Separate Bedrooms...?

Cara had helped her grandmother get dressed earlier. She’d combed Sophia’s fine silver hair, dusted face power and a touch of blush on her dear old wrinkled, gaunt cheeks, and fastened her antique garnet earrings in her ears. While she’d chattered on about various subjects, Cara kept remembering the conversation she’d overheard yesterday morning when her grandmother had described her wonderful dream about attending Cara’s wedding. Cara had imagined Sophia’s thrilled reaction if her youngest—and favorite—granddaughter confided, “Nonna, guess what? The man I’m dating, Roy Xavier? He proposed, and I’ve decided to say yes!”

Cara had almost decided. She’d gone over and over the pros and cons of marrying Roy and come up with all pros except for one single con—she wasn’t crazy in love with him. But maybe she never would fall crazily in love. A year or two from now, Cara might look back and regret turning Roy down.

The only thing holding Cara back at this point was Neil’s opposition. She’d always valued his advice and sought his approval.

Neil was the only person in her circle of important people Cara could trust to be discreet. That was why she hadn’t confided in any of her three sisters or her mother or Sophia. Rose would tell Sophia, swearing her to secrecy, and vice versa. They would tell Natalie, Cara’s oldest sister, once again admonishing her not to tell a soul. Natalie would pass along the news to Angie in strictest confidence. Angie would tell Mia. Inevitably the three sisters’ husbands would be made privy to the secret and they’d tell Cara’s brothers, who would tell their wives. It would be just a matter of time before Cara’s personal business would become the hot topic of family discussion. Everybody would have an opinion and state it— To one another and to Cara, who had learned the hard way not to be a blabber-mouth about her private life.

“We love all our presents!” sang out Lea and Lauren once all the packages had been opened, responding prettily to coaching from their mother.

“Now can we play Pin the Tail on the Donkey?” asked one of the twins’ cousins, setting off a litany of childish requests to play the traditional LaCroix birthday party game.

Eighteen-year-old Mark, the oldest LaCroix grandchild, good-naturedly carried out his assignment for the afternoon, herding the crowd of children over to an outside wall of the garage. A large poster of a donkey, much repaired with transparent tape had already been thumbtacked to the white-painted boards.

“There’s more cake and ice cream for seconds,” Rose informed the adults over the din of laughter and a dozen different conversations.

Cara was just now taking her turn at holding six-month-old Stevie. “Aren’t you precious?” she cooed to her little nephew as he gurgled and smiled at her.

“Hey, could Carmen and I have everybody’s attention? We have some big news to share.” The request came from Cara’s youngest brother Frankie, who at thirty was only a year and some months older than her. Heads turned in his direction. Frankie hugged his wife close to his side, and the two of them grinned at each other, like co-conspirators. “Looks like Stevie’s gonna have a little cousin playmate in less than nine months. Carmen’s expecting again.”

Cara added her sincere congratulations to the cacophony and tried not to look wistful. She and Carmen had been classmates in school, and now the other woman was pregnant for the third time and obviously blissfully happy about her condition.

For a few seconds Cara fantasized, visualizing Roy and herself here in the midst of the LaCroix family, making a similar announcement. Roy would look every bit as proud as Frankie did. Cara could feel his arm around her, strong and supportive.

The fantasy could easily come true. All Cara had to do was tell Roy she’d made up her mind and wanted to marry him. Immediately she could set a date for just a few months from now and start making whirlwind wedding plans to insure that Sophia was well enough to attend. How Cara wanted her grandmother to be there when she walked down the aisle, finally a bride instead of a bridesmaid.

It would make Sophia so happy. It would make the whole family happy and would mark the end to Cara’s being the lone unmarried sibling.

Stevie had begun to fret. His mother, Barb, appeared and reached for him, saying, “I’ll bet my little guy is hungry.” Feeding Stevie was strictly his mom’s job, since Barb was breast-feeding. Cara handed the infant over reluctantly. Her arms felt empty. She felt absurdly alone, an oddity, in the midst of her large, affectionate family.

I want to be half of a married couple, she thought. I want to get pregnant and have a baby. I want to be a wife, a mommy, a married daughter and granddaughter and sister.

She could have what she so badly wanted.

I’ll do it, Cara promised herself silently. She sucked in a breath of deep relief as the vapor of indecision evaporated. In its place grew an urgency to talk to Roy as soon as possible. She would tell him right away, before she even said hello. Yes, yes, yes, I will marry you.

Cara didn’t want to waste a minute getting things in motion now that her mind was made up.

“That’s really eye-catching,” Cara said. She’d walked up behind Neil. He was near the front of the store setting up a display of car waxes and polishes. “Is that a new product? The bright blue can?”

“Yes, it’s supposed to be the hottest new car wax on the market.”

“Really. I’ll have to tell Roy. He keeps that car of his so shiny you can see your reflection in it.”

“Yes, he does keep it waxed to a high shine. But then cars are his business.” Neil managed to keep his voice even, not an easy feat when he was talking about Cara’s husband-to-be. The more he was around Roy Xavier, the more Neil disliked the man.

And since Cara had gotten engaged to Xavier two weeks ago, the car salesman had taken to dropping by the store often. Neil’s gut instinct told him that, despite a phony show of friendliness, Xavier didn’t like him, either.

“Roy is coming by to pick me up. We’re meeting with Father Kerby at the church.” Cara had tipped her head back and hunched up her shoulders.

“What’s wrong? Tense muscles?” Neil asked.

“Planning this wedding is killing me,” she declared, rolling her head in a circle. “I try not to get uptight, but there’s so much to be done in such a short time.”

“You’re pushing yourself too hard. Here. Let me work out some of the knots for you.” Neil turned her so that she faced away from him. Then he began to massage her neck and shoulders.

“That feels so good,” she said. “I need you to do this before I go to bed at night. Then maybe I could fall asleep right away.”

Roy Xavier spoke from behind Neil. “Hey, I object. The only man who’s giving my woman a massage at bedtime from now on is me.”

“Oh, hi, Roy,” Cara said, her voice lazy with relaxation. “Just give me another minute or two of this heaven.”

“We’re kind of short on time, baby,” he replied.

“Are we? Too bad. Thanks, Neil.” With a sigh, she pulled away reluctantly, and Neil dropped his hands just as reluctantly.

“How are things going, Roy?” he asked, striving to sound genial. Hearing Xavier address Cara as baby in a tone of ownership had grated on Neil’s nerves.

“Couldn’t be better,” the other man replied. His clipped tone jarred with his usual smooth salesman’s manner.

Cara didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. “I’ll be about thirty minutes late tomorrow morning, Neil. I have to run by the printer’s on my way to work and look at some sample wedding invitations.”

“Take your time,” he said. “You need to slow down a little. You’re running yourself ragged getting your wedding organized.”

“Ready, baby?” Xavier drew Cara close and kissed her on the mouth. He would have turned it into a lingering kiss if Cara had cooperated, but she didn’t, Neil noticed, his fists clenching with repugnance.

“I just need to get my handbag. Bye, Neil.”

“See you tomorrow.” Neil averted his head, fixing his gaze on the display instead of watching them leave together, Xavier’s arm around Cara’s waist, staking possession.

The guy wasn’t nearly good enough for Cara. Why couldn’t she see what a mistake she was making? She was just settling for Roy Xavier because she was ready to marry somebody, but mainly because she so badly wanted to make her grandmother happy. Neil was convinced that the business about Sophia’s dream had tipped the scales for Cara.

He didn’t know how he was going to force himself to attend the wedding. Just the thought of watching the ceremony made Neil want to do something to intercede.

Cara was making a mistake. She wasn’t going to be happy as Roy Xavier’s wife. No way.

“Roy, it’s fine to give me a peck on the lips to say hello in front of Neil, but I wish you wouldn’t kiss me as though we had privacy,” Cara said after she and Roy had left the store. “It embarrasses me and makes Neil uncomfortable.” Her cheeks still felt flushed with her annoyance.

“He looked way too comfortable putting his hands all over you,” Roy replied, his voice angry.

“Don’t be ridiculous! He didn’t have his ‘hands all over me’! He was massaging my neck and shoulders. Neil has never touched me in any sexual way.”

“Every time I come into the store, he’s hugging you or patting you. I don’t like it one bit.”

“That’s an exaggeration. Even if it were true, Neil and I are like brother and sister.”

Roy grunted skeptically.

They got into his car. Cara wanted to say more, but she decided to let the subject drop for now. Before she could start up a friendlier exchange, Roy spoke in a more conciliatory tone.

“Let’s don’t fight, baby. But try to see things from my point of point. How would you like walking into the dealership and seeing me being familiar with one of the secretaries?”

“I wouldn’t like it. But you haven’t had a lifelong friendship with one of them, have you?”

Roy held up his hand, and Cara interpreted the gesture as signaling the end of the discussion. She stayed silent while he pulled out onto the street, deciding to let him start up a different conversation.

“Griffin was right about one thing.” Roy took his right hand off the wheel and rested it on her thigh. “You are running yourself ragged organizing our wedding and working a full-time job. I say go ahead and quit the job now. Give him two weeks’ notice, of course.”

“Quit my job?” Cara was staring at him in utter surprise.

“We both want to start a family right away, right? Didn’t we agree on that?” He rubbed her thigh suggestively. “At the risk of bragging, I expect to make you pregnant during our honeymoon.”

“I never said anything about quitting my job when I got pregnant. I’m sure Neil will give me maternity leave the last month or two, if I need to take leave.”

“You’ll have plenty to do to keep you busy without working. Things like decorating a nursery for the baby. Plus keeping house and cooking meals. Remember, I warned you I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy who likes the idea of being the breadwinner.”

“You warned me you like being the main bread-winnner, which is okay with me. But I don’t think I would like being totally dependent. You have to realize I’ve worked and earned my own spending money since I was fifteen.”

“Then get another job. Dammit, I don’t want you working for Griffin.” He took his hand away from Cara’s thigh, just moments before she shoved it away.

“I can’t believe you’re jealous of Neil! That’s so ridiculous!”

“The guy’s against you marrying me, Cara. I can tell.”

Cara opened her mouth to object and then pressed her lips closed when she realized she couldn’t honestly speak a denial. Roy looked over at her knowingly. “I’ll bet he tried to talk you out of accepting my marriage proposal, didn’t he?”

“Whatever kind of advice Neil gave me prior to our becoming engaged, his only concern was my happiness. Ever since I told him I was going to marry you, he hasn’t said the first negative word. And he would never do or say anything to undermine our marriage once we’re husband and wife. Neil’s too honorable a person.”

“He’s got you convinced he’s some kind of saint. That’s for certain,” Roy muttered.

“Darn it, I wanted the two of you to be good friends.”

“Fat chance.”

Cara sighed, her anger ebbing and leaving her deflated. “This puts a damper on everything, Roy. My job is a big part of my identity, just like your job is a big part of who you are.”

“But you’re going to change your identity and become my wife, Cara. You’re going to become the mother of our kids.”

“And you’re going to become my husband and the father of our kids.”

He sucked in a breath and expelled it noisily. “Cara, you’re not telling me you’d back out of marrying me before you’d quit working for Griffin?”

“I’m saying it’s unreasonable for you to expect me to quit a job I love.”

The quarrel continued until they arrived at the church. Cara was so upset that she could barely concentrate on anything Father Kerby said during the pre-marital counseling session.

Afterwards Roy made a stiff offer to take her out to supper, and Cara refused, asking him to drive her back to the store where she’d left her car. He complied, obviously still furious at her.

Neil’s garage doors were raised. Cara glimpsed him bent over beneath the raised hood of the old car he was restoring, a 1954 Corvette. Following the same instinct that had led her to his house, she pulled into the driveway and got out.

He straightened up, wiping his hands on a rag as she approached. Country and western music played on a portable boom box sitting on a shelf. Cara was reminded of the many times she’d gone looking for him at different stages in her life, when she was down in the dumps about something and needed to talk. Often she’d found him tinkering with his car in his parents’ garage.

“Hi, there,” Neil greeted her now. His tone was gentle and his gaze perceptive. It wasn’t necessary to tell him she felt lousy. He was reading that message in her face and body language, she knew.

“Hi. Just like the old days, huh? Except your taste in music has changed. You used to listen to rock and roll.”

He shrugged. “Occasionally I tune in a classic rock station.”

“Too many painful memories?” Cara’s voice was soft with sympathy as she filled in the gaps of what he hadn’t needed to explain. Some of those hit songs on classic rock stations would take him back to the era when he’d dated Lisa, back to their married years.

“Yes. You and Roy had a spat?” he asked. As always, he seemed more interested in her than himself.

“It was more than a spat. Neil, he insists I quit my job!” she burst out.

“I was afraid of that.”

“He’s actually jealous of you! I tried to tell him that you’re like a brother to me, but I couldn’t seem to get it through that thick skull of his that my relationship with you poses no threat to him.”

Neil crossed his arms and leaned against the car. The slump of his shoulders spelled out resignation. “It won’t be easy to replace you, but I certainly understand your position.”

“My position is that I’m not quitting.”

He sighed, rubbing a hand down the back of his head and neck. “Cara, there’s a lot of give and take in a marriage.”

“Roy’s being unreasonable. He’s not considering my feelings. I love my job. When I said yes to him, it was with the full intention of continuing working. For years and years.”

“You plan to have a family, don’t you?”

Cara bobbed her head in the affirmative. “Yes, but so what? I figured you wouldn’t mind if I set up a playpen at the store like Allison did when she had Jessica.” Allison was one of the two other women employees who worked in the office under Cara’s supervision. “Remember how we all pitched in and helped take care of Jessica? Even Jimmy and Peewee?”

“Maybe Roy will come around.”

“He’d better.” Cara stood on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, letting her actions thank him for listening and being there for her, centering her world. He responded in kind, silently saying You’re welcome with a brief, warm hug. “See you tomorrow,” she called over her shoulder as she walked to her car.

“Drive carefully,” he called back, his tone sober and concerned.

On the way to her apartment, Cara remembered the question Roy had asked her this afternoon during their heated argument: You’re not telling me you’d back out of marrying me before you’d quit working for Griffin?

Yes, Roy, that’s what I’m telling you, she thought now. She simply couldn’t marry anyone who expected her to cut Neil out of her life. For that was what Roy actually demanded.

Even though Neil had never said as much, Cara knew intuitively that he needed her to be there for him, too. She brightened up his day-to-day existence. Under no circumstances was she going to abandon him.

If Roy couldn’t understand, then he definitely wasn’t the right husband for Cara. She needed to call a halt to the wedding plans.

Her whole family would be terribly disappointed, but no more disappointed than Cara would at postponing becoming a married woman. By the time she eventually did find a better husband prospect—a man more considerate of her needs—Sophia would have passed away. Cara would live the rest of her days regretting that she hadn’t fulfilled her grandmother’s wish to attend her favorite granddaughter’s wedding.

Moving like an old man, Neil closed the garage doors after Cara’s car had disappeared from sight. Her visit had robbed him of all incentive to resume his repairs to the engine of the car. After turning off the boom box, he went inside his silent house.

For all her bravado, Neil expected that Cara would give in to Xavier’s ultimatum that she quit her job at Griffin’s Auto Parts. What choice did she have?—other than to cancel the wedding, and she wouldn’t go that far. Those same pressures that had caused her to settle for Xavier were still operative, primary among them the desire to grant her dying grandmother’s fervent wish to see Cara married.

In a matter of a few weeks or a couple of months at most, Cara would no longer be Neil’s employee. He wouldn’t have daily contact with her. For a while she’d keep in touch, dropping by the store occasionally or calling him on the phone. Then she’d get caught up in her world that didn’t include him any more.

The whole chain of events he foresaw was so damned depressing. And yet Neil couldn’t let Cara suspect how her absence from his life would affect him. Not for anything would he cause her guilt on his behalf.

Xavier might as well snatch the sun right out of the sky as deprive Neil of Cara’s sunny presence.

In the kitchen, Neil opened the refrigerator and closed it. He wasn’t hungry, and the effort to fix himself even the simplest meal didn’t seem worth the trouble.

Chapter Three

Cara stuck her head in the door of the stockroom, where Neil was training a new stockboy. “Neil, I’m going to the post office now. Can I run any errands for you while I’m out and about?”

“Hmm, seems like there was some errand,” he replied, scratching his head. “I’ll walk out with you. Maybe it’ll come to me.” Mainly Neil was seizing the opportunity to talk to Cara one-on-one.

Three days had gone by since she’d come to his house. She’d been awfully subdued for someone usually so outgoing and carefree. He hadn’t questioned her about the status of her relationship with Xavier out of respect for her privacy, instead waiting for her to come to him. But so far she hadn’t, and Neil was concerned about her.

“Is everything okay?” he asked when they’d emerged from the store, both of them pausing to carry on conversation. “Did you patch things up with Xavier?”

Cara sighed. “Yes, but it’s not going to work out. I’ve decided to break up with him.”

“I noticed he hasn’t been around.”

“He’s making a big deal about not coming here to the store in order to avoid you. But there are more issues than my job. Roy’s turned out to be a domineering type. I would never be happy married to him.” She mustered a smile. “Your instincts were right on target, not surprisingly.”

“Better to find out now,” he said, his voice gruff with sympathy.

“If only I hadn’t talked myself into saying yes to him. You don’t know how I dread breaking the news to my family that there isn’t going to be a wedding. I’ll never live this down.” She closed her eyes and shuddered. “What a mess. Nonna and my mother and sisters didn’t waste a minute going shopping for their outfits to wear. They all spent a fortune.”

“They haven’t worn the outfits. Can’t they be returned?”

“That’s not the point. It’s just going to be such a big letdown for the whole family.” Cara shook her head slowly, her pretty face haunted. “Especially Nonna. It was so cruel of me to give her a false sense of happiness. Last night I lay awake half the night, trying to think of some solution. I even considered begging Roy to go through with the wedding with the agreement that we’d only stay married while Nonna was alive. Then we’d get a divorce. But I know he wouldn’t do it.”

“That’s a crazy idea. You poor kid. I wish there was something I could do to help you out.” Neil wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close, not really caring that cars were passing by on the street behind the store parking lot.

Cara leaned into him, burrowing her cheek against his shoulder. “What I need is a bridegroom and temporary husband. It wouldn’t be a bad deal for a man who liked Italian food,” she said with a brave attempt at humor. “You’ve eaten my lasagne.”

“I sure have, and you’re tempting me to volunteer.”

“I wish.” She kissed him on the cheek and stepped away, glancing out toward the street. “There goes Agnes Tanner in that green car, talking on her trusty cell phone. The whole town will be abuzz with her description of us in a clench outside the store.”

“Then our romance following your breakup up with Xavier won’t come as any great surprise,” Neil said lightly, wanting to make her smile at his ridiculous statement.

Cara gazed at him searchingly. “You wouldn’t really consider a fake romance, would you, Neil?”

“No, because you’re not serious about a fake marriage,” he chided her.

“I could be serious if you were willing. It wouldn’t be at all unpleasant sharing a house with you for six months or a year. We get along great. You wouldn’t invade my space and I wouldn’t invade yours. But, I realize that would be asking far too much.” She turned to leave and then stopped. “Was there an errand?”

“Yes, but I still don’t remember what it was.” He waved her on and went back inside, no less worried about her well-being than he’d been before she’d filled him in. She’d gotten herself into a no-win situation with the best of intentions. Neil was afraid she would cave in to all the pressures bearing on her and end up going through with marrying Xavier rather than cancel the wedding and disappoint her family.

Damn it, he wouldn’t stand by and let her do something that desperate. If nothing else, he would agree to participate in her far-fetched scheme to fake a marriage.

Why not? He wasn’t dating anyone, didn’t foresee wanting to date anyone, ever. Cara was wrong. It wouldn’t be asking too much of him. Not too much at all.

The talk with Neil hadn’t erased Cara’s dilemma, but, as always, she felt better after confiding in him, more positive that things would be okay. Somehow. Some way.

It surprised—and intrigued—her that he hadn’t been more emphatic in his refusal when she’d asked, You wouldn’t really consider a fake romance?

Cara couldn’t help wondering whether she could actually persuade Neil to agree to a temporary marriage. Whether or not he would go that far to help her out, she would never know because she wouldn’t ask that big a favor of him.

And yet…

The idea was crazy. Not to mention the dishonesty involved in speaking marriage vows with the intention of not staying married. But wouldn’t the good outweigh the bad? Wouldn’t God understand? How could it be wrong to grant Nonna’s wish to attend Cara’s wedding before she died?