Dare To Love

“You make that second phone call?”

Boyce barely nodded, not bothering to look up. If he did, the welt of Kai’s handprint would become visible.

“And?” Matt prodded, his lips thinning with displeasure.

“And Old Man Easton’s scramblin’ to get the money. He’s cryin’ the blues about the holidays making it tough to get the banks to cooperate in gettin’ the four mil.”

“Is he going to meet our midnight deadline?”

“Dunno.”

“Dammit, Boyce—”

“Look,” he snapped, raising his head and glaring, “we’re supposed to call him back at—” he glanced at his watch “—seven tonight.”

“What happened to your face?” Matt asked, his voice deceptively soft.

“What do you think, Taylor?”

Matt’s heart took a terrifying lurch in his chest. He gripped the sack tightly. “I told you—”

“The bitch slapped me,” Boyce snarled in self-defense. “Ask Wright. Tell ‘im, Hank!”

Wright refused to be drawn into the conversation, hanging his head.

Matt cursed, moving around the table and heading to the room where Kai was being held prisoner. Dread hung in his chest, the suffocating feeling increasing as he jerked open the door. Shutting it behind him, Matt looked to his left. Kai sat huddled like an animal in the corner. Her hair was disheveled, hiding her face from him. She was filthy with the dust from the floor, crouched into a ball, trying to hide.

“Kai?” he called, moving across the room. He set the sack near the bunk. In moments Matt was kneeling at her side. His stripping gaze missed nothing. Her knees were drawn up tightly against her body. She was trembling like a rabbit cowering before a wolf. His mouth compressed with pain as he saw the bloody scrapes on the backs of her hands and the broken fingernails…which explained the handprint on Boyce’s face. Had he raped her? His throat tightened, and he felt nausea rising as he looked toward the bunk. The covers were tangled in the wake of their struggle.

Matt returned his attention to Kai. He tried to keep his tone steady as he called her once again. “Are you all right?” He heard the quaver in his own voice. “Kai?”

She only trembled more, and that tore at his heart. Unthinkingly Matt reached forward. The instant his hand touched her bruised shoulder, she shrank back, gasping. Before he could react, Matt saw her lash out. The blow landed solidly against his jaw. He reared back more in surprise than pain, temporarily off balance.

Kai was breathing hard, her chin raised with defiance, jaw clenched as she glared at him. Her green eyes were dark with pain, glazed with shock.

Matt regained his balance, crouching before her, his hand outstretched in a gesture of peace. “It’s all right,” he soothed. “I’m not going to hurt you. Come on, let’s get you up off the floor.”

Kai’s eyes rounded as she saw his hand slowly come forward again. A small, pitiful cry broke from her glistening, contorted lips, and she shrank away. “Don’t—”

Matt blinked back his own tears. He halted, stunned by his own reaction to her plea. One part of him wanted to go and kill Boyce. The other part said, Stay, help her. Kai needs you….

“Come on.” He stretched his fingers outward until he just touched her bare arm. Her flesh was cool to his touch. He allowed his hand to rest lightly against her, making no other move.

“Good,” Matt praised, watching her closely. Her eyes were wounded holes of shock as she stared back at him. “Come on,” he coaxed, “let’s get you to the bunk, Kai. Can you walk?”

Kai found it impossible to speak. Just the touch of his hand sent a feeling of security through her. She tried to convince herself that Matt wouldn’t hurt her. But fear overrode her heart’s whispering.

His fingers wound gently around her upper arm. “Can you get up?”

She fought to shake off the shock of Boyce’s attack. But it wasimpossible to do. Huge tears rolled from her eyes as she stared across those scant inches at Matt. Her heart wrenched as she realized his eyes were suspiciously wet. Crying…he was crying for her. It shook her to her very soul when she realized the anguish she saw mirrored in Matt’s eyes was for her. Speech was impossible; her throat was raw and constricted. Kai gave a bare nod of her head. She was instantly rewarded with a smile from Matt that would have made a rainbow appear on a rainy day.

“That’s it. I’ll help you stand….”

She felt his grip become firm as she struggled to rise. Halfway up, her knees buckled. A gasp escaped her. Instantly Matt’s arms were there, steadying her and helping her to her feet. Clutching at the torn fabric of her sweat shirt, Kai leaned heavily against him, her head against his shoulder. Matt Taylor represented protection. Her fear fled, and she sagged into his arms, shutting her eyes tightly as she entrusted herself to him.

Matt pressed a kiss to her dark russet hair, aware of the faint scent of lilac. “Okay?”

Kai barely nodded, relying on his strength and guidance. Once she was safely on the bunk, he reluctantly released her. Picking up the jacket he had given her previously, Matt drew it around her hunched shoulders. “Here,” he said hoarsely, “put this on. Lie down, if you want.”

She raised her head, watching him straighten and walk to the door. A shiver of dread wove through her as she saw an awful light in his steel-gray eyes. The door was shut with finality behind him. Kai shakily pulled the torn sweat shirt off over her head while an ugly wave of humiliation washed through her. As she slipped on the lightweight blue jacket, she heard Boyce and Taylor arguing heatedly. No, she didn’t want to hear it! She hated violence. Numbly she worked the zipper with trembling fingers until it cooperated. Drawing the zipper up to her neck, she lay down, shutting her eyes tight. Suddenly she heard both men fighting. The sounds invaded her state of shock. Violence. That was all any of them knew. Covering her ears in an attempt to block out the noise, Kai sobbed. They were all little better than animals.

* * *

AFTER WHAT SEEMED an eternity to her, quiet settled in, with the exception of Taylor’s harsh voice issuing orders. Kai blinked back the tears. There was no sense in crying. She had to get control of herself even if she couldn’t control the situation she was embroiled in.

Sitting up, Kai tried to comb her disheveled hair into some semblance of order with her numb fingers. The door quietly opened, and she jerked her head up. It was Taylor. Relief shadowed her features as he closed the door behind him. Thank God it wasn’t Boyce. She stared at his bloodied and scraped knuckles. The nurse in her saw the slight swelling along his lower left jaw. He pushed several locks of hair off his forehead and straightened his shirt, which had been torn open in the struggle with Boyce. Despite her own trauma, she found herself reaching out to him. “Are—are you all right?”

“I should be asking you that question,” he muttered, tucking in the shirt. He walked over and sat down. But not as close as before. “Don’t worry, I’ll survive.”

“Won’t we all,” she whispered, drawing her knees up against her chest and huddling against the wall.

His look was apologetic. “Yeah, I suppose we will. It’s just the nature of that survival that I’m concerned about right now.” He leaned down, retrieving the sack he had brought with him. “Dinner.”

Her stomach rolled threateningly. “I—I can’t eat…not right now….”

Matt gave her a sharp glance. “You haven’t eaten all day.”

Kai stared back blankly. God, he could be blindly insensitive when he chose to be. What else could she expect? He was an animal incapable of humanity. That’s not true, her heart protested. One look into his concerned gray eyes and Kai felt a twinge of guilt about her feelings. She swallowed an angry retort laden with venom. He didn’t deserve it. “I’m not hungry.”

“Dammit, I don’t need you getting temperamental,” he said, ripping open the sack and pulling out one of the cold hamburgers.

“Temperamental?” Kai croaked, trying to find her voice. Rage surged through her, erasing her fear. “How would you feel if Boyce had pawed and drooled all over you? I’m not some animal you can beat into submission!” Disgust tinged her voice. “But that’s all you are, isn’t it? Little more than animals.” She swallowed back the tears that wanted to fall. “I take that back, even animals don’t treat one another like you’ve treated me.”

Matt winced inwardly, forcing himself to meet her accusing emerald eyes that were filled with fire. He had never envisioned that the problems entailed in this kidnapping would grow to such magnitude. He had to survive this undercover assignment. Two years ago it had been easy to remain impervious to human suffering. Not anymore. Maybe some of his hate and anger toward Garcia was abating. He stole a look at Kai. Or maybe it was because of her. He wasn’t sure.

“You’re right,” he admitted. He wanted to reach out and take her into his arms and simply hold her. To give her a measure of protection. Matt recalled those brief moments of contact with her before, the yielding softness of her body against the hard length of his own. “Boyce will leave you alone.”

“Well,” she goaded him, “if you’re the boss, it’s obvious Boyce doesn’t respect what you tell him.”

“He’s not in any shape to bother you again.” He didn’t enjoy fighting, but if he had to do it, he went in with the idea of winning. And Boyce had been the loser in this last skirmish. What he couldn’t deal with was the injured look in Kai’s face. The real damage had been done to her emotions and spirit. Nothing could take that back. He throttled his bitter hatred of Boyce. Soon, he promised himself, soon he would be in a position to nail Garcia and his cutthroat gang. That thought was his only consolation for the misery Kai was experiencing. Maybe at a later date she would understand.

He found himself wishing she would forgive him. But that was chasing an idealistic dream. Life consisted of one bitter interlude after another. He watched as Kai wrestled with the trauma. Striving to erase the terror he saw in her face, he tried to choose a benign topic of conversation.

“You have someone special in your life?”

Kai threw a look in his direction. Matt’s voice was gentle, without its previous harsh quality. “My father. Not that you really care.”

He half smiled, slowly unwrapping the hamburger. “I meant like a fiance or something.”

“Why? Were you going to bribe him for more money if I did?”

“No.” Matt shook his head. “It’s tough imagining a woman of your quality not having a man in her life, that’s all.”

Now Kai was confused. His tone was intimate, inviting her to try to relax. “My career gives me a great deal of satisfaction, Mr. Taylor.”

“Call me Matt,” he urged. “Tell me about your work.”

Kai hesitated. Just having him near mended her frayed nerves. He represented a barrier between her and Boyce. Suddenly she was grateful for his continuing presence. But the wary part of her reared its head. Did he want her just as Boyce did? Was he using different tactics to achieve the same goal? Kai searched his exhausted face. Her brain screamed, don’t trust him. Her heart won the battle.

“I’m a nurse in the navy. I work as a physical therapist at the Bethesda, Maryland hospital.”

“Why the navy?”

“My father was in the navy when he was younger, before he started wildcatting for a living. It felt right to follow in his footsteps.”

Matt smiled, dividing the hamburger and offering half of it to her. At first she stared at it and then reluctantly took it. A genuine smile crossed his face. Kindness was a rare commodity in his world, and it was a pleasure to exercise his more human side. Maybe he wasn’t a complete animal, after all. He bit into the hamburger. It was cold but edible.

“Try it,” he coaxed. “It doesn’t taste as bad as it looks.”

Her stomach was growling. She hadn’t eaten anything since the night before. Lifting the hamburger to her lips, she took a taste. Instantly nausea rosé in her throat. Kai shut her eyes, handing it back to him. “I’m sorry, I can’t….”

Matt retrieved it from her outstretched hand, placing it back in the sack. “How about some coffee instead? Maybe that will stay down,” he muttered in apology.

“I’ll try it.”

“It’s black.”

“That’s the way I like it.”

Their fingers grazed as he handed her the paper cup. Kai was acutely aware of the contact and quickly took the coffee. She sipped it cautiously.

“Is it going to stay down?”

The warm liquid slid down her raw throat, soothing it. “It tastes wonderful,” she murmured gratefully.

Her response pleased him for no particular reason. The huskiness in her voice was like balm to his darkened soul. A slight smile played on Matt’s mouth.

“Did you pick up your love of coffee in the navy?”

Kai nodded. “Actually, it was a matter of survival. If you didn’t drink it first, the coffee would come hunting you.”

Matt grinned, relieved to see that her humor was surfacing. “You still haven’t really answered my question. Why the navy? You’re a woman who could make it anywhere on her own terms, I’ll bet.”

Perhaps it was the coffee soothing Kai’s jittery feelings, making her feel more relaxed. Her shoulders drooped, and she released a sigh. “I wanted to see the world. I thought it would be a great way to meet people and at the same time be of service to others.”

“You enjoy helping people?”

“Yes. Why are you giving me that look?”

He shrugged. “It’s hard to believe someone born with a silver spoon in her mouth would admit to something like that.”

“We’re all supposed to be selfish snobs, is that it?”

“Don’t take what I said personally.”

“Oh, of course not. That’s like me saying a criminal is an animal, even though you’ve displayed some humanity. How do you like being classified like that?”

“I am one,” Matt said simply.

Kai quirked her lips. “Yes and no. You aren’t like Boyce, thank God.”

“I’m like him in many other ways.”

“Then why haven’t you tried to rape me?”

Matt glanced at her. “It’s not my style.”

Kai stared at his mouth. It was a mouth drawn in at the corners by…pain? She couldn’t identify the emotion. The timbre of his voice flowed through her. Yes, she could imagine his mouth on her lips, his hands intimately touching her. Kai shook herself, shocked at her thoughts. She had almost been raped by Boyce. How could she be thinking of lovemaking with Matt Taylor less than an hour later? Agitated, Kai remained silent, mulling over the complexities. She sipped the coffee for nearly five minutes before breaking the silence.

“You have a streak of humanity in you,” she told him quietly. “Maybe all criminals aren’t alike.”

“Like all rich people aren’t snobs?”

“Exactly.”

“Maybe we’re both horses of a different color.”

“I know I am,” Kai murmured. “And if my instincts serve me, so are you.”

“The lady runs on her feelings, eh?”

“Don’t most of us?”

He enjoyed her indignation. “Don’t nurses have to be pretty objective so that they don’t get hurt while dealing with their patients’ suffering?”

Kai grimaced. “Who told you that?”

“Just an observation.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know a nurse alive that hasn’t shed tears for the patients in her care. And there are times when we want to yell back at them like they’re yelling at us. Or cursing us because we’re asking them to move their bodies which are already in pain. It’s a thankless job sometimes.” Her voice lowered. “But a worthwhile one, I think.”

He reached over, grazing her cheek, erasing the last tear. “You’re easily touched, Brat.”

Kai froze, stunned by his simple gesture. Matt’s strong fingers had touched her cheek like the kiss of a butterfly, and her flesh tingled afterward. Just the way he uttered the nickname “Brat” made it an endearment meant for her alone. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Kai forced out in a whisper, “Who are you?”

Matt dropped his gaze to avoid Kai’s pleading look. In that instant, he wanted to kiss away those tears forming in her eyes. And kiss her deliciously shaped mouth that was begging to be caressed. With a supreme effort, he tore down the burgeoning dream of someday loving Kai. She was a woman of immense emotional capacity. Money could neither buy nor make the unique person who sat before him. Only life experiences had made her special.

“Who am I?” Matt shrugged. “Two years ago I might have been able to tell you who I was. I can’t anymore.”

Kai tilted her head, detecting carefully hidden pain in his voice. It was reflected in the depths of his charcoal-gray eyes, now opaque. She watched Matt shake his head as if trying to cast off a haunting memory.

“Who hurt you?”

Matt regarded her for a moment. “I lost someone two years ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

Silence engulfed them. Suddenly not hungry, he stared down at the half-eaten hamburger. “She was quite a woman,” he admitted quietly. He raised his head, meeting her emeral gaze. “A little like you. Special.”

“Ask Frank, and he’ll call me something other than special,” she parried grimly.

“Family jealousy?”

“That’s part of it. I wasn’t really raised with that silver spoon you talked about. The one oil well dad brought in when I was born made him ten million. He turned all that money into another well and sunk a dry hole. I was fifteen before he was financially stable. Even then, we weren’t really rich.”

“So you didn’t go to the rich kids’ school to become a snob?”

Kai shook her head. “No, good old public school like everyone else. When I wasn’t in school, I was out in the oil fields with my dad. I was at his side many a time.”

Matt grinned, seeing her in a new and interesting light. “So you were a tomboy?”

“With pigtails and freckles to boot.”

He looked closely at Kai and saw a sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her eyes were breathtakingly alive as she spoke of her past. Matt found himself caught up in her life story. “When your father married again, you inherited a new mother and a couple of half sisters and a brother?”

“When Vera Holt married my father, her children knew they were rich beyond their wildest dreams. They took advantage of my dad’s generosity.” Kai pursed her lips. “And they tried to play me against him. It hasn’t stopped to this day.”

“Is that why you joined the service? To escape the family pressures?”

His perception was unsettling. Kai’s brows dipped. “Yes. I’ll be the first to admit I’m a chicken when it comes to family dissension. I felt the best solution to the problem was to leave.” She gave him a sad smile. “Every year I come home on my thirty days of leave and visit dad.”

“You could have handled things differently, you know.”

“How?”

“Stayed and fought for your position in the family.”

Her green eyes grew tender. “I’m not good at fighting for myself. I learned that long ago. I’m great at helping other people fight their battles, but I don’t enjoy manipulating people to get what I want. If you love someone, there shouldn’t be a need to fight for the right to share him.”

Matt nodded thoughtfully, digesting her statement. Kai Easton was like a well of unfathomable depth; he saw the world in simpler terms. “Sometimes, though, you have to give plenty to the person you love,” he countered, thinking back to his own marriage, before it had been condemned to death. “Haven’t you ever had to fight for the man you loved?”

Kai’s expression became less readable. “I thought I was in love twice in my life. Both times with military officers who were pilots.”

There was hurt lingering in her eyes. “But you didn’t marry?” How could any man allow her to escape?

She laughed ruefully. “Let’s put it this way. They loved their aircraft more than me. Both of them were carrier pilots. They lived to fly, Matt. How could I compete with the sky and their planes? I did fight for their love. But I lost.”

“Yeah, a woman never wants to come between a pilot and his plane, that’s for sure,” he muttered. “A plane is like a mother-in-law. You get one with every marriage if you marry a pilot. I know. My brother is a Marine Corps aviator who’s currently stationed aboard a naval aircraft carrier. He lives, eats and breathes flying. More than one woman has fallen for him, only to find out later that he loved flying more than he did her. I know what you’re talking about.”

Kai gave him a strange look. “Your brother’s in the military? And you’re making a living as a kidnapper?”

“Always a bad apple in every barrel. Didn’t you know that?”

“I may be ignorant, but I’m not naive,” Kai countered strongly. “It’s hard to believe that if your brother is so straight, you’d turn out like this.”

“Like I said, every family has a skeleton in the closet. I’m it.”

“But I hear the pride in your voice when you talk about your brother.”

“Oh, I’m proud of him, all right. He’s top stick in his squadron. One hell of a pilot. He’s so damn good that they’re going to send him to test-pilot school next year. That’s really something.”

“Did he ever marry?”

Matt grinned. “No, he’s smart enough to realize that his love affair with flying would interfere with a marriage. It’s a matter of choice to him, like it was to those guys you dated. He’s not celibate, as I said. Cal always has women around whenever his carrier pulls into a port.”

Kai gave him a sour smile. “I wish I had had the sense to realize that about carrier pilots before I made my fatal mistakes.”

“I think they were both fools to pass you up,” Matt said quietly. “Any man in his right mind would grab you and never let you go.”

A warm blush swept up into Kai’s face. Leaning back, she felt the accumulated tension flowing out of her limbs. “As you get older, you get wiser. No more relationships with carrier pilots, believe me. I learned my lesson the hard way.” The silence was ebbing between them. “Why is it so easy to talk to you?”

“Chemistry, maybe,” he murmured, watching the tension drain from her face. “Feeling better?”

“Yes.”

“Well enough to eat?”

“N-no.”

His gray eyes grew dark. God, why did Boyce have to attack her? There was no need. Matt studied Kai closely. She was a fighter. In this case, a good trait to possess. Her survival might hinge on her ability to think in a crisis.

“How about more coffee? Looks like you’ve finished off that first cup in a hurry.”

“Please.”

Her hand trembled as she held the cup, and he wanted to reassure her that everything would be all right. Hopefully in another twenty-four hours Kai would be home, in a safe and comfortable environment. But he couldn’t say that. He couldn’t promise her anything.

“I’ll bet your hospital patients think you’re pretty special,” Matt said, circumventing the anxiety he saw registering in her eyes.

“They become like family to me for that three to six months when they’re recovering in the orthopedics ward.”

“Then you deal with a lot of the military men who are wounded or injured in action?”

“Yes, mostly pilots who ejected from their planes or guys who were injured on the decks of the aircraft carriers. Both are terribly dangerous jobs. When we get them, they’re all doped up with painkillers and usually heading for the first of three to seven operations while they’re with us.”

“Not something I’d ever want to experience,” Matt muttered.

“But you’d risk a prison sentence for kidnapping. I find your choice hard to understand.”

He shrugged his broad shoulders, wanting to divert her from her need to know more about him. The less she knew, the better he would be able to maintain his cover in order to complete this job. “So you patch up men’s broken bodies? It’s got to be a natural high to see them get out of those hospital beds and walk again.”

The first genuine smile curved her lips. “There’s no greater feeling. Unless it would be to have a baby.” Kai ran her slender fingers through her hair, trying to tame it into order. She longed for a brush or a comb.