To Have And To Hold

‘I haven’t seen you for more than two years; it would take ages to tell you everything.’

‘Well, we have plenty of time. Tell me about college.’

So Alix told him, leaning against his arm, her voice and face animated as she recounted experiences and anecdotes, gratified to have his interest, inwardly bursting with pleasure to be near him.

‘And did you make lots of friends?’ he asked her.

‘Oh, yes, loads. Some I see quite often because they work in London, too. And we’re all determined to have a big reunion for our whole year in July.’

‘Males as well as females?’

‘Of course.

‘And didn’t any of the men at college take your fancy?’

Again she gave him an impish look. ‘No, it’s OK, Rhys, you don’t have to be jealous.’

‘There wasn’t even one man who interested you?’

She shook her head with certainty. ‘No, not even one.’

‘You’re incorrigible,’ he grinned.

Alix smiled back at him and moved closer, her eyes drinking him in. After two years he had changed little, although a line at the corner of his mouth seemed to have deepened. She put up a finger to touch it. ‘You’re starting to get a cynical line here,’ she said reprovingly.

‘It’s old age,’ he said flippantly.

‘Not experience?’

‘Experience?’ He raised an eyebrow at the note in her voice.

‘Of women.’ And she lifted candid blue eyes to meet his.

Rhys’s eyes narrowed. ‘What’s this—office gossip?’

‘Yes,’ Alix answered, unable to be anything but truthful with him.

She waited for him to deny it, but he merely sat back and said, ‘What have you heard?’

‘That women fall over you wherever you go.’

‘What?’ He gave a crack of surprised laughter. ‘You surely don’t believe that rubbish, do you?’

‘Why not? I think you’re fantastic so why shouldn’t other girls?’

‘Well, it isn’t true.’

Alix tilted her head to one side to look at him, all wide-eyed innocence. ‘You mean you don’t go out with other girls when you’re away?’

There was a slightly considering look in the grey eyes that met hers, but then Rhys grinned. ‘Somehow I don’t think you’d believe it if I said I didn’t.’

‘Of course I wouldn’t,’ she answered. ‘It wasn’t only economics I learned at college, you know. I understand that men have to—gain experience of life.’

‘Such worldly wisdom in one so young,’ Rhys mocked, making her blush and punch his arm.

‘You know what I mean,’ she scolded.

He smiled down at her, a look of tender affection in his eyes. ‘Yes, urchin, I know what you mean. And have you gained some experience of life?’

The colour in her cheeks deepened. ‘No. It’s different for girls.’

‘Not all girls.’

‘Perhaps not,’ she admitted. ‘But it’s different for me—because of you.’

Rhys gave a gasping sigh. ‘Alix! You shouldn’t do this! You’re putting too much onus on me.’

She gave him a steady, earnest look. ‘Do you want to marry someone else, Rhys?’

‘No, but——

‘Not Donna Temple?’

His brows drew into a frown. ‘Who told you about her?’

‘Everyone knows about you and her. Do you want to marry her, Rhys?’

The frown deepened for a moment, then cleared, and there was a definite note in his voice as he said, ‘No, I don’t.’

‘Or anyone else?’

Amusement was coming back into his eyes. ‘Or anyone else,’ he agreed.

Alix gave a smile of pure happiness. ‘So that’s OK.’

‘Is it?’

‘Of course. You promised to marry me over sixteen years ago, and I’m going to hold you to it. Besides, if you don’t want to marry anyone else, then you might as well marry me. Everyone thinks it’s about time you settled down.’

‘“Everyone” being my parents, I take it?’ he guessed shrewdly.

‘And me.’

‘But what if you meet someone else and fall in love?’

She shook her head in absolute certainty. ‘I won’t. I’m in love with you.’

That made Rhys frown again. ‘And what if I meet someone and fall in love with her?’

Alix gazed at him for a moment, then let a mock-savage look come into her face. Stretching her hands like claws, she said, ‘Then I’ll tear her eyes out and scratch her to pieces. I’ll boil her in oil and grind her bones to dust.’

‘Ugh! Nasty.’ Rhys shook his head as if in horror, but there was amusement in his face. ‘I take it you’d be jealous?’

‘Of course I would.’ She grew suddenly serious. ‘You remember the last time we saw each other, when I was eighteen?’ He nodded. ‘Do you remember what you said then?’

Rhys gave her a wary look. ‘No, but I’ve a feeling it was probably something as unwise as that incautious answer I gave to a four-year-old imp who pushed her way into my garden—and my life.’

She smiled, liking that, and leaned towards him so that he put his arm round her. ‘I wanted you to marry me, then—when I was eighteen, I mean, but you said I’d got to wait until I was no longer a teenager and ask you again. Well, I’m not a teenager any longer, Rhys.’

He pursed his lips, sighed and nodded. ‘I was right; it was an unwise thing to say.’

‘But you did say it.’

‘So I did.’

She looked up at him, her eyes soft and radiant as stars. ‘So will you marry me, Rhys?’

For a long moment he didn’t speak, then bent to lightly kiss her parted lips. ‘You’re very special to me, Alix—but when I want to marry a girl, I’ll do the asking.’

Alix sat back, deep disappointment in her eyes, but then she frowned and said, ‘Well, I must say you’re taking a hell of a long time about it. A girl could die of frustration waiting for you to come home, you know.’

Which unexpected riposte made him give a crack of laughter and completely eased the situation again. His arm was still round her and he gave her a spontaneous hug. ‘Urchin, you are something else.’

Which she rightly took as a great compliment. Wisely, then, she changed the subject, asking him about Australia, which lasted until they reached their village.

‘Can you drop me off outside your house and I’ll walk round to mine?’

‘Don’t you want to go through the gate?’

Alix shook her head. ‘No, your parents will want you to themselves for a couple of hours.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Only a couple of hours?’

She grinned mischievously. ‘We’re all having dinner together at my place.’

Rhys gave a mock groan but leaned forward to tell the driver to stop. ‘I might have known. What else have they got lined up for me?’

‘Well, there’s the welcome home party, and your grandparents are coming to visit, and then——’

Rhys raised his hands in protest. ‘Enough! Enough. I can’t take any more.’

‘Well, it’s your own fault,’ Alix pointed out prosaically. ‘You shouldn’t be such a lovable hunk.’

‘“A lovable hunk”!’ Rhys gave her an outraged look. ‘I’ve been called some things in my time, but that…Get out of the car, woman; I’ll see you later.’

Alix did so with a chuckle, and walked home whistling; for the first time Rhys had called her woman instead of urchin, which to her mind was a tremendous step in the right direction.

He was home that time for over six weeks, and to Alix it was wonderful because she saw him not only when he came to Kent, but often in London, too. He drove her back to the office on Monday morning, using his own car this time, but she didn’t see him for the rest of the day. Her own office seemed to be extra busy all that morning as several members of staff seemed to visit it for little reason. One of them was Donna Temple. She had her dark hair down today, sleekly combed behind her ears and turning up at the ends. And she was wearing a dress that would have cost a whole month of Alix’s salary, but which was well worth the money, the way it stressed the length of Donna’s legs and curved in to show the narrowness of her waist. Alix was smartly and neatly dressed, but she hadn’t yet found her own style, and she knew a moment of envy for the older girl’s sophistication.

Donna’s eyes swept over Alix when she came into the room, but she talked for several minutes to one of the men about some papers she had with her, and turned to go before apparently noticing Alix and coming over to pause by her desk.

‘You must be Alix North, Rhys’s little neighbour. Right?’

The other girl’s voice was all sweetness but Alix could recognise a put-down when she heard one. ‘That’s right. And you are…?’

‘Donna Temple.’

‘Oh, yes, Rhys’s little…’ She didn’t finish the sentence, just let it hang in the air. Behind her Kathy smothered an over-awed giggle, and the smile on Donna’s face changed, became fixed.

‘Perhaps you were going to say friend,’ Donna said curtly, breaking the silence. ‘I am a friend of his, yes. I suppose he told you about me?’

Alix shook her head. ‘No, he didn’t mention you.’

‘Well, he will. How are you getting on here?’ Donna asked, abruptly changing the subject.

‘Very well, thank you,’ Alix answered warily.

But it seemed that the older girl wanted to be friends because she gave a gracious smile and said, ‘Well, if you have any problems, just let me know. Rhys wants you to get on in the firm and I’d be happy to help.’

‘Thanks,’ Alix answered. ‘But I think I can manage on my own. And I don’t have any problems.’

The older girl nodded and walked out of the room, all eyes following her.

‘Phew!’ Kathy exclaimed. ‘I rather think our Donna wants you on her side. Probably hopes to get to Rhys’s parents through you.’

‘If Rhys had wanted her to meet his parents he would have taken her down before now. Anyway, he isn’t interested in marrying her,’ Alix said with certainty.

‘No?’ Kathy’s eyes grew round. ‘How do you know? Did he tell you?’

Belatedly remembering Kathy’s love of gossip, Alix thought she’d better be more circumspect, so said, truthfully, ‘I was with him most of the weekend and he didn’t mention Donna once.’

‘Really? How come you were with him?’

‘Our parents are the closest friends. We all had dinner together at my house, then his parents gave an open-house party for him on Saturday; one of those whole day things where people come and go the whole time. I was helping with the food and everything.’

‘You are so lucky, Alix,’ Kathy said soulfully. ‘How about inviting me down one weekend when Rhys is there?’ But then she said, ‘Donna must have been really curious about you, just like all the other people who’ve been wandering in here today.’

For a day or so people continued to be curious about her, but it all died down when Rhys didn’t come into the office again. Alix didn’t see him for a few days, but then he phoned her at home one evening. ‘How about lunch tomorrow?’

‘Of course,’ Alix agreed immediately, shelving a shopping hour with Kathy without hesitation. ‘Where and when?’

‘Meet you in the foyer at one. See you, urchin.’

Alix hadn’t expected him to meet her in the building, hadn’t expected him to take her out in London, if it came to that. Next day she wore a new outfit and was there early, eager to see him as always. But Rhys was a few minutes late, and when he came out of the lift Donna was with him.

The other girl had a possessive hand on his arm and was laughing up at him. Alix felt a harsh rip of jealousy, that was instantly gone as Rhys said, ‘Excuse me, Donna. I have a date. ‘Bye.’ And he smilingly walked over to Alix and kissed her lightly. ‘Hello, little one.’

‘Hi.’ She dropped her voice. ‘Am I being used?’

His eyes immediately filled with laughter. ‘You could say that.’

‘It’s going to cost you a really good meal.’

‘It will be worth it.’

‘She won’t let go, huh?’ Alix guessed.

‘Something like that. But I think she’s got the message now.’

‘Good,’ Alix said with feeling, which made Rhys laugh as he tucked her arm in his and took her out to lunch.

The rest of those six weeks were wonderful because Alix knew she had him to herself, socially, that was; he spent a great deal of time in meetings and conferences, and it was eventually announced that he had been made a director in the boardroom game of musical chairs. And he was still only thirty. When he took her out at first Alix thought it was merely to emphasise to Donna that he wasn’t interested, but after two weeks the company hummed with the news that Donna had got a new job and was leaving immediately. Whenever Rhys was free he took Alix to the theatre and concerts, to dinner in ethnic restaurants where he laughed at the doubtful face she pulled as she tried food she’d never heard of before, let alone tasted.

Although Alix had known him most of her life there were many things about Rhys that she had yet to discover; he had never treated her as an adult before, so their conversations were different, making her feel closer to him. And he seemed to have changed since she’d seen him last, become a little harder perhaps. For Alix these weeks became a period of learning about Rhys, and her own experience had broadened so that she was able to look at him with more mature eyes. And the same went for him, she supposed, but she had always been completely open and natural with him, so there was less for him to learn.

When he went back to Australia she went to his flat to collect him, so that she could drive him in his car to the airport and then drive it back to Kent, to garage it at his parents’ house. His flat was in a modern block with an entry-phone system. Because she was feeling unhappy at his leaving, Alix had bought a lurid witch mask and put it on when she rang the bell.

Rhys’s laugh crackled over the intercom. ‘A great improvement. Come on up, Alix.’

His bags were all packed and standing ready in the hall.

‘How long will you be away this time?’ she asked him.

‘Not sure. A couple of months, maybe.’ His eyes settled on her face. ‘Have you ever thought of getting yourself a flat in London instead of commuting every day?’

She thinned her lips expressively. ‘Flats in London cost the earth to rent.’

Rhys held up some keys. ‘How about using this one, then, while I’m away?’

Alix’s eyes widened with pleasure. ‘Rhys! Do you mean it? Oh, that would be great, great, great!’

He laughed and tossed her the keys. ‘Don’t have any rave-ups and don’t upset the neighbours. OK?’

‘Of course not.’

‘Let’s go, then.’

They reached the airport and he turned to her. ‘Goodbye, urchin.’

Alix swallowed and blinked hard. ‘I’m going to miss you, Rhys.’

He put a finger under her chin and tilted her face, looked down at her with strange intentness. ‘Then remember this,’ he said softly, and bent to kiss her.

At last it was a real kiss, not that of an indulgent friend, but the kiss of a man to a woman. Letting her know masculine curiosity and desire, softly exploring her mouth, drinking in its moist sensuality, deepening to demand a response. At first taken by surprise, Alix was completely still, but then she gave a low moan of wonder and joy, opening her lips to him, finding herself caught in whirling timelessness, clinging to him as she experienced overwhelming sexual need for the first time in her life.

When he lifted his head there were tears of happiness in her eyes.

‘Idiot,’ he said, and kissed the tears away.

‘Wow!’ she managed on a choking laugh. ‘That was really something!’

He grinned. ‘You should get me on a good day.’

‘Yes, please,’ she said fervently.

He laughed and tweaked her hair. ‘Goodbye, urchin. Take care of yourself.’

He unloaded his bags, turned to wave to her as he went through the doors. But it was a while before Alix had recovered enough to start the car and drive home.

Alix moved into his flat the next day, enjoying hanging her clothes beside his in the wardrobe, putting her things out as if they were sharing the place. Not that there was much of Rhys’s stuff there; he was hardly at the flat long enough to make it look lived in, and he seemed to take most of his clothes with him. She got into bed that night, her thoughts full of him, when the phone rang.

‘Hello, Alix.’

‘Rhys! How did you know I was thinking about you?’

‘Telepathy. You settled in OK?’

‘Yes, fine.’

‘I forgot to tell you to forward any post.’

‘Will do.’ A little disappointed, Alix said, ‘Is that why you rang?’

‘No.’ His voice changed a little. ‘I called to ask you to marry me.’

CHAPTER TWO

‘ALIX? Alix, are you still there?’ Rhys demanded when the silence had lengthened and she still hadn’t replied.

‘Y-yes, I’m here,’ she said faintly. Then, on a note of understanding, that was, however, unable to hide the disappointment, ‘It was a joke, right?’

‘No joke, urchin. I’m asking you to be my wife.’ Again there was a long silence. ‘Alix, don’t do this to me. Is it yes or no?’

From somewhere, out of the overwhelming joy that filled her heart to bursting, out of the dizzying happiness that filled her head, her every sense, Alix was able to say with some dignity, ‘I shall have to think about it.’

‘You’ve got two minutes,’ Rhys said in amusement.

This time she was silent for only two seconds. ‘Yes, of course I’ll marry you, you idiot! Oh Rhys, oh Rhys, oh Rhys!’ The happiness bubbled in her voice, then changed to awe as the future she’d always dreamed about shone before her. ‘Oh, Rhys!’

‘Can’t you think of anything else to say?’ he complained.

‘I’ll try.’ She gave a watery chuckle.

‘And if you start to cry the deal’s off,’ he warned.

That made her laugh properly. ‘I do wish I could see you.’ She rolled on to her stomach. ‘Tell me where you are,’ she commanded. ‘I want to picture you there, proposing to me.’

‘It’s just a hotel room like any other—except that the fridge is bigger to hold all the beer.’

‘I’m in your bed,’ she told him with satisfaction. ‘And I’m wearing the top of a pair of your pyjamas that you left behind. The dark blue silk one.’

‘I never wear the tops,’ he told her.

‘Oh, good. Think how much money we’ll save,’ Alix said happily.

Rhys chuckled. ‘We’ll get officially engaged when I get home,’ he told her. ‘In the meantime keep it under your hat.’

‘Can’t I even tell the parents?’

‘Oh, sure.’ His voice changed a little. ‘But don’t expect them to be surprised.’

‘You think they’ll have guessed?’

‘They knew I didn’t stand a chance.’

Alix laughed richly. ‘When did you realise?’

‘Realise what?’

‘That you were in love with me, of course.’

‘Oh…’ His voice became flippant. ‘When you glared up at me and told me you weren’t a boy, you were definitely a girl, of course.’

‘Really? Was it that long ago for you, too?’ Alix’s voice was all eagerness.

‘No, idiot. I was only kidding. I’ll tell you when I get home. OK?’

‘OK,’ she agreed, a little wistfully. ‘Will you write to me—a proper letter?’

‘Wouldn’t you rather I called?’

‘I’d like you to do both. Oh, Rhys. I wish you were home. I wish you were here with me.’

‘It won’t be long, just a couple of months.’ There was a noise in the background. ‘Alix, I have to go now. My car’s arrived to take me to work.’

‘You’ll call me tomorrow?’

‘As soon as I can. Bye, urchin.’

‘Goodnight, Rhys.’ Then, experimenting with happiness, ‘Goodbye, darling.’

Being an only child, Alix was used to sharing everything with her parents, and it wasn’t in her nature not to, so, even though it was almost midnight, she hugged her joy to herself for only a short time before picking up the phone to call them.

‘Daddy,’ her voice was still breathless with excitement. ‘I’ve got something to tell you. No. No, I haven’t been mugged. I’m quite all right. Fine. Yes, I know you told me to be careful.’ She raised her voice. ‘Daddy, will you please listen?’ Alix paused till he was quiet. ‘I’m going to get married. I’m engaged!’ she told him, the thrilled wonder of it still in her voice. But then she frowned. ‘No, I am not at a party and I’m not drunk. Of course it’s someone you know—it’s Rhys.’

She grinned with supreme pleasure as she heard her father excitedly telling her mother. Then of course her mother came on the line, wanting to know every detail. ‘Yes, he phoned me from Australia. I know, isn’t it wonderful? What do you mean, you’re not surprised? I was. But Rhys said you wouldn’t be.’ She listened, then said, laughing with excitement, ‘No, Ma, of course we haven’t set a date yet. Rhys didn’t even talk about that. We only got engaged half an hour ago, for heaven’s sake! Oh, and he said we weren’t to tell everyone yet, not till he comes home and makes it official. No, you can’t tell Uncle David and Aunt Joanne because I want to tell them myself. No, Rhys had to go to work. OK. Yes. I promise to ring them right this minute. Yes, I am brilliantly, fantastically happy. More happy than it’s possible for anyone to be. Yes, tomorrow. Goodnight, Mum. Love to Daddy. Night.’

The next twenty minutes and more were almost exactly identical as Alix told Rhys’s parents the news. Next to her own parents, she was closer to them than to anyone, even her own relations, and had always called them aunt and uncle; the knowledge that their relationship was soon to become even closer gave them all the greatest of pleasure. ‘We’re so pleased, darling,’ Aunt Joanne told her. ‘We’ve been looking forward to this day for years.’

Alix accepted their happiness as perfectly natural, quite sure that their pleasure wouldn’t have been half so great if Rhys had chosen to marry some other girl. She had been a proxy daughter to them for so long, and now she was to officially become part of their family. Everything was perfect for them all.

It never occurred to Alix that his parents’ love for her might have influenced Rhys’s decision to propose to her. And it certainly never occurred to her that her own overwhelming love for him wasn’t reciprocated a hundredfold. Everything in the world was wonderful—except for the long, long wait for Rhys to come home and claim her as his own.

Keeping her engagement a secret for the next two months was terribly difficult, especially as her happiness shone from her face and was obvious for all to see.

‘You’re in love,’ Kathy accused her when she went into work the next day.

‘Yes,’ Alix admitted. ‘I am.’

‘Who with? Who did you meet over the weekend? It must have been love at first sight,’ Kathy said enviously.

‘Yes, it was. Isn’t life wonderful?’

‘I thought you were crazy over Rhys,’ the other girl said shrewdly.

‘Good heavens, what on earth gave you that idea?’

‘What’s this new man like?’

‘Oh, you know—just fantastic.’

More than that she wouldn’t say, but her whole outlook changed. Instead of window-shopping outside clothes shops in the lunch hour, Alix now wanted to look at cutlery and linens, at china and saucepans.

‘That’s boring,’ Kathy protested. ‘You’re too young and attractive to become a hausfrau. Anyone would think you were going to live with this guy.’

Alix protested, but was inwardly excited at the idea. Surely that was what Rhys had intended by letting her live in his flat while he was away? When he came back he would just move in with her and they would live together, eventually getting married, eventually having children, and definitely living happily ever after.

The rest of the day went past all too slowly. At the end of it Alix would dearly have loved to have gone home to share her excitement with her parents, but Rhys had said he would phone her again at the flat, so she had to stay in town. Only when he didn’t call that evening did Alix remember that he hadn’t promised definitely for that night, just said he’d ring as soon as he could. She fell asleep disappointed, and turned down an outing with some of the girls from the office to stay in the next night, but was overwhelmingly glad she had when Rhys rang again, earlier this time, at ten o’clock.