Tyler

“Sounds delicious. By the way, I’ve added two new men on the payroll to help do some work on the equipment and renovate the stable and the barn. That’s going to have to be done before we finish haying, as I’m sure you know.”

Bella whistled through her teeth. “Nell isn’t going to like that. She hates having to deal with new men.”

He scowled at her. “What happened to her?”

“I can’t tell you that. She’ll have to.”

“I’ve asked, but all I got was the runaround.”

“She’s a secretive person. Nell doesn’t talk about herself, and I won’t.” She smiled to soften the words. “Trusting someone doesn’t come easy to that child.”

“Trust is difficult for most of us.” He tilted his hat over his eyes. “See you.”

* * *

The barn, like every other building on the place, leaked in heavy rain, but when it was sunny like today, it was cozy and plenty warm enough. Nell was kneeling beside a small Hereford calf in a rickety stall filled with green-gold hay, stroking its head.

Tyler stood in the hay-filled aisle watching her for a long moment, his eyes narrowed in thought. She looked like Orphan Annie, and maybe she felt that way. He knew what it was like to live without love, to be alone and alienated. He understood her, but she wouldn’t let him close enough to tell her so. He’d made a mistake with Nell. He didn’t even know what he’d done to make her back off and treat him with such cool indifference. He missed the way things had been at their first meeting. Her shy adoration had touched him, warmed him. Because of Nell, he felt a kind of emptiness that he didn’t even understand.

He moved closer, watching the way she reacted to his approach, the way her dark eyes fell, her quick movements as she got to her feet and moved out into the aisle. As if, he thought irritably, she couldn’t bear being in an enclosed space with him.

“I thought I’d better tell you that I’ve hired two men, temporarily, to help with some repairs,” he said. “Don’t panic,” he added when he saw the flash of fear in her eyes. “They’re not ax murderers, and they won’t try to rape you.”

She blushed furiously and tears burned her eyes. She didn’t say a word. She turned and stormed out of the barn, hurting in ways she couldn’t have told him about, old memories blazing up like bonfires in the back of her mind.

“Damn it—!” he burst out angrily. He was one step behind her. Even as she reached the barn door, he caught her arm firmly to stop her. The reaction he got shocked him.

She cried out, twisting sharply away from him, her eyes wide and dark and fearful.

He realized belatedly that what had frightened her was the anger in his face, the physical expression of it in his firm hold on her. “I don’t hit women,” he said quietly, moving back a step. “And I didn’t mean to upset you. I shouldn’t have made that crack about the new men. Nell…”

She swallowed, stuffing her hands into her jeans while she fought for composure. She hated letting him see the fear his violence had incited. She glanced away from him and her thick black lashes blocked his view of the emotion in her dark eyes.

He moved closer, looming over her. His lean hands slid into the thick coolness of her hair at her ears and tilted her face up to his.

“Stop running,” he said curtly. “You’ve done it for weeks, and I can’t take much more. I can’t get near you.”

“I don’t want you near me,” she said, choking on the words. “Let go.”

Her words stung his pride, but he didn’t let her see. “Tell me why, then,” he persisted. His gaze was level, unblinking. “Come on.”

“I heard what you said to Bella that night,” she said, averting her eyes. “You thought I was just a kid, and when she told you how old I really was, you…you said you didn’t want a tomboy hanging from your boots,” she whispered huskily.

He saw the tears before he felt them sliding onto the backs of his hands. “So that was it.” He grimaced. He hadn’t realized that Nell might have heard him. His words must have cut her to the quick. “Nell, I never meant for you to hear me,” he said gently.

“It was a good thing,” she said, lifting her chin proudly as she fought down embarrassment. “I didn’t realize how…how silly I was behaving. I won’t embarrass you anymore, I promise. I liked you, that was all. I wanted you to be happy here.” She laughed huskily. “I know I’m not the kind of girl who would appeal to a man like you, and I wasn’t throwing myself at you.” Her eyes closed on a wave of pain. “Now, please, will you let me go?”

“Oh, Nell,” he groaned. He pulled her close, wrapping her up in his arms, his dark head bent to her honey-brown one under the slouch hat. He rocked her, feeling the pain in her as if it hurt him, too. His eyes closed as he swung her in his arms, the close contact easing the tears, easing the pain. She wept silently at the sweetness of it, even while she knew that she couldn’t expect any more than this. A few seconds of pity mingled with guilt. Cold comfort for a lonely life.

She let herself rest against him for one exquisite moment, loving the wiry strength of his tall body, the leather and tobacco smells that clung to his soft cotton shirt, the sound of his heartbeat under her ear. This would be something to dream about when he left. But now, she had to be strong.

She pulled away from him and he let her go. She knew that there was no hope for her in his life. Margie was more like him—she was sophisticated and good-looking and mature. They’d hit it off like a house on fire, and Nell had to keep that in mind and not let her heart get addicted to Tyler. Because Margie wanted him, Nell was sure of it. And Margie always got what she wanted.

She drew in a shaky breath. “Thanks for the comfort,” she said. She even forced a smile. “You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t make things hard for you.” She looked up, her brown eyes very soft and dark, shimmering with a hurt that she was trying so hard to keep from him.

Tyler felt something stir in him that knocked him in the knees. She had the most beautiful, sensual eyes he’d ever seen. They made him hungry, but for things that had no physical expression. She made him feel as if he’d been out in the cold all his life, and there was a warm fire waiting for him.

Nell felt that hunger in him, but she was afraid of it. His eyes had become a glittering green, and they were so intent that she flushed and dropped her gaze to his chest. He made her weak all over. If he looked at her like that very often, she’d have to go off into the desert forever. She felt as if he were taking possession of her without a physical move.

She stepped back, nervous, unsure of herself. “I’d better go inside.”

“About those new men—they’re only temporary. Just until we get through roundup.” His voice sounded oddly strained. He lit a cigarette, surprised to find that his fingers were unsteady. “They’ll be here in a few weeks.”

She managed a shy smile. “Well, I’ll try not to treat them like ax murderers,” she promised nervously. “I’m sorry about the square dance. About leaving you to deal with Margie.” She lifted her shoulders jerkily.

“I don’t mind. But don’t make a habit of it, okay?” he asked, smiling to soften the words. He reached out and tugged a lock of her long, unruly hair. “I’m feeling a little raw right now, Nell. I’ve lost my home, my job…everything that used to matter. I’m still trying to find my feet. There’s no place in my life for a woman just yet.”

“I’m sorry about what you lost, Tyler,” she said with genuine sincerity, gazing up at his hard, dark face. “But you’ll get it all back one day. You’re that kind of person. I can’t see you giving up and settling for weekly wages.”

He smiled slowly, surprised at her perception. “Can’t you? You’re no quitter yourself, little Nell.”

She blushed. “I’m not little.”

He moved a step closer with a new kind of slowness, a sensual kind of movement that made Nell’s heart stop and then skip wildly. She could barely breathe, the manly cologne he wore drifting into her nostrils, seducing her. “You’re not very big, either,” he mused. He touched the very visible pulse in her soft neck, tracing it with a long, teasing finger that made it jump. “Nervous, honey?” he breathed.

She could hardly find enough breath to answer him. “I…I have to go inside.”

His head bent so that his green eyes were looking straight into her dark ones while that maddening finger traced a hot path down her throat and up to her jaw. “Do you?” he asked in a husky whisper, and his breath touched her parted lips like a kiss.

“Tyler…” Odd, how different her voice sounded. Strained. Almost frantic.

His eyes fell to her mouth, and he wanted it suddenly and fiercely. His chest rose and fell quickly, his eyes glittered down at her. He almost bent that scant inch that would have brought her soft, full mouth under his. But she was trembling, and he couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t from fear. It was too soon. Much too soon.

He forced himself to draw back, but his hand gripped her shoulder tightly before he let her go. “See you later,” he said with a slow smile.

She cleared her throat. For one wild second, she’d thought he meant to kiss her, but that was absurd. “Sure,” she said huskily. “See you.”

She turned and went into the house on wobbly legs. She was going to have to get her imagination under control. Tyler was only teasing, just as he had in the beginning. At least he still liked her. If she could control her foolish heart, they might yet become friends. She could hardly hope for anything more, with Margie around.

Chapter Three

A couple of weekends later, Margie and the boys were back at the ranch. Curt and Jess were up at the crack of dawn Sunday, and Nell noticed with faint humor that they followed Tyler wherever he went. That gave Margie a good excuse to tag along, too, but the woman seemed preoccupied. She’d tried to get a conversation going with Nell earlier, although Nell hadn’t been forthcoming. It was hard going, listening to Margie try to order her life for her. Margie apparently hadn’t noticed that her sister-in-law was a capable adult. She spent most of her time at the ranch trying to change Nell into the kind of person she wanted her to be. Or so it seemed to Nell.

“I do wish you’d let me fix your face and help you buy some new clothes,” Margie grumbled at the breakfast table. She glared at Nell’s usual attire. “And you might as well wear a gunnysack as that old outfit. You’d get just as much notice from the men, anyway.”

“I don’t want the men to notice me,” Nell replied tersely.

“Well, you should,” she said stubbornly. “That incident was a long time ago, Nell,” she added with a fixed stare, “and not really as traumatic as you’ve made it out to be. And don’t argue,” she added when Nell bristled. “You were just a child, at a very impressionable age, and you’d had a crush on Darren. I’m not saying that you invited it, because we both know you didn’t. But it’s time you faced what a relationship really is between a man and a woman. You can’t be a little girl forever.”

“I’m not a little girl,” Nell said through her teeth. She knew her cheeks were scarlet. “And I know what relationships are. I don’t happen to want one.”

“You should. You’re going to wind up an old maid, and it’s a pitiful waste.” Margie folded her arms over the low bodice of her white peasant dress with its graceful flounces and ruffles. “Look, honey,” she began, her voice softening, “I know it was mostly my fault. I’m sorry. But you can’t let it ruin your whole life. You’ve never talked to me or to Bella. I wish you had, because we could have helped you.”

“I don’t need help,” Nell said icily.

“Yes, you do,” Margie persisted. “You’ve got to stop hiding from life—”

“There you are,” Tyler said, interrupting Margie’s tirade. “Your offspring have cornered a bull snake out in the yard. Curt says you won’t mind if he keeps it for a pet.”

Margie looked up, horrified.

Tyler chuckled at the expression on her face. “Okay. I’ll make him turn it loose.” He glanced at Nell, noticing the way she averted her eyes and toyed nervously with her coffee cup. “Some of the guests are going to services. I thought I’d drive them. I’m partial to a good sermon.”

“Okay. Thanks,” Nell said, ignoring Margie’s obvious surprise.

“Did you think I was the walking image of sin?” Tyler asked the prettier woman. “Sorry to put a stick in your spokes, but I’m still just a country boy from Texas, despite the life-style I used to boast.”

“My, my.” Margie shook her head amusedly. “The mind boggles.” She darted a glance at Nell, sitting like a rock. “You ought to take Nell along. She and her hair shirt would probably enjoy it.”

“I don’t wear a hair shirt, and I can drive myself to church later.” Nell got up and left the room, her stiff back saying more than words.

She did go to church, to the late morning service, in a plain gray dress that did nothing for her, with no makeup on and her honey-brown hair in a neat bun. She looked as she lived—plainly. Bella had driven her to town and was going to pick her up when the service was over. It would have been the last straw to go earlier with Tyler’s group, especially after Margie’s infuriating invitation at Tyler’s expense.

So the last person she expected to find waiting for her was Tyler, in a neat gray suit, lounging against the ranch station wagon at the front of the church when services were over.

“Where’s Bella?” Nell asked bluntly.

Tyler raised a dark eyebrow. “Now, now,” he chided gently. “It’s Sunday. And I’d hate to let you walk back to the ranch.”

“Bella was supposed to pick me up,” she said, refusing to move.

“No sense in letting her come all this way when I had to come back to town anyway, was there?” he asked reasonably.

She eyed him warily. “Why did you have to make two trips to town on Sunday?”

“To pick you up, of course. Get in.”

It wasn’t as if she had a choice. He escorted her to the passenger side and put her in like so much laundry, closing the door gently behind her.

“You’re killing my ego,” he remarked as he pulled out onto the road.

Her nervous hands twisted her soft gray leather purse. “You don’t have an ego,” she replied, glancing out at the expanse of open country and jagged mountains.

“Thank you,” he replied, smiling faintly. “That’s the first nice thing you’ve said to me in weeks.”

She let out a quiet breath and stared at the purse in her hands. “I don’t mean to be like this,” she confessed. “It’s just—” her shoulders lifted and fell “—I don’t want you to think that I’m running after you.” She grimaced. “After all, I guess I was pretty obnoxious those first days you were here.”

He pulled the station wagon onto a pasture trail that led beyond a locked gate, and cut off the engine. His green eyes lanced over her while he lit a cigarette with slow, steady hands.

“Okay, let’s put our cards on the table,” he said quietly. “I’m flat busted. I work for your uncle because what I have left in the bank wouldn’t support me for a week, and I can’t save a lot. I’ve got debts that I’m trying to pay off. That makes me a bad prospect for a woman. I’m not looking for involvement….”

She groaned, torn by embarrassment, and fumbled her way out of the car, scarlet with humiliated pride.

He was one step behind, and before she could get away he was in front of her, the threat of his tall, fit body holding her back against the station wagon.

“Please, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” she said brokenly. “I’m sorry, I never meant to—”

“Nell.”

The sound of her name in that deep, slow drawl brought her hurt eyes up to his. Through a mist of gathering tears she saw his face harden, then his eyes begin to glitter again, as they had once before when he’d come close to her.

“You’re all too vulnerable,” he said, and there was something solemn and very adult in his look. “I’m trying to tell you that I never thought you were chasing me. You aren’t the type.”

She could have laughed at that statement. He didn’t know that years ago she’d run shamelessly after Darren McAnders and almost begged for his love. But she didn’t speak. Her eyes fell to the quick rise and fall of his broad chest under the well-fitting suit, and she wondered why he seemed so breathless. Her own breathing was much too quick, because he was close enough that she could feel his warmth, smell the expensive cologne that clung to him.

“I’m nervous around men,” she said without looking up. “You were the first one who ever paid me any real attention. I guess I was so flattered that I went overboard, trying to make you happy here.” She smiled faintly, glancing up and then down again. “But I never really thought it was anything except friendship on your part, you know. I’m not at all like Margie.”

“What do you mean by that crack?” he asked sharply.

She shivered at his tone. “She’s like the people in your world, that’s all. She’s poised and sophisticated and beautiful…”

“There are many different kinds of beauty, Nell,” he said, his voice softer than she’d ever heard it. With surprised pleasure she felt the touch of his lean fingers on her chin as he lifted her face up to his eyes. “It goes a lot deeper than makeup.”

Her lips parted and she found that she couldn’t quite drag her eyes away from his. He was watching her in a way that made her knees weak.

“We’d better go…hadn’t we?” she asked in a husky whisper.

The timbre of her soft voice sent ripples down his spine. He searched her dark eyes slowly, finding secrets there, unvoiced longings. He could almost feel the loneliness in her, the hidden need.

And all at once, he felt a need spark within him to erase that pain from her soft eyes.

He dropped his cigarette absently to the ground and put it out with a sharp movement of his boot. His lean hands slid against her high cheekbones and past her ears.

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