To Have And To Hold
Are her unknown boss and the sexy mystery man next door one and the same? Find out in New York Times bestselling author Diana Palmer’s acclaimed story, TO HAVE AND TO HOLD!
Who is Cal Forrest? wonders shy Madeline Blainn. Her new neighbor is undeniably gorgeous. He’s also older and worldlier, but nevertheless, Maddy finds herself drawn to the man. Something about him seems oddly familiar, but she’s had no time for a personal life since her fiancé passed away days before their wedding. Maddy does her best to stop thinking about the irresistible Cal. But as the secrets between them grow, so does the attraction. Can they confess their hidden desires in time for true love to blossom?
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
Just who was Cal Forrest? Shy Madeline Blainn’s new neighbor was as mysterious as he was mesmerizing. First, he’d turned her simple world topsy-turvy—and then her heart. Cal’s passionate kisses made falling in love easy—but just who was she really falling for?
Dear Reader:
Back by popular demand! Diana Palmer has long been a favorite of Silhouette readers, and it is with great pleasure that we bring back these impossible-to-find classics.
After the Music, Dream’s End, Bound by a Promise, Passion Flower, To Have and to Hold and The Cowboy and the Lady are some of the first books Diana Palmer ever wrote, and we’ve been inundated by your many requests for these stories. All of us at Silhouette Books are thrilled to put together books four, five and six of Diana Palmer Duets—each volume holds two full novels.
Earlier this year we published the first three volumes of Diana Palmer Duets, containing Sweet Enemy, Love on Trial, Storm Over the Lake, To Love and Cherish, If Winter Comes and Now and Forever, to universal acclaim and sell-out crowds. Don’t miss this chance of a lifetime to add to your collection.
The twelve novels contained in the six “Duets” show all the humor, intensity, emotion and special innocence that have made Diana Palmer such a beloved name at Silhouette Books. I’d like to say to Diana’s present, past and future fans—sit back, relax and enjoy!
Best wishes,
Isabel Swift
Editorial Manager
A Note from Diana Palmer
Dear Readers:
This book contains To Have and to Hold—my third published book—and The Cowboy and the Lady, my first published Silhouette Desire.
To Have and to Hold was strictly for fun. I loved that big black dog of Cal Forrest’s, especially when he ate Madeline’s steak and pushed her down in the stream behind the house. He was actually based on my own dog, Mingo, a Doberman Pinscher whose ears had never been properly clipped.
James and I almost didn’t get married because of Mingo. At the time James and I started courting—if you can call getting engaged on a Wednesday and married the following Monday a real courtship—there were three women in the house: my mother, whom I called George, my sister and me. Dad was temporarily living in Atlanta, having just changed jobs. Mingo had gotten used to protecting his girls, and he definitely did not like strange men. The minute James walked in the house, Mingo jumped up on the nearest chair, bared his sharp white teeth and let loose his best professional wrestler growl.
The fact that James refused to be intimidated really floored that dog. He went from puzzlement to shock to actual shame. By the end of our five-day courtship, Mingo would slink away and whine when James came in the door. Poor old dog. I felt that he did at least deserve a little immortality because of his perseverance, so I added him to the cast of To Have and to Hold.
The cat, Cabbage, was not patterned after our only resident Siamese cat. Our cat was neither cross-eyed nor female. He was a mean-tempered, macho-type male cat who hated everyone—especially me. From the beginning, he belonged strictly to James. If he ever got mad at James, he would come and bite me instead!
Lucifer—he lived down to the name, believe me—came to live with us in 1972. By 1979, when To Have and to Hold was written, he was seven years old and smugly secure in his position of Solitary Adored House Cat. I hate smug cats, so I conspired to undermine his position in the household. I bought another Siamese cat. This one was female, cross-eyed and loving. She was a totally different kind of cat from Lucifer. I named her Kwan Yin, after the oriental goddess of beauty. Sadly, her elegant name lasted one day. She was sitting in my lap when a door slammed. Always high-strung, she dug in her very sharp claws and took off like a hotrod.
“Awww,” James said, grinning as he eyed my scratches. “Mama’s little Boo-Boo.”
Boo-Boo she is, to this day. But in To Have and to Hold, she was Cabbage.
We lost Lucifer in 1989—ten years after he became accustomed to Boo-Boo. She has been a lost soul ever since. Lucifer was seventeen years old, not a bad life span for a beautiful and much-loved old friend. I buried him under my favorite dogwood tree, in the front yard, and planted violets around him. They are almost exactly the color of his eyes.
The secret identity that E. F. McCallum adopts in the book—pretending to be Cal Forrest—springs from my fascination with such heroes as Zorro and Superman when I was a child. I always loved the idea of a secret identity, so I couldn’t resist having Madeline’s boss adopt one during his sick leave. When he revealed his true identity and she had to deal with the differences in their life-styles, I delighted in the resulting drama. I have to confess that I enjoyed the opportunity for some humor, as well. My first two books were rather dark in tone. This one was light and airy, with madcap people and animals. When Madeline dumped the pie on McCallum’s stomach, I laughed until I cried. I could see the syrupy apples running down over that white sweatshirt and hear McCallum yelling his head off. It was my favorite scene. My next favorite was when she backed down her driveway and hit his car. Poor guy. It was nice that he survived their courtship, though.
The scene on the beach in Panama City, Florida, was retracing old paths for me. For many years, my family spent several days every summer on the Miracle Strip in Panama City, shelling and playing in the surf. My sister, Dannis, was just a toddler then. It was so much fun, watching her experience the beach for the first time. We lived in Atlanta then, and she’d never seen anything like the Gulf of Mexico. Neither had I; seagulls and pelicans, bone-white sand and aqua water, were equally fascinating to me. I sat on the balcony of our room and watched the whitecaps break in quick chain reactions at night, with the moon shining down on the dark water. I remember thinking at the time—I was only fourteen—that someday I was going to write a book about the place. Even at that age, writing was all I ever wanted to do.
Well, I did write the book, and To Have and to Hold was it. I tried to capture the excitement I felt the first time I saw the Miracle Strip, along with the tangible delight that the atmosphere held for me. I hope I succeeded.
The Cowboy and the Lady was my first Silhouette Desire, and it wasn’t light in tone like To Have and to Hold. If anything, it was a dark drama with a very masculine hero and a feminine heroine. Amanda was very much on the defensive with Jace Whitehall, and it was obvious to me from the beginning that she was going to have a hard time.
Jace is my favorite of all the heroes I’ve ever created. He isn’t as complex as some have been, but he has traits that I liked and admired. I often wished that I’d had the space of a longer book, because the chemistry between these two characters was immediate and explosive any time they were together. I have never enjoyed a story as much. Even when I finished the book, I couldn’t stop developing the characters. My filing cabinets are full of scenes I couldn’t fit into the book. The only other book that affected me so strongly was To Love and Cherish. I don’t really know why they made such a lasting impression on me. But they did, and I’d still love the opportunity to go back and add more to them.
The idea of having Jace celibate for so long wasn’t really something I planned. Like so many facets of a character, this one popped out of thin air and refused to be dislodged. Some people think that long periods of celibacy are not possible for men. Whether they are or not, Jace said he had been, and I wasn’t about to argue with him! Really, this is fiction, and the ideals of romantic love may not be very realistic—but they are beautiful.
Fidelity, honor, loyalty and sacrifice are noble virtues. In bygone eras, they were life itself. A man’s word was like money in the bank, a woman’s virtue was a pearl beyond price, and honor was worth dying for. Maybe those old-fashioned ideas are out of date, but I still believe in them.
I admired Don Quixote tilting at windmills as he sought to restore honor and nobility to a weary, cynical world. I like characters with noble ideas, virtues beyond price and honor. Being bad is easy. Being good is not. The very rarity of true virtue makes it intriguing to me. Perhaps that’s why I enjoy building characters who portray it. And perhaps I saw too many replays of Man of La Mancha in my youth! I always have loved windmills, and there are plenty of them in Texas. Cervantes created his character as a Spaniard, but he would have made a great Texan.
All in all, I prefer writing books with Western settings. There is something timeless about a vast plain where men struggle against nature itself to carve a life—or an empire—for themselves. The men who tamed the West were a special breed. I have enjoyed recreating that pioneer spirit in modern-day cattlemen, in heroes who are, I hope, a little larger than life. If their virtues are slightly magnified, it is to compensate for the flaws of modern society, which are also magnified. Romance fiction offers a brief escape from the pain and pressure of modern life, taking you into a world where the human spirit can be noble and strive for a higher, richer existence. My characters aren’t completely true to life—but then, perhaps that’s their appeal.
I have enjoyed sharing my rose-colored dreams with you. If they have made your heart a little lighter, your step a little surer, your sadness a little more bearable, then I have succeeded beyond my wildest hopes. May your lives be as bright and joyful as your friendship has made mine. God bless you.
Your friend,
To Have And To Hold
Diana Palmer
www.millsandboon.co.uk
CONTENTS
Cover
Back Cover Text
Dear Reader
Title Page
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
Extract
Copyright
CHAPTER 1
Madeline heard the bustle of the other girls gathering up purses and sweaters, slamming desk drawers, covering typewriters, and she smiled to herself as she finished typing a letter. It was Friday, and she didn’t blame them for hurrying. Most of them were barely out of their teens, and had boyfriends. Friday night meant dinner and a show to them.
But for Madeline Blainn, it meant a steak for one seared on the brick charcoal grill behind her spacious suburban home. At twenty-four, she was a career woman in every sense of the word. Tall, slender, a clotheshorse, she was the envy of her friends, not only for her loveliness, but for her poise as well. Nothing ever rattled Madeline. Not the nervous assistant who helped her handle the home office in Atlanta for her mysterious ever-absent new boss. Not the bustle of high finance or the screaming pace of dictation and phone calls that went with it. Not even the disagreements that were legion among the girls in the other offices. Nothing ever rattled Madeline.
“Going home tonight?” Brenda teased with a smile as she stopped in the doorway on her way out.
Madeline shrugged her shoulders and gave her friend an easy smile, her dark eyes quiet. “Two more letters to go. Mr. Richards said he was to have them out today—McCallum’s orders,” she added with mock solemnity, and brushed away a strand of auburn hair that curled rebelliously at her eye.
“Oh, yes, Mr. Mystery.” Brenda laughed. “You’d think he’d drop in on his own company once in a while, wouldn’t you? Have you ever seen him at all?”
Madeline shook her head. “Not even once. Of course,” she added mischievously, “I was just across the way with the peons until that promotion two months ago. This building is strictly for the company brass, so it isn’t likely that I’d have seen E.F. McCallum in person.” She frowned. “I wonder what the E.F. stands for? Ever Faithful? Evenly Fried?”
“How about Eccentric Fiend?” Brenda suggested. “After all, they say he’s relentless when it comes to business. You wouldn’t know about that, of course; you only know about the big boss through Mr. Richards.” She sighed. “Dear old Mr. Richards.”
Madeline eyed her. “He’s a very nice man until something goes wrong.”
“Something always goes wrong,” her friend countered.
“He never yells when one of us is out sick,” she returned doggedly.
Brenda shook her head. “You’ll find at least one nice thing to say about the devil, wouldn’t you, dear? Don’t you ever wonder what McCallum looks like?” she asked suddenly.
“Yes. But I think I know why nobody ever sees him,” she said with a taciturn expression.
“Why?”
“I’ll bet he’s got terminal acne,” Madeline said, “and only goes out with his head in the hood. Or maybe he’s so short and wizened that. . . .”
“I’ve heard all this before. Have a nice weekend, bye!” And Brenda was gone like a small whirlwind.
With a sigh, Madeline finished her letters and signed them with McCallum’s name and her initials. They’d still have to be okayed through Mr. Richards, in spite of the fact that she was technically answerable to McCallum only. But, she reasoned, how could she be answerable to a phantom?
She held out a letter and studied the name with a slight frown. What, she wondered, was E.F. McCallum like? Was he tall, short, old, young? He might have walked through her former office a dozen times, and she’d never known who he was. She’d never even seen a picture of him, because rumor had it that he’d been known to break cameras that were poked in his face. Another argument, she thought wickedly, in favor of the terminal acne theory. . . .
Of course, she reminded herself, McCallum was the head of a dozen corporations just like this one, and probably in each of the international offices he had a man just like Mr. Richards who held the reins of control. But why couldn’t he, just once a year or so, stop in to review the troops and let himself be seen? There were always rumors, of course. This month’s favorite was that he had a mistress in France and spent the majority of his time in the Paris office for that reason. But there were just as many counter rumors linking him with women all over the world. Nobody really knew McCallum.
Of course, there was the usual bonus every Christmas with his personally signed and much duplicated note of thanks. There was a Christmas card, a very fancy one, with his signature engraved in gold leaf. There was a small gift for each of his personal staff, but no personal contact. Ever.
Perhaps it was just as well, Madeline thought as she finished stuffing the envelopes and stamped them. The mystery had its own delight, and if she wanted to pretend that her never-seen boss was the image of Clark Gable, that was nobody’s business. Anyway, a man in a dream was ever so much safer than a real one. After Phillip
She gathered her sweater and purse and went home.
* * *
As she pulled into the long driveway of the suburban house her aunt had willed her, she glanced next door and saw that the workmen were still busy on the patio and swimming pool which were being added to it. The familiar red Jaguar and the familiar blonde, however, were missing. There was a very sedate black Mercedes in the driveway.
The blonde had been a landmark to the neighbors for two years or more. Why a woman of such obvious wealth chose to make her home in this middle-class neighborhood was the subject of much speculation. She never mixed with the neighbors or had anything at all to do with them. Probably, Madeline thought, she was simply too busy for it—which was a kinder sentiment than most of the other residents aired. The majority’s opinion was that she was some rich man’s mistress. Of course, there were rarely any visitors who stayed overnight; and even then, the cars were always different, and, Madeline told herself, nobody, not even the super rich came in a new and different luxury car every time.
Dismissing the puzzle, she parked her small economy car under the carport, locked it, and went into the comfortable split-level house that had been the last home of her aunt and uncle. It was really a bigger house than she needed, but it had been home for a number of years now, and she liked the seclusion of the nearby woods, the little stream that ran through the property, and the garden spot to grow things in. Besides, it was a pleasant neighborhood with pleasant people who, thank God, minded their own business and left each other alone. Madeline liked the privacy of it. The tall hedge between her and the blonde was as good as a stone wall, and there was nothing but a small forest of fruit trees on the other side of the house. Trees in the yard sheltered her from the road. It was like a country home although it was just minutes from the sprawling office complex where she worked. And she loved it.
As she walked into the living room, with its clutter of patchwork cushions and earth colors in the furnishings, she saw Sultana stretched lazily on the brown upholstery of the couch, where she had no business being. With a laugh, Madeline swept the lean, long Siamese cat up in her arms.
“You bad cat,” she chided, watching the crossed blue eyes stare unblinkingly back at her from the smoky gray face in startling contrast to the snowy white that surrounded her points. “You know you don’t belong on the couch. Come here and I’ll feed you.”
She put the young feline on the floor, and Sultana followed her into the kitchen chattering noisily in a voice that sounded like a cross between a squalling baby and a Model-T Ford that couldn’t quite start.
“Noisy, aren’t you?” Madeline laughed. “I don’t know why I bother talking to you, Cabbage, when I don’t speak Siamese any better than you understand English.”
Sultana was the name on the cat’s papers, but Cabbage she had become when she ate a chunk of it that Madeline was shredding for slaw. She’d read somewhere about cats having three names—one for special occasions, one for everyday, and; one that was secret. It seemed to be true. The secret one was probably only to Sultana, too.
Sultana Cabbage made a loud remark as she settled down in front of her bowl. Madeline left her there and went to change clothes, still vaguely curious about that third name.
Minutes later, in a pair of beige slacks with a beige and white cotton knit blouse, she started a fire in the charcoal grill in the back yard. It was early summer, and the afternoons were warm and pleasant. Madeline loved to eat out on the picnic table and listen to the crickets and June bugs harmonizing in the woods. Especially after a day like today.
She pulled a thick steak from the refrigerator, slapped it on a platter and sliced an onion on top of it.
“I’ve been looking forward to this all day,” she told Cabbage. “Sorry, girl, but it just isn’t enough for both of us, and I’m not sharing it.”
If cats could grimace, the Siamese did, and gave her what really looked like a I-hope-you-drop-it look.
Madeline went out the back door without paying much attention to her immediate surroundings. The fragrance of blooming shrubs and flowers was everywhere. The sun was low on the horizon, the skies were streaked with red and gold. It was, she sighed, such a beautiful afternoon. Her mind was on that beauty and that luscious steak she was about to cook, and she didn’t think about company. That was why she hadn’t noticed the large black Doberman pinscher who was walking slightly behind her, sniffing the air and licking his lips.
Seconds later, lying on her back in the grass, staring up into the sharp, white teeth that were grinding up her thick, red steak, it was impossible not to notice him anymore. He was standing on her stomach with his front paws, and he felt like two bags of wet cement.
Her eyes like saucers, the fear making her mouth dry, she gasped up at him breathlessly, wondering if the steak was going to fill up such a large dog. She felt like a large slab of fresh meat, and it was all she could do to make noise come out of her throat.
“N-nice puppy,” she choked in a loud whisper, as he wolfed down the last tidbit of steak and licked his jowls noisily. “Oh, nnnnice p-puppy! Wouldn’t you like to go run it off now, puppy, hmmmm?” she managed.
“Puppy? My God, are you blind?” came a rough, decidedly masculine voice from above her head. “Suleiman, down, you dammed glutton! Down!”
The note of no-nonsense authority in that deep, impatient voice moved the dog immediately. Even Madeline responded to it, getting to her feet with a speed and grace that were a credit to her ballet training.
“Are you hurt?” the voice demanded in a tone that said she’d better not be.
She looked into the face that went with the voice and felt as if she’d been slammed in the stomach with a mallet.
She was five foot seven in her stockinged feet, but he still dwarfed her. His leonine face was hard and uncompromising and was topped by waving dark hair threaded with silver. He had to be close to forty, but there was not an ounce of flab on that athlete’s body. He was all muscle, from the powerful legs in dark slacks to the massive chest and shoulders encased in a spotless white shirt. He was watching her through slitted eyes, eyes so deep-set and narrow she couldn’t even tell their color.
“Will you answer me, damn it, or are you dumb as well?” he growled.
Her dark eyes flashed fire at him, and she pushed back her disheveled auburn hair with a hand that trembled despite her attempt at poise.
“The only dumb thing I did,” she said in a voice like a straight razor, “was walk out that door unarmed! Tomorrow, so help me, I’ll bring a shotgun!”
Something glittered in those narrow eyes, although his face was as hard as a stone wall. He studied her as if she were a new breed of animal, quietly, insolently.
“Well, that’s the first time I’ve ever known Burgundy to pack a punch,” he said, his eyes on her hair that was dancing with fiery lights in the late-afternoon glow. “I’m not used to women who fight instead of flirt.”
She didn’t doubt it. He was attractive, in a rugged, dark sort of way. But years older than men she was used to, and far too domineering.