Montana Gold

Chase lifted his head and she whimpered in protest, but he silenced her with another kiss on her mouth. And with his hand, sliding into the waist of her soft cotton pants, pushing them out of the way, caressing her abdomen more with his palm, working his way down and down until he was stroking the hot, wet center of her with his deliciously hard fingertips.

Then without warning, he stiffened and took his mouth away, lifted his head against the pull of her hands.

“Nooo,” she murmured, trying to pull him back to her.

He whispered, “Where’s your buddy, Missy Jo?”

She heard it then, a woman’s voice right outside the door. Saying, “Aussie!”

Elle hissed, “She’s supposed to be with Rodney! At his camper! Damn it.”

Then, “Oh, no! Is he with her?”

She reached for her shirt, every nerve strumming enough to make her hands shake.

“Aussie, leave that alone.”

The latch clicked and the door swung open. Missy Jo dashed in, watching Aussie running behind her. Elle had her head and one arm through the right holes in her sleeveless top when M.J. looked around…and down…and saw her and Chase.

The shock on her face was priceless. The delight that followed it was too terrible to watch. Elle knew she’d never stop saying, “I told you so.”

THE NEXT DAY, CHASE walked up to his buddy Travis Logs-don’s trailer where he’d left the rest of his gear. Trav, a team roper, was just saddling up to go practice.

“Sounds like you done good,” he said to Chase. “I heard ’em announce your score.”

“Yep,” Chase said, trying to dig his enthusiasm out of its hiding place, “I finally got past ol’ Crawdaddy.”

“Cowboy Stampede Poker Game,” Travis said.

Chase hesitated. He’d forgotten about the game. All he could think about was Elle and finishing what they’d started. He wanted to take her to dinner tonight. And to his room this time.

However, he couldn’t run out on his friends. This game was a long-running tradition with them. Well, he’d think of an excuse later. Nothing was coming to him right now and it’d have to be something big.

So he said, “Yep. Hope you’re ready to lose your money.”

“No, man. That’s you.”

They laughed and exchanged small talk about the game while Trav tightened his cinch and Chase checked his rigging for any sign of damage before he put it in his gear bag. Travis stopped talking in the middle of a sentence.

“We got company,” he finally said.

Chase turned around, and for a minute, he just stared. It took a second to get his mind around the fact that it was Shane staring back at him.

“Hey, Shane,” Travis said, but Shane didn’t answer.

“Shane?” Chase said, disbelieving. “What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were comin’ down?”

Shane didn’t say a word. He stood there looking at him with such a terrible expression on his face that a sudden coldness trickled down Chase’s spine. He dropped his gear, reached the kid in three long strides, and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“Talk to me,” he said. “Is it your mom?”

Shane tried to pull away, but Chase wouldn’t let him.

“My mom and you,” Shane said, his voice hard as the look in his eyes. “My parents. Who go ballistic if I lie to them.”

Chase knew then, but he asked anyhow. Stalling for time like the coward he was.

“What about us?”

“Oh, nothing,” Shane said, his voice sliding upward. “Nothing at all but just telling me the biggest lie in the universe.”

Tears sounded just under the surface. Clearly, the kid was about to lose it—and he’d be even more undone if he started bawling in front of Travis, so Chase let his hands drop to his sides and stood still, silently cursing the fact that Andie Lee hadn’t warned him this was coming.

The least she could’ve done was give him a heads-up.

The tears sprang into Shane’s eyes then and he narrowed his lids to hide them. He took a step backward that was like a hammer blow to Chase’s chest. He couldn’t lose him. He’d already lost Andie Lee.

And this was his kid, no matter who’d fathered him.

Control. Winning. He was older and supposedly wiser. He was known for his charm. He’d bring the boy around.

He took a deep breath. Now. Why did she have to tell him now?

Cowboy up, Lomax. Get a handle on it.

“How come you say we’ve been lying to you?”

“Andie Lee told me. She said my real dad is some other dude I don’t even know.”

Why now? She must be trying to tie up all the loose ends of her life before she got married. Married. Which she’d refused to do with Chase.

He felt twice betrayed. He should’ve been with her when she told Shane. Of course, he had to admit that he’d never volunteered to be. He’d always believed that she ought not to tell him at all.

And he’d been right. The stricken look on Shane’s face proved it.

Had that Blue guy she was supposedly in love with advised her to do this, after all the years she’d put it off? Couldn’t she think for herself?

Dimly, in the back of his mind, he remembered that she’d said she was going to do it, but goddamn it, he’d thought she would let him know when.

“You both lied to me,” Shane said, his voice cracking again. “You’re not my dad.”

“I am your dad,” Chase said, calm and forceful as he could be with such a chasm of fear opening in him.

He knew how kids could be. He knew how he had done his own dad when he was younger than Shane was now. He had left him without a word and never looked back.

Of course, his dad had been a drunk and a wife-and-kid beater.

Chase had always been good to Shane. Surely that’d make a difference here.

“It’s true I’m not your biological father but I am your dad, Shane, and you’d better remember that. I’ve got your back and I always will.”

A fire burned behind the wetness in Shane’s eyes and his voice scorned him for lying. “No way!”

He dropped both the bags he was carrying and balled up his fists.

“You could’ve told me but you didn’t. You let me believe it. That’s a lie just as much as if you’d told one. You lied to me, just like she did.”

The enormity of the anger coming from Shane dumbfounded Chase. And the hurt. That was the worst part. This kid was hurting and furious and he didn’t know what to do about it and he was dumping it all on Chase, wanting Chase to dispose of it for him.

I’m your real dad.

Pretty ironic. This was the kind of problem that real dads were supposed to take care of. How did they?

Resentment tamped down his fear. One minute he was minding his own business, putting up his gear and getting ready to head to the hotel and the next he had a hysterical kid on his hands.

By instinct, looking for help from anywhere, he glanced over his shoulder to see if Travis was still there. For all the good he could do, since he wasn’t a father, either.

All Chase’s own dad had ever done the one time Chase dared to tell him off was to give him a beating. And that was the day Chase left home—well, what had passed for a home—forever.

“I oughtta bust your face,” Shane said. “Liar.”

Chase stuck out his chin. “Take your best shot. It’ll make you feel better.”

Shane made a fist, drew back and slammed it with lightning speed into Chase’s jaw.

“You carry a pretty good punch for your size,” Chase said, working his jaw to loosen it enough to speak. It hurt.

“I’m not gonna fight you, Shane,” he said. “And I won’t try to defend myself except to say that I couldn’t be the one to tell you and you know it.”

He waited. Shane just glared at him for a long time, and then he wilted.

“Shit,” he said. “You’re already bleeding, don’t you know that?”

It was the first time Chase had thought of the slam to his head since the sports med guys had dabbed it with alcohol. As soon as he did, he could feel the sting and the ache again.

“You’re right. Andie Lee should’ve told me,” Shane said.

Andie hated it when Shane wouldn’t call her “mom.” The boy didn’t know how lucky he was to still have his mom.

“I’m not faulting her,” Chase said. “I was there all the time—I was your daddy—and you were too little for such useless news, even when y’all moved out. Your mom just kept putting it off until she thought you were ready.”

“Yeah, sure,” Shane said sarcastically.

“If it’d been up to me, you still wouldn’t know,” Chase said.

He just stood there and watched Shane’s face, wondering what he would do if the boy turned and walked away.

And what if he didn’t? Chase would have to deal with him. Damn. Shane could carry a grudge like nobody else, so this wouldn’t be over in a day or two.

To be fair, though, this really was a big deal and kids that age took even little things to heart like a tragedy.

“Why?”

“Why didn’t I want her to tell you?”

“Yeah.”

The question struck home. Why?

“Well…I don’t know,” he said. “I…I guess I thought… well, shoot—you had me, didn’t you?”

“Hey, Chase! See you at the table.”

Chase turned to see Travis riding away, headed for the practice pen.

“Don’t forget—nine o’clock,” Trav called to him. “Bring your money—you gotta have it if I’m gonna take it away.”

For a second, Chase had to think what Trav was talking about. Damn. This dust-up with Shane had rattled him good.

“Dream on,” Chase called back, forcing a smile.

To his surprise, when he looked at Shane again the kid was smiling, too.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” he said. “You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to have another dad.”

That made Chase stop and think.

“Yeah,” he finally said.

“I don’t, either. Not even Blue.” Shane scowled. “I can’t believe they’re getting married. That’s another reason I’m gonna live with you from now on.”

Chase felt his sore jaw drop. He damn sure wasn’t ready for this.

“Hey, now, not so fast, sport. I’m on the road all the time, you know that.”

Shane barely heard him.

“I’m gonna ride bareback and broncs and bulls, all of ’em.”

Chase clamped his lips together. Just when he’d thought they had the kid all straightened out.

“What about school? You’re doing good now.”

“Who needs it? I’ll be a rough-stock rider like you.”

“I went to high school,” Chase said.

“Mom said you left home when you were fifteen.”

“I did. But I lived at a buddy’s house and his mom made us go to school.”

Shane narrowed his eyes and judged that statement. Finally he nodded. Thank God he didn’t ask if Chase had graduated.

“Your mom would miss you something terrible, too,” Chase said. “Think what all she’s done for you these last couple of years. You’ve been a pain in the ass, Shane. Past that. She’s the main reason you’re clean and sober today.”

That tripped the boy off all over again. “Not,” he said, with the fury coming back. “She is not.”

“How do you figure that?”

Shane bent over to pick up his bags as if to signal it was time to move on from the subject of his mother.

Chase felt a touch of panic. The kid had lost his mind, and all because Andie Lee had done what he’d told her not to do.

“I decided to get sober on my own,” Shane said.

He started to step forward but Chase wouldn’t get out of his way.

“What made you decide?”

He had to make the kid see reason, get over his temper, and go back to his mother.

Shane shrugged. “Blue told me what it’s like in prison. I’m smart enough to know I don’t wanna go there.”

“Well, your mother introduced you to Blue, right? And she’s the one who arranged for you to ride with him, right? And she’s the one who brought you to rehab at the Splendid Sky in the first place, is what I’m thinking.”

Shane gave him a narrow-eyed look that said he couldn’t believe Chase’s stupidity.

“Maybe so, but I’m the one who made the choice.”

He had him there.

“You nailed it,” Chase said. “That’s the bottom line. What I’m pointing out is that your mother never gave up on you, which is what got you to the place where you could make that choice.”

Shane gave no indication he could hear. He just kept standing there holding the two canvas duffels that Chase now saw were packed to bursting.

The kid meant what he was saying. He had set his stubborn head to it.

And with the shape he was in, Chase couldn’t just order him to go home. Could he? Would that be the best way to handle it, just send him right back to the Splendid Sky and not even let him stay the night?

But what if that made him so mad it drove him back to drugs?

If he stayed very long, Chase would be driven to drugs—or drink, at the very least. It was nearly sundown. It was beginning to look like he could forget about the game and Elle.

He deserved a little fun. He’d stuck to his midnight curfew and slept his eight hours and kept to all the rest of his athlete’s regime for months and months. Wanting some fun didn’t mean that he was losing his desire to ride or getting ready to retire or anything like that.

“Look here, Shane…”

“Where are we stayin’?”

Hardheaded little idiot.

“At the Desert Rose,” Chase snapped. “For one night. We are staying there for one night and then you’re on a plane.”

Shane startled and stared at him.

“I’m your real dad, Shane,” he mocked, imitating Chase’s voice. “I’ve got your back, Shane. Oh, yeah. Always.”

Chase felt himself flush to the roots of his hair with anger, and then his blood cooled with fear.

How could the little turkey make him so mad so fast? He’d better get hold of himself.

“I do,” he snapped. “I am. But…”

“But I’m not your dad so much that you can do something normal like live with me,” Shane said, still in Chase’s voice.

“It’s a damnfool idea and you know it,” Chase said. “Now, come summer…”

“Come summer you’ll be on the road even more,” Shane said. “Are you my dad or not? By the way, where were you when I was growing up?”

Chase could not believe how the kid could push his buttons.

“I came to see you….”

“Every six months or so,” Shane said sarcastically. “So you could sleep with my mom.”

“Watch your mouth.”

It was all Chase could do to keep from decking him. He had to get a grip on himself. He turned on his heel and strode to his gear bag.

Shane followed.

“At the Desert Rose, do they have a casino?”

“The town’s full of ’em and you know it. But that’s nothing to you. You’re too young to get into any casino and you’re grounded anyhow.”

That took Shane back. “Grounded! You can’t…”

Chase opened his mouth to say, “I’m your dad,” but instead he said, “While you’re with me you’ll damn well do as I say.”

Shit. He’d better forget all this confusion about how to be a real dad and just try to hang onto Shane until morning.

“Yes, sir,” Shane said, and Chase couldn’t decide whether his tone was sarcastic or not. “But why am I grounded?”

“Runnin’ off from your mother.”

Chase bit his lip. He didn’t know that. What if Andie Lee had given her permission for Shane to come to him? Maybe just to give herself a break. But no, he’d guessed right. Shane didn’t say a word.

“My rental’s over there—that tan Impala,” he said. “Let’s go.”

He’d get Shane to the hotel, get some food into him, let him rave on about his mother and Chase and their big lie until he got it all out of his system and then he’d talk him into going back to Andie Lee where he belonged.

He could put him on a plane to Helena in the morning. He’d have to miss the poker game tonight, and he wouldn’t get a chance to call Elle, but that couldn’t be helped because there was no way he was turning the kid loose in this town. Or any other town.

If Shane fell off the wagon, Chase sure as hell wasn’t going to let it be on his watch.

Shane started talking again as soon as they were both in the car. Something about Blue.

Chase interrupted him. “Does your mother know where you are?”

Shane shook his head.

“Got your phone?”

Shane nodded.

“Use it.”

Shane glared, then arched up from his seat and snatched his phone from his front pocket. He dialed fast, as if the keys burned his finger.

His mother answered instantly.

“I’m with Dad,” he snarled. “I’m gonna live with him.”

Chase could hear Andie Lee’s voice, much louder than usual. It held a mix of equal parts fear, relief, frustration and anger.

“Forget that. You’re too young—”

Shane snapped the phone closed on the rest of her protest.

CHAPTER FIVE

ELLE GRIPPED THE steering wheel with both hands, hard, as if this fresh wind of fear were about to blow her away. She hated feeling scared. She hated it.

But she was afraid that this dog wouldn’t live and she was afraid she’d make the wrong decision the next time she was with Chase—which she might not have to worry about, since he hadn’t even called her. She hated to admit it, since it was life or death for the dog, but the thing with Chase scared her more.

In a way, that was life or death for her.

What she needed was a performance tonight so she could quit thinking and just be there, face-to-face with the bulls. That was when she felt the most alive in every cell of her body and life was so blessedly simple. All she had to do was live in the moment and act on instinct. Nothin’ to think about, no decisions to make. Just let go and feel, because if a bullfighter stopped to think about the right reaction to a bull’s move, it was already too late.

Every move you made tonight was exactly right.

She could still hear Chase saying that and see him looking her in the eye while he did. Not every guy would’ve been that generous, especially not after he’d criticized her in Austin.

And not any guy could make her feel what he’d made her feel.

At least up to the point when M.J. came in and interrupted them. The scary thing was that now Elle was afraid to find out if that would have been true the whole way.

If the answer was no, she might as well give up hope. Until last night, she couldn’t imagine that she, Elle Hawthorne, could actually feel pleasure—so much pleasure. No other man had been able to make her feel a thing.

How could Chase have that kind of power?

Maybe lots of men had it and she just didn’t know. She hadn’t tried enough of them, maybe. Before Derek, she’d stayed away from sex for a long, long time. And even though her need to see if she could be a whole, normal woman was one of the reasons she’d broken up her marriage to Derek, she actually hadn’t been very courageous about getting out and finding her answer. Her divorce had been final for two years and she’d only dated Tim and Matt. One a year.

And until Chase came along, she really had almost decided just to let the whole matter slide. She was happy, she had work she loved. Why mess with that?

Memories picked at the edges of her mind, poked into her thoughts like shards of smoked glass, broken and jagged, lessened by the years but still there. Still there. The relentless sweaty hand covering her mouth until she bit her own lip. The cruel unending pressure of the knees against her hips.

But Chase wasn’t like that. Somehow, he just wasn’t. She couldn’t put a name to how he was different but being with him had somehow eased her up another notch out of the despair.

Now the question was, did she really have the guts to sleep with Chase and find out if his magic touch would carry her all the way?

This had to be something really special between them. Didn’t it? Especially if Missy Jo had sensed the attraction when they came back from the dance floor?

Poor Missy Jo. She’d been so upset with herself for coming back to the room at the wrong time, when she liked to think she was Cupid’s helper.

Elle dragged her mind away from the one problem to glance at the other.

The dog looked so lethargic that a new stab of fear went through her.

She tried to push it away by remembering what Carlie always told her: You’re only human, so you can’t save them all. Yet with this pitiful, broken animal looking up at her out of mismatched blue and brown eyes, even thinking those words seemed like a death knell instead of a comfort.

Elle watched the street signs and the traffic and tried to think about something, anything, besides this dog and Chase Lomax. She sat up straight, shook her head to clear it, and rolled the passenger-side window down for more fresh air. This was stupid. Why, even with these two predicaments, should she feel such holes in her defenses?

It had been months and months—no, probably more like years—since she’d had the dream of being smothered that used to wake her sweating in the night. Long ago. That was in the past and it was going to stay there. She’d whipped the fear for good the first time she’d fought a bull.

But now, for no good reason, here she was in broad daylight with her chest so tight she could hardly take a breath. No way. No way would she even think about it. Whatever happened to this dog was meant to be.

And she’d take the same attitude toward Chase. If she saw him around the hotel, or if he called her, she would see what move he made and react on instinct, the way she did with the bulls.

For half her life, she’d had to fight the fear dragon and she’d killed it. That was where she was right now: still standing with her foot on its neck and her blade through its heart.

She lifted the switch on the door, rolled up the window again and punched the accelerator when the light turned green. She tried to hum along with some tuneless song on the radio while she gave herself the same lecture she’d used since she’d found some self-help books in the school library at fourteen.

You’re a positive person, Farrell. That’s your nature. You like to have fun. You like to laugh. So do it. The human mind can only think of one thing at a time and you can decide what that thing is. Don’t let the negative thoughts in. Think about something else.

But what came to her immediately was another worry, the money worry. She looked at the now-sparkling clean dog with his nose on his front paws. Lying in his new large-sized carrier on the passenger seat of Missy Jo’s truck. The carrier had put more of a burden on her credit card and then the veterinarian’s fee had nearly maxed it out.

“She ran every test in the book on you, Kodi,” Elle said. “Nothing else is wrong with you. But if you want your leg and your shoulder to heal, you have to eat.”

Kodi closed his eyes.

“You’re malnourished,” she said. “You know you’re hungry. Why won’t you eat?”

Trouble was, he had no reserves. A few more days with no food and he’d be history. At least he was still drinking water.

She held on to that thought while she watched the road awhile, forcing herself to really look at the other cars, the buildings along the road, the scenery up ahead. Controlling her mind. Then she took a deep, long breath and glanced at the dog again. His eyes were still closed.

“Don’t you die on me, you scruffy mutt,” she said, in her growly, tough voice. “I’ve got too much money tied up in you now.”

He didn’t make a move. He was getting weaker.

She pushed that thought away and tried to decide, instead, what she could do that she hadn’t already done. She’d offered him a half-dozen different dog foods or more and he’d turned his nose up at them all. Same with the cat food. Same with the high-dollar kind of kibble this doctor had tried. Farrell had brought a sample bag of it with her, though, hoping that if she added warm water to make a gravy, he might take a bite. Surely once he ate anything at all, he’d keep on eating.