In God’s Hands: The Spiritual Diaries of Pope St John Paul II

3. The content of the notes

The notes taken during the retreats reflect the quality of Bishop Wojtyła’s and Pope John Paul II’s spirit. They show how spiritually sensitive he was to the problems that the Church in Poland and the Church in the world faced. He took the effort to prepare the topics of reflection days and private retreats by himself. At the retreat that he attended together with the Polish Bishops’ Conference, he used the retreat leader’s thoughts to develop his own reflection on his relationship with God and the ways in which he should fulfil his episcopal duties, which gave meaning to his life.

The author of the notes appears to be an extraordinarily regular and well-organised person, focused on spiritual topics. He refrains from describing his emotional states, current affairs and people involved in them. His entire focus is on the extent to which he can reflect Christ in his own life – Christ the Highest Priest. At the end of his entries, the Pope often adds the abbreviation: AMDG/UIOGD – Ad maiorem Dei gloriam / Ut in omnibus glorificetur Deus (For the greater glory of God / That in all things God may be glorified).

A characteristic feature of the notes is their Christocentrism. Fr Wojtyła related all his experiences to Christ, the Highest Priest. He sought to establish a personal contact with Him through regular prayer, meditation on the word of God and pastoral service. He related to Christ all his personal affairs and problems, which he had to face as diocesan bishop, cardinal and pope.

At the centre of all of Fr Wojtyła’s days was the Holy Mass. He prepared for it through the morning meditation, thanksgiving after the Holy Mass and during the day, as well as the Holy Hour in the evening, before the Blessed Sacrament. For Fr Wojtyła, the Eucharist was the space where he could experience Christ’s sacrifice and, at the same time, offer his own life as a sacrifice to God. It was his style of life, which consisted in the surrender of his own self, just as Christ gave up His life on the cross. Through the daily celebration of the Holy Mass, Fr Wojtyła was united with the unique sacrifice of Christ and entered into a personal relationship with the Triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

The Marian theme is another important feature of the notes. It is developed around the theology and spirituality of St Louis-Marie Grignion de Montfort (Treatise on True Devotion to The Blessed Virgin Mary). Mary appears in Fr Wojtyła’s prayers and reflections as the One who received and fulfilled God’s will in the most perfect way. Fr Wojtyła underlines Her greatness, which was expressed in the wonderful gift of divine grace that She received as the Mother of the incarnate Word. At the same time, the Holy Father considered Mary a person who was mature in faith and who, taking the decision to say ‘fiat’ – let it be to me according to Your word – became a partaker in the divine plan of salvation.

4. Faithfulness until the end

In the last years of his life, John Paul II’s notes became sparser. The Holy Father took note of the topic of the retreat and the order of the day. There is less of his own reflections. It is evident that he found writing more and more difficult. His handwriting also changed and became more irregular.

In 2005, the Vatican retreat was led by Bishop Renato Corti from Novara, who in accordance with the tradition gave talks in the Redemptoris Mater Chapel on 13–19 February. The topic of the retreat was: ‘The Church in the service of the new and eternal covenant’ (‘La Chiesa a servizio della nuova ed eterna alleanza’). John Paul II took part in this retreat by listening to the radio broadcast from the chapel. He listened to all the talks and participated in the Spiritual Exercises, which he practised privately during retreats. He was accompanied by his personal secretary, Archbishop Stanisław Dziwisz, and other members of the household. The notebooks contained only the printed programme of this retreat, which the Holy Father held in his hand while listening to Bishop Corti’s talks. John Paul II remained faithful to the tradition of annual retreats. His last retreat was made complete through his suffering, which became a special mark in his spiritual diary.

Fr Jan Machniak1

The Retreats

1962

Recollectio (inter.) [Inner retreat]

Praenotanda [Introduction]

8 July

The following key inner topics have been put together and discussed with the father:

1. death

2. power

3. creativity

4. people.

2 September

The recollection of these topics and novum [novelty] (as if a common denominator was found for all the experiences and reflections): I am very much in God’s hands – the content of this ‘Totus Tuus’ [‘Entirely Yours’]1 opened, so to speak, in a new place. When any concern ‘of mine’ becomes in this way Mary’s, it can be undertaken, even if it involves an element of risk (though one must not overdo it: in human terms, i.e. on the human side, the issue needs to be dealt with thoroughly). At a certain point, however, one needs to abandon human calculations and somehow grasp the Godly dimensions of every difficult issue. A peculiar iunctim [junction] of issue 4 with issue 2 begins to emerge here.

I discussed all this with the father too.

1962 Dies recollectionis (sequ.)

[Reflection days (continuation)] after the arrival in Rome for the first session of the Second Vatican Council

9 October

Holy Mass; Lauds; Prime

I participated in the ‘capella papalis’ [‘solemn papal ceremonies’] on the fourth anniversary of the death of the late Pope Pius XII, thanks to whom I became a bishop. Thoughts: (a) moving from external to internal vision, I have realised that all those present are connected in one spirit and it is the Spirit of Christ, the Son of God. I experienced this unity in diversity very clearly, and with various degrees of participation taken into account. Not a gathering of many separate units, but the unity of substance. It is the substance of thought, doctrine – and it is attended to by the Pope and the Council. But it is also the substance of life, morals, which we realise within the one Church, through, above all, the mysterium (sacraments): the unity of our sacrificial posture with Christ’s, sealed with the Communion; (b) a background thought that came to me was about the truth of priesthood and episcopacy, which was also given to me from within Christ’s priesthood through His Vicar on earth (Vicarius Christi).1

Adoration: Christ is entirely within the Church and the Church is entirely within Christ. NB I constantly need to remind myself to wish for a good shepherd for the seat of St Stanislaus above all and fundamentally, without allowing for any ‘mea’ [‘mine’].2

Reading the schema ‘de castitate, matrimonio, familia, virginitate’ [‘on chastity, marriage, family, virginity’].3

Reflection (meditation):

1. quoad theoriam [concerning theory]

2. quoad practicam [concerning practice].

(The problem of a general and ‘perspectival’ leadership in this area.)

14 October

Meditation: Let us consider the most proper way for the human spirit to meet the Divine Spirit. Our Lord Christ laid the foundation for this meeting for every human being – and for the work of the Divine Spirit in the human spirit.

(The theological virtues: the means to adjust the human spirit to the Divine Spirit; the gifts of the Holy Spirit: the means, so to speak, of adjusting the Divine Spirit to the ‘dimensions’ of the human spirit.) A move towards the opening and submission of the human spirit to the Divine Spirit is necessary, particularly during the Council. The goal cannot be the expression or assertion of oneself, the human being, the human spirit alone – but above all the expression of that which comes from the Divine Spirit in the form of virtues and gifts. In this light, the fundamental attitude: (1) a permanent necessity to subordinate creativity to truth; (2) experimentum divinum, non humanum [the divine, not human, experience]; (3) humility.

[31 October – 4 November] 1962

Rome, at the Felician Sisters’ Convent

Topic: The mystery of redemption

Deus, Redemisti nos Domine

in sanguine Tuo ex omni

tribu et populo et natione

et fecisti nos Deo nostro regnum

[God, by Thy blood, O Lord,

you didst ransom us from every

tribe and people and nation,

and hast made us a kingdom to our God]1

31 October

The retreat begins at 7.00 p.m.

Adoration; Matins

Introductory meditation: Sixteenth anniversary of [my] ordination to the priesthood – recapitulatio, ut ita dicam, historica [a historical recollection, so to speak]2

Reading: Rahner K., XX siècle – siècle de grâce? [twentieth century – the century of grace?]. Opus Creationis – opus Redemptionis [the order of creation – the order of redemption].3 (La Rédemption au Coeur de Marie [Redemption in Mary’s Heart]).

Compline

1 November

Rosary (petitionary); Lauds

Meditation: Memories from the ceremony of the sacrament of priesthood ‘ut quidquid benedixerint, benedicatur, et quidquid consecraverint, consecretur et sanctificetur’ [‘that whatever they bless may be blessed, and whatever they consecrate may be consecrated and made holy’].4

– On the priest’s hands – Nothing, however, was ‘right’, until the point when I felt great humility towards Christ’s work of redemption – in this spirit, Sacrum cum grat. act., Prima [Holy Mass with thanksgiving, Prime].

Further meditation: Christ redeems us and all for the Father, i.e. offers an atoning sacrifice (propitiatorium), which consists in His complete devotion and union with the Father. Hence the Holy Spirit as the breath of both. We – people – are elevated by the act of Christ’s redemption. Even though we remain outside of what ‘happens’ between the Persons of the Most Holy Trinity, we nevertheless experience the effects of this wonderful spiritual fertility and abundant love. The redemptive act of Christ the Lord embraces, in a special way, priesthood as the culmination of the sacrificial posture, which is, after all, not alien to man as part of the creation. Redemption (Redemptio) also involves a certain striving towards the re-evaluation of everything that is created, in particular everything that is human – and this, as well, should be shared by the priesthood and reflected in it.

The Way of the Cross

Spiritual reading (S. Paul et l’apostolat d’aujourd’hui [St Paul and Today’s Apostolate] and others)

Rosary (II); Vespers

Meditation practica [concerning practical issues]: Problems: (a) Focusing on ‘one’s own’ matters and the necessity to work on a wider range and broaden one’s orientation in many disciplines; (b) certain conclusions on the issue of the ‘priest–laypeople’ balance, and further tasks; (a1) a search for concise and abstract formulae in relation to the human and priestly reality (‘all’ and ‘different’) esp. the needy.

Adoration: In the Eucharist, Christ the Lord allowed us to draw as close to Himself as possible – particularly through priesthood: the closest to who He is, [illegible] and what He fulfils.

Matins (for the dead); Litany of the Saints

Holy Hour: A personal moment with Christ, a personal wish – waiting for a response. Propitiatio pro peccatis meis [The atoning sacrifice for my sins].5

2 November

Rosary; Petitionary prayers; Lauds

Meditation (a) Being much engaged in earthly tasks, in creative work, always to be ready: not to lose perspective. ‘Re-evaluation’ constitutes only one aspect of redemption, which in a sense is its least important aspect (when it comes to the values on ‘this side’); (b) and with this understanding to comprehend the words of the liturgy ‘quia in inferno nulla est redemptio’ [‘for in hell there is no redemption’].6

Three Holy Masses; Thanksgiving

Reading (L’Eglise dans le monde qui vient [The Church in the modern world])

The Way of the Cross

Meditation: ‘Copiosa apud Eum Redemptio’ [‘with Him is plenteous redemption’]:7 Holiness is the source. In Christ the absolute holiness of God is united hypostatically with the holiness of man. God’s holiness (as the love of good and the hatred of evil), but first and foremost as the love of good in everything, even the one who is evil (per accidens [contingently]). All good (the entire sum of values) outside God has its prototype in God Himself. God loves one in another – in this consists His holiness. This holiness is the basis for redemption – also understood as the ‘re-evaluation’ of everything: God restores the value of everything in man, who is personally united with Him. He is Christ – Redemptor [Redeemer]: the holiness of man consists in receiving this good, which God loves – in this manner Christ becomes the model of holiness. In Him that holiness is in a way identical to redemption (Redemptio). In us it has to depend on, first, conversion to God, and second, re-evaluation of everything in accordance with the value that everything has in God, and which Christ the Lord has shown to us.

Rosary; Adoration; Vespers

Meditation super experimentum [on experience]: (An element of risk.) Everything has to be permanently in God’s hands and dependent on God’s assistance. Hence no psychologisation, but moral and, first and foremost, religious orientation (i.e. in Mary’s hands).

Conversation with M.W. (a) missionary–apostolic element; (b) God makes use of different people.

Penitential psalms

Meditation: Conversion in actu quolibet [in every action] has to consist in finding the will of Christ the Lord. There is no other method of opposing the various impulses of human vanity of life; the problem of power, criticism, envy, even together with a certain foundation of some ‘transcendental’ humility towards the Lord God.

Matins (at the Church of the Blessed Virgin Mary)

3 November

Rosary; Petitionary prayers; Lauds

Meditation: Redemption began with ‘Totus Tuus’;8 Preparation for Holy Mass

Holy Mass; Thanksgiving

Spiritual reading (L’individu dans l’Eglise [The individual in the Church])

Meditation: Redemption began with ‘Totus Tuus’: the one and only person, the new human being to whom God entrusted Himself. God–Son needed Her to fulfil His task. God–Son could entrust to Her His own being in this task, because it was first achieved in Her and He prepared Her for this Totus Tuus. Mary responded to this devotion of God in its entire redemptive sense, its entire dynamics. She drew from it and is still drawing that which is contained in it for each and every person: first, conversion, and second, re-evaluation. And in all who entrust themselves to Her, She performs both in due proportion.

My problem is solved here: recently I have felt I was very much in Mary’s hands and close to God through two specific issues. Yet, has not the order been reversed? Am I not ‘using’ it to do something that is ‘very much mine’? The stance I am taking on these issues is total humility. Here is the solution: In Mary’s hands, according to the ‘Totus Tuus’ principle, the work of redemption must be realised also in me with the proportion between conversion and re-evaluation duly maintained.

The Way of the Cross (with Mary); Pastoral letter; Vespers; Rosary

Meditation: The most appropriate effects of redemption in the human being are deeds that stem from it – deeds that through Mary are rooted in Christ, through one’s belonging to Her (Tuus [Yours]), and that are simultaneously in accordance with Christ’s law, with His gospel – in the highest accordance. Here also, among other things, the issue of Father W. (Three possibilities: to simply remain humble and make use of what is at least partly true in there; to make light of it: he will improve as he is young; ‘to keep watch’ and make sure he has improved intellectually and also ‘morally’. First and foremost, one needs to pray for him and for the right decision.)

Adoration; Final concluding meditation (the issue of envy); Matins (memorial of St Charles);9 Rosary

4 November

Holy Mass with the relic of St Charles’s heart, celebrated by the Pope

Meditation: ad instar s. Caroli afferre se ipsum ad bonum commune Ecclesiae et in domicilio et in Dioecesi, participans hoc modo in opere Redemptionis [to work towards the common good of the Church both at home and in the diocese after the example of St Charles, thus participating in the work of salvation].

Adoration

[1 December 1962]

Missa ad intentionem satisfaciendi S. Cordi BMV [Mass offered in reparation to the Most Sacred Heart of Mary]

[2 December 1962]: First Sunday of Advent

There are, so to speak, two planes: the divine plane (the love of the Son–Word for the Father) and the human plane (people’s yearning for the true God, for the revelation of God in the Son–Word). These two planes approach and come into contact with each other – this is the spirit of Advent.

My Advent (a reminder from last year): a strong wish for God–Christ to enter into every matter. In this context, there is the experimental meaning too: it is still in fieri [in the process of ‘becoming’] in me, in others, in an objective way and regarding its future sense.

6–7 July 196? [probably 1963] Kalwaria – The Shrine of Our Lady1

Aims:

1. To ask for peace and good for the Church of Kraków, efficacy of action, vocations.

2. To prepare the basis for the retreat.

3. To move forward certain tasks.

In general: preferably the form of reflection days (= meditation connected with other tasks).

Confession; Holy Mass; Meditation; The Way of the Cross; The Little Ways2

(a) Numerous threads, reflective and ‘existential’. One needs to bring them all here and pass them into These Hands in accordance with the principle ‘Totus Tuus’ [‘Entirely Yours’].

(b) The main topic of the retreat emerges: ‘between past and future’.

19–23 [August] 1963 Retreat in Tyniec1 Topic: Justification – grace

19 August

Compline; Adoration; Meditation

20 August

Lauds; Prime

Meditation before Holy Mass:

1. Holy Mass brings the rhythm of Christ, the rhythm of the Son of God into our lives.

2. (The integrating role of consciousness – the disintegrating role of sensuousness.)

Holy Mass; Thanksgiving; Reading the Holy Scripture; Reading the Council schema; Meditation; The Way of the Cross

A reference to the previous retreat held in Rome on 31 October – [4] November 1962. The dogmatic topic that requires a deeper spiritual reflection is the mystery of justification (iustificatio). Man cannot be ‘just’ before God; he can only be ‘justified’ before Him. The former is proved by the fact that man is not equal to God, his Creator, and the latter by Christ and the entire order of grace.

No creature can be in a position of justice before its Creator. Man is in a way a synthesis of creatures. As a creature in general, he and his existence are unconditionally dependent on his Creator; he is dependent also by virtue of his nature and, consequently, unequivocally subordinate. As a being endowed with vegetative (sensual) life, he is subject to the laws of life and death (generatio et corruptio) like other creatures. As a spiritual being – a person – he bears a more special resemblance to the Creator, which obligates him to maintain the order of justice, i.e. to give to everybody what rightly belongs to them (which also includes paying religious worship to God). The fact of personhood does not render invalid man’s vegetativeness and animalitas [animal nature], which turns him into ‘ash and nothing’2 before his Creator. As a person, man can enter into personal contact with the Creator; this contact, however, has to be initiated by the Creator. When He initiates it, it consists (like the act of creation) in an act of mercy, because man as a creature is fully dependent and subordinate. In particular, he needs to be justified because of his sin, which, as an offence to God, does harm to the very essence of this personal contact understood in the way it is understood and intended by the Creator – and it is His prerogative to define the essence of the contact He establishes with His rational creature.