The Linden Walk

When Lyn had tiptoed downstairs, she knew that her, ‘Yes, please, and a biscuit if there’s one going,’ wasn’t necessary. Already the milk pan was on the stove and three mugs and a plate of scones set on a tray.

‘See, Lyn. Cherry scones from this afternoon. Tilda always makes cherry scones for special occasions. She gave me some leftovers. You’ll have to get used to Rowangarth’s little habits and cherry scone days, and suchlike. You’ll have to get used to being lady of the house. You and Drew will have it all to yourselves, once the Reverend and Aunt Julia have moved into the Bothy. She hopes to be in there by Christmas. It’s going to be just wonderful, isn’t it? So much to look forward to. Tatty and Bill having a Christmas wedding. And then there’ll be yours and Drew’s and by then Gracie will have had sprog number two and she said she wants it christened at All Souls, by Nathan. I shouldn’t wonder if Bas and Gracie don’t come over in the summer, once you’ve set a date, Lyn. The Kentucky Suttons used to come over twice a year, regular as clockwork at Christmas and for a month in the summer. That’s when the Clan were all together and oh, no!’ She ran to the stove as the milk began to froth and boil, removing the pan. ‘Now look what you almost made me do! All this wedding talk!’

They laughed, and Daisy spooned Ovaltine into the pan and whisked it, pouring it frothily into the mugs.

‘Take ours through will you, Lyn, and I’ll take Keth’s up to him and have a peep at the baby. And by the way,’ she said when they were settled once more beside the sitting-room fire. ‘I’m not going to be your matron of honour. If Bas and Gracie are over at the time of the wedding, I think Gracie should be asked. After all, she is family and she’ll be decorating the church for you. She’s smashing with flowers. Served her time as a gardener-cum-land girl at Rowangarth. In Catchpole’s time, that was. Have a scone. They’re delicious.’

‘Okay. So I ask Gracie, but who’ll wear the other dress?’

‘You should ask Tatty. She’d love to do it. Mind, she might be pregnant, by then. Told me they’re going to be very careless about things ’cos they want a family right away. Still, if push comes to shove, I wouldn’t see the other frock go to waste. And had you thought, Lyn? You and me almost next door to each other. Just like it was when we were Wrens. Doesn’t seem like five minutes since I arrived at Hellas House running a temperature, and you looking after me. We’ve come a long way, since then. We’ll be sisters-in-law.’

‘Half-sisters-in-law, if you want to be nit-picky. And Daisy – would you mind if I took my drink upstairs? I’ve got to be up early tomorrow – get the first train out. I’m doing afternoons at the hotel and if I miss that train I’m going to be late for work. Sorry, old love …’

‘And would that be so very awful, considering you’ll be giving notice anyway? Why don’t you pack in working and stay with me till the wedding?’

‘Nothing I’d like more, Daisy, but right now I’m high as a kite. This isn’t the time for decision making. I’ll think about it, though. It’ll all depend on Drew. Can’t wait to see him in the morning – ask him if he really, really wants to marry me.’

‘Idiot,’ Daisy grinned. ‘A Sutton doesn’t go back on his word. Now get yourself off. I’ll follow you when I’ve seen to everything down here. Getting a bit tired myself. But hasn’t it been one heck of a day, Leading-Wren Carmichael?’

‘One absolute corker of a day, Wren Purvis-from-the-bottom-bunk. And I’m glad we’re going to be sisters. I truly am.’

Lyn lay in bed, looking through the uncurtained window at the moon, high in the sky and shining gold now; the same paler moon that was witness to what happened tonight. Because it had happened. Drew had asked her to marry him and she had said yes. Disbelievingly almost, she said, ‘Thanks, Drew, I will.’ Said it nonchalantly, as if she had proposals of marriage every day of the week, and had got rather blasé about them.

She was always doing that; hiding her feelings for fear of being hurt. Because she had been hurt. If worlds could end, then hers would have ended the morning Drew phoned Daisy to tell her he and Kitty were engaged; had met up on a Liverpool dockside and wham! The two of them had spent the night at Kitty’s theatrical digs and the next morning Lyndis Carmichael smiled brilliantly into the phone, wished them both all the very best, then wept as if her heart would never be whole again – nor had it been, until tonight.

So why was she wide awake and tossing and turning? Why could she not believe that what she had longed for since the first time she and Drew met had happened? Why had she said – albeit jokingly – that she couldn’t wait to see him in the morning, ask him if he really wanted to marry her?

‘You’re a fool, Lyn,’ she whispered to the moon. Of course he wanted to marry her. A Sutton didn’t go back on his word, Daisy said. Yet she was afraid, still, and she knew it was because she would always be second best; second choice. Drew would never forget Kitty. He’d said so. Kitty would always be there because she had been one of the Clan – that bloody precious Clan she’d always envied because she could never be a part of it.

Mind, Gracie had never been part of the Clan and it had worried her not one jot. Pretty, happily married Grace Sutton who expected her second child at Christmas. Lyn liked Sebastian Sutton’s wife, just as she liked Tatty. Born to a Russian countess, Tatiana Sutton was as English as London Bridge. No one would know she was half-Russian, spoke correct Russian fluently, and conversed with the sombre Karl in his native Georgian, too. Tatty had taught Kitty to swear in Russian and in return Kitty taught Tatty to spit like a stable lad. Maybe Gracie’s baby would be born on Tatty and Bill’s wedding day. A cosy, family wedding in the little Lady Chapel it was to be and no white dress nor virginal veil Tatty stressed because she and Tim – her first passionate love – had been lovers from the start. Like Drew and Kitty, she supposed, because air-gunner Tim had been killed, too.

So why wasn’t Tatiana making a big production of her wedding to Bill and why did Bill Benson seem to happily accept the way things were – that the woman he would marry at Christmas had loved before; just as Drew had loved before – Drew’s mother, too.

‘Oh, dammit!’ She flicked on the bedside light, padded across the room to draw the curtains, checked that the alarm at her bedside was set for five in the morning, then whispered, ‘Goodnight, Drew. And it will be all right, my darling, I promise it will.’

She loved him – enough for both of them – and one day he would tell her he loved her too.

She closed her eyes and began to count each solemn second as it ticked away on the clock beside her, but it did nothing to help her fall asleep.

They waited on the platform at Holdenby Halt. Drew looked at his watch then said, ‘Any time now you’ll hear the train. The driver always gives a hoot just before the bend – a little past Brattocks. Then soon it’ll arrive, and you know what, Lyn? This station hasn’t changed one iota since ever I can remember.’

‘You don’t have to come to York with me. I’m quite capable of getting myself onto the Manchester train.’

‘Of course you are, but mightn’t it just occur to you that maybe I want to. For one thing, it’ll give us an extra hour together and for another, I want us to talk – plans, dates and all that. There’s always an empty compartment on this early train, so we can natter all the way to York. Have you had any thoughts on the matter, Lyn?’

‘Nope. All I could think about last night was had it really happened and when the heck I was going to get to sleep!’

‘You, too? Mind, it did happen quite suddenly. Takes a bit of getting used to. No second thoughts?’

‘No, Drew.’ Oh, liar Lyndis Carmichael! ‘Had you?’

‘Plenty, but no doubts. Wondered why we hadn’t got around to it before, as a matter of fact, and then I thought you might have decided that you didn’t want to be Lady Sutton, after all.’

‘Oh, my Lor’, Drew, Lady Sutton. I hadn’t thought …’

‘Comes with the job, I’m afraid. You’ll get used to it.’

‘Y-yes …’ The little train – the Holdenby Flyer, may God bless it, Lyn thought fervently – saved her the embarrassment of a reply. ‘It’s coming,’ she said. ‘Right on time.’

‘Usually is,’ Drew smiled, picking up her case, scanning the carriages as they slipped slowly past, pleased at the number of empty compartments. ‘The front of the train.’ He took her hand. ‘Plenty of room there.’

He helped her aboard then slammed the door firmly shut, pulling up the window.

‘There now, let me check. All present and correct. One case, one grip and one fiancée.’ Satisfied, he sat beside her, pulling her arm through his, smiling down at her.

‘That was nice, Drew.’ Lyn’s cheeks pinked. ‘You calling me your fiancée, I mean.’

‘Well, you are, aren’t you?’ he grinned. ‘Unless of course you’ve changed your mind.’

‘I am, and I haven’t. So let’s talk plans,’ she smiled tremulously as the whistle blew and the train jerked to a start. ‘Whatever you want is fine with me.’

‘Right! We’ll have the banns read starting next Sunday, then we’ll get married about the middle of October – that suit you?’

‘Just fine. But it wouldn’t suit Daisy nor her mother and it certainly wouldn’t suit your mother! White weddings take a lot of planning, don’t forget. Besides, I’ll have to give my parents in Kenya fair warning and plenty of time to get themselves organized and over here. And Daisy is insisting on a summer wedding. Bas and Gracie should be over by then and wanting their new baby christened. Your sister has got it all worked out. We had quite a long session last night.’

‘And?’ Drew quirked an eyebrow.

‘Well, I’m to ask Gracie to be one of the bridesmaids and if Tatty isn’t pregnant, she says, I ought to ask her – to wear the other dress, I mean. And I shall wear Daisy’s wedding dress. She offered and I couldn’t say no – it’s so beautiful. That was as far as we got, I’m afraid.’

‘Might Tatty be pregnant?’

‘No, of course not. But they do want a family so there’d be no point in waiting I was given to understand.’

‘And what else did Daiz come up with? Did she – er – mention how many children you and I will have?’

‘She didn’t get around to it, actually. Nor did I.’

‘But you want children, Lyn? I mean – everything seemed to happen so suddenly. You said you did after the christening but …’

‘Don’t worry, Drew Sutton. I want children, too. As many as the Good Lord thinks fit to send us. You and I were only-children. I’d like it if we had a couple, at least. Three would be nice.’

‘Be happy to oblige,’ he laughed, then all at once serious he cupped her face in his hands, saying softly, ‘You are sure, Lyn?’

‘I’m sure, Drew, but had you realized that not since you called for me at Foxgloves have I had so much as a kiss. Almost half an hour ago, that was!’

‘Again – happy to oblige.’

He tilted her chin and kissed her. Not with passion but with tenderness, Lyn thought; a reassuring, comforting, it’ll-be-all-right kiss and for the time being the niggling doubts left her.

‘I’ll call at Denniston when I get back – tell them about us. Bas and Gracie are leaving for Rochdale tomorrow to stay with Gracie’s folks for a week before they go back. They’re sailing, by the way. Better than flying, I suppose, all things considered. Mind, Mother will have been on the phone, spreading the news – nothing so certain. First she’ll be on to Daisy’s mother at Keeper’s and by the time she has finished ringing around, the entire Riding will know. There’ll be no need to put it in the Yorkshire Post.’

‘The announcement – it won’t go in just yet, will it?’

‘No. Not until you and I have talked about it and what we want putting in; we haven’t got a date yet, have we? But it’s like Nathan said last night. He doesn’t know what gets into normally well-balanced women when the words wedding or new baby are mentioned. He said it’ll be murder, the to-ing and fro-ing between Rowangarth and Keeper’s Cottage. Is it going to be a surprise to your folks, too? And before we can really announce it, I suppose I should ask your father’s permission, Lyn?’

‘Drew! Don’t be so stuffy.’ She gave his arm a little punch. ‘This is the middle of the twentieth century. Our generation has just fought a war, earned a bit of independence. It’ll be fine by them. Dad will be relieved that I’m off the shelf at last and Blod – Mother – will say, “Ooh, our Lyndis. There’s lovely …” I can just hear her. I’ll write to them, airmail, tonight.’

‘And you’ll tell them you’re very happy?’

‘I’ll tell them.’ Because she was. Crazily, ecstatically, unbelievably happy. So happy, in fact, that if the Fates got wind of it they’d be jealous, and that would never do. ‘And here’s York and we haven’t settled anything.’

‘We have, sweetheart. We’ve talked wedding dresses and bridesmaids and decided – almost – on a summer wedding. And three children.’

‘And that we’re both happy about us?’

‘Happy. A bit bewildered still, but happy, Lyn. Very happy. Don’t ever forget it, will you?’

THREE

‘Who on earth have you been talking to, all this time? I’ve tried to ring you three times, and you’re always engaged!’ The back door of Keeper’s Cottage was opened without ceremony by a breathless Julia Sutton.

‘Sorry,’ Alice smiled, ‘but it isn’t every day our son gets engaged.’ Their son. She, who had reluctantly borne and birthed him, Julia who reared him as her own. Dwerryhouse. At two years old, Drew hadn’t been able to pronounce her name. Mrs Lady he had said instead and she had been Lady ever since. And, thank God, she had come to love him deeply. ‘Isn’t it going to be grand? Lyn wants to wear Daisy’s wedding dress. She’ll have to try it on, next time she’s over – see if it fits.’

‘It will, near as dammit. Who else have you phoned, Alice?’

‘We-e-ll, Daisy, of course. And I mentioned it to Winnie at the Exchange and I rang Home Farm to tell Ellen and I’ll be nipping out to tell Polly. Not that she won’t have heard, of course. I’m so thrilled. Can’t seem to settle to anything, this morning.’

‘Nor me. In the end, Nathan asked me if I’d mind getting off the line; that he’s got parishioners who might want to get through. “Why don’t you pop along to Keeper’s,” he said. “Have a good old natter with Alice.” All of a sudden, he’s taken on a hounded look, poor love; something to do with women and weddings, he said.’

‘Tom’s exactly the same. Men can be very peculiar. But let’s have a sit-down, and talk about things.’ Alice set the kettle to boil. ‘By the way, did you phone Denniston House?’

‘I did. Told them Drew would be calling when he’s back from York. He’ll be wanting to say goodbye to Bas and Gracie. They’re going to Gracie’s folks for a week, then off back to Kentucky.’

‘And a Christmas baby for them. So much to look forward to. Tatty’s wedding, as well. We’ve been lucky there, haven’t we?’

‘Drew and Tatty, and them not getting together, you mean?’

‘Exactly. It could have happened, Julia. I mean, Drew losing Kitty and Tatty losing her Tim. Drawn together, they could have been. What would we have done? How would we have told them?’

‘I don’t know, and that’s the honest truth. But it isn’t going to happen now, Alice. Remember when we told Drew that you were his real mother?’

‘I do. Our Daisy acted up like a right little madam. Flounced off in one of her tantrums. Couldn’t accept there’d been another man in my life.’

‘Two men, did she but know it. Elliot Sutton who raped you and my lovely brother, who married you and claimed the child for Rowangarth. We were more than lucky, considering the lies we told and –’

‘White lies, Julia. Heaven must have approved of what we did. Drew was born fair as all the other Rowangarth Suttons; not dark like him. No need for Drew ever to know about his getting. There’s few living, now, who know.’

‘Just you and Tom. And Nathan and me. No worries that it’s ever going to get out, now.’

‘And Giles. He knew. So badly wounded. Never have a son for Rowangarth he said to me one night, when I was nursing him. He was in pain, and couldn’t sleep and we were talking. And I told him that that was ironic, because I had a child inside me I didn’t want. A rape child. Natural, him being the gentleman he was, to offer to marry me. I was grateful to accept, and why not, when Tom was dead, or so they said. That was a terrible war. I’m glad Giles lived long enough to know I’d had a boy.’

‘Poor dear Giles. Survived his war wounds to die of that awful ’flu. That ’flu took more people than were killed in the war. But what has got into us, getting all nostalgic and raking up the past! Let’s be having that cuppa, and get down to the present and Drew’s wedding. June, wouldn’t you say?’

‘It’ll be up to the pair of them, but I reckon next June would be as good a time as any. And the white orchids will be flowering, don’t forget, for another Rowangarth bride.’

‘Mm. Mother carried them to her wedding, and I did. And Kitty should have.’

‘Kitty. We aren’t going to be able to forget her, are we, Julia?’

‘No. And we don’t want to. Kitty is still a part of what was. Natural we should keep her with us.’

‘Yes. Let’s hope that Lyndis will accept it, and understand …’

‘She will, Alice. Given time, I’m sure she will, so don’t let’s spoil this lovely day? Let’s be glad that everything has worked out so wonderfully well. And I’m not interfering, truly I’m not, but wouldn’t a June wedding be great? Plenty of flowers – roses, as well as the white orchids. And a marquee on the lawn. When I told Tilda and Mary the first thing they said was that thank goodness we could have a wedding that was almost normal. Food-wise, they meant. Tilda has been wanting something like this to happen. She remembers the dinner parties at Rowangarth, before the war.

‘“Such goings-on, and all of us running round like mad things. But it was right grand,” she said. “Mind, that was in Mrs Shaw’s day, and I was only kitchen maid, then.” I think she’s going to look forward to the challenge, now she’s our cook. And I know food rationing isn’t over yet, but we needn’t feel quite so guilty about getting a bit on the black market – just the once. It isn’t as if merchant seamen are risking their lives, now, getting food to us across the Atlantic’

‘Mm. Just this once. It’s a pity, hadn’t you thought, that Lyn’s mother is going to miss all the fun – the planning, I mean. Sad she’s so far away.’

‘There’s nothing to stop her coming over and joining in. She’d be very welcome. Drew has met her – just the once – and he says she’s a lovely lady. There’d be loads of room for her. Bedrooms and to spare. I think Lyn should suggest it to her, when she writes.’

‘Oh? But you won’t be living at Rowangarth for very much longer, will you? Be in the Bothy by Christmas, you said.’

‘Okay. So she can stay at the Bothy with Nathan and me. Lyn’s father, too. Who cares? But even with me not there, Drew will be able to manage on his own for a few months. There’ll be Mary and Tilda to look after him – and anyone else who might want to stay there.’

‘Mary and Tilda are both married and live out, don’t forget. They wouldn’t be on call twenty-four hours a day.’

‘Alice! You’re looking for trouble. Drew isn’t helpless. He had six years in the Navy, don’t forget. It’ll all work out, in the end. I suppose that all I can think of right now is that we’re going to have a Christmas wedding in the family and a Christmas baby, given luck. And another wedding in June. Makes you giddy, just to think about it.’

‘It does. And coming back to Lyn – I’ll bet you anything you like that as soon as she gets back to Llangollen, she’ll send a cable to her folks, Drew and I engaged. Letter follows. Hope she manages to get back all right. She’s got to change trains at Manchester and Chester, don’t forget. Hope she hasn’t got her head in the clouds and ends up in Liverpool, instead. And y’know, Julia – Drew and Kitty wasn’t to be, but he and Lyn will make a go of it, I know they will.’

‘They will, Alice. As long as we all remember – without being in any way disloyal to Kitty’s memory – that it’s Drew and Lyn, now.’

‘Drew and Lyn,’ Alice held high her teacup. ‘Bless them both. And may they be very happy together.’

She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, then smiled brilliantly at Julia.

Her dear friend, Julia. Her almost-sister who knew all about first loves and last loves. She would, Alice decided, make a very good mother-in-law.

‘Well, look who’s here!’ Tatiana Sutton had seen her cousin’s approach and run to the door to greet him. ‘If it isn’t the blushing bridegroom himself. Come on in, do!’

‘Hey up, Tatty. I’ve hardly been engaged a day, yet. Give a man a chance!’ He took her in his arms, hugging her tightly. ‘I’m still a bit bemused. Never thought she’d have me.’

‘Have you? She’s been crazy about you for years! You’ll both be very happy, I know it. Hang on, and I’ll call Bill. He’s in his garret, painting. Won’t be a tick.’

‘No, Tatty. Give it a couple of minutes, if you don’t mind. You see, I feel really good about Lyn and me. Is that wrong of me? You’ll understand – Tim, I mean. How do you feel about marrying Bill, or is it too personal a question?’

‘Coming from you, Drew, no it isn’t. And I’m very happy about Bill and me. He knows that Tim and I were lovers. Bill and I haven’t been. He would rather wait, he said, till we were married. But it isn’t a problem, not even when I talk about Tim, once in a while. Tim is a part of my past and you can’t wipe out what has been – just accept you’ve got to live with it, be it good or bad.’

‘Thanks, Tatty. I hoped you’d say that. I won’t ever forget Kitty, Lyn understands that.’

‘I like Lyn, Drew. You’ll be great together, like Bill and me.’

‘And Mother and Uncle Nathan, too. A different kind of loving, Mother told me, but good.’

‘Exactly. So let’s sit in the conservatory and talk weddings. Yours and mine.’

‘Y’know something, Tatiana Sutton? You were such a brat when you were little, but you’ve grown into a lovely person – and beautiful, like your mother.’

‘Why thanks, cousin dear. And there’s another happy second-time-around. My mother and Ewart Pryce. She’s stupidly happy with him but she wasn’t, with my father.’

‘How do you know?’

‘I just do, that’s all. No one would talk to me about my father. Elliot Sutton. For all I knew about him, he was just a name on a gravestone. I even asked your mother to tell me, and she’s a most reasonable lady and broad-minded too, but not one word would she ever say. She just went all vinegar-faced then said, rather apologetically, that she didn’t remember a lot about him because he was always gadding about, somewhere or other. And then she said, “Mind, if you were to ask me about Nathan …” Why does she so obviously love my father’s brother, yet hates my father?’

‘Don’t know, Tatty. All I know is she goes all pofaced about him. Lady, too. I’ve learned to keep off the subject.’

‘Well, I’ve found out, Drew, but keep it to yourself, mind. Uncle Igor told me, swore me to secrecy, though. I got quite close to him. Used to visit at Cheyne Walk when he was there alone living in the basement, and the Petrovska here at Denniston because of the bombing on London. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned bombs on London.’

‘Tatty, bombs did drop on London. Nothing’s going to change that. But are you sure you want to tell me?’

‘I’m sure. Quite simply, my father was a womanizer. He didn’t love my mother but she had a title. Countess, actually, which meant very little in Russia and still less when you are a penniless White Russian refugee. But he married her to please his mother because she was a bloody snob and wanted a title in the family, and was desperate for a grandson. Grandmother Clementina thought her money could buy anything. I think had my little brother not been stillborn, my father could have gone his own sweet way with his mother’s blessing and his pockets lined with cash.