The Brooding Stranger
Karen said nothing. It wasn’t her business to pry, or to try and tease more information out of the effusive Mrs Kennedy. She’d heard enough to know that the man had good reason to keep himself to himself, and she of all people could respect that.
‘Well, I’d better be going now. Thanks for everything, Mrs Kennedy.’
‘Do you mind if I ask why you wanted to know about Gray O’Connell?’
Colouring hotly at the question, Karen let her glance settle momentarily on the fat barrel of rosy-red apples by the door, their overripe scent filling the shop.
‘I take an early-morning walk in the woods sometimes. I bumped into him and his dog, that’s all.’ She wouldn’t tell the other woman that she had been scared out of her wits at the sight of the pair of them.
‘He’s an early riser, too, so I hear.’ Eileen shrugged one plump shoulder. ‘I daresay he managed to keep a civil tongue in his head?’
‘Just about.’ Karen’s expression was pained for a moment. ‘I don’t think he was feeling very sociable, either.’
‘That sounds like your man. Don’t pay any mind to his dark ways, will you? Once upon a time he was an entirely different kettle of fish, I can tell you, but tragedy has a way of knocking the stuffing out of folks, and that’s the truth. Some are never the same again.’
I can vouch for that, Karen acquiesced silently. ‘Well … thanks again, Mrs Kennedy. I’ll be seeing you.’
‘Take care of yourself, love. See you soon.’
And with the clanging of the bell behind her, Karen stepped out of the snug little shop, climbed into her car, and hurriedly headed home … .
She didn’t venture into the woods over the next few days. Instead she walked along the deserted beach, wrapped up warmly in sweater and jeans, waterproof jacket and gloves. It rained most mornings—a fine, drizzly affair that the locals lyrically referred to as a ‘soft’ rain—and the truth was Karen didn’t let the weather bother her. It suited her sometimes melancholy frame of mind, and if she waited for the day to be fine she’d never get past the front door.
She’d taken to collecting shells here and there. Her gaze naturally gravitated to the delicate pretty ones, but lately she’d added a couple of bigger specimens to her collection. Taking them back to the cottage, she’d arranged them on the window-sills, and she swore the scent of the sea still clung to each one. But mostly she just walked along the fine white sand until her legs ached, with nothing but the infinitely wise music of the ocean and the gulls screeching above to keep her company.
Often, her thoughts turned to Ryan. Most days she thought sadly how much he would have loved sharing her morning walks. How he would have been keen to share his knowledge of local plants and wildlife with her and fuel her hungry imagination with tales of old Ireland, of kings and storytellers, of myths and magic. She learnt afresh that she’d lost her best friend as well as her husband and manager.
One morning on the beach she discovered she wasn’t alone. Transfixed by the huge paw-prints dug deep into the sand, Karen felt her heart start to gallop. Shielding her eyes with her gloved hand against the diamond-bright glare of the sun, she glanced up ahead. There they were, just on the horizon, the ‘big bad wolf’ and his sidekick, Lurch. Karen grinned. She hadn’t found much to laugh at during the past interminable few months, and it was strangely exhilarating feeling this sudden desire to dissolve into mirth.
Grinning again, she kicked at some seaweed, then strolled slowly across the wide expanse of sand to the edge of the beach. As the foamy sea lapped at her booted toes, she determinedly resisted the urge to glance up ahead again and see if the man and his beast had gone. Instead, she fixed her sights on the horizon, on the pair of little boats that bobbed up and down on the waves—fishermen, most likely. Men who regularly braved the vagaries of the sea to make their living. There was definitely something heroic about them, she decided. After idly watching them for a while, she silently wished them a good day’s catch and turned to go.
She sucked in a surprised breath when she saw Chase pounding across the sand towards her. Behind him strode his master, and even with the distance between them Karen could see he was not best pleased. Tough, she thought, bracing herself for another terse encounter. But she was completely amazed and almost bowled over when Chase came to an abrupt halt just inches away from her. He sat back on his haunches with a look of such expectancy in his great dark eyes that Karen actually found herself smiling at the beast.
‘You silly hound,’ she murmured, reaching out to pat his head. To her relief, he didn’t try and bite her hand off, but instead made a sort of contented gurgling sound in his throat almost like a cat purring. It made her laugh out loud.
‘So … Little Red Riding Hood tames the beast.’ Gray O’Connell stopped about a foot away from them to regard Karen with a half-amused, enigmatic glance.
Immediately wary, she stopped fussing over the huge dog and dug her hands deep into her waterproof. All of a sudden the urge to laugh at anything suddenly deserted her.
‘Which beast are you referring to?’ she asked boldly.
A dark eyebrow lifted mockingly. ‘It would take more than a slip of a girl with pretty blue eyes to tame me, Miss Ford.’
‘You know who I am, then?’ Ignoring what she thought of as a distinctly backhanded compliment, Karen frowned.
‘I should do. You’re staying in my father’s old cottage. I’m your landlord.’
If he’d thought to shock her, Karen had the advantage—thanks to Eileen Kennedy. ‘So I learned the other day, Mr O’Connell. And, by the way, I wish you’d stop referring to me as a girl. I’m twenty-six and very definitely a woman.’
She’d never meant for the latter part of her statement to sound petulant and annoyed, but somehow it did. All that was missing was the stamping of her foot. To her complete and utter embarrassment, Gray O’Connell threw back his dark head and laughed out loud. Whether that laugh had genuine humour in it was another matter. To Karen’s mind, as she studied the handsome, sardonic profile, it sounded mockingly cruel.
‘I’ll take your word about you being a woman and not a girl, Miss Ford. Who can tell what’s underneath that shapeless garment you’re wearing?’
Karen’s cheeks burned with indignation. ‘There’s no need to be so rude. It’s just a waterproof. You’d hardly expect me to walk on the beach in this weather in something wispy and diaphanous, would you?’
The unsettling mercurial grey eyes insolently swept her figure. His jaw rose fractionally with undeniable challenge.
‘It would take more than that to tame the beast in me, Miss Ford—but I feel myself warming to the idea by the second …’
‘You’re completely impossible!’ This time, to her complete dismay, Karen did resort to stamping her foot. As soon as she’d done it she felt immensely foolish, and frustratingly too close to tears to say anything else. In front of her, Chase cocked his head, as if he understood and sympathised. It was funny how she was quickly warming to the dog and not the man.
‘I’m afraid you’re not the first woman to make that accusation,’ Gray muttered darkly, ‘and I’m damn sure you won’t be the last. By the way, it’s rather fortunate that we’ve seen each other today. There’s something I wanted to tell you.’
‘Oh?’ Karen’s brows knit worriedly beneath her honey-blonde fringe. ‘And what would that be, Mr O’Connell?’
‘I’m giving you notice to quit the cottage. Two weeks as of today. It’s no longer available to rent.’
Thunder roared in her ears as she stared at Gray O’Connell’s darkly implacable face in disbelief. He wanted her to leave the cottage? In just two weeks? Her plans had not been carved in stone, but she’d counted on staying where she was for at least another couple of months or so. To uproot now, when she was just starting to feel a part of this place … It was upsetting and unthinkable—and all because her devilish landlord had apparently taken an instant dislike to her!
‘Why?’ When the word came out she sounded winded, as if she’d been running. Disappointment and hurt tugged at the corners of her mouth, pulling it downwards.
Gray O’Connell shrugged one broad shoulder encased in battered black leather. ‘As far as I’m aware I’m not legally bound to explain my reasons.’
‘No, but it’s common courtesy, surely?’
Those strange fey eyes of his glittered with chilling frostiness, openly scorning her indignation. ‘Go back to your nice, safe little world in British suburbia, Miss Ford. Don’t be fooled by the scenery or the supposed peace of this place. There is no peace to be had around here. Only heartache and tragedy and that’s a fact. A place like this—a life like mine—has no time for such petty considerations as common courtesy!’
His words were released with such savagery that for a moment Karen didn’t know what to do. There was one part of her that wanted to run away—to hasten back to the cottage and pack—yet there was also something perverse in her that willed her to stay and face him out, make him see that he wasn’t the only one who was hurting. Not that he’d listen to her, of course. Not when he’d already clearly dismissed her as a silly little girl.
‘Then I feel very sorry for you, Mr O’Connell.’
Her gaze lingered dangerously on the cold, unfeeling glance that was bereft of anything remotely akin to human warmth, then moved curiously down to the strongly patrician nose. It was a work of art, that was for sure. A fraction lower and her glance finally came to rest on the perfectly sculpted brooding mouth, whose upper lip was an uncompromising line of bitterness and hostility. With jolting awareness she saw that in spite of its currently bleak outlook he had a face that could be quite devastating in its beauty.
‘I feel sorry for you … yes, sorry. It seems that you’ve forgotten what it is to be entirely human. My guess is that you’re angry about something … hurt, too. But rage only creates more rage, you know. It hurts you more than it hurts anyone else. I don’t know what’s tormenting you, but I like your father’s cottage. I’d really like to stay there for a little while longer. If it’s more rent you want, then—’
‘Keep your damn money, woman! Do you think I need it?’
He glanced bleakly out to sea for several long seconds, his jaw hard and angled with rage, his eyes glittering—a prisoner in his own morose, walled-off world. A man who had deliberately isolated himself from the rest of humanity and the comfort he might get from it. Karen was chilled right down to the bone. He was like an iceberg—remote, glacial and impervious. If she’d hoped to appeal to his better nature it was becoming glaringly obvious that he didn’t have one.
That established, she started to turn away, surprised when Chase followed her for a few steps, whimpering as if he didn’t want her to go.
‘You’ve put a damn hex on my dog, you little witch.’
Gray’s next words stopped her in her tracks. Karen sucked in an astonished breath.
‘The sooner you go, the better, Miss Ford. Two weeks. then I want you gone!’
He pivoted and strode off up the beach. The long legs that were encased in fitted black denim jeans hinted at the powerful muscle in his thighs, and Chase, after one more sorrowful glance at Karen, turned and raced after him …
CHAPTER TWO
THE day after Karen’s second unfortunate encounter with Gray O’Connell, the cold that had been brewing for days arrived with a vengeance. Having had very little in the way of sleep the night before, she decided to be sensible for once and stay indoors. After a tiring struggle to get the ultimately feeble fire going, she flopped down wearily into the one worn, tapestry-covered armchair with its lacy antimacassar, nursing her mug of hot water and lemon, trying not to succumb to a strong wave of self-pity—a challenge when her eyes were droopy and red from lack of sleep and her nose was stinging and sore from blowing it.
Outside, the rain increased with sudden force, the branches of the trees creaking eerily beneath the weight of it. It was a desolate, lonely sound, but surprisingly it didn’t bother her. Not when she was despondent because of something much more disturbing to her peace of mind. She didn’t relish the thought of leaving this old stone cottage. It was so unfair when Gray O’Connell had only demanded she leave because he’d taken a personal dislike to her. What other reason could there be, when he hadn’t even thought it necessary to explain?
Well, perhaps it would end up being for the best in the long run—his ill-mannered ways certainly didn’t bode well for future encounters if she stayed. Even so, Karen would now have to search for another property to rent in the area. Whatever happened, she wasn’t ready to return home yet. Not when the inevitable questions and perhaps criticisms from family and friends would be waiting for her. She wasn’t nearly ready to explain her feelings or her actions to anyone. The truth was she didn’t know if she’d ever be ready for that. She’d struggled for over a year, pretending she was handling things, and in the end had realised she just had to get away.
Sometimes it had been hard to breathe, staying surrounded by the same old people and the same old scenery. She’d longed to escape.
Putting aside her drink, she sniffed gingerly into her handkerchief, doing her utmost not to irritate her already sore nose. The next instant the sniffing somehow manifested as a muffled sob, and before she knew it her heart was breaking once more. She missed Ryan so much. He’d been her constant companion, her rock. Her heart was submerged in a drowning wave she didn’t have the strength to kick against. He’d been taken from her so suddenly and cruelly that they hadn’t even had the chance to say goodbye. Her mind and body had been incarcerated in ice ever since. No one could comfort her. Not her mother, any of her family, or even well-meaning friends. No one but Ryan.
She held her arms across her middle, as if to comfort herself, but knew it was an ultimately useless exercise. Nothing could heal her heartache. Only the passing of time might blunt the edges of sorrow, and eventually when she was ready, the letting in of people who genuinely cared. The crumpled square of linen in her hands quickly became soggy with more tears.
When the knocker hammered in a staccato echo on the front door she froze in her seat, silently willing whoever it was calling on her in this foul weather to go away. The truth was, the way she was feeling, even stirring out of her seat required a colossal effort she didn’t feel up to making right now.
When she didn’t rise to see who it was the knocker hammered again. The sound cut like a scythe through Karen’s already thumping head, making her wince. Hastily wiping her face with the damp, crumpled handkerchief, knowing miserably that she must look a wreck, she reluctantly roused herself to answer it.
Outside in the rain, droplets of water coursing down his coldly handsome face, his arms folded across his chest, Gray O’Connell leaned impatiently against the doorjamb. As Karen stared up at him in surprise, he straightened and jerked his head. ‘Can I come in?’
Frankly amazed that he hadn’t just barged in anyway, Karen nodded dumbly. Inside, the sitting room’s crackling fire blazed a cosy welcome, despite the definite lack of sociability on the part of the house’s tenant. Resignedly making her way back to the armchair, Karen resumed her seat. If only she wasn’t feeling so pathetic she’d tell him to go away—even if he did own the house. She still had some rights as a tenant. Slowly Gray approached the fire. His jacket dripped onto the stone flagged floor. It was partially covered with a hand-woven rug that must have been beautiful and vibrant once, but was now a dull shadow of its former self.
Reluctantly Karen made herself speak. ‘You’d better take off that jacket. You’re soaked.’ Heaving herself back onto her feet again, she forced herself to wait patiently as he reluctantly took it off. He handed it to her without a word, and she took it and hung it on the peg at the back of the door. It smelled of the wind, the rain and the sea, and for a wildly unsettling moment Karen fancied she could detect the arresting male scent of its owner, too. Surreptitiously she allowed her fingers to linger a little longer than necessary on the soft worn leather.
Turning back into the room, she was immediately struck by the intensely solitary picture that her visitor made. He was holding out his long-fingered hands to the fire and his handsome profile was marred by a look of such unremitting desolation that Karen’s heart turned over in her chest. Why had he come here? she wondered. A feeling of desperation clutched her chest. What did he want from her? He’d already told her that he didn’t want her as a tenant. There was no need to tell her again. She’d received the message loud and clear.
‘I couldn’t paint.’ Turning briefly to regard her, almost instantly he returned his gaze to the fire, as though locked deep inside the prison of his own morose thoughts. ‘Not today. And for once I didn’t want to be alone.’
‘I heard that you were an artist.’
‘And I’m sure that’s not all you heard. Am I right?’ He shook his head disparagingly.
In spite of her innate caution, Karen moved hesitantly towards him, surprise and compassion making her brave. Suddenly the inexplicable need to offer this man comfort overshadowed everything—even her personal feelings of misery and pain.
‘Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘Help what? Free me from this incessant gloom that follows me everywhere? No. There’s nothing you can do to help.’
His voice harsh, Gray pivoted away from the fire and started to pace the room. He was an imposing broad-shouldered man, with hair as black as tar—a dramatic hue that gleamed fiercely as though moonlight was on it—and his very stature made the already small room appear as though it had shrunk. The two of them might have been occupying a dolls’ house.
‘There’s nothing you can do except maybe refrain from asking questions and be silent,’ he uttered less irritably. ‘I appreciate a woman who knows how to be silent.’
Intuitively Karen understood his need for quiet. She’d already registered the turmoil reflected painfully in his eyes and in the grim set of his mouth. This time she wasn’t offended by his sharp words. On soft feet encased only in the thick white socks she wore beneath her jeans, she made her way back to the armchair and sat down. Gathering up the book that earlier on she’d been attempting to lose herself in, she laid it on the coffee table beside the chair and offered him a weak and watery smile.
‘Okay … no questions, and I’ll just sit here quietly.’
She might have meant it when she’d told him, that but it didn’t stop Karen’s mind from teeming with questions and speculations about her taciturn landlord. And heaven knew it was nigh on impossible to concentrate on anything else, with his brooding figure moving restlessly round, up and down in front of her.
‘Why were you crying?’
The question pierced the silence that by mutual agreement had enveloped them. The sound of it reverberated through Karen like the shattering of glass.
‘I wasn’t crying,’ she quickly denied, picking up her book again and staring unseeingly at the cover. ‘I’ve got a cold.’ She sniffed into her handkerchief as if to emphasise the point.
‘You were crying,’ Gray reiterated, his gaze steely. ‘Don’t you think I’m capable of knowing when a woman’s been crying?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know anything about you.’ She blinked sorrowfully down at the pale cold hands that covered the book in her lap and a shudder of distress rippled through her. Why did he have to call on her today of all days? It was said that misery loved company, but if only he would just go and leave her to her own misery in peace.
‘I don’t want you to know me, either.’ He shook his head, as if warding off further unsettling thoughts, then glared at her.
Karen retreated even more inside herself. Wrenching her glance away, she stared back down at her book. She hadn’t a hope in hell of reading any more of it today—at least not while her brooding landlord was taking up space in the house.
Gray exhaled deeply. ‘You’re probably thinking that’s hardly fair, when I’ve invaded your own peace and quiet and you’re clearly upset.’
‘If you need to talk … just to have someone listen without judging or commenting … then I can do that,’ she answered softly, her heart racing a little because she didn’t know how he’d react.
‘All right,’ he said aloud, almost to himself. ‘All right, then. I’ll talk.’ He breathed deeply, gathering his thoughts. ‘My father lived in this house for five years before he died.’ He stopped pacing to address her, his distant storm-tossed gaze restless and preoccupied. ‘He’d never let me put things right. Liked it just as it was, he said … didn’t want my money. He was mad at me because I didn’t stay and work the farm that he used to own—until it got too much for him. The farm that his father and grandfather had owned before him. He didn’t understand that those days were gone. Working the land wasn’t in my blood like it was in his. I had other dreams. Dreams I wanted a chance at. Besides, a man can barely scratch a living out of farming these days—not when the supermarkets can undercut him at every turn and fly in cheap vegetables from Peru rather than buy them from local farms.’
His expression was scornful for a moment, and pressing his fingers hard into his forehead, he twisted his lips angrily. ‘What had my fancy university education and my cleverness done for me? my father asked once. As far as he could see all it had accomplished was to send me away from this place—away from home.’ He paused, as if weighing up the wisdom or indeed lack of it in proceeding with his story. In the end it seemed he’d decided to throw any caution he might be feeling to the wind. ‘He wasn’t interested that I’d made a fortune on the stockmarket. He asked me, “How much money does a man need to live a useful life?” I’ve been pondering that question ever since. I’m not sure how useful it is, but eventually I did find something to do with my life that gave me even more pleasure than making money. I discovered that I loved to paint, and lo and behold it turned out I had some skill at it! My desire to pursue it in the place I grew up finally brought me home, but it was too late for Paddy and me to be reconciled. He was too bitter and too full of regret at what he had lost, and the man was dead from drink three months after I returned. I found him dead down on the beach one morning, a half-bottle of whiskey in his pocket. He’d fallen against a rock and smashed his head.’
A lone tear splashed onto the cover of Karen’s book. Gray’s raw desolation merged with hers, welling up inside her like a dam strained to bursting. Missed opportunities, families torn apart, lost loves—it was all too much to bear.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘There’s no need to be sorry for me. What I did … everything that happened … was down to my own selfish actions. Oh, hell!’ Raking his fingers through the thick black mane that was still sodden from the rain, he shook his head. ‘I don’t know why I’m even telling you all this. I never did believe the adage that confession is good for the soul. Put it down to a momentary descent into madness and despair, if you like.’
‘Sometimes it helps to talk.’
‘Does it? I’m not so sure about that. But I can see how tempting it might be for a man to confide in you. That soft voice and quiet way you seem to possess suggests you might be capable of easing pain … for a while at least. Not that I’m looking for that.’ He regarded her suspiciously for a moment, his voice scathing.
‘Believe me … I’m no expert at healing anybody’s pain, and I wouldn’t pretend that I was.’ Stung, Karen dipped her head.
‘Then we’re even, aren’t we? Because I’m not looking to be healed. So don’t make the mistake of thinking that’s what I came for.’ Throwing her a brief warning glance, Gray O’Connell stalked to the door and grabbed his still wet jacket almost violently off the peg.