Untouched

3

“CAN I ASK YOU something?”

Kristy’s voice interrupted Risa’s thoughts, scattered as they were. All she wanted to do was get back to her apartment and find out what the hell Daniel MacAlister was up to. He claimed that Risa was the reason he was staying in Falmouth instead of with his family in Harwich, but that was just a cover. Risa knew he had to be on assignment, and she needed details. She responded to Kristy absently, hoping there wasn’t going to be more talk about how attractive Daniel was.

“Sure, what?”

“Do you watch everyone in the building?”

“I’ll disconnect the monitors. I told you why I did it. I know it was wrong, but—”

“No, I don’t mean it that way. I just wondered. How did you do it? It’s sort of creepy, you know, in general. Someone can be watching you at any time, even in your own home, and you have no idea.”

She shuddered, and Risa felt terrible—guilt was an emotion that had been largely regarded as useless in her life. She couldn’t do her work if she was going to feel guilty about prying into people’s thoughts, etc. But it was different this time—most of the people she’d scanned before were terrorists, enemies, but Kristy was neither.

“I was good with technology when I worked for the government.”

She thought back to all the hours, days and weeks when she’d been glued to computer networks, sifting through a constant barrage of information, trying to catch any stray byte that would be meaningful to the analysts at the Pentagon. It was a more intense connection, more difficult to maintain, than reading people, and once she’d gotten inside of the stream of information, it was often difficult getting back out. She’d shorted out like an overloaded circuit several times before they figured out how much she could take. Even then, Dr. Laslow had pressed her limits, always reminding her how important her work was. After her parents’ deaths, her work became her purpose, the thing she held on to that was constant in her life. If she ever felt lonely, she’d learned to push it aside.

It was an added benefit that all the residual knowledge, all of her understanding of how computers and networks worked, had stayed with her. She knew computers as well as she knew her own heartbeat. This wasn’t something she could share with Kristy, obviously. For her friend’s safety, the less she knew, the better.

However, Risa had never really had any conflict about her work or about spying on the people in her apartment building. She’d been taught to do what was necessary, and that’s what she’d done. She herself was exposed and studied in every aspect of her life, by Laslow and the government; it was the norm for her. But Kristy reminded her that most people expected privacy.

“It’s not difficult to get basic surveillance equipment if you know where to look, and since the building already had a decent security system, I just worked with that and added some enhancements. Mostly at night, or when people were out at work, gone shopping, stuff like that.”

“Even Ben Richter, on the third floor?”

Risa turned her head, detecting a subtle change in Kristy’s tone—why was she asking these questions?

“Yeah, even him. Why?”

“I’ve been crazy about him for months, but he doesn’t even know I’m alive. He works at the same lab I do. He’s here for a year from Germany as part of Ridge 2000—the program studying the midocean ridges. I thought he was just shy, but I can’t seem to strike up a conversation, or anything,” she confessed hurriedly.

“Maybe he’s not into women.”

Kristy smiled, though Risa didn’t understand what was so funny. It was a logical deduction that if a man wasn’t interested in an attractive woman like Kristy, then one of the reasons could be that he was gay. Or married. Or both.

“Nah, thanks for the vote of confidence, but I don’t think I’m that irresistible. And I’ve seen him out with girls. Believe me, those looks combined with his accent—Oh, my God, just hearing him say ‘good morning’ turns my knees to water—any red-blooded woman within hearing distance is toast. I never would have thought a German accent would be sexy, but oh, my.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s not gay.”

“How do you figure?”

“I read the minds of many men who had homoerotic tendencies, most of them buried in the subconscious. They didn’t even realize it themselves. Most of them were married or actively hetero. A lot of people simply can’t deal with those repressed feelings.”

Kristy shrugged. “I guess it’s possible. But I just have a gut feeling it’s not true in Ben’s case.”

Risa turned, interested. “Gut feeling?”

“Yeah, you know, an instinct. You just kind of know when something is true, even when all signs would indicate otherwise. Intuition, I guess. You know what I mean?”

“No, not really.” Risa scowled and looked out the window—she had sensed some things about people around her, Kristy and Daniel, but she found the vague indications of moods or tones aggravating after spending a lifetime accessing specific information. “I thought you were more of a scientific type?”

“I am. I am a solid supporter of the scientific method. However, the really big advances, the breakthroughs in science, are usually based on intuition. Those inklings can lead a scientist in the right direction.”

“If you say so.”

Kristy shot her a disbelieving look. “Don’t you get ‘gut feelings’?”

Risa wasn’t sure how to answer. “Dr. Laslow said my instincts weren’t as developed as normal people’s since I could simply find out what I needed to know with a touch. My superior strength meant I didn’t have the strong fight-or-flight responses that normal people have. Now I can sense some things about people or situations, but it’s not something I trust—I don’t know how anyone could trust it.”

Kristy passed over that idea to hone in on what Risa had let slip. “You were superstrong, too? Is that part of the psychic thing?”

Risa cursed herself silently—she had to be more careful. “I’d been working for the government, and in physical training, pretty much since I was born. I guess I was just in better physical shape from childhood than most people,” she hedged.

Of course, that wouldn’t explain why she didn’t have that same strength now, and she hoped her shrewd friend didn’t ask. Risa spoke quickly, filling the gap before Kristy could inquire anymore deeply.

“I’ve always been curious about things like intuition and gut feelings, though. When you have a feeling about something, do you actually feel it? Is it sensation? Pain?”

“No, not actual pain. I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone, but I get a kind of sinking feeling in my stomach if I think something bad is happening. Or, for instance, every time I see Ben, I just know that if I could get his attention, we’d be great together.”

“And you trust these feelings? Without knowing for sure?”

“Completely.”

Risa thought about the warm, pleasant sensation she’d had when MacAlister had kissed her, but she wasn’t comfortable discussing it. She’d assumed everyone had that reaction to being kissed, but maybe it came down to chemistry? What did that mean for her and MacAlister? Was that the same kind of gut feeling Kristy had for Ben?

“But Ben’s never talked to you? You don’t know him?”

“Not much. Basic conversation, hello, goodbye, how are you? That’s it. But I can’t get my mind off of him. Anyway, I was thinking if I had an inside line, if I knew about his interests, or what he does outside of work, you know, like where he was going this Saturday, then maybe I might fare a little better.”

“You want me to spy on Ben so you can try to seduce him.” This made sense, and Risa smiled. So maybe Kristy’s gut feelings weren’t so sure—she wanted some thing more solid to go on.

Kristy smiled, pulling onto Falmouth’s main street, heading toward their apartment building. “I guess that’s the direct way of putting it. I don’t want to really spy on him, I just thought…”

“You don’t want me disconnecting my monitors?”

Risa was surprised—and a little worried. Should she do this for Kristy? She tried to quiet her mind and listen to her “gut feelings” but she couldn’t—her rational mind took over. What Kristy was asking was harmless, as long as they kept it under control.

“Sure, we can see what he’s up to this weekend,” Risa agreed. “But I don’t watch anything too private, so no looking when he’s walking around naked.”

“He walks around the apartment n-naked?” Kristy’s mouth dropped open, and Risa smiled, saying nothing. This could be fun.

DANIEL WATCHED the two women a few car lengths ahead of him as they raced back up Route 6 toward Falmouth. They appeared to be talking animatedly, and he wondered about what. His mission had been accelerated whether he liked it or not.

Having family on the Cape gave him a good cover—but he hadn’t counted on bumping into Anna. He gripped the wheel more tightly, barely noticing the landscape around him while he drove. The area hadn’t changed too much over the years—more stores, more people, but it was still relatively deserted. The swell of tourist season was a few months away.

Keeping an eye on Risa would have been easier with more people around—he could get lost in the crowd. Instead, his sister had found him lurking in the women’s lingerie department at the mall, where he’d stood out like a sore thumb. He’d come up with a believable explanation off the cuff, but now he had more problems. Anna knew he was here, and the rest of his family would know before long.

Although he’d managed to back out of the fiancé story, there remained several kinks in his cover. He needed to have a convincing reason he wasn’t staying in Harwich, at his family’s home. Pursuing a love interest in Falmouth was the first option that had popped into his mind.

Risa wasn’t buying any of it, of course. He had to spin the story differently to reassure her that she was safe, and not send her running—especially if she was up to something. Partial truths always worked better than outright lies; he could admit to checking up on her, making sure she was adjusting, but also claim to be visiting his family.

Would she believe that he’d been harboring a latent attraction to her all those years, and had come to try to make good on it now? Maybe capitalizing on pulling her out of the lab, saving her life? Possible, though he was less comfortable with that angle. Playing both ends of his story was tricky, but not impossible; he’d certainly been in tougher situations. This was merely inconvenient.

While he’d had his share of affairs, he couldn’t afford to think about Risa that way, not until he knew what was going on. He never let himself get involved that way on the job unless it was unavoidable—and only if he could retain complete control of the situation. Something told him that would not be the case with Risa.

However, he couldn’t quite erase the lingering sensation of their kiss. He had no idea what had compelled him to kiss Risa. In spite of himself, he’d been carried away, just for a second, shocked at her softness, stunned at his own pulsing reaction to her. Remembering the moment had his heart rate spiking disconcertingly.

Risa wasn’t experienced, he knew that, but the way she’d leaned in had a sweetness he hadn’t anticipated. She’d responded with more curiosity than desire, but he’d found it just as inflaming. She was beautiful. Innocent—at least in the physical sense. How could a young woman have a normal sex life with Risa’s powers? Not to mention growing up in a government lab where she was constantly monitored.

As they pulled into the small parking lot in front of her apartment building, he slowed down, lengthening the distance between them, and instead of following, he took a sharp right and hit the gas. He had to think, to process what had happened. Now wasn’t the time to confront her. She’d want answers, explanations, and he had to think, to get the upper hand. Whatever happened between them would be on his terms, not hers.

“OKAY, FESS UP.”

Kristy cornered her as soon as they got through the apartment door, lugging all of the bags that they’d brought home from the store. God, how many clothes did Kristy think she needed? Risa was only one woman, and she’d done well wearing more or less the same outfits for twenty-six years. What was she going to do with all of this stuff?

Hoping to deflect the conversation she knew was looming, Risa bent and picked up a scrap of leopard-print silk that slipped from one of the bags.

“What’s this?”

“That, sweetie, is a thong. Fashion’s brilliant way of avoiding panty lines.”

Risa held it up, investigating the thin string of fabric that she logically realized would go…Her gaze swerved back to Kristy. “No way am I wearing this.”

“You’ll have to at least try it—amazingly comfortable. Men love them—very sexy—so stop stalling. I told you about my crush, so now you tell me about yours.”

“There’s not much to tell.”

She had no idea why Daniel MacAlister was here. Why had he intruded and gotten her out of trouble? Kissed her? And then disappeared? Kristy seemed to see Daniel’s appearance as romantic. She wouldn’t if she knew him, and what he was capable of.

“Um, guys don’t usually materialize out of nowhere, save the day, proclaim they have feelings for you, oh, yeah, and kiss the daylights out of you in front of anyone who’s watching. Share.”

Risa sighed, relenting. “I did work with him, and it was strictly professional. If he had feelings, I never knew, and I don’t want to.”

Kristy’s eyes widened with concern. “I’m picking up a weird vibe from you—is he stalking you?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.” Risa dismissed the idea with a frown. “I don’t know what he’s up to.”

“Risa, if he’s not a danger, a man like that is not to be cast aside lightly. Did you see those eyes? He was looking at you like he could have eaten you in one big bite.”

“He probably could,” she murmured to herself, not wanting to pursue this conversation anymore. To redirect Kristy, she flicked on the monitor and switched the feed to Ben’s room, relieved when she saw her upstairs neighbor’s image fill the screen. Kristy was immediately distracted.

“He’s soooo cute, I can’t stand it. Look at his furniture! I knew he’d have good taste. I could tell by the way he dressed, even though I usually see him with his lab coat on. Oh, my…and he’s flexible, too.”

Kristy and Risa observed Ben on the computer monitor, moving through his stretches before he started performing a set of powerful martial arts moves, battling an invisible assailant. Risa recognized the expertise in his abilities, the smoothness of his movements, the concentration on his face. Ben didn’t move like an amateur. Still, a lot of people studied martial arts. There were three schools in the local area.

“My guess is that he holds at least one black belt. I had a few lessons myself—and Ben looks pretty advanced.”

Kristy made a fanning motion in front of her face, even though it was a cool sixty-three degrees in the apartment. “God, that makes him even hotter. He’s like James Bond or something behind his geeky lab coat. Does he really walk around naked? Or were you just yanking me?”

Risa rolled her eyes.

“C’mon, tell me.”

“I only saw him do it once. I don’t watch him often because he…”

“Wasn’t going to grocery shop for you?”

Risa nodded, her cheeks staining.

“What else can you tell me about him?”

“Like what?”

“C’mon—if you saw him naked, even once, you’ve seen the goods, right? Impressive? Average? Museum-worthy or garage sale?”

Risa crunched her eyebrows again, unsure exactly what Kristy was hinting at.

Kristy sighed exaggeratedly. “How big is he? You know, down there?”

Risa’s eyes went wide with realization, and she suddenly couldn’t resist teasing. She marveled at it for a moment—she hadn’t felt this sensation in, well, as long as she could recall. She smiled, shrugging.

“It’s hard to tell—everything looks small on the screen.”

Kristy moaned in frustration, and then laughed, continuing to watch Ben work out. Ben Richter was attractive, she supposed. Risa knew about sex—in the technical sense. With her powers, Dr. Laslow wouldn’t permit anyone to come that close to her, and her life wasn’t one that encouraged relationships to blossom. She thought about sex from time to time out of natural curiosity, but it was such a nonissue in her life that she’d gotten used to putting it out of her mind.

However, if she were completely truthful, she’d admit that she had noticed Daniel MacAlister more than once—he was difficult to ignore. There was something about him that had always grabbed her attention. He stood apart, though she’d never really thought about why.

She’d been on a team with him for the first time when she was only eighteen. She remembered feeling awkward in his presence, something that hadn’t ever happened before. There’d been one point on the mission when he’d stripped down to change into a diving suit, and she’d had to curl her fingers into her palms to stop from running a hand down his chest. She hadn’t understood the urge—it had shocked her on some basic level. She knew the power of her touch meant it was forbidden for her to lay hands on anyone she worked with. It was standard operating procedure, and she’d never been tempted to break the rules. Until she’d seen him.

When they’d returned, Dr. Laslow hadn’t been happy with her biofeedback, which had clued him in to how distracted she’d been, and why. A long lecture on her duties, on maintaining focus, had resulted. Risa had worked hard not to let it happen again. Natural curiosity or not, her work was too important to let silly things like sex interfere.

That wasn’t the case now. However, as fascinated as she was by her response to MacAlister’s kiss, she doubted it was going to happen again.

“Oh, here we go—a phone call. Maybe this will tell me something interesting.”

Risa’s attention swung back to the screen. Ben picked up the phone and Kristy pumped up the volume until his voice could be heard clearly.

“Oh, he’s going to meet friends out—male friends by the sound of it. No trace of a girlfriend waiting in the wings so far.”

“Do you know the place he mentioned?”

“I do. And he’s going to be there at seven, so I think I might just be there, too.”

“Sounds like you have a good plan.”

Kristy bit her lip. “But it would look bad for me to just be standing around in a bar, like I do that all the time, you know, hanging out and picking up guys.”

“That’s bad?”

Kristy rolled her eyes. “Yes, unless you only want a one-night pickup, and I’m hoping for a little more than that with Ben. Maybe a lot more.”

“How can you know?”

“I told you—I have a feeling.”

“Right. The feeling.”

It was all very complicated, and Risa suspected she was fortunate to have skipped this part of human relationships.

“You have to come with me. You can wear that new dress we bought.”

Risa stepped back, hands up. “No. No way.”

“You don’t do alcohol?”

Risa had never touched a drop—she’d been on a strictly regimented diet at the compound. “I’ve never had it.”

“You’ve never been to a bar? Never had a beer, even as a teenager? What else haven’t you done?”

Risa didn’t answer, but felt heat move up into her face. She hated that—it never used to happen, unless she was angry or being chastised—but now it seemed like every five minutes her face was turning red.

Kristy somehow understood and she clapped a hand over her astonished expression. Risa was amazed at the level of communication humans could share without saying anything.

“Oh, honey…really?”

Risa answered coolly, hoping to put an end to the conversation. “I appreciate you wanting me to come with you, but I’d really rather stay here. You must have other friends you could go with….”

Kristy shook her head, stepping forward and taking both of Risa’s hands in hers. “I don’t—not here. All of the women at work are older or married and with families. My friends are all back in Boston. I know it’s a lot for you, but it would be fun for you to get out, to live a little. Sounds like you missed a lot while you were working for the government. Don’t you deserve to have some fun? To have a life?”

The words burned through Risa’s objections and stoked the flames of deeply hidden desires and curiosities so long denied. While she knew that Kristy was being convincing partly for self-serving reasons, Risa wondered if she wasn’t right. She had missed out on a lot. If she had to be stuck in this “normal” life, maybe it was time she started grabbing it by the horns and catching up.

She lifted the bags and looked at Kristy, relenting. “You think I should wear the red dress?”

4

DANIEL SAT ON THE EDGE of his bed, flipping through Laslow’s reports on Risa—he was supposed to destroy them as per Jack’s orders, but he’d held on to the files, reading them again to remind himself that what he was seeing was real. His eyes moved over one paragraph:

1992. Mission objective: detect terrorist communications on emerging Internet chatrooms—sift through data to select most likely targets and associations. The resource collapsed after six hours of sifting, emergency care implemented. More effective use of our resource in this capacity will require research to prevent overloads. The resource seems to experience great deal of pain when not protected from overload, though all of its physical indicators show no permanent damage. Increased healing capacity? More experiments need to be done to define its upper and lower ranges of sensitivity.

He’d known that Risa had mind-reading abilities, but no one outside of her handlers really knew the total extent of her powers. Most knowledgeable of all was the author of the reports, Dr. Peter Laslow, who’d been studying and training her since birth. Now Daniel knew everything, too, and he was having difficulty reconciling it all. Little he read in the reports seemed reflective of the woman he’d met in the store today.

He winced every time Laslow referred to Risa as “the resource” or “it.” Daniel knew it was to protect her identity should the files get into the wrong hands, but still. She’d been just thirteen years old when that entry was written.

She’d been used for just about everything he could imagine—interrogations, most frequently. When she was barely more than a child she’d spent weeks on end meeting with some of the worst terrorist suspects on the planet, probing their minds for what information she could relay to her handlers.

The notes detailed a string of collapses occurring with increased frequency in the adolescent years. Some were more serious than others as they discovered and tested the limits of her powers. They’d eventually developed ways for her to filter what her mind grabbed on to, to protect herself—not out of compassion, but because they couldn’t risk losing her as an asset. After her accident, she’d suffered frequent blackouts and headaches; Daniel wondered if they were still happening.

He’d seen the ravages of terrorism. The images were scarred onto his mind. But Risa had actually been inside of the minds of people who committed, or intended to commit, some of the worst crimes in history. She’d learned their languages and had been a part of them when she explored their minds. What did that do to a person? Could she ever adjust to ordinary life?