called, is known, is referred to). Typical mistakes that are made with the passive are forgetting the form of ‘to be’ and not using the past participle (e.g. writing define where it should be defined). Remember that passive forms have a form of ‘to be’ followed by the past participle of the verb.
Study the tables above. Then try to do Exercise 1 without looking back at the tables.
Exercise 1
Define the word ‘comprehension’ (= the act or ability to understand) in two ways: once starting the sentence with the word, and once ending the sentence with the word. Use passive forms of the verb each time.
Definitions often use relative clauses after a noun to indicate which person or which thing we are talking about, for example:
Notation is a method of recording music, which is based on naming the notes by letters and also includes ways of distinguishing the value of notes in terms of duration.
The relative pronoun that is used here is ‘which’. Other relative pronouns that are often used after a noun in this way are who, whose (which expresses possession), and that.
Exercise 2
Fill in the missing relative pronouns in the following definitions. Choose from that, which, whose and who.
1 The wings of a bird or insect are the two parts of its body________________it uses for flying.
2 A wing of an organization, especially a political organization, is a group________________is part of it and________________has a particular function or particular beliefs.
3 In a theatre, the wings are the sides of the stage________________are hidden from the audience by curtains or scenery.
4 A choir is an organized group of singers________________usually sing in church services.
5 A long, thin container________________you squeeze in order to force paste out is referred to as a tube.
If you are using a particular definition or interpretation, perhaps from a choice of many, you will need to use longer structures to explain this, and may need to include a justification of your choice. Some examples are:
Using definitions
For the purposes of this essay, I will be using Kotler’s definition of societal marketing, because of its focus on the organization’s task to meet the need of the clients and to ‘… deliver the desired satisfactions more effectively and efficiently than competitors, in a way that preserves or enhances the consumer’s and the society’s well-being.’
Although many different definitions of marketing have been suggested over the years, I will be using the one by Kotler (1994), because of.…
Throughout this essay, I will be using the word ‘cognitive’ to refer to the different types of intellectual behaviour.
In this essay, the term ‘reliability’ is used to mean …
Indicating the importance of the topic
Superlatives can be useful to indicate that the topic is a relevant one:
The following adjective and noun combinations can also be useful:
Adjective and noun combinations
an important part, a key role/factor, a great/major problem, a central area of, a common problem, an increasing need/concern, heightened awareness, rapid development, a dramatic increase, renewed/unprecedented interest, a serious effect/impact on, increasing concern