Because Of You: A blazing hot cowboy romance
‘Hello,’ she said absentmindedly into the phone. She was still focused on her meal. She couldn’t wait to slice into that beef.
‘Beth?’ The soft voice on the other end of the line snapped her attention away from dinner.
‘Kelsey. Oh, hi. I was going to call you tonight,’ Beth said, sinking into the closest chair.
‘That’s okay, I’ve beat you to it. I wanted to apologise for yesterday. I was really raw from the night before and I kinda over-reacted. So, I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me.’
It felt like a knife was twisting in Beth’s stomach. Kelsey was not the one who should be apologising. ‘No, Kels, it’s me who needs who needs to say sorry. I wasn’t completely honest with you yesterday and I really need to tell you something.’
Kelsey’s tinkling laugh came down the phone. ‘No, I think you were pretty honest in what you said to me. It got me thinking, and you’re right. I do try to please Mark all the time. I never stand up for what I believe in or fight for what I want. I never noticed that about myself before. Have I always done that?’
Beth sat at the table with her hand over her mouth. Oh God, she moaned. If she could take back yesterday she would.
‘Beth? Are you still there?’
The speech she’d prepared in the garden disappeared from her mind. She desperately tried to recall at least some of it.
‘Beth?’
‘I’m still here,’ she managed to force out. ‘You don’t need to apologise for anything at all, Kels.’
‘Yes I do,’ she said. ‘You were trying to help and all I did was snap at you and then run away like some spoiled brat. My behaviour all weekend has been horrible. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. And I’ve caused more trouble for someone who doesn’t deserve it.’
‘I think it’s safe to say that we’ve both done things this weekend we’re not proud of.’ That was sure the understatement of the year.
‘No, Beth, you don’t understand,’ Kelsey said. ‘I think I’ve ruined someone’s life. I’ve tried to take it back but now they are saying the story’s just too big. I just hope they change their minds.’
Kelsey sounded really worried but Beth was sure she was over-reacting. ‘Trust me, Kelsey, What you’ve done has been nowhere near as bad as what I’ve done. And I didn’t mean to do it,’ she rushed. She needed to get the words out before she chickened out. ‘It just sort of happened. Not that I did anything to stop it at the time. I was a willing participant. I just wish I hadn’t been so drunk…or hungover…or whatever I was. I’m so sorry Kelsey. It was an accident. A total, complete mistake.’
There was silence on the end of the phone for a moment and all Beth could hear was the sound of her own rapid breathing. She should be telling Kelsey all this in person rather than over the phone.
‘What is it you’ve done?’ Kelsey whispered. ‘Please tell me it’s not what I think it is.’
‘Kels…’
‘Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him,’ Kelsey’s voice was so quiet Beth could barely hear her.
‘I’m so sorry, Kelsey, it was an accident.’
‘An accident?!’ Her voice came thundering down the phone. ‘Crashing a car is an accident. Slipping over on ice is an accident. But how in the hell is having sex with my boyfriend an accident?’
‘But he’s no longer your boyfriend, Kelsey. You guys broke up weeks ago.’ Beth regretted her words even before she was done speaking them.
‘You are such a bitch, Beth. I hope you rot in Hell.’ Kelsey slammed the phone down so hard Beth’s ear rang in protest.
Great. Not only could she not have Mark; she felt way too guilty to go down that road, she’d now also ruined her longest friendship. If she was honest with herself, there was no way she could expect Kelsey to ever forgive her for what she did. If the shoe was on the other foot, Beth knew she would have reacted much the same way.
She looked around her kitchen. She loved this house. She’d made it into her home, and she couldn’t imagine living anywhere but on the ranch.
But she knew staying in Bassville would be torture for not only herself, but for Mark and Kelsey too. The town was so small there was no way they could avoid each other for long. Besides, they all had the same friends. She couldn’t expect them to pick her over Kelsey. She was the one in the wrong. And, because she was Kelsey’s friend, they’d blame her for the mistake more so than Mark. He was, after all, just a man, and therefore expected to behave like an ass. But she was one of the sisterhood. She should’ve known better. She was lower than low. She was a man stealer.
‘Beth?’
She could hear Helga calling her but she didn’t move from the chair.
‘What’s burning?’ Helga asked, walked into the kitchen. ‘Beth, what’s in the oven?’
‘What?’ Beth looked up distractedly, ‘Hmmm?’
‘There’s smoke coming out of the oven.’ Helga pointed to the oven where smoke was seeping out from around the door.
‘Oh My God!’ She jumped up, knocking over her chair and ran to the oven and opened the door. Smoke billowed out. Sitting in the middle of the rack was her roast beef, totally shrivelled up and ruined. Instead of being the juicy piece of meat she was hoping for she was looking at a lump of charcoal. She dumped it onto the counter and looked at the blackened mess.
It was the last straw. Tears she’d been holding back since she’d got off the phone leaked out her eyes and coursed down her cheeks, dripping onto the hot glass of the open oven door.
Helga reached around her to shut the oven door and turned it off. She gave Beth a hug and patted her on the back. ‘Oh, Beth, it’s okay. I’ll make us some sandwiches. It’s no big deal. Here, sit down.’ Helga led her over to the table and gently pushed her toward the chair she’d been sitting in moments before.
Beth sat down hard on the chair, jarring herself back to reality. Her menu folder sat open on the table. She slammed it shut, got up and shoved it unceremoniously into the back of the cupboard where it belonged.
At the back, out of sight.
She should just throw the damn thing out. She couldn’t even manage to cook something as basic as roast beef, mashed potatoes and damn vegetables! She wasn’t fit to be a chef. She wasn’t good enough and she never would be.
She swiped angrily at the tears still pouring from her eyes. Suck it up, Beth, you’re just not good enough. It was time to face facts. She was someone who loved cooking but she could never be a proper cook.
She sat back down at the table, filled her wine glass to the brim and took a big drink. Is this what her life came to? A glorified maid? She looked at Helga, who was cleaning up the mess she’d made and for the first time since meeting her, she resented her presence. She just wanted to throw Helga out. And that frightened her. Who had she become? Helga was lovely. Here she was, washing the dishes and cleaning up the evidence of Beth’s fuck-up.
She downed the rest of her wine and refilled her glass. ‘Helga, can you get my tablet for me, please?’
Helga turned from the full sink, ‘Sure thing, honey.’ She dried her dripping hands and left the room to find it.
While she was gone, Beth laid her head down on the table and closed her aching eyes. They were so raw from crying they felt like she had broken glass as lids.
‘Here it is, Beth, oh!’ Helga said as she rushed back into the room. ‘Are you sleeping?’ she whispered as she crept closer.
‘No,’ Beth moaned, rocking her head back and forth on her folded arms. ‘I just wish I was dead.’
‘Oh, Beth, it’s not that bad, I swear.’ Helga slid into the chair next to her and patted her arm.
‘Helga,’ Beth croaked.
‘Yes?’
‘Please go away. I’m s…sorry, but I…I c…can’t…’
Beth felt Helga rise from her chair. ‘Sure,’ she said quietly, ‘I’ll be in my room if you need me. Goodnight, Beth.’
Beth waited until she heard the steps creaking as Helga went up to her room before she found the strength to open her eyes and lifted her head. Her tablet was there beside her on the table.
Beth dragged it closer to her and flipped the cover open. She typed Culinary Schools Canada into the search engine.
Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts jumped out at her and she clicked through to their website. It was gorgeous, but somehow that just made her feel even worse. She read through all the information she could find about the professional programs. Six months of pure cooking pleasure. And then she clicked into the fees. Holy Shit!
Eighteen thousand dollars! She slumped further into her chair, disappointment washing over her. There was no way she could afford that. No way at all. Not to mention the extra charges of twenty five hundred for uniform, toolkit, textbooks and registration, let alone accommodation. It was not possible.
She sat there for a long time thinking about how she could come up with that kind of money. The money she made from the guest house was put back into the ranch. Since the film company rented the land, the ranch was doing better financially, but it wasn’t until the final payment came through that they would really be out of the woods. And as good friends that she and Helga had become, she couldn’t ask her for that kind of money. But how else was she supposed to gain experience?
She glanced the remains of her dinner on the counter.
Obviously much-needed experience.
Except…maybe she could volunteer with the catering company looking after the film crew. She’d met them when she brought the German chocolate cake in three weeks ago. The lady in charge seemed really nice, even if the other chef was slightly standoffish.
She got up from the table and poured the rest of her wine down the sink. She needed to be ready for tomorrow.
Chapter 6
‘Hi, Bob,’ Beth waved at the older man manning the gateway into the film set.
He waved back at her and opened the gate. ‘How are you today, Beth? Still working out there on the ranch?’
She rolled to a stop beside him. ‘Of course. We’re all getting ready for the filming to be moved out there. We’re really very lucky they decided to shoot in town first.’
‘Well, they’ve certainly been busy in here. Did you know every single person I’ve let through these gates has commented on your sister’s painting inside the town hall? You should be very proud of Rachel. I just wish she was here to see it.’ Bob smiled kindly at her, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
Beth knew people still had a hard time knowing whether or not if they should mention Rachel to her. That was one of the awful things about death. No one wanted to talk about the people who’ve passed.
‘Thank you, Bob. I’ll be sure to tell Mom you said so. She’ll be so pleased. And we are all really proud of Rachel, that painting is amazing. I’m so glad it’s there for everyone to enjoy.’
‘Well it’ll be famous now for sure, with it being featured in the movie and all.’
‘Rachel would have loved that,’ Beth smiled, thinking about the reaction her sister would have had knowing her art would be in a movie starring her favourite actress. ‘And how’s Jill, Bob? Is she feeling better?’
‘Yes, she sure is. She got the all-clear from the doctor last week too. Hopefully they’ve gotten all the cancer this time. I’ll tell her you asked. She’ll be so pleased.’ Bob stepped out of the way and waved Beth through the gate.
‘See you later, Bob,’ she called through her open window as she drove by.
She parked outside of Helga’s trailer, next to her new SUV.
Beth had meant to get here earlier in the morning. She’d wanted to get here at day break when she knew the crew kitchen would be prepping for the day, but Ben called around this morning and she’d spent longer talking to him than she meant to. And now she was running late.
She wasn’t sure if now was a good time to go and ask for a job. It had the potential to change her life and she was terrified they’d say no to her; she didn’t have a backup plan.
She knew it was time she stepped out of the shadows. Life was too short to live on the side lines. If she could get this job she would hopefully be so busy she’d be able to avoid Kelsey and Mark at least until the filming finished and by then she’d have enough experience to get a proper job in a kitchen somewhere far from Bassville and the drama she’d found herself in.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled the door handle toward her and shoved open the door of her old beat-up truck. She swung her cowboy boot-clad feet onto the pavement and, with a straight back, strode across the lane to the centre of the town square where the portable kitchen trailer and marquee were set up.
With a confidence she didn’t feel she walked up the steps of the trailer and knocked on the closed door.
She heard shouting coming from the inside and took a step back as the voice grew closer. Seconds later, the door flew back on its hinges.
‘Oh, it’s you, Cake Girl,’ the man jeered at her. He was intimidating, standing there in his white chef’s jacket. Beth thought he looked too tall and thin to be a chef but she recognised him from when she brought the cake when the crew had first arrived.
‘Hi.’ She gave a small wave. A small wave? What was wrong with her? She’d even wriggled her fingers at him. Ugh. She cringed at her own nervousness.
‘Hi? You’ve come here to say hi? What would make you think that I have time to say hi to you?’ he all but snarled at her.
She straightened her back at his condescending tone and took a menacing step towards him. She was pleased he took a small step back. ‘I’m here to see Sheila. Is she inside?’ Beth tried peering around him into the trailer, but he moved and blocked her view.
‘No.’
She arched an eyebrow at the vile man. ‘And do you know where I can find her?’
‘No.’
Really? Were they going to play this game? She took a big, calming breath, it probably wasn’t smart to antagonise the man she would (hopefully) be working with. She plastered a bright smile on her face and tried again.
‘My name is Beth.’ She held out her hand to him but he didn’t make any move to shake it so she dropped it back to her side. ‘I would like to talk to Sheila this morning. Do you know when she will be back?’
‘No.’ He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms across his chest.
‘Harrumph.’
‘If that’s all you want, Cake Girl…?’ He stepped back into the trailer and shut the door in her face.
She stared at the closed door. ‘Well I never.’ She stalked down the steps and walked back into the adjacent marquee. In the far corner, away from the actors and extras getting their last-minute breakfasts, was Sheila. She was sitting at a table by herself, reading through some papers, jotting down notes every now and then.
Beth watched her for a moment until she realised she was being slightly creepy and was gaining strange looks from the extras sitting at the table to her right.
‘Hi, Sheila?’ she said when she approached.
Sheila looked up from her notes at her, the look on her face clearly conveying that she had been lost in her work and now was having trouble coming back to the present.
‘Oh,’ Sheila said as she stood up, ‘Beth, isn’t it? How nice to see you again. Come join me. Would you like a coffee?’ She waved vaguely at the coffee carafe against the tent wall.
‘Oh no, I’ve had three cups already this morning. I was wondering if I could have a few moments of your time.’ Beth sank into the chair offered and tried to stifle her nerves.
Sheila looked at Beth with a kind smile. Her blood-red painted lips and perfect makeup were a contrast to her dark hair pulled severely up off her face in a ponytail and her spotless white chef’s jacket.
Beth toyed with the plastic tablecloth. ‘I was wondering if you needed help in the kitchen.’ She looked up from where her hands were bunching the tablecloth and tried to convoy her desire without coming across too pathetic. She took a deep breath and rushed ahead. It was now or never. ‘I’ve looked into becoming a chef but, honestly, the cost associated with that isn’t something I can afford right now and I thought that you may need help so then I thought that perhaps you might need help with all the people you need to feed and then I thought it could be a win-win for both of us.’ Beth snapped her jaw shut with an audible click. She was babbling. This was not exactly the way she envisioned asking for a job.
Shelia smiled at her.
Beth didn’t want her sympathy. She wanted a job. ‘I can cook for large numbers. At branding every year we cater for more than one hundred people.’
‘After you brought in a cake big enough to feed the entire crew and production team, I have no qualms about your ability to cater for large numbers of people. I know that’s not an easy feat, but that was only one cake and my understanding is that branding is only once a year? There is a huge difference in doing it one day and doing it for months at a time.’ Sheila leaned towards her. I would love to offer you a job, Beth, Lord knows I always need extra help.’
‘But?’ Beth knew there was a ‘but’ coming. She held her breath and waited.
‘You’re working for Miss Hansen. I can tell you now that looking after her is way more important than helping me in the trailer. You need to keep her happy and content. Besides, there’s not a lot of room in the trailer and Jerry’s not pleasant in close quarters, I can tell you,’ she said with a humourless chuckle.
Beth felt her one hope slipping through her fingers. She really wanted this job. ‘You don’t need to pay me,’ she said hurriedly, ‘It’s not the money I’m after, although I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t be welcome. I want my own café or restaurant one day. Cooking is something that I love doing and I can’t imagine not cooking, you know what I mean? I just want to become better. Seeing the food you put out for all the crew is mind-blowing. I want to be able to do what you do. I really want to learn. I swear, I’ll keep out of Jerry’s way, at least as much as possible, and Helga won’t mind, I’m sure, I just need to make sure there’s dinner ready for her when she gets home. How hard would that be?’
Sheila looked at her with such intensity that Beth had to fight with every bit of her being not to start wiggling in her chair under the scrutiny. ‘All right,’ Sheila finally said, ‘I’ll let you help me, but only if you can still keep up with your duties to Miss Hansen. Therefore, I only want you here for lunch prep and clean up, which usually runs from 9 a.m. to around 4. But, Beth, I’m warning you now, this is a tough job and the level of stress is unbelievable.’
Beth’s heart was in her throat throughout this exchange, but she nodded at everything Sheila said and tried to smother the impulse to grin like an idiot. She clenched her hands together in her lap instead and continued nodding gravely.
‘Go talk to Miss Hansen and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.’ Shelia glanced up at the clock and gathered her papers together, then got up from the table and shook Beth’s hand.
Beth sat still and watched Sheila walk back to her kitchen before she slowly got up and went back to her truck. It wasn’t until she’d shut the door and was sitting all alone inside the cab that she let out a whoop of celebration.
Chapter 7
Beth was so excited to start in the kitchen that she didn’t sleep that night. It wasn’t until just before her alarm went off that she dozed off. Now she was running late.
She waved quickly at Bob at the gate but didn’t stop even long enough to say hi.
She pulled in next to Helga’s SUV, smoothed her hair, straightened her shirt and jumped out of the truck. She ran across the road towards the kitchen.
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