Slade's Secret Son

She’d begun to wonder if he was even going to ask or if his feelings toward her were so shallow, he really didn’t care. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. When I moved to Seattle, I decided to not join the police force. I wanted more flexible working hours so I started my own detective agency and hooked up with a couple of groups of lawyers, doing investigations, serving subpoenas…the legwork kind of stuff.

“Anyway, I was serving divorce papers on a guy named Tommy Cross. He was a medium-class hood who’d been caught in a sting operation. People were distancing themselves fast and furiously from him. Even though the man’s Mr. Stonewall himself, someone must have been worried that he might cut a deal and name names. They took a shot at him, missed and hit me instead.”

Abruptly she grinned dryly. “Talk about a ‘shot heard’ round Seattle and further.’ Tommy didn’t take well to being a target. But I think what bugged him the most was that he’d given his word that he’d be silent and he hadn’t been believed. Tommy always prided himself on keeping his word. The next thing the locals knew, he was talking his head off. He knew so much, it crossed state lines and they had to bring in the Feds.”

Slade recognized the glitter of excitement in her eyes. She liked action, especially when it went well. He recalled the way his stomach had knotted when he’d heard about some of her exploits in the field. She believed in getting her man, even if it involved personal injury. Anger that she took placing her life in jeopardy so lightly built inside of him. “You have a child. And until today, you were raising him on your own. I can’t believe you are still being so cavalier about risking your life.”

Lisa glared at him. “I was never cavalier about my life. I was doing my job, the same as you and every other lawman.”

Maybe he was being unfairly critical, Slade admitted to himself. Law enforcement was innately a dangerous occupation. Still… “The problem is that if there’s trouble anywhere in your vicinity, you seem to find it.”

“I do not.” When they’d been dating, he’d said that he accepted her being in danger as part of her job, but there had been a couple of times when he’d come close to overreacting when she’d had a close call. At those times, a shuttered look had descended over his features and she’d wondered if maybe he did care for her more than he’d wanted to admit. Stupid girl. It was fantasies like that that had caused her to think he might fall in love with her. But he hadn’t. He would never betray his precious Claudette.

Slade told himself to drop the subject, but he couldn’t. That she’d had such a close brush with death continued to taunt him. “I’d have thought that with a child depending on you, you’d have found a less dangerous occupation.”

“And I thought I had found a safer venue,” she snapped back, angered by the accusatory tone in his voice. “The jobs I took were mostly paperwork type of investigating…going through state, federal and county records, checking out phone bills, bank records, that kind of stuff. There was some surveillance, but nothing anyone would consider dangerous.” Her jaw tensed defensively. “I didn’t want to burden you with a child you didn’t want so I ignored the fact that no one’s life is guaranteed.”

“I thought you knew me better than that. I would always want to be involved in the life of any child I fathered,” Slade returned curtly.

To herself, she admitted that she had known that. It had been her pride that had kept her from telling him until now. That, and one other worry. “There is one thing I won’t abide. I won’t allow you to make my son feel second best to the child Claudette was carrying when she died. Even if you think that, you’d better keep it hidden from him or you’ll have me to answer to.”

As angry as he was for having been kept in the dark about his son, Slade knew he had to accept some of the blame. He had been adamant about never loving anyone except for Claudette. It was only reasonable for Lisa to assume he might feel the same about his and Claudette’s unborn child. But she was wrong. Any child he fathered would be special to him. With every passing moment his need to see his son, to hold him, was growing in intensity. “I promise you, he will never be made to feel second best. I was raised to believe that every child is uniquely special.”

He sounded sincere, but although she would have accepted his word on anything else, her son was too important to her. She’d keep a close eye on Slade. At the first sign that he was comparing Andy to the child he’d envisioned having with Claudette, she’d boot Slade out of their lives. Giving in to exhaustion, she closed her eyes and slept.

Between delayed flights and scheduled layovers, dawn was nearly breaking when they finally landed in Seattle. Driving to the house she and Andy shared with her mother and aunt, Lisa grew more and more tense. Slade had never been one to make small talk and the silence in the car felt deafening.

“What have you told Andy about me?” He asked, abruptly breaking the stillness.

“Nothing. He’s barely two years old and, so far, he hasn’t asked about his father so I’ve never said anything.”

Slade studied her narrowly. “What were you going to tell him when he did finally ask?”

“To be honest, I wasn’t really sure.” Her shoulders stiffened defensively. “But I wouldn’t have told him anything that would have turned him against you.”

“Just the fact that I wasn’t contributing to his upbringing in any way would have done that.”

“I did what I thought was the right thing to do at the time.”

Slade held back an angry retort. In all fairness, he knew he couldn’t entirely fault her. He’d so much as told her that he didn’t want a relationship that went beyond the surface.

No further conversation passed between them until they were pulling into the driveway of the huge old two-story home in one of the older districts of Seattle. Again, it was Slade who broke the silence. “I like to know what I’m walking into. Just how opposed are your aunt and mother to my being here.”

“They’re uneasy, but not really opposed. They’re afraid you don’t honestly want Andy and that he’ll sense it and feel rejected.”

“I would never do that to him.”

Lisa knew he believed what he was saying and, as a mother, she felt her son was so adorable that anyone would fall in love with him. However, having been stung by Slade’s past herself, she vowed to not allow her son to be equally harmed.

Entering the house, they smelled coffee brewing along with the aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls. Before they could close the door behind them, two women came out of the kitchen. The one in the lead, Slade judged to be in her fifties. With her green eyes and once black hair, now streaked with gray, she was an older version of Lisa. The woman following her, whom he guessed to be in her sixties, also bore a strong family resemblance.

“We both woke early and couldn’t go back to sleep,” the younger of the two women said, her voice curt with anxiety as she studied Lisa, then turned her gaze to Slade.

Lisa forced a calmness she wasn’t feeling into her manner. “Mother, this is Slade. Slade this is my mother, Helen Gray.”

Slade extended his hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

Helen accepted the handshake but made no response.

“And this is my aunt, Ester Kelso.” Lisa completed the introductions.

“Pleased to meet you,” Slade said, extending his hand to her, as well.

“I’m not ready to say the same about you,” Ester replied, accepting the handshake but continuing to regard him with distrust.

“Aunt Ester,” Lisa admonished sternly.

“Ester can be a bit too outspoken,” Helen said. “But she is merely saying out loud what I’m thinking, as well.” A fierce protectiveness glistened in her eyes as she, too, turned her full attention on Slade. “We won’t stand by and allow you to harm Andy in any way.”

Slade glowered at the women. “I’ve come here to accept my responsibility as his father. If I had known about the pregnancy, I would have married Lisa and taken care of her and our child from the beginning.” He turned to Lisa, his jaw set in a resolute line. “It’s never too late to right a wrong. I’ve given this situation some thought and decided that we have to get married. And it should be done as quickly as possible.”

Lisa had always known Slade was a man who lived by a strong code of duty. She also knew that it was duty and nothing more that was the reason he was willing to marry her. Her shoulders straightened with pride. “I didn’t bring you into Andy’s and my life because I wanted you for a husband.”

“And I will not allow my son to go through life as a bastard. We will marry and I will have his name changed to Logan. I want him to know that he is as much a member of my family as he is of yours.”

“We can have his name changed without you and me marrying.”

“That’s not enough. I want him to be able to say his parents were married. I know that sounds old-fashioned, but that’s the way I am.”

Helen stepped between her daughter and Slade. “I realize that life might be a lot easier for Andy if he has a father who wants to claim him, but I will not allow you to bully Lisa into doing something she thinks is wrong.”

Ester placed herself beside her sister, forming a human wall between Lisa and Slade. “And neither will I.”

They reminded Slade of the women in his own family…strong-willed, determined, self-reliant and stubborn. “I’m just trying to do right by my child.”

Even though Lisa was still not certain Slade would be able to find a real place in his heart for her son, she found herself coming to his defense. He was, she knew for certain, a man of honor. “I know Slade means well,” she said, stepping out from behind the protective barrier.

Aware of her doubts about him as a father, Slade was surprised by the conviction in her voice.

“I suppose we really didn’t have any other option but to bring him in on this,” Helen said with a heavy sigh, still not looking convinced that this had been the best course of action.

Ester continued to stare sternly at Slade. “Our Lisa is a wonderful woman. No man in his right mind would ever consider her second best. She’s strictly first-rate.”

So, Lisa had been honest with them about why she’d kept their child a secret. “I’ve always respected Lisa. I know she’s a first-rate person.”

Both Helen and Ester tossed him disgruntled glances, letting him know they found his response less than satisfactory.

“She’s a woman any man should be proud to love,” Helen snapped, and Ester nodded curtly.

“It’s been a long trip,” Lisa interrupted. She’d confessed to her aunt and mother that she’d been in love with Slade and hoped that he’d fall in love with her. Even if Slade had guessed that was the case, she didn’t want them confirming it by blurting it out. “I’ll show Slade to his room.”

“There’s coffee and fresh cinnamon rolls in the kitchen,” Ester said.

“As soon as we’ve freshened up, we’ll be down,” Lisa returned, motioning Slade toward the stairs.

Picking up both his and her satchel, Slade nodded his goodbye to her mother and aunt, then waited for Lisa to precede him up the stairs. When they reached the second-floor landing, he stepped in front of her, stopping her. “I want to see my son.”

Lisa, too, was anxious to see her child. The mere sight of him gave her strength. “He’s asleep and I don’t want to wake him,” she cautioned as they neared a room, the entrance blocked by a child’s safety gate.

From the doorway, Slade peered inside. The window shade was up, allowing early morning light to give dim illumination to the interior. His gaze went immediately to the twin-size bed nestled in the corner. The top and one side each against a wall, a child’s bed rail protected the side open to the room. Realizing Lisa was not about to open the gate that separated him from his son, Slade frowned. “I want a closer look.”

“I told you, I don’t want to wake him.”

“Mommy?” A small voice issued from the bed.

In the next instant there was movement as the occupant of the bed wiggled to the open bottom end, climbed off and headed for the door. He was rubbing his eyes, a sign he was still in the process of waking. Halfway across the room, he looked in the direction of his destination. Abruptly, he came to a halt.

Lisa wasn’t surprised. Slade was an imposing figure. But she didn’t want her son’s first encounter with his father to leave any taste of fear. Quickly she switched on the light. “Hi, sweetheart,” she said, smiling warmly as she unfastened the gate.

Andy stood rooted, staring at the tall, dark stranger in the doorway.

“It’s all right,” Lisa soothed, then realized that there was no fear on Andy’s face. Instead, he was studying Slade with a guarded speculation, his expression a child’s version of the one she’d seen on Slade’s face so many times when he encountered someone for the first time and wasn’t certain if they were friend or foe.

Glancing over her shoulder, Lisa saw that Slade had not moved. He was standing like a statue in the doorway, staring down at their child. The thought that he was disappointed at the sight of his son caused a rush of rage inside her. Motherly pride bubbled to the surface. Suddenly a look of tenderness, so intense it took her breath away, spread over Slade’s features.

It took all of Slade’s willpower to not stride into the room and pick up his son. He didn’t want to frighten the boy. There was no doubt that this was his child. Andy was the exact image of him at that age. But then, he’d never for a moment questioned Lisa’s honesty. Remaining in the doorway, he squatted so that he was at eye level with his child, then said in an easy drawl, “I’m real pleased to be meeting you.”

Andy remained where he was, his head cocked to one side, and continued to study the man.

Lisa held out her hand to her son. “I want you to meet Slade Logan,” she coaxed.

Andy accepted her hand and walked with her toward Slade, stopping a couple of feet in front of him.

“Slade’s a friend.” Lisa saw Slade’s jaw twitch with controlled anger and added, “He’s also your father.”

“Sllaade,” Andy said, as if tasting the feel of the name on his tongue.

“You can call me dad.” Slade wanted to waste no time establishing his true position.

Watching the two of them, Lisa found herself thinking how much alike they were. She’d known Andy resembled his father but until now she’d never realized just how much. And the resemblance wasn’t merely physical, either. Andy’s mannerisms, the way he held himself, the way he faced his father right now, studying him with guarded interest…all of these things combined into a miniature Slade.

Lisa could tell by looking at him that with every fiber of his being, Slade wanted to pick up his son and hug him. Instead he extended his hand and said, “How about a handshake?”

Releasing his hold on his mother’s hand, Andy took another step toward the man and placed his hand in Slade’s.

Slade’s huge hand swallowed up the toddler’s. The desire to hold on to the boy forever was strong, but Slade made himself release his hold after only a moment.

“Sllaade,” Andy repeated with a smile that indicated he’d decided to accept the man as a friend.

“Dad,” Slade corrected with a crooked grin to let the boy know that he, too, considered them friends.

Andy looked up at his mother as if confused by this double name.

“Dad. You should call him dad,” Lisa responded to the question in her son’s eyes. Silently she prayed that, for her son’s sake, the tenderness she’d seen on Slade’s face would remain untainted by the ghosts that haunted him.

Andy turned back to Slade. “Daa,” he said as if imprinting the name in his memory bank.

A lump the size of Texas formed in Slade’s throat. “Son,” he said around it, and ruffled Andy’s hair. “Think I could have a hug?” he coaxed.

Lisa was stunned by the depth of feeling she read on Slade’s face. She’d never seen this openly loving side of him. He’d been tender with her, kind, generous and thoughtful, but she’d always been aware of the wall he kept between himself and her. For a moment jealousy that her son had been allowed to enter Slade’s heart while she’d always be left on the outside flowed through her. Then pride came to her rescue. She refused to waste emotions on a man who preferred a ghost to a real flesh-and-blood woman. “Give your father a hug,” she encouraged, giving Andy a small nudge toward Slade.

Andy hesitated for a second, then with a crooked grin that matched Slade’s, he opened his arms, approached Slade and wrapped them around Slade’s neck.

Emotions too strong to even categorize pervaded Slade as he wound his arms around his son. Feeling Andy attempting to wiggle free, Slade forced himself to release the boy.

Satisfied he’d been properly introduced to the stranger and the stranger was not a threat, Andy turned to his mother and held up his arms to her.

“I suppose you want to get dressed and have some breakfast.” Because her shoulder was still too sore to allow her to pick him up, she knelt, wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled his neck.

Andy nodded vigorously.

Feeling the need to have some time alone with her son, Lisa rose and, holding her son by the hand, headed to the door. “We’ll just show your father to his room first.”

Slade knew she was trying to get rid of him and wanted to protest, but stopped himself. His relationship with his son was still on shaky ground and he didn’t want to do anything that would evoke anger from Lisa in front of the boy. Picking up both her satchel and his, he said, “I’ll drop your satchel off at your room.”

Relieved he wasn’t going to give her any argument, Lisa nodded toward the next door on the same side of the hall as Andy’s room. “That’s my room,” she said.

Slade dropped her bag just inside, while she paused in the hall.

She nodded toward a door on the other side of the passage. “That’ll be your room.”

Pleased that he would be so close to his son’s room, Slade smiled. “Thanks.” With a final wink toward Andy, he entered his room.

Lisa had finished changing Andy’s diaper and was dressing him when she felt a prickling along her spine. Without turning around, she was certain it was Slade in the doorway watching her. From the first time they’d met, she’d been acutely aware of his presence. She’d hoped that had faded during the past couple of years. Obviously, it hadn’t.

Andy peered around her. “Da,” he said, confirming what she already knew.

Approaching them, Slade held his arms out toward the boy. “Can I give you a lift downstairs?”

Lisa expected Andy to refuse. He was cautious around strangers. Even more, Slade had an intimidating effect on people. The first time they’d met, he’d gone immediately to the top of her list of men she most wanted to avoid in the future. I would have been smart to have followed that instinct, she admonished herself. Then she thought of Andy and retracted that thought. Her son was precious to her and she would never regret having him.

Andy cocked his head and again studied the tall, mountain of a man while his mother finished tying his shoe. When she was done, he slid off of his bed and stood beside her for a long moment, then clearly making up his mind, he held out his arms toward Slade.

Grinning with pleasure, Slade picked up his son.

They were a matched pair, Lisa thought, watching the two of them together. Her pride still stung some, but she was forced to admit that bringing Slade and his son together had been the right thing to do.

Chapter Three

Lisa woke groggily. Both she and Slade had caught short naps in the airports and on the flights to Seattle, but she was still recovering from her wound and by the time Andy was settled in to eat his breakfast, exhaustion had forced her to go to her room to lie down. She’d immediately fallen asleep. Now she was being gently shaken awake.

Opening her eyes, she saw Slade. Fear that something had happened to Andy raced through her. “What’s wrong?” she asked, bolting into an upright position. Before she could get to her feet, dizziness forced her to stop and hold her head in her hands.

Slade’s hands closed around her shoulders, adding support. “Are you all right?”

“Head rush,” she replied, furious that her body wasn’t healing as quickly as she wanted it to. Even more disconcerting was the soothing heat his touch was spreading through her. She didn’t want him affecting her that way. She wanted to feel neutral toward him. Giving her shoulders a small twist to indicate she wanted him to release her, she sucked in a groan of discomfort.

“I was just trying to help,” Slade said impatiently, releasing her and taking a step back.

Lisa berated herself for overreacting, but then she’d never been able to keep herself entirely under control where Slade was concerned. The nausea now subsiding, her original panic returned. “Has something happened to Andy?”

“Andy’s fine,” Slade assured her. Tenderness again softened his feature. “He and I have been getting acquainted. Smart little guy and full of energy.”

Lisa saw the love in Slade’s eyes. Clearly, he’d allowed Andy into his heart and, for her son’s sake, she was glad.

“It’s getting late and I want to go get our marriage license today.”

Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, Lisa saw that it was after two. “I slept half the day?”

“You needed the rest. You’re still recovering from your wound.”

“Where’s Andy?”

“He’s taking his nap.” Slade backed up further so that he could lean against the wall. “He’s very devoted to you. A couple of times every hour he insisted on coming in and checking on you.”

Her son’s concern caused a motherly warmth to spread through her and she was forced to admit that deep inside she’d been worried that Slade had such a powerful presence, Andy might become so enamored of him, he would forget about her when Slade was present. “He is a very caring child,” she said with pride.

“You’ve done well by him.” Slade straightened with purpose. “And now it’s my turn to do right by him. While he’s napping, we’re going to go get our marriage license. Your mother is making you a sandwich you can eat on the way.”

Lisa’s jaw firmed. “I am not going to marry you. That is not why I brought you into this.”

“We are going to get married. It’s the right thing to do for Andy’s sake. And I’m not taking no for an answer. I want the boy to have my name and to know that I wanted to be his father in every sense of the word, including the legal one.”

Lisa scowled. “You don’t want me for your wife. You made that very clear.”

“It’s not personal. I don’t want any woman for a wife.”

“That’s supposed to appease me?”

“If you don’t let me marry you, Andy might always think that I didn’t really want him. I don’t want him to have any doubts about the bond I feel toward him.”

“I’ll explain that it was my choice.”

“And then there’s the legal system,” Slade persisted. “If anything happens to you, the courts might look at it differently. You and I both know that you can’t count on a judge to always do the right thing. If we never marry, a court could rule against my getting custody. And, if the court feels that your mother and aunt can’t care for him properly, Andy could even end up in the foster care system.”

Lisa had to concede that there was a small chance things could turn out as he predicted, a very small chance but a possibility nonetheless, and that thought sent a chill of fear through her.

“We were good together,” Slade continued. “We have the same tastes, a lot of the same interests, and we both know how to please each other physically. I’d say we probably have more going for us than a lot of couples who marry.”

Lisa reluctantly admitted to herself that his arguments were valid. Still, she was uneasy. He was asking her to go back to the way they had been before. Well, not exactly. This time she was forewarned. She would know better than to give her heart to him. “All right, I’ll marry you for Andy’s sake. But if the marriage doesn’t work out, I want your word that you’ll give me a divorce and not fight me for custody.”