Innocent Wife, Baby Of Shame

She looked down at her hands again. ‘Did you tell her you wouldn’t have me back?’ she asked.

It seemed a long time before he answered. Keira could hear the clock on the wall behind her counting out the seconds; they seemed to be out of time with her thumping heart.

‘I told her what we had was well and truly over,’ he said. ‘I did not discuss the details with her or with anyone, although she could hardly have avoided hearing about it in the press. The journalists are still having a field day with it, no doubt because of your father’s bid for the Senate.’

Keira knew she should be feeling grateful that he hadn’t revealed the sordid details of her betrayal with all and sundry. He had had every right to do so—what she had done had been unforgivable. She could only assume that he had remained silent out of a sense of male pride. He would deem it below him to reveal the particulars of his private life, although she couldn’t help wondering why he had all those magazines in the waiting room. Perhaps, like the wedding photo on his desk, he wanted to remind himself of how he had been let down by someone he had once trusted and loved.

He passed the phone to her. ‘I think you should call your brother at school,’ he said. ‘It would be better for him to hear it from you rather than read it in the papers tomorrow.’

Keira stared at the phone in her hands. Could she lie convincingly to her younger brother? Although eight years separated them, she and Jamie had always been exceptionally close.

She pressed the numbers and waited for him to pick up his mobile.

‘Hello?’

‘Jamie, it’s me, Keira.’

‘Hi, Keira, how are you doing? How are the paintings going for the exhibition?’

‘Not so bad,’ she said, trying to lift her tone. ‘How are you?’

There was a tiny pause.

‘OK, I guess…’

‘Jamie,’ she began, ‘I have something to tell you.’

‘You’re not going to marry Garth Merrick, are you?’ he asked, the edge of panic unmistakable in his tone.

Keira had to turn away from the quirked-brow look Patrizio sent her as her brother’s voice carried across the room. ‘No, of course not. We’re just…friends.’

‘What is it, then?’

She took a calming breath. ‘Patrizio and I have decided to get back together,’ she said, mentally crossing her fingers that he would buy it.

‘The divorce is off?’

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘The divorce is off.’

‘Wow, Keira, that’s great!’ he said excitedly. ‘What brought this about?’

‘I guess we both realised we were making a big mistake,’ she said, adlibbing as she went along. ‘We both still love each other, so a divorce is pointless.’

‘I’m so glad, Keira,’ he said. ‘You haven’t been happy since…well, since it all fell apart. What do Mum and Dad think? Have you told them yet?’

‘Not yet, but I’ll call them next.’

There was another little silence.

‘Does Bruno Di Venuto know?’ Jamie asked.

Keira met Patrizio’s eyes across the desk. ‘No,’ she said. ‘But Patrizio is about to ring him.’

‘I saw him in the common room a few minutes ago,’ Jamie said. ‘He was his usual obnoxious self.’

‘Has it been very difficult for you, Jamie?’ she asked. ‘You haven’t mentioned a thing in any of the calls we’ve had lately.’

‘I can handle him, Keira,’ Jamie said. ‘He’s got a chip on his shoulder about you and his uncle divorcing. He thinks it’s all your fault but I told him you only did what you did because you thought Patrizio was having an affair. You weren’t to know you were being set up. Anyone could have made the same mistake.’

Keira inwardly cringed. ‘I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer because of me,’ she said. ‘I wish I could have avoided dragging you into my problems.’

‘Don’t be daft,’ he responded. ‘You always stuck up for me when Mum and Dad got angry about some stupid little issue. But I must say I’m glad to hear your news. I really want to do well in the finals and the way Bruno has been carrying on was making life pretty difficult. He’s got some influential mates. My grades have been falling but I should be able to pick them up if he lays off a bit.’

Keira met Patrizio’s dark unblinking gaze across the desk. ‘Patrizio assures me Bruno will,’ she said. ‘Take care of yourself, Jamie. I love you.’

‘Don’t go all soppy on me now,’ he said gruffly. ‘I am really pleased you and Patrizio are having another go at it. I like him, Keira. I always did. He’s one really cool dude.’

Keira handed the phone back to Patrizio a short time later. ‘Apparently, in spite of your nephew’s behaviour, my brother still thinks you’re one really cool dude.’

He gave her an indifferent look. ‘So I heard.’

She listened while he made a call to his nephew and, even though it was issued in staccato Italian, she more or less got the drift. Patrizio’s brows snapped together as he ranted and railed, the gestures of his hand indicating that he was extremely angry.

He put the phone down on the desk a few minutes later with a brooding frown. ‘That boy needs a firm hand. I should have seen this coming. I could have stopped it getting to this.’

‘It’s all right, Patrizio,’ she said. ‘Jamie is coping with things.’

He got to his feet and stood with his back to her, looking out over the city below. ‘I cannot be the father figure Bruno needs,’ he said, clenching and unclenching his fists by his sides. ‘I have tried to take Stefano’s place but it is not good enough. No one can replace his father. Bruno is angry and resentful and is no doubt looking for a target.’

‘You have done your best,’ she said softly. ‘It’s been hard for everyone, Gina especially.’

He turned around to look down at her. ‘We should get going,’ he said after a stiff little silence. He scooped up his keys from the desk and added, ‘The sooner we get this over with the better.’

Keira followed him out of the office with a sinking feeling in her stomach. Spending the evening with him was going to be bad enough, but sharing his house as his wife again was going to take all the courage she possessed and more.

Patrizio’s house was a modern mansion set in a private garden in the exclusive suburb of South Yarra. Large windows made the most of the view over the city on one side and the lap pool and beautifully manicured formal garden on the other.

Italian marble lined the impressive foyer, leading to a sweeping staircase which led to the upper floor where each of the beautifully decorated bedrooms had an en suite bathroom attached. Soft-as-air taupe carpet covered the living and entertainment areas, the luxurious leather sofas just begging to be sat upon.

Keira forced her gaze away from them, not wanting to recall the many times she had felt and tasted his passion while lying entangled with him there.

‘I will leave you to get changed,’ Patrizio said as he put his briefcase down. ‘I have a couple of emails to send. Make yourself at home.’

This used to be my home, Keira thought sadly as she took the stairs to the upper floor. Every room contained a memory of her time with Patrizio. It seemed strange to be here again, walking up the stairs as if she had never left.

She paused outside the master bedroom, taking a little shaky breath as her hand pushed open the door.

She forced her eyes away from the huge bed and went straight to the large walk-in wardrobe where on one side Patrizio’s things were hanging in neat ordered rows.

Her gaze swung to the other side and a little wave of nostalgia passed over her as her hands went to the things she had left behind. The housekeeper, Marietta, had obviously tidied everything up. Admittedly Keira had left in a hurry after that final horrendous scene, but then she had never been all that good at keeping things organised.

Her hand reached for one of the dresses Patrizio had bought her when they had gone to Paris for a week during the first few months of their marriage. She pressed her face against it, her eyes closing as she felt the soft brush of chiffon against her cheek, the faint hint of his aftershave clinging to the fabric making her feel an unbearable aching emptiness.

She heard a sound behind her and came face to face with Marietta, who was carrying a bundle of Patrizio’s neatly ironed casual clothes.

‘Signora Trelini,’ she said with a smile. ‘It is good to see you again. I am so glad you are returning to Signor Trelini. He has not been happy since you left.’

‘Hello, Marietta,’ Keira said shyly, still clutching the dress to her chest. ‘I haven’t been happy since I left either.’

The housekeeper beamed. ‘I knew it would all work out in the end,’ she said. ‘You and Signor Trelini are…how you say…soul mates, sì?’

‘Sì,’ Keira agreed, hoping she sounded convincing.

Marietta put the clothes she was carrying on the shelves before turning back to her. ‘I will leave you to get dressed,’ she said. ‘Your husband told me you are going out to dinner to celebrate your reconciliation.’

‘Er…yes…we are,’ Keira said.

‘I have left towels in the en suite for you,’ Marietta informed her. ‘I thought you might like to freshen up.’

‘Thank you, Marietta,’ Keira said, grimacing as she looked down at her jeans. ‘A shower would be lovely.’

The stinging spray did much to wash away the stickiness of the day, the creamy shampoo and conditioner she used on her hair leaving it bouncing with springy curls.

She looked at her reflection and bit her lip. There were shadows beneath her violet-blue eyes and her face looked even paler than it usually was. She leaned closer and frowned when she saw the dusting of freckles on the bridge of her nose. Her small supply of make-up was at her poky little flat in St Kilda; all she had was a tub of lip-gloss in her purse.

She smoothed down the black dress and, slipping her feet into the high-heeled sandals she’d chosen, she went back downstairs.

Patrizio was waiting for her in the large open-plan lounge, a small measure of spirits in his hand. ‘Would you care for a drink before we leave?’ he asked.

Keira wondered what he would say if she told him she no longer touched alcohol. She hadn’t dared after what had happened with Garth. ‘No, thank you,’ she said. ‘I had some water upstairs.’

His eyes ran over her. ‘You look very beautiful, cara,’ he said.

She shifted nervously. ‘Thank you…’

He closed the distance between them and lifted her chin, his eyes burning into hers. ‘Marietta and Salvatore have not yet left,’ he said in a low deep undertone. ‘We are in love again, no?’

‘No…I mean yes…’ Keira answered, her heart beginning to thump as his thumb moved over her bottom lip, back and forth as if rediscovering the cushioned contours.

He pressed his mouth to hers for a nanosecond before lifting his head, his tongue sweeping over his lips where she could see a faint imprint of her lip-gloss shining.

‘Mmm,’ he said, running his tongue over his lips. ‘You taste of strawberries, or is it cherries?’

Keira felt her belly tremble with desire as he bent his head once more. Her lashes came down over her eyes as his mouth covered hers, the barely there touch of his lips sending her senses into a frenzy. She felt the slight rasp of his tongue as it pushed against the seam of her mouth, her stomach giving a swift hard kick of excitement as the pressure subtly increased. Her lips parted to accommodate him, the smooth gliding entry of his tongue making every hair on her head stand to attention as it flicked against hers.

That first erotic thrust sent all thought of control out of her head. Her hands clung to him unashamedly, her fingers curling into the front of his shirt, her mouth locked on his, her tongue dancing with his in a sexy tango that mimicked the most intimate union of all.

She could feel the heavy pulse of desire beating deep and low in her body, every nerve tightening in tingling awareness as his mouth worked its magic on hers. She felt the hard ridge of his erection swelling against her belly, the heady reminder of all they had shared in the past.

Keira vaguely registered the sound of the front door closing and her eyes sprang open when Patrizio ended the kiss with an abruptness she found totally disorienting.

‘Marietta and Salvatore have gone,’ he said, stepping back from her. ‘I was expecting one or both of them to come in and say good evening. The kiss was for their benefit, not mine.’

Keira ran her tongue over her still tingling lips. ‘I see…’

He sent her one of his inscrutable looks. ‘We will have to perform from time to time,’ he said. ‘I would not want you to misinterpret anything in such physical exchanges.’

She swallowed back her pain. ‘I understand…’

‘Good,’ he said, his eyes dipping to her mouth briefly before returning to hers. ‘As long as we both know how things stand.’

‘I understand you hate me,’ Keira said. ‘You’ve made it pretty clear.’

A hard glitter came into his eyes as they clashed with hers. ‘Do I not have the right to hate you, Keira?’ he asked. ‘You destroyed our marriage by sleeping with another man.’

Keira closed her eyes tight, unable to look at the fury in his black-brown gaze.

His hands gripped her upper arms. ‘Look at me, damn you!’

Her eyes sprang open, tears burning as she encountered the bitterness reflected in his gaze. ‘I’m s-sorry…’ she whispered brokenly. ‘I’m so sorry…’

He dropped his hands and let out a muttered curse. ‘I suppose you are going to spin me that worn-out excuse that you had too much to drink and did not know what you were doing,’ he said.

‘I wasn’t drinking…’ she said, unable to meet the burning accusation in his eyes. ‘Or at least no more than half a glass…but it’s true that I don’t really remember much about that night…apart from the argument we had and…and going to Garth’s place…’

‘Where you opened your legs for him like the filthy little slut you are,’ he ground out savagely, his black brows meeting over his eyes.

Keira felt her shame scorch her from head to foot. If she hadn’t woken up naked in Garth’s bed the next morning, she would never have believed herself capable of such reckless behaviour. But, even worse, she hadn’t just betrayed her husband, but the one friend who had stood by her for most of her childhood.

‘Did he make you sob with ecstasy, Keira?’ he asked. ‘Did he make you beg for release the way you begged for it with me? Did he?’

She put her hands over her ears. ‘Don’t. Please. I can’t bear it!’

He pulled her hands down, his fingers biting into her wrists. ‘Did you put him in your mouth like you did to me? Did you—’

Keira felt herself begin to sway on her feet, her face draining of colour as the room began to spin uncontrollably. She tried to focus on his embittered words but they faded away as if he were speaking to her through a very long and fog-filled tunnel. She tried to get her voice to work but her throat felt as if someone had lodged something hard halfway down. She felt her body begin to slump against his, her extremities tingling as if every drop of her blood had completely drained out of her.

‘Keira?’

She opened her eyes at the gruff urgency of his tone but had to close them again as the black abyss inexorably beckoned…

CHAPTER THREE

KEIRA woke to find herself lying in Patrizio’s bed, the covers lightly over her, the bedside lamp casting an incandescent glow over the room.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked from the chair beside the bed.

She turned her head on the pillow and met his dark concerned gaze. ‘I…I’m fine…I think…’

‘You fainted,’ he said somewhat unnecessarily.

‘Yes…’

‘Has that happened before?’ he asked.

‘A couple of times…’ she answered, putting a hand up to brush her hair out of her face. ‘I had the flu a few weeks ago…I haven’t fully recovered.’

‘When did you last eat?’

‘I don’t remember…last night, I think.’

He swore and got to his feet. ‘How long has this being going on?’ he asked.

‘I don’t see why you should be concerned,’ she said with a glittering look. ‘You hate me, remember? Why should you care whether I eat or not?’

‘I am concerned, as anyone would be, when the person one is speaking with suddenly drops in a dead faint before them,’ he responded. ‘It is disconcerting, to say the least.’

‘Then maybe you shouldn’t speak to them so aggressively,’ she countered.

He frowned down at her. ‘I suppose this is how you handle difficult conversations now, is it?’ he asked. ‘When things get a bit hot to handle, you block it out by bringing on a fainting episode.’

Keira jerked upright in the bed, her eyes flashing at him in fury. ‘I did not bring on anything! I told you, I’ve been sick recently. I haven’t felt well for a month, if you must know.’

There was a taut little silence.

‘Are you pregnant?’ he asked.

She stared at him in shock. ‘What sort of question is that?’ she asked. ‘Of course I’m not pregnant.’

‘I would have thought it was a reasonable one to ask,’ he said. ‘You are a young sexually active woman.’

‘I am not sexually active. I haven’t had sex since…’ she paused as she bit her lip ‘…since that night…’

His expression communicated his disbelief. ‘You positively ooze sex, Keira. As soon as you walked into my office, I could feel it coming off you like an invisible force.’

She moistened her mouth as his dark gaze slid over her in indolent appraisal. Her breasts tightened and her stomach hollowed and clenched simultaneously.

‘You are a very sensual woman, Keira,’ he continued. ‘There are few men who could resist what you have to offer.’

‘I’m not offering anything.’

His lip curled. ‘I bet if I got into that bed beside you I could have you underneath me screaming out in ecstasy within minutes. You just cannot help yourself. You are built for pleasure, cara. I am getting hard just thinking about it.’

Keira couldn’t stop her eyes going to his pelvis. A tremor of desire rumbled through her belly and her heart began to step up its pace.

He came to sit on the edge of her bed, right next to her thighs, one of his hands capturing hers and laying it against his throbbing heat. ‘Can you feel what you do to me, Keira?’

She could and it terrified her. Her fingers itched to explore and the barrier of his clothes became a torment. She wanted to feel that satin-covered steel against her fingertips. She wanted to taste that sexy combination of salt and musk on his skin, to feel his explosive release in every intimate place.

‘B-but you hate me,’ she said, trying to pull her hand away without success.

‘Yes, but it does not interfere with my desire for you; in fact, I believe it might even enhance it.’

‘That’s barbaric,’ she said, giving her hand another vicious tug. ‘Besides, I thought you said you didn’t intend to share your body with me. You told me you no longer felt any attraction towards me.’

He brought her hand up to his mouth, his tongue tasting each of her fingertips in turn, his smouldering dark gaze locked with hers. ‘Let us say I am considering the fors and againsts,’ he said.

‘What you need to be considering is my consent,’ she put in archly.

His mouth tilted in a mocking smile. ‘You have already given me your consent,’ he said. ‘We are still legally married, remember?’

‘We’re officially separated.’

‘Not any more.’

‘This isn’t a real reconciliation,’ she said, panic beating like a drum in her chest. ‘You told me it wasn’t.’

‘In the eyes of the law, it is. We have resumed cohabiting as man and wife.’

‘I don’t want to be your wife, either for real or pretend,’ she said with stiff force. ‘I don’t want to live with a man who hates me with every breath he takes. I can think of nothing worse.’

‘I do not know why you are so upset. You were the one to destroy our marriage.’

‘I didn’t do it alone!’ she cried.

‘No, indeed you did not,’ he said coolly, although his dark gaze burned with anger. ‘You did it with Garth Merrick.’

‘I didn’t mean that,’ she said, blowing out a breath of frustration. ‘I meant I wouldn’t have even gone to Garth in the first place if I hadn’t thought you were having an affair.’

‘Oh, yes,’ he said with another mocking curl of his lip. ‘My alleged affair.’

Keira felt perilously close to tears. She hated being reminded of her stupidity back then. She had been insanely jealous but too proud to admit to it, and instead had allowed a vindictive woman to systematically poison her against the man she loved with all her heart.

At the time their barely twelve-month-old marriage had been going through a particularly rocky patch, which with hindsight she realised was entirely normal. Two strong-willed people living together were sure to send sparks flying at times, especially when he had been busy with a big housing deal interstate, and she was snowed under with her studies. And with her propensity to fly off the handle so easily, not to mention her deep-seated insecurity stemming from her childhood, it had been a ripe field for the seeds of suspicion to be sown.

Rita Favore had deliberately fed her suspicions, leaving suggestive messages on the land line answering service and even producing photographs which had later been proven to be digitally adjusted to make them appear more intimate than they really were. Keira had been so devastated, seeing her husband in such a compromising embrace, she hadn’t stopped to think of an alternative explanation.

Patrizio had been in Sydney on business when she’d called him and accused him of being unfaithful. He had denied it vehemently but she hadn’t believed him. She had hung up on him and taken the phone off the hook and switched her mobile off for several hours.

When he’d returned that evening she had already packed her things and was waiting for him in the lounge.

‘You are surely not serious about this, cara?’ he asked as soon as she told him she was leaving. ‘I hardly know the woman. She works for me—yes, but only as a part-time assistant.’

Keira sent him a livid blue glare. ‘Assisting you part-time with what?’ She shoved the photos at him. ‘With enhancing your sex life?’

His frown increased as he leafed through each of the incriminating photographs. He tossed them to the nearest surface and faced her, his expression incredulous. ‘Keira, this is ridiculous. This is obviously some sort of attempt to discredit me, but I can assure you I have never slept with that woman.’

‘She left several messages for you. Why don’t you listen to them?’

He brushed past her to pick up the phone and, punching in the message retrieval code, frowned as he listened.

Keira put her hands on her hips. ‘Well?’ she said. ‘Are you still going to blatantly deny it?’

He put the phone down with unnecessary force, his eyes almost black with anger. ‘How can you think me capable of betraying you with such a woman?’ he asked. ‘She is so very obviously making trouble. I have never touched her. I would not dream of doing so.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

His eyes went to her suitcases, his expression wry. ‘Obviously not.’

‘I want a divorce,’ she said, putting up her chin in defiance. ‘I don’t want to be married to you any more.’

His dark eyes took on a steely glint. ‘Is that so?’

‘Yes. I should never have married you in the first place.’

‘Why is that, I wonder?’ he asked, stepping closer.

Keira tried to step backwards but came up against the door, the sensation of being cornered triggering a primal response to escape. ‘Because I’m in love with someone else,’ she said.

Her words dropped like a bomb into the silence, splintering it into a million fragments of fury as Patrizio’s eyes narrowed into black slits.

‘What did you say?’ he asked in a low deep growl.

Her chin went even higher. ‘You heard me. I’m in love with someone else.’

‘Who is it?’ he asked. ‘Or am I allowed to guess?’

She held his laser-like gaze with glittering rebellion. ‘I don’t have to tell you anything if I don’t want to.’