Secret Passion
Aura didn’t know how her mother would react to the move if they had to make one. She didn’t seem aware of her surroundings most of the time, had made no comment when they moved here two years ago, and yet this flat was part of her mother’s security.
Her mother’s distracted, ‘I could have done it, dear,’ as they sat down to the dinner Aura had prepared, made her smile sadly.
Her mother had never been a forceful person, had always been content to go along with the will of the majority rather than argue her own point of view, but Aura did remember her as a woman whose complete happiness enveloped all around her; the way she was now, neither happiness nor despair touched her. It was heartbreaking for Aura to witness.
The fact that Adrian, when he had called for her here, had been unfailingly kind to her mother had only made her like him more; now she was sure that kindness had just been another part of his plan to persuade her into a deeper relationship with him.
Her sudden loss of appetite was due solely to Adrian Mayhew and what he was trying to do to her, and she refused her mother’s offer of helping her clear away, needing to be alone to try to work out what she would do if James Ballantine refused to reconsider renewing her lease. She would have to look for another property if that happened, and she wearily thought of the time it would take to find somewhere that was suitable. Why didn’t—who was her mother talking to? Oh God, she hadn’t started talking to herself too, had she!
Aura was hastily wiping her hands dry as she rushed into the lounge, entering the room just in time to see her mother inviting James Ballantine into the flat.
He looked over the top of her mother’s head at her flushed and dishevelled appearance, frowning at her suddenly fierce glare. ‘If I’ve called at an inconvenient time …?’
Any time would be inconvenient with him looking like that!
He ought to have a ‘Danger’ warning sewn onto the waistband of the faded denims he wore; the way they clung to his hips and thighs was positively indecent. He had no right to reveal how broad his chest was in the dark green shirt and black leather jacket, and he certainly had no right to have his hair falling rakishly over his forehead like that, ruffled by the gentle breeze outside!
Aura realised she had stopped breathing as soon as she saw him only because her starved lungs suddenly demanded air, her ragged breath audible as her mother moved to turn down the volume on the television set.
‘Not at all—Mr Ballantine, wasn’t it?’ Her mother gave him one of her vague smiles. ‘Aura has just finished clearing away. And I——’
‘Mummy,’ she warned as her mother picked up a book that lay open on the sofa.
‘—was just off to my room,’ she finished serenely as if Aura hadn’t spoken, dazzling James Balantine with another of her beautiful smiles before going up the stairs.
James Ballantine watched her go with vaguely disturbed eyes. ‘She’s very lovely,’ he said suddenly.
‘Yes,’ Aura snapped, suddenly in control again. OK, so out of the dark suit he had worn earlier today and wearing casual denims and a leather jacket instead, he looked devastating; that was no reason to forget that this man had to be here for a purpose, and she had to know what that purpose was. ‘Have you come to tell me——’
‘She seems a little—not quite of this world.’ He still gazed after her mother.
‘Yes,’ she bit out tautly. ‘Now would you——’
‘But so very beautiful,’ he said again dazedly, as if completely mesmerised.
‘Mr Ballantine——’
‘James,’ he corrected gruffly, crossing the room to her side in two strides. ‘Don’t expect me to be coherent when I’ve just seen what you’re going to look like in twenty years’ time,’ he murmured softly. ‘Aura …!’
She didn’t have time to prevent the contact as his head bent to hers and the mouth that she had classed as sensual on sight took possession of her. That was the only way to describe what happened to her, James not just claiming her mouth but branding the whole of her body with his touch.
One hand curved about her nape while the other one held her tightly about the hips, making her aware of the difference in their heights as the hardness of his thighs was crushed against her stomach, stirring a strange emotion there while the hand at her nape offered her mouth up to his like a sacrifice. Like a starving man he took and took, and still he hadn’t taken his fill. Not that Aura didn’t take too, standing on bare tip-toes to entangle her hands in the thickness of his hair as she matched the hunger.
She looked up at him with dazed eyes as he slowly put her back down on the carpeted floor, wondering how she had ever thought him unapproachable, his emotions held firmly in check; there was no mistaking the hunger displayed in his eyes—and it was all directed towards her!
She stepped back, swallowing hard. ‘You shouldn’t have done that.’ She should have sounded firmer and not quite so breathless! He shouldn’t have done that, had left her weak and dazed.
‘I’m going to do it again in a moment,’ he promised throatily. ‘But before I do we had better get business out of the way; I don’t think either of us will be capable of discussing it later on!’ he added ruefully.
She held up protesting hands. ‘What happened between us——’
‘Happens every time I look at you,’ he admitted softly, dark green eyes devouring her parted lips as his gaze rested upon them. ‘I want you.’
Aura was speechless. Men just didn’t say things like that, so bluntly it made her blush. They flattered, and cajoled, and coerced, they didn’t tempt. And that last description fitted exactly what James was doing to her, only having to look at him to feel a leap of her senses. But the first three exactly described what Adrian had tried to do to her.
Her mouth tightened at the thought of the other man. ‘You said you came here to discuss business,’ she prompted abruptly.
‘To start with,’ he drawled, reaching into the inside breast pocket of his jacket to hand her the envelope he had removed. ‘Your lease,’ he explained at her questioning look. ‘All it needs is your signature, duly witnessed, of course.’
Aura gaped at him, sure she couldn’t have heard him correctly, quickly opening the envelope to stare at the legal document. It was the lease to her shop, for the length of five years. It was more than she had hoped for. More …?
Her smile faded as she looked up at James warily. ‘What’s the price?’ she snapped.
He frowned. ‘The terms are in the agreement——’
‘I meant your price.’ She looked at him challengingly.
He became suddenly still, and if she had thought him unapproachable this morning she now knew what unapproachable was! His eyes were glacial, his mouth a thin angry line, those ominous slashes grooved into his cheeks. And Aura knew with certainty that she had completely misunderstood this man’s motives in helping her.
‘I’m sorry,’ she rushed into breathless speech. ‘I just—why did you—and your partner, change your minds?’ she frowned.
‘We didn’t,’ he rasped. ‘I had never refused to renew your lease, and Adrian obviously only made the mistake in his haste to be off on his holiday. I’m sorry you’ve had to be upset in this way, but that’s the only explanation I can give you for the mistake.’
She had really insulted him, and he wasn’t going to forgive her easily. But she had been so used to dealing with men like Adrian! ‘I really am sorry I thought— that, about you, James. I——’
He visibly relaxed. ‘I’ll forgive you—because you called me James for the first time.’
He had far from forgiven the slight, she could see that, but he was willing to forget it, for the moment. ‘I—if your partner is away, and unable to sign this document,’ she began slowly, chewing on her inner lip, ‘is it still legal? And binding?’
James smiled at her suspicion this time. ‘Completely,’ he drawled.
‘But——’
“‘Oh ye of little faith”,’ James mocked. ‘One of these days you’ll have to tell me why you’re so distrusting. But not now,’ he accepted ruefully at her silence. ‘OK,’ he sighed. ‘Well, whenever either my partner or I are away the other has complete power. My God, if I had to wait for Adrian’s approval to anything every time he took his wife on holiday I’d never get anything done!’ he scorned.
Aura felt herself pale. Wife? Adrian was married? Oh God, not again, she couldn’t go through that again!
CHAPTER TWO
‘HE,’ James continued gratingly, unaware of Aura’s distress, ‘takes Selina away with sickening regularity.’
She swallowed hard. Married. Why hadn’t she realised that? ‘Sickening?’ she echoed dully, lost in the misery of what could have happened if she had been attracted to Adrian enough to accept the intimate relationship he had wanted.
‘Mm,’ James sighed his impatience. ‘You would have to know Adrian well to realise why. My business partner isn’t—well, he isn’t as faithful as he could be. Damn it, he isn’t faithful at all,’ he rasped disgustedly. ‘As soon as his latest affair ends he whisks his wife away on an expensive holiday. I think his guilty conscience catches up with him,’ he added grimly.
Latest affair? Oh God, was that her? Well, unless Adrian had met someone in the last week it had to be! She felt ill. ‘Doesn’t his wife realise what’s going on?’
James turned away. ‘I’ve never spoken to her about it,’ he bit out.
A wife could usually tell if it went on long enough, and if Adrian made a habit of this …! ‘Perhaps she doesn’t mind,’ Aura suggested lightly. ‘Some women don’t, you know.’
He shrugged. ‘I really wouldn’t know, Selina doesn’t discuss her marriage with me. But after ten years of it——’
‘He’s been unfaithful to her all that time?’ Aura gasped.
His mouth twisted. ‘I would say that even Adrian was faithful to begin with. Besides, there was Robert to consider.’
Aura blinked, almost afraid to ask the question, but knowing she had to. ‘Robert?’
‘Their son,’ James confirmed her worst dread. ‘He’s nine now, and away at boarding school most of the time, but I’m sure my partner would have been a little more discreet in his actions when the boy was still at home.’
A child was involved too. It was like a sickening rerun of a nightmare. Adrian had acted nothing like a man with a wife and child to go home to, hadn’t seemed to care what time of night he left her, or how often he came to see her and took her out. Surely his wife had to realise there was something strange about his constant absences? Maybe she considered the holidays ample recompense. She knew of other women like that.
But what she had learnt about Adrian today made Aura want to run away and hide so that no one need ever know that she had been out with him. My God, when she considered the times she had been out with him; anyone could have seen them together. She wouldn’t be able to survive another scandal like that.
She looked at James Ballantine with wary eyes. ‘I shouldn’t keep you any longer. Thank you for bringing round the lease, and——’
‘Aura,’ he cut in gently, ‘when I told you earlier today I don’t have a mistress, a girlfriend, or a casual date, I should also have included a wife to that list.’ He put his arms about her. ‘I’m not a married man.’
She was relieved to learn that, but she still couldn’t have anything to do with this man. If he should ever realise that she had been his partner’s ‘latest affair’ … Well, not quite, but who would believe a denial of that coming from her? And she was sure that when this man looked at a person with disgust they would feel as if they had been burnt.
She tried to pull out of his arms. ‘I think you should go——’
‘I’d rather not,’ he groaned into her hair.
She stod completely still. ‘I’m asking you to go,’ she said shakily.
He drew back slightly to look down at her. ‘Aura, I realise we don’t know each other very well——’
‘We don’t know each other at all,’ she corrected— and as far as she was concerned it was going to remain that way!
James smiled at her stubborn expression. ‘That can easily be remedied——’
‘I don’t want to know about you,’ she told him vehemently.
‘—I’m thirty-four,’ he continued as if she hadn’t interrupted. ‘The only son of deceased parents. I like children, and animals—especially cats,’ he added as the sleek ginger tomcat entered the room. ‘Hello, boy,’ he greeted, going down on his haunches to tickle the ecstatic animal behind the ears.
‘Marmaduke,’ Aura supplied abruptly. ‘He belongs to my mother.’
‘He’s a beauty.’ Piercing green eyes suddenly looked up at her. ‘Couldn’t we have dinner together one evening?’
She drew in a sharp breath at the abrupt change of subject, sure he had deliberately tried to catch her off guard. ‘No,’ she answered firmly.
He straightened, ignoring the ginger cat as it twined in and out of his legs at the sudden, deprivation of his caressing fingers. ‘You have— someone, in your life?’ His eyes were narrowed.
If she said yes, would he go away and leave her alone? The determined set of his mouth said no, that he would merely set about eliminating the competition. ‘Is it unusual for a woman to say no to you, Mr Ballantine?’ She was deliberately scoffing.
‘One that kisses me the way you do, yes,’ he nodded slowly.
A flush burnt her cheeks, and she knew this man wasn’t flirting with her, that he didn’t know the meaning of the word; he seduced with candour and the certainty of his own feelings. ‘Mr Ballantine, I have no wish to have dinner with you,’ she told him abruptly. ‘I have a business to run, my mother to take care of——’
‘That can’t take up all your time,’ he chided.
‘It does!’
‘What do you do for relaxation?’
She sighed. ‘I read, occasionally go for long walks, play tennis——’
‘I’ll pick you up Sunday afternoon and we’ll hire a court for a game——’
‘—badly,’ she finished ruefully. ‘Martina Navratilova has nothing to fear from me.’
‘Sunday,’ he said again firmly. ‘Two o’clock. I’ll give you a coaching lesson; John McEnroe taught me everything I know about tennis.’
Her eyes widened. ‘You know——? But——’
‘I’ll see you Sunday afternoon, Aura.’ He gave her a quick kiss on her parted lips before leaving.
For seconds after he had gone Aura was unable to move, unable to believe she actually had a date with James Ballantine despite all her objections. He was attractive and sensitive, but he was also one of the most forceful men she had ever met!
She moved to the curtained window, drawing one of them back just in time to see the sweeping U-turn of a sleek grey Jaguar as James accelerated the car away.
She had a feeling that when James wanted something badly enough, as he had seemed to want her company on Sunday, he just refused to accept the word no. As Adrian had? No, she was sure that James would always deal fairly for what he wanted, that he always attained it without hurting anyone to do it. Hadn’t he just done so? She wasn’t hurt; she was bewildered and slightly off-balance, but she wasn’t hurt.
‘Has Mr Ballantine gone, dear?’ Her mother sounded disappointed as she entered the room from the stairway.
‘Yes.’ Aura was still a little dazed.
‘Such a nice young man,’ her mother smiled warmly, having an ageless quality about her that refused to recognise she was only a few years James Ballantine’s senior. ‘Will we be seeing him again, do you think?’ she asked innocently.
‘No. Yes. No! I don’t think so,’ Aura said with determination.
‘What a pity.’ Her mother sighed. ‘He had such kind eyes.’
Aura looked indulgently at her mother, a woman who saw no evil in anyone or anything. Although she had, Aura recalled with a frown, remarked upon the fact that Marmaduke didn’t seem to like Adrian, and that ‘animals knew, didn’t they?’ At that time she hadn’t paid too much attention to the vaguely made comment, but now she looked at her mother with sharp query.
‘You deliberately made sure I couldn’t talk to you until today, didn’t you?’ Aura glared accusingly at James as he drove the Jaguar with relaxed control.
It was Sunday, and promptly at two o’clock, as she had known he would, James had arrived at her home. He had then proceeded to charm her mother with gentle teasing, and enlist her help in persuading Aura to take a break when she had already told him she didn’t have the time to play tennis—no matter who his personal coach had been! He had even asked her mother if she would like to join them, genuinely disappointed when she had politely refused.
He glanced at Aura now with innocently wide eyes. ‘I don’t——’
‘And don’t deny it,’ she warned. ‘I’ve been calling your office for the last two days, and each time your secretary told me you were “unavailable”,’ she said with disgust.
‘And you don’t believe I was?’ he mused softly.
‘I’m sure you weren’t,’ she snapped impatiently.
‘I’m a very busy man, Aura,’ he mocked.
‘Not that busy!’ she glared.
He sighed. ‘You’re right. I told Moira not to put any of your calls through to me so that you couldn’t cancel our date for today.’
‘It was your date, I don’t remember at any time agreeing to it. And you might at least have lied about your duplicity,’ she added disgustedly.
He looked at her intensely. ‘I’ll never lie to you about anything, Aura.’ His hand covered hers as it rested against her thigh, the brief white shorts she wore leaving most of her long legs bare. ‘I want you to always remember that.’
The cool touch of his fingers against her skin, the knuckles brushing her thigh as he briefly clasped her hand, had completely disarmed her.
She had no idea what she was doing here with him, had intended sending him away as soon as he arrived today, and instead, at his and her mother’s insistence, she had meekly found herself changing into the shorts and a brief white sun-top.
Maybe it had been the way that he looked in his own white shorts and T-shirt that had thrown her; she had taken one look at him as he stood on the doorstep, his legs tanned and muscled, his arms and torso rippling with power, and she hadn’t been able to say no to joining him for a game of tennis. What could possibly be wrong with a harmless game of tennis? she had told herself as she changed. Looking at him now she knew exactly what was wrong with it; she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything but the complete masculinity of this man. She had a handicap before they even started the match, and there was no such thing as a handicap in tennis!
‘You could always have asked Moira to pass on a message,’ James said softly at her silence.
Aura looked at him, and then quickly looked away again. She could have asked his secretary to give him a message. Why hadn’t she? She couldn’t actually have wanted to spend the afternoon with him; it would be pure madness to allow herself to be attracted to him. She was already attracted to him; the madness would be to do anything about it!
‘I didn’t think of it,’ she told him abruptly.
He looked disappointed that she wasn’t about to give him the same honesty he had promised her. ‘Did you know that when you lie the freckles stand out on your nose?’ he confided softly.
Her hand automatically moved up to cover her nose and those tell-tale freckles. ‘James——’
‘I wish your mother had agreed to come with us,’ he remarked thoughtfully, cutting off her protest. ‘She’s very pale, I think the fresh air might have done her some good.’
Aura turned away, her hand dropping back to her thigh. ‘She doesn’t go out much.’
‘What happened?’ he frowned.
‘Trauma,’ she supplied abruptly. ‘My father’s death,’ she added at his expectant silence.
‘I’m sorry,’ he told her gently. ‘It must have been awful for both of you.’
‘Yes,’ she acknowledged abruptly. ‘She likes you,’ she heard herself add, and then wondered why she had done it; the last thing this man needed was another dose of self-confidence, he was already arrogant enough for two men, had completely taken her over since they had first met. She had gone to the offices of Ballantine and Mayhew to do battle, and instead ended up with this forceful man in her life. ‘I’m not altogether sure she’s a good judge of character,’ she told him caustically.
He smiled. ‘Of course she is.’ He sobered. ‘Can anything be done to help her?’
‘Not unless you can bring my father back.’ She couldn’t keep the edge out of her voice. ‘Unless you can do that I don’t think she wants to be helped.’ She turned her attention to their surroundings as she sensed his sharp gaze on her. ‘Are we almost there?’
‘Almost,’ he confirmed distractedly. ‘Aura——’
‘Do you really know John McEnroe?’ she asked sceptically.
He looked as if her disbelief had deeply offended him. ‘Of course I know him.’
Five minutes into their game of tennis Aura knew that whatever his coach had tried to teach James about the game, very little of it had actually been absorbed or utilised.
She eyed him mockingly after winning the first set six love. ‘OK,’ she sighed. ‘So who was he?’
‘Who was who?’ James was busy wiping the perspiration from his brow, having been running all over the court chasing the ball.
Aura felt a little sticky, but she hadn’t even worked up a sweat, sitting beside him on the wooden seat at the side of the court. ‘The John McEnroe you know,’ she said drily, sure it hadn’t been the John McEnroe.
‘He was my sportsmaster at school,’ James revealed unabashedly, his hair damp across his forehead. ‘I believe his opinion of my game was that I “showed absolutely no aptitude” for it.’
Her mouth twisted. ‘I can believe that. I’ve never won a set from anyone before, let alone whitewashed them!’
His eyes were warm as he gazed up at her, his arms resting along the length of his thighs as he sat forward. ‘My talents obviously lie in other directions,’ he told her softly.
Aura readjusted the colourful band about her forehead. ‘How did you and your partner ever go into business together when you seem to have so little in common?’ She deliberately opted for an innocent channel for his ‘talents’ to be directed in.
He shrugged broad shoulders, the T-shirt clinging damply to his back. ‘His father was initially my partner, and when he died I inherited Adrian,’ he added drily. ‘It has, to say the least, been a rocky partnership.’
She wished now that she hadn’t introduced the subject of Adrian into the conversation; just talking about him made her remember what a fool she had been about him. ‘Do you want to play another set or would you like to go and get an ice-cream? My treat,’ she offered.
‘The ice-cream can wait.’ He stood up fluidly. ‘I have to try and leave this game with a little of my dignity left intact.’
He was definitely an athletic man, obviously kept himself fit, and yet when it came to tennis he just didn’t have the co-ordination. It was nice to know there was something he didn’t do well!
She took pity on him in the second set and let him win one game, although she still won the match six-love, six-one.
‘I think I’ve suffered enough humiliation for one day,’ he said with a grimace, putting away their rackets. ‘A work-out in the gym and jogging are my usual forms of exercise.’
She had guessed he hadn’t attained that physique just sitting behind a desk all day, had found it hard not to let her attention sway to the masculine power of his body as he moved around the court rather than concentrating on the game. And she had no intention of falling a victim to that power again.
‘Come on,’ she teased. ‘I know a place where they serve ice-cream that’s home-made and hasn’t been crammed with a load of additives.’
The shop was run by a friend of hers, and the two of them strolled into the park opposite as they ate them.