Jack's Baby

CHAPTER FOUR

VISITING hours had ended ten minutes ago. Nevertheless, Nina apprehensively checked the ward corridor, glancing swiftly to both right and left, confirming an all clear before scooting out of the elevator. It was only fifteen metres to her room. She covered the distance as fast as she could without actually running. Hearing Sally’s cheerful voice still rattling away was an assurance that everything was normal.

No-one called out her name. Jack didn’t suddenly emerge from one of the rooms in front of her. She reached her door, and with a thundering sense of being home free swung into the room and quickly closed the door behind her, safeguarding against a casual glance inside from any passer-by.

“There you are,” Sally said with satisfaction. “I was about to send out a search party.”

“Sorry.” Nina turned to her friend, flashing an appeasing smile, and the world tilted as Jack filled her vision, Jack cradling her baby in the crook of his arm. She feebly fumbled for the door, instinctively seeking support, feeling herself sway alarmingly.

“Are you okay?” Anxious question from Sally.

“Here! Quick!” Jack, commanding.

Double vision. Two Jacks bundling babies into two Sallys’ arms, furniture wavering all over the place. Nina closed her eyes. Too difficult to get things straight. Hopelessly dizzy.

Strong arms hooking around her, scooping her off her feet, carrying her, sitting her on the side of the bed, holding her safe, thrusting her head down. “Deep breaths, Nina. Sally, put the kid in its bassinette and pour Nina a glass of water.”

The kid.

A murderous haze billowed into Nina’s fuzzy mind. Her baby—the baby who’d grown inside her for nine long, miserable, lonely months—dismissed as a kid! If she had the strength, she’d put her hands around Jack’s neck and strangle him. How dared he come in here, after all he’d said, and actually hold the child he didn’t want, pretending he didn’t mind?

The kid. Not the baby. Not our daughter. The kid. That said it all to Nina. He probably hadn’t even asked what sex the baby was. Didn’t care. Her heart pumped with furious vigour, clearing her head so fast she didn’t need the glass of water Sally pressed into her hand.

She was tempted to hurl it in Jack’s face. It might sober him up. Whatever impulsive and stupid ardour had driven him into this room needed dampening down. He wasn’t thinking straight, any more than she’d been seeing straight. But she could see straight through him! Having figured out what she was doing in a maternity ward, he had a hot case of guilt.

“You need looking after, Nina,” he said gruffly. “And I’m the man to do it. Drink up now.”

She sipped, just to moisten her throat. Then she glared her outrage at him. “Don’t you tell me what to do, Jack Gulliver. You have no right.”

He returned a determined look. “I contributed to this situation and—”

“You did not.” She cut him off with more belligerent determination. “You trusted me to get the contraception right, and I messed up. It’s all my fault.”

“Accidents happen,” he said grimly.

“Well, you don’t have to pay for this one. I take full responsibility.”

“Sure! And you’re doing a fine job of it, letting yourself get so run down you almost faint at the sight of me.”

“Shock. You holding a baby was more than my mind could encompass.”

“Then you’d better get used to it, Nina, because that kid happens to be my kid, too.”

Her teeth clenched. Her eyes sizzled him to a crisp. “She is not a kid.”

“You’re right,” he snapped. “More like a mind-bending drug than a natural member of the animal kingdom.”

“Huh! Now you’re showing your true colours.”

“Just pointing out how distorted your judgment is.” His eyes flashed green fire. “Denying me the right to know I’ve fathered a child. Denying me the right to make my own decisions. Denying me any chance to stand by you through what has obviously been a rough time. Even a murderer gets his day in court.”

The fierce flow of accusations stunned her for a moment. Justification sped off her tongue. “You told me you don’t want children, Jack Gulliver. So don’t come the injured party to me. I left you free and clear.”

“I didn’t say I wanted to be free and clear. I don’t,” he retorted emphatically. “I was just asking your friend, Sally, how quickly a wedding could be arranged.”

“A wedding!” Shock rolled through her mind again, sapping her energy. She took another sip of water, then handed the glass to Sally, who was still standing by, dumbstruck by the verbals zipping back and forth. Nina gave her a hard, warning look. “What have you been telling him, Sally?”

“Me?” she squeaked. Her mobile face worked through alarm and wary consideration and settled on rueful resignation. “Well, uh, he asked me who I was and I, um, gave him my business card.”

The card! Customised Weddings—We Deliver Your Dream. With her address and telephone number clearly printed on it!

Nina groaned, realizing the milk was spilled and couldn’t be put back into the bottle. She sagged onto her pillow, swung her legs onto the bed and turned away from them, closing her eyes, unutterably depressed by an outcome she would have done anything to avoid.

“If I’ve done the wrong thing…” Sally’s anxious voice floated over her.

“Don’t blame Sally for letting the cat out of the bag, Nina,” Jack quietly interposed. “I would have found out anyway.”

That was probably true. Jack didn’t let go of anything until he was satisfied. Like restoring a piece of antique furniture. He’d work at it and work at it until it was finished precisely as he wanted. Seeing her had done the damage, not Sally’s blabbing.

Nina was suddenly aware of the silence in the room. The other visitors had gone. The babies were quiet. No-one had turned on a television set. Undoubtedly this little real-life drama was more interesting, the unmarried mother confronted by the father of her child. And Jack was so good-looking, so impressively steadfast in rebutting her charges. The two secure wives who shared this room would be looking with favour on him, not knowing what Nina knew.

It was sickening.

“A cup of tea,” Sally said as though plucking the idea out of a tank of possible solutions to the situation. “I’ll go and make one for her, Jack.”

“Good idea,” he approved warmly.

She heard Sally leave. The sound of a chair being shifted and the squeak of its upholstery told her Jack had sat down, settling in for a siege on her solitary position.

No point in hiding from him, Nina decided reluctantly. The music had to be faced, and it was better to get it over with here and now. She rolled onto her back, opened her eyes and steeled herself against the tug of attraction that hadn’t diminished at all with either time or circumstances.

He met her gaze with direct intensity, his expression a moving mixture of compassion and resolution. Tears pricked her eyes. He cared about her. The baby was a complication he didn’t want, but his feeling for her hadn’t changed. It made the necessity of rejecting him again all the more difficult and painful.

It would be so easy to reach out and take the comfort and warmth and pleasure of being with him again. He’d wrap her in his arms and stroke her back and kiss her hair, and she’d feel his body stir with desire for her and…She’d missed him so much. But if she gave in to the need aching through her now, Jack would be encouraged to stick around, and the inevitable consequences would be worse than her current sense of deprivation.

Better to remain independent.

“I don’t need your help, Jack,” she said flatly.

“That’s not how it looks to me, Nina.” He reached out and took her left hand, fondling it warmly, persuasively pressing a link between them as he added, “I think we should get married as soon as possible.”

“No!” She snatched her hand away, feeling as though he’d burned her. Her eyes blazed fierce conviction. “I won’t marry you, Jack.”

“Why not? It’s the most sensible, practical thing to do.”

“I will not subject my baby to a father who doesn’t want her.”

“If you’re worried about the kid, let me assure you—”

“Her name,” Nina interrupted furiously, “is Charlotte.”

“Charlotte?” He frowned. “It doesn’t go very well with Gulliver. Let’s toss a few other names around.”

“Charlotte Brady sounds fine to me.”

Jack studied the stubborn set of her face and made a political retreat. “Fine. If that’s the name you like, I’m happy to go along with it.” He brightened. “On second thoughts, Charlotte isn’t too bad. We can call her Charlie. Charlie Gulliver has a nice ring to it.”

“Charlotte is a girl, Jack,” Nina pointed out with seething emphasis. “She is my daughter and she will remain Charlotte Brady. I am not going to marry you.”

He sighed. Heavily. His eyes glittered with devious intent. “Okay. We’ll just live together then.”

“I have no intention of living with you, Jack. I have my own place. I have everything set up as I want it, and neither I nor my baby requires your support.”

“Brave words, Nina, but what if something goes wrong with your well-laid plans?”

“I’ll cope.”

“You’ll cope better with me at your side.”

“No, I won’t.”

“We’ll see about that,” he declared, letting her know he was not about to be put off, put down or put out.

Nina sighed. Heavily. Jack was going to make a battle of it, no matter what she said. A wave of weakness dragged through her. She wished Charlotte would start bawling her head off. That would soon shift Jack. If her cries set the other babies off, too, he’d be out the door as fast as his feet could carry him.

Sally returned, darting apprehensive looks at Jack and Nina as she put the cup of tea on the mobile tray. “Better now?” she asked hopefully.

Sally Bloomfield was the most assertive person Nina had ever met. She was a brilliant saleswoman, able to talk anybody into anything and make him feel delighted about it. Her appearance was always polished and professional, from her chic auburn hair to her beautifully shod feet. Her smile dazzled, and her bright hazel eyes mesmerised. Sally sailed through life with the blissful belief that no matter what happened, it would turn out for the best. Her optimism was good to be around, but right now Nina needed her professional expertise.

“Tell Jack I’m perfectly capable of doing without him, Sally,” she appealed.

“Right!” She sat herself at the end of the bed and addressed Jack gravely. “It’s like this. Nina and I are set up in business together.”

Jack looked surprised. “Nina is organising weddings, too?”

“No, no, that’s my specialty. I adore weddings. Nina is a great seamstress. She fixes any bridal hire gowns that need altering. Does extra beading and tucks and stuff. Some of our clients have chosen Nina’s own designs, and she makes them so beautifully, it adds a lot to our reputation of delivering the dream.”

Jack frowned. “She won’t have much time for that with the baby. They’re time-consuming little mo—” He caught his breath.

“Monsters,” Nina finished for him. “Go on. Say it, Jack. That’s how you think of them. Monsters!”

“I was going to say moppets,” he corrected her loftily.

“Huh!”

“Well, the thing is,” Sally said swiftly, “Nina doesn’t have to travel anywhere. Everything is very handy. The business is run from my home, and Nina has a completely self-contained granny flat at the back of the premises. She can bring the baby into the house with her when she has to do fittings. There’s really no problem. She’s got a solid income, good accommodation and nothing to worry about.”

“You see? I’m self-sufficient,” Nina declared triumphantly.

“Except for a man,” Sally muttered.

Nina glared at her.

Sally shrugged and flirted with her eyes at Jack. “Well, you must admit, Nina, he is superb lover material. Why not have him? You can always get rid of a husband if it doesn’t work out.”

“Excellent reasoning.” Jack leapt in eagerly. “If she’d just give me a chance—”

“I am not going to marry him,” Nina interrupted.

“There’s a lot of advantages to it, Nina,” Sally argued. “Where would I be without my husbands? I got a car out of the first, a house out of the second and the capital to set up the business from the third.”

Sally had it the wrong way round. Nina didn’t want a sales pitch directed at her, but Sally had the bit between the teeth and was in full spate.

“Husbands can be very handy. You have a built-in escort, sex on demand, someone to look after you if you get sloshed at a party, financial backing, the muscle to stand over tradesmen and make sure they do the job right, and in your case, a no-cost baby minder when you want a break from mothering.”

“That’s where it falls down,” Nina pounced. “Jack hates babies.”

“It’s different with my own kid,” he defended staunchly.

Nina swung on him. “What’s different about it? You think Charlotte won’t cry? That she won’t dirty her nappy and wake up in the middle of the night and take attention away from you?”

“I can adjust.”

“Ingrained attitudes do not disappear overnight, Jack Gulliver.”

A nurse came in and looked disapprovingly at the late visitors. “I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you people to leave. Hospital rules, you know.”

Sally hopped off the bed. “Sleep on it, Nina,” she advised, her eyebrows waggling suggestively. “It’s very easy to get a divorce these days.”

Jack rose reluctantly from his chair. “I’ll be back tomorrow, Nina,” he vowed, a challenge burning in his eyes. “I’m not going to be shut out again.”

Then he turned to look down at the baby in the bassinette, giving her a salute as he moved past. “Good night, kid. This is your dad talking, and don’t let your mum tell you any different.”

“Her name is Charlotte!” Nina shouted after him.

CHAPTER FIVE

THE roses arrived just before the midmorning feeding time. One of the nurses carried in the huge arrangement, grinning from ear to ear. “Three dozen!” she crowed, eyeing Nina with speculative interest. Being given so many was clearly a notable achievement.

“For me?” Nina asked doubtfully.

“It’s your name on the envelope,” came the ready assurance.

They could only be from Jack. Which meant he really would be coming back today, bringing with him all the conflicts she had tried to keep out of the life she had planned for Charlotte and herself. With her heart aflutter with apprehension and her mind clogged with a host of desires she shied away from examining, Nina cleared the top of her bedside cabinet before she was aware of what she was doing.

The nurse set the vase down just as Nina realised she should refuse the extravagant gift. It was weak to give Jack any positive signals. But the deep red buds had a glorious scent, and they were so heart-liftingly beautiful, it seemed unnecessarily churlish to direct them elsewhere. It wouldn’t make any difference in the long run, she argued to herself. The roses would die, just as Jack’s interest in wooing her would die when the crunch of actually having to deal with a baby came.

Having spent a restless night brooding over Jack’s reappearance in her life, Nina remained unpersuaded there was any real hope of a happy future with him. All she could see ahead of them were endless disputes, damaging to everyone, especially Charlotte.

Recollections of her own childhood were still painfully vivid. Her parents had finally separated when she was ten, and she’d been shunted off to live with her grandmother, who was prepared to shoulder the burden. Despite being tolerated, rather than loved, by her grandmother, Nina had found it an enormous relief simply no longer being a bone of continual contention between her parents.

The nurse unpinned the envelope and gave it to her, still grinning. “Red roses for love. Some guy wants to make an impression.”

“He already has,” Nina muttered darkly, and Jack had a lot of winning over to do before she’d change her mind about his fitness to be a father. “Thanks for bringing them in.”

“My pleasure.”

Nina opened the envelope and withdrew the card. It read, “For the woman who’s given me more than anyone else in the world—Love, Jack.”

A lump filled her throat. She had to swallow hard to ease the constriction. The truth of it was Jack had given her more than any man she had ever met, but that did not make him right for Charlotte. Clinging to the conviction he could not be trusted to love their daughter as she should be loved, Nina opened the top drawer of her cabinet and dropped the card in, denying herself the indulgence of reading it over and over again, making more of it than it meant.

“Looks like your Jack is making up for lost time.”

The optimistic comment from Rhonda, one of her room-mates, struck a sensitive chord. Had she done wrong in denying Jack knowledge of her pregnancy? At the time she had imagined a horrified reaction from him. She had believed he would suggest an abortion and do his utmost to harass her into it. Maybe she had done him an injustice.

Nevertheless, the situation last night had been a very different one. A baby who was already born could not be as easily dismissed as an unseen fetus. It was a reality, a living, breathing human being, who was definitely a little person in her own right, one who couldn’t be ignored or discarded as of no account.

Jack might want to diminish her importance, but no way was Nina going to let him relegate Charlotte to some distant place in their lives. Calling her the kid was so offensively impersonal. Nina still burned at the offhand attitude it typified. And corrupting their daughter’s name to Charlie…No doubt if he had to have a child, he would have preferred a boy.

“Three dozen hothouse roses don’t come cheaply,” came the knowing remark from Kim, her other room-mate.

“He can afford them. It’s not money that worries him,” Nina said dryly, niggled by the unsubtle approbation both women had displayed towards Jack since his dramatic appearance on the scene last night. They couldn’t seem to comprehend her reservations about accepting his volte-face on wanting a child in his life.

They were younger than Nina, and the course of their lives had run with conventional smoothness so far. They had every reason to cling to their romantic illusions, not having run into any serious snags themselves.

Kim, at twenty-three, was a rather plump but pretty blonde who’d married the guy she fell in love with at high school. The only career she wanted was being his wife and the mother of his children. Her husband had a permanent job on the railway, and she felt absolutely secure.

Rhonda, at twenty-five, was more sophisticated, a professional hairdresser who intended to keep working until she and her husband had their house paid off. He was a sales representative of a major food company, and their goals had been meticulously planned—their wedding, the baby, the house, their car traded in for a family station wagon.

Rhonda’s catalogued milestones had driven Nina to reflect that none of her own goals had been achieved. She’d worked her way through design school, dreaming of making a name for herself in the fashion industry. Clinching an apprenticeship with a successful designer had seemed a helpful step, yet it had very quickly punched home to her that she’d never have the capital to launch her own brand name in such a highly competitive field. The closest she’d got to establishing her own business was this partnership with Sally.

As for her love-life, there had been no-one of any deep significance until Jack. She’d been twenty-eight at the time of meeting him, Jack thirty-two, and it truly seemed as though Mr. Right had finally come along. The shock had been totally shattering when he’d revealed how anti babies and children he was. Even if she hadn’t been pregnant, it would have made her think twice about continuing their relationship.

Charlotte stirred, giving one of her little mewing cries. Nina swooped on the bassinette, eager to pick up her beautiful baby daughter and cradle her in her arms. She was so tiny and perfect, like a miracle, and Nina still marvelled at the way she latched instantly onto a nipple and sucked.

Having stacked the pillows on the bed for a comfortable position, Nina settled back against them, unbuttoned her nightie and smilingly watched her daughter home in on what she wanted. A rush of deep maternal love reassured Nina of the decisions she had made, despite the situation with Jack.

Although she had never felt a pressing need to have a baby, it had always seemed to her a natural thing to do somewhere along her lifeline. She would have wanted the choice to have a child and would have felt cheated as a woman to be denied it. Maybe it was some subconscious response to not having been wanted herself, but from the moment Nina had learnt she was pregnant, however unplanned it was, all her protective instincts had been aroused. This baby would be wanted and loved and cherished.

She might have been a failure as a daughter, a failure at making a name for herself with her own fashion label, a failure at picking the right man to love, but she was not going to be a failure as a mother. On that Nina was fiercely resolved.

“If your Jack doesn’t worry about money he must have a great job,” Rhonda remarked, obviously interested in the financial angle. She had a budget worked out for everything.

“He runs his own business,” Nina explained.

“Doing what?” Kim pumped.

Nina sighed and gave in to their natural curiosity. “Mostly French polishing. He restores antiques and makes cabinets and other bits and pieces. He’s very good at it.”

A perfectionist, she thought. Like her with her sewing and dress designs. They both enjoyed making something beautiful. Their mutual understanding of the pleasure and satisfaction in creativity was one of the shared bonds that had made their relationship so good.

She wished she could believe in Jack’s turnaround. Maybe she should risk the hurt of giving him a chance. If he persisted. The roses were a heady reminder of Jack’s sensuality. A convulsive little shiver ran over her skin. She had missed the enthralling intimacy of his lovemaking. Sally had a point there. The nights were very lonely by herself.

“I wish my husband was a handy man,” Rhonda said ruefully. “He can’t even change a tap washer.”

“You can always get in a plumber. You can’t hire a doting and devoted father,” Nina pointed out, reminding herself to be very, very wary of where she was heading with Jack, if indeed she was heading anywhere. There would inevitably be a lot of interrupted nights with Charlotte. Jack’s groaning and grumbling wouldn’t exactly be music to her ears.

“Give him time to feel like a father,” Kim advised. “Does Charlotte favour him in looks?”

“Not particularly.”

She looked at their daughter. Her fair hair probably came from him. Not that Jack was fair now, but he must have been when he was a boy. Nina remembered her mother saying she was born with black hair, so Charlotte didn’t take after her in that respect. In any event, Nina was certain Jack hadn’t examined Charlotte for likenesses. She was just the kid to him.

“Well, whether she looks like him or not, babies have a way of winding themselves around fathers’ hearts,” Rhonda declared, unable to imagine any other outcome. “He wouldn’t want to marry you if he didn’t want her.”

The marriage offer had certainly come as a surprise. Probably a conditioned response to the situation, Nina had reasoned, guilt leading to a burst of doing the right thing by her. Given time, Jack would undoubtedly rue the impulsive idea.

“It won’t last,” Nina said, casting a quelling look at Jack’s well-meaning supporters and determinedly dampening the little hope that kept squiggling through her.