If You're Not The One

‘So what’s Sean bringing round?’

‘You wouldn’t understand,’ said Tim bluntly.

‘Try me.’

‘He’s been developing some programs. I told you. He’s written some code.’

‘For reUNIon?’

‘Yes,’ Tim said, sounding exasperated, which in turn made Jennifer feel sad.

Just then, Pete yelled up the stairs.

‘Tim, someone here for you.’

‘Great,’ said Tim, bounding into action, brushing past her in his eagerness to get to Sean, practically flattening her as he did so.

Jennifer gave up and sighed. She’d lost him so she might as well get on with her evening. Karen would be pleased anyway, she thought, as she picked her way across the landing which had piles of dirty laundry strewn all over it.

Later that night, or rather, in the early hours of the next day, Jennifer and Karen staggered home. After five minutes of taking it in turns to stab the front door with their keys they finally made it into the house. Giggling like schoolgirls, cross-legged and clutching one another in an attempt not to piss themselves laughing, it took them an age to get up the stairs. Once they had they both raced to the loo and then reconvened in the lounge,they peeled their coats off and Karen got out all her skinning up paraphernalia.

‘I’m going to see if Tim’s still up,’ said Jennifer, who couldn’t be bothered with pretending she wasn’t dying to see him.

‘Fine,’ said Karen, only slightly huffily. ‘No doubt he will be because he hasn’t taken over the world yet.’

As Jennifer bounded up the stairs she decided it was probably time to have it out with Karen once and for all. Her constant jibes were getting on her nerves. It wasn’t her fault Karen was single at the moment.

‘Tim,’ she said, banging on his door, having seen light coming from beneath it. There was no reply but there was music playing, Oasis by the sound of it. She barged in.

Tim and Sean barely looked up, so engrossed were they, huddled over the wretched computer.

‘Er…yoohoo, hello, Earth calling my saddo geek boyfriend.’

‘Oh hello you,’ said Tim looking up. Despite looking exhausted and having the pallor of someone who hadn’t had any fresh air all day, his eyes were shining and he looked excited and thrilled. As he leaned back his shirt rode up exposing a glimpse of his lean hairless stomach.

‘How’s it going?’ said Jennifer, suddenly feeling slightly queasy. Running up the stairs probably hadn’t been the wisest of moves given that she had litres of various spirits swooshing around in her belly. She swayed across the room and sank thankfully down onto the bed. She reached down to pull off her trainers and once she’d manhandled them off, chucked them across the room. They made a huge thudding sound as they made contact with the wall.

‘Amazing,’ said Tim. ‘We’re doing fucking amazing, thanks to Sean.’

Jennifer smiled weakly in Sean’s direction. Sean had the social skills of a jellyfish as far as she was concerned and, if she were being completely honest, she was a bit jealous of him. Tim never looked this happy and satisfied after a night in with her, that was for sure.

‘Come downstairs and have a drink with me and Karen?’ she said, trying not to sound petulant but not sure if she was succeeding due to being so drunk. Ugh, now that she wasn’t breathing in lungfuls of sea air, the alcohol was making its effect well and truly known.

‘Um…’

Jennifer got up, rolling her eyes heavenward, bracing herself for the inevitable no.

‘…yes, why not, my little drunkard? I’d love to. And then you can tell me all about your evening.’

Jennifer smiled. ‘I’ll re-enact it if you like.’

‘Even better,’ said Tim pulling a face. ‘Come on Sean, we should have a break.’

‘Cool,’ muttered Sean, not moving.

Tim rubbed his face with both hands, then came over to where Jennifer was and regarded her with interest as she bent down to retrieve her clumpy shoes.

‘I can see right up your skirt,’ he said, in a way that gave Jennifer an immediate thrill.

He lightly stroked her belly, in a way that was a mixture of quite nice yet also irritating.

‘You are wrecked aren’t you,’ he stated, suddenly noticing how much she was frowning. Her brows were knitted together partly due to how much concentration was required simply to stand up straight.

‘I’m fine,’ she said defensively.

‘Good,’ he said, running his hands up her back.

It was the affection she’d been craving for days, only right this second being touched was making her feel vaguely nauseous. She needed to eat. She needed toast.

‘Can I have some of your bread?’ she said, pulling away and gesturing to his fridge. She lumbered over to it before he’d had the chance to answer.

‘But of course,’ said Tim. ‘Eat an entire loaf if you like, my sweet. And if reUNIon takes off like I think it’s going to, I shall buy you your very own bakers.’

Jennifer wasn’t really listening. She was too intent on getting at the sliced white which she had confidence would restore her sugar levels and hopefully make her feel less pissed. She had planned on toasting it but in the end was so desperate for some starchy carbohydrate, she just ripped a slice in two and shoved one of the halves into her mouth plain.

As she chewed, it stuck to the roof of her mouth.

‘Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not completely classy,’ joked Tim. ‘Third class that is.’

‘Come on, let’s go and have a drink then,’ she said, mouth full.

‘Yes,’ said Tim. ‘Because you look like you definitely need one.’

Jennifer tried hard to think of a witty riposte but it was too much effort so she gave up and staggered towards the door instead.

Tim followed her but seemingly Sean couldn’t be torn away from his computer for neither love, money nor vodka.

In the lounge Karen was reclining on the main sofa which was so threadbare and ancient it had pretty much collapsed in on itself a long time ago. Lying on it felt a lot like you were lying on the floor. She was doing some impressive recreational multi-tasking by building a spliff, keeping one eye on the telly and listening to music. ‘Don’t Speak’ by No Doubt was blasting.

‘Evening, Karen,’ said Tim, in a tone that suggested he was up for a bit of a wind-up session.

Jennifer sighed inwardly as she realised she’d now be in charge of keeping the peace.

‘Right…booze,’ she said. ‘Shall I make us all a vodka?’

‘Yeah,’ said Karen. ‘Where’s the bag, we didn’t leave it did we?’

‘No, it’s here by your feet,’ said Jennifer, extracting the plastic bag which had a half bottle of vodka and some orange juice in it from where it was wedged down the back of the sofa.

Of course it went without saying that there were no clean glasses or mugs to be found in the kitchen so she went downstairs to her room to fetch some paper cups which she’d purchased only the other week precisely for times like this.

Due to being so utterly rat-arsed, the effort of now having charged downstairs at high speed left her swaying in the middle of the room for a few seconds while trying to remember what she’d come down for. Her mind had gone completely blank and she could hardly keep her eyes open. Finally it came back to her. Cups. Paper cups. Now she felt smug. Well done her. She was conscious of getting back to the lounge quickly though, so as soon as she’d retrieved them she raced back, leaving her door wide open in her haste. It wouldn’t do to leave Tim and Karen alone for too long. They’d only end up sniping at each other.

It was too late though. As she approached the lounge her heart sank.

‘But wanting to know what people “do” is just blatant snobbery isn’t it?’ Karen was arguing, albeit from a lying down position which put Tim, who was sitting upright, at an immediate advantage.

‘Oh fuck off Karen, you should hear yourself. What’s snobby about being curious? About being interested?’

‘Because you’re suggesting that what we “do” defines us, like some middle-aged fart at a drinks party saying “And what do you do?” she said, in a voice like Maggie Thatcher.

‘Here are your drinks,’ said Jennifer brusquely, splashing liquid into the paper cups until they were pretty much two parts vodka one part juice.

Tim took his and slugged it back. As he did he winced. ‘Oof that’s strong?’

‘Poof,’ said Karen unnecessarily, downing hers in one and instantly looking like she deeply regretted it.

‘Anyhow,’ said Tim, ‘the point is, Karen, that if you think reUNIon is such a shit idea you won’t go on it, that is entirely your prerogative. And yet I’d bet good money that in five years’ time, if you got an email telling you that Ed Fisher wanted to find out what you were up to, and not only that, that he’d predicted what he thought you were up to, you’d be intrigued. Don’t try and tell me you wouldn’t have a look at that point.’

This was a bit below the belt. Ed Fisher had been, up until five weeks ago, Karen’s boyfriend. Then he’d dumped her, cruelly, by text, telling her it was because he didn’t really fancy her and saw her more as a friend. She’d cried pretty much for a week.

‘If that arsehole got in touch with me in five years’ time I’d be fucking livid,’ she yelled.

Jennifer slugged back her drink nervously. ‘You two,’ she interjected. ‘Can we talk about something else for once?’

‘Like what?’ said Tim sarcastically. ‘What do you want to enlighten us with, my angel?’

Jennifer gulped and as she did so she became aware of a horrid metallic taste in her mouth. This was swiftly followed by an ominous lurching sensation in her stomach. Horrified, she brought her hand up to her mouth.

‘You OK?’ said Karen.

‘Gonna puke,’ Jennifer just about managed, racing from the room as the cocktails she’d drunk earlier made an unscheduled reappearance.

‘I am one hell of a lucky guy,’ said Tim.

‘Yes you are actually,’ replied Karen loftily, though the sound of Jennifer puking violently into the kitchen sink wasn’t really helping her case.

PRESENT DAY

‘What’s happening, Doctor?’ asked Max, the scraping sound of the plastic chair against the floor indicating he’d leapt to his feet the second the doctor had appeared through the door.

‘Well, we’re encouraged that she’s made it through surgery. At one point we were extremely concerned about the build-up of blood around the skull but it appears to have eased off. Having said that, she’s not completely out of the woods yet, although her vital signs have stabilised.’

A pause.

‘Perhaps we should continue speaking in the corridor, Mr Wright.’

Good, thought Jennifer. She needed quiet and wanted to be left alone. In sterile silence. Once more she felt herself slipping a little further back towards oblivion, only as she did so she was suddenly hooked violently back to reality again for the second time that day. As though a giant fist had gripped her purposefully, purely so she could address a thought which had been loitering on the periphery of her consciousness, tapping her brain, desperate for her attention.

Polly and Eadie. As maternal instinct took over and penetrated everything, her daughters were flung into sharp reality. Her babies, her girls. The stab of emotion she encountered in that moment as she thought of them was gut wrenching, panic inducing. She didn’t know if they were OK and during this rare moment of lucidity she fully understood that she was powerless to find out. She couldn’t be like this. They needed her. What was happening? She felt like a prisoner in her own body, helpless, petrified. If Max was here, wherever ‘here’ was, then who was looking after them? Her mum? Karen? But as quickly as panic and fear welled up, it subsided again as confusion swamped her once more.

She battled in vain to stay attached to the awareness of her daughters, but it proved too difficult. As quickly as their images had formed, they slipped away again, until within seconds she couldn’t remember anything. Instead, all that remained was the overriding sense that she was detached from whatever was happening, and that she was being encouraged to drift further and further from it. Perhaps she should? At first she’d been pleased to emerge from the fog but it was enticing her back again. And so she succumbed once more to the new murky world she now existed in. Furthermore, as Jennifer drifted away she let the falling sensation overwhelm her again, this time confident of what to expect. There they were, the tunnels of light, and for the second time she was carried towards the still open portal on the left.

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