Tessa snatched her hand away as if he’d burnt her. Reality with all its glaring, hateful commonsense showed her clearly what she had always known in her heart of hearts. Of course Isaac hadn’t come back for her.
She had heard people throw away clichéd lines about moments of truth, but she had never realised what pain these moments represented.
If Isaac were oh so eager to see her again, he would never have stayed away so long in the first place. The accusations he’d flung at her the day he left were true. He despised her and everything she stood for. The very fact that he could come back now to watch coolly and dispassionately while she bound her heart and body to another man forever until parted by death meant that he felt no emotional ties whatsoever.
She knew it was ridiculous, but even as she stood there, angry at his easy rejection of her and still flushed with shame over her impetuous greeting, she was unable to drag her eyes away. They travelled restlessly, hungrily over his every feature while his gaze remained politely, icily remote.
At closer quarters, she sensed something about Isaac that was both as old and familiar as her memories of him and yet new and strange. It was as if he embodied a living contradiction. His dark, brooding eyes were shadowed by a weary sadness that suggested he’d been weighed down by too many harsh experiences. But beneath the stormy exterior there was something else, something sharp and expectant at his centre, something alert and waiting in his glittering gaze that made her think of the childish excitement of Christmas morning or the very first day of the long summer holidays.
She was startled when her father’s voice broke into her thoughts. ‘Tessa, darling, isn’t this a wonderful surprise?’
She forced her lips to curve into a smile as she acknowledged her father’s presence nearby in a comfortable squatter’s chair. She crossed to him and bent to kiss his cheek. Like her fiancé, Paul Hammond, John Morrow was a kind and gentle man, if a little subservient to his wife. Tessa eyed her father fondly, remembering that it was Paul’s likeness to him that had helped her decide to accept his proposal of marriage. A lifetime with someone like Dad would be very pleasant.
She wanted to concur with her father’s pleasure in Isaac’s return, but the words wouldn’t form. Her mouth opened and then shut again. How could she possibly pretend to be pleased to see Isaac again? The wonderful surprise Dr. Morrow referred to had reverted to nightmare in the blink of a cold, indifferent eye.
But her father didn’t seem to notice her hesitancy. ‘Isaac’s done so well!’ He beamed at her. ‘He’s worked for a degree in mining engineering. He’s slogged away for years out in the Pilbara. And now he manages a huge—’
‘John,’ interrupted Rosalind. ‘Come and I’ll make you a cup of tea. There’s something I need to discuss with you.’
Tessa felt her mother’s eyes linger on her a shade too long. She could imagine the detailed discussion of her dizzy spell. Poor Dad.
But sympathy for her father swiftly evaporated as the Morrows walked into the house, leaving Tessa and Isaac alone on the deck.
CHAPTER TWO
TESSA spun away from Isaac. How on earth could she face him alone? If only she could run after her parents like a frightened child! Her shaking hands gripped the deck’s railing, and she forced her eyes to focus on the vista of rooftops and sea stretching below while she struggled to calm her rising panic. She took deep breaths, trying to think sensibly. Surely she’d faced the worst? Nothing could hurt her more than the monumental indifference of his cold greeting.
She flinched. How could she possibly have been so uncontrolled as to hurl herself at him like some immature groupie at a rock concert? Her ridiculous excitement at seeing Isaac had clearly embarrassed him. Of course he had stopped caring about her years ago.
‘The view is as beautiful as ever.’
His voice brought her swivelling to face him. He was standing some distance away, but to her surprise, his eyes seemed to be exploring every inch of her face, as if they were taking in each fine detail, so that she could have been forgiven for thinking that the view he referred to was of herself. Self-consciously, she brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, and his eyes followed her hand—her left hand with its large emerald. And once more his face grew grim and hard.
A ridiculous urge to slip the ring from her finger seized Tessa, but of course that would be unthinkable for all sorts of reasons. But, with a momentary flash of guilt, she couldn’t resist pushing her hand into the pocket of her slacks, hoping the gesture didn’t look as contrived as it felt.
‘I guess you’ve seen a great many places on your travels since you—you left,’ she offered with a tight smile. ‘How does this view compare with the rest of the world?’
Something resembling a smile flickered briefly at the corners of Isaac’s mouth, revealing a glint of white teeth against his tan. His eyes, smouldering with secret amusement, travelled over her again, very slowly this time, then deliberately held her gaze. ‘Oh, this view most surely holds its own,’ he said softly.
Tessa felt a betraying heat flush her cheeks. Her throat tightened painfully, and goose bumps prickled her arms. Their sudden advent had nothing to do with the brisk sea breeze, which lifted and teased her hair. His gaze unleashed a rush of heady memories. Dangerous memories. This was unbearable! Think of Paul, she urged herself. Focus on the wedding.
‘I—I still haven’t travelled very far,’ she said hoarsely, inching away from him.
Isaac nodded and smiled a little sadly as he looked out to sea. There was another awkward silence, and she wondered desperately what else they could talk about. ‘I guess I should have taken the opportunity to travel widely by now,’ she managed to say at last. ‘Most of my friends have been overseas—to Asia, Europe, the States.’
‘There’s certainly a lot that can be learned from travelling,’ Isaac replied, looking suddenly very serious, ‘but then again, travel isn’t always about distances covered—or sights seen.’ His voice grew unexpectedly husky. He shoved his large hands deep into his trouser pockets and leant against the rail next to her. Tessa’s gasp sounded as frantic as she felt. His voice, when he spoke again, was hardly more than a whisper. ‘The important journeys can be going on inside us even when we appear to be standing still.’
He was looking at her as if his penetrating dark gaze could see right inside her heart. But Tessa knew he would never in a million light-years be able to trace all the miserable emotional journeys she had made in the past nine years—all of them going round and round in circles. Every one of them beginning and ending with her feelings for him.
I would have gone anywhere with you, Isaac, she wanted to cry.
Then, aghast at the insistence of her repeatedly disloyal thoughts, she moved away from the heat of his gaze, her mind boiling. To cover her consternation, she made a desperate stab at flippancy.
‘You’re getting very deep for so early in a conversation. Has your afternoon with Dad left you in a philosophical mood?’
Isaac’s laugh sounded forced.
‘Perhaps.’ He took in a deep breath and stretched. His broad shoulders and chest expanded so that the loose cotton shirt lifted to reveal a tempting glimpse of smooth tanned flesh. Then he released his breath in a slumping sigh, and when Tessa lifted her gaze once more to his face, she wished she hadn’t.
Isaac was looking at her as if she’d fulfilled his worst expectations.
‘Of course,’ he said, his lips twisted in a mirthless smile, ‘I mustn’t forget that when I’m with Queen Tess, deep is dangerous. We must stay comfortably shallow, mustn’t we?’
Dismayed, she watched his face darken and his lips thin with bitterness until he looked as angry with her as he had on that horrible morning when he left. His sudden hostility baffled her now just as much as it had then.
On this very deck on a sultry November morning, over a breakfast neither of them had touched, he’d accused her of being shallow—of having all her middle-class values too firmly in place.
‘Of course you’re too fine a lady for a tramp who’s crawled out of the gutter,’ he’d stormed.
She shuddered as she remembered the accusations he’d hurled at her. In the midst of it all he’d called her a snob, and for the last time he’d labelled her Queen of Castle Hill. But it was the first time he’d made the name sound like an insult instead of a term of endearment.
She closed her eyes to stem the tide of burning tears that threatened. Now was certainly not the time to give in to the indulgence of hurtful indignation. ‘I don’t know about being shallow, but shouldn’t we be aiming for less stress in our lives?’ she asked lightly to cover her discomfort at the memories.
‘Of course.’ His shoulders moved in a scant shrug.
‘You know the way it goes? Don’t worry, be happy.’
‘So you’ve been relaxed and happy?’
‘As if you cared!’ she snapped. ‘You just walked off into the blue without giving me a second thought.’
Isaac’s eyes narrowed. His mouth thinned into another unhappy smile, and he shook his head.
‘You can’t deny it!’ she cried, her eyes bright with anger. Then before her courage drained away, she spoke the question uppermost in her mind. ‘Why have you come back, Isaac?’
But she didn’t get the answer she so desperately needed. The sudden loud, aggressive barking of a dog interrupted them. It was coming from somewhere on the footpath.
‘That sounds like Devil.’ Isaac strode quickly to the far end of the deck and, driven by curiosity, Tessa followed. By leaning over the deck’s railing, they could look down, past the side of the house, to the front footpath.
Isaac’s dog was straining at his leash, snarling and barking madly and trying desperately to leap over the edge of the utility. It seemed he wanted to attack someone on the footpath.
‘Devil, stop that! Down, boy!’ he called.
Devil! What an appropriate name for a hateful man’s dog, Tessa thought. Then she looked more closely at the cowering victim on the footpath.
‘Oh, good heavens. It’s Paul. Your dog’s after my fiancé,’ she cried.
Paul Hammond stood on the footpath, trying manfully to ignore the dog’s fury. At Isaac’s instruction, Devil stopped barking, but he still growled, his lip curled and his teeth bared.
‘Don’t touch Devil, he’s a one man dog,’ barked Isaac in a fierce imitation of the snarling animal.
‘I’ve no intention of touching him,’ Paul called. ‘I simply spoke to him.’
‘He’s trained to be a good watchdog,’ Isaac muttered, glaring at Paul with something close to malice.
Tessa felt compelled to defend her fiancé. ‘Come on up, Paul,’ she said. She turned to Isaac. ‘I hope your dog won’t attack all our visitors. Poor Paul—what an awful introduction for him.’
‘Poor Paul,’ repeated Isaac softly, ‘should know better than to approach strange dogs.’
Paul’s footsteps could be heard at the bottom of the stone steps leading from the side garden onto the deck.
‘I do hope you’ll be civilised and pleasant,’ muttered Tessa swiftly. ‘You remember Paul Hammond, of course. He lives in the split-level house on the corner, and he was a few years ahead of us at school.’
‘Oh, yes. I remember him,’ replied Isaac with a sickly smile. ‘He played the tuba in the school band, didn’t he? Is he still tubby?’
‘No. He certainly is not!’ retorted Tessa as her fiancé, looking only slightly flushed, reached the top of the steps and waved a greeting to them.
‘Darling,’ cried Tessa, running towards him. ‘I’m sorry about the rude reception. Just as well that brute was chained up.’
‘Oh, don’t worry about it.’ Paul smiled bravely before kissing Tessa neatly on the cheek. ‘For some reason the mutt just didn’t fancy me. He started growling when I was still metres away.’
Tessa suppressed any disloyal thoughts about animals and their reputed ability to judge character. ‘He’s obviously very badly trained,’ she retorted, glaring at Isaac and slipping her arm through Paul’s.
Paul looked pleased and patted her hand. ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ he began gallantly, but Tessa hurried on.
‘Let me introduce you to Isaac. You remember my foster brother.’
‘Isaac Masters? Good heavens! Is that who your visitor is? I couldn’t see from the footpath without my glasses.’
‘Been a long time,’ said Isaac, nodding curtly and stretching his hand in greeting.
‘He’s turned up unexpectedly,’ said Tessa, wishing that there were not so many factors she had to ignore all of a sudden. Paul’s hand looked so very pale and slight as Isaac’s tanned fingers grasped it in a strong grip, and his answering smile looked more like a grimace. But what bothered her especially was that Isaac seemed so relaxed and in control, when she felt as if her entire body was being pushed through a paper shredder.
She hated Isaac for looking so cool and unconcerned—for not caring that the girl he once promised to love forever was about to be married to someone else.
‘How are you, Paul?’ Isaac asked politely.
‘Never better, Zac,’ responded Paul rather loudly. He shot an arm around Tessa’s shoulders and drew her to him. ‘And what do you think of our news, Zac? Tessa’s about to make me the luckiest man in North Queensland.’
A small muscle twitched in Isaac’s cheek, and his eyes seemed to be mesmerised by Paul’s thumb as it stroked Tessa’s shoulder.
‘Well, Tub—sorry, Paul—I’d say you could probably stretch that territory at least as far as the whole east coast of Australia. I’ve been congratulating Tessa already and admiring her superb engagement ring. It’s quite a spectacular rock. I wish you both all the very best, and I’m looking forward to being part of the nuptial celebrations.’
‘You’re staying for the wedding?’ The question sprang from Tessa’s lips like the cry of a startled cockatoo.
‘Of course,’ replied Isaac smoothly. ‘I couldn’t miss out on the big day. Hell, Tess, I’m family. You wouldn’t turn me away, would you?’
Of course I would, her mind screamed.
‘Certainly not,’ answered Paul heartily. ‘The more the merrier. Everyone who’s anyone in Townsville will be there. I’m sure Rosalind’s already included you on our guest list.’ He added this as his future mother-in-law stepped onto the deck.
‘Paul, how lovely.’ Rosalind smiled a warm greeting. Her eyes frosted a little as they moved to Isaac. ‘Did I overhear you saying you intend to come to the wedding, Isaac?’
‘Yes,’ Paul cut in eagerly before Isaac could reply. ‘That’ll be fine, won’t it, Ros?’
Out of the corner of her eye, Tessa glimpsed the upward movement of Isaac’s eyebrow. Ros? Zac? She’d never heard Paul shorten either Rosalind’s or Isaac’s names before. No one ever did. She wondered if Paul was dredging up bonhomie to cover a sudden rush of insecurity. But surely he didn’t know anything that could make him feel threatened by Isaac?
‘Isaac must come if he’d like to,’ Rosalind replied carefully.
‘Thank you,’ said Isaac. ‘I would certainly be honoured to attend Townsville’s wedding of the year.’
‘Wedding of the year? Oh, I don’t know about that, but we’re trying hard.’ Rosalind laughed. ‘We just have to keep both Tessa’s feet on the ground for the rest of the week.’
‘Getting light-headed with excitement?’ queried Isaac, eyeing Tessa darkly.
As she met his penetrating glance, Tessa felt her heart jolt so savagely she feared another wave of dizziness.
‘Take good care of our little girl over the next few days, Paul,’ said Rosalind pointedly. ‘She almost fainted this afternoon.’
‘Good heavens!’ Paul squinted at Tessa, examining her closely. ‘Are you feeling better now, dear?’ he asked.
‘I’m perfectly fine,’ Tessa responded quickly. ‘I just got a nasty shock, that’s all. Nothing at all for you to worry about, Paul. Dad’s keeping a close professional eye on me.’
But Isaac was staring at her with a strange expression, and she quickly turned her back on him. Despite the fresh evening air sweeping in from the Coral Sea, she felt dreadfully claustrophobic.
‘Can I help with dinner, Mum?’ she asked. ‘Paul, you’ll eat with us, won’t you?’ Before he could reply, she rushed on. ‘I’ll leave you folk to get reacquainted. You know how to help yourselves to the bar, don’t you? I’m sure Dad will join you in a moment.’
She knew her rapid withdrawal was cowardly, but suddenly there were too many people, too many issues. If she was to avoid making a complete fool of herself, she had to get away.
She stumbled into the kitchen and slumped against a bench. ‘I can’t do this!’ she cried aloud. ‘I’m going to go mad before this week’s out.’ Her fist slammed onto the bench so fiercely it hurt, but she hardly noticed. The rest of her was already hurting, smarting, bruised.
She took a long, deep breath and then another. There was only one way to cope with this dreadful situation, she decided. She had to keep busily focused on little tasks. After all, when she really thought about it, every day was made up of a string of little tasks. It should be straightforward. Her mission was to get through the next four days. If she gave each separate task her devoted attention, she would find herself at the end of the week in no time at all, and this whole ordeal with Isaac would be over.
She’d be married.
Feeling slightly stronger, Tessa set about the first task, preparing the Thai chicken stir fry that she and her mother had planned. She dragged Rosalind’s huge wok out of the cupboard and began to assemble the ingredients. Chicken strips, capsicum, carrots, snow peas. There was a bottle of sweet chilli sauce in the fridge. Excellent. And some fresh coriander…
She flicked the switch on the transistor radio, and the strains of Ella Fitzgerald crooning ‘Summertime’ filled the room. That was better. The lush swell of the music began to calm her. Tessa kicked off her shoes and padded about the kitchen in her bare feet as she found a chopping board and a suitable knife. Then she began to slice the carrots.
‘Need a hand?’
Tessa swung round, and her sudden movement sent a carrot rolling off the bench. Isaac was standing mere inches behind her.
‘Whoa!’ He ducked and neatly caught the vegetable centimetres from the floor.
‘What are you doing here?’ she snapped, her heart wildly thumping again.
‘Rescuing falling carrots.’ He grinned. ‘And clearly not enjoying the warmth of your welcome.’
‘I’m glad you’ve got the message.’
‘That I’m not welcome?’
‘Exactly. I came in here to get some peace.’
‘But this is a big job, Tess.’ Isaac surveyed the assembled collection of vegetables. ‘You’ll be chopping here for ages. You need another pair of hands.’
‘Mum will be in soon.’
‘I don’t think so. She’s on the phone to some relative of Paul’s having an in-depth conversation about seating arrangements at the reception. Things were getting a touch heated.’
Isaac sauntered across the room and picked up another chopping board before selecting a sharp knife.
‘Give me a job, Tessa.’
She glared at him. ‘If you insist, I’ll need some onions sliced. You can do that. You’ll find them in the bottom of the pantry.’ It would serve him right if the onions made his eyes water, she thought triumphantly as she turned once more to her carrots. Why couldn’t Isaac leave her alone? She offered him her back as she chopped slowly and carefully, angling the knife to produce slim oval slices.
‘Summertime’ finished on the radio, and Ella Fitzgerald began another number. The instant Tessa heard the opening bars of ‘I’m In the Mood for Love,’ her hand shot out to snap the radio off. And in the echoing silence, she heard Isaac’s knife drumming rhythmically against the wooden board. She turned. Isaac was slicing onions with the speed and dexterity of a professional chef. ‘Isaac! Where on earth did you learn to chop onions like that?’
He looked up, feigning innocence. ‘Like what?’
Tessa rolled her eyes. ‘I thought it was mining engineering you’ve been studying, not cooking.’
Isaac slid the pile of finely sliced onions into a bowl and picked up a capsicum. He tossed it lightly then held it out as if studying the smooth, bright red skin. ‘I’ve discovered all sorts of hidden talents in the last nine years, Tess.’
Tessa’s eyes closed automatically as a wave of painful jealousy washed over her. Jealousy for all those years in Isaac’s life she hadn’t shared. What had he been doing? And who had shared all these hidden talents?
Why should she care?
‘I dare say you’ve learned a great deal, too,’ he added and shot her a searching glance. Then his face relaxed into a mocking grin as his gaze rested on her small pile of carrots. ‘But perhaps not in the kitchen.’
‘You grub!’ Tessa yelled. ‘You’ve barged in here when you’re not wanted. You’ve taken over the place, and now you’re making snide remarks about my ability in the kitchen! It’s a pity you didn’t learn some modesty along with all your multi-skilling.’
Isaac ducked as Tessa let fly with the last of her carrots just as Rosalind walked into the kitchen.
‘What’s going on in here?’ she demanded.
‘I’m making a nuisance of myself,’ said Isaac with a grin. ‘So I’ll leave you two in peace.’ He retrieved the carrot from its landing place in the sink and placed it carefully on the bench in front of Tessa. Then he winked at her before walking quietly out of the room.
Of course she couldn’t sleep.
All evening endless questions and haunting memories distracted and tormented her, but once she was in bed, alone in her room, they marched through Tessa’s mind with relentless lucidity. What on earth had possessed Isaac to come back now? What was the real reason for his return? Had he heard about the wedding? Surely, as Rosalind had said, it was too much of a coincidence that his business would bring him to Townsville on this particular week.
He was more self-contained, more confident now than he had been when she knew him before. That had probably come with success. Success in business and in love, most likely.
Tessa flopped onto her stomach and tried to blank out the tormenting thoughts. Just breathe deeply and relax, she told herself. She lay in the dark trying hard to empty her mind. But soon the taunting images came rolling back. She thought of Isaac lying down the hall. Was he snoring blissfully, or was he remembering, too? How had he felt today when he drove up to the house?
For seven years it had been his home.
She pictured him sitting in his truck staring at the house for several moments before he began to climb the curve of smooth sandstone steps bordered by drifts of bright bougainvillea. In her mind’s eye she saw his long legs taking the steps two at a time. Did he encounter, as she so often did when she came home, the ghosts of a laughing, golden-haired girl and a tall, dark, brooding boy?
And when he stepped out onto the deck and saw once again the blue sweep of Cleveland Bay and the mass of tall, straight masts, which delineated the marina, did he remember Antares? She felt her cheeks grow hot. What a fiery couple they had been when she was nineteen and he one year older. Alone on the family yacht, they’d seduced each other with all the excitement and passion of intense, young love.
How special that time had been!
She could still remember the delicious smell of Isaac’s sun-warmed skin as she buried her face in his chest, the taste of his lips on hers and the reassurance of his arms holding her tight. And especially she remembered the way he’d looked at her, his dark eyes smouldering with desire, and how her senses exploded with longing.
Paul Hammond’s serious face flashed into Tessa’s mind, and she knew at once that she had to stop thinking about Isaac. Sleep was going to be impossible. She wondered if Rosalind kept any chamomile tea.
Putting her thoughts into action, Tessa padded down the dark, silent hallway to the kitchen. Luckily Rosalind’s big pantry cupboard was fixed with an internal light, so she could find the herbal tea bags without having to illuminate the whole area. She left the pantry door open and used the glow from its light while she found a mug and boiled the kettle.