United States of Love

Chapter Three

Anna was thankful that the last group of foreign exchange students hadn't wanted to ask any questions at the end of their guided tour of Chichester Cathedral. Spurred on by the thought of a chilled glass of wine at the Fish and Fly tonight with her sister-in-law, she picked up her bag and headed towards the main entrance.

It was then that she saw him. He was just standing there, grinning at her obvious shock. For a moment she thought her legs would give way.

‘Hey,’ Mark murmured, as if stroking her with the word.

Anna stared back, went to speak but her mouth and throat had completely dried up. What the hell was he doing here? He was still as good looking as the day he had left, all six foot of him. His blonde hair, the tips now white from the LA sun, tanned complexion and Wedgwood blue eyes. The teeth, however, weren't quite as Anna remembered. Now they seemed whiter, and possibly straighter.

‘Hi,’ she finally managed to say.

‘You're looking well. You cut your hair.’

Anna's hand automatically went to her now short hair. Her break-up haircut. Of course, Mark hadn't seen it. She knew he preferred long hair, that was part of the satisfaction of getting it cut.

‘It's nice,’ he continued as he took a step closer, his arms slightly open.

Anna stiffened. How do you greet your estranged husband? A full-on embrace? Definitely not. Handshaking? Too formal. Maybe a quick hug and an air kiss. Before she could decide, Mark was upon her. Hands holding hers, moving in closer for a kiss on the cheek, a quick hug, before looking directly into her eyes.

‘It's good to see you,’ he said.

For a moment neither spoke. It was Anna who broke the gaze first and took not only a physical step back, but a mental one too. She didn't like the way Mark could almost put a spell on her, even after everything that had happened. She needed to pull herself together. He may still be able to melt her with his looks but she needed to remember what was underneath.

‘What are you doing here?’ She hoped she sounded more confident than she felt.

‘Came to see you, of course.’

‘No, here. How did you know I'd be here? Why didn't you phone? Does Luke know you're back?’ Her mind was on overload. As the questions came tumbling out like an upended jar of marbles, she was barely able to keep up with her thoughts.

‘Hey, hey, slow down,’ Mark gave her a small grin. ‘One question at a time.’

‘Well?’

‘I called at the house. Spoke to Luke.’

‘Oh God, Mark, why didn't you wait for me before you saw him? I could have warned him in advance.’

‘I don't think you have to warn my own son about me.’

She ignored the edge in his voice. ‘You know what I mean.’

‘Yeah, I do. Anyway, he was delighted to see me, as it happens. He told me where to find you.’

‘And your reason for coming back?’

‘Didn't know I needed one. But seeing as you asked, I thought I'd come over and see you and Luke. I thought I could spend some time with him.’ He flashed a boyish grin at her. ‘Thought I would surprise you.’

‘You thought a lot of things,’ said Anna before walking out through the glass doors. Like a pit pony coming out into daylight, she squinted as she was momentarily struck by the brightness. She popped her sunglasses on. She could hear Mark's footsteps quicken to catch up with her, falling in next to her as she hurried across the flagstones, up the steps, past the statue of St Richard, around the bell tower and down the path that ran along the side of the cathedral.

‘Where are you staying?’ she asked, without breaking her stride or looking at him.

‘Err, well, there's a bit of a problem there. Everywhere's really busy. I didn't decide to come until the last minute so didn't make any arrangements.’

‘Unfortunate.’

‘I thought I could stay with you. At the house,’ he said casually.

‘Stay with me?’ echoed Anna, stopping dead. They were at the Market Cross in the centre of Chichester, where the four pedestrian roads met. A great meeting spot, a favourite with teenagers, and today foreign exchange students in particular. Anna could hear the gabble of French and Spanish, mixed in with the English voices of other tourists and shoppers. She took off her sunglasses and looked at Mark. Was he being serious?

‘It will give me a chance to spend some quality time with Luke,’ said Mark, a defensive tone creeping in. ‘I haven't seen him in ages.’

Anna bristled. ‘A whole year.’

‘I do my best,’ said Mark lamely, ‘but let's not get into all that now. I'm here to try and make up for lost time. Come on, it'll be fine.’

‘I don't think it's a good idea. I haven't got enough room anyway.’

‘I can kip on the sofa, not a problem,’ replied Mark Then winking, said, ‘Failing that, I'm sure we could both still share the same bed, in a purely platonic way of course.’

‘There must be a B&B somewhere, or what about a Travelodge?’ said Anna, choosing to ignore the last comment. Replacing her sunglasses, relieved that her feet responded, she headed down East Street towards home.

‘Come on, Anna. What's the big deal? Besides, you know Luke will be really pleased if I stay with you and him.’

‘You can't just waltz back into our lives, acting like everything is hunky-dory,’ said Anna, looking straight ahead, still walking. ‘You haven't exactly been the greatest advertisement for fatherhood. The occasional phone call or sometimes an email.’

‘I was hoping you'd be a bit more understanding.’ There was a coolness in his voice. ‘I didn't want to have to force you to agree but you seem to be forgetting one tiny detail. It is actually my house. I don't think you've got a lot of choice. I am entitled to stay in my own home, you know.’

‘Your house, but my home. It’s never been your home. You bought it for me and Luke. No, you’re not staying. In fact, let’s go back into town and find you a B&B.’

‘You’ll have to pay then. I can’t afford it. Money’s a bit tight.’

‘Money’s a bit tight yet you’ve managed to afford a flight here! Don’t give me that, Mark. You’re not broke and you’re not staying with me.’

‘Thing is, my case is already there. Let’s go and get it and tell Luke you’re kicking me out.’

She knew that he was fully aware she didn’t have the heart to do it, not because she felt sorry for him, but because Luke would be hurt. Anna let out a sigh and ground to a halt.

‘You're such a shit at times.’ She paused before finally agreeing. ‘Okay, but you're on the sofa.’

‘That's my girl. You know it makes sense.’ He had the effrontery to grin and then hug her. An embrace that he held just a moment too long for her liking. ‘Come on then, let's get home. I'm starving. What's for tea?’

‘You're letting him do it to you again,’ grumbled Zoe. Anna could hear the irritation in her voice over the phone. Zoe was more than just the wife of Anna's brother, she had become a friend and confidante over the years, especially so when Anna's marriage was in its darkest hour.

‘I don't have a lot of choice,’ said Anna in a low voice, looking over her shoulder to make sure her bedroom door was shut properly.

‘You're letting him take control. Christ, he's only been back for ten minutes and already he's calling the shots.’

‘It's not like that, honestly,’ protested Anna, dropping her skirt and blouse into the linen bin. ‘He's Luke's father, I can't get in the way of that. Hang on one sec.’ She put the phone on the bed as she quickly pulled on a fresh t-shirt from the drawer. ‘Okay, I'm back.’

‘Well, don't pretend you're happy about him staying,’ said Zoe.

‘I'm not. Look, I'd better go, I've left him downstairs while I've nipped up to get changed out of my work clothes. I'm really sorry about tonight.’

‘That's all right. It's karaoke night at the pub, so we won't be missing much.’

‘I'd say we've had a lucky escape then,’ said Anna, as she tucked the phone under her chin and wriggled into her jeans.

‘Look, you do what you feel is best, but please don't let Mark walk all over you. Do it because you want to, not because he wants you to,’ said Zoe. Her voice softened. ‘All I'm saying is to be on your guard. You know what a sweet-talking charmer he can be.’

Having had a rather restless night's sleep, Anna woke early and tiptoed downstairs. Mark was still fast asleep on the sofa but she was surprised to find Luke already up and sitting at the kitchen table.

‘Morning.’ Anna dropped a kiss on top of her son’s head. ‘You okay? Thought you’d still be tucked up in bed, fast asleep.’ She pushed the kitchen door closed and spoke softly so as not to disturb Mark.

Luke shrugged. ‘Couldn’t sleep.’

Anna filled the kettle and flicked it on to boil. ‘Are you okay with your dad being here?’ She took a seat next to him so they could speak quietly.

‘Yeah, ’course I’m pleased to see him. It just feels a bit odd.’

‘He’s been away for a year now, it’s bound to feel a bit strange him being around.’ Anna could identify with that feeling. It felt quite surreal last night as the three of them sat around the kitchen table sharing a Chinese takeaway.

‘He seems different,’ continued Luke. ‘A bit more interested in things, maybe.’

‘It’s been just you and me for a long time now, I suppose it’s bound to feel a bit odd, but it’s good he’s taking an interest in what you’ve been doing, isn’t it?’

Luke nodded and gave his mum a small smile. ‘Yeah. I mean, even when Dad was still living with us, it was almost like he wasn’t. Even then it was just, like, me and you. It was always you who gave me lifts, always you who came to parents’ evenings, sports days, that sort of thing. Dad was always too busy.’

Anna nodded. She couldn’t really deny it. Mark’s involvement with Luke had been sporadic. He was there when it suited him and him alone. More times than she cared to remember, she had felt like a single parent. When Mark had decided to move to America, it hadn’t really changed anything. Her and Luke had carried on as they were.

‘I don’t know how long your dad is back for,’ began Anna. She didn’t want Luke getting his hopes up that Mark would be around for any length of time. ‘Just try to take a day at a time with him. He may have to go back for work or something, you know that, don’t you?’

Luke gave wry smile. ‘It’s all right, Mum, I know what you’re trying to say.’

‘Do you?’

‘I know I can’t depend on him totally, not at the moment anyway,’ replied Luke, slowly spinning his mobile round on the table with his finger. ‘But I want to give him the chance. You never know, things may be better now.’

Anna slipped her arm around Luke’s shoulder and gave him a squeeze. ‘Okay, just don’t get your hopes too high, that’s all I’m saying.’

The sound of raised voices and shrieking seeped out through the front door as Anna stood on the doorstep, waiting for her knock to be answered.

‘Morning, Titch,’ smiled Nathan, opening the door and standing to one side so she could come in.

‘Morning, Lofty.’ It was a joke they had shared since childhood.

At nearly six feet tall, her brother Nathan took after their father with his athletic physique, fine-tuned by his career in fitness training. Anna, on the other hand, at five feet two, with a small petite frame and waiflike in her appearance, took after their more delicate mother.

‘Sounds fun in here this morning.’ Anna headed towards the kitchen where the noise of squabbling children seemed to be reaching fever pitch. ‘Morning everyone,’ she said as she poked her head round the door.

‘I don't want Coco Pops,’ whined Alex, one half of Nathan's seven-year-old twin boys. ‘I want Boulders.’

‘Just eat them now,’ sighed Zoe as she held a warmed bottle of milk in Emily's mouth with one hand, and with the other began pouring another bowl of Coco Pops for Jake, the other half of the duo. She glanced up as Anna walked in. ‘Well, good morning to you. What are you doing here so early?’ Then with a sudden anxious look on her face, ‘Everything all right?’

‘Fine, absolutely fine,’ said Anna reassuringly. She took the box of cereal from Zoe and finished pouring them into the bowl. ‘Here you go, Jake. Where's the milk?’

Jake wasn't paying attention, instead embarking on a tug-of-war with his three-year-old brother, Henry. Jake wanted the milk, but so did Henry. Giving the carton one final tug, Jake managed to pull the milk free from Henry's grasp. The momentum took Jake by surprise and the milk flew out of his hand, splashing all over the table and sending a cup of tea into Zoe's lap.

‘Oh, for God's sake!’ Zoe cried. ‘That's so naughty, look what you've done!’

Baby Emily began screaming in protest at having her breakfast whipped away as Zoe dropped the bottle while trying, and failing, to avoid the tea.

‘Hey! Hey! Hey! Boys!’ commanded Nathan as he strode across the kitchen. ‘That's enough.’

The boys exchanged a look and immediately sat quiet, as did Henry. Nathan picked up the bottle of milk and ran it under the tap to clean the teat before quickly popping it back into Emily's mouth. Peace.

‘Could have done with you down here five minutes earlier,’ muttered Zoe, simultaneously trying to mop up the milk on the table and sponge out the tea from her dressing gown. ‘I expect you've got to rush off to work now.’

‘Here, Zoe, let me clean that up,’ insisted Anna. ‘You sort yourself out.’

‘So how's your house guest?’ asked Zoe as she dabbed at the tea stain.

‘We had a Chinese last night and then he pretty much fell asleep. Jet-lagged. Left him asleep on the sofa this morning.’

‘I think you're asking for trouble,’ grumbled Nathan, looking at his watch. ‘Oh Christ, I've got to go. I'm going to be late for my client. We've got a five-k run this morning. Here, Zoe, take Emily.’

‘Always rushing off,’ complained Zoe, lifting Emily from Nathan's shoulder. She popped a kiss on her daughter's head and put her back in her baby chair. ‘You sit there, darling. Mummy's got to sort out those brothers of yours. Daddy's clearing off again, just when I could do with his help. Perfect.’

Anna glanced at Nathan who gave a small shake of his head, tension etched in his face.

‘I'll be back at lunchtime. Bye, love.’ He went to kiss Zoe but she turned away, busying herself with filling the kettle.

‘Right. Fine.’

Anna waited until she heard the front door close. ‘I'll make the tea, Zoe, you sit there for a bit. Is everything all right?’

Zoe looked thoughtfully out of the window for a moment before answering. ‘The official party line is yes, everything is fine. Nathan's personal training business is really taking off. I'm busy looking after the children and the house, sipping coffee with girlfriends and flicking through glossy home furnishing magazines.’ Zoe let out a big sigh.

‘And unofficially?’ prompted Anna.

‘Unofficially, Nathan's working all the hours God sends to keep a roof over our heads so I don't have to go back to work. We hardly see each other. I just feel so tired all the time, it's a struggle to do anything.’ She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘I am a complete wreck, suffering from sleep deprivation, who can just about manage to pull on my baggy tracksuit and tie my hair in a ponytail.’

‘Is it really that bad?’

‘Most of the time. When you cancelled last night my first thought was, oh good, I don't have to bother getting all done up, I can just have a bath and go to bed. I was asleep by nine.’

Normally, Zoe was upbeat and positive but since Emily had been born, she had seemed less so, thought Anna as she looked at her sister-in-law. Her eyes looked heavy and the black circles underneath them were highlighting the bags that were beginning to become part of her daily feature.

‘It's natural to feel a bit run-down. You only had a baby four months ago.’

‘Some days I don't even want to get up. I feel like it's Groundhog Day most of the time.’ Zoe pulled her dressing gown further around her, retying the belt. ‘When Nathan gets in all I want to do is go to bed to sleep.’

Anna sensed that a ‘pull yourself together’ team talk wouldn’t help Zoe at this precise moment. A more practical approach would probably be best, Anna thought. In her head she began to formulate a plan of action.

Chapter Four

Anna was convinced Mark was up to something but she couldn't for the life of her think what it was. She had woken up on Sunday morning to the smell of bacon and eggs cooking. Mark had made brunch for all three of them, something hitherto unheard of. Then, later, they had wandered down to the Fish and Fly pub and sat out in the courtyard garden sharing a bowl of chips. She had a glass of wine, while Luke nursed a coke. The conversation up until then had been easy-going, mostly involving Luke: his schoolwork, his band and his GCSEs that were looming in a couple of months. On the whole, it had been okay until Mark took a phone call. He had moved out of earshot, leaving her to watch him pace the car park with animated gestures. That was thirty minutes ago, and ever since he seemed agitated and restless, drumming his fingers or tapping his foot.