The Guilty Wife

‘And—and this?’

Realising what she meant, he held her closer and said softly, ‘I won’t rush you into anything. I’ll let you set the pace. But I would like to kiss you again. Now. May I?’

But he didn’t wait for her to agree; his hands were already cupping her face, tilting her head so that his lips could seek hers, so lightly at first, softly exploring, tracing with tiny kisses the length of her upper lip, gently biting at the fullness of the lower one. Then, using the tip of his tongue, he made her open her mouth and let him in, and suddenly his lips weren’t gentle any more, but hot and forceful and demanding.

Lucie gave a small moan and closed her eyes, letting him take her with him on a deep spiral of pleasure, where the world was lost and the only sensations were those of his closeness, of the flame of passion that erupted through her veins—the need, the desire, the knowledge that for her nothing in the world had ever been as wonderful as this, that nothing else mattered so much.

Seton’s shoulders hunched as he kissed her, his breathing quickened and he said her name over and over again, his voice thick, the murmured name mingling with her own gasping sighs. His kiss deepened with passion until he drew back suddenly, remembering his promise. Lifting his head, he held her against his chest and she could feel the beating of his heart.

‘I’m afraid,’ she said, with an honesty he couldn’t possibly understand.

‘I know, but there’s no need to be, my darling. I’ll take care of you.’

‘Please—I think you’d better go now.’

‘You don’t trust me, huh?’ He smiled tenderly down at her. ‘Well, maybe you’re right; I’ve never found myself in this kind of situation before.’

‘What kind?’

His eyes crinkled and he gave her lips the merest touch with his. ‘Wild about you, of course.’ And then he opened the door and was gone as Lucie still stood with eyes open wide in astonishment.

Seton came to collect her the next morning, buoyant, on a high, reaching out to kiss her as soon as he arrived. Lucie, too, was exhilarated by excitement, but was also full of nervous tension. She could see happiness opening before her but was afraid to grasp it, so she held him off.

‘No! Don’t touch me,’ she cried out, knowing that she would be lost if he held her.

But he put his hands on her shoulders and said, ‘Lucie? What is it?’

‘This—this attraction you feel. It could be just a chemical thing, something that’s hit us out of the blue.’

‘Ah, so you admit it hit you too,’ he said with satisfaction.

Ignoring that, Lucie said, ‘How do you know it won’t go away as suddenly as it came? You might wake up one morning and hate the sight of me.’

‘If I woke up with you beside me it couldn’t be anything but wonderful—perfect,’ Seton said simply.

She tried to argue with him, to point out that something that had happened so quickly couldn’t possibly last. But Seton merely laughed and pulled her into his arms.

Lucie gave a sigh of frustration. ‘Oh, you big fool! Why won’t you listen to me? Take me seriously?’

But then he kissed her and immediately Lucie was lost again, and somehow she knew that she always would be, that whenever he kissed her it would always be like this, a total domination of her mind, her heart and her body. And yet she accepted it gladly, glorying in it, knowing that it was the same for him.

He was, she observed, unchangeable, and he proved it in the next weeks as he saw her as often as he could. That first week he was around all the time, driving her wherever she wanted to go, taking her out to eat, solicitous about her injured wrist. And after the first week, when he had to go back to London to work, he put a great many miles on the Jaguar as he drove down to take her to dinner and the theatre—place that she would never have gone to normally. He didn’t seem at all short of money, and although he didn’t throw it around he was always very generous, booking the best seats at the theatre or cinema, tables at well-known restaurants.

Although he obeyed the rules she’d set down for them to get to know each other better and not to rush things, Seton was quite capable of trying to break down her defences. Often, when they said goodnight, he would kiss her so passionately that it almost broke her resolve, but somehow she managed to push him away, to send him home empty and unfulfilled, as frustrated as she was herself.

It was a long, hot summer, and one day, when they’d known each other about six weeks, Seton hired a boat for the day and rowed her down the river that meandered through the old town, making sure she had cushions to make her comfortable, although her wrist was almost mended now. He’d brought a picnic hamper and dangled a bottle of wine over the side to keep it cool until they came to a quiet spot of trees and dappled sunlight. There Seton moored and helped her onto the bank.

He laid a rug down on the grass and they ate and drank, listening to old, trad jazz tunes on a cassette player. He had taken off his shirt because of the heat and, although she tried to resist, Lucie found her eyes drawn to his broad, smooth chest and the muscles that rippled in his shoulders and arms. The slight breeze made the leaves above them move, casting shadows that played across his body, first highlighting a shoulder, then the tiny, fascinating nipples, then the length of his back as he turned away from her to repack the hamper.

It was erotic, sexy, as if some mischievous Cupid had deliberately set out to tease and tantalise her senses. Lucie’s throat tightened and she felt a fierce surge of longing, an emotion so strong that almost of its own volition her hand lifted and she touched his back, letting her fingers trail down the length of his spine. She felt a great quiver of awareness run through him before Seton turned swiftly to face her. The need for her was there in his eyes—deep, intense concupiscence. A need, she knew, that was mirrored in her own.

‘Lucie.’ He said her name on a long, low breath of discovery and pleasure. Reaching out a trembling, unsteady hand, he put it on her cheek and slowly stroked her face, holding her eyes all the time. Then he came up on his knees so that he could bend to kiss her.

His lips were hot, eager, quivering with anticipation. Putting her hand on his shoulder, Lucie felt his skin taut and damp with perspiration, not from the heat but from the excitement of knowing that she wanted him. His breathing ragged, Seton lifted his head for a moment, his lips parted as he stared at her. Without hesitation, Lucie put her hand behind his head and drew him down to her again, returning his kiss with a fire she had never shown before.

With a cry, Seton bore her back onto the rug, raining kisses on her lips, her eyes, her throat. Then, his breath a panting gasp, he raised himself on one elbow and slowly undid the buttons of her shirt. His moan of pleasure was almost like one of pain as he looked at her breasts for the first time, seeing them young and firm, the nipples small, tight buds that tilted tantalisingly towards him. ‘You’re so beautiful. So perfect.’ Unable to resist, Seton bent to kiss, to touch, to arouse her into hardness and drive them both wild with frustrated longing.

‘God, I want you,’ he moaned. ‘It’s driving me crazy. I can’t sleep. I can’t work. I think about you all the time.’

Lucie opened eyes dark with need to look at him. ‘Think about making love, do you mean?’

‘Oh, yes. I ache for that. But I think of so much more, of—’

He broke off abruptly as Lucie reached out to his belt. ‘You’ll have to help me,’ she said unsteadily. ‘I can’t manage with only one hand.’

‘Lucie.’ Seton stared down at her. ‘Are you sure?’

She smiled at him. ‘Oh, yes, I’m very sure.’ And she finally admitted, ‘You’re not the only one who’s been having sleepless nights. So why don’t we make our wish come true?’ she invited huskily.

There was wonder in Seton’s eyes as, coming up on his knees and taking his time, delighting in every moment and saving it for ever in his memory, he took off the rest of her clothes. She looked so beautiful lying there before him. The knowledge that in a moment she would be his at last, that he would enter her and make her his own, made his breath rasp in his throat. His hands shook as he touched her, the thought of the joy and pleasure that was to come almost overwhelming. When she lay completely naked, he murmured, ‘I adore you. Oh, my darling, I worship you.’

‘Take me, then.’ Lucie’s voice grew urgent. ‘Take me now!’

Slipping off his own clothes, Seton bent first to kiss her again before coming down onto her. He tried to be gentle at first, but the exquisite, agonising pleasure soon aroused him so much that he lost control. With a gasping cry, he put an arm under her hips and lifted her towards him, thrusting with such passion that Lucie cried out, her body on fire with ecstasy, her hot, panting mouth searching for his, her arms around him, holding him yet closer. The rising tide of sensuality overtook them, engulfed them, and their mingled groans of delight echoed into the air as their bodies joined in the most primitive and yet most beautiful act in the world.

When it was over they lay in each other’s arms for a long time, too exhausted to move, too enraptured still by what had taken place between them to want to break the spell. Until, at length, Seton, his heart still thudding in his chest, raised an unsteady hand to move a lock of hair that clung to her damp face. When she opened her eyes and looked at him, Lucie saw the most wonderful light of happiness in his face. It shone from him, in the blaze of triumph in his eyes, in the smile of tenderness he gave her. ‘That,’ he said simply as he gently kissed her, ‘was the most wonderful moment of my life.’

Lucie sighed softly, knowing herself completely happy and fulfilled, her body satiated with pleasure.

‘And for you?’ he questioned. ‘Was it good for you too?’ A rueful look came into his eyes. ‘I didn’t mean to be quite so passionate, but things kind of got out of control.’

Lifting her hand, Lucie ran her fingertips over his lips, then down to circle his minute nipples, knowing it was safe to play with him, tease him. ‘I never knew before that they had earthquakes in England.’

He grinned delightedly. ‘The earth moved, did it?’

‘And some.’ Lifting herself into a sitting position, she pushed him back onto the rug and leaned down to kiss him, her long hair shading their faces, making the kiss very intimate, very private. ‘I’m glad you lost control,’ she said softly, her lips against his mouth. Straightening, she let her hand move over him, caressing, exploring. ‘You’re so strong,’ she murmured. ‘Have such power.’

Taking his hands, she held her own against it, comparing their size, amazed at how much smaller hers was. Fascinated by the physical differences between them, Lucie gazed at him, at the length of his lean body, quiet now and unaroused. She ran her hand along his soft skin, from his neck down his chest and thighs, along his muscled legs to his feet. ‘You’re beautiful,’ she said in admiration. ‘I didn’t know a naked man could be beautiful.’

Her hand trailed up again but found that things had changed. She gave a surprised gasp, and explored a little more until Seton couldn’t bear it any longer. With a groan he pulled her under him and made love to her again.

Rowing back up the river, the evening sun casting long shadows over the water, was a moment to be held and treasured. Lucie had never felt so content, so fulfilled. And it showed in her face, in her radiant smile and the glow of happiness in her eyes. It had been a golden day in her life, a day satiated by food and wine, by sun and sex, by coming alive as a woman.

Seton found it hard to take his eyes off her, she looked so beautiful. And she looked as if she had been well and truly loved; it showed in the languid hand she trailed in the water, in the intimate smiles she gave him with languorous eyes, in the way her mouth curved and her lips parted in remembered pleasure. Just looking at her like that was an aphrodisiac, made him want her yet again.

‘Do you remember,’ he said, ‘when I told you I wanted you? Before—well, before the wish came true, I started to say that it wasn’t just making love that I wanted.’

‘Just making love?’ She smiled at him teasingly.

He grinned back at her, the triumph of winning her and of giving her such pleasure obvious in his face. ‘I know. A stupid way of putting it.’ His voice becoming earnest, he went on, ‘But I do want more, Lucie. I want to be with you, know that you’re mine. I dream of coming home to find you waiting for me. I long for the time when I won’t have to drive away and leave you at the end of an evening together.’ His voice grew husky. ‘That tears me apart, having to leave you.’

She thought he was asking her to let him stay at the flat with her that night so that they could make love again. So she said, ‘I want that too. I want you to stay whenever you can.’

They came to the boatyard and Seton concentrated on taking them neatly up against the mooring, on tying the boat up. Helping her out, he said in her ear, ‘You have grass in your hair.’

‘Oh.’ Lucie laughed as she combed it with her fingers, and threw him a pert glance that was full of new-found confidence. He had given her femininity, and an assurance of her power to arouse him.

Collecting their picnic things, they strolled back to his car and loaded them into the boot. Seton opened the sun-roof to let the heat out and they drove to a pub and sat on the terrace overlooking the river for a drink. Over it, Seton said, ‘I will stay tonight, of course, but that wasn’t what I meant.’ Taking her hand, he said, ‘I’m head over heels in love with you, Lucie. I want to be with you for always. I want you to marry me, my darling, just as soon as we can arrange it.’

Lucie stared at him in stunned surprise, her mind whirling. ‘But I—I thought you just wanted...’

‘Oh, Lucie, how could you be so blind? Surely you must know how much I care about you?’

She pulled her hand away, a stricken look in her eyes. ‘But it’s too soon. We’ve only known each other a few weeks.’

‘But what difference does that make? I know you love me; today proved that. Can you deny it? Can you, Lucie?’

Slowly she shook her head, knowing that to pretend would be useless. But she repeated, ‘It’s too soon.’

Lifting a hand to stroke her face, Seton said, ‘I know what you’re saying, but you’re all wrong, my darling girl! I fell in love with you almost from the first moment. To me it was a miracle—a very wonderful miracle. And I know that there’s no way in the world that I could ever stop loving you. Nothing you or anyone else can do could possibly make me change the way I feel. I’m not going to grow out of it and nor are you. Believe me, Lucie, this is for keeps.’

She stared across at him. ‘You—you’ll go on loving me, no matter what?’ she said faintly.

Seton smiled, his eyes so full of warmth and tenderness that she knew she would hold this moment in her heart for ever. ‘No matter what,’ he agreed. ‘Fate has thrown us together in the most remarkable manner and there’s no way I’m ever going to let you go now that I’ve found you at last.’

Making one last, desperate effort, she said, ‘We could live together, if you like. I’d give up my job and the flat and come to live with you, or else you could move in with me.’

Seton’s hand tightened for a moment and there was a glow in his eyes as he said, ‘I appreciate that, I really do, but what’s the point? If we’re going to live together, if we’re so committed to each other that we want to be together all the time, then why not get married? And remember I’m nearly thirty years old. I need to get started.’

‘Started on what?’

‘Married life. A family.’ To his delight she blushed. ‘Oh, Lucie. My darling girl.’ His voice softened.

‘You’ve trusted yourself to me today, Lucie; won’t you trust yourself for the rest of your life?’

For a moment a bright dream of happiness unfolded before her, so strong, almost within her grasp. ‘I want to,’ she said on a sigh. ‘I really want to.’ But her heart was troubled and she knew she had to try to be honest with him. ‘But—some years ago—’

Immediately he put his fingers over her lips, silencing her. ‘That was in the past. Forget it! It’s only the future that matters. Our future. Are you afraid to grasp it?’

She stared at him, dimly knowing that he was wrong, that you could never entirely blot out the past, but he was so forceful, so convincing that he carried her along with him on a tide of optimism and confidence. ‘No,’ she said, on a high of courage. ‘I’m not afraid.’

A great light of happiness came into Seton’s eyes. ‘Then, will you marry me, my darling, my love?’

Lucie nodded, her voice too choked up to speak. And silly tears came into her eyes before she was finally able to say, ‘Yes.’ Then more firmly she said, ‘Yes, I will marry you.’

But in the dawn of the following morning, when Seton had left her bed and Lucie was alone, when she no longer had his strength and will-power to carry her along on a tidal wave of optimism, then all the doubts and fears came crowding back. Because she hadn’t told him the truth about her past—not all of it. She hadn’t told him that she had been to prison. For three long years. And now she was terribly afraid that one day he might find out, that the past might come back to haunt her.

CHAPTER ONE

AS LUCIE sat on the terrace watching her son as he played in the garden, the sun warm on her face, her thoughts drifted back to that summer five years ago when she and Seton had met. Now she could laugh at the fears she’d had then, knowing that marrying Seton was the best thing she’d ever done.

They had been such happy years; she knew herself to have grown in confidence, to have blossomed in the certainty of Seton’s love for her. At first she had been almost afraid to trust this happiness, so many bad things having happened to her in the past that she’d felt it too good to be true, had been petrified that something would happen to take it all away from her. But as time passed, when Seton didn’t suddenly change, when his parents were so warm and welcoming, treating her like a loved daughter, when she met his friends and found they accepted her as one of themselves, and—most of all—when she soon became pregnant and gave birth to Sam Lucie finally put aside her fears and became the happy, contented woman she now was.

During the first year of their marriage, she and Seton had lived in London, in his old flat which was within easy reach of his chambers, but they’d begun house-hunting as soon as she’d become pregnant, spending their weekends driving around the countryside, and had found this house almost by accident.

It was an old dower house that had been empty for some time: Georgian, built of ivy-covered stone and set in almost an acre of ground on the edge of a pretty village. Lucie had fallen in love with it at once, even though it had been neglected and would need a lot of tender, loving care lavished upon it. But she had love in abundance now and together they had transformed the house into a beautiful home set in an even lovelier garden.

Seton still had to go away quite a bit, whenever the courts were in session, but he was at home as often as possible, openly delighting in his marriage, as much in love with Lucie as ever. He was away now, not due home until that evening. Glancing at her watch, Lucie saw that it was only four o’clock, nearly three hours before he would be home, but already she was impatient to see him.

‘I’m thirsty.’

Sam climbed onto her knee and made a grab for Lucie’s glass of wine but was firmly given some orange juice. ‘No, this is yours.’

‘When can I have wine?’

‘I’ve told you—when you’re as tall as Daddy.’ He smiled at her, knowing that she was fobbing him off, not believing that he would ever be as tall as the father who towered above him. His smile was so like Seton’s in the way he looked at her sometimes that Lucie’s heart lurched, overpoweringly full of love for them both. Having drunk his juice, Sam slipped off her lap and went over to the nearby sun-lounger, lay on it and was almost instantly asleep.

Getting up, Lucie moved the parasol until the shadow it cast protected him from the sun’s rays. Raising her hand, she pushed her hair off her cheek. She wore it shorter now, only down to her neck, but it was still straight, just curling inwards to frame her face. Looking down at her son, she felt a great wave of love and protectiveness. She was so glad she’d married Seton. So glad. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude, and she lifted a finger to wipe them dry.

‘Hey, what’s this?’

Lucie turned at the sound of his familiar voice and found her husband framed by the open French windows. ‘Seton!’ With a joyful cry she ran to him and he caught her in his arms, lifting her off her feet and spinning her round, then bending his head to kiss her, still holding her off the ground.

‘Daddy! Daddy!’

Looking down, Seton saw that Sam had woken and he, too, had come running to greet him, clamouring for attention by pulling at his trouser leg. Laughing, he put Lucie down but kept his arm round her waist as he stooped to lift Sam so that his little face was level with his own. He was rewarded with a kiss on his cheek and the clasp of two chubby arms that went round his neck.

‘You’re home so early! I didn’t expect you for hours.’

‘They agreed to settle out of court, thank goodness. So I was able to get away and surprise you. And I find you in tears! What on earth’s the matter?’

She wrinkled her nose. ‘Oh, I was just getting maudlin.’

‘I’d better kiss you into feeling better, then.’

‘You’ve already had enough kisses.’

‘Nonsense. A man can’t have too many kisses. You remember that, Sam.’

‘OK,’ his son said happily, and gave him another, very noisy kiss, which made them laugh.

‘Sit down and I’ll get you a drink,’ Lucie invited. ‘Then you can tell me about the case.’

Seton sat down in her vacated chair, Sam on his lap, and accepted the drink gratefully. But he didn’t talk about the case, beyond repeating that it had been settled to his client’s advantage. He never did talk about his cases in detail; to Seton, being a lawyer was like being a doctor: anything told to him was always in complete confidence.

He dealt in civil law not criminal, and sometimes cases—fraud, for example—could last quite a while, so it was always good when they finished earlier than expected. Sam was looking at him expectantly, although he didn’t ask, and after a few minutes Seton smiled, reached into his pocket and brought out a wrapped parcel which he gave to the boy. Sam opened it excitedly, to reveal a brightly coloured pencil with a rubber figure fixed on the top. He gave a crow of pleasure, gave his father another kiss, then demanded that Lucie find him some paper he could draw on.

When he was settled at the table, Seton opened his briefcase and took out a bottle of scent for Lucie.

She had pulled another chair up close to his and took his hand as she leaned forward to thank him. Their eyes met, held, were full of promise. ‘How did you know I’d almost run out?’

He smiled at her lazily. ‘It’s noticing things like that that earns a man Brownie points.’ Getting to his feet, Seton drew Lucie back inside the house, his eyes already darkening as he took her into his arms to kiss her hungrily. ‘God, I’ve missed you,’ he muttered against her mouth.

‘It’s only been a few days,’ Lucie laughed.

‘Nearer a week. A whole week of loneliness, of wanting you, longing for you. Of dreaming about you.’ He was kissing her as he spoke, on her throat, the line of her jaw, pushing aside the top of her dress to kiss and caress the fullness of her breasts. ‘Let’s go to bed,’ he said thickly.

Returning his embrace with a passion fuelled by her own longing, Lucie said, ‘It’s so early. What about Sam?’

‘He’s happy enough for the moment. Come on. Come on!’