The ER's Newest Dad

“That’s just physical.” Please, let it just be physical. “I’m a grown woman now and know better than acting on just physical.”

Hadn’t she learned that lesson? He’d been a good teacher. So why did recalling all the other things he’d taught her seem so much easier at the moment?

“There was a lot more than just physical between us.”

“Was there?” she asked perversely. “I remember things differently.”

His gaze settled on her mouth. His finger toyed with her lower lip, barely grazing the inner moisture of her mouth. “Tell me what you remember, Brielle. Tell me you remember how your body came alive when I kissed you, how you responded to my slightest touch.” He lifted his finger to his mouth, supped off the taste of her lips. “Tell me you want me to kiss you right now because I see how your pulse is racing, how your breathing is ragged, and how your eyes are eating me up.”

“I don’t want you to kiss me.” She closed her eyes and held her breath, but she couldn’t do a thing about her crazy racing pulse. “Even if I did, all you’ve done is proved my point. Physical. Physical. Physical. Nothing more.”

Ross laughed. A sweet, relaxed, real laugh that sounded so familiar to her aching heart that everything in her went a little haywire.

Or maybe it was the light sweep of his mouth over hers that caused everything to go haywire.

“You taste of heaven, Brielle,” he whispered against her lips. “Sweet, sweet heaven.”

If she tasted of heaven, then he tasted of hell.

His lips were full, sure, full of temptation, hot.

Every cell in her body buzzed alive as if a direct connection had been made to where his lips met hers and he’d taken control of her nerve endings and demanded they deliver ultimate pleasure.

When he pushed his tongue into her mouth, for the briefest moment she considered biting him. But what purpose would that serve? If she wanted him to stop, she’d have stopped him. Instead, she’d parted her lips, let him have his blasted way.

He was right. She wanted this kiss. Had wanted his kiss from the first moment she’d spotted him in the emergency room on his first day at Bean’s Creek.

Who was she kidding?

She’d never stopped wanting him. Not from their very first kiss years ago.

It’s only curiosity, she assured herself as she opened her mouth to his exploration. She just wanted to know if his kisses still set her on fire, if he still pushed her body beyond pleasure and into ecstasy.

The sensual movement of his mouth over hers assured that he did. And more.

His hands threaded into her hair. His fingers caressed her scalp, holding her to him. His touch was gentle, not forcing the embrace, allowing her the freedom to stop him if she desired. He was probably gloating that she wasn’t, that she was so weak that the first time they were alone she was flat on her back, making love to him with her mouth.

Then again, one could argue that it was his mouth loving hers.

That it was his hands moving over her shoulders, down her arms, caressing her as if she were the most prized treasure.

His body that had leaned to hover just above hers.

Kissing her, he stared directly into her eyes. When his mouth lifted from hers, his breath came hard and fast against her lips. “I missed you, Brielle. So much.”

She didn’t answer, because what could she say? He’d been the one to leave, the one to be in the arms of another woman when she’d gone after him mere months later.

Memories of the last time she’d seen him, of his lips on the other woman’s, of how quickly he’d moved on, gave her the strength to push against his chest.

“Stop,” she ordered, wriggling to sit up on his sofa. “That wasn’t appropriate.”

He wiped his finger across his lips. Whether he was savoring their kiss or wiping it away, she wasn’t sure. “You were as curious as I was. Admit it.”

Curious? He had no idea.

“No.”

“Not admitting to the attraction between us doesn’t make it any less real,” he pointed out, with way too much logic when her head was spinning.

“Doesn’t matter.” Why could she still feel his kiss? Taste him? She didn’t want to remember. Didn’t want to have new memories of him. “None of this matters. There are others involved.”

His brows formed a V. “I’m not seeing anyone.”

Wondering if she’d said too much, she closed her eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”

“There is someone in your life?”

She took a deep breath, knowing the truth was the best policy even if she’d rather not admit it. “There is.”

He swore under his breath, seemed to consider his options and make a decision all in under ten seconds. His face serious, his expression pure dominant male in warrior mode, he met her gaze. “Then he is in for the fight of his life because I want what’s mine.”

Taken aback, she gulped. “What’s yours?”

“You. You’re mine, Brielle. You always have been. You always will be.”

“No.” She shook her head in denial. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’m not yours.” Needing movement, distance between them, she rose from the sofa, straightened her uniform. “I haven’t been from the moment you left me for Boston. Take me home.”

Ross drove in silence, trying to decipher what had happened between him and Brielle. Had he taken her to his apartment in the hope of luring her into his bed?

He certainly wanted her enough that subconsciously perhaps he had hoped the evening would end with her realizing how right the chemistry between them was. Either way, he’d failed miserably. One hot, explosive kiss that had filled his head with fantasies and she’d pushed him away, demanding to be driven home.

“You wanted that kiss as much as I did.”

“Do we have to talk about that again?” At his nod, she sighed as if needing lots of patience. “Fine. If your ego needs to believe that, you go right ahead and believe that I’ve done nothing but pine away for your kisses since you walked out.”

His ego wasn’t what needed to believe that she wanted his kisses. He daren’t name what body part needed to believe.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the one she’d probably guess.

“What happened between us was a long time ago, Brielle. We were younger, still had a lot to learn about life. I had a lot to learn about life, about who I was and what I wanted out of a relationship. Don’t you think you owe it to us to let go of your anger at me for leaving?”

“Fine.”

Was that her favorite word these days or what?

“You’re right. What happened between us was a long time ago, best forgotten. We’ll just be professional colleagues, nothing more.”

If their discussion wasn’t so serious, he could laugh at that. “You and I can never be just professional colleagues. Our kiss was proof enough of that.”

“That kiss was a mistake.”

“Why? Because of this man you’re involved with?” His fingers gripped the steering-wheel tighter at the thought of another man touching Brielle, of another man kissing her lips or holding her affections. “Whatever is between you can’t be serious because no one at the hospital is aware he exists. I asked your friend Cindy if you were dating anyone. She said no. I asked Samantha, too, and she also denied that you were involved with anyone.” He paused, thinking of Vann’s girlfriend, whom he and Brielle had often double dated with during their heyday. “After she told me where I could go, of course.”

Brielle’s face pinched and she opened her mouth as if to say something then clamped her lips closed. “This is crazy. Why are you here? Why are you doing this after all this time? Just tell me and be done with it.”

He didn’t understand the strain to her voice. Yes, he’d ended their relationship, but it wasn’t as if he’d done her wrong. He hadn’t cheated or bad-mouthed her or abused her in any way that he knew of. When he’d moved out, he’d even paid the rent on their apartment for three months to give her time to find a new roommate to help with expenses.

“I told you I want you in my life,” he reminded her. “I’ve missed you.”

She clenched her hands in her lap, shook her head as if to shake his words away. “Once upon a time I’d have given anything to hear you say that.”

He didn’t miss her use of past tense. “But not any more?”

The skin pulled tight over her pale face. She shook her head again. “Surely you didn’t believe I’ve spent the last five years waiting for you to grow up?”

“My growing up wasn’t the issue.” Wanting to expand his learning experiences hadn’t been childish or immature. He’d been a man given an amazing opportunity and he’d taken it. Their relationship had been strained with her sudden desire to walk down the aisle and him knowing he wasn’t ready for that, not at that point in his career and life. “I know you’ve gone on with your life, just as I have. That doesn’t mean what is between us is finished. It’s not.”

After kissing her tonight, being swamped with all the old feelings but also new stronger emotions too, he was beginning to believe what was between Brielle and himself would never be finished.

“Don’t bring up this man you’re involved with,” he warned, before she could toss that in his face. “Because you don’t love him.”

Twisting in her car seat to stare more fully at him, her gaze narrowed to tiny slits. “How could you possibly know that I don’t love him?”

He pulled to a stop at a red traffic light then faced her, daring her to deny the truth of what he was about to say. “Because if you were in love with him you wouldn’t have kissed me. Not at all and certainly not with that passion.”

“You’re wrong,” she countered, her smile scaring him. “I love him more than I’ve ever loved any man, anyone. He’s my whole world.”

Truth echoed from each word she spoke.

Ross stared at her, unable to label the crushing sensation in his chest. Denial shot through him. Strong denial. “No, you don’t. Maybe you think you do, but you don’t. You’ve not changed that much. You wouldn’t kiss me if you were in love with another man. You aren’t the type of woman to do that.”

A need as potent as any as he’d ever felt hit him. A need to feel her lips against his, to reassure himself of exactly what he’d felt when he’d kissed her. No way had he imagined the emotion zapping back and forth between them when their bodies had touched.

That hadn’t been just physical. He’d felt … more.

He leaned forward, intent on reminding her of those emotions, but she put her hand up, shook her head.

“Don’t.”

“Scared?”

“Of you?” She laughed but without any humor. “You won’t hurt me, Ross. Not ever again, because I won’t let you.”

Was that what she thought he wanted?

“I’m not here to hurt you.”

“I doubt you meant to hurt me last time either.”

Her barb stuck deep. “But I did hurt you.”

It wasn’t really a question, but she answered anyway, her expression holding steady except for the slightest quiver of her lower lip. He hated that he’d caused the pain that lay behind that quiver.

“What do you think?”

That he’d been an idiot to leave this woman when she’d loved him with all her heart and had made him happier than he recalled being at any other time during his life.

“I loved you, Ross.” Her voice was loaded with emotion. “And I believed you felt the same about me, that we would be spending the rest of our lives together. Of course it hurt when you left.”

She’d loved him. His ribcage clamped down around his lungs at her heartfelt admission. He’d known she had, had heard her say the words in the past, but that had been in the past. He hadn’t heard those words from her lips in five long years. She’d thought they were going to spend the rest of their lives together? She’d been ready for that then? In the midst of whatever relationship crisis they’d been going through she’d thought wedding bells would fix everything?

“Is that why you went crazy with bridal magazines and talking about getting married all the time?” he mused.

Shock dawned into realization in her golden-brown gaze. “That’s why you left? Because I started talking about getting married and you had cold feet because you weren’t in love with me and didn’t want to marry me?”

“Regardless of how we felt about each other, we weren’t ready for marriage.”

“You never said you loved me,” she reminded him, her voice catching. “Not a single time during the two years we were together did you ever say you loved me.”

She had him there. He hadn’t ever told any woman that he loved her, not even Brielle.

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