Winter's Bride

Anger made her thrash anew. Her exertions were redoubled when shame washed through her as she recalled her own folly in thinking him quite attractive, at knowing that she had not been able to forget the chance meeting on the stairs. In the long interval before she had finally been able to fall asleep, she had gone over and over that strange and unexplainable sense of recognition she had felt.

Bitterly Lily told herself not to think about that. She must certainly concentrate instead on finding out what he wanted with her.

As if her own thoughts had triggered him to act, he stood and began to roll her more tightly in the bedclothes. Horrified, she began to struggle harder.

It was of little use. His much greater strength and the fact that she was already covered in the blankets prevented her from freeing so much as a hand before she was completely immobilized from head to foot.

Then there was no more time for thought as she felt herself being lifted and draped over what she was sure was the man’s shoulder.

Desperately she wriggled inside the roll of bedding. Her reward was a jarring thump as she landed on the floor. She clenched her teeth at the pain in her hip, which had hit hardest, telling herself that it was worth it if someone had heard her. But the only sound that followed was a muffled curse from her assailant. He uttered a husky-voiced warning, “Don’t try that again, unless your hope is to get someone hurt. I won’t be thwarted,” before she was again lifted and flung over his shoulder.

This remark did nothing to ease Lily’s fears or explain what was happening. It told her only that the madman was serious. Though she was not familiar with her future husband’s men, that did not mean she could cavalierly put them at risk by alerting them. For whatever reasons of his own, this man clearly meant to take her no matter what the cost.

Perhaps it would be best to allow this knave to get her outside the inn, then make her escape.

With that thought in mind, Lily forced herself to acquiescence as she felt herself being carried out the door and down the stairs of the inn. No sounds came to her within the muffling folds of the blankets.

Tristan allowed himself not a moment of doubt or sympathy as he took her through the darkened inn. The common room was vacant other than for two gentlemen who snored loudly as they slept upon benches before the fire. The depth of their slumber indicated that it might be aided by drink.

He was not sorry. In spite of the cold seriousness of his warning to Lily, he did not wish to actually harm anyone. He would have taken her out the window, which was the way he had entered her room, but that would be near impossible, carrying the awkward bundle she made.

Nay, he did not wish to harm anyone—even Lily, though his heart burned like a hot coal inside his breast at the thought of her perfidy. All he wanted…well, he wasn’t sure what he wanted. He only knew that he had to confront her, tell her what he thought of her betrayal. He had to make her understand that she could not just look through him as if he did not exist, as if their daughter had never been born.

Sabina deserved better than that from the woman whom they had all thought dead—whom Tristan had mourned with an unceasing agony. Even when he had agreed to an engagement to his brother Benedict’s ward, Genevieve, he had grieved that his bride would not be Lily. Each and every waking moment since his recovery from his accident—that fateful accident in which he had thought she died—had been accompanied by pain at the realization that he must go on without her.

Jagged sorrow sliced him anew, but unlike all those other times in the past three years, it was dulled by a smoldering anger. She would know just what she had done to him.

Lily would acknowledge that she had wronged him—and their daughter.

Mayhap then he would let her go. He would be glad for her to return to her husband and the new life she had made for herself without them.

The very thought of that unknown man made Tristan’s lower belly twist with renewed rage. Quickly he made his way from the inn and out into the courtyard, where he had tied his horse.

He knew it would not be an easy journey to his hunting lodge, Molson, with Lily lying across the saddle in front of him, even with the full moon to light his passage. But they should be able to reach the lodge before dawn. He needed night to mask his escape. The soldiers who now slept so peacefully in their own chamber next to the one Lily had occupied, and the others in the stables, would have no witnesses to tell them where she might have gone.

Tristan was feeling as if things were going even better than he could have hoped as he laid her across the front of his patiently waiting stallion. It was then that she began to thrash about once more, and he very nearly dropped her on the ground. Roughly he whispered, “You are only going to hurt yourself if you fall. What good will that do you, Lily?”

It was as he spoke her name that she became suddenly and utterly still. This seemed odd…almost as if she were surprised that he knew it.

He shook his head, telling himself that it was impossible. She knew him. There could be no mistaking the shock on her face when she had seen him on the stairs of the inn, even though she had quickly pretended otherwise.

He swung up into the saddle behind her, urging Uriel toward Molson.

Daylight was just threading through the trees near the village as he rode up the hill to his hunting lodge. It had been built just before his parents had died ten years ago, and though not nearly as large as the castle at Brackenmoore, was more comfortable and definitely warmer in winter. That he did not make his permanent home there had more to do with his wanting to be with his family than anything else. He felt it was good for Sabina to be surrounded by those who loved her, especially growing up without a mother. His betrothed, Genevieve, seemed quite content to remain there as well.

He did not allow himself to believe that his reluctance to live at Molson had anything to do with the fact that it was there he had been with Lily. That it was there they had culminated their love, shared their innermost thoughts, made plans for a life together. Due to its close proximity to Lakeland, it was filled with memories of their stolen moments together.

He had thought of none of these things as he had left for Molson the previous day to see his man, Wilbert, the craftsman who was making the polished metal shield for the lighthouse at Brackenmoore. It was only by chance that Tristan had stopped for the night at the very inn where Lily had chosen to take her rest. If not for that odd twist of fate he would never have seen her, would not be holding her before him at this very moment.

Tristan rode to the front entrance of the three-story lodge, which was built in the fashion of a manor house and called a lodge only because of its original intended use, and dismounted. He then reached up to take Lily down from where she had lain for the past several hours. As he did so she groaned in protest.

In spite of not wishing to feel anything but outrage, Tristan frowned in chagrin. He had been so lost in his own thoughts, in his anger, that he had given little consideration to her comfort. Of course she was stiff and sore from lying in one position for so long. He looked down and saw that the blankets had pulled away from her face during the ride. Even in the dim light he could see that she was too pale. Avoiding any eye contact, he reached out and removed the gag from her mouth. Immediately she sucked in a great breath of air, closing her eyes as if overcome by the sheer joy of doing so.

Telling himself that he was giving her no more than the same consideration that he would toward even an enemy, he eased her down slowly into his arms. Even then she gave another quickly muffled gasp of pain. He supported her there for a long moment, giving the blood a chance to begin flowing through her veins.

Obviously her discomfort was not completely debilitating, for when she spoke, her voice, though confused, was also demanding. “Who are you?”

His lips twisted in ire as he told himself his sympathy was misplaced. She did not lack the energy to continue the charade that she did not know him. “Do not try to play games with me, Lily. I am not interested in them.”

She replied heatedly, “Please, sir, I play no games. I beg you explain who you are and why you have abducted me!”

He pressed his lips together in irritation at her question. “I’m sure you recall my warning about not getting someone else hurt by being foolish. You will not try to enlist aid here. No one would give it in any event.” Beyond that he would not deign to answer. Once they were alone he would speak. He would not participate in this pointless questioning, which was no more than pretense. Roughly he flung her over his shoulder and moved to bang the knocker upon the oak-paneled door.

It seemed a very long time before it swung inward and Hunter poked his head through the opening. “My lord Tristan?” He pulled the door wide, even as Tristan stepped across the threshold.

The elderly servant’s amazed green eyes focused on the bundle his master carried. Tristan gave a mental shrug. He knew he could not hide the fact that he carried a body. He had not meant to. He knew the servant’s loyalty was without question. Yet the man was a human being and must surely have some curiosity. Unfortunately for him, Tristan was of no mind to satisfy that curiosity.

Now that he was here, standing in the entryway of his own home in the cold light of morning, he was not sure he could explain even to himself what he had done. Tristan could not hope to escape the consequences of this act. For surely Lily would not keep silent when he let her go, after he had told her exactly how he felt about her duplicity. As angry as he was, Tristan knew he could not harm her in order to prevent her from telling what he had done. The very thought made his stomach muscles clench sickeningly.

He forced himself to focus on Hunter rather than try to understand the depth of his reaction. “Are my chambers ready?”

“Of course, my lord, as your letter requested, though we had not expected you until much later in the day.”

“I…yes, there was an unexpected change of plans.” Tristan raised his dark eyebrows and shrugged. “I’m sure you understand.”

The poor man did not look as if he did understand. Not in the least.

Tristan’s mouth twisted in a wry grimace. “Well, thank you, Hunter. I’ll go up now.”

“Yes, my lord Tristan.” The elderly gentleman bowed. “I trust you’ll let us know if you have need of anything.”

“Of course.” Tristan smiled, glad to have passed this awkward moment with so little commotion. He then turned and made his way up the darkened stairs at the far end of the wide entryway. Not much of the morning light had found its way through the shuttered windows above the door. But Tristan didn’t require much lighting. He knew where he was going.

Upon reaching his rooms, he pushed open the door and went directly to the dark cherry-wood bed, where he deposited his burden without ceremony. As soon as she landed on the mattress, Lily began to wriggle out of the blankets.

He stood back and watched as her dark head emerged, the huge dark circles of her gray eyes finding him with fury and outrage. “Now, sir, will you tell me what is going on here?”

Tristan bent over her, feeling his anger rise afresh at her continued pretense of not knowing him. “I will tell you nothing until you stop this masquerade.”

She sat up straighter on the gold brocade bedcover, clearly trying to gather the scattered edges of her dignity around her as she shook her head. He tried not to notice how the thin fabric of her diaphanous white night rail clung to the curves of her breasts, hips and thighs. Nor would he allow himself to think of the times he had pulled the heavy draperies that covered these very windows closed, undressed her in this very bed and…

As Lily began to speak, he concentrated with determination on her words. “I yield, sir, if it will please you. I have somehow perpetrated some masquerade against you. Now will you set me free?”

He frowned, seeing that she was making as if to humor him. “I can’t do that, Lily, not yet. Not until we have discussed a few things.”

She sighed, the heavy fall of her raven-black hair spilling forward over her slight shoulders to pool about her on the bed. “Such as?”

Tristan watched with an unexpected pang in his chest. He had so loved the way that hair spilled across his body when she kissed him…

He gave himself a mental shake. It had been a mistake to bring her here to Molson, where they had been together. He would never even have met the young maiden had he not, when visiting his own lands, decided to attend the local fair on a whim. From the moment their eyes had met across the greensward, Tristan had cared not what side of the war her family might be on, nor his own. Yet he had been a fool to forget all in her eyes. He must remember that that time was no more, must force himself to concentrate on how she had hurt him in allowing him to think her dead, how she had betrayed her own babe.

His eyes narrowed on hers as he answered her question. “Such as why you refuse to admit that you know me even now that we are alone here. It can serve no purpose. There is no one to hear.”

She turned away from him then and shoved the tangled blankets from her legs, as if she had decided he were not worthy of her continued consideration. Lily looked about the dimly lit room. His gaze followed hers over the heavy brocade draperies, the rich dark furnishings.

She sighed and ran a trembling hand through the hair at her temple. As when he had seen her on the stairs the previous night, this sign of weakness stirred his compassion for some reason.

“Well?” he demanded, his own frustration with himself making his voice gruff.

She looked at him then, her brow raised high. Her expression told him clearly that she had lost patience with him. “I tell you, my lord, I am exhausted. There was very little rest to be had upon your horse, and I had been traveling the whole of yesterday. If you insist that there are things that must be discussed between us, I must also insist that I rest first. I can make no sense of any of it at the moment.”

He felt an unexpected and unwelcome sense of admiration for her bravado. Here was a hint of the Lily he had once known. He had admired her spirit from the beginning.

Perhaps that was why it bothered him so much to see the weakness she tried to hide. That weakness only served to further illustrate how much had changed, how much she had changed.

Yet he could not bring himself to insist that, before she rested, she stand up to the weight of what she had done. What harm could it do to allow her to sleep first?

He shrugged. “Then sleep, if that is your wish.” He indicated the bed upon which she half lay.

She looked at him with a momentary relief quickly masked by hauteur.

Smiling benignly, Tristan sat down on the end of the bed and began to remove his own boots. He was somewhat tired himself. It had been a long night, and it would do no harm to have all his wits about him when he faced her with her perfidy.

When Tristan swung around to lie down on the bed, Lily was still watching him. Her eyes became rounder as she saw his intent. “You do not mean to sleep here?”

His smile widened with unconcealed amusement. “I certainly do. You do not think I would go and leave you here alone so you can escape?”

She bit her lower lip. Ah, he thought, so she had been contemplating just such a move. Well, it would do her no good. Even though the way to her own father’s keep from Molson was well-known to her, she was completely in Tristan’s power until he chose for it to be otherwise.

Casually he got up and went to the door. Fixing his gaze upon her own, he turned the key in the lock, then with deliberate care placed the key in the waistband of his leggings.

Her gray eyes narrowed, and she leaped up from the bed. “I will not sleep in this bed with you. I wouldst rather lie upon the floor.” With that she plopped down upon the gold-and-red-patterned carpet.

He frowned. Lord, but she was obstinate, just as in the old days. Then her obstinacy had shown itself in her desire to see him in spite of her parents’ wishes.

Even as another shaft of regret passed through him, tightening his throat, Tristan strode across the room and scooped her up in his arms. Her eyes grew rounder still as she gasped and tried to struggle.

Ignoring her efforts, he tossed her onto the bed and stood staring down at her for a very long time, during which she did her utmost to glare back at him. But once again he could see her fatigue in the dark circles beneath her eyes and the shallowness of her breathing.

Without another word, he turned his back on her and went to the large overstuffed chair beside the empty hearth. Tristan settled back and closed his eyes, though he was aware of her continued scrutiny for quite some time. Only when he heard her lie back upon the bed and sigh with weariness was he able to even attempt to seek his own rest.

It was some time before he was able to sleep even then.

Chapter Two

Lily woke abruptly and to the full knowledge of everything that had transpired the previous night. She had, in fact, slept very little during the hours since she had refused to continue the confrontation with the madman who had abducted her.

A very handsome madman, came an unexpected voice inside her, as a rush of heat flamed her cheeks. Even in the vehemence of anger, those oddly compelling blue eyes of his had had the power to capture and hold her own.

As they had from the first moment, when she had seen him on the stairs at the inn.

Quickly she tossed this thought aside, for it was not comforting in any way. Lily knew she must think about what she was to do now. She certainly could not allow the madman, no matter how compelling, to confuse her. No matter how appealing he was to the eyes, with that dark hair, those strongly sculpted features and intense blue eyes…

From whence had come such thoughts? she asked herself in exasperation.

Lily could not forget the strength of his arms as he carried her up the stairs to this very chamber. And he had left her to sleep in the bed alone. But then, he had had no right to bring her here against her will at the onset.

It had been some time after he settled himself in the large chair near the window that she was able to actually believe that he meant to leave her to her rest. The eventual slowing of his breathing had finally convinced her.

Lily found herself holding her own breath as her attention centered on him now.

A sudden prickling of awareness at her nape told her that he was awake. Unbelievably, she could feel the very force of his presence in the air. Lily lay very still, unwilling to face him as yet, wishing to give herself more time to think.

He must have been as alert to her as she to him, for he spoke from the other side of the chamber. “Well, are you ready to continue our discussion?” There was no mistaking the disdain and anger in his voice. The hours that had passed had done nothing to change his demeanor.

Lily took a deep breath and let it out in a rush as she sat up, quickly pulling the silken coverlet up to cover herself when she saw how much of her was exposed by the sheer fabric of her nightgown. She replied with equal disdain. “Only if you are now ready to come to your senses and allow me to leave.” She could not be blind to the fact that he was indeed even more handsome than her eyes had told her in the dim light of their previous encounter. Those blue eyes of his were narrowed under two eyebrows that were dark as sable, as was the thick thatch of wavy hair that fell across his forehead.

As she watched, he reached up and raked it back with obvious frustration. He rose and strode toward her with the grace and menace of a stalking tiger she had once seen in an illustrated book. When he reached the bed he leaned over her. “It should not surprise me in the least that you are attempting to go back on your word.”

Unexpectedly stung by the insult, Lily swallowed and replied with defiance. “Why would I be bound by my word to the blackguard who took me by force from my fiancé’s men?”

She watched in surprise as his lids flickered at her words. It was almost as if he was disturbed by them.

His rebuttal only served to confuse her even further, and the emptiness in his voice reminded her of the sense of despair she had felt on the day she had woken to discover that she did not recall her own life. “Your fiancé’? So you are not yet married.”

“Nay, not yet. I was on my way to be married when you took me.” She glared at him. “And have as yet no explanation for why those who care for me must wait in fear of my safe return.”

Two deep furrows appeared between his eyebrows as he snapped, “Lily, I have had quite enough of this. You will cease pretending that you do not know me. And you will do so now!” Yet in spite of his anger there was no mistaking the shadow of anguish that darkened his eyes.

The sudden sense that this man was acting from a place of deep pain made her pause and bite back the heated reply that sprang to her lips. Something was wrong here, for there was no mistaking that this man felt she was deliberately antagonizing him.

There must be some explanation. Perhaps he had mistaken her for some other woman, and hearing him out would clear up the confusion. Perhaps then she could use reason to help him see that she was not the woman he sought.

A woman named Lily who bears your own likeness, said the same inner voice that had plagued her earlier. This time it had an incredulous edge.

Lily scowled. It was possible.

Unexpectedly, the memory of how she had reacted to her first sight of him on the steps at the inn rose up to haunt her. In that first brief moment it was as if he were no stranger, as if…

Could her strange reaction, that inexplicable sense of familiarity, be clouding her judgment even now? Could it be making her more willing to try to understand this disturbing man’s point of view?

Nay, she would not think on it. She did not know this man. ‘Twas impossible.

He interrupted her thoughts. “Well, what say you?”

She replied with more care this time, remembering her decision to use reason to help him understand that she was not the woman he believed her to be. “I know not what to say, sir. You have me at a disadvantage. I do not recall where or how we might have met.” She met his angry gaze directly and openly, not wavering as he seemed to search the very depths of her soul with those all-too-adamant eyes.

What he saw in her gaze made him frown, but she glimpsed the first hint of uncertainty in his wellsculpted face. He studied her for another long moment, then shook his head with a bitter laugh as he sat down on the bed near her. She was not concerned about his sitting on the bed now. Ravishing her seemed to be the furthest thing from his mind as he replied with deliberate care, his voice filled with amazement, “At last I see. You do not know me.”

Lily felt slightly encouraged by this seeming acceptance of her position. She nodded eagerly. “I do not. I can see that you are most eager to find the woman you seek, and for your sake I am very sorry that I am not she. Lily is indeed my name, but that is nothing more than an extremely unlikely coincidence.”

He did not look at her, and his tone was so low she could barely hear as he said, “A coincidence.”

Relief at his finally understanding made her voice brighter than it might otherwise have been. “Yes, yes, now you see.”

Before she even knew what was happening he had whipped around to grasp her shoulders in his two large hands, his face so near hers she could feel the hot brush of his breath on her face. “Oh aye, I see. I see everything. You are not the Lillian Gray I met and loved with every fiber of my being, would have given the last breath in my body to spend even a mere instant with. That was not you but another woman who bears your name, whose soft skin covered fragile bones that feel as yours do beneath my fingers, whose mouth spoke to me in her sweet voice, the same voice that comes from your lips. You would have me accept that you are she in flesh and bone, but you are not my Lily.”