Found: A Mother for His Son

Max gave his head an affirmative nod. “Works for me, big guy.”

Five minutes later, Dermott waved from the front stoop of his three-story red-brick building as Frank Allen drove away with Max. Frank and Irene adored the boy and, while they were Nancy’s parents, they were the only ones he trusted with his son. They were good people. Good for Max. Surprisingly, good for him too. Perhaps because they’d seen some of the problems their daughter had, and understood some of the abuses she’d inflicted. Some, not all. The rest were Dermott’s secrets to keep. Why hurt innocent people any deeper than they already hurt?

Dermott watched until Frank’s truck disappeared around the corner, then returned to his office. Even though he practiced only about five hours a day right now, that seemed too much. Especially on a day after one of Max’s nightmares, like today. Those were especially rough, the times when he wanted to be with his son, to hold him a little closer, a little longer.

But what he wanted wasn’t always what he got.

Fort Dyott was larger than Jenna had expected. For some reason, she’d pictured a wide spot in the road, but there were several roads, actually. More than she could see in any direction. And there were shops, houses, churches, a movie theater—pretty much all the same things she was used to in Calgary, but on a smaller scale. By the time she’d reached Dermott’s building, she’d decided she liked the looks of Fort Dyott. The people strolling up and down the streets appeared friendly. The streets were, indeed, tree-lined, and so far she’d come across two parks.

In fact, if she’d had a family to raise, this would have been an ideal place in which to do it. High praise, from a thirty-yearold who’d never imagined herself raising a family. Family implied direction and permanence and so far she’d successfully avoided that. Yet, if having a husband and children had been something she’d wanted to do, this would have been the right place in which to do it.

Fort Dyott seemed a nice little town with all the amenities, like where she’d been raised along the southern Alberta border. It was perfect here. Or would be perfect for a little while, until she got herself too involved and had to leave.

So maybe her brash, rash and otherwise impulsive decision to come here on Dermott’s lukewarm invitation would turn out to be a good move after all. “No expectations,” Jenna whispered, as she climbed out of her car and stared up at the old building. “Don’t have expectations about this, and nothing will hurt you.” That was a lesson she’d tried so hard to take to heart in the past, and always seemed to fail. No matter how hard she fought against them, expectations always found their way in, then ended up disappointing her.

Well, not this time! She knew what she was getting with Dermott. Or most of what she was getting. And hormones aside, she didn’t need any more problems than she already had. Not even Dermott’s problems, which did worry her. But she wasn’t getting involved. Wasn’t asking. Wasn’t listening. Wasn’t lending a shoulder or any other part of her body for anything. No causes, no crusades. No nothing, except work.

“So, just do it. Go up the steps and start over, Jenna.” Easier said than done as those eight steps up to the front door were some of the longest, slowest steps she’d taken in a while. Of the three phone calls she’d had with Dermott since she’d chased him down the street and accepted his offer, only one had been even marginally friendly. And she wasn’t sure that it was friendly so much as Dermott being relieved that she wasn’t calling to change her mind about the job. Whatever had happened to him these past years wasn’t good, and maybe that’s what she dreaded the most—coming face to face with the thing that had sucked the spirit right out of one of the brightest, most lively people she’d ever met.

“But he’s not the reason you’re here,” she lied to herself, as she laid her hand on the old glass doorknob, bit down hard on her bottom lip, and turned the handle. “It’s about the job. That’s all. Just the job.” Easy to say, but not easy to believe, and that’s what frightened her. She could lie to herself all she wanted, but the lie wouldn’t even hold up to a gentle breeze. Who was she kidding? All the firmest resolutions aside, she was here for Dermott. But as a friend? Or more?

Right now, she would fight, tooth and nail, to tell herself she was here just as a friend, and hope the other possibility didn’t seep in. Although, even admitting there was another possibility gave her a deep-down queasy feeling right in the pit of her stomach. “Don’t want that, don’t want that…” she said, gritting her teeth. “Do not want that.”

That was good. Now all she had to do was tell herself she was here for…For what? Peace of mind? Change of career direction? Simpler lifestyle? All good reasons, she decided. Good, and interchangeable. If she embraced her reasons hard enough, she’d believe them. Wouldn’t she?

He’s the reason you’re here.

Damn it! Why couldn’t she fool herself even for a moment?

Simple answer. She was here for Dermott, which scared her to death. So, she had two choices. Admit it, deal with it and, of course, not act on it. Or go and find another job somewhere else.

“You should have thought it over better,” she admonished herself as she stood there, staring up at the building, wondering what would greet her on the other side of the door. Stupid thoughts! On the other side of that door were people who needed her. And a doctor who needed a nurse. If she could keep that in mind, she’d be good. “One step at a time, Jenna,” she whispered, finally pushing open the door.

Jenna took her first step inside, plastering a perky smile to her face, ready to greet the patients as she walked through the waiting room for her first time, but after that one step her smile disappeared. The place was totally empty, the doorbell was jingling its merry tune to a completely hollow room. There wasn’t even a waiting-room television tuned to an annoying cartoon channel blaring away. It didn’t seem right, didn’t seem normal, especially when Dermott was the only doctor in town.

“Hello,” she called out tentatively, wondering if she should head down the hall to the exam rooms, or go back to her car, leave town and see if that clinic she’d passed in Muledeer a couple of hours ago needed a nurse. “Anybody here?”

There were noises above her, voices she thought, but she couldn’t make them out. “Hello,” she called, a little louder this time.

Again, no response.

“Dermott?” she called. “Dr. Callahan, are you here?” Her voice practically echoed, the place was so empty. “It’s Jenna. I’m here.”

Suddenly, there was a pounding on the stairs behind her, and before she could turn around to see who it was, a little boy practically threw himself at her feet.

“You must be the lady,” he said, assuming a tough-guy posture—arms folded across his chest, face in a deadly serious, deadly cute scowl.

“And you must be Dr. Dermott Callahan,” Jenna replied, fighting back a smile.

“Am not,” he insisted.

“But that’s the name on the door.” To prove her point, she returned to the door, and showed the backwards outline of Dermott’s name there. “See? It says ‘Dr. Dermott Callahan, Family Practitioner’. So that means you must be Dr. Callahan.” Pretty little boy, if boys could be called pretty. Lots of curly blond hair. Blue eyes. Beautiful eyes exactly like…Dermott’s.

Dermott had a son? Why hadn’t he mentioned it? “So, you are the doctor, aren’t you?” she continued.

The little boy shook his head. “That’s the big guy, he’s the doctor. I just help out here when he needs me ’cos I’m too little to be a real doctor.”

The child was just making her feel all warm and comfy inside, he was so adorable. “The big guy? Who’s that?”

“He’s my…” He scrunched his face a moment, thinking. “He’s my big guy, and he’s upstairs, getting the apartment ready for you. It has spiders, and I’ll bet you hate spiders.”

So Dermott was getting ready to stash her in a room with spiders. No romantic intentions there, which was a good thing. “So tell me, Dr. Dermott’s son, what’s your real name?”

“Dermott Maxwell Callahan.” He nodded affirmatively, then added, “Junior.”

“But you’re not a doctor, Dermott Maxwell Callahan, Junior?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Call me Max. I’m going to be like Grandpa Frank when I grow up, and live on a ranch.”

It was sounding like Dermott was part of a whole family system here. Ex-wife somewhere, child very much present, and parents or in-laws on a ranch. Tidy arrangement. One she almost envied. “I lived on a ranch for a little while when I was a girl. My grandfather’s still there. He raises horses.” They’d bred show horses, and a few that made it to the races. Riding those horses, and helping her grandfather…that’s where she’d learned that life could be good. That’s where she’d also learned to be afraid of too much of a good thing because good things didn’t always last long enough.

“Can I ride one of his horses? All by myself? The big guy won’t let me ride by myself. Neither will Grandpa Frank. But I promise I won’t fall off.”

“My grandfather has some pretty strict rules, too.” Rules she should have obeyed, but hadn’t. Rules she often wished she had obeyed, but didn’t someone once say that you can’t go home again? “You have to be at least this high before you can ride all by yourself.” Jenna gestured a height that was a good two heads taller than Max. “But after you grow some, you come back and see me and we’ll talk.”

Max’s response was a thumbs-up sign, and a big grin that made Jenna grin right along with him. What a great little boy! How in the world could Dermott be so solemn and sad with someone like Max in his life? In some ways, Max reminded her of the way Dermott used to be. All smiles and optimism and enough charm to conquer the world. “Mind if I go find your father?”

Max pointed to the ceiling, as he scurried down a hallway leading away from the clinic. Jenna looked up, realizing he must have meant that Dermott was upstairs somewhere. So she climbed the first flight only to find herself standing on the threshold of what seemed to be a very nice apartment. No spiders visible, though, which meant she was probably one floor up from there. Next flight up she stopped at a spacious, surprisingly nice third-floor flat. And while she didn’t exactly see the spiders, thanks to Max’s suggestion, she did feel them. Figuratively speaking, of course.

“Dermott,” she called out.

“Jenna?” He poked his head out from behind a stack of boxes. “I didn’t expect you until tomorrow.”

“I got an early start,” she said, surveying what was going to be her home. “There was nothing to keep me in Calgary.”

“It’s better than it looks.” Dermott laughed, stepping out into full view, wiping his dirty hands on the back of his jeans. “The apartment…it has what real estate agents would call potential.”

She’d thought the same thing about Dermott, once upon a time.

“Although I think the potential might have been a little cleaner tomorrow,” he continued.

Even in the dark, covered with cobwebs, Dermott was gorgeous. But he was divorced, or in the middle of a divorce, she had to remind herself. All looking, no touching. That was the rule. But, dear lord, he was good to look at. She’d always admired that about him. Couldn’t help herself then, couldn’t help herself now.

It was a brief admiring look, she told herself. Just a tiny little one that didn’t count. One quick glance and it was out of her mind. Gone. Vanished. Poof! “But I don’t have to pay extra for the spiders, do I?”

He chuckled. “You must have met Max. He’s a little obsessed with the eight-legged creatures right now but, I promise you, there are no spiders here.”

“Cute little boy. Smart.”

“Thanks. I’m a little partial, but I think so, too.”

“You never mentioned him when we talked. Why’s that?”

“I don’t generally. Max and I keep to ourselves most of the time. We, um…we keep our lives pretty private, pretty simple.”

Well, this was awkward. No two ways about it, she’d stumbled into a situation where she wasn’t wanted, and from there she didn’t know which way to go. So she didn’t. She kept quiet, stood still and waited for Dermott to make the next move.

Which he did after he’d felt the long, sticky pause between them. “OK, let’s just get this out of the way,” he said, before the next second of awkward time had passed between them. “I’m a widower. Almost five months now.”

“Oh, Dermott! I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. It must have been so difficult for you and Max. And he’s so young. Have you two—?”

Dermott shook his head, effectively cutting her off. “I never, ever talk about it around Max. Nobody else does either. Understood?”

He’d just put her in her place, good and proper. That’s what she understood. Another thing she understood was that this was not the same man she’d nearly loved all those years ago. He was gone and in his place stood someone she wasn’t sure she even liked very much. The old Dermott had been kind and open. This one was cold, and evasive. The old Dermott had been very generous with the truth. This one withheld it.

Yes, that’s what she understood, and it’s also what she had to remember. They’d both changed. Times were different. It was probably for the best because now she could put aside all those silly notions and memories.

But, darn, he was still gorgeous. That hadn’t changed.

CHAPTER TWO

WELL, it wasn’t a grand welcome, yet here she was, five hours after arrival, making plans. Real plans. New curtains, a coat of yellow paint in the kitchen to brighten it up, a nice floor lamp and an overstuffed chair. Just like she had a right to make plans here. But she couldn’t help it. For once, she so wanted something to work out, wanted her roots to plant themselves deep enough to keep her here for a while.

For someone who’d promised herself no expectations, she sure had developed her fair share awfully quickly. It was a worry, but right now she didn’t want to think about it. She had throw rugs on her mind, and pictures for the walls. Nice things she didn’t usually allow herself.

Because she was tired. That’s what she was telling herself. She was a little out of kilter because she was tired. She’d had a long trip getting here, lots of jitters over her decision, and even more jitters over seeing Dermott again. Put them all together and they resulted in silly thoughts. Tomorrow she’d be rested, and thinking straight again. Yes, her resolve would be back where it should be, and her life would get back on the track she’d designated.

At least, that’s what she was telling herself now. In the meantime, she was undecided about what clothes to unpack for the night, and what to leave alone. Staring into her open suitcases, Jenna was on the verge of simply shutting the lids and letting it all go until tomorrow when a buzzer from the first floor sounded. One buzz, then a couple more frantic buzzes coming from the clinic door. An emergency? The clinic had been empty all afternoon, but now somebody was in need, when Dermott wasn’t here?

Dashing down the rest of the stairs, Jenna ran straight to the door, then opened it, to be greeted by a big man with a small, bloody towel wrapped around his arm. “Saw Doc and Max having ice cream downtown, and didn’t want to bother them. But I heard he had a new nurse working here, so I figured I could let you have a look at this.” With that, he held out his arm, but didn’t remove the bloody towel.

“I can call Dermott. He gave me his cellphone number, and—”

“No, ma’am. That won’t be necessary. It’s just a little scratch, and it would be a shame to interrupt his time with the boy just to take care of it. You are the new nurse, aren’t you?”

Jenna nodded. The new nurse who was a little perplexed by this.

“Then it’s you I’m here to see.” That said, and quite emphatically, he stepped all the way inside and shut the front door behind him. “No sense in driving all the way over to Muledeer for the doc over there to take care of this when you can do it. It’s a good two hours away, and I’d just as soon get this patched up here and get on home and go to bed.”

Muledeer? Why would he drive all the way there when Dermott was right here? That made no sense at all. “What happened to you arm, Mr….?”

“Wilkerson. Isaiah Wilkerson. And I’d extend a hand to greet you, ma’am, but I put my shaking hand through a plateglass window about fifteen minutes ago. Tripped myself going up a ladder to hang a picture, and used the window to break my fall.” He finally unwrapped the towel, showing Jenna what turned out to be a pretty nasty gash. One that would need stitches, and maybe a whole lot more, depending on the extent of any tissue damage he’d caused himself.

“Are you light-headed, feeling nauseated, woozy, Mr. Wilkerson?”

“Only when I look at the blood, ma’am.” He did look down at his arm, then turned his head away.

“Are you here by yourself? Or did someone else drive you?”

“By myself. My wife’s off visiting her sister tonight, and instead of bothering her to come bring me here, I drove myself. I am feeling a little tired, though. It’s…coming on me right now. A…groggy…feeling…”

So was the deathly pallor washing down over his face. His speech was slowing and slurring, too, and Jenna knew this great hulk of a man was about to go out on her. “Look, let’s get you to the exam room, where you can lie down.” She hadn’t even seen the exam rooms yet. “After that we’ll figure out what needs to be done.”

“Appreciate that, ma’am.” He sighed heavily, struggling to keep himself upright.

“Jenna,” she said, grasping him tightly around the waist as his knees started to dip. “Any man I have to carry like this gets to call me by my first name.”

“Jenna,” he said, straining to stay upright now. “Pretty name. Got a daughter…name’s Jennifer. Is Jenna short for…?”

The interminably long trip down the hall to the exam rooms ended at the first room, where Jenna pushed open the door with her foot and was thankful to see an exam table not more than five steps ahead of her. Mr. Wilkerson had turned into deadweight, and while Jenna was up to hefting a pretty large man, Isaiah Wilkerson was larger than the average, and every bit of him was rock-hard muscle. “It’s Jenna. Jenna Joann Lawson.”

“Pleased to…make…your acquaintance, Jenna,” Isaiah grunted as he dropped down onto the hard surface of the exam table and immediately plopped down onto his back.

Jenna sprang around the table to crank up the head, then she turned on the overhead light. “Look, I really need to call the doctor,” she told him as she scurried to assess the various medical supplies in the room. It was a nice, tidy little exam room. The equipment was outdated, but still very functional, and it put her in the mind of something from the 1960s. It probably was, come to think of it. Dermott had, most likely, acquired the practice, as well as the equipment, from its original owner. Wooden exam table, not chrome or steel. Wooden cabinet. Old-fashioned sink. Overall, it had a nice, homey feel to it, and she liked it.

“No doctor! Like I told you before, I don’t want…to interrupt him when he’s out with the boy. They need…their time together,” Isaiah said, his voice growing weaker. “If you think I need a doctor…all that bad, I’ll drive myself…over to Muledeer.”

Now, that was just plain crazy. “You won’t make it to Muledeer,” she said, laying a gentle hand on the man’s shoulder as he tried to sit up. “You won’t even make it to the front door.”

“I’m the patient here. Don’t I have…some rights? Some say…in who treats me?” His voice finally trailed off to a whisper and Jenna took his pulse to make sure nothing besides the obvious was going on. It was strong. His respirations were good, too. A little shallow, but not alarmingly so.

And, yes, he did have a say in who treated him. But in his current condition, in a one-doctor town, those rights didn’t mean much. “Look, Isaiah, the first thing I need you to do is trust me. OK? You’ve lost a lot of blood and I don’t want you passing out, but that’s what’s going to happen if you don’t take it easy. So lie back, close your eyes, concentrate on breathing, and I’ll take a good look at your cut. If I can treat it, I will. But if it requires a doctor…”

“Do your…best…Don’t interrupt…”

“I know. Don’t interrupt Dr. Callahan.” Stubborn, stubborn man. Well, she’d just have to be more stubborn than he was. “Like I said, trust me, Isaiah.” She completely removed the towel from his arm. “I’ve been a nurse for quite a while now, and I know what I’m doing.”

She also knew his cut was so deep that it required stitches. Which she could do, but wouldn’t. It wasn’t her place since the doctor was only a few blocks away. “Isaiah, I want you to rest here for a few minutes, will you? Since I’m new, I don’t know where the supplies are, and I’ve got to go on a little hunt for a few items. You’re not bleeding right now, so I want you to stay still. And relax.” He needed a sedative, and a painkiller, which she couldn’t prescribe, so that gave her even more cause to call Dermott. Even if it was against her patient’s will.

“I’m not going to lose my arm, or anything like that, am I?” he choked out.

“Good heavens, no. You’re going to get some stitches, but that’s about the worst of it.” As a precaution, before she left the room, Jenna took his blood pressure, and wasn’t surprised that it was low, but not critically. With all his bleeding, hypotension was bound to happen. “Just rest. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said, then ducked out of the exam room.

One her way to find a supply closet, she dialed Dermott’s phone. It rang twice, and when he picked up, rather than saying hello, he led off with, “Care to join us for ice cream? Wasn’t peppermint your favorite flavor?”

He remembered that? Had he ever even seen her eat ice cream?

“Dermott, I’m with Isaiah Wilkerson. He put his hand through a window, and he doesn’t want me calling you.”

Dermott cleared his throat. “How bad is it?”

“Not critical, but pretty bad. He has a four-inch gash in his right forearm, about three inches above his wrist, that will need stitches. And he’s threatening to go to a doctor in Muledeer if I call you in to take care of him. I mean, he really doesn’t want you.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, but don’t tell him I’m coming because he absolutely will walk out if there’s any way he can do it. And in the meantime, go ahead and stick in an IV for me. He probably needs his fluid volume pumped up some. Use Ringer’s for now, since he’s been bleeding, and add about 5 of Valium to relax him…and keep him down on the table. IV bags are in the gray supply cabinet, top shelf. The Valium is in the locked medicine cabinet in my office. The key is in my office wall safe, and the combination is…” He paused for a moment, then went on, “Eleven-fourteen. And if you have time, get him cleaned up and prepped for me. Isaiah’s a big complainer, by the way.” He chuckled. “Nice man, but squeamish when it comes to doctors.”

Eleven-fourteen. That was her birthday. November fourteenth. Maybe he’d known about her ice cream preferences, but surely this was a coincidence. Dermott couldn’t have known when her birthday was. Could he? She thought about it for a moment, and shook off the notion of it being anything more than a coincidence. His safe combination was merely happenstance. That’s all!

Ten minutes later, true to his word, Dermott was there, standing in the hall outside the exam room, looking in while Jenna finished anchoring the IV and injecting the Valium into it. Before he could speak, Jenna raised her finger to her lips, warning him to be quiet. Then she gestured to the furthest end of the hall for their rendezvous, and met him there a minute later, after she’d put an extra sheet over her patient. “Bleeding’s stopped, blood pressure’s low—ninety over sixty-five—pulse and respirations normal. And the last thing he told me before he nodded off was that I was not to call you. So, what’s that all about, Dermott? He claimed he didn’t want to interrupt you from having ice cream with Max, which might be true, except he threatened to drive for two hours to find another doctor, and that’s just absurd.”