Pregnesia

“What I feel is that you need to put your overactive cynicism aside when you talk to her. She may not have amnesia, but she’s obviously in trouble.” Loretta drained her coffee cup and got up from the table. “I’ve got to get to work.”

Lucas walked with her to the front door where she turned to look at him once again. “Feed her something, Lucas. And if she needs to stay here a couple more days, it’s fine with me.” She reached up and kissed Lucas on the cheek, then left.

Lucas returned to the kitchen, poured himself a cup of coffee and then sat at the table. He wasn’t surprised by his sister’s generous offer to a stranger. Loretta made a habit of helping people.

Sometimes it amazed him how his sister had survived the dysfunction of their past with such a goodness of spirit, such a pure, sweet soul. Too bad he couldn’t say the same about himself.

He had his cup halfway to his mouth when Jane appeared in the doorway. She was clad in a white nightgown that stretched taut across her breasts and her belly. Her blond, curly hair was tousled, and it was obvious by the widening of her eyes that she’d expected to find Loretta, not Lucas, in the kitchen.

“Oh!” She instantly hunched her shoulders and crossed one arm over her breasts. Her lower lip trembled and her eyes looked as if she’d been crying. Once again Lucas felt a strange surge of protectiveness. “I’ll just … I’ll be right back.” She darted out of the kitchen and back down the hallway.

It was only then that Lucas realized he’d been holding his breath. He took a sip of his coffee and tried to forget the vision of her, so soft and feminine, and so utterly vulnerable.

She returned moments later, this time clad in the jeans and the dirty, bloodstained white blouse she’d worn the night before.

“Doesn’t Loretta have something you can wear?” he asked.

“Your sister is tiny.” She placed a hand on her stomach. “And right now I’m not. She didn’t have anything big enough to fit my stomach.”

“Sit down and I’ll get you a cup of coffee,” he said.

He got up as she sat. He poured her a cup of coffee and carried it to the table, where he set it before her.

“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked.

To Lucas’s horror, she burst into tears. “I thought everything would be all right this morning,” she said between sobs. “I thought I’d wake up and I’d know who I was and what happened, but I don’t know any more now than I did last night.”

The sobs were painful to watch. Lucas grabbed a handful of napkins and handed them to her. She was either the greatest actress on the face of the earth or she was telling the truth.

She cried so hard he got worried about her, about the baby. He pulled up a chair next to her and awkwardly patted her back. “Don’t cry,” he said. “We’ll sort this out, but you’ve got to stop crying. It can’t be good for the baby.”

That seemed to penetrate into her head, because the sobs wore down to sniffles, and finally ceased altogether. She wiped her cheeks, and when she looked at him once again, there was desperation in her eyes.

“I’m so afraid,” she said. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.”

“For now, nothing is going to happen,” Lucas replied. “You’re safe here. Loretta told me to tell you that you’re welcome to stay for a couple of days until you feel better.”

Tears welled up in her eyes once again. “I can’t believe how kind you’re being to me.”

He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t him, that his sister was the kind one. He was the cynical one who still didn’t know whether to believe her or not.

But for the moment he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. If she was lying, then sooner or later he would know. If she was telling the truth, then he sure as hell didn’t want to be responsible for tossing a pregnant woman out on the streets all alone with no money and no memory.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Starving. I can’t remember the last time I ate.” A half-hysterical spurt of laughter burst out of her.

“Scrambled eggs okay?” he asked as he got up from the table.

“Fine. But please, you don’t have to wait on me. If you’ll just show me where things are, I can do for myself.” She started to get up, but he waved her back down.

“I’ll take care of it, just sit tight.” He got the eggs from the refrigerator and set to work making breakfast.

As he worked she stared out the window, tiny frown lines dancing across her forehead. Again he was struck by her prettiness. She wasn’t screamingly drop-dead gorgeous, but rather she had a quiet, simmering beauty. He frowned and whipped the eggs more forcefully than necessary.

The last thing he needed was to be attracted to her. She obviously had a man in her life. And in any case Lucas didn’t do relationships.

She continued to stare out the window as if lost in thought while he fixed the eggs and popped in toast. Then once it was all done he placed the food on two plates, one for her and one for himself.

“Lucas?” She turned to look at him, her blue eyes troubled. “I know this sounds crazy, but I have a terrible feeling that I’m in real danger.”

He set the plates on the table with a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. This was growing more complicated by the minute. And there was nothing Lucas hated more than complication.

JANE STARED AT HIM and tried not to notice that his dark hair had a gleaming shine to it that made it look silky soft and that he smelled like soap and shaving cream and a hint of a clean cologne. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

Since the moment she’d told him that she didn’t know who she was, that she had no idea what had happened to her, she’d sensed his suspicious disbelief. And she wasn’t sure why it was so important to her that he accept what she was telling him.

“I don’t know what I believe,” he finally replied. “I think it’s possible you had a fight with your boyfriend or husband or whatever, and you need a safe place to hide out until things cool off and the two of you can kiss and make up.”

She reached up and touched her forehead with a frown. “I can’t imagine wanting to kiss and make up with anyone who did this to me.”

He picked up his fork. “He’ll buy you flowers or candy and swear he’ll never touch you again and you’ll end up going back and things will be great until the next time he loses his temper.” His voice held a harshness in tone.

“I wouldn’t be involved with a man like that,” she exclaimed.

He raised a dark eyebrow. “How do you know?”

She felt the warmth of a blush on her cheeks. “I might not know who I am, but I know what I’d tolerate, and I’d never stay with a man who put his hands on me.”

She felt a swell of tears burning at her eyes and bit them back. She’d cried herself to sleep the night before and had awakened and cried some more. She was tired of crying. “Maybe nobody hit me. Maybe I just fell and hit my head on something,” she said.

“I don’t think so,” he replied. “Do you have bruised knees? Scraped-up palms? Anything that might indicate you’d fallen?”

“No.”

“That scrape on your head doesn’t look like it’s the result of a fall. It looks like you were hit with something.” He leaned forward and she realized his dark eyes had tiny shards of silver in them. “You know, if you’re just scared and need a place to hang out for a couple of days, it’s all right to tell me. You don’t have to make up any stories.”

“I’m not making anything up. I don’t know what to do to make you believe me. I don’t know what to say to make you understand that I’m not lying.”

Those dark eyes of his studied her intently. “Eat your eggs and toast before they get cold.”

They ate for a few minutes without speaking, until she couldn’t stand the tense silence another minute longer. “Your sister seems really nice,” she said.

He nodded. “She’s a sucker for people in need.”

“And you’re not?”

The corners of his lips turned up in a humorless smile. “I’m not a sucker for anyone or anything.”

“I know your sister is a nurse, but I’m not sure exactly what it is you do.”

“I own a company, Recovery Inc., with two of my friends. We were all Navy SEALs together, and when we got out of the service we opened the business.”

“And you repossess cars?”

He frowned, as if the question irritated him. “Last night was not our normal kind of job. I did that as a favor for the owner of the car dealership.”

“So, what is your normal kind of job?” she asked. It was a welcome relief to be wondering about him instead of wondering about herself.

“We recover items and return them to the people they belong to. But it’s really not important what I do. What’s important is what we’re going to do about you.”

“I should probably go. I’m really not your problem.” She tried to ignore the terror that coursed through her at the thought of having to leave, of not knowing where she would go.

“If I let you leave under these conditions, Loretta will have my head,” he replied. He stood and grabbed their plates from the table and carried them to the sink. “Our first order of business today is to get you a few things from the store. You need a change of clothing and some personal items if you’re going to stay here for a couple of days.”

She felt terrible. She didn’t want to take advantage of either Loretta or Lucas. But no matter how much she wanted to claim back her own life, she didn’t know where to begin.

“I can’t believe this,” she said more to herself than to him. Once again she directed her gaze out the window where the sun hid beneath a blanket of low gray clouds. She felt as if the sun was her memory, hiding someplace inside her and refusing to come out into the light.

She looked at him once again and cradled her stomach with her arms. “If it were just me, I’d leave. I’d never take advantage of your kindness.”

He leaned against the counter, those dark eyes of his impossible to read. “I’ll go to my place and get you a T-shirt and a jacket, and we’ll head to Wal-Mart to pick up what you need.”

“Whatever you buy for me, I’ll pay you back. I swear I will just as soon as I figure out who I am and where I belong.” She frowned and tried to ignore the headache that had begun to pound across the top of her head. “Maybe as the day wears on, something will jiggle my memory.”

She couldn’t imagine going day after day with no memories, with no knowledge of something as simple as her own name.

“Maybe,” he replied. He shoved off from the counter. “I’ll just get that shirt and jacket. I’ll be right back.”

As he left the kitchen she leaned back in her chair and drew a deep breath. She raised a hand and touched the scab that had formed on her forehead.

What had happened to her? Why couldn’t she remember? What if a couple of days passed and she still didn’t know who she was, or where she belonged? What then? She couldn’t just continue to stay here forever. She could take advantage of Loretta’s kindness only so long.

She dropped her hand to her belly and rubbed with a caressing motion. She thought the baby was a boy. Of course she didn’t remember anyone telling her that, had no concrete memory, it was just something she knew. Like she knew that she hated peanut butter and loved pizza.

Lucas returned with the large T-shirt and a down-filled navy ski jacket. She took the shirt and returned to the bedroom where she’d slept to put it on.

Her bloodstained blouse was probably ruined. She couldn’t imagine any laundry detergent that would be able to wash away all traces of the blood.

Lucas’s T-shirt hung across her slender shoulders and pulled slightly across her belly, but wearing the clean cotton material that smelled faintly of fabric softener made her feel better.

She left the bedroom and found Lucas waiting for her on the sofa. He stood as she entered the room, his gaze sliding from the top of her head down to her belly.

Self-consciously she placed a hand on her stomach. “Your shirt isn’t exactly made for two,” she said. “I hope I don’t stretch it too much.”

“I’m not worried about it,” he replied, and held out the coat to help her into it.

It easily wrapped around her and along with its warmth brought that scent of him, that pleasant fragrance of clean cologne and male. She found it oddly comforting.

“Ready?” he asked.

She nodded and together they left Loretta’s apartment and walked out into the hallway. “Am I keeping you from a wife or a girlfriend?” she asked as they passed his apartment door.

“No, you aren’t keeping me from anything or anyone,” he replied.

“What about your job? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

He flashed her a quick smile. It was the first smile she’d seen from him and it shot a flutter of warmth through her. “One of the perks of owning the company is getting to pick and choose when you decide to work.”

She nodded and fell silent as they walked out into the brisk November air and headed for his car. What kind of a woman was she to be carrying somebody else’s baby and feel that burst of heat at the smile of a virtual stranger?

There had been a moment when his gaze had drifted over her that she’d wished her tummy was thin and shapely, that they’d met in the grocery store or at a restaurant and were together because of a mutual attraction.

Maybe she hadn’t just lost her memory, maybe she’d lost her entire mind, she thought as she slid into his passenger seat.

Stress. It had to be stress that had her thinking such crazy thoughts. The only thing she knew she could count on, at least for the moment, was Lucas and his sister. Was it any wonder she would be attracted to him?

“If you don’t recover your memory sometime today, then tomorrow I’ll make some discreet inquiries about missing persons reports that have been filed in the last day or so,” Lucas said as he started the car. “Surely somebody you know will get worried and report you missing.”

“Unless nobody cares that I’m missing,” she replied.

He shot her a quick look. “I would find that hard to believe.”

She released a wry laugh. “I find this entire situation hard to believe.”

“Let’s play a little game. I’ll ask you some questions and you give me the first answer that pops into your head.”

“Okay,” she agreed as he pulled out of the apartment parking lot.

“What’s your favorite television show?”

“The Closer,” she replied without any real thought.

He nodded. “Good. And what was the last movie you went to see?”

“I don’t go to the movie theater very often.” She tried not to think about the tiny nuggets of information the answers revealed about herself, afraid that the nuggets would stop coming.

“What’s your favorite restaurant here in the city?”

“That’s easy, Café Italian on Maple Street.” A buzz of excitement went off inside her. “Maybe they’ll know me in there. Maybe they can tell us who I am.”

“I know the place. It isn’t far from where I found you last night in the car. Maybe we’ll go there for lunch and see what we can find out.”

Jane’s excitement grew. It was possible that by lunchtime she’d know who she was; she’d at least know her name. Surely that would make it easier for her to find out what had happened to her.

“It’s a place to start,” he said, invading her thoughts. He pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot and found a space near the front door. At this time of the morning the store didn’t look too busy.

They got out of the car and had taken only a couple of steps toward the door when a voice inside her head thundered.

Don’t let them find you.

The words seemed to come from some separate entity inside her brain and they screamed with an alarm that froze her in her tracks.

Instinctively she reached out and grabbed Lucas’s hand as fear charged through her. He curled his fingers with hers as he looked at her with concern. “Are you all right?” he asked. “Is it the baby?”

Two thoughts raced through her mind. The first was that she liked the way his big, strong hand felt around hers, and the second was that the voice she’d thought she’d heard in her head had probably been nothing more than a response to the drama of her situation.

She suddenly felt foolish. She unfurled her fingers from his and gave a small laugh. “No, it’s not the baby. I guess I just had a case of nerves.”

He dropped his hand to his side and studied her intently. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. The only thing you have to worry about is being overwhelmed by all the choices.”

She forced a smile. “That never happens with women,” she said.

Once again they began to walk to the door. Surely the words that had thundered in her head meant nothing, she told herself. But what worried her was they hadn’t sounded like nothing. They had sounded like a warning … but a warning of what?

Chapter Three

Once again Lucas found himself doubting the veracity of her amnesia story. Something had happened in the parking lot. He thought she might have thought of something or remembered something that she apparently didn’t want to tell him.

She didn’t trust him. How could he help her if she didn’t trust him?

Lucas pushed the cart with one hand, took Jane by her elbow and guided her down an aisle. When he’d seen her in his T-shirt he’d realized how tiny she was despite her pregnancy. The baby weight was all up front like a ball in her belly, but everywhere else she was slender.

“If you’ll just get me a blouse and a toothbrush, that should be enough,” she said as they walked through the linen section toward the back of the store.

Lucas didn’t know a lot about women, but there was no way he believed she could make do for a day or two with just a new blouse and the jeans she had on.

When they reached the maternity clothes, she headed directly to a clearance rack. Apparently she meant to spend as little of his money as possible.

As she thumbed through the discounted items, he spied a blue cotton long-sleeved blouse exactly the color of her eyes and plucked it from the rack. He threw it into the basket, then added an oversized blue and white sweater.

Although she hadn’t mentioned it, she probably needed some underwear, too. He certainly didn’t want to completely outfit a woman who might return to a husband or a boyfriend before nightfall. She had a life somewhere, with clothes and shoes and everything else necessary. Still, he didn’t want her to do without the bare necessities while she was with him for a day or two.

She returned to where he stood with the cart, carrying an ugly gray T-shirt that had probably been the cheapest on the rack.

“I don’t think so,” he said. She looked at him in surprise. “If I’m going to be looking at you for the next day or two, I don’t want you wearing something ugly.”

“But it’s only five dollars,” she protested.

“There’s a reason it’s so cheap.” He took it from her and hung it on a nearby rack. “What about that pink shirt there?” He pointed to a pastel T-shirt that said Baby on Board. “With another pair of slacks, you should be all right with the other things I grabbed,” he said. He averted his gaze from her. “Then we’ll head to the underclothes department and you can get what you need.”

She grabbed him by the arm and when he looked at her, those beautiful blue eyes of hers were once again misty with tears. “I can only hope that the father of this baby is half the man you are, Lucas.”

“Don’t make me into some kind of a hero,” he replied with a definite edge in his voice. “I’m just doing what anyone would do under the circumstances.”

As they left the maternity section and headed to the undergarments department, he wanted to tell her that he was the last person she should look at with such soft, appealing eyes, with that hint of hero worship that made him feel too warm inside his own skin.

As she picked out a package of panties, he stood at the end of the aisle and waited for her. An old woman stood at the other end of the aisle and appeared to be looking at Jane. When she saw Lucas she offered a sweet smile, then moved on to another aisle.

Jane returned to the cart and threw in her choices. Her cheeks were slightly pink as she looked at him. “I hope I’m a wealthy woman because I’m going to owe you a bunch of money.”

“Don’t be silly,” he replied. He pointed to the nightgowns. “You need to pick out one of those,” he said.

“Oh no, that’s all right. Loretta gave me one to wear,” she replied.

Lucas frowned, remembering when she’d stepped into the kitchen in his sister’s nightgown. “That one can’t be comfortable. I saw how it pulled across your stomach. Just pick out one that will fit you comfortably.”

As she moved to the rack to look at the items, he tried to forget that vision of her. That nightgown of Loretta’s hadn’t just pulled taut across her belly, but across her breasts, as well. Her hair had been all tousled and she’d looked achingly soft and feminine.

For just an instant as he’d held that coffee cup frozen halfway to his mouth, he’d wondered what it would be like to wake up with a woman like Jane next to him. When half-asleep, would he rub the swell of her belly and dream of the future of the baby she carried?

Jeez, what was wrong with him? He’d never thought about babies before. The last thing he’d ever wanted to be was a husband and a father. He simply wasn’t cut out for either role. Jane felt just a little dangerous to him. She made him think of things he’d never thought of before.

She picked a pale pink nightgown and added it to the growing number of items in the shopping cart. He then pointed the cart in the direction of the toiletries section. She walked beside him and paused a moment to rub her lower back.

“Sorry,” she said, and smiled. “Junior must be stretched out right along my spine.”

Her smile torched a wave of heat through him. It was the first true smile he’d seen from her and it did amazing things to her already-lovely face. Even the scab across her forehead couldn’t detract from her attractiveness.

Suddenly, he was irritated. All he wanted to do was solve the mystery of his Ms. Jane Doe and get her on her way and out of his life.

He noticed the old woman who’d been in the underwear section now at the end of the aisle where Jane stood in front of the hair care items. Once again when she saw him looking at her she smiled. She dug a cell phone out of her purse and then disappeared around the corner.

It was easier focusing on a little white-haired woman than watching Jane. He’d been too long without a woman. That was the problem. It had been months since he’d been out with anyone.

His last date had been with a friend of his partner Troy’s girlfriend, Bree. Miranda had flown in from California for a weekend visit and Lucas had taken her out. She’d been perfect for him, very hot and very temporary. He frowned in irritation as he realized Jane got to him in a way Miranda hadn’t. There was a softness about Jane, a sweetness in her smile, a fragile light in her eyes that pulled up a protectiveness in him he’d never felt for anyone except his sister.

“I think that’s everything I should need.” Jane pulled him from his thoughts as she added a hairbrush, a toothbrush and a bottle of citrus-scented shampoo to the cart.

“Then let’s get out of here,” Lucas said. He blew a sigh of relief as they headed for the cashier lines. Maybe if he took her to Café Italian for an early lunch, somebody at the restaurant would recognize her and the mystery would be solved.

They fell into line behind a woman who looked as if she’d bought half the store. Jane covered his hand with hers on the handle of the cart. Her hand was warm on his skin as she looked up at him. “I can’t thank you enough,” she said. “I couldn’t face wearing that bloody blouse all day today.”

“We’ll run back to Loretta’s so you can change clothes, then head to the restaurant to see if anybody there knows your name.”