Bedlam

Valkyrie roamed the halls of Corrival Academy, listening to the voices that rumbled behind the classroom doors. She wondered how differently she’d have turned out if this place had been around when she was a teenager. Maybe it would have steered her clear of the trouble that had lain ahead of her. Maybe it would have made things worse. Maybe she would have made some friends her own age. That would have been weird.

She’d tried to get Skulduggery to come with her to talk to Omen while they waited for Fletcher to become available. He’d tilted his head, told her he had someone else to talk to, but wouldn’t tell her who, and strode away.

She’d shrugged and walked in the opposite direction. For all she knew, he didn’t have anyone to talk to and he was just being mysterious. Probably hiding in a toilet cubicle somewhere, waiting for the time to pass.

The thought amused Valkyrie for a brief moment, because the truth was she was quietly happy that he’d gone off.

There were a lot of things she hadn’t got round to telling him yet, but the idea that she should let him know about her upcoming meeting with Caisson was pulling on her thoughts.

But no – as awful as it was to keep something from him, she couldn’t risk him scaring Caisson away. There was a part of Valkyrie that wanted to spring a trap on him herself – having Caisson in shackles would bring Abyssinia to her knees – but if there was even the slightest chance that meeting with Caisson could offer a solution to everything that had been going on …

Besides, as Dusk had mentioned, Caisson wasn’t actually an enemy. As far as Valkyrie knew, Caisson had done nothing wrong. In fact, he could conceivably be labelled a hero. He did kill Mevolent all those years ago, after all.

So she was going to keep it a secret, for just a little while longer. She’d tell Skulduggery afterwards. He’d understand – she was sure of it.

Militsa had told her where to go, so when the bell rang she was standing right outside Omen’s classroom. They came out, the chattering youth, and their eyes widened as they passed her. Some stared in wonder, others in fear.

Yeah, she could understand that.

And then Omen was there, standing in front of her. He’d grown taller since she’d seen him last.

“Happy birthday,” she said.

He looked puzzled. “Thank you?”

“I was just passing so I thought I’d drop by, see how you’re doing.”

“You … you dropped by to see me?”

“Well, we’re waiting until Fletcher – that’s Mr Renn to you – can take us somewhere, but yeah, I came to see you while I wait. Is that OK?”

“Sure,” Omen said. “I’m just … surprised.”

“Why? We’re friends, aren’t we?”

He blinked. “Are we?”

“Aren’t we?”

“I mean, yes, OK, we can be friends, sure.”

“Good.” They started walking. The crowds parted for them. “So how are things?”

“Great,” Omen said. “Yeah, great. Just … great.”

“Girlfriends? Boyfriends?”

“Neither.”

“Pets?”

“None.”

“You getting nervous about the exams?”

“They’re not till June.”

“You should do what I did – get a reflection to do the studying for you and then absorb all the information afterwards. Or just get the reflection to sit the exams.”

“Yeah, that’d be cool. But we’re not allowed. They have ways of stopping reflections from helping us with that stuff.”

“So you have to do all the work yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that sucks.”

“It really does.”

They walked on.

“How’s Never?” Valkyrie asked.

“Good. Spending a lot of time with Auger and the others.”

“A good Teleporter is hard to find,” she said. “Do you ever join them on their adventures?”

Omen gave a little smile. “No. That’s not for me, I don’t think.”

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. “This is a change.”

“I just don’t think I’m any good at it, really. I’m not like Auger, and I’m not like you. You guys are special, and determined, and all those cool things, and I’m just … ordinary.”

“Nothing wrong with being ordinary, Omen.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So,” Valkyrie said, figuring she’d skipped round the subject long enough, “any plans?”

“Plans?”

“To go away anywhere.”

“Like holiday plans? Um, no. It’s the school term, and …”

“Of course,” said Valkyrie. “Of course. Hey, can you do me a favour? Can you stay out of trouble?”

“Sorry?”

“Trouble,” she said. “If you could stay out of it, that would be great.”

“What trouble am I in?”

“None,” she said.

“So … what trouble am I going to be in?”

She laughed. “None! Wow, you are paranoid!”

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking me to do.”

Valkyrie turned to him. “OK, look. There’s something going on. A case. It’s got something to do with America, or, at the very least, Americans.”

He looked doubtful. “Do you need my help?”

“No. In fact, we need the opposite.”

“You need my … hindrance?”

“We need you to stay out of it.”

This was puzzling Omen. That was plain to see. “But I’m not in it,” he said. “I don’t know anything about it. This is the first I’m hearing of it. I don’t even know what it is.”

“I realise that this might be confusing.”

“Oh, good. I was worried.”

“But I need you to promise me.”

“I … I promise,” he said. “Can I ask a question, though?”

“No.”

“Just one.”

“If you know anything at all about it,” Valkyrie said, “telling you might involve you, and we don’t want that, do we?”

“I suppose not.”

“You just focus on having a boring, ordinary few weeks, and I’ll explain it all to you when it’s over, deal?”

“I … suppose so.”

She smiled. Finally, she’d done something right. “OK then, buddy. You’d better get back to class.”

“School’s over.”

“Oh,” she said. “Don’t you usually have detention, or something?”

He sagged. “Yeah,” he said, and trudged off.

Valkyrie knocked on the staffroom door.

Militsa opened it, and grinned. “Well, this is a lovely surprise! My girlfriend’s come to pick me up from work!”

Valkyrie winced. “Actually, I’m here to see Fletcher.”

“No!” Militsa gasped, clutching her heart. “Mr Renn! Are you trying to sneak away with my woman?”

“I’ll win her back if it’s the last thing I do!” Fletcher warbled from somewhere Valkyrie couldn’t see.

Militsa grinned again, and gave Valkyrie a peck on the cheek. “He’ll be with you in a second,” she said. “I’ve got some students that need extra tutoring, though, so I shall see you tomorrow, my petal.”

“Yes, you will,” said Valkyrie, giving her a squeeze before she let her walk away.

The door opened further and Fletcher stood there with his ridiculous hair. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey.”

“Haven’t seen you in a while. Is it just you?”

Valkyrie shook her head. “Skulduggery will be here once he’s stopped being mysterious.”

“Fair enough,” Fletcher said, ushering her into the otherwise empty staffroom. “You want anything? We’re out of tea, but I can make you a coffee.”

“Ha, no thanks. I’ve heard about the coffee here. So how are things going? How’s life?”

“Ticking along,” he said. “And actually, now that you’re here … I have a question.”

“OK.”

He hesitated. “So … we dated.”

“Yes, we did.”

“We had fun.”

“Loads of fun.”

“You were my first serious girlfriend.”

“And you were my first serious boyfriend.”

“It didn’t end too well.”

“This is true.”

“You kind of cheated on me.”

“Not my proudest moment.”

“With a vampire.”

“Which turned out to be a huge mistake.”

Fletcher nodded. “It’s good of you to acknowledge that.”

“Haven’t we been over this, though?” Valkyrie asked. “I’m pretty sure I apologised about a million times.”

“Three times,” Fletcher corrected.

“Is that all?”

“I counted.”

“Three times seems … less than I remember.”

“Well, that’s how many it was.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” She smiled. “I feel like you’re skirting round a subject, however, and it’s not about Caelan the sulky vampire.”

“Did I, um … did I turn you gay?”

Valkyrie laughed. Really, really laughed. She hadn’t laughed like that in a long time.

“No,” she said when she’d finished. “No, you didn’t, you muppet.”

“Because you never indicated that you were, you know, interested in girls when we were dating.”

“I don’t see why I would have.”

“Well, yeah,” said Fletcher, “but … like, is this a new thing? I mean, I’m thrilled for you, I really am. Militsa is so cool and so, so nice. I’m happy you’re happy, basically. But did you … was there an awakening or …?”

“Wow,” said Valkyrie. “An awakening.”

“I don’t really know what I’m trying to say.”

“Do you want me to sit you down and go through it all?”

Fletcher brightened. “Would you?”

“No,” said Valkyrie. “I liked boys. And I appreciated how girls looked, but they never really registered with me in that way until I got a bit older.”

“So there was no big bombshell moment when you realised?”

“Not really. Just a growing certainty.”

“And is Militsa your first—”

“Not going to go into too much detail, Fletch.”

“Right, yes, of course. Boundaries.”

She smiled. “I have no boundaries, you should know that by now. But I’m not going to go into detail because Skulduggery’s just arrived.”

“Ah,” said Fletcher, and turned to Skulduggery, standing in the doorway. “Skulduggery, I know you don’t indulge in small talk, so all I’ll ask is: where do you need to go?”

“Seattle,” Skulduggery said.

“Seattle,” Fletcher repeated, clapping his hands. “Home to Nirvana, Soundgarden and Jimi Hendrix. I can take you to the site of the first Starbucks, which is no longer there, or the Space Needle, which is still there, or the airport. Which is still there, too.”

“We’ll need to rent a car,” Skulduggery said, “so the airport would be handier.”

“You got it,” said Fletcher, and narrowed his eyes.

After a moment, Valkyrie asked, “Is everything OK?”

“I’ve been trying to do what Nero does,” Fletcher said. “He doesn’t need to be in physical contact with other people in order to teleport with them. I can’t seem to figure out how he does it, though.”

“Nero’s a Neoteric,” Skulduggery said. “That means even he doesn’t know how he does it. You should stick to the old-fashioned method.” He put his hand on Fletcher’s shoulder. “It’s what you do best.”

Fletcher looked at his hand, then smiled. “Thanks, Skulduggery. Your support means a lot to me.”

“I’m just waiting for you to teleport.”

“Oh,” Fletcher said, and Valkyrie laughed at him.

Fletcher took them to Sea-Tac Airport and then teleported away, leaving them to rent a car. There was snow on the ground, turned to brown mud by the side of the roads. Once they were driving, Valkyrie was able to tell Skulduggery about Tanith’s arrival, and Alice’s hamster, and the rerun of the vision about Omen and Auger.

She didn’t tell him about Caisson, though. She was going to keep that to herself until after their meeting.

“I’ve been having this vision since before Abyssinia returned,” she said, “and not a whole lot about it has changed. Auger’s still injured. Omen still dies.”

“The more information we get about it, the better our chances of averting it,” Skulduggery responded. “The latest detail you picked up was that it happens here, in America – possibly in Oregon. It stands to reason – though I make no assumptions – that what we are investigating now is somehow linked to what happens to the Darkly brothers in an indeterminate amount of time. So I would suggest that we continue as we are, and learn as much as we can about what’s going on.”

“But we’ve got so many things going on,” Valkyrie countered. “We’ve got Alice’s soul to heal, President Flanery’s missing aide to investigate and now we have Temper’s melty-face people to find.”

“Kith.”

“Melty-face people is more descriptive. My point is, we can’t do everything.”

“Of course we can,” Skulduggery said. “We’re Arbiters. We’re detectives. We have incredible bone structure.”

“All that is undeniable, but aren’t we in danger of missing something if we have all these different things calling out for our attention? I don’t want to lose a chance to find Doctor Nye because we’re chasing down a lead on Flanery’s assistant.”

He shook his head. “Flitting between investigations will keep us sharp, and prevent us from developing tunnel vision. It’s a good thing to be so busy.”

“I told Omen to stay out of America for the next few weeks,” Valkyrie said. “Do you think that was a good idea?”

“Yes.”

“OK.”

“Unless by telling him to stay out of America you’ve inadvertently set him on a collision course with the events you saw in your vision.”

“Oh, God. Do you think I have?”

“Probably not.”

“Phew.”

“But maybe.”

“Skulduggery, I swear to God …”

They turned right at a junction. “When it comes to visions of the future, we can’t know anything,” he said. “We could continue on exactly as we are and not one thing you saw will actually come true. Or we could second-guess every decision we make from now until then, and the future would happen just as you foresaw. From what we know, there are an infinite amount of possible futures that stem from any given moment. Sensitives can glimpse one of these possible futures, but there’s no way of knowing how close it is to what will eventually transpire.”

Valkyrie let his words soak in. They didn’t make her feel any better. In fact, they made her glum. Which in turn made her wonder.

“Am I as much fun as I used to be?” she suddenly asked.

“No,” Skulduggery said immediately.

She shot him a look. “You could have taken a little more time to think about it.”

“You’ve had a lot on your mind for the last thirteen years,” he responded. “First you found out that your uncle had been murdered, then you had to help save the world, then you met some transdimensional supergods, after which you found out that you were this Darquesse person that all the Sensitives were so worried about. Then you thought you were going to be the Death Bringer, then Darquesse emerged, and then she took over your body, and then you died, and then you had to fight her, and then you were in America for five years to recover, and now you’ve come back and you’ve had to rescue your sister from a serial killer who blamed you for the death of his serial-killer apprentice, and now this whole thing with Alice’s soul … But I think there was maybe a three-week gap somewhere in there, before things got too serious, when you were what could be considered fun.”

She grunted. “We’ve been busy.”

“Yes, we have.”

“And do you think I’ve become too … serious?”

“It’s a serious world.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“You’re as serious as you need to be,” said Skulduggery. “And you’re as flippant as you need to be. It’s a balancing act. If you tip too far one way or the other, you fall off the wire. People like us, Valkyrie, it’s our purpose in life to walk that wire.”

She nodded, and looked out of the window. “I don’t think I’m as happy as I used to be.”

“It would astonish me if you were.”

“I’ve got issues. About everything that’s happened. I think I need to talk to someone.”

“You can talk to me.”

She smiled. “Thank you. But I think I have to talk to someone else. You’re … I don’t mean this in a bad way, but—”

“But I’m a part of the problem,” Skulduggery said.

“Yes. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m a bad influence, and I always have been. You need a professional. China has a few on her staff at the High Sanctuary.”

Valkyrie looked at him. “I might make an appointment, so.”

He nodded. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“Would you ever consider it?”

He flicked the indicator and they overtook a slow-moving truck. “I’m too far gone, I’m afraid,” he said. “I have my demons, but they work to keep each other in check at all times. My mind is in a permanent state of finely tuned chaos that I would be loath to disrupt.”

“And you don’t think it’s too late for me?”

He angled his head towards her. “Your traumas have made you who you are, but they don’t define you. You can live with them, I have no doubt.”

Valkyrie nodded. She was satisfied with that. For the moment.

They got where they were going a little over an hour later. An operative from the American Sanctuary indicated the car on the other side of the street, the one Oberon Guile was sitting in. Valkyrie nodded her thanks to the operative, who ignored her, and drove off.

“I don’t think that guy appreciated handing this case over to us,” Valkyrie said as they parked. “Can we send him a muffin basket or something?”

“No.”

“Then can we get muffins?”

“Sure.”

They got out and Valkyrie crossed the road, approaching Oberon’s car with a bright smile on her face. She motioned for him to wind down the window, and as she reached the car Skulduggery slipped in the passenger side, gun levelled at Oberon’s midsection.

Valkyrie leaned in. “Hands on the dash, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“This is really not a good time,” Oberon said, complying. He was stubbly, and even better-looking in person, and he had a nice accent and a nice voice. It had an edge to it.

“Who are they?” Valkyrie asked. “The people in the house you’re watching?”

“I’m not watching anyone, Miss Cain,” Oberon said. “I’m just sitting here in my car.”

“You know who I am.”

“I may not be the most sociable of sorcerers,” said Oberon, “but I’ve heard of the Skeleton Detective and the girl who almost killed the world.”

“My nickname sucks.”

Oberon looked at Skulduggery. “You can put the gun away. I’m not your enemy.”

“I’ll decide what you are,” Skulduggery replied. “My partner asked you a question that you haven’t answered.”

Oberon drummed the dashboard with his fingertips. “The people in that house are of no concern to you. You want something – tell me what it is so I can get back to sitting here. But, Miss Cain, would you mind getting in the car? I’m trying not to draw attention to myself.”

Valkyrie got in the back, then scooted over so she could look at Oberon while they talked. His car was very clean.

“Bertram Wilkes,” Skulduggery said. “You were in his house last week.”

“So?”

“So why were you there?”

“Maybe I was his guest.”

“For you to be his guest, he would have to have invited you in. That would be rather hard to do, seeing as how he’s been missing for six months.”

“OK then, I broke in,” said Oberon. “He owes me money.”

“How much?”

“Few hundred.”

“Did you get it?”

“No.”

“When was the last time you spoke to him?”

“Well,” Oberon said, “how long did you say he’s been missing? Six months? So, let’s say that I haven’t spoken to him in six and a half.”

“Why are you lying to us?” Skulduggery asked.

“I don’t really see a reason why I should answer any questions at all, to be honest. I’m not part of your Sanctuary thing. You got no jurisdiction over me.”

“We can arrest you.”

“For what?”

“Obstructing an investigation. Wasting our time. Not being forthcoming.”

Oberon gave a little laugh. “That’s a crime now, is it?”

“We’re Arbiters,” Skulduggery said. “That means we can make up our own crimes.”

Oberon sighed and scratched his cheek.

“OK,” he said at last, “I’ll tell you the truth. But you gotta do something for me in return. You gotta help me raid that house.”

Valkyrie sat forward. “Who’s in there?”

“Bad guys,” he answered. “I think they might have my son. I haven’t been able to confirm that because there’s one of me and nine of them – but, with you two, I could probably make a go of it.”

“Why would they have your son?” Skulduggery asked.

“You know who Wilkes was, right? His job?”

“President Flanery’s personal aide.”