Her Forever Family
His handsome head snapped back at the tone in her voice. Good! After what he’d put his son through, she wanted to shake the confident man till his teeth rattled!
“Since time appears to be money to you, Doctor Stone, I’ll be brief. First, and most important, I want to thank you for bringing Ethan safely home to me.” Lamar pointed toward the E.R. “That boy is the center of my life and I’ve been sick with worry these past few days. You righted my world when you hoisted him out of that canyon and I’ll never forget your bravery.”
Now, as she bothered to look beneath the very appealing exterior, it did appear he hadn’t slept in a while. Okay, it was Ali’s turn to stare humbly at her steel-toed boots. Before she could ask for forgiveness for being a jerk, he hurried on.
“Second, I believe you called this meeting.” He fished a scrap of paper from his pocket and unfolded it. “This says you wanted to have a word with me.” He looked at his heavy, gold wristwatch. “I need to be with my son, so please make it quick.”
The small amount of guilt she’d been feeling toward the famous linebacker crumbled like a vanilla wafer between Simba’s molars.
“I’m a psychotherapist and I deal primarily with kids who’ve suffered traumatic loss or abuse—”
He held his palm outward to silence her. “Ethan already has a therapist, several in fact. If you were going to pitch your services—”
“Your son’s condition is not in my area of expertise,” Ali blocked his interruption with one of her own. “But it took me less than sixty seconds to realize how terrified Ethan is of being left alone or, worse, being sent away. I think it’s unconscionable that your therapist suggested you allow your son to attend that wilderness camp. Any idiot who feels that was the proper way to treat Ethan should be strung up and used for a punching bag.”
“Uuf!” He bent at the waist and grabbed his gut.
She had no idea how to interpret his action. “Are you in pain?” she asked the obvious.
“Only if you consider a low blow painful.”
Lamar stood tall. He folded arms any man would envy, stretching his black T-shirt tight across a broad chest. Then he raised his chin and stared her down from a height that forced her to look up. His eyes were dangerous slits of blue ice.
“I guess I deserved it since I’m the unconscionable idiot who thought sending Ethan to camp was a good idea.”
Ali’s belly quaked in a way that never happened when she was suspended a couple thousand feet above the earth from the bottom of a rescue line. This person looming over her was both manly and menacing, celebrated in a sport where intimidation was a minimum daily requirement. It was his right to call the shots on treatment. Ethan was his son.
She should back down, apologize for overstepping her bounds. Still, Ali completely disagreed with the man’s approach and wouldn’t sleep a wink tonight if she thought the boy could be sent back into a dangerous situation.
“Sir, I respect you as Ethan’s father and support your right to make decisions about his future. That said, since I was engaged in his rescue I have every intention of following up on the welfare of my patient. I’ll be keeping my ear to the ground for any news on this case.”
“Take a number.” Lamar walked away from any further discussion.
“Simba, heel,” Ali called. She hurried to catch the aggravating man. “Wait up, Lamar!”
“Going my way, Stone?” He didn’t as much as glance over his shoulder.
“As a matter of fact, I am. I told Ethan I’d be right back.”
“I don’t know what he found so funny about that.”
She smiled to think she’d coaxed an appropriate response from Ethan. “He was amused?”
“Laughed out loud. And with his weird sense of humor that’s something he doesn’t do often. What did you whisper to him, anyway?”
“I told him Simba and I needed to go for a walk before one of us marked our territory right across the toes of your handmade boots.”
Chapter Three
Ten days had passed and Ethan was stubbornly nursing a grudge.
“Son, you’ve got to leave that room sooner or later. Please come down and join me for dinner,” Ben called from the top of the stairwell. Since Ethan could detect a pin dropping, there was little doubt he’d heard his father’s request.
That Big Bend business with the camp and the helicopter rescue was over and done with, behind them forever. The publicity had died down, most of Ethan’s scrapes were healed and the swelling in his ankle was gone. But the boy hadn’t been outside the threshold of his bedroom since the E.R. experience.
Ben knew there was no bribe he could offer or threat he could make that would get his son to budge. Short of starving Ethan into cooperation there was little to do but give it time, the one thing Ben had in short supply.
As much as it irked him to admit it, that know-it-all doctor had been right when she’d called him an unconscionable idiot! Coaxing Ethan into the camping experience seemed to have set them back months of progress. Ben was not only running out of time, he was running out of places to turn for help.
His visits to online forums revealed patient coping methods he never dreamed anybody would attempt. Reading the posts by self-proclaimed “Aspies” was heartbreaking. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to save his son from sinking further into the depths of the bizarre disorder.
“Ethan? We may have company later.” Ben was winging it, determined to get a reaction.
There was no reply, nor could he detect volume from the television. Self-injury was a concern since Ethan had done his share of experimental cutting. So, complete quiet in the rooms upstairs was never a good sign.
“Ethan!” Ben called loudly, as he traveled the hallway toward the rooms where privacy was no longer his son’s right. The last shred of patience snapped as Ben’s shoulders filled the open doorway. “Answer me this instant!”
Ethan jumped at the sudden intrusion, brushed away his earphones and flung himself against the headboard of the bed where he’d been sitting.
“What is it?” he demanded. “Why are you always scaring me like that?”
The boy’s abrupt tone and disrespectful comments were almost intolerable for Ben. He’d been reared with strict rules of etiquette and sportsmanship, had embraced them all his life. In his head he knew Ethan’s rudeness was a symptom of anxiety—the boy probably wasn’t even aware of the effect of his tone and choice of vocabulary—but the words penetrated Ben’s sense of decency like darts pierced a bull’s-eye. Every medical professional he’d spoken with had warned him to choose his battles. On the worry scale, disrespect was fairly low compared to what seemed like a budding case of agoraphobia. Ethan’s refusal to leave his rooms had to be brought under control, but Ben was at his wit’s end.
How could he consider moving into the political arena when his son was digging his heels in deeper every day, refusing any help? Being the single parent of a boy whose future had gone from promising to unpredictable had meant putting all personal dreams on hold. Possibly forever. How did a motivational speaker put a positive spin on that?
“I asked you a question,” Ethan snapped.
“I beg your pardon.” Ben attempted to contain his aggravation. A sarcastic tone would only confuse Ethan’s warped decoding process. “I’ve been trying to get your attention.”
“Well, now you have it.” Ethan tightly folded his arms across his chest, unaware of his own body language, much less anyone else’s. The lack of ability to send or interpret a nonverbal cue had been one of the earliest signs of trouble.
“Mrs. Alvarez made your favorite before she left for Mexico. Chicken pot pie,” Ben tempted. “How about coming down to eat while it’s hot? I thought we might invite company over later, maybe watch that History Channel documentary again.”
Ethan leaned toward his night table, opened the top drawer and pulled out a cellophane package of peanut butter crackers. He raised the snack for his father to see, then tossed it back into the drawer where he obviously hoarded treats. “No, thanks,” he muttered.
“Okay, that covers dinner. How about visitors?”
Ethan sighed, unfolding long legs that would have made him a great athlete once upon a time. He stood and turned his back, giving Ben a look at dirty hair flattened to his head. After a few steps toward his bathroom, Ethan glanced over his shoulder.
“Listen, Dad. You don’t have to keep making all this effort, pretending you’re not mad at me for what happened.”
“You mean with the camp?” They’d covered this territory a number of times. Ben hoped the topic was closed, but nothing was ever completely finished with Ethan.
The boy’s chin dropped to his chest. After several long moments he looked up, his face flushed with unspoken pain.
“I mean with Mom.”
Ben shut his eyes against the comment. He shook his head, exhausted from the ever-present subject. “Please, don’t go there again. Not with me anyway.”
“Then with who?” Ethan demanded.
“You name it! There are any number of excellent therapists willing to come see you if you won’t go to them. I’ve had calls from Doctor Ackerson, Doctor Cooke and Doctor Hunter. They’re all anxious to hear from you.”
“What about Doctor Stone?” Ethan squinted, watching for a reaction.
Ben couldn’t help admiring his son’s sense of timing.
“You’re kidding, of course,” Ben answered.
Ethan shook his head. “I liked her,” he said simply, then moved toward his dressing room, through another threshold without a door. Physically beyond his father’s sight and emotionally beyond his comprehension.
Ali parked in the circular driveway of the three-story mansion that showcased Texas limestone and Mexican stucco. The foundation for the home had been blasted from a hillside and then positioned to appear as if it sprung up naturally out of the rock. In no hurry to go inside, she moved to the edge of the front terrace designed with an overhang facing west where a brilliant sunset was in progress.
“Check it out, Simba.”
Alert eyes followed the direction her mistress pointed, as if understanding perfectly.
Ali had always been fascinated by the setting of the sun, a dazzling kaleidoscope unique for each day. Nothing was more breathtaking than a long line flight during the last twenty minutes of daylight. And she’d prefer the dangers of an air drop mission any day over the one Benjamin Lamar had implored her to consider.
“If this is the view Ethan has from his bedroom, it’s no wonder he won’t come out.” She turned away from the stunning vista and moved to stand before the home’s front entry with Simba close by. The dog was truly a gift from God, a family member who could never be taken away and perfect in her inability to judge the failures of her mistress.
Three sharp raps of a brass knocker brought footsteps and a large blurry figure to the inside of the frosted glass. One of the double doors swung wide and then immediately closed to a four-inch opening.
“Was it really necessary for you to bring that animal?” Benjamin Lamar spoke though the gap.
“It’s wonderful to see you again, too. Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me on such short notice.” Ali hoped a snappy response would mask her self-doubt from the man so full of self-assurance.
“I asked a simple question.” And evidently had no intention of inviting her inside until she responded.
“The answer is yes. Simba goes everywhere with me because she’s part of the team. And since rescues can’t be scheduled like football games, we’re always together and prepared, even during office hours at the clinic.”
“Can you put her back in your car or tie her up outside?”
Simba growled. A hand signal silenced her, then Ali offered what she knew would be a condescending smile and shook her head.
“Listen, Mr. Lamar, you all but begged me to give this a shot, so you’re going to have to be flexible on this one point. Simba won’t make a move without my command, she doesn’t shed and she hasn’t had an accident on the floor since she was six weeks old. If you’re going to trust me with your son, then you ought to trust me with my own dog.”
A look of resignation crossed his tanned face. He stepped back and opened the door, his hand sweeping toward the foyer, an invitation to enter. Ali inhaled slowly and moved across the welcome mat. She was greeted by a room with soaring ceilings, hand-dyed rugs over a mesquite parquet floor and cozy French country furnishings. She recalled reading his late wife had been into interior design.
“You have a beautiful place.” She admired the wall of windows opposite the entry hall. “What a sensational view.”
“Thank you,” he answered humbly. “It’s way too big for just two of us, but it’s the only home Ethan’s ever known. Getting him to change his socks is a chore most days, so changing our residence is out of the question for now.”
Alison nodded, understanding. An Asperger kid was a creature of rigidity and order. Keeping life calm meant holding change to a minimum. His mother’s death must have sent Ethan into a nosedive. He seemed to feel somehow responsible, so it was no wonder he wouldn’t drop the subject that had rocked his world. Having lost her own mother to family violence when Ali was only nine years old, Ethan’s irrational sense of accountability was a belief she could relate to on so many levels.
“I’m sorry I was rude at the door,” Lamar apologized, keeping one eye on Simba’s whereabouts. “I really do appreciate you driving out here this evening. Have you had your dinner yet? Our housekeeper makes a tasty chicken pie from scratch, but Ethan turned his nose up to it. What a shocker.”
Ali heard the frustration in his words. A father wanted answers, but very often there were none. Just as there were few alternatives when living with the chaos of mental illness. And the patient always seemed to hold the trump card, the threat of self-destruction.
“Thanks for the offer, but I had a power shake on the way over.” She curled her arm in a body builder’s pose, pointed to her biceps and enjoyed his nod of approval. “So, where do I find that son of yours?”
“His suite is upstairs.”
“Suite?” She felt her eyebrows rise.
“It’s a big house, remember?” Lamar explained. “The area was originally intended for out-of-town guests. When Ethan was old enough to need more space, we thought it was a good idea for him to have a game room where his buddies could hang out. Unfortunately, my son’s friends can’t tolerate his OCD, and instead of games his shelves are lined with specimen samples.”
“Specimens?” Her lips twisted like she’d just sucked a slice of lemon. Even in med school dead things floating in formaldehyde had creeped her out.
“You’ll see” was Lamar’s ominous explanation, but the sparkle in his blue, blue eyes indicated humor.
He pointed toward the steps that wound upward two flights. “Ethan’s expecting you. He’s on the second floor.”
“How will I recognize his suite?”
“Just look for the rooms with no doors on the hinges. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”
“This may take a while,” Ali warned as she shifted the weight of her oversize bag and started up the steps.
“It usually does when the meter’s running, Doctor Stone.”
She rolled her eyes as she trudged up the stairs with Simba close behind. Of course, Benjamin Lamar would make sure he had the last word.
Just like a politician.
Chapter Four
Ben watched as the lady and her dog climbed the carpeted steps. The only other time he’d seen Alison Stone she’d been in a rescue worker’s one-piece jumpsuit. The zippered pockets from chest to ankle had been stuffed lumpy with recovery gear that hid her womanly curves. With her lustrous hair caught up beneath a safety helmet, it was no wonder he’d mistaken her for one of the guys.
But today in jangly silver jewelry, a bright turquoise sleeveless blouse and perfectly fitted jeans there was no doubt about her gender. She was one hundred percent female and very easy on the eye.
He cleared his throat to whisk away the direction his mind was wandering. The slight sound drew the attention of the dog. It stopped at the landing to turn a dark, searching gaze downward. Ben pointed toward Simba’s attractive mistress, narrowed his eyes and mouthed the word “Shoo!” The animal complied but Ben felt certain she’d made the decision on her own and it had nothing to do with his command.
“Father, am I ever going to have a say in the direction of my life again?” He prayed aloud as he’d done a million times since the day he’d returned from Theresa’s memorial and come back to the house to face Ethan’s problems. Alone.
With time, the aloneness had turned to solitude and eventually the home so filled with his late wife’s touch had become comforting. Where Ben found refuge in their tasteful surroundings, Ethan continually used reminders of his mother as reason to resurrect the past. Certain he bore guilt for distracting her during a rainy drive, Ethan felt he deserved the blame for her death. The assumption was as wrong as wrong could be, but it had become part of Ethan’s obsessive thinking, a behavior that had Ben clutching the tail end of his frayed rope.
“Father, for forty-two years You’ve blessed me with the ability to face any challenge.” Ben continued his one-sided conversation as he headed across the foyer and into the fragrant kitchen. “By now I thought we’d be operating on a Texas-size scale. But instead of wrestling legislative issues I’m struggling to get my kid to sit at the dinner table with me. What’s up with that? And if the folks who used to pay their hard-earned money to hear me speak could see me now, they wouldn’t be lining up to vote, they’d be lining up for refunds.”
Ben shook his head at his inadequacy, slipped quilted mitts on his hands and scooped a cookie sheet from the hot oven. He flipped one of the single-serving pies upside-down on a stoneware plate, removed the baking tin and pierced the flaky bottom crust with a fork. Steam drifted upward, lasting only a few seconds before dissipating into air stirred by the fan blades slowly rotating overhead.
You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Ben recalled the words from the book of James.
“Okay, Lord, I get it,” he admitted. “This is temporary and there’s a bigger picture that I can’t see. But gaining a first down would be helpful now and again.”
Too impatient to take his plate to the table, Ben shoveled a mouthful of chicken and vegetables through parted lips. He was immediately reminded with scalding consequences that a cool-down moment and a proper grace are helpful now and again, too.
Ali walked through Ethan’s rooms, amazed at the affluence that was basically lost on the boy who really only cared, that is to say obsessed, about one thing.
Rocks.
After a brief reunion they’d struck a deal, or at least she thought so. Ethan would brush his teeth and comb his hair within ten minutes and in exchange Ali would allow him to show off some of his specimens, which turned out to be an impressive collection of core samples. Putting a time constraint on Ethan’s activities would give her a starting point toward measuring his OCD rituals and then she’d begin to strategize on how to hold them to a dull roar. She glanced at the large-faced, loudly ticking alarm clock she’d brought with her and noted his first deadline was approaching.
“Ethan, time’s about up,” she called without turning in the direction of his dressing area. Maybe if he was cooperative she’d suggest his father reconsider the sanctity of the bathroom and agree to re-hang the door.
“The water hasn’t been running long enough,” Ethan answered, referring to one of his requirements that had to be fulfilled before he could begin to brush his teeth.
“You can let it run all night for all I care, but if you’re not finished and back in here minus the stinky breath in three more minutes, Simba and I are going downstairs to visit with your dad and we’re not coming back up tonight.”
He poked his face around the door frame and held up five fingers. “I need a little longer.”
“Nope.” Ali shook her head. She had to take a hard line right out of the gate or she wouldn’t have any wiggle room when it came time to ease up. “Ethan, it’s been a long workday for me and right now Simba needs a walk more than you need to purge the plumbing. When time’s up we’ll be downstairs for a few more minutes. Otherwise, we’ll give this a try again tomorrow. If you don’t want the same results, I suggest you take care of personal hygiene before we arrive.”
“There’s no need to be difficult,” he complained. “I don’t remember you being this way before.”
As she had during their first encounter, Alison noted Ethan’s speech seemed normal, even above average for teens. She’d learned early in her research that language is one of the most diverse areas of autism, ranging from nonverbal to highly skilled. And while Ethan communicated well, he processed information and reacted with the behaviors of a boy half his age.
“I’m not the one being difficult, kiddo. Like I told your dad, if I’m going to spend my time driving out here, then I expect some flexibility from the two of you in return.”
“If I’d known you were so bossy, I wouldn’t have asked to see you.”
“Is that a fact?” When her young patients wanted to spar, Ali was happy to oblige them, keeping it on their level. “Well, welcome to reality where most of the world learns to adjust. I’m here to work with you, not cater to you.”
“You sound just like him.” Ethan jerked his head in the direction of the hallway. “You’re not going to start quoting his positivisms at me, are you?”
A swarm of barbed responses tumbled inside her brain, but she held them in check. While she hoped Benjamin Lamar would share her position on the treatment of his son, any further like-mindedness would probably be a fluke. Ali couldn’t imagine finding much more in common with a man so well known for his conservative affiliations and views. Ethan’s comparison was definitely not complimentary.
He stared, waiting for her response.
“Your insult is duly noted,” she quipped. “And if I think of something you need to hear, I’ll quote Mickey Mouse if it appeals to me.”
The final few seconds ticked away and the old-fashioned bell began to clang on the top of the red enameled clock.
“So, will you wait a little longer on me?”
Knowing Ethan would likely interpret the expression incorrectly, Ali controlled the urge to pfffft at the comment.
“No, sir.” She gestured for Simba to follow and both headed for the door. “Tomorrow is another day,” Ali called over her shoulder. “And if you’re interested, the source of that quote is Scarlett O’Hara.”
Ben tipped the bottom of his glass toward the ceiling and waited for the last, stubborn chunk of ice to drop into his waiting mouth. His pallet was roasted from the molten chicken pie, but two frosty glasses of tea had eased the burn. The echo of footsteps against the wood floor caused him to turn his face toward the hallway that connected the grand entry to the spacious kitchen.
“Mr. Lamar?” The doctor called out and stepped into his field of vision.
Clunk! A frozen, pointy projectile thumped Ben’s right eye followed by a cold dribble and then the smack of a mushy wet blob.
He squinted hard against the blow of the ice and then the sting of the fat lemon wedge. Though his eyes were tightly closed, his ears clearly detected snickering.
He groped for the napkin he’d tossed beside his empty plate.
“I’m sorry if I startled you.” More snickering. “Do you need help, a bib maybe?”
He pressed one corner of the linen square to his eyeball and used another corner to soak up the moisture trickling down the side of his face. Ugh. Cold.
“Thank you for your generous offer,” his voice was muffled by the thin layer of fabric. “I think I can manage this.”