She opened her mouth to deny it. She so did not need another sweet.
Her raspberry soufflé was exploding upward and outward, crusty, dusted with sugar, irresistible. While she thought weakly about denial, the waiter produced a jug and poured a thin, hot trickle of blood-red juice down into the soufflé. The crust burst at the centre, the soufflé swallowed the juice and Athena conceded that maybe Nikos was right. This demanded serious respect.
She shut up and ate.
Heaven. Right here on the plate. Seriously wonderful food…
Missing out on such treats was the price she paid for being where she was. If she got up at five tomorrow and jogged double her normal distance…Maybe…
‘Let it go, Thene,’ Nickos said. He was wiping the inside of his bowl with his forefinger and licking in deep appreciation. ‘You had a bigger butt when you were eleven. It’s not natural.’
‘It’s what I do.’ She finished and set down her spoon. Who licked their fingers?
She had a sudden blast of memory. Nikos’s mother, Annia, standing at her kitchen table, endlessly baking. She remembered a plum pie that was to die for…
Before she could help herself, she let her finger drop into the bowl, ran it round the edges and licked. Not sure whether she was tasting soufflé now, or pie from the past.
‘How’s your mother?’ she asked.
‘Great,’ Nikos said. ‘She sends her love. She says come home—though if I take you home looking like this she’ll have forty fits.’
‘I loved your mother.’
It was said without thinking. She hadn’t meant it. Or…she hadn’t meant to say it.
‘She hated it when you went away, Thene.’
‘Yeah. Well.’ Suddenly she’d had enough. More than enough. Emotion was threatening to overwhelm her. She stood up, too fast. It made her feel dizzy. Disoriented. Nikos was beside her in a flash, gripping her elbow, supporting her.
She should wrench away. He made her…melt.
‘I need to go home.’
‘My car’s close.’
‘You have a car? Here? In Manhattan?’
‘Borrowed from Stefanos.’
Stefanos. Of course. The third member of the guardians.
Stefanos, Alexandros and Nikos had been friends from childhood. Three intelligent boys, bound by one common goal. To free their respective islands.
They’d run together as a pack. Only, of course, while Giorgos was alive they could do nothing. But now…
‘Stefanos is still in New York?’ she asked. She’d seen him once, when she’d walked into a city hospital to visit a friend. She’d turned and walked out before he’d seen her. She’d even thought of moving to another city because he was here. But that was ridiculous. It was a big city.
‘Stefanos is in Australia trying to find the heir to the throne of Khryseis. He’s Prince Regent of that island. Like you, he doesn’t have a choice.’
‘I do have a choice,’ she snapped. ‘And one of them is to make my own way home. To my home. To where I live now.’
‘How do you get home from here?’ he asked, as if mildly interested, not taking up her nuances. ‘A cab? I’ll drive you.’
‘I ride the subway.’
‘The subway…’
‘This is my neighbourhood, Nikos,’ she said, and made her voice sound sure and mature and…determined. ‘This is where I live. But I need to go. Oscar and Nicholas are expecting me.’
‘Who are Oscar and Nicholas?’
‘My family,’ she said, and the thought of Nicholas brought fear flooding back. ‘So…so, if you’ll excuse me…Oh, you need to pay? Sorry if I don’t wait. Goodnight.’
And she turned and walked from the restaurant.
When she reached the pavement she slipped off her shoes and she started to run.
CHAPTER TWO
CARRIE was watching TV when she let herself into her apartment. Lovely, comforting Carrie, middle-aged and buxom, knitting endless squares to turn into endless blankets for the homeless. She closed the door, leant on it as if to lock the world out and let herself be comforted by the domesticity in front of her.
Oscar was lying draped over Carrie’s feet. The big basset hound looked up at her with soulful reproach, as if to say, You expect me to get up at this time of night? You need to be kidding.
She smiled. Oscar helped as well.
‘Hey, great jacket,’ Carrie said equably from the couch. ‘You swap jackets with a boy?’
Whoops. She’d forgotten she was wearing it. Or maybe subconsciously she’d known, and she liked it. She fingered the soft, worn leather and found comfort there as well.
‘Yep,’ she said.
‘A good-looking one?’
‘Yep to that as well. Really good-looking.’
‘Excellent,’ Carrie said and dumped her knitting into her carrier bag. ‘He ask you out?’
‘We did already. We ate soufflé and crêpes.’
‘And crêpes? Wow. You going to see him again?’
‘Once is enough.’ Once in one lifetime.
Carrie’s face puckered into disappointment. ‘Why the heck?’ she demanded, seriously displeased. ‘You know I can take Nicky whenever you want. You need a love life.’
‘I’ve had one.’
‘But you’ve kept his jacket,’ Carrie said, thoughtful. ‘Smart girl. A guy’s going to miss a jacket like that. Does he know where you live?’
‘No. I’ll post it to him.’
‘Don’t post it for a couple of days,’ Carrie said. ‘Give the man a challenge.’ She pushed her more than ample self to her feet, made her way across the room and gave Athena a hug. ‘You deserve some excitement. And Nicky needs a dad.’
‘Carrie…’
‘Just saying,’ Carrie said placidly. ‘Just going.’
And she went. Leaving silence.
She sat, on cushions still warm from Carrie. She stared mindlessly at the soap Carrie had been watching. Oscar sighed, heaved himself sideways and redraped himself over her feet.
She needed comfort.
She needed to stop being angry.
Why the anger? After ten years, surely she had no right to still be angry with Nikos.
Or maybe she had. Ten years ago she’d ached for him to follow her. Just one word…something…a message to find out if she was okay. Her aunt had known her address. Nikos had known her aunt.
But it was as if the moment she’d walked off the island she’d walked out of Nikos’s life. And now…here he was, demanding she take a part in the island’s future. Demanding she think about Argyros.
And all she could think was that she hadn’t told him he had a son.
He was here. The time to tell him was now.
The time to tell him was ten years ago. For him to find out now…
It had to happen. She had to find the courage.
Maybe he’d leave without trying to see her again. Maybe she’d have to go to Argyros to tell him.
He was in New York right now. She had to get over her anger and tell him.
And then say goodbye. For to go back to Argyros…Even if Demos were to destroy the island with his greed for diamonds…
No. It couldn’t happen. She’d have to do something.
What?
Nothing, she told herself, but there was desperation behind the word.
It had to be nothing. She’d left Argyros behind. That first dreadful year, she’d coped with homesickness, isolation, fear, and the birth of Nicky, and she’d faced it alone. She’d fought to make herself a living, knowing she was all her baby had. That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. The often used platitude had become her mantra.
She’d never again let herself need anyone as she’d needed Nikos. She no longer loved Nikos and she no longer called Argyros home.
Her head hurt. Thinking hurt.
She needed to sleep, but sleep wasn’t going to come easily tonight. If she filed her story now…That’d mean tomorrow was free. Saturday—Nicky had the day off school. They could go to the park…something, anything, just to get her away from here, buy her a little time.
She should take off Nikos’s jacket.
Not yet. For just a little bit longer she’d allow herself that one small comfort.
Who the hell were Oscar and Nicholas?
Husband? Son? Sons? He was going nuts not knowing.
He’d hired someone to find her. The firm he’d hired had given him the magazine she worked for and a brief summary of her career. It was hardly personal.
Why had he never thought she could be married?
She wasn’t wearing a ring.
That could mean anything. Rings weren’t compulsory. Nor was marriage; its lack didn’t necessarily mean you were without a long-term partner.
Why had she responded to him with anger?
He’d hardly expected her to fall into his arms as her long lost friend. He’d married someone else.
Marika…He thought of his ex-wife now and fought back anger that stayed with him still. But you needed to move on. He needed to move on.
He had.
Or he thought he had until he’d seen Athena tonight. She was every bit the girl he remem-bered—but now she was a woman. Her eyes had tiny creases—smile lines. Did she smile often? Did the unknown Oscar and Nicholas make her smile?
He’d forgotten how she’d made him feel—or maybe he’d blocked it out. Looking at her across the restaurant table tonight…it had taken all the power he had to keep his voice neutral, to keep his feelings in check.
She was still Athena—the girl he’d loved to the point of madness—and then she’d chosen her career over him. The woman he’d held in a corner of his heart for ten long years.
Oh, there’d been other women—of course there had. As the owner of the biggest fishing fleet in the Diamond Isles he was considered more than eligible. He was never lost for…companionship, only every woman he dated compared with Athena.
Even the woman he’d married.
Especially the woman he’d married.
The old anger gripped him, tore at him. The old hunger…
Only it wasn’t an old hunger. It was as real and as raw tonight as it had ever been.
He opened the door to the adjoining hotel room. The woman from the hotel sitting service rose to leave.
‘She’s been very good, sir. I read her the book like you said. She even undressed herself. I didn’t think…’
‘That’s great,’ he said. He didn’t want to hear what she didn’t think.
‘Goodnight, then,’ the woman said and slipped away into the night.
He stood for a moment gazing down at Christa. His daughter was sucking her thumb, even in sleep. She shouldn’t—but who cared?
He crossed to the bed and sat down beside his sleeping child. He stroked her pretty dark hair. She opened her eyes and smiled sleepily at him. ‘Papa.’
‘Go to sleep, kitten,’ he said softly.
‘N…nice.’ She closed her eyes again and was instantly asleep.
How could he still be angry? Athena had moved away but now, in his heart, in her stead, he had his little daughter.
For years he’d tried to think that. It didn’t work. It never had.
For years he’d envisaged Athena in a barren, lonely existence in a strange land. He’d almost hoped for it.
She’d left him. He should have cut off all thoughts of her. He shouldn’t care.
But it wasn’t possible. Not then and not now.
Athena…or his daughter.
Athena and the unknown Oscar and Nicholas.
So she had a family, too. Well, so be it, he thought, trying to be rational. He had his Christa and he was content. What he was feeling now was the echoes of the past. From now on the personal had to be set aside for the good of the island.
Tomorrow he had to find her again. She had to face her duty. She must.
He’d take Christa sightseeing tomorrow morning. Maybe they could take a buggy ride round Central Park. She’d enjoy that. Then, in the afternoon, he’d go to see Athena again.
And get his jacket back.
He thought of his jacket as he’d last seen it, draped round Athena’s shoulders as she’d fled the restaurant. Maybe he should have followed her.
But…and it was a big but. There had been fear in her eyes as she’d fled. Real fear.
He didn’t know why. He intended to find out, but for now…He was inexplicably glad she’d worn his jacket home.
How could she explain a man’s jacket to the unknown Nicholas and Oscar? Unaccountably, he found himself smiling. He hoped they were good to her. Yeah, that was a rational thought. Generous, even.
But…she had to come back to the island, even if it meant she brought this unknown Oscar and Nicholas with her. Though their existence could make things much more complicated.
Whatever. Tomorrow could be faced tomorrow, he told himself, trying to block out the unwanted image of Athena with another man by her side. Trying to block out how it made him feel. After all this time, surely jealousy was crazy.
Of course it was.
He kissed his daughter softly on the forehead, the touch and scent of her soft little body helping him put things into perspective.
‘Goodnight, sweetheart,’ he whispered. ‘We’ll have a good time tomorrow; just see if we don’t. And then we’ll persuade the Princess Athena to come home. Where we belong and where she belongs, too.’
In the morning the sun finally decided to shine. Nikos and his little daughter did the circuit of Central Park twice, and then they did it again. Christa’s unalloyed happiness, the sun on her face, the beauty of the horses, the garishness of the decoration on the buggy…she loved it. She clung to him, breathless with excitement, laughing out loud for sheer joy.
Halfway through their third circuit he sawAthena.
And a dog.
And a child.
How could it be? How could fate be this cruel?
Why on earth had she decided to come to a tourist destination this morning?
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
They’d been using their ball-thrower. Dogs were supposed to be on leads here, but she knew a place…most dog owners did. So they’d tossed the ball until Oscar was out of puff. Nicky had run more than the dog. Oscar wasn’t the brightest light on the Christmas tree, so about half the time it had been Nicky who’d had to retrieve it. Finally they’d bought ice cream cones and now they were waiting for Oscar to finish his before they walked home.
Oscar, a big, lumbering bear of canine dopiness, took his ice cream eating seriously.
A horse and buggy was wheeling briskly along the path towards them. The horses looked gorgeous, she thought. The day was gorgeous, making up for last night’s misery. She was dumb to be anxious on a day like this.
She chuckled at Oscar’s pink nose.
The buggy grew closer. The driver raised his crop in salute. It was that sort of day.
She smiled. She waved back.
And then she saw who was in the buggy.
Nikos.
And a child?
The sounds around them faded. Everything faded.
She heard Nikos’s snapped order as if it came from a distance. The buggy stopped. Nikos climbed down, paid the driver and lifted the little girl down after him.
The child was little and dark and beautifully dressed, in a pink dress with a wide pink bow, white socks edged with pink lace and shiny pink shoes. A pink Alice band held back her glossy black hair. Shoulder-length with bangs.
Smiling and smiling.
Down’s syndrome.
The little girl laughed as Nikos swung her down, and Nikos laughed back.
Athena’s heart did a back flip. Landed upside down, somewhere else in her chest than where it should be.
Down’s syndrome…
Her aunt’s letter came back to her.
‘A little girl for Nikos and Marika…’
‘Hi,’ she managed, and if her voice came out a squeak she couldn’t help it.
‘Hi,’ Nikos said back. He sounded as incredulous as she was—and as wary. The horse and buggy bowled on, leaving Nikos and his daughter on the verge of the path.
Nikos wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at Nicky.
Nicky, who was the spitting image of his father—a mirror image of the younger Nikos.
Father…and son.
She should have…she should have…
It was too late for should haves. The time was now.
‘This is Christa,’ Nikos said at last, and his voice seemed to come from a distance. ‘Christa, this is my friend, Athena.’
‘Dog,’ Christa said in Greek, still smiling. Pointing to Oscar. ‘Ice…Ice cream.’
The ice cream vendor was right behind them. ‘Would…would you like an ice cream, Christa?’ Athena asked, and then thought desperately, what if she had a dairy allergy. What if…
‘Yes,’ Christa said, very firmly. She looked up at her father, searched for another word and found it. ‘Please.’
She smiled again. She was gorgeous, Athena thought, and suddenly found she was blinking back tears. Nikos was holding his little daughter’s hand with pride. With tenderness. With love.
‘Ice cream, Papa?’ Christa asked and Nikos nodded. He hadn’t taken his eyes from Nicky.
‘Introduce us,’ he said.
‘This is Nicky,’ she said, trying to find the right words. And then, because she didn’t want him to get the wrong idea—even if there was no denying the wrong idea was right—she added quickly, ‘Nicholas.’
‘Of course,’ he said. Non-committal. ‘And the dog?’
‘Oscar.’ She turned away—fast. ‘I’ll buy Christa a cone. Would you like one?’
‘No. Thank you.’
It took time to get the cone. There were people queuing ahead of her. Then she thought she should have asked Christa what she wanted. But somehow…she knew. Strawberry.
And she was right. ‘Pink,’ Christa said with huge pleasure. She looked at the bench where Nicky and Oscar were seated. ‘Sit,’ she said.
Nicky smiled and shifted, just slightly, so there was room for Christa to sit between him and Oscar.
Athena thought, I’m going to cry.
She was not going to cry.
Still Nikos said nothing. Neither did she. Words were too big. Or too small. There was nothing to fill this silence.
Finally Nikos found words that might do. For now. Filler words. ‘It’s good to meet you, Nicholas. Is Oscar your dog or your mother’s?’
‘Mine,’ Nicky said and she thought, great question. Generally shy, discussions of Oscar made Nicky blossom.
‘How old is he?’
‘We’re not sure. He was in our street one day when we came home. He was dirty and really, really hungry. We took him to the animal shelter ‘cos Mama said someone might be looking for him, but no one wanted him so we got him back. I called him Oscar ‘cos Mama told me she had a dog called Oscar when she was little. Before my Mama’s mama died.’
‘I remember Oscar,’ Nikos said softly, gravely. ‘He was great. If your Oscar’s like him he must be really special.’
‘He is.’
‘Does he eat everything like that?’ Oscar was still licking, stretching the experience for as long as he could. Nicky had chosen a rainbow ice cream for him and he’d wedged it between the planks on the bench. Oscar had a paw on either side of the cone so it couldn’t tip. His nose colour had changed now to green.
‘He enjoys his pleasures, does Oscar,’ Athena said, and Nikos finally looked at her. Really looked at her.
The look would stay with her all her life, she thought numbly. Disbelief. Awe. Anger. And raw, undisguised pain.
‘He is, isn’t he?’ he asked, and there was only one way to answer that.
‘He is.’
He closed his eyes.
Where to go from here?
‘You can’t do this, Thena,’ he said, and his voice was suddenly harsh. ‘No more. You walked away with this…’
‘I didn’t know.’ It was a cry of pain but she knew it was no excuse.
‘You walked away. And now…’ He paused, took a deep breath, then another. ‘Leave it,’ he said and she wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or to her. ‘I can’t take it in. Just come back to the island and we’ll sort it there. We need to get the succession in place. If you don’t come home the island will be ruined. How selfish can you be?’
‘Selfish?’ She would have gasped if she hadn’t felt so winded. ‘Me? Selfish.’ Then, before she could stop herself she produced the question that had slammed at her heart for almost ten years. ‘How old is Christa?’
‘Nine.’
‘And her birthday is when?’
‘June.’
‘So there you go,’ she snapped, the old, stupid grief welling up in her all over again. ‘Nicky’s nine and he was born in September. What does that tell you, Nikos?’
‘Nothing,’ he snapped. ‘Except that you should have told me.’
‘So maybe you should have asked. When I left…there was nothing.’
‘You told me not to follow.’
‘I didn’t expect you to believe me,’ she yelled—really yelled—and everyone looked at her. Even Oscar. Christa’s ice cream started to drip on the side she wasn’t licking. Nikos automatically stooped and turned it around for her, wiping her chin before it dripped on her dress.
It was a tiny gesture but, for some stupid reason, the sight of it cut through her anger and made her want to weep again.
‘It’s time we went home,’ she whispered, and Nicky looked up at her in surprise.
‘We were going to walk right round.’
‘I’m tired.’
‘I’m not,’ he said, clearly astonished.
‘Tell you what,’ Nikos said. ‘Why don’t we compromise. Nicky, I’m from the island where your mother was born. I know your mama just shouted at me, but maybe that’s because…because we both got a shock. Your mother and I have known each other since we were children, but this is the first time I’ve been to New York.’
‘Yes…’ Nicky said, not sure where this conversation was going.
‘What if Christa stays here with your mama? Christa gets tired easily—she has a problem with her heart that makes her tired. But she’ll be happy here with a dog and an ice cream. So your mama and Christa can rest here. Christa can finish her ice cream and you can show me all the way round.’
Nicky looked doubtfully at his mother. She was too numb to respond.
‘Thene,’ Nikos said urgently, and she tried to pull herself together. What was he asking? Fine, she decided. Anything. The gods would have to take control from now on. She couldn’t.
‘Can I take Oscar?’ Nicky asked.
‘Yes,’ Nikos said.
‘You really knew my mother when she was little?’ her son asked.
‘When she was Princess Athena,’ Nikos told him. ‘Your mother needs to be Princess Athena again. Come with me and I’ll tell you why. Will Oscar come with us?’
Nicky was looking at her. Waiting for her approval.
What did it matter? She was no longer in control here. She knew nothing.
‘Fine,’ she said weakly. ‘Take…take your time. Christa and I will look at the zoo.’
She sat on the bench and watched Christa finish her ice cream, and the desire to weep grew almost overwhelming.
What was it with men? How could she have thrown those two birth dates together and have Nikos react without the slightest regret? Or shame. Or guilt.
He’d called her selfish for leaving the island. She’d told him she wanted to leave for an exciting job in New York and he’d looked at her with shock and disbelief—and he’d let her walk away.
But if he knew the true reason…That if she’d stayed his family would be ruined. That the old King had threatened everything Nikos loved if she stayed. How could he never have guessed?
He’d never, ever asked. He’d never so much as written. And, when she’d learned of Christa’s birth, she knew the reason why he hadn’t.
Her fingers were clenched into her palms so hard they hurt.
‘Papa,’ Christa said suddenly, as if she’d just realised Nikos was gone. She looked worried.
This wasn’t Christa’s fault. She had no right to let her own misery and confusion spread to this little girl. ‘He’ll be back soon,’ she said gently.
‘Papa.’
‘There’s a little zoo just near here. Do you like animals?’
The little girl considered. ‘Big?’ she asked.
‘Little. Funny animals. Friends.’
‘Friends,’ Christa said and put out a hand for Athena to help her to her feet. She smoothed her dress, tucked a sticky hand into Athena’s and had another lick of her ice cream. ‘Friends.’