“Um...you don’t need to be concerned. Besides, we haven’t done anything we should be ashamed of,” she said. “I haven’t...violated any vows.”
“Yet,” he said, his grin turning wicked. “It’s still early.”
“So it is,” she said, her heart thundering hard.
“Do you want to dance?”
She looked at his outstretched hand and she felt an ache, a need, tighten in her belly. Ajax had never once danced with her. Had never even asked. And until that moment, she hadn’t realized that she’d been missing it.
In that same moment, she realized that this wasn’t just a request for a simple dance.
She knew that this was it. The deciding moment. That if she said yes to this, she wouldn’t say no again for the rest of the night.
But maybe that had been true hours ago. Maybe from the moment she’d locked eyes with him, saying no had been an impossibility.
“Yes,” she said, the word torn from her, scraping her throat raw and leaving in its place a sweet, light relief. She had decided. Tonight she was going to embrace life, whatever that meant. “Yes, Alex, I want to dance.”
CHAPTER TWO
HE KISSED HER for the first time out on the dance floor. There were people all around them, the crush of bodies intense. And she let them push her into him, let them drive her against him so that she could feel the hard heat of his muscles against her chest.
When she was pressed against him, she looked up, angled her head toward his. She knew she was begging for it and she didn’t care. Because she needed this. More than air. It didn’t matter what happened tomorrow, or in the month leading up to her wedding, not if she didn’t survive this night.
And it felt like she might not if he didn’t touch her. If she couldn’t taste him.
But he didn’t make her beg for long.
He dipped his head and claimed her mouth, his tongue forcing her lips apart. She opened to him, took him in deep, kissed him until she was dizzy. There had never been a kiss like this. Not for her, maybe not for anyone. One that stole her every thought, her every worry. One that reduced her to nothing more than need, nothing more than a deep, physical ache that demanded satisfaction.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him, her body moving against his, no longer in rhythm with the music, but in rhythm with her own desire. She forked her fingers through his thick, curly hair, held him against her, poured all of herself, all of the desire that had been building in her for so many years, into a kiss that she shouldn’t be having. A kiss that was forbidden to her.
And that just made her angry. More determined to get what she needed tonight. What she would never have after tonight. This was her last chance.
A secret thrill. A secret bit of adventure. No one ever had to know.
“Come back to my hotel with me,” she said, against his mouth, unable to part from him for even a second.
He didn’t answer—he only kissed her again, and she realized there was no way he’d heard her, not over the music.
She pulled his head down and put her lips against his ear. “I have a hotel room. Come back with me.”
That was all the encouragement he needed. Faster than she could change gears, Alex was dragging her off the dance floor and out into the warm summer night. He paused outside the club door, pushed her against the wall and kissed her, the motion and the kiss savage, explosive. Perfect. She arched into him, rubbing her breasts against the hard wall of his chest, trying to find some satisfaction for the need that was tearing through her like a beast.
“Now,” she said, her eyes closed tight. “We have to go back now. I need... I can’t...”
“I agree.”
“It’s close. I think it’s close. I’m dizzy, actually. The city is sideways. It’s hard to tell where the hell we are.”
Alex laughed and pressed his forehead against hers. “I know exactly where the hell I am.”
“And where is that?”
“With you. I don’t need to know anything more.”
She exhaled sharply, tried to ignore the stab of emotion in her chest. This wasn’t supposed to make her feel. “Wow. You do say the best things. You really do.”
He took her hand. “Lead the way.”
She did. And somehow, right then, she felt more like herself than she ever had. Like the two halves of her life, the woman she was in public and the woman she was in private had merged together for the first time.
She felt brave. She felt certain.
She felt happy.
A whisper of who she’d been before she’d learned to shut herself down. Before the Colin debacle. And blackmail. Before she’d had to face her father and tell him what she’d done. And what the fallout from it might be.
I can’t protect you anymore, Rachel. These choices you’re making are dangerous. People, men, will always try to take advantage of you because of your connections, the press will always hunt you because of who you are, and you’re courting it. No more. If you keep on like this, I will not cover for you again. I love you too much to enable you this way.
And less kind words from her mother. A woman in your position can’t afford these mistakes. It’s not only immoral, it’s dangerous. Think of what the press will say. About you. Us. I haven’t spent all these years helping propel us to this position in society to watch you tear it down with stupid behavior!
Angry words spoken in private. A side of her mother only Rachel ever saw.
But she’d taken those words, balled them up and stored them in her chest, kept them close, ever since.
Except...except this moment.
But it was different. It was out of time, out of the real world entirely. And Alex didn’t even know who she was. He didn’t want to use her. Didn’t want to get her into a compromising position so he could sell photographs, or a dirty video.
Even Ajax, one of the kindest people she knew, wanted her for her name more than anything else.
But that wasn’t Alex. Alex just wanted her.
That simple thought pushed everything dark away from her mind. Everything in the past, everything in the future. There was just now. And now was perfect.
They started walking down the sidewalk, then they were running, laughing. She bent and kicked her shoes off, carrying them in her free hand as she ran barefoot down the stone walk.
They stopped in front of the hotel, the lights from the lobby casting a glow on Alex, on the fountains in front of the building. “Oh, yes,” she said, breathing heavily. “I’m in a nice hotel.”
“So you are.” He laughed, the sound reverberating through her body.
“Don’t feel awkward or anything.”
“I don’t,” he said.
Of course he wouldn’t. It was hard to imagine him feeling awkward anywhere. “Good. I need to know at least three more things about you before we go in, okay?”
“Depends. Are you going to do a credit check?”
“I swear not,” she said, “I won’t even fingerprint you. But...you’re a stranger, and I can’t have that.”
“Really? And what is it that will make me not a stranger?”
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, and when she opened them, Alex filled her visions. “Favorite color?”
“Don’t have one.”
“Come on. What color is your bedspread?”
He laughed. “Black.”
“Okay. How old are you?”
“Twenty-six,” he said.
“Oh.” For some reason the answer sent a little thrill through her. “Well, I’m twenty-eight, I hope that doesn’t deter you.”
“Not in the least,” he said. “I might, in fact, be more turned on now. If such a thing is possible.”
Her pulse kicked into a higher gear. “One more thing,” she said. “Would you rather...sleep under the stars, or in a beautiful suite?”
“Either. As long as you were with me. Preferably in a state of undress.”
The air rushed out of her lungs. “Well, that was the perfect answer.”
“Can we go in?”
“Yes,” she said, of course, since there was no way she was saying no now. “You aren’t a stranger now, so it’s all good.”
“I’m glad,” he said.
They went into the hotel and passed quickly through the lobby. She pushed the button and stood in front of the elevator, waiting, her nerves building as each second ticked by.
As soon as they were inside, as soon as the doors closed behind them, he pushed her back against the wall, his mouth hungry on hers, his hands roaming over her curves.
She could feel the hard press of his erection against her hip, could feel his arousal, not just there, but in every line of his body. The tense hold of his shoulders, the thundering of his heart, the urgency in his kiss.
She’d never in her wildest fantasies imagined herself here. Like this. With a man kissing her like he was starving for her. She never imagined she would be kissing a man as though she was starving for him, in truth.
Her past experiences included fizzy, alcohol-flavored kisses and heavy coercion. This wasn’t alcohol going to her head. Nor was it coerced. It wasn’t about rebelling against her neat and orderly life. It wasn’t about a sense of duty. It was about her.
They were at her floor not nearly fast enough and all too quickly. Any slower, she might have died—or he might have just taken her straight to heaven with her clothes on. She was close, so close, and she knew it.
She might not have ever considered herself overly passionate but she had a sex drive. And since Ajax was patiently waiting to take things to the next level, that meant she was an expert at satisfying that sex drive on her own.
Orgasm she knew. But having it entirely out of her control? That was a whole different matter. She’d given Colin pleasure, but he’d never really touched her. And anyway, that was eleven years ago, and the extent of her experience with men and any sort of nudity.
Now she was here, and Alex was definitely touching. And her pleasure was all in his control. It was both exhilarating and terrifying.
She walked out of the elevator into the hall, her legs shaking. She dug through her purse, trying to find the little key card she’d thrown in there earlier. Why had she been so careless? She hadn’t had this in mind, that’s for sure. She hadn’t known there would be urgency. She had all the urgency and no flipping key....
She scraped the bottom of her purse with her hand and came up with the card. “Oh, thank God,” she breathed. “That was sacrilege, wasn’t it?” she asked, looking back at Alex.
“Why?”
“Thanking God because I found the key so we could...well, this is fornication, isn’t it?”
“It will be in five minutes,” he said. “Right now it’s just lust.”
“Pretty powerful stuff.” She turned to the door and slid the key in the slot. The light turned green. “So, I guess we go in now.”
He stopped and touched her cheek with the tip of his finger, the gesture so tender it shocked her. “You’re very pretty when you’re nervous.”
Her face heated. “Well, that’s nice of you to say.”
His blue eyes locked with hers, so sincere, so focused. As if he could only see her, as if she was the only thing that mattered. No one had ever looked at her like that, not ever. “I mean it.”
She coughed, her throat suddenly tight with emotion. “Well...thank you. But I’m less nervous when you kiss me. Maybe we should go with that?”
He didn’t have to be asked twice.
He pulled her into the room and onto the bed. She was flat on her back, the mattress soft beneath her, Alex hard over her. She didn’t have time to be nervous. She was too turned on, too in the moment.
There was nothing boyish about him now. The humorous light in his eyes was gone, replaced with something dark, feral. Dangerous.
And she liked it.
“I will be slow the next time,” he said. “I promise. I like foreplay.” He rose up onto his knees and stripped off his shirt. “And there will be some. Next time. Next time, I promise.” Then he reached into his shorts pocket and took out his wallet, pulling out a condom and throwing the wallet down onto the floor, followed quickly by the rest of his clothes.
She didn’t have time to be nervous—she was too busy looking at him. He was incredible, so much more than she’d imagined a man might be.
And she wanted... She just wanted.
He tugged the top of her dress down, bared her to him, lowered his head and sucked one nipple deep in his mouth as he pushed her skirt up over her hips.
He hooked his fingers into the sides of her panties and tugged them down her legs, then drew back for a moment, opening the condom and rolling it on quickly before he positioned himself between her thighs.
He put his hand beneath her bottom and tilted her up to him as he thrust deep inside her. She winced against the pain, fighting the urge to make a sound. Because she didn’t want to ruin the moment. Even with the pain it was the most beautiful moment ever. The most exciting and wild thing that had ever happened to her.
It was perfect.
If he noticed, he had no reaction. And she was glad. Instead, he thrust deep inside of her, pushing them both higher and higher until she was gasping. Until she was fisting his hair, the sheets, whatever she could get hold of so she didn’t fly off the bed and shatter into a million pieces.
The pain faded quickly, every thrust pushing her closer to the point of release. But it wasn’t an easy push. It wasn’t a gentle journey to the peak. It was fire and thunder—her release almost ripped from her as it hit, suddenly and before she could take a chance to breathe.
She shuddered out her release, clinging to his shoulders, legs wrapped around his calves. She was sure her nails were biting into his skin, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t.
He went still above her, a hoarse sound on his lips as he found his own pleasure. And then he was up, moving away from her and into the bathroom.
She lay there on her back, her dress pulled down over her breasts and up past her hips, trying to catch her breath, hands over her eyes. “Oh, dear Lord, what have I done?”
He came back in, the condom managed, the look on his face grim. “Now, you should have told me that,” he said.
“Told you what?” she asked, sitting up and trying to put her dress in place. Though he didn’t seem concerned with his nudity at all.
“That you were a virgin.”
“Oh. That. Well. I could have told you. It’s just that...”
“Just that what?”
“I didn’t want to. How stupid is that?”
He walked over to the bed and took her left hand in his, holding it up so she was eye level with her engagement ring. “Whoever gave you this? He’s an idiot.”
* * *
Rachel came back to the present, her eyes on the ring, just like they’d been in that moment after her first time with Alex.
They’d been together at least four times in the hours since then. And he’d been telling the truth. He did like foreplay. Not only that, he was good at it. Darn good.
She put the ring back down, a smile curving her lips.
She sat up slowly, the muscles in her body complaining. Alex had given her a little bit more exercise than she was used to. That made her smile widen. Which was stupid, maybe, but she felt...different. Giddy. Alive.
Half in love.
She closed her eyes. No. She didn’t want that. That was such a stupid cliché. She didn’t actually know the man. She’d been naked with him, that was all.
Except it was easy to remember how it was to dance with him. How it felt to hold his hand as she walked barefoot down a city sidewalk. How she’d been different with him. More alive.
Happy.
So maybe it wasn’t so stupid that she felt half in love. It was scary, though. She’d been...not in love, but infatuated with a guy before, with hideous results. But that had been different. It felt like another lifetime. Like it had happened to another girl.
She’d changed over the past eleven years. In ways that were necessary, but in ways that had left her feeling like she was trapped in skin that had become far too small.
And sometime last night, she’d changed again.
She got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, taking care of early morning necessities and looking at herself in the mirror. She looked... Her hair was a wreck. She was pretty sure the dark mark on her neck was a hickey.
She smiled. She should not be enjoying this. But she was.
Real life could be dealt with later.
She pushed her hair back and walked out into the hotel room again, and stopped when she saw Alex’s wallet on the floor. It was open, from when he’d taken out the condom and thrown it onto the ground. After that incident, he’d procured protection from the concierge. Much to her chagrin.
Well, and delight, if she was completely honest. She’d absolutely benefitted from the acquisition of a box of condoms.
She bent down and picked his wallet up without thinking. It was an expensive wallet. Black leather with fine stitching. Like something her father, or Ajax, would own. Strange because his clothes were so worn. Because he worked on a boat.
Her eyes skimmed over to his ID. He had an American driver’s license. Which seemed odd. Because he was Greek, no question. Though, perhaps his employer was American.
Okay, snoopy. Not really your business.
And it wasn’t. They weren’t trading life stories so it wasn’t really fair for her to be looking at his personal property.
Before she could snap the wallet shut and put it on the table, she read his name. Not on purpose. But she saw it, and then all she could do was stare.
She knew his name.
And for a full thirty seconds, she didn’t know from where.
Alexios Christofides.
She heard the name in Ajax’s voice. A growl, a curse. He’d been nettling Ajax for months. Buying shares in his business, reporting him to the IRS for suspected tax wrongdoing, reporting him to environmental agencies. All false accusations, but things that had cost time and money.
He wasn’t a cabin boy, that was for sure.
And he wasn’t a stranger.
She’d been seduced by her fiancé’s enemy.
She thought the floor might shift beneath her feet and fall out from beneath her like sand, dropping her back into the past, in a moment so close to this one it made her want to scream.
Colin, so angry over her refusal to sleep with him, revealing who he really was. What he really wanted from her.
If you don’t want to put out, that’s fine. But I have all those nice pictures of you. A very compelling video. Of what you did for me. I don’t need sex. A little money from the media will be even nicer.
She’d thought she was smarter. More protected. Different.
She was the same foolish girl she’d always been. Worse, even, because this time the villain had succeeded in his seduction. He’d more than succeeded.
What she’d done with him...what she’d let him do to her...
“Alexios?”
The man in her bed stirred and Rachel tried not to pass out. Tried not to vomit. Or run screaming from the room.
She had to know what had happened. She had to know if he knew who she was.
Of course he does. Like he’s here by accident? You can only be a naive fool to a certain point, moron.
“Alexios,” she said his name again and he sat up, a wicked smile curving his face. When he actually looked at her, the smile faded.
As if he knew, even half asleep, that he wasn’t waking to the postcoital scene he was hoping to be a part of. As if he knew that his response to the name had been wrong.
He’d probably already forgotten which woman he’d been in bed with. Which hotel.
That made her want to be violently ill. Or just violent.
But for the moment, she had to stay calm. She had to get answers.
“Rachel,” he said, his voice as strong as whiskey and good sex, going straight to her head and making her toes curl. “You should come back to bed.”
“I don’t... No.” She put her hand on her forehead. “Not right now. I...”
His eyes met with her hands. Where her fingers held his wallet. He looked back up at her, one black brow arched. Something in his manner changed. In an instant, he changed.
He pushed his dark curls off of his forehead and for a second she thought she was looking at a stranger. A naked stranger.
Then she realized that was what he was. She didn’t know this man. Not at all. She’d fooled herself into thinking they’d shared something. That their souls had met, or some such idiocy. But they hadn’t.
It only underlined her stupidity. Her weakness.
Last night, she’d felt like herself. Freed from all the layers of protection and expectation. Somehow slipped free of those well-meaning, soul-binding words spoken by her parents all those years ago. She’d felt real. Well, real Rachel was, it turned out, incredibly stupid. There was a reason she’d been kept in hiding.
“You know who I am, don’t you?” she asked.
He stood, the covers falling from around his waist, his body, his beautiful hard body, on display for her. And even now it made her heart leap into her throat. Like it was trying to climb out so it could get a look at the view.
“Why were you looking at my wallet?”
“It was on the floor. I picked it up. I thought, ‘nice wallet for a cabin boy.’ Clearly far too nice. So now you might as well tell me the truth.”
“I know who you are,” he said. “Imagine my surprise when you found me before I could find you. Imagine my further surprise when I realized I didn’t need a week or a special event to seduce you. You were a lot easier than I expected.”
“To what end?” she asked, her heart thundering, her hands shaking. “Why would you... Why...?”
“Because I want what he has. Everything. And I’ve had something very special to him now. Now we both know I’ve had you first.”
“You bastard,” she said, scouring the room for her clothes. “You...! This is my hotel room.” She stopped collecting her clothes and started getting his instead. “Get your clothes and get out.” She threw his shorts at him, then his shirt. “Out!”
He started dressing. “I don’t know who you think your fiancé is, but I know who he is.”
“And I know who you are! A... A... I can’t even think of a bad enough word for what you are. And you’re no kind of man.”
“You and I both know I am.”
“The ability to trick a woman into letting you put your hard penis inside of her does not make you a man!”
“Did I trick you? Or did I, like you, not tell you everything. I hardly forced you into bed.”
No, he hadn’t. And that meant it was her fault. Her stupid, stupid fault.
“But you...seduced me knowing that you would ruin my engagement. With the express intent of doing it!”
“And you thought my seducing you would leave it intact? Is that it? Or are you just pissed because I planned it?”
“Yes! I am pissed that you planned it. I thought we had something... I thought...” Her throat closed off, emotion, anger choking our her words.
“Such a virgin, Rachel,” he said, his tone dry.
“No, I’m not, and I think we both know it. Because of you!” And even before that she’d lacked innocence. Which meant she should have known, she did know. But he’d made her forget.
“Because of you, agape,” he said, tugging his slacks up and doing the button. “You made your choice. Don’t be angry with me because I outed you as being faithless.”
Before she could measure her response, his wallet was sailing out of her hands, skimming his ear, hitting the wall behind him. “Out!” she screamed.
She had just destroyed her engagement. The future of her family’s company. All for sex. Sex with a man who’d been using her. Tricking her. Trying to hurt Ajax...
Ajax, who hadn’t deserved this treatment at all. Who cared for her. And her father... After all he’d done for her...
She pressed her palms into her eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Out. Out. Out,” she said.
“Rachel...”
“You ruined my life!” she screamed, flinging her arms wide. “I thought you were different. I thought you made me...feel something and you were just lying. I blew up my life for you and it was a lie!”