As much as she understood, Amy refused to be Scrooged out of the holiday altogether. Tonight she would sing carols and look at the tree decorated at the front of the sanctuary and soak it all in for a blessed hour. She looked forward to this every year.
“Mom, why don’t you come with me? The service is so great.”
“Not this year, Amy.” Mary Wilson’s voice was tired. She looked up from her chair, where she was watching television. “You go and have fun.”
Amy went back into the living room and perched on the arm of the sofa. Since the wedding she’d been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking about what she wanted and the person she wanted to be. Something had changed in the moment she’d stepped out of the bathroom with Jack. Something good. Something...strong.
She’d been going to wait to broach the subject but the time felt right. “Mom, what would you say if I told you I wanted to go to school?”
Mary’s head turned, her program forgotten. “School? When? Where?” Was that fear Amy saw in her eyes? It only made her more nervous. Amy kept pushing for Mary to get out, but what would happen if she weren’t here anymore to give that nudge?
“Not far,” Amy assured her. “In the fall. I’ve been looking into college courses in the city. I’d have to get an apartment, but I wouldn’t be far away. I could come home lots. Every weekend.”
She wished she could tell what her mother was thinking. But years of hiding her emotions had served Mary well. Her face gave away nothing now that the initial shock was over. “You’re unhappy at the flower shop?” Mary asked.
Amy chose her words carefully. She didn’t want to put everything on her mother’s shoulders. It wasn’t about blame, though Amy did harbor some resentment for how she’d grown up in a cheerless house. At the same time, she understood. And she would never, ever want to add to her mom’s distress.
“I just can’t see myself staying there for the rest of my life, you know? I want more. I want...options. But I don’t want to leave you all alone, either.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
Amy frowned. “But I do worry about you. About you being alone. I wish you’d come with me to church. Maybe try to be a part of the community again. Don’t you think it’s time?”
Mary looked away. “Maybe another time. Just not today.”
Amy knew that look. It was the “discussion closed” look. Disappointed, she got up. “I won’t be too late,” she said quietly.
“Have a good time.”
The words sounded empty. There was no joy at Christmas, not in the Wilson house. And while Amy longed to get away, she was worried, too. Worried about what would happen to her mom if she were left all alone. At least now she left the house to work. Get groceries. What if that changed?
Amy walked to the church, taking deep breaths of the cold air and enjoying the sound of snow crunching under her favorite boots to shake her dull mood. The parking lot was already full and golden light spilled from the windows, welcoming her. She shook off the heavy weight of her talk with her mom and stepped inside into the warmth and cheer.
Then she spotted Jack.
He’d really come back to celebrate Christmas with his family, then. Something warm and lovely wound its way through her, making her smile. Jack had been a wonderful surprise at the wedding. She’d been at her lowest in the moment Rhys had uttered those words. To her it hadn’t felt like she was the last woman he wanted to be with—it had felt like she was the last woman anyone would want. That she had absolutely nothing to offer.
Jack had changed that. Oddly enough it hadn’t been his attention that had affected her so deeply. Or the way he’d kissed her and held her close—though that had been very memorable. It was how he’d brought her in, included her in his evening with his parents. As if she belonged. As if she were their equal. She’d never had that before.
He looked over and his face broke out in a smile when he recognized her. She gave a little wave and watched as he excused himself from the group he was in and came over.
“Hey,” he said, and to her surprise he gave her a quick hug. He smelled scrumptious, some sort of expensive cologne she didn’t recognize. “I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight.”
“Just about the whole town goes out for the local services,” she replied. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
“You’re here alone?”
She shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “My mom’s the exception to the rule. Long story.”
“You’ll sit with us, then.” He said it as if it were a done deal.
“Jack, you don’t have to do that. I’m a big girl.” She batted her eyelashes. “See? No tears. No rescuing of damsels in distress required tonight.”
Once again that strange expression washed over his face, but then he smiled brightly at her. “Well, that’s good news. But you can sit with us anyway.” He leaned in. “I’m the only one not paired up. I hate being a third wheel.”
She doubted that but it was also nice to know she didn’t have to sit alone. “Okay, then.”
“Let me hang up your coat.”
She grinned at him. “Are you trying to start more rumors?”
He laughed. “My mom taught me good manners, remember?”
“I’ll remember to thank her for it later.”
He took the coat from her hands and hooked it on a hanger. “So...how’ve you been?”
“Good,” she answered. “Busy.” It was true. The flower shop had been steady all week long. “Doing some thinking.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting.” He raised an eyebrow.
“I came to a rather radical decision, actually. I need to get out of here, Jack. What am I going to do, work at the flower shop for the rest of my life?”
“You’re getting itchy feet?”
She nodded. “I want to do something. I want to see places. So I’m taking the next eight months to build up my savings so I can move to the city and take classes when the fall term starts.”
They made their way slowly to the sanctuary door. “That’s great, Amy. Any idea what you’re going to study?”
She nodded. “Hospitality management. I like working with people. And I have good organizational skills. I think I could be good at it.”
“I can see that. You’re very good at the flower shop.” He stared at her for a few moments more and she wondered what he was thinking. She also noticed shadows beneath his eyes. Jack, for all his charming smiles, was exhausted. What was causing him to lose sleep?
“You don’t think I can do it?” she asked.
“On the contrary. Didn’t I just say so?”
The words were glib but there was an edge to his voice that confirmed her suspicion. “Hey, is everything okay with you? You look tired. A little stressed.”
“Funny you should mention that...”
At that moment his family made their way over and suggested they find their seats, so their conversation was halted until they found themselves packed into a rather full pew. She didn’t mind being close to Jack. In fact she’d thought about it perhaps a little too often over the past several days.
“Where’s Taylor?” Amy asked, opening the bulletin and scanning the order of service.
“We had dinner at the diner. I think she stayed to help Rhys and Martha clean up.”
“They’re still an item, then?”
He nudged her with his elbow. “You’ve been here all week. You’d know better than I would.”
She turned her head and met his gaze. “I’ve been avoiding the gossip mill. And from the look on your face, I’d say you know more than you’re letting on. Anyway, I was just making conversation.”
Jack sighed. “Sorry. You were right before. I’m touchy.”
“Any reason in particular?” She put down the bulletin and gave him her full attention.
“Labor issues. Or rather, lack of. One of my staff was in a bad accident this week.”
Amy put her hand on his arm. “Oh, no! Are they okay?”
He nodded. “Yes, thank goodness. Or she will be—in time. But it was serious. She’s got a broken pelvis, and the doctors say that she’ll be off at least three months.”
“Surely someone can fill in for her? A temp?”
Jack shook his head. “She basically runs the corporate retreat business at the ranch. I did what I could this week while I was there, but on Boxing Day I’m going back there again to get things settled. Once the holidays are over, we’ve got groups starting up again. Groups that have been booked for months. Finding a temp this week, with all the statutory holidays? Just about impossible.”
The service started and the lights dimmed. After several carols to set the mood, there was a brief message and then came Amy’s favorite part—“Silent Night.” Everyone was given a single candle in a holder, and as the choir started the first verse, the minister made his way down the aisle and lit the candles on the end. Wick was touched to wick until all the candles were lit and the congregation joined in for the second and third verses. Beside her, Jack relaxed, his warm, tenor voice joining in with the others.
And then it was over, the candles extinguished, and the lights came up. Chatter erupted as good wishes for the holiday were exchanged. Little children bounced with excitement, because now that church was over they were one step closer to Santa Claus. Jack chuckled as one particularly cute boy with little round glasses tugged on his father’s hand, claiming they had to hurry and get the cookies out so he could go to bed.
“Amy, good to see you again.” Susan came over and gave her a brief hug. “Do you have plans for the holiday?”
Once she got over the surprise of the affectionate gesture, Amy smiled. “Oh, just spending tomorrow with my mom. Keeping things quiet.”
“That sounds lovely.”
Callum and Avery joined them briefly, Callum carrying a sleeping Nell. “Merry Christmas, Amy.”
“You, too. Baby’s first Christmas. Pretty exciting at your house.”
“Yeah.” Avery smiled. “And it’s nice to have all of Callum’s family here. I see Taylor and Rhys made it.” She nodded toward the back of the church, where the couple was standing with Rhys’s mother, Martha.
To Amy’s mind, the way Avery paired their names together pretty much answered any question Jack might have had.
Jack turned to Amy. “How’d you get here?”
She smiled. “I walked. Got some fresh air.”
“I’ll drive you home.”
“Are you sure?”
He smiled back. “Of course I am. I do know where you live.”
Yes, he did. He’d walked her home before in the cold. Any lingering they might have done at her door had been cut short by the frigid wind and her freezing feet. But it hadn’t stopped him from leaning in and dropping a light kiss on her lips just the same.
They gathered their coats and he led her to his new rental car.
The heater hadn’t even really kicked in by the time they got to her house. Jack parked on the street and left the engine running. “I wish I could see you again before I go back, but with family obligations and the trouble back home...”
“I understand completely. It’s no biggie, Jack. I didn’t even think I’d see you again. Thanks for including me tonight.”
“I was glad for the company.”
“So you’re heading back on the twenty-sixth. Any idea what you’re going to do about your problem?”
He sighed. “Making sure Rosa’s doing okay and that her family has everything they need is the first thing. And then I’ll have to check I have the bookings straight and look at hiring someone to fill in.”
“Surely it won’t be that difficult. Is there an agency you can use?”
“Maybe, but Rosa’s a force of nature. She looks after the business but also does all the cooking and cleaning for our guests. I’ll probably have to hire two people to replace her.”
Amy looked out the window. A flurry was starting, little white flakes drifting to the ground. All along her street houses were lit up with lights—white ones, multicolored, inflatable snowmen and penguins—and every door held a wreath. But not hers. There was a glow from a single window but no flickering reflection of a Christmas tree or any hint of holiday cheer. She didn’t want to go inside. Wished she could be anywhere but here right now. Then felt automatically guilty about it.
“My mom’s not much for decorating,” she said quietly, knowing Jack had to have noticed.
“And you never thought to go about it yourself?”
She looked over at him. His features were illuminated by the dashboard lights. There was no criticism in his voice. In fact, Jack Shepard was probably the first person she’d ever met who didn’t seem to make any judgments at all. Maybe he’d been on the receiving end and knew how it felt. Once again she remembered the stories from the news. Speculation about the affair right under his coach’s nose. How much of it had been true? It was hard to believe he would have done such a thing. It just wasn’t Jack.
“My mom forbade decorating,” she answered, her voice barely above a whisper. “My dad left us at Christmas. She hates the holidays.”
“I’m sorry. That’s rough.”
“It was years ago. She should be able to move on. But moving on seems to be one thing neither of us are very good at. I swear, Jack, deciding to go away to school has taken such a load off my shoulders. And yet...”
“And yet she’ll be here alone. And you’ll worry about her.”
“Yeah,” she answered, relieved he understood.
He reached over and took her hand. “Do you want to come over to Callum’s tomorrow? I’m sure it would be fine with Avery.”
“No, that’s okay. I just wish...”
“You wish what?”
She sighed. “That I could get away for a bit. Just somewhere different, to really think about what it is I want.”
“Where you won’t be influenced one way or the other?”
“Or fall back into comfortable habits.”
Her gaze met his as a kernel of an idea took hold. He had a problem, and she was restless. What if they could help each other out?
“Look, things around the shop are always slow after Christmas. What if...” She took a deep breath. “What if I came down and helped you out for a few weeks? I’m pretty sure I could handle the admin you need done. It’d give you some breathing room before having to hire someone new.”
“You’re serious.”
“Of course I’m serious. It would only be for a short time.” Her mom would be fine for a few weeks. It would be a good trial run.
He turned in the seat and faced her squarely. “I couldn’t officially pay you, you understand. Unless you have a U.S. work visa I know nothing about.”
He was considering it. She didn’t mind the work; she could file and type and answer phones and schedule things without blinking an eye. In return she’d have a few weeks in a Montana lodge, surrounded by snow and roaring fires and whatever else she could come up with. “It’d be like a vacation for me, I promise. You don’t have to pay me anything. I’ll do it in exchange for room and board.”
“You’re crazy.”
“I’m desperate.” She looked back at the house again. “Jack, I’ve felt stuck in this hick town for as long as I can remember.” She lifted a hand. “It’s my own fault, and I know that. You’d be helping me and I’d be helping you. Win-win.”
“I’m not sure desperation is the best motive here.”
Was he talking about her need to get away or the small matter of what had happened between them less than two weeks ago? They’d been all but plastered together on the dance floor and later in the parlor at the B and B. She wasn’t sure how to bring it up, but she felt one of them should.
“If you’re worried about there being atmosphere, don’t. That’s not why I’m going. I’ve sworn off men, remember?”
He laughed shortly. “I’ve heard that before.”
She put her hand on his arm. Even through his overcoat she felt the strength and warmth of it. There was no denying that Jack was strong and sexy as hell. No denying that her pulse had raced being held in his arms. But for once in her life she was focused on a goal. She wasn’t about to get distracted now. Not even by someone as amazing as Jack.
“It would be good experience for me. If I’m considering going into hospitality management, what better training could I ask for? If I like it I’ll be really sure. And it’ll be a good test run for my mom, too. It’ll take her some getting used to—being alone, that is.”
“So there’s nothing here at all?” He moved his finger back and forth, gesturing between the two of them.
She hesitated. “You want the truth or a lie?”
His lips twitched. “The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”
“The truth is you’re a nice guy and a great kisser, but I have bigger fish to fry at the moment. If you’re worried about me getting all clingy and having expectations or something...don’t.”
He sat back. “Brutal honesty. I like it.” He ran a finger over his chin. “It would give me some breathing room. I have to be in Vancouver for meetings right after New Year’s....”
“There, you see?”
He frowned. “This all seems rather convenient.”
She paused for a moment. Listened to the air blowing through the heater vents. Looked out at the street, awash in Christmas cheer.
“I don’t want to be this person anymore,” she whispered. “For years I’ve done exactly what my mother has done—accepted my lot in life and done a fair bit of complaining about it. It’s not enough. Rhys said I was the last woman in the world he’d want to date. I don’t want to be the last woman in the world for anything or anyone. I want to do something. I want to learn how. I would give anything to have the confidence and competence of someone like your sister. I’ve got to start somewhere. Please, Jack. I promise I’ll do a good job for you. You won’t regret it.”
Jack stared at her, his eyes dark in the dim light of the car. He wasn’t joking or smiling. Maybe that was what she liked about him. He didn’t make fun of her, even when she made it easy for him.
“Can you be ready early on the twenty-sixth?”
“You set the time and I’ll be waiting.”
“And you’ve got a passport?”
“I do.”
“Then you’ve got a deal. I’ll call you with the details.”
“Perfect.” A smile broke out on her face. She was really going to do this. Something spontaneous, maybe even a little daring—at least in her small world. “You won’t regret it, Jack,” she repeated. “You’ll see.”
“I’m counting on it. Now get going. I’ve got to get back to the house and spend some time with the family.” He held out his hand. “Should we shake on it?”
Amy peeled off her glove and put her hand in his. The moment their fingers touched sparks zinged up her arm and made her catch her breath. Her gaze rose to Jack’s and she saw the same electricity reflected in his pupils.
“It won’t get in the way,” she assured him.
He pulled his hand away from hers. “Boxing Day morning. I’ll pick you up on the way to the airport.”
“See you then.”
He didn’t get out of the car this time, didn’t go around to open her door or walk her to the steps. It was just as well. New boundaries had been set.
She hurried up the patio stones to the front door and turned just in time to see him pulling away from the curb.
He wouldn’t regret it. She’d make sure.
Now she just had to break the news to her mother and pack her suitcase.
Chapter Three
Jack sincerely hoped he wasn’t making a colossal mistake.
He looked over at Amy, who kept staring out the window of the Citation. He hadn’t realized that she’d never flown before. When she’d said she had a passport, he’d assumed she’d traveled a little, but she remarked that she’d only had one for the odd trip across the border. When she’d discovered that he’d chartered a private plane for the trip, her usually big eyes got even bigger. And he’d thought she was about to swallow her tongue when he offered her breakfast once they were settled in the plush leather seats. It had only been coffee and croissants, but it didn’t seem to matter to her. Everything was an adventure.
Her innocent surprise and pleasure made him feel about ten feet tall. Which was weird because he wasn’t really into ego stroking. Maybe it was more that his life had gotten so busy that he tended to forget how special things were. He was worried about what was waiting for him in Montana. Amy was enjoying the journey.
Hmm. Maybe he needed to do a little more of that.
“What are you looking at?” he asked.
“Clouds. Isn’t that amazing? We’re above the clouds.”
“And when we start our descent, you’ll be able to see the ground. Mountains and everything.”
“This is so cool. I never dreamed we were taking a private plane.”
He chuckled and sat down beside her. “Hey, it’s not like I own it.” Though to be honest he’d considered it. He did enough traveling that it might be worth it. He could always lease it out to help cover the cost.
“Doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not,” she said. “It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever done.”
Her smile was bright and contagious. She was going with him to help out, but he got the feeling that seeing her experience things for the first time was going to be fun. There were lots of things to do in and around the ranch. Maybe they could carve out some time for more than just work.
More than just work. The agreement was purely business, wasn’t it?
He wanted to think so. Amy had asked him if he had a rescue complex and he’d denied it, but her question had hit rather close to home. Maybe he did. It had been years since Sheila and the following scandal, but it still left a bitter taste in his mouth. He’d tried to help. Tried to offer Sheila a way out. Rationally he knew it wasn’t his fault she hadn’t taken it. It didn’t stop the guilt, though.
The truth was, he had stepped in at the wedding for two reasons. First, he’d seen the hurt on Amy’s face. She’d looked first surprised at Rhys’s put-down and then defeated, and he hated that. And then there was the fact that he was going crazy beneath the polite smiles and required happiness for Callum. Not that he begrudged his brother a thing. Avery was awesome and Callum’s daughter, Nell, was sweet. But it was a stark reminder of what Jack might have had if things had been different, and Amy had been the perfect distraction.
He’d played it cool back in Cadence Creek. Slowed things down the night of the wedding, hanging out with his parents instead of having a private toast for two in his room. Why, he couldn’t say. He was pretty sure that if he’d pressed the issue, things might have ended in the morning rather than before midnight. But there was something innately sweet about Amy. She hadn’t dug in her claws or tried to make the most of the situation.
And then there was the kiss. The one on the dance floor had whetted his appetite, a small amuse-bouche giving him a taste of what was to come. The kiss in the parlor of the B and B had been different. And still he’d shown restraint. Walked her home. Kissed her good-night at her door.
Then Christmas Eve had arrived and she’d been like a ray of sunshine in the midst of his stress. He’d convinced himself that they could just be friends. Especially when she came up with a very practical solution to his problem.
He frowned as he took another sip of coffee. They were going to be alone at Aspen Valley and now that they were on their way he was reminded of how very beautiful she was and how kissing her had left him wanting more. Much more.
Dammit. He was going to have to be careful, wasn’t he? There was helping and then there was getting in way over his head....
They arrived at the small airport in Whitefish before lunch and transferred into his SUV that he’d left parked. It had snowed on Christmas Day and while the highways were fairly clear, the side roads were more snow-packed and he took his time. The sky was a clear, clear blue, the perfect backdrop for the mountains in the distance. When they finally turned onto the lane leading to his place, he heard Amy catch her breath.
“This is so beautiful. How far until we get to your ranch?”
He grinned, relaxing more and more as they got closer to home. “We’re on it.”
“All this is yours?”