The Baby Bond

Considering that painful fact, maybe Grandmother was right. Perhaps adoption was the answer.

She pulled her hand away, knotting it with the other in front of her. Nic’s eyes bore into the side of her face, but she kept her gaze trained on Alex.

Dear Lord, help. My mind is so scattered right now.

As though someone had asked for his input, Nic said, “You need some time to think. Nothing should be decided today when you’re still in shock.”

Grasping that tiny bit of good sense, Cassidy nodded. He was right. She was running on fumes and emotion. How could she make an intelligent decision about Alex’s future in this condition?

Grandmother did not agree. “The sooner you settle things, the better. You have a busy career and Alexander has nowhere to go. I am simply not up to taking on another child.”

“Grandmother, please,” she interrupted before Eleanor could begin her diatribe on the supreme sacrifice she’d made when Cassidy’s parents died. Cassidy was determined that Alex would never feel the sting of believing he was an intruder living in someone else’s home. She wanted better for her nephew and with God’s help, she would figure out something.

Eleanor had opened her mouth to say more when Beverly and Thomas Brown entered the room. Both of them looked completely shattered. Cassidy rushed to greet them.

“I am so sorry,” she said to Brad’s mother. “I don’t know what else to say.”

The matronly woman fell against her with a sob. “I can’t believe this. I kept hoping we would get here and discover some kind of ghastly mistake had been made.”

Hadn’t she prayed for the same thing?

Thomas, a portly man, stood by looking helpless, his jowls droopy with sorrow. “How could this have happened?”

“I don’t know,” Cassidy said honestly. “I suppose the fire marshal will investigate.”

She glanced at Nic, amazed that he hadn’t left. He nodded and extended a hand to Thomas. “Nic Carano. I was at the scene last night.”

“Did you see them?” Beverly, eyes puffy and red, pulled away from Cassidy to face the fireman. Her short brown hair, shot with gray, was in disarray as if she’d run her hands through it over and over again in her distress. “My son and his wife?”

“Yes, ma’am. I brought them out.”

“Are they certain of the identities?”

The heartbroken mother was grasping at straws, hoping for a miracle that would not come. Cassidy’s stomach rolled, sick with grief.

“I don’t know about that, ma’am, but I can assure you they died peacefully and easily in their sleep. Smoke inhalation. No pain. No suffering. No fear.”

Thomas clapped a huge paw onto Nic’s shoulder, mouth downcast, as he drew in a shuddering breath and then nodded once. “Thank you for that. It helps.”

The atmosphere ached with sorrow.

“Yes, sir.”

“Nic rescued Alex, too,” Cassidy said, glad for the first time that Nic had returned to the room. His professional ease and knowledge of the situation seemed to be exactly what the devastated Browns needed.

“Thank you, Nic,” Beverly said and hugged him. The firefighter embraced her as if he’d known her forever. No surprise there. Nic Carano was comfortable with people, especially women.

Cassidy’s grandmother had kept her peace for about as long as she could. “We need to plan services, I suppose.”

The other four turned to look at her. Perched on the chair like a queen on her throne, Eleanor would run the show or die trying.

Somehow Cassidy stumbled through the visit to the funeral home, the preparations for the services and the double funeral four days later. In the midst of making all sorts of arrangements and decisions she hadn’t realized were necessary, she’d warded off Grandmother’s attempts to “deal with the issue” of Alex until after the funeral.

She and the Browns had taken turns sitting with the baby at the hospital where they’d discussed the painfully few options for her nephew, but none of them were emotionally ready to make a permanent decision.

To Cassidy’s discomfort, Nic Carano had returned every day as well, sending the baby into an excited display of arm and leg pumps and slobbery smiles. Cassidy, on the other hand, suffered a pain the size of Dallas. Every time she saw him, she had an unbidden vision of the yellow-clad fireman carrying Janna from the house, limp and dead. He was too much of a reminder of that night, of her sister’s last hours and moments.

Out of uniform, he looked different, more like the wild and crazy Nic in funny T-shirts she remembered. She couldn’t understand why he kept coming around. Surely not to see her. Having had her fill of womanizing playboys, she’d let him know from the start that she was not interested.

Alex was the only explanation. Through the shared tragedy, Nic had bonded with the child. That’s all it could be.

Until today, the doctors had kept her nephew in the hospital for observation and respiratory therapy. Two hours ago, he’d been discharged into Cassidy’s care—temporarily.

Now on this pleasant April afternoon, she sat on the off-white sofa in her tidy living room with Alex asleep in her lap, feeling as if she were a house of cards, ready to tumble at the slightest breeze. The grandparents were on their way to make the decision.

“Oh, baby boy,” she whispered to his peaceful, innocent face. “What is going to become of you?”

Earlier, her pastor had stopped by with a word of counsel and a prayer for comfort and guidance as she made important decisions in the days ahead. He’d prayed for Alex, too, that God’s will and perfect plan would unfold. To her way of thinking, God’s perfect plan should have been Janna and Brad raising their son together. Yet, she’d found relief in Pastor John’s prayers. Since the accident, praying had been difficult.

Heart as heavy as it had ever been in her life, Cassidy dreaded the family meeting that would decide Alex’s fate.

A bitter laugh escaped her throat.

“Family,” she muttered with a shake of her head. “Some family you have, baby.”

Beverly and Thomas Brown were fine people, but Beverly’s heart wasn’t strong. She’d had two bypass surgeries already. They couldn’t raise an infant and had admitted as much, though they loved Alex with all the grandparent love in the world. Eleanor, thank goodness, had never even considered “taking him on.” Had she wanted Alex, a moving freight train could not have stopped her.

Grandmother wasn’t a bad person, just a focused, determined businesswoman who’d never forgiven her only daughter for marrying a penniless missionary and then dying in a “heathen” land. Janna and Cassidy had borne the brunt of her unforgiveness.

With a shudder, Cassidy made up her mind that her nephew would never live that way. She wanted him to have love and family and warmth and support. A dear cousin in Baton Rouge was interested in adopting Alex, but Louisiana seemed so far away. Cassidy wanted him nearby, close enough that she could be part of his life.

If only she were married or had a less demanding job. If only she possessed the natural mothering instincts of her sister. If only her future weren’t laid out before her like a tidy road to the top of her game.

But it was. Regardless of the crazy thoughts going through her mind every time she looked into Alex’s face, she had no business raising a child.

“Lord,” she whispered, smoothing her fingers over Alex’s velvety forehead. “Show me what to do. Make Your plan clear. I’m dreadfully confused.”

Grandmother had declared today the final day she would “worry” about this situation, because she had business to attend to. Though Cassidy had urged Eleanor to return to Dallas and let her and the Browns decide, Grandmother wouldn’t hear of leaving until the issue was settled.

“I take familial duty very seriously,” she’d insisted with an insulted sniff. Behind her back, Cassidy had rolled her eyes.

Someone pounded on the door. Cassidy jumped. Baby Alex jerked and threw his arms out to the side but didn’t wake.

“They’re here, lamb,” she told him, stomach churning to know that after today, she would be separated from this baby she’d loved since before his birth.

Having no crib, and worried he would roll off the sofa, Cassidy placed Alex on a blanket on the floor, and then went to the door expecting to find the Browns or her grandmother waiting.

Instead, the handsome face of Nic Carano grinned down at her. In a snug black T-shirt imprinted with “Slackers give 100%, just not all at once,” he looked firefighter fit and beach tanned.

Cassidy’s stomach fluttered in a troubling and inappropriate response.

“Hey,” he said, slouching against her door.

Charm absolutely oozed from the man.

“Nic?” Her voice was cool to the point of frost. Maybe he’d get the idea. “What are you doing?” And why won’t you go away?

“Went by the hospital to see the little dude and they said he’d escaped with a beautiful blonde.”

She refused to fall for the compliment. It rolled from his silver tongue far too easily. “I brought him home this morning.”

“I called the sibs.” With a jerk of his thumb, he indicated an oncoming barrage of humanity. “Told them a friend needed some baby stuff and here they are.”

A parade of people she didn’t know had piled out of cars and were trailing up the sidewalk like smiling, supply-laden ants. Each carried something that related to an infant.

Cassidy was dumbfounded. “They’re bringing those things for Alex?”

Oh dear. What did she do now?

The dimple in Nic’s chin widened. “Unless you wear Huggies and onesies and play with bathtub toys.” He shook his head, one hand up to wave off the remark. “Scratch the last comment. Everyone needs a rubber ducky.”

Against her own better judgment, Cassidy laughed. “Nic, you’re a nut.”

With a cocky grin, he turned and hollered down the stairwell. “Come on up, folks. She’s laughing. I don’t think she’ll shoot.”

While Cassidy wrestled with the wisdom of letting Notorious Nic into her house, a ribbon of chattering, jostling Caranos, all toting various baby items, trudged up the steps and into her space. Nic stood in the doorway like an affable traffic cop, rattling off introductions as three men and three women passed through. Even with six, Nic declared that some of the family had to work today.

“These are only the goof-offs,” he said with affection.

Cassidy, confused, touched and annoyed in equal amounts, could only watch in stunned amazement. How many Caranos could there be? Where did they get all this stuff? Why would they give it to her?

A man Nic introduced as his father, Leo, paused in the living room to ask, “Where do you want us to put everything?”

With his blue-collar physique and thin ring of hair around a shiny bald head, Leo Carano would have been perfect in a sitcom set in a pizza parlor.

“Anywhere,” she said, and then, discombobulated, changed her mind. “No, wait. The guest bedroom.”

What was she doing? Alex wasn’t here to stay. The furniture would only have to be moved again.

Before she could tell them as much, a beautiful, full-figured woman reminiscent of Sophia Loren stopped with a box of baby clothes in her arms.

“I’m Rosalie,” she said, hitching her chin toward Nic. “This rascal is my baby boy.”

No wonder Nic was so handsome.

“Now, Mom,” Nic said with considerable humor. “Don’t start telling stories.”

Rosalie cocked an eyebrow at him. “Then stop lazing in the door and go help your brothers. Cassidy won’t remember who was who anyway. Later, we’ll get acquainted. Anna’s bringing pizza.”

Pizza? Somehow she had to stop the madness and tell these people that she could not accept their generosity. Alex was not here to stay.

A painful knot formed in her throat.

“Nic,” she started.

“Gotta go,” he said, cutting her off.

With a parting wink, he saluted his mother before bounding down the steps. On the way, he shouted general insults at his brothers. They shouted back, all in good fun.

Cassidy watched in fascination at the family dynamics. Teasing, working together, the bond of love between them was practically visible. Her heart ached with the knowledge that this was the kind of life Janna and Brad had been building for Alex. Now what would he have? Where would he go?

Rosalie returned from the bedroom, empty-handed. “I think my Nicky likes you.”

Liked her? No way. “He likes the baby, I think. He rescued him from the fire and they seem to have formed a bond.”

It was the only explanation she could think of, the only acceptable one.

“Precious angel from God.” Rosalie looked over at Alex who didn’t seem to mind that an army of Caranos were tromping all around him. “You’ll be a fine mother for him, I’m sure.”

“Oh, I can’t keep him. That’s what I’ve been trying to say.”

The woman was taken aback. “I’m sorry. I thought Nic said you were the aunt, the only sister of the baby’s mother.”

“I am. It’s just that…”

Rosalie tilted her kind face to listen. Cassidy stumbled through her litany of reasons.

“I’ve already missed four work days. I can’t keep a baby. I’m single. I don’t know anything about babies. My job is demanding. I’m working my way up to creative director. That’s even more demanding. Alex deserves…” Realizing she was babbling, Cassidy clamped her lips together.

Rosalie patted her arm. “It’s all right, Cassidy. Alex deserves love. Everything else is negotiable.”

Cassidy opened her mouth to say more but nothing came out.

“You’ll do the right thing. God will guide you.”

She hoped she could count on that.

“But what about all these lovely things? I can’t keep them.”

The woman waved her off. “As long as you need them. We know where they are.” Then Rosalie stuck her head out the door and called down the stairs. “Come on, boys. This baby does not need to sleep on a floor with all of you tromping around like Bigfoot. Bring that up here.”

Two men who looked remarkably like Nic pulled a baby crib from the back of a pickup.

Cassidy felt a moment of panic. This was getting out of control. Did she need a crib?

One of Nic’s dark-haired sisters, Mia, if she remembered correctly, asked, “The baby is awake. Do you mind if I pick him up?”

“No. Please. I—” Cassidy blinked, as confused as a minnow in a whirlpool.

Her heart continued to race as load after load of baby paraphernalia, much of which she could not identify, found its way into her apartment. By the time the pickup and two cars were unloaded, the guest room was crammed with baby items.

With relentless cheer, the Caranos went to work organizing and setting up. The men clanged away at the crib, arguing over the direction of the springs and screws. The ladies folded sweet-smelling clothes and placed them inside a small chest.

The Caranos were like a tidal wave, overwhelming in their power. Cassidy gave up the battle. She’d deal with this later.

“What is this thing?” Nic asked, holding up a device with a dangling electric cord.

“Baby wipe warmer.” Mia’s full lips curved in amusement at her clueless brother. “Now that my little one is out of diapers I don’t need it or most of this other stuff. Thank goodness.”

“Sweet,” Nic answered and found a place for the warmer on the baby changer. “Right here okay, Cass?”

No one called her Cass.

“Perfect,” she muttered, helpless to say otherwise.

Nic efficiently filled the machine from a package of wipes, plugged it in and then wove his way through the maze of working Caranos and baby stuff to her side.

Smelling like baby wipes, a fact that made Cassidy want to giggle, the macho fireman plopped down on the floor and tilted a roll of Life Savers toward her.

She was on her knees next to Rosalie sorting onesies by size.

“Overwhelmed yet?”

She dug a cherry candy from the wrapper. “A little.”

“Want us to disappear?”

What could she say? To tell the truth would be both unkind and lacking in gratitude. Suspecting she would live to regret the decision, she said, “Stay.”

“Sure?” He popped a lemon Life Saver into his mouth.

Trying not to remember who he was or his role in her sister’s death, Cassidy controlled the urge to send him away. She slid the candy onto her tongue and sucked at the sweetness.

During the hour since the Caranos had swept into her life with their friendly laughter and kindhearted intentions, she’d pushed aside the terrible circumstances that brought them here. For this little while she’d witnessed the inner workings of a real family, the kind she and Janna had dreamed of. For the first time since Janna’s death, she’d felt almost human. That’s why she’d let them stay. She’d needed to feel normal again.

Now the sorrow came back in a rush.

Nic was silent beside her as though he guessed her thoughts. Guilty, troubled, hurting, she folded and refolded the onesie, never taking her eyes off the tiny garment.

I’m a mess. She, a woman who had long known what she wanted and where she was going, now floundered like a baby bird fallen from the nest.

The intrusion of a single, high-pitched, nasal voice jolted Cassidy from her brooding.

“What is all this?” Eleanor Bassett stomped into their midst, the heels of her alligator pumps thudding ominously on the beige carpet. Beverly and Thomas Brown peeked in behind her. Ignoring them, Grandmother swept one arm imperiously around the bedroom filled with boxes, diapers, bottles, a changing station, a crib and a lot of people.

Nic leaned into Cassidy’s ear and whispered, “Cruella de Vil. Hide the puppies.”

Squelching a gust of sudden and surprising laughter, Cassidy pushed at his shoulder and stood. He came up with her, eyes dancing above an expression as innocent as a rose. He’d probably gotten away with a lot of things because of that face.

“Grandmother, come in. I’d like you to meet the Carano family.” She’d almost added “friends of mine” and yet she hardly knew them. This amazing group that had baffled her with their display of generosity to a bereaved aunt and an orphaned baby were basically strangers.

Introductions were made and Grandmother perched on the rocker, ready to take over. The Caranos, while polite, didn’t seem all that impressed.

“Cassidy, we’ve come to discuss the situation. Although I see no reason whatsoever for you to have purchased all this frippery, shall we adjourn to the living room and leave these people to their work?”

The Caranos exchanged amused glances, aware they had been relegated to the position of hired help.

“Grandmother, the Caranos are friends.” There. She’d said it. “They donated these items for Alex.”

“Oh. Well.” Eleanor tilted her nose down a notch. “Unnecessary given the situation, but thank you. How generous. Now, Cassidy, as I was saying, let’s adjourn to the living room. I need to get back to Dallas tonight. The Forkner merger is set for tomorrow and I have tons of paperwork to prepare.”

Cassidy looked from the woman who’d birthed her mother to Nic’s sister who held Alex. The blue-clad baby reached chubby arms toward his aunt. Cassidy’s heart swelled with an undeniable emotion—love. Her knees started to shake. Could she do this? Could she let Grandmother ship him off to virtual strangers? Could her heart let him go?

The answer came loud and clear. No. She could not.

Lord, help me. She was about to jump off a building without a safety net.

“Grandmother. Mr. and Mrs. Brown.” She sucked in a steadying lungful of Nic-scented air and let it out slowly. This was the right thing. The only thing. “I want to keep Alex.”

Nic squeezed her elbow.

Buoyed by that simple gesture and the growing confidence that no one else could love Alex the way she would, Cassidy took her nephew from a gently smiling Mia and kissed the top of his head. His warm baby smell filled her senses and settled in her heart.

“That’s ridiculous, Cassidy. You have no business with a child. You have a busy, growing career.”

That was one of the dozen problems she hadn’t figured out—yet.

“Something will work out.”

“Well now, if that isn’t a well-considered plan.” Grandmother’s nostrils flared in sarcasm. “You’re single, Cassidy. You cannot raise a child and that is all there is to it.”

The Caranos had grown quiet, eyes averted as they busied themselves with work, trying not to listen. All but Nic who stood at her side like some kind of warrior, which was ridiculous given that this was Notorious Nic. Despite his job, Nic wasn’t a fighter. He was a player.

Still, his solid presence was oddly strengthening. She, who had rarely won a battle with Eleanor Bassett, quelled the trembling in her bones.

“I promised Janna and Brad.”

“Promised them what?” Grandmother’s mouth puckered. Vertical lines, like spokes in a wheel, circled her lips. “To give up your own life?”

Cassidy’s chin rose a notch. She could feel the red blotches creeping up her neck. She hoped Grandmother didn’t take them as a sign of weakness. She was anxious, not weak.

“I promised to take care of Alex if anything should ever happen to them.” With the stress and confusion of the past few days, she’d forgotten the conversation and the piece of computer-printed paper until this moment.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake.” Eleanor waved at the air in dismissal. “No one would hold you to some silly, sentimental promise.”

“I would. I believe God would, too. Janna and I knew from experience that the worst could happen. She loved Alex so much, she wanted to be certain he would never—” She stopped before she could say too much. Her grandmother had tried. Hurting her now had no value. “We even put her wishes in writing with the nurses as witnesses. I have the paper in my safe-deposit box, if anyone wants to see it.”

The day after Alexander Bradley Brown was born, Brad and Janna had handed her a document asking her to act as legal guardian if anything should ever happen to them. She’d wanted to laugh it off, but she and Janna knew that life didn’t always play fair.

“We think it’s a wonderful solution, Cassidy,” Beverly Brown said, coming close enough to stroke Alex’s hair. Tears filled the woman’s eyes. “This is what we’ve prayed for, though we didn’t want to pressure you. You’re young and healthy, and you love this baby.”

“You’ll always be his grandparents,” she said, aching for Beverly’s loss. “He’ll need you in his life.”

“Thank you, honey,” Beverly whispered. “We want that very much.”

Without a word, she slid Alex into his grandmother’s arms and watched her cradle the infant tenderly. Tears shimmied loose and slid silently down the woman’s ruddy cheeks.

Grandmother Bassett, however, was determined to have her way. “You’re running on emotion, Cassidy Luanne. This can’t last. Then later, you will be sorry you made such a drastic mistake.”

With a sharp pang, Cassidy realized Grandmother spoke from experience. She considered taking Janna and Cassidy into her home a “drastic mistake.” That final, cruel comment gave Cassidy the last bit of courage she needed.

“Loving Alex could never, ever be a mistake.”

Regardless of her single status, regardless of the demanding career, regardless of her goal to be a premiere graphic designer, and though she knew nothing at all about raising a baby, Cassidy Willis would find a way to give her sister’s son the loving home he deserved.

Chapter Four

Nic tossed down the remote, skirted the semicircle of recliners pointed at a television set and headed into the kitchen area of Station One to dish up the lasagna. Four tough, manly firefighters followed like puppies. Tonight was his night to cook at the fire station, and thanks to his mother’s recipes, Nic’s cooking was favored by the other men.

“Not as good as your mama’s,” Captain Summers teased, his mustached mouth so full his words were mush. “Passable.”