The Pregnancy Plan

Now he was being mean, and he didn’t like it—or himself—one bit. He saw her stiffen. But when she spoke, instead of an angry retort, he got a restrained reply.

“I know you miss Alice, but you won’t ever get to me by holding her up as an example—I’m in total agreement that she was one in a million. I know she meant the world to you, and I know how unhappy you’ve been since she died. And I’m guessing you’re stuck at the ‘anger’ stage of your grief. If it helps to use me as a whipping boy, feel free to continue.”

The patio doors behind her slid open and Felicity came out, with Jordan following.

As casually as if she and Dermid hadn’t been spatting, Lacey looked up at Felicity and said in a pleasant tone, “Did you get the baby settled?”

“Mmm, she’s out like a light. Wasn’t she sweet, in her christening gown?”

“She was adorable.” Lacey swung herself gracefully up from her chaise. “Now I’m going out to the car to fetch the presents I brought for the children. Will you come and give me a hand?”

“Of course. But you shouldn’t have—”

“I know, I spoil them…but since I have no children of my own, just indulge me!”

“By the way,” her brother said, “what happened with that English guy who chased you all over Europe? The one with the castle in Wiltshire.”

“Sir Harry? Oh, I ditched him when he told me he expected me to give up my career when we married, and start having babies—lots of ’em!—right away. Male chauvinism run riot! Besides, can you imagine yours truly coping with dirty diapers and bottles of formula and sleepless nights…not to mention having to lumber around like an elephant for the best part of nine months!” She gave an elegant shudder. “I think not!”

“Being pregnant is wonderful!” Felicity protested. “I adored it…and would have quite happily gone on and had another new baby every couple of years till I was too old to have anymore!”

“Which is why after Verity was born,” her husband reminded her with a warm chuckle, “we both agreed that four were enough!”

Dermid had remained quiet during the talk of babies, but after Lacey and Felicity left the patio, he said,

“Jordan, do you think we could discuss that matter now, the one I mentioned earlier?”

“Sure,” Jordan said. “Let’s go into my study, where we won’t be disturbed.”

Lacey had brought new swimsuits for the children, and a colorful beach ball for each of them.

“Can we go in the pool now, Mom?” Eight-year-old Mandy waved her new lemon-yellow bikini in the air.

“Can we, Mom?” echoed Todd, two, and Andrew, four, as they gleefully rolled their new blue-and-green striped balls across the carpet in the den, setting RJ, the cat, scurrying for cover.

“Please, Aunt Felicity?” Jack loved to swim with his Dad in the swimming hole on their property, but it was always a treat to swim in the blue-tiled pool at Deerhaven.

“Let’s all go for a swim!” Lacey said. “It’s so hot today, it’ll be fabulous to cool off. Do let’s,” she urged Felicity. “You can take the baby monitor with you.”

“I really should clean up first,” Felicity said.

“I’ll help,” Lacey offered, but Felicity shook her head.

“No you go ahead, I’ll come out when I’m finished.”

“My bikini’s still in the laundry room?”

“Mmm, where you left it last time. And could you bring up the beach towels?” Felicity turned to Mandy. “Honey, will you get the sunscreen and then all of you wait here till Aunt Lacey comes back, and she’ll take you outside to the cabana to get changed and put on the suntan lotion.”

Within minutes Lacey was herding them all outside. And soon they were all in the water.

Jack and Andrew, both strong swimmers, immediately struck out across the pool toward the deep end, punching their beach balls ahead of them, while Mandy and Lacey played in the shallow end with Todd.

Felicity turned up after about twenty minutes. She was carrying a tray, with a pitcher of lemonade, a stack of plastic glasses, and the baby monitor. Setting the tray and monitor on the picnic table by the pool, she stood for a moment, adjusting the straps of her amethyst one-piece swimsuit.

“You’re looking terrific,” Lacey called. “You’ve put on a few pounds with this last baby, but it suits you.”

“Thanks, Lacey! So…where did Jordan and Dermid disappear to?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen them since you and I went out to the car to get the presents.”

Just as Felicity made to jump into the water, Todd started to fuss.

“Want a drink! Want out!”

Mandy had been holding him; now she carried him to the steps and her mother reached down and hoisted him up.

“A woman’s work,” Felicity said with a laugh, “is never done!”

Mandy retrieved her beach ball which had drifted away, and shouted, “Catch, Aunt Lacey!”

For the next while, Lacey played with Mandy, until Felicity interrupted them.

“Lacey, can you come out? I need to talk to you.”

She sounded so serious, Lacey felt a jolt of surprise; surprise that changed to concern when she saw her sister-in-law’s unhappy expression.

“And Mandy—” Felicity took Todd’s empty glass from him “—will you come out, too, and take Todd over to the cabana and get him changed? I think he’s ready for a nap and I want to have a chat with Aunt Lacey.”

Lacey climbed up the steps, and wringing out her sodden hair, walked over to Felicity. She waited till Mandy had taken Todd to the cabana before saying anxiously,

“What’s wrong, Fliss?”

“Oh, Lacey, it’s so sad. When I tell you, I know you’ll be so upset—” She broke off as Jordan came out of the house. “Shh,” she whispered. “I can’t tell you just now, not till after Dermid’s gone. Please don’t say anything to Jordan. Not yet.”

The pool area was surrounded by chain link fencing, and as Jordan opened the gate, he called,

“Hey, Jack, come on out now. You and your dad have to leave in about ten minutes.”

“Are you going to drive him?” Felicity asked.

“No, I’m afraid I have to go back to the office…”

Jordan was manager of one of the North Shore’s top real estate firms, and Sunday, at this time of year, was always one of the agency’s busiest days.

“…but,” he added, “I said you’d drive him, Lace. Okay?”

Lacey bit her tongue. “Sure, no problem.”

Jordan turned toward the house. “Ah, here he is.”

Jack clambered out of the pool and ran to his father. “Do we have to go now?” he asked. “Can’t we stay for a while longer?”

“No,” Dermid said. “It’s time we were going.”

“Aw!” Jack pulled a long face. “I was having a good time…”

“Why don’t you let him stay for a few days?” Felicity suggested. “You could come back for him on the weekend.”

Dermid turned to Jack. “Do you want to stay on, on your own?” The child never had before.

“Sure! Thanks, Dad! Thanks, Aunt Felicity.” And without further ado, Jack tore off and yelling to his cousins, “I’m staying!” he plunged into the water again.

Smiling, Jordan turned to his brother-in-law. “So Lace will drive you to the ferry, whenever you’re ready.”

Dermid’s eyes met Lacey’s. His were cool. “Thanks,” he said, “but I’ve called a cab.”

Lacey lifted one shoulder in a careless shrug. “Fine.” What a boor the man was!

“Well, guys, I’ll have to go now,” Jordan said. “Thanks for coming over, Dermid. I know this isn’t your kind of ‘do,’ but Fliss and I have always appreciated the effort you’ve made to keep Jack in close touch with his cousins.”

“We know it must have been hard at first, coming here without Alice.” Felicity patted his arm. “But I hope it’s become easier, with time.”

Dermid said, “Alice would have wanted it this way.”

“You’re right, she would,” Jordan said, giving Felicity a warm kiss goodbye. “Okay, folks, I’m off. Bye, all!”

Once he’d gone, Dermid stood chatting with Felicity for a few minutes, until they heard the toot of a car horn.

“That’ll be your cab.” Felicity turned to Lacey. “Will you see Dermid out, Lace? I don’t want to leave the children alone in the pool.”

“Not necessary,” Dermid said quickly. “I can see myself out—”

“Oh, but I insist!” Lacey said, with exaggerated graciousness. “My list of faults is long enough without adding bad manners to it!”

And with her nose in the air, she led him into the house and out through the foyer.

As they passed the hallstand, she noticed, sitting on it, the bag containing whatever it was that Dermid had bought at the Caulfeild Mall. He’d set it there when he’d come in that morning.

She indicated it, and said, “Is that for Felicity? Did you forget to give it to her?”

He paused in the open doorway. “It’s for you.”

“For me?”

Frowning, she scooped up the bag and looked inside and saw a lovely box of very expensive Belgian chocolates.

Taken completely by surprise, she said, “Thank you, Dermid! I have such a weakness for chocolate and these are my favorites!” So, the man had a soft spot after all. Teasingly she said, “What is this? A peace offering?”

His eyes were beautiful and unique in color—the whisky brown of a Highland stream, Alice used to say. But those same eyes which had glowed with love when he looked at his wife, now flattened with denial when he looked at his sister-in-law.

“It’s a thank you,” he said curtly. “For picking me up at Horseshoe Bay.”

He could have slapped her and she wouldn’t have felt more wounded. Or humiliated. But gritting her teeth, she swiftly rebounded from his nastiness.

“Of course,” she said. “I should have known. I feel sorry for you, Dermid McTaggart. What a petty mind you do have! What I did was a favor. And a very small one at that. But could you accept it? Oh, no. No way. It would never do for the almighty McTaggart to be beholden to anyone, and certainly not to me. Well, I’d like to take your fancy Belgian chocolates and shove them…well, you can guess where. But I won’t. Unlike you, I do possess some of the social graces, and I do know how to accept a gift!”

Before he could stop her, she reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

Then standing back, she said, “Maybe that’s not the way it’s done where you come from, McTaggart, but that’s the way it’s done here. A smile, a thank you, and a friendly kiss. You know the old saying: while in Rome, do as the Romans do. I hope you’ll remember it in future!”

With that, she whirled away, leaving him to see himself out…and good manners be damned!

Clouds had drifted in from the west and when Lacey returned to the garden, she felt a drop of rain on her arm.

Felicity said, “We’re going to have a shower! I’ll put Todd down for a nap and the other children can watch TV in the den while you and I have our talk.”

By the time she had settled the children, a cloud had crept over the sun and the rain was sprinkling down.

“Let’s sit on the patio,” she said. “I’ll roll down the awning.”

As she rolled it down, she said, “It was too bad Sarah and the others came down with ’flu this week. They were looking forward to coming over for the party today.”

“You’re so lucky to have Sarah. And Gigi,” she added, referring to Felicity’s other sister, both of whom lived on Vancouver Island. “I miss Alice terribly. She was more than a wonderful older sister, she was like a mother to me—brought me up, as you know, after Mom died. And she was also my best friend.”

“Dermid’s best friend, too—I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people so devoted to each other.” She sighed. “Which brings me to what I have to tell you.” She crossed the patio and sat down on one of the lawn chairs.

But when she gestured to Lacey to do the same, Lacey shook her head. She felt too restless to sit down. “Before you start, Fliss, I have to confess that I may not be totally in the dark about what you’re going to say. This morning, I accidentally eavesdropped while Dermid and Jordan were talking and I heard Dermid refer to a family matter and a decision Dermid had to make, and he asked Jordan for his support.”

“Poor Dermid. With his Scottish pride, and his fierce independence, it couldn’t have been easy for him to ask Jordan for anything! As for eavesdropping, I’m afraid I’ve been guilty of it, too. You see, after I set up the baby monitor at the pool, while I was giving Todd his lemonade I heard Jordan and Dermid talking. They were in the nursery, Jordan apparently checking on Verity—and he and Dermid were talking quietly…although it obviously didn’t occur to either of them that they could be overheard.”

“I should tell you, Fliss, Dermid made it clear to Jordan that he didn’t want me involved in the situation.”

“He may not want you involved, but I do think you ought to know. Alice would want you to know.”

“Fliss, if you don’t come to the point—”

“Sorry. Okay, here goes. You know that Dermid had a bout with cancer a long while ago, just after he and Alice were married, and that before he underwent radiation treatment, on the oncologist’s advice he had some of his sperm frozen because it was possible the treatment would render him infertile…which, unhappily, it did.”

“Yes, of course. And I know that later on, Jack was born from a frozen embryo.”

“Do you remember, Lacey, that Dermid and Alice had a second embryo, cryogenically frozen, and stored at that same clinic in Toronto—the embryo of a girl baby—and that Alice and Dermid looked forward to one day having that child—”

“But Alice died before they could.” Lacey’s throat felt suddenly tight. “I often think of that little baby who’ll never be born…I find it so sad, and it would have broken Alice’s heart…” Her voice trailed into silence.

All around, the rain was lashing down now. Lacey hadn’t even noticed it getting heavier, and the afternoon had become bleak and cool and very dark.

She blinked away threatening tears, and saw Felicity rise from her seat. Her sister-in-law crossed over to her, took her hands and held them tight.

“Lacey, Dermid’s been having nightmares. Alice has been coming to him, begging him to let her rest in peace. She wants closure. He wants closure, too. So…he’s finally going to do the thing he’s been putting off doing ever since Alice died. He’s going to contact the fertility clinic in Toronto this week, and tell them he no longer wants the remaining embryo preserved.”

CHAPTER THREE

“HE SHOULD have told me!” Lacey glared at her brother. “Alice was my sister, too, I had every right to know what he was planning to do. He had no right to shut me out!”

Jordan made a placating gesture. “Honey, this has been very difficult for Dermid—”

“Of course it has, I’m not denying that. It must be breaking his heart, knowing that Alice’s baby is there, just waiting for a chance to be born. But now she never will be!” Lacey felt her anger dissipating as sorrow took over. “Oh, Jordan, why does life have to be so cruel?”

He had nothing to say that would comfort her. He looked helplessly at Felicity, who looked back equally helplessly at him.

Lacey paced the sitting room. She crossed to the window, looked out in the pitch-dark night. Jordan had been very late getting home, but she couldn’t settle until she’d had it out with him, had vented all the resentment she felt toward Dermid McTaggart.

Impatient, she whirled around now. “I still can’t forgive him for not including me in his decision-making. I know he thinks I’m an airhead—”

“If he does,” Jordan said, “you have only yourself to blame. You’ve deliberately led him to believe you’re a bit spacey—”

“Only because from the moment we met, he made it clear that he thought anyone who made a living the way I did must have the IQ of a gnat!”

“Let’s not get sidetracked, Lace.” Her brother’s expression had become somber. “No matter how smart you are, what could you have contributed to our conversation? After all, the matter was simple. Dermid had already made his decision, and what he wanted from me, as Alice’s brother, was my support…and that was all there was to it.”

“No, I won’t accept that!” Lacey’s silver bracelets flashed in the light as she stuck her fists on her hips. “Three heads are better than two—and if you’d included me in your furtive little get-together, I might have come up with some other option.”

“It wasn’t furtive. It was private. Besides, what other option could you have come up with? All you could have suggested was that he delay the inevitable. The man’s been having nightmares, Lace, for months! Leaving the situation the way it is, is not an option.”

“So what’s his next step?” Felicity asked.

“He’s going to Toronto on Friday, to talk with the people at the clinic, tell them not to preserve the embryo any longer.”

Felicity tsked. “Won’t that be terribly hard on him—going back there, where he and Alice…?”

“Yeah, it’ll be hard. But Dermid feels it’s something he can’t do by phone. He wants to do it in person—”

“There is another option.” Lacey’s voice had been quiet, but it stopped Jordan in his tracks.

He looked warily at her. “There is?”

“Yes.” Excitement welled up inside her. “Dermid can hire a surrogate mother—she’d be a gestational carrier, actually, since she wouldn’t have any genetic link to the child—to bear the baby for him!”

“I already suggested that to Dermid,” Jordan said. “This morning.”

“And?” Lacey demanded. “What did he say?”

“Emphatically ‘No!’. He won’t even consider it.”

“Is it the money issue?” Felicity asked. “He wouldn’t feel comfortable paying someone to act as a host uterus?”

“It’s nothing to do with money. I don’t remember his exact words, but the gist of it was that making a baby was a family affair, and not something an outsider should ever be part of.” Jordan shrugged. “It is not an option.”

“He’s a stubborn man, is the McTaggart.” Lacey’s excitement died. ‘Well, that’s that, then.” She sat on the arm of her brother’s chair. “You were right, Jordan. I couldn’t have contributed anything useful to your conversation. And now that the decision is made, sad as it is, we’ll all just have to accept it.”

“It’s particularly sad for Dermid,” Felicity said. “He won’t ever be able to have another child, should he decide to remarry.”

There remained nothing more to say on the matter, and soon after, Lacey got up to leave.

“Are you going to be home for a while?” Jordan asked as he and Felicity walked her out to her car. “Or are you off on a shoot somewhere?”

“I’m going to be around for the next while, taking a bit of a break. But after that, I’m heavily committed for the next several months. And my agent’s been making overtures to GloryB. They’re going to be looking for a replacement for Kinga Koff—their GloryB girl—because she’s getting married in the Fall and she’s planning to retire.”

“For their cosmetic line, then,” Felicity said. “Oh, how thrilling!”

“Fingers crossed,” Lacey said. “It’s always been my dream, to be the face of GloryB!”

She smiled as she stood by her silver convertible and looked out over the dark waters of the inlet. “If it all works out, I may be asking you to find a house for me, Jordan. Something really deluxe, up here on the hill.”

But as she drove away a few moments later, her smile faded and she was left with her thoughts. Desolate thoughts about Alice, and the baby who would never be born.

Alice had done so much for her after their mother died, and had made many huge sacrifices. Lacey had thanked her many times, but mere thanks had never seemed adequate.

If only, she reflected, with a sense of grief and great loss, she had ever been able to do something to repay her beloved sister, but the occasion had never arisen.

“Aunt Lacey, this is Jack speaking…”

Lacey stood in her kitchen, making coffee as she listened to her nephew’s voice on her answering machine. She’d been in the shower and hadn’t heard the phone ring, but now, on this gray Thursday morning, with her wet hair wrapped in a towel, she gave his message her attention.

“Aunt Lacey, nobody knows I’m phoning—I’m in Uncle Jordan’s study, he’s at work and Aunt Felicity’s busy with the baby. Here’s why I’m calling. Can you come and drive me home? I’m just itchin’ to get back. So…will you call me if you can come? Please? Love, Jack.”

Lacey gave a wry smile. Who could have resisted that earnest “Love, Jack”?

She phoned Deerhaven and when Felicity answered, she asked to talk to Jack. When he came on the line, she said, “I got your message, and I’d be happy to take you home. Can you be ready to leave in about an hour?”

“Sure! And thanks, Aunt Lacey!”

“Now talk to your aunt. Come clean, tell her you’re homesick, she’ll understand. And I’ll pick you up at ten.”

Jack was ready when she arrived at Deerhaven, and they drove straight out to Horseshoe Bay. The morning was still overcast, and by the time they boarded the ferry, rain was drizzling down.

But it cleared up after a while, and by the time they reached Nanaimo, sunshine and blue skies greeted them.

Jack had chattered happily on the ferry trip, but on the drive to the ranch, he lapsed into silence. Slumping back in his seat, he stared glumly out of the window.

“Is something wrong?” Lacey asked as they turned off the highway and onto the side road leading to the ranch. “I thought you’d be so excited to be home, but—”

“I am.”

“You don’t sound very excited!” She glanced at him and saw his little face was drawn down in lugubrious lines. “I know you wanted to surprise your dad, but maybe we should have called and told him you were coming back early—are you afraid he’ll be away somewhere?”

Jack shook his head. “If he wasn’t here, Arthur would be around. It’s just…well, I’m glad to be back, but…”

“But what?”

“They’re lucky,” he muttered. “Mandy and Andrew and Todd and the baby. All these kids to play with, they’d never be lonely. I just wish I had a brother—or a sister—but I’m never going to have one. My dad was sick a long time ago and now he can’t have any more kids. It sucks.”

“I know,” she said gently, “that it must be hard, being an only child. But at least you have cousins, and you get to see them quite often.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I guess.”

But it was obvious he felt they were a poor second-best to actually having a brother or sister of his own.

By now they were approaching the house, and she saw Arthur emerge from the back door.

A confirmed bachelor and shy around women, the man had worked with Jordan for many years, and was now a permanent fixture at the ranch.

“Look,” Lacey said, hoping to divert Jack from his forlorn musings. “There’s Arthur!”

Jack bounced up in his seat, waving.

Arthur loped toward the car, and gave Lacey a respectful salute. “Hi, there, Ms. Maxwell.”

Jack snapped open his seat belt. “Where’s Dad?”

“Inside, throwin’ a few things in a bag. He’s going to Toronto, flyin’ out from Vancouver this evenin’.”

“I thought,” Lacey said, “he was going on Friday?”

“Too impatient, he was, too restless, to wait.”

“Arthur!” Jack opened his car door and hopped out. “Did Molly May have her cria yet?”

“Yup, yesterday, like clockwork. Cute as a button, too…your dad called her Molly Maybe.”

Jack said, “I can’t wait to see her—come on, Aunt Lacey. You gotta see this!”

Heavy rain must have fallen here earlier; the track was still muddy in places. But even if it had been dry, Lacey wouldn’t have jumped at the chance to traipse off looking at animals. That had been Alice’s life. It certainly wasn’t her idea of a good time.

“No, thanks,” she said. “I’ll pass.”

“Okay. But thanks for taking me over!” Jack ran around to her side of the car, and put up his arms for a hug.

She leaned over and gave him a warm one. “I enjoyed the trip,” she said. “It’s always fun to have an outing with such a cool young dude!”

Jack beamed with pleasure. Then turning to the ranch hand, he said, “Let’s go, Arthur!”