Remember

He had been part of Nicky’s crew for just over a year, and he had seen a lot, learned a lot, working with her and the guys. He was twenty-seven and had been in the television business for only five years, and he knew he was green in some respects. But Nicky had been helpful and very nice to him right from the beginning, had treated him like a seasoned veteran. She was a stickler about punctuality and many other things as well, and a perfectionist, and sometimes she could blow her stack. But she was a real pro, and he’d do just about anything for her. He wished she could find a good guy. There were times when she looked sad, and her eyes held a strange, distant expression as if she were remembering something awful or painful. And there was some sort of mystery in her past. It was about a man she’d been going with before he had joined her team. Arch and Jimmy were pretty close-mouthed about it, though, and he didn’t like to ask too many questions. Still, it was a shame she was alone. What a waste of a lovely woman -

‘Luke! Luke!’

The sound engineer opened his eyes, sat up with a jolt on hearing his name being called. He looked down. At the base of the monument people were milling about, as they usually were, since this spot was command headquarters for the student movement. The foreign press corps tended to congregate in the area and there was always a great deal of activity.

Luke spotted his buddy Tony Marsden immediately. Tony was beckoning to him.

Luke waved back, and stood up. ‘I’ll go and see what Tony wants,’ he said to Clee. ‘Maybe he knows something we don’t, has some new information. I won’t be long.’

‘Take your time, Luke, I ain’t going nowhere.’ Not for a day or two at least, Clee added under his breath. He knew he would be leaving China soon, though. The end was in sight. He sat gazing down into the square, his elbows on his knees, his head propped in his hands. His face settled into morose lines; he felt sad for the kids - so idealistic, so innocent, so very brave. When he had first come to Beijing almost six weeks ago they had been full of excitement. And hope. They had spoken stirring words about liberty and democracy, and had sung their songs, played their guitars. Their guitars were still tonight. Soon their voices would be still. He shuddered slightly and goose flesh sprang up on his skin. He hated to think of their fate. He realized they were in grave danger, although he had not voiced this to Nicky or anyone else. He did not have to; they all knew that time was running out for the students.

Suddenly, Clee saw Nicky walking through the square towards the monument. Like Changan Avenue, Tiananmen was extremely well illuminated with numerous tall street lamps, each one topped with branches of lights, about nine altogether and shaded in white opaque glass. The square was so bright it was almost like daylight and everyone was visible; it was even possible to read a book quite comfortably.

A smile touched his eyes at the sight of Nicky, and he clambered down off the ledge and dodged through the crowd, hurrying forward to meet her.

Nicky spotted him and waved.

He raised his hand in greeting, and a moment later he was drawing to a standstill in front of her, smiling broadly. ‘I knew you’d be out here before long,’ he said.

She nodded. ‘I had to be here, Clee. My instinct tells me the situation is about to blow.’

‘Wide open,’ he confirmed, then took her arm, guided her away from the monument. ‘Do you mind if we walk around for a bit? I need to stretch my legs, I’ve been sitting on that ledge for about an hour.’

‘No, of course I don’t mind, that’s what I’d like to do, and perhaps we’ll see Yoyo. He’s usually with Chai Ling and some of the other student leaders. He might know something new.’

‘And he’s constantly in touch with the Flying Tigers. I’ve noticed several of them whizzing around on their bikes in the last hour,’ Clee remarked, referring to a motorcycle brigade of young entrepreneurs who had also been dubbed ‘Paul Reveres’ by the American press. They roared all over Beijing, carrying messages, monitoring troop movements and the actions of the police, and in general acting as look-outs for the students.

‘Yoyo’s probably in the tent encampment. Shall we head over there?’ she suggested.

‘You got it.’

‘Where’s Luke? Arch said he was with you.’

‘He was, but he just went off with that guy from the BBC, Tony Marsden. They’re somewhere around. Do you need him?’

‘No, I just wondered, that’s all. And talking of the BBC, have you seen Kate Adie this evening?’

‘She’s probably somewhere in the crowd. There are a helluva lot of foreign press out tonight - trouble in the wind.’

Nicky looked at him swiftly. ‘I think the crackdown’s almost upon us, don’t you?’

‘Yes. The students and the government have reached an impasse, something’s got to give. It’ll have to be the students, I’m afraid, and we’re going to see a lot of force thrown against them.’

Nicky shivered despite the warmth of the evening. ‘That’s an awful prospect, but I have to agree. Where’s your camera?’

‘Strapped to my shoulder under my jacket. My buddies from Magnum and the Associated Press are doing exactly the same thing. As are most of the photographers. It’s the only way to fly.’

‘Clee …’

‘Yes, Nick?’ He glanced at her questioningly.

‘It’s going to get very dangerous out here … real soon.’

‘I’m damned sure of it. And before you say it, yes, I’ll be careful.’ A faint smile played around his mouth. ‘As careful as you are.’

‘I don’t take unnecessary chances, even though Arch seems to think I do. I try to minimize the odds against me.’

‘That’s another thing we have in common,’ Clee said.

‘What’s the other?’

‘We both have nerves of steel.’

‘I suppose we do,’ she agreed, laughing. ‘We have to have in this business. Just as we have to have a sixth sense for danger.’

Clee nodded but did not say anything else, and they walked on in companionable silence for a few minutes. As they came to the tent encampment, Nicky turned to him. ‘You know this place has really taken on a life of its own, what with the tents and the buses. It’s like a small town, and -’

‘A shanty town,’ Clee cut in.

‘You’re right, and I hope to God it doesn’t smell tonight.’

‘I’m sure it won’t, they’ve probably removed the garbage by now. In any case, there’s a nice breeze blowing up.’

‘The other day when I came looking for Yoyo it was very … malodorous. That’s the only word for it. The stench was disgusting, awful, rotting food, unwashed bodies, heaven knows what else, and I felt nauseous the entire time I was in here.’

Nicky sniffed as they entered the encampment and walked past several buses where some of the students lived. The air was fresh, and the area looked as if it had been recently swept and cleaned up. It was perfectly clean; there was no trash in sight.

Nicky was constantly surprised when she saw the neat lines of olive-green tents, waterproof and commodious, which had been sent from Hong Kong. They were very orderly, arranged in horizontal patterns with almost military precision, and lettered signs hung over each group, the signs identifying where the different contingents had come from. There were delegations of students from almost every university in every province of China.

Weeks ago she had discovered that most of the students slept during the day, mainly because the action was at night. Now the majority of the tents were empty, although a few late stragglers were only just emerging, getting ready for the rest of the evening and the early hours of the morning which lay ahead.

Vendors hung around on the pavement, selling sodas, bottled water, ices, popsicles, and other small snacks.

Clee glanced at her. ‘Would you like a popsicle?’

She made a face, shook her head.

The young Chinese student, Chin Young Yu, nicknamed Yoyo, was standing with a young woman in the centre of the encampment near his own tent. They both wore blue jeans and white cotton shirts. She was attractive and looked to be about the same age as Yoyo, who was twenty-two. Nicky wondered if this was his girlfriend, whom he had mentioned to her and who had been visiting relatives in Shanghai for the past few weeks. He was deep in conversation with the girl, but when he saw them he broke off and waved enthusiastically. Turning to her, he said something, and then hurried over to greet them.

Yoyo was an art student, and Nicky had met him quite by accident in Tiananmen Square when she had first arrived in Beijing. She had been trying to speak to some of the students that day, actually seeking someone who understood English. Yoyo had approached her with a smile, and told her, in fairly understandable English, that he would be happy to help her if he could. He had been useful in all sorts of ways; he had passed on information, introduced her to other student leaders, such as Chai Ling and Wuer Kaixi, and kept her abreast of developments amongst the students and the leaders of the movement. He was bright, friendly, and she had grown quite fond of him, as had the crew, and Clee. They worried about Yoyo, and what would happen to him, especially when all this was over.

‘Nicky!’ Yoyo cried, coming towards her, smiling widely, his hand outstretched.

‘Hello, Yoyo,’ she said, shaking his hand. ‘Clee and I were looking for you.’

‘Good evening, Clee,’ Yoyo said.

‘Hi, Yoyo! What’s going on?’ Clee asked as he took the student’s hand.

Yoyo’s expression changed, and he looked grim as he confided quietly, ‘Bad things coming. Army drop canisters of tear gas from helicopters. On square. Tonight. You see. You have masks? Also, troops coming.’

‘Tonight? The troops are coming tonight?’ Nicky probed.

Yoyo nodded. ‘I hear troops hidden in buildings near square. They come. Very sure. Bad things happen. You tell world, yes?’

‘We’ll certainly keep telling the world, Yoyo,’ Nicky assured him. ‘But do you believe the People’s Liberation Army will open fire on the people?’

‘Oh yes. Yes.’ He nodded emphatically. ‘Some students say no, not possible. The People’s Liberation Army our army, they say. Won’t kill us. They foolish. Army very disciplined. Army follows orders. I know this.’

Nicky stared at him, her clear, intelligent eyes riveted on his face. ‘You should leave the square. Now. While it’s still possible, still safe.’

‘That wise, yes,’ Yoyo agreed. ‘But not everyone go, Nicky. Hard get everyone go. Blood spilled tonight.’

Nicky shivered involuntarily and looked pointedly at Clee.

Clee said, ‘What about Chai Ling and some of the other leaders? Can’t they get the students to leave?’

Yoyo shrugged. ‘Don’t know.’

‘Where are they?’ Clee asked.

‘Don’t see tonight. You like water? Soda?’

‘No thanks,’ Clee answered.

Nicky shook her head, smiling at Yoyo.

The young Chinese was thoughtful, then he remarked, ‘Movement lost spirit after martial law declared. Students very depressed. True, they should leave. They won’t. End will be bad thing.’

‘Come with us,’ Nicky said urgently. ‘Come with us to the Martyrs’ Monument, find one of the bullhorns you’ve been using, and relay a message to the students. They’ll listen to you, you’re one of their leaders. Ask them to leave, beg them, if necessary. And you must leave with them. If you and the other students get out of Tiananmen while there’s still time, you’ll save your lives. Please, Yoyo, do this. It will be an act of bravery if you lead the students away from the square. It will be a good thing to do.’

She reached out impulsively, took hold of his arm, stared deeply into his eyes. ‘Please, Yoyo, don’t stay here. You could be killed.’

Her words appeared to reach him. ‘I come monument. Soon. Bring Mai, my girlfriend. Go, Nicky. I come soon. I promise.’

‘We’ll be waiting for you. Don’t be too long, Yoyo. There’s not much time left.’

Nicky and Clee returned to the Martyrs’ Monument.

They found Luke waiting for them, and Nicky told him what had transpired with Yoyo, repeating what the student leader had said to them about the troops coming that night or in the early hours of the morning.

‘Oh Jesus!’ Luke exclaimed. ‘Those kids don’t stand a chance if that happens.’

‘They’re sitting ducks,’ Nicky pointed out. ‘They’re centred in a relatively small area, in relation to the overall size of the square, which is three-quarters empty right now. If the army comes in from the other side, it’ll have a clear run straight across the square.’

‘That’s right,’ Luke muttered, sounding troubled.

‘Let’s hope Yoyo can persuade the students to leave before that happens,’ Clee said, wanting to be positive.

Nicky was silent, her expression anxious, but within seconds she brightened. ‘Here he is now, thank goodness. Perhaps we can get him up on the monument with a bullhorn at once. He can at least warn the kids.’

Yoyo and his girlfriend Mai joined them. They were holding hands, and Yoyo said, ‘This my friend, Mai. Her English not very excellent. Sorry.’

‘No need to apologize,’ Nicky replied with genuine warmth. She looked at Mai, and was startled by her. When she had seen the girl a little earlier, she had not realized how lovely Mai was. Her features were beautiful, and her black, almond-shaped eyes were enormous in her sweet, innocent young face. She had long glossy black hair, was a small and slender creature, and everything about her was delicate, almost dainty. Nicky thought she was enchanting, like a little doll.

Thrusting out her hand, Nicky said with a welcoming smile, ‘I’m pleased to know you, Mai.’

The girl smiled back, although rather shyly, showing perfect white teeth. She took Nicky’s hand in hers, and Nicky was surprised at the firmness of her hold; her grip was surprisingly strong. ‘Hi,’ she said softly.

Next, Mai shook hands with Clee and Luke, who murmured their greetings and smiled, obviously appreciating the girl’s inherent loveliness as much as Nicky.

Nicky swung her eyes to Yoyo. ‘Did you find a bullhorn?’

‘Not necessary. I don’t speak. Chai Ling speak. Later.’

‘You’ve seen her?’ Nicky asked, her voice suddenly sharp.

‘Yes, near goddess. Chai Ling will take bullhorn, tell students to go home. She promise.’

‘Let’s hope she keeps that promise,’ Clee murmured. ‘In the meantime, let’s take the weight off our feet.’

The five of them found places on the ledges that ran around the base and lower part of the monument, and sat down to wait for Arch and Jimmy. And hopefully Chai Ling, the respected leader of the student movement, commander-in-chief of the Tiananmen demonstrators, and a graduate student in psychology at Beijing Normal University.

It was almost one o’clock in the morning of 3 June when Arch and Jimmy finally appeared. They came running into the square at a rapid jog. As they drew to a stop in front of the small group clustered together on the monument, Nicky immediately noticed their troubled expressions.

‘What is it?’ she cried, glancing at Arch and then at Jimmy, a blonde brow raised speculatively. She sat forward tensely.

Between short gasps, trying to catch his breath, Arch blurted out, ‘The troops are coming down Changan Avenue from the east. We just saw them as we were heading towards the square and -’

Jimmy interjected, ‘They’re being stopped by the people.’

‘What do you mean?’ Nicky cried, looking puzzled.

‘The citizens of Beijing have formed a blockade … with their bodies. A human blockade. To stop the army getting to the students in the square. They’re keeping the army out of the square,’ Jimmy explained.

‘I’ll be damned,’ Luke said.

Clee did not wait to hear another word, and neither did Nicky. They wanted to see everything for themselves, as always the observers, the reporters.

Simultaneously they both jumped off the ledge where they were sitting together and began to run towards Tiananmen Gate which led into Changan Avenue. They were closely followed by Yoyo, who was clutching Mai’s hand, and behind them came Luke, sprinting forward at such a speed he soon caught up with Clee and Nicky. Arch and Jimmy took a few seconds to catch their breath, and then they also took off at a fast pace, making for the entrance onto the avenue.

Nicky and Clee were the first to reach the crowds of people flooding Changan. And almost instantly they were separated from each other by the swirling masses.

She had never seen anything like this in her life. It was formidable. What Jimmy had said was true. The citizens were blocking the army, preventing the soldiers from moving forward, literally holding them back with their bodies. They truly were a human shield. She saw that they were actually pushing the soldiers back. And what an army it was. Kids, she thought in astonishment, as she stared at the troops. They were just kids; they looked even younger than the students.

Nicky lost no time. Without considering her own safety, she moved closer to the crowds, needing to be nearer the action. Within seconds she was surrounded by people, caught in the middle of them against her own volition, and swept forward by the force and movement of their bodies. There was a lot of pushing and shoving. Several times she swayed, almost went down. At one moment, as people pressed into her from behind, she reached out, desperately clutched at a man’s arm. He swung around angrily, then quickly helped her to regain her balance. Almost immediately, and unexpectedly, a young woman grabbed at her jacket, as the crowd surged forward yet again, carrying everyone closer to the troops. Nicky almost fell because the Chinese woman was clinging to her with such tenacity, but somehow she stayed upright, and they bolstered each other, gave each other physical support. The mass of people swept on and on, and Nicky thought she would stumble or be knocked over, or that she would be trampled. She was conscious of people jostling her, pressing into her from all sides. And so hemmed in was she that she had trouble keeping her balance, staying on her feet.

Exactly at the precise moment she experienced her first flicker of panic, wondered if she was going to be crushed to death, she felt a hand grasp her elbow roughly. Half turning her head, looking over her shoulder, she saw Arch standing immediately behind her.

‘Thanks,’ she gasped with relief, then shouted above the noise, ‘The troops seem to be unarmed.’

‘They also look frightened to death.’

‘Bewildered.’

There was a great deal more pushing and shoving and jostling, as well as angry shouting on the part of the Beijingers before they surged onward en masse. They were like a huge tidal wave of immense force and power, as they propelled Nicky and Arch along with them.

Immediately ahead were the young soldiers, none of whom looked to be a day older than eighteen. They were being mauled and bruised and scratched as the people pushed at them, ranted at them. Nicky began to realize that the inflamed citizens of the capital were lecturing the soldiers, scolding them as if they were their children. Most of the troops were milling around in total confusion, and many of them had broken down and were starting to cry.

Clinging to Arch tightly, Nicky exclaimed, ‘These kids don’t know what the hell this is all about!’

‘I’m convinced of it,’ Arch answered, putting his arm around her waist, grabbing her to him, determined to keep her safe in this melee.

Unexpectedly, she saw Jimmy pushing his way closer to them.

How he had found them in the crowds Nicky would never know. He had sprung up as if from nowhere, and swiftly he took hold of her arm. ‘Come on, we’re getting out of this mob!’ he cried.

By using great force and being ruthlessly aggressive, Jimmy and Arch managed to push Nicky and themselves through the seething mass of people until they were finally staggering out onto the extreme edge of Changan Avenue. They were sweating and panting, and the three of them stood huddled together under the trees at the side of the wide boulevard, breathing sighs of relief as they straightened their clothes.

Arch said, ‘By the looks of those kids, we weren’t in danger of being shot at, but we were in danger of being trampled to death by that mob.’

‘Our best bet is to stand here and watch what’s happening from the sidelines,’ Nicky announced.

Arch and Jimmy were startled by her words.

Jimmy said, ‘Hey, that’s a new one for you, kiddo! When have you ever been on the sidelines?’ Not waiting for an answer, he rushed on, ‘But you’re right, it is safer here. Being in the middle of that lot was like being in the centre of … a stampede. And what an army it is … just look at ’em. They’re burdened down with camp gear, canteens and knapsacks, yet they don’t have any weapons.’ He shook his head wonderingly.

‘I told you they weren’t armed, Arch,’ Nicky said.

Clee hurried to join them a few minutes later. His hair was rumpled, his jacket ripped, but otherwise he looked totally unscathed. His Nikon was slung around his neck and there was a triumphant glint in his dark eyes. ‘I got some great shots,’ he told them.

‘Isn’t that a bit dangerous, showing your camera, Clee?’ Jimmy asked, eyeing the Nikon nervously. ‘It’s liable to get pulled off your neck and smashed.’

‘Not by this bunch, James,’ Clee shot back confidently. ‘They’re on my side, on our side. They want their pictures taken … they’re chanting the usual thing … tell the world, tell the world.’

‘But the riot police -’ Arch began and abruptly stopped. ‘I guess there are no police around.’

‘It’s doubtful,’ Clee responded. ‘At this moment, anyhow.’

‘Maybe I should go and get our cameras, try something live with Nicky,’ Jimmy suggested, looking at Arch. ‘We might just get away with it.’

‘No,’ Arch said.

‘I’ll do a phone narration, and we can film on the balcony later, Jimmy, as we planned,’ Nicky soothed, knowing it was hopeless to argue with Arch when he was in this overly-cautious mood. She had frequently been in the line of fire on battlefields and he hadn’t batted an eyelash or said anything about danger. But ever since they had been in Beijing he had been mouthing words of warning constantly, and she couldn’t help wondering why. She would ask him later. Now was not the time. She glanced around, her eyes seeking Luke. He was nowhere to be seen; neither were Yoyo and little Mai. They had been swallowed up by that mass of swaying, shouting people.

But eventually, much to her relief, Luke hove in view, and Yoyo and Mai were with him. She was limping, had obviously hurt her leg or her foot, and Yoyo was helping her.

‘Has Mai been injured?’ Nicky cried in concern, running to them.

‘Not serious,’ Yoyo said. ‘Man stand on Mai’s foot. She okay.’

Nicky put her arm around the Chinese girl’s shoulders in a rather motherly fashion, and the four of them walked over to the spot where the others were gathered.

Luke said to Nicky, ‘It’s surprising the rest of us weren’t hurt. You are okay, aren’t you, Nicky?’

‘I’m fine, thanks, Luke. And presumably you are?’

‘Not a scratch.’

They sat down under the trees on the side of Changan Avenue, wanting to collect themselves and cool off. In spite of the breeze, the air was warm, almost heavy, and both Nicky and Clee took their jackets off. Arch passed around a packet of cigarettes but everyone declined, except for Yoyo. Mai sat next to him, examining her foot, and said something to him in Chinese. He smiled, nodded, quickly turned to Nicky. ‘Mai say foot not broken. Bruised.’

Nicky nodded. ‘Good.’ She leaned forward to Yoyo with enormous urgency. ‘Did you find anything out? Where are those troops from? And what’s happening?’

Yoyo puffed on his cigarette for a second, and then he told her, ‘Troops from far away. From outside Beijing. They march many hours. They told go on manoeuvres. They told go stop troublemakers. They no understand. They afraid. They young boys. People lecture them. Tell them don’t hurt students. Soldiers don’t know this Beijing. Don’t know where this is. They no fight, Nicky. They too scared.’