Head Over Heels: Drive Me Wild / Midnight Cravings

Chapter Six

It was still muggy outside at 7:00 p.m. A milky haze of mist hung over the soccer field, with a great orange ball of sun dipping lower behind the goalposts. The buzz of locusts filled the evening air.

Luke waited for her by the barn. He was grinding out the stub of a cigarette with his toe when she walked up.

“Thought you stopped that years ago,” she said to him.

“Did,” he said, with a puff of smoke. “Just every once in a while…”

She shrugged, thinking of the entire box of chocolate marshmallow cookies she’d consumed during a marathon viewing of Pride and Prejudice after Michael had left. She was hardly one to point fingers. “I guess we all do things that aren’t good for us once in a while.”

He looked at her for a moment. “Yeah, well, I won’t tell if you won’t.”

She hesitated. Was he talking about smoking or…? Or nothing. Of course he meant smoking. “I’m not going to tell,” she said flippantly. “The kids don’t need to know what a dubious role model you really are.”

He raised an eyebrow, resting his gaze on hers for a moment. “Think you’re a better one?”

She straightened. “I’ll be an excellent influence, Luke. You know I was a great student. You used to make fun of me for it all the time.”

He gave a laugh and started off toward the bus, like the Pied Piper, so sure she would follow him that he didn’t even look back.

She did.

“I don’t think I made fun of you for being a good student,” he said lazily. “As I recall, it was for sucking up to the teachers.”

“I did not suck up to the teachers!”

“Geez, Grace, you needed an extra locker just for all the polished red apples you brought in for Mrs. MacGonagle.”

“Once,” Grace said, her face going hot immediately. She had taken so much grief for that. “Once I brought in apples for Mrs. MacGonagle, and it was only because my mother told her we had such a huge harvest from the apple tree that she was going to have to throw them away if no one wanted them. And they weren’t polished.”

“Okay,” Luke said, splaying his arms as he walked. “If you say so.”

“What about you? As I recall you were an all-A student, even while you were doing your broody James Dean thing. You even got that big scholarship.”

“I never sucked up.” He smiled, but it was a smile that said he didn’t want to talk about anything personal if it had to do with himself. He kept walking until he got to the bus. “Okay,” he said, leaning on the yellow vehicle. “Go to it.”

“Okay.” If he didn’t want to talk about it, they wouldn’t talk about it.

She walked past him and into the bus. He followed this time.

It was as hot as a sauna inside. “Comfortable?” Grace asked with a wan smile. “If not, I can turn on the air conditioner. Oh, wait, there isn’t an air conditioner.”

“I’m fine,” Luke said. “But if you’re hot, go ahead and turn on the fan. That should help.”

She gave him a look. “You’ve never driven this bus in the summer, have you?”

“Sure I have. Now get going so you can pass the test and drive it yourself this summer.”

“All right, all right.” She proceeded to complete the safety check she’d have to perform for the final portion of the test on Friday. She checked the windows, the locks, the lights and signals, gauges, seat belts, mats, steering wheel and everything else that moved, lit, opened, closed, signaled or stuck out.

Including the Bodily Fluid Clean-up Kit.

“Which looks fine,” Grace pronounced, sitting in the driver’s seat backward, facing Luke. “Now. Did I forget anything?”

He shook his head. “Just remember to take the keys out of the ignition when you’re finished. Carol Borden forgot that twice.”

Was he ever, even once, going to admit she’d done a good job? She doubted it. To Luke, it seemed, complimenting Grace would mean a huge compromise of his principles. If she drove the bus through a flood and around a tornado, saving scores of children in her charge, he’d probably only comment on whether or not she fully depressed the parking brake afterward.

She leaned back against the steering wheel and crossed her arms in front of her. “So why do you know all this, Luke? Is it a prerequisite for becoming the headmaster?”

“I was the driver here for five years.”

“Right,” she scoffed, picking idly at some duct tape that was covering a hole on the back of the seat. “After that football scholarship to Stanford, you decided to come back home and drive a bus.”

“I didn’t go to Stanford,” he said quietly.

Grace was about to toss off a joke when she noticed how still his expression was and realized he wasn’t kidding. “You’re serious! You didn’t go at all?”

“Nope.”

Suddenly the buzz of the locusts outside seemed very loud.

“Why not?” she asked. “I thought it was a done deal.”

He shrugged. “Nothing’s ever really a done deal, I guess. Good lesson to learn early.”

The scholarship, she remembered well, had been very important to Luke. It was an incredible accomplishment. His parents hadn’t had much money to begin with, but when his mother had died—when he was, what, in ninth grade? Grace wasn’t sure—they’d lost half their income. Luke had taken a part-time job at the Texaco station, but his college prospects looked bleak until his spectacular senior year, when the scouts had come to check him out. His scholarship had been a huge deal in Blue Moon Bay. Even the newspaper covered it.

“Why on earth didn’t you go, Luke?” Grace asked, increasingly curious. Had he just blown it off? Too cool for school? “It was such a great opportunity.”

“It just didn’t work out,” he said shortly. “Bad timing. Forget it, it doesn’t matter now.”

“Well, sure it matters—”

“No.” His tone was hard, and left no room for argument. “It doesn’t.”

Grace looked at him wordlessly for a moment. What had happened to him? How had she never heard anything about it? Maybe she’d just been gone for too long. She was out of the Blue Moon Bay loop.

“What time are you scheduled to take the driving test on Friday?” Luke asked, taking a folded paper out of his back pocket.

It was clear he wasn’t going to talk about it anymore. She’d have to get the scoop from someone else. “Three,” she answered, trying to sound as if she wasn’t still stuck on the scholarship thing.

“All right. Chuck Borden’s going to drive up with you, since you’re not allowed to drive the bus without a commercially licensed driver until you have a CDL yourself.”

“Is Chuck the Spanish teacher?”

“He is. But he’s also the other bus driver. He took the run in order to earn a little extra. It works well for him, but it also means that he’s on a tight schedule. He does his run, then starts his classes. He won’t be available as back-up for you.”

“Who says I’m going to need back-up?”

“No one. I hope.”

“Well, I won’t,” she said with determination. “I’ll be here every day.”

“Assuming you pass the test. Don’t get ahead of yourself, or you’ll lose sight of that goal.”

“I don’t think so. I’m very well aware that the test is coming up.”

“You worried?”

“No,” she lied. “Not a bit.”

His mouth quirked into a half-smile as he leaned forward and handed her the piece of paper he’d taken out of his pocket. “This is the route you’re going to be taking Monday morning. Assuming you pass the test.”

“I’ll pass,” she said, studying the list. Some of the students were quite far-flung. “This is going to take forever.”

“It’s about an hour.”

“You really do need transportation,” she mused. “This one here on Saltside Lane would take half an hour to get to if you took a direct route. It would be hard for nine-to-fivers to get a kid here and still get to work on time unless one of the parents were working in town. And, God knows, there aren’t any jobs here.”

Luke gave a half smile, then said, “That’s Donald Henderson. He’s one of our scholarship kids. There’s no way in the world his parents could get him here themselves.”

She looked at the remaining addresses, and the geography of Blue Moon Bay and the surrounding area came back to her with complete clarity. Some of the students lived in multimillion-dollar homes in Cape Trayhorn Estates, and some lived in rowhouses along the main streets of town.

“You know, I never thought I’d be driving my own kid around Blue Moon Bay to school, much less anyone else’s.” She sighed. “So much for moving up in life.”

“What the hell’s wrong with you, Grace?” Luke asked in a sharp voice.

She was startled by his question and his tone. “What do you mean?”

“Why have you always been so down on Blue Moon Bay? Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve talked about getting out of here, like it’s some kind of hellhole. It’s a nice town, Grace, and it’s home to a lot of nice people.”

Humiliation filled her. “I didn’t mean to insult anyone, Luke, it’s just not the place I want to be.”

“You say that like anyone who does want to be here is some stupid peasant who doesn’t know any better.” He stood up and started for the door, then stopped and looked her dead in the eye. “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve wanted things bigger, better.” He hesitated, then added, “Richer. How’s it working out for you?”

She gaped at him in silence, completely unable to formulate a response.

“Good luck on the test,” he said abruptly, then left, shaking his head.

She watched him for a moment, then sprang from the seat and out into the thick evening air behind him. “Wait a minute, Luke!”

He stopped, and she could see him take a long breath before turning to face her. As though he was mustering patience.

That galled her.

“What?” he asked wearily.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She wished she had a better argument, but the words had been stunned right out of her. They’d come back tonight, probably, around midnight. “You don’t know me at all,” she said lamely.

“You’re right—I don’t. I only know what I see.”

She went to him boldly and stood before him. “What do you see, Luke? Huh? What do you see?”

He looked down at her, and for a moment she saw tenderness cross his expression. But it was only for a moment, and it was gone quickly. “It doesn’t matter what I see.”

“No,” she said, wishing she really felt that way. “That’s right, it doesn’t matter. So keep it to yourself, okay?”

“You’re absolutely right, that’s what I should have done in the first place.”

“You bet it is. You know, you don’t have a clue what I’ve been through.” Self-pity rose in her breast, but she pushed it back down. It was enough that she knew she was a good person and, more than that, a good mother. She was proud of the way she’d held it together when Michael left, proud that Jimmy thought of her as strong and brave and someone who could take care of him when he was sad and confused. She hadn’t let him see her tears, or her anger, and she was proud of herself for that too.

Whatever it was that Luke hated so much about her was going to have to be his own problem. She couldn’t afford to let it affect her own confidence and self-esteem. She’d already taken enough of a beating in that regard.

“And you can just go to hell, Luke Stewart,” she fumed, stalking past him to her car.

He said something behind her, but she didn’t hear what it was and she didn’t want to stop and ask. She just kept going until she got to the old BMW that had seemed like such a prize once, and got in, praying it would start.

It did, thank God, and she whipped out of the driveway without looking back at him.

* * *

He was glad she hadn’t heard his apology. He didn’t want to apologize, damn it, it had been burning in him for so long.

Ever since that night on the Ferris wheel a thousand years ago.

He’d wanted her for a long time before that night, though it wasn’t something he went around talking about. For one thing, it was a betrayal of Michael, though he richly deserved it, but for another, Luke just wasn’t the kind of guy who needed anyone or anything. It was embarrassing to spend as much time as he did pining for a girl, much less one he could never have.

Then there had been that one brief moment, the unbelievable luck of finding her in Ocean City, when it had seemed as if maybe—just maybe—he wasn’t crazy to think he might have a shot with her. That maybe she felt the same way he did.

It was over quickly, though. Of course. Just as he was about to brave the subject, she’d raised the specter of Michael, making it very clear that she didn’t want him to know. She was terrified of losing Michael, it seemed, and not because she loved him. Hell, if she’d loved him, she wouldn’t have been with Luke. No, she wanted the Bowes name and everything that went with it. She wanted to be half of the golden couple of Blue Moon Bay. No matter what the cost.

For a while, Luke hadn’t wanted to believe that Grace was so shallow. But Michael had told him exactly what the arrangement was, just a few months after they’d gotten married. While Grace had stayed behind, pregnant, Michael had come back to town for his grandmother’s funeral. During that short week, Michael had slept with at least two women that Luke knew of. Just like in high school. As a matter of fact, he’d left Harley’s Bar with one of them about ten minutes after bragging to Luke about the “open arrangement” he and Grace had in their marriage.

She made the deal with me. She’s got what she wants, Michael had told Luke. Big house, imported car, President of the Junior League. And I get a good-looking arm piece when I have to go out.

So what do you want with someone like Mary Jo Wiley? Luke had asked, indicating one of the tightjeaned women who was waving to Michael from the bar.

Excitement, man. Michael’s laugh had been harsh. Heat. Grace is as cold as ice in the bedroom.

Luke knew with some certainty that that wasn’t true. Or if it was, it wasn’t her fault.

Still, who was he to question what went on in someone else’s marriage? It was their problem, not his.

His problem, now, was that Michael was history, and Grace was back, and some part of Luke’s eighteen-year-old libido remembered her.

* * *

Jimmy held tightly onto his mother’s hand. He knew it was babyish, but he was just so excited he couldn’t help it.

For the first time, he was beginning to feel like maybe this town wasn’t so bad. Maybe he actually even liked the quiet streets and the big yards and the fact that he was able to get a dog—a real, live dog—for the first time in his life.

They were at the pound, although his mother called it the humane society, and a guy in a blue uniform was opening a door for them to go look at the dogs.

As soon as he stepped through, Jimmy smiled. He couldn’t help it. The room smelled like pee and the sound of yelping and barking was so loud, he could barely hear his mom telling him to keep his fingers out of the cage, but to him it was heaven.

He walked slowly up the cement aisle, being sure to make eye contact with each dog along the way. He was positive that when he saw his dog, he’d know it. He walked past big scruffy dogs, and little happy dogs, and sleek dogs, and sleeping dogs, but only one dog came over and poked his nose through the metal fence at Jimmy. After that, he didn’t need to look in the dog’s hopeful brown eyes to know.

“This is the one,” he announced.

His mother frowned and came over to him. “Really?” She poked a finger through the cage—just what she’d told Jimmy not to do—and the dog licked her excitedly. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. And his name is…” He thought for a minute. Last night when he was lying in bed, the name he’d come up with had seemed so perfect. Now, though, he was afraid it was a little dumb.

“What’s his name?” his mom asked.

He decided to go ahead and say it. After all, his mom never laughed at him, but she’d tell him the truth. “It’s Tonto. Do you think that’s too goofy?”

“No, it’s great. Look, he even answers to it. Tonto!” She made her voice high. “Tonto! Here, boy!”

The little dog looked up and tilted his head to the side, wagging his tail.

“See?” She laughed. “That’s his name, all right.”

Jimmy smiled and touched the dog’s cold nose. “What kind of breed do you think he is?”

“He looks a little like a Jack Russell terrier. With, maybe, some springer spaniel or something mixed in. I’m not sure.” She stood up and smoothed her skirt down. She was all dressed up to go to some big test in the afternoon. “Are you sure this is the one you want, Jimmy?” she asked seriously. “Because you can’t just bring him back, you know.”

“I know. This is the one I want. And I’ll never want to give him back,” he said ferociously, thinking of his father and how long it had been since he’d come to see Jimmy and his mom. “Ever.”

* * *

Later that night, Grace had her own taste of excitement.

“Congratulations, you’re a bus driver!” Jenna raised her champagne glass and clinked it against Grace’s, sloshing the fizzy drink onto their hands.

“Thank you, thank you very much.” Grace raised her glass to her lips and closed her eyes, relishing the yeasty taste of her favorite vintage. She had half a case of it left—one of the more valuable parts of her divorce settlement—and the way things were going, she might just work her way through it this weekend.

She raised her glass to her new license, which she and Jenna had propped against a candle in the middle of the table. “To me,” she said with a giggle. “Oh, and to Bob for taking care of all the kids—and the dog—tonight, so we could have a girls’ night.”

“To Bob,” Jenna repeated, raising her own glass again. She took a sip then set it down and asked, “Say, where’s your mom?”

“Bridge club.”

Jenna frowned. “I thought they met during the day.”

“She’s got a bunch of them now.” Grace shrugged. “Several of them meet at night. In fact, they go really late.” Silently, Grace hoped that she didn’t end up at the high end of middle-aged alone and filling her time with card-playing.

“Ooh, maybe she’ll meet someone.” Jenna smiled. “Some dashing, card-playing Omar Sharif type.”

“Please,” Grace said. “Mother hasn’t been on a date since before I was born. I can’t even imagine her starting now.”

Jenna nodded. “It would be weird. But what about you? Think you’re going to get back into dating here?”

Grace groaned. “Who would I go out with? You snagged the only good man in Blue Moon Bay. And he’s not even from here.” Bob had moved into town ten years ago when he’d got a job with a carpentry company. He and Jenna had met when she’d hired him to build bookshelves.

Jenna raised an eyebrow. “I can think of one or two guys here who used to be interesting to you,” she said in a sing-songy voice.

“My track record with old Blue Moon love interests isn’t so good, Jen.”

“Well, Michael didn’t turn out so hot, but maybe someone else would. Let’s do your tarot cards and see,” Jenna said eagerly, reaching for her bag. “I brought them along so I could practice on you.”

“No, no, no, I don’t believe in those things.”

“So what’s the harm then?” Jenna asked, opening a small leather pouch. “Just do it for fun. Here.” She thrust the large deck into Grace’s hands. “Shuffle.”

“This is stupid,” Grace protested, shuffling.

“No, it’s not. Now cut the deck.”

“I don’t believe any of it.” She cut the deck.

“The cards will tell,” Jenna said, in a spooky voice, then laughed. “Pick one and put it here, then put the next one here.”

Grace picked cards according to Jenna’s direction, and Jenna set them up in an elaborate layout. Finally, with ten cards facedown on the table in the shape of a pentagon, she put the rest of the deck aside and started turning the cards over.

“This is where you are right now,” Jenna said. “This card represents whatever is either helping or hindering you. Hmm. The king of cups.” She considered the card. “A man with dark hair and blue eyes. Who could that be?”

“This is rigged.” Grace grabbed the book from Jenna and read the description for herself. Sure enough, it said the card could indicate a man with dark hair and blue eyes. A powerful yet fair man. An honest man.

Or it could represent those qualities, perhaps in someone else Grace knew. That’s what it had to mean, she figured, not an actual man with dark hair and blue eyes. And certainly not Luke Stewart, who, when last she’d seen him, had lambasted her for no good reason. She looked closer. The book didn’t say anything about personal attacks.

“You picked the card,” Jenna reminded her lightly, taking back the book. “This guy looks pretty significant in your life. Maybe a boss?” She winked. “In any event, you should be hearing from him soon.”

“Like on Monday? When I go to work? Remarkable prediction.”

Jenna ignored her sarcasm. “And there’s something about a journey. Maybe that’s driving the bus.”

Grace thought of the long route Luke had drawn up for her. “It’s going to feel like a journey. Every day.” Privately, she thought about her return to Blue Moon Bay and what a journey that had been, both literally and figuratively. What about the future journey back to New Jersey? Was she really going to be able to do that in a year, as she’d planned? Already, she was in a bigger financial hole than she’d anticipated. Grace had a bad feeling that her budget wasn’t going to work out quite the way she’d hoped.

“Well, don’t worry, there’s great prosperity here too. A huge fortune or inheritance.” She looked up at Grace. “Got any fabulously rich relatives I don’t know about?”

Grace flashed her a wry grin. “If I do, I don’t know about them either.”

Jenna looked back at the cards, then at the book she was using to check her interpretations. “Maybe it’s going to be more of a spiritual fortune. Yup, three of cups, here’s another love card.”

Grace watched, sipping her champagne with increasing frequency, as Jenna told her that her entire future was wrapped up with this dark-haired, blue-eyed man.

What if that were true? Grace wondered. Could she even imagine getting involved with a new man? It wasn’t that she still felt stung by Michael. Enough time had passed that she’d grown to realize she and Michael had never had the kind of close relationship she’d pretended they did. He didn’t get her jokes. Didn’t care about her life or her interests. Barely even showed any curiosity about their son. She was better off without him, and she knew that now.

But a new man? It was hard to picture. When she tried to imagine someone like the man Jenna described, all she could see was Luke Stewart.

And he certainly wasn’t a romantic interest for her. Or vice versa. That couldn’t be more plain.

When she was finished with the reading, Jenna sat back and said, “The cards don’t lie.”

Grace brought her focus back to Jenna. “Maybe not, but I’m not so sure about the reader.”

“Hey, I object to that! Out of seventy-six cards, you picked these ten. Check the interpretations yourself.” Jenna thumped her hand on the Mother Earth Tarot book on the table. “It’s very clear.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “Then I guess a tall, dark stranger will be coming to town to sweep me off my feet soon.” She shook her head. “Seriously, Jenna, that’d be great for starry-eyed teenagers who want their fortunes told, because you know there’s always romance in their future, but I’m not buying this for me at all.”