“Thank you, but it isn’t a major problem.” All she had to do was somehow make a graceful exit without anyone noticing that she was in full retreat. It wasn’t Jeff; she was long over him. But the baby that Helene carried was a reminder of a pain that she’d never gotten over, of the baby she’d lost. She’d wanted her baby so badly….
Behind them the double doors opened again, and Claire stiffened as Virginia rushed toward her, gushing false sympathy. “Claire, darling, I’m so sorry! I really had no idea Jeff and Helene would be here; Lloyd invited them, and I was as horribly surprised as you. You poor dear, are you very upset? After all, we all know how crushed you were—”
Maxwell Benedict straightened beside her, and Claire sensed his acute interest. Hot color burned in her cheeks as she broke in before Virginia could say anything more. “Really, Virginia, there’s no need to apologize. I’m not upset at all.” The casual coolness of her voice was utterly convincing, even though it was a complete lie. She had died a little inside when she’d heard that Helene was pregnant, and the sight of Jeff’s wife, so glowingly lovely and so proudly pregnant, had twisted her heart. She was still haunted by a sense of loss; that was the one pain she couldn’t seem to conquer.
Virginia hesitated, disconcerted by the total lack of concern Claire was showing. “Well, if you’re certain you’re all right … I had visions of you crying your heart out, all alone out here.”
“But she isn’t all alone,” Maxwell Benedict said smoothly, and Claire started as his warm arm slid around her shoulders. Automatically she began to move away, but his fingers tightened warningly on her bare shoulder, and she forced herself to stand still. “Nor is she crying, though I’d be delighted to offer her my shoulder if she felt so inclined. Well, Claire? Do you think you want to cry?”
Part of her disliked the easy way he’d used her first name, when they had only just met, but another part of her was grateful to him for giving her this opportunity to keep her pride and not let Virginia guess that her ploy had been successful, after all, though not in the way she’d planned. Tilting her head up to him the way she’d often seen her sister Martine do when intent on charming someone, Claire gave him her most brilliant smile. “I think I’d rather dance.”
“Then dance you shall, my dear. Excuse us, won’t you?” he said politely to Virginia, ushering Claire past their disappointed hostess and back into the house. After the relative peace of the terrace, the party seemed that much more crowded and noisy. The alcohol fumes mingled with the cigarette smoke, stifling her, but the music from the stereo rose above the clash of conversation and laughter, and they joined the group of people who were trying to dance in the middle of the room. Space was so limited that swaying in one spot was really all that could be done. Claire started to suggest that they forget about dancing, but he clasped her hand in his and drew her to him with his other arm, and she decided to dance this one dance. He wasn’t holding her close despite the press of the crowd, and again she sensed the strict control that seemed to govern his actions. Perhaps she’d misjudged him, she mused. Just because his face was as precisely sculpted as that of a Greek idol, she’d automatically assumed that he was nothing but a shallow playboy, but a playboy wouldn’t have that cool control. Perhaps it was his British reserve that she sensed.
“How long have you been in the States?” she asked, necessarily moving closer to him in order to be heard.
A rather whimsical smile curved his beautiful mouth. “How could you tell I’m not a native Texan?”
She chuckled. “A lucky guess.”
“Actually, I have a hybrid accent. When I go home for holidays or vacations, my family constantly complains that I talk too slowly.”
He hadn’t answered her original question, but she let it go. It was too noisy for conversation, anyway. She let her mind drift back to her present situation, and she considered ways of handling it that would be the least awkward for all of them. She certainly didn’t want to embarrass either Jeff or Helene; they had been as victimized by Virginia’s petty vengeance as Claire.
Just as the dance ended, someone called his name. Claire took advantage of his distraction to say politely, “Thank you for the dance, Mr. Benedict,” and walk away, while he was effectively trapped by the woman who had demanded his attention. Her mouth quirked in wry humor. It must be hell for him to have women constantly yapping at his heels; poor man, he probably suffered terribly … when he wasn’t taking full advantage of it.
Out of the corner of her eye, Claire saw Virginia watching her closely, and conducting a sotto voce conversation with another woman, who was also eyeing her with intense curiosity. Gossips! She decided at that moment to defuse the situation by confronting it head-on. With her head high and a smile on her face, Claire walked up to Jeff and Helene.
Just before she reached them, she saw Jeff stiffen and an expression of alarm cross his face; he’d noticed the glitter of her eyes and probably wondered if she were going to cause a scandal with one of the passionate scenes that he remembered so well. With determined effort Claire kept the smile pasted to her lips. She had obviously made a mistake in avoiding anything except the most casual companionship with men in the five years since their divorce; her mother and sister thought she still pined for Jeff, and evidently Jeff shared that opinion, along with Virginia and the rest of their social circle. She didn’t know what to do about that now, except try to be casual and polite, to show that it really meant nothing to her at all.
“Hello,” she said brightly, addressing herself mostly to Helene. “I think Virginia invited the three of us to provide the entertainment for the evening, but I’m not willing to play her game. Shall we spoil her fun?”
Helene was quick; she put a smile in place. “I’d like to spoil her face; but by all means, let’s be civilized.”
As other people drifted close enough to hear what they were saying, Claire launched into a gay account of a recent shopping trip when everything had gone wrong. Helene countered with her own tale of hazardous encounters while shopping, and by that time Jeff had recovered enough to contribute by asking after Claire’s parents and her sister’s family. It was so civilized that she wanted to laugh aloud, but at the same time strain began to tighten her throat. How long would they have to keep this up? Pride was one thing, but standing here chatting with Helene, who was even more beautiful in her pregnancy, was almost more than she could bear.
Then a warm hand touched the small of her back, and she glanced up in surprise as Max Benedict appeared at her side. “I’m sorry I was detained,” he apologized smoothly. “Are you ready to leave, Claire?”
He made it sound as if they had other plans, and Claire was desperate enough to seize the opportunity of escape. “Yes, of course. Max, I’d like you to meet Helene and Jeff Halsey.”
He took over, all suave courtesy as he murmured his name, inclined his head over Helene’s hand and shook Jeff’s. Claire almost laughed at the dazed look in Helene’s winsome blue eyes. She might be happily married and very pregnant, but that didn’t make her immune to Max Benedict’s charm! Then he glanced at his watch and murmured, “We really must go, dear.”
“Go” was exactly what Claire wanted to do. With an effort she kept a smile on her face as she listened to Max say all the polite things; then his hand applied a steady pressure on her back as he walked with her to the bedroom, where she’d put her small evening bag. She dug it out from under a tangle of other bags, lacy shawls, a few unglamorous raincoats and several mink jackets. He stood in the doorway waiting for her; he didn’t say anything, and Claire wasn’t able to read anything in his expression. Why had he rescued her? It had certainly been a deliberate action on his part, but she couldn’t think of any reason why he should have made the effort. After all, they were complete strangers; the brief conversation they’d had on the terrace hadn’t been enough to qualify them as even casual acquaintances. She was more than a little wary of him, and all her defenses sprang into place.
But first there was an exit to make, and getting out of there took priority over everything else right then. What better way to do it than on the arm of the most breathtaking man whom she’d ever seen? Handsome, charming men had a few uses, after all; they weren’t much on permanency, but they were great for making impressions.
A curiously cynical smile touched his perfectly carved lips, as if he’d read her mind. “Shall we?” he asked, holding out his hand.
She left the party on his arm, but as soon as the door was closed behind them she stepped away from his touch. The streetlights spread their silvery light over the lawn and the tangle of cars parked in the driveway and along the street, obscuring the faint stars that blinked overhead. The spring night was warm and humid as the young season celebrated its birth with an exuberant burst of heat, determined to banish the last of the winter chill. A bird chirped shyly in a tree, then fell silent as their footsteps on the sidewalk disturbed it.
“Did the bitch set that up deliberately?” he asked in such a calm, cool voice that for a moment Claire wasn’t certain she’d heard the steel in his tone. She glanced up and found his face undisturbed by any hint of temper, and decided that she’d been mistaken.
“It was awkward, but not tragic,” she finally said, unwilling to share with this stranger even a hint of what it had actually cost her. She’d never been able to let anyone see what went on inside her mind; the more something hurt, the more she retreated behind a meaningless smile and blank, immovable remoteness. It was a trait that, when she’d been a child, had infuriated and frustrated her mother, who had been determined that her youngest daughter would follow in the footsteps of her other daughter, who was bright and beautiful and talented and could melt stone with her sunny laughter. But the more she tried to force Claire out of her backwardness, the more Claire had retreated, until eventually Alma Westbrook had given up.
Suddenly aware from the silence that had fallen between them that her thoughts had wandered again, Claire stopped on the sidewalk and held out her hand. “Thank you for your help, Mr. Benedict. It was nice meeting you.” Her tone was polite but final, making it clear that she considered the evening at an end.
He took her hand but didn’t shake it; instead his fingers clasped hers lightly, warmly, a touch that didn’t demand anything. “Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night, Claire?” he asked, then added, “Please,” as if he sensed the refusal that she’d been about to make.
She hesitated, vaguely disarmed by that “please,” as if he didn’t know that he could have the company of almost any woman he wanted, whenever he wanted. Almost. “Thank you, but no.”
His eyebrow lifted slightly, and she saw the glitter of his vivid eyes. “Are you still carrying a torch for your ex-husband?”
“That’s none of your business, Mr. Benedict.”
“You didn’t say that a moment ago. I rather thought you were relieved by my interference in something that is now none of my business,” he said coolly.
Her head lifted, and she took her hand from his. “Payback time, is it? Very well. No, I’m not still in love with Jeff.”
“That’s good. I don’t like rivals.”
Claire looked at him in disbelief, then laughed. She didn’t want to dignify that last statement by challenging him; what did he think she was, the biggest fool alive? She had been, once, but not again. “Goodbye, Mr. Benedict,” she said in a dismissive tone and walked to her car.
When she reached out to open the car door, she found a lean, tanned hand there before hers. He opened the door for her, and Claire murmured a quiet thank-you as she got in the car and took her keys from her bag.
He rested one arm on the roof of the car and leaned down, his turquoise eyes narrowed and as dark as the sea. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Claire Westbrook,” he said, as cool and confident as if she hadn’t already dismissed him.
“Mr. Benedict, I’ve tried not to be rude, but I’m not interested.”
“I’m registered,” he replied, amusement twitching at his mouth, and despite herself Claire found herself staring at his lips, almost spellbound by their seductive perfection. “I’ve had all my shots, and I’m reasonably well mannered. I’m not wanted by any law-enforcement agency, I’ve never been married, and I’m kind to children. Do you require references?”
A warm laugh bubbled past her control. “Is your pedigree impressive?”
He squatted in the open door of the car, smiling at her. “Impeccable. Shall we discuss it over dinner tomorrow night?”
There was a small, curious softening inside of her. Without allowing herself to dwell on it, she’d realized for some time that she was lonely. What harm could there be in having dinner with him? She certainly wasn’t going to fall in love with him; they would talk and laugh, enjoy a nice meal, and perhaps she would make a friend.
She hesitated a long moment then gave in. “All right. Yes, thank you.”
He laughed outright now, his white teeth gleaming. “Such enthusiasm! My dear, I promise I’ll be on my best behavior. Where shall I pick you up, and at what time? Eight?”
They agreed on the time, and Claire gave him directions to her apartment. A moment later she was driving away, and by the time she stopped at the first traffic signal, her brow was furrowed in consternation. Why had she agreed to go out with him? She’d sworn to avoid his type like the plague, yet he’d neatly worked around her defenses and made her laugh, and she found herself liking him. He didn’t seem to take himself too seriously, which would have made her run at top speed in the opposite direction. He’d also shown kindness in coming to her rescue….
He was far too dangerous to her peace of mind.
By the time she let herself into her apartment, she had decided to cancel the date, but as she closed the door and locked it, the empty silence of the rooms rushed at her, overwhelming her. She had refused to get a cat, feeling that would be the crowning symbol of her aloneness, but now she wished that she had some sort of pet, anything, to welcome her home. A cat or a dog wouldn’t care if she never quite measured up to expectations; a full belly and a warm bed, someone to scratch it behind the ears, was all a pet would expect. Come to think of it, she thought tiredly, that was all humans needed. Food, shelter and affection.
Affection. She’d had the food and shelter, all the material trappings of an upper-middle-class childhood. She’d even had affection, but it had been the absent-minded, exasperated crumbs of the doting love that her parents had given to Martine. Claire couldn’t even blame them; Martine was perfect. Some sisters might have lorded it over a shy, gawky younger sister, but Martine had always been kind and patient with Claire and even now worried about her. No matter how busy Martine was with her thriving law practice, her popular, outgoing children and her equally busy husband, she always made time to call Claire at least twice a week.
Still, something inside Claire had always shriveled at her parents’ obvious preference for Martine. She could remember staring at herself in a mirror as a child and wondering what was wrong with her. If she had been ugly or possessed a nasty disposition, at least then she would have been able to find some reason for not being quite good enough to please her parents. But even though she hadn’t been as beautiful as Martine, she’d still been a pretty child, and she’d tried so hard to please everyone, until she’d realized that her best wasn’t going to be good enough and began to withdraw. That was what was wrong with her: she simply wasn’t up to par. Martine was beautiful; Claire was merely pretty. Martine was a sunny, outgoing child; Claire was prone to unexplained bouts of tears and shrank from people. Martine was talented, a marvelous pianist and an outstanding art student; Claire refused to study any sort of music and often hid herself away with a book. Martine was brilliant and ambitious; Claire was bright but didn’t apply herself. Martine married a handsome, equally ambitious young lawyer, went into practice with him and had two gorgeous, happy children; Claire had married Jeff—the one time in her life she’d ever pleased her mother—but the marriage had fallen apart.
