The Come-Back Cowboy
He let the relief just barely touch Addie’s expression before he added, “The name’s Deke Larrabie.”
Brody frowned. “Larrabie? You mean you’re…?”
“That’s right—Jace’s long-lost daddy, come back to stay.”
Connor’s expression of stunned hurt tore a patch of anger through Addie a mile wide—yet failed to entirely uproot her own culpability.
Even though Connor and his father were very different, she could see why Deke would take particular issue with the fact that she’d have anything to do with Mick Brody’s family, considering Mick’s scathing condemnation of Deke and his father the night D.K. Larrabie died.
Of course, everyone also knew Mick had never gotten over it when D.K. ran off with his intended bride years before. Not many county folk had blamed Mick for getting a bit of his own back, even if it couldn’t have been done at a crueler time.
But what better reason was there to bury such ancient history for good! Connor wasn’t to blame for his father’s actions any more than Deke was for D.K.’s.
She noticed Connor concentrating on straightening the silver conchos on his braided leather hatband in the removed manner she’d come to recognize as his way of closing off his doubts about her feelings for him—and Jace’s objections to him as his new father.
Blast it! She should have gone with her first impulse and hustled Connor away from the Bar G so she could make her explanations to him in her own way and time. But no, she’d had to provoke Deke, practically waving a red flag in front of him.
It had cost her, too, with that inadvertent contact between them that had shocked her in its intensity. And rekindled feelings in her she’d thought herself well shed of.
But it’d always been that way between them as they egged each other on, almost dare-like. On the upside, they had spurred each other forward to chart new territory, develop new skills and face down fears. On the downside, they’d urged each other on to greater and greater heights of expressing the kind of passion that was born out of a pair of natures that had never known defeat in their young lives, and so had no reason for caution.
No, Addie was forced to admit, Deke was not to blame for a lot of things, including her own reckless surrender to him.
“You could have told me, Addie,” Connor said quietly, bringing her out of her thoughts. “That you’d hired Deke Larrabie to take over the work we were going to do together on the Bar G.” He lifted his head and shot Deke a challenging glance. “And to take over the job of Jace’s father in place of me.”
“Connor.” Addie reached for his hand, giving him her most sincere look. “First of all, Deke showin’ up this morning was as big a surprise to me as it was to you—and Jace. And second, nothing’s changed of our plans.” She squeezed his fingers. “Think about it a minute. You know one of the things that’s been so important to me is that we get the Bar G’s future taken care of while gettin’ you settled in running the Tanglewood after we’re married. Deke’s being hired to do some troubleshooting? Well, that’s a temporary thing, as far as I’m concerned.”
She couldn’t even think of glancing at Deke, she was so put out with him. Connor didn’t deserve this. So theirs was no great love affair. She was very fond of him. And sure, he might lack in ranching skills, but he was steady and willing to do what it took to succeed—and she truly believed that with time Jace would come around to appreciating that. She and Connor had even discussed giving her son time to get used to him and not pushing Connor in the role of father, given the issues that had come up about Jace’s real daddy.
Which brought her back to her own responsibility in this morning’s little drama.
“As for Deke being Jace’s father, well, I know we’ve never really talked about it, since it’s pretty much common knowledge around here, except to Jace—” Addie took a deep breath and admitted frankly, “and Deke. He only just today learned himself that he was a daddy.”
Connor let go of her hand and leaned back on the front fender of the pickup truck, now clearly confused—and, she could see, completely disillusioned.
She guessed if anyone here had a right to be, he did.
A sparrow landed in a nearby puddle and made a production out of taking a bath. The rain had finally let up, and the sun beat down on the three of them as they stood in a silent triangle.
Addie lifted her hand, rubbing her forehead. She knew that further explanation was needed, just as she knew that the damage done to everyone involved was not going to be easily repaired. It felt, however, as if the burden of making that effort rested primarily on her—as had the past six years during which she’d struggled to raise a child, look after a failing parent, and keep the family business profitable.
What other choice did she have, though?
With longing, she turned her gaze to her mother’s gazebo. She hadn’t taken advantage in a long while of the steadying, perspective-building influence this special place had always provided her. She was simply too busy, with a million things to get done, and a million more to think about doing.
Oh, Mama, how I miss you!
Not for the first time, Addie wished for someone to turn to who might provide her with support. Not necessarily someone to bail her out, nor even someone to lean on. Just someone to…be there—to share the burden.
Addie slowly became aware of Deke studying her with that eagle-sharp gaze of his. Dropping her hand, she didn’t bother to hide from him every bit of her world-weariness and discouragement.
And so she was surprised when he took a step forward, his own expression no longer challenging but decisive.
“Look, Brody, I’m as much in the dark as Addie about why Jud never mentioned to her about hiring me back on the Bar G,” he said. “Maybe he’s thinkin’ Addie could use a little help herself—what with her marrying and moving and all—with keeping the Bar G going. Or maybe he just thought that bringin’ a fresh pair of eyes to the ranch might be good for it, as it nearly always is in any business. You can be sure I intend to ask Jud what his plans are, first opportunity I get, and I’d recommend you and Addie do the same.”
Tipping his hat back a notch, he took an appraising look around the ranch yard and beyond. “I’m willin’ to evaluate the operation and give my feedback for how the ranch might be run more efficiently and profitably, whether I’ll be involved in that effort or not. That’s for y’all to decide.”
His gaze came back around to them, and Addie realized she was being treated to yet another side of Deke Larrabie she’d never seen before. “I will say in Jud’s defense that whatever his plans, you can rest assured he hired the right man to do the job. In the past five years I’ve revamped operations on ranches twice the size of the Bar G, so that now they’re well into the black.”
Connor straightened in surprise. “Well, thanks, Deke. That’s sure big of you—you know, considerin’.”
“No thanks needed,” Deke said tersely. “It’s my job.”
Then he squared off in front of both Connor and her, but Addie knew Deke’s message was for her alone. “As for bein’ Jace’s daddy, you can be sure I’m as prepared to handle that responsibility, too. I know you’ve made some plans of your own along those lines, but I’m here to tell you that I expect you to revise them to include me.”
His face was a study in fierce determination, and its aspect was so undiluted Deke Larrabie that it caused a frisson of fear to sizzle up her spine, even before he said, “Or believe me, I’ll take without askin’ what’s rightfully mine.”
He gave the brim of his hat a tug down in the front, making his eyes stand out even more starkly against his tanned face. “Now if you’ll excuse me, until I hear different, I’ve got a job to do.”
Stunned speechless, Addie watched him stride with purpose to the building where the ranch office was located.
Who was that man who’d just sized up the situation and taken charge of it? Certainly not the Deke Larrabie she’d known before—except for his single-minded focus that in the past she’d experienced only as directed at her, making her feel as if she were the only other person in his world.
Yet she’d also experienced the loss of that all-exclusive focus, and it had nearly been the end of her.
She shivered suddenly, even in the claustrophobic heat. Deke had certainly sounded as if he meant business about taking responsibility for what was his. For Jace’s sake, she’d have to be very careful.
And for her own sake, as well. Because somehow Addie got the feeling that Deke Larrabie’s definition of what was his included her.
Chapter Three
D eke stepped into the Bar G Ranch stable. Amazingly, it looked the same as it always had.
Bridles and reins were hung neatly on pegs along one wall. Opposite was a variety of other horse tack and cowboy gear—harnesses, ropes and such. Just beneath, a row of stock saddles, including a hand-tooled one Deke knew to be Jud’s pride and joy, sat on their racks. The pungent scent of leather and horse sweat rose up to meet his nose, making him yearn abruptly for that feeling of a well-trained horse galloping beneath him, a rope in his hand and a runaway steer trained in his sights.
At the thought, his gaze searched the rigging for one item in particular. His spirits lifted when he spotted it: a coiled catch rope, its color a dull brown from thousands of encounters with the dusty necks and dirty hooves of as many beeves.
Deke lifted the lariat off its peg, looping the coil over his right hand while taking the twisted nylon between his left thumb and forefinger. Its surface was taffy smooth, its girth still with just the slightest give, even after all these years.
No, neither had it hardened completely in his absence.
He lifted his head, and his gaze went unerringly to the doorway in the opposite wall leading to the small room off the back. Wondering when he’d developed such a masochistic streak, he drifted closer to push open the heavy door and see inside.
Light from a small, high window cast a beam onto the bunk directly under it. The narrow berth traditionally served as a place where the weary cowboy could take a break from roundup or catch a few winks while a mama cow struggled through a difficult birth. For Deke, however, this was where he’d made fumbling, awkward love to Addie Gentry.
Awkward, yes—but oh, every moment had been pure heaven.
“Checkin’ to make sure you haven’t hooked up with a shoddy outfit, are ya?” The voice echoed in the open space.
With the quick pass of his palm over his face, Deke turned. “Not the Bar G, Jud. Everybody knew you’d send packing the cowboy who let one horse go untended or one cow without care.”
“You got the right of it.”
Leaning heavily on a cane, Jud Gentry shuffled forward to take Deke’s hand and shake it. Deke pretended not to notice how weak the grip had become, how faltering and uneven his step.
Jud Gentry wasn’t an old man, by any means. But it had been clear enough ten years ago that his Parkinson’s disease was progressing quickly. Anticipating the day when he’d need to turn over the bulk of managing the ranch to someone both he and his daughter could trust and depend upon, Jud had picked Deke’s father to groom for that role.
The whole county had thought Jud crazy as a loon.
In true Gentry fashion, he cut to the chase. “Thought I’d come see for myself the cowboy my grandson said showed up and got his mama half riled.”
“That would be me,” Deke admitted.
“Figured.” Jud sighed. “I wasn’t expectin’ you for another couple of weeks, so I guess you can understand why your appearance here was such a surprise—to everyone.”
“Finished the job up north and didn’t see the harm in coming on down early.” Deke decided as long as they were taking their conversation neat, he’d give it a shot. “I’d’ve given you some warning, Jud, if you’d given me some.”
The older man hobbled over to the rigging-filled wall. “T’weren’t my news to tell. I’ll admit I’m to blame, though, for putting off apprisin’ Addie of the arrangement we’d made. I was waitin’ for the right moment. But I guess there really ain’t a good time to break the news to a daughter that the father of her son is returnin’ after seven years away.”
“Nope.” Deke studied the slab floor underfoot, determined not to be put off by the hint of accusation in Jud’s tone. “Nor tellin’ a man he’s been a father for about as long.” He lifted his head. “Why, Jud? Sure, I’m to blame for bein’ scarce, but why’d y’all stop lookin’ for me after nine months?”
Jud’s gaze was direct. “Because of Addie, of course. Oh, she didn’t want me looking for you from the first, but that was because she was sure you’d come back of your own accord.”
“She was?” Another lightning-quick jab hit his vitals.
“Yup. But after the months wore on, with no sign of you and not one clue as to where you’d got to, somethin’ changed in her.” Turning, Jud straightened a halter one inch to the left. “As I said, though, that’s her story to tell. And why, when I got that call from you about the troubleshootin’ job I’d advertised, I didn’t mention Jace to you. I figured, though, that since you’d made contact, you’d a right to know about him. ’Specially now.”
“You mean with Addie marrying Connor Brody.”
Deke’s tone had been even, but Jud must have caught an edge, for he said, “I didn’t expect that’d set well with you. But much as I don’t blame you your reaction, I still won’t have you puttin’ Addie in the middle of settling an old score with the Brodys. I’m not fond of Mick myself, don’t trust the man one lick, but Connor’s a good sort. You hear?”
“I hear,” Deke said. He wasn’t exactly happy himself with his contentious and, yes, even jealous behavior earlier with Addie and Connor. Jud was right. Clearly, Connor Brody wasn’t in the same league as his father, and Deke would be as bad as Mick to hold the guy to account for something he’d had nothing to do with. Moreover, Addie was moving on with her life; he’d no right to get in the way of her happiness.
Of course, this time he didn’t have the choice of trying to prevent such a fate by leaving.
“So why did you bring me on as a consultant?” he asked.
Jud peered at him from under bushy eyebrows the color of steel and rust. “I’ll be straight with you, son. We’ve never fully recovered from losin’ that breeding facility to fire—” he held up a hand to arrest Deke’s apology “—which is neither here nor there. But if we’ve survived at all, it’s Addie’s doing.”
The craggy lines of Jud’s face softened. “She’s one top-notch rancher herself. Strugglin’ to come back after the fire, though, it’s made her pretty cautious. There’s lots she wants to do here, but she’s set on the Bar G not goin’ another penny into debt.”
Deke chewed the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know your thinking on the subject, but ranching is by nature an occupation of risks. Too much caution’ll kill you as much as too little.”
Jud came back dryly. “Try tellin’ Addie that. You know how headstrong she can be when she gets a notion ’bout something.”
Deke nodded tersely. If he hadn’t seen that determination just now with Addie, he’d certainly known it from before. Except then, the momentum had been the opposite way, forging through adversity—not digging her heels in to put on the brakes.
He supposed that was another sign of that legacy he’d left her with.
“That’s why I’m thinking that once she marries the Brody boy,” Jud continued, “it’ll be the natural thing for the two ranches to share resources to complete some of the improvements on the Bar G that Addie’s of a mind to make. Which, I’ll be frank, don’t set too well with me.”
He at least looked apologetic as he slanted an enquiring look at Deke, meant to see if they were on the same page—although Deke sensed there was some information Jud was omitting.
“But you can’t expect her not to take the Brodys’ help without givin’ her some options. Right?” Deke said.
Jud gave a terse nod.
Absently, Deke fingered into place the honda that made the loop of his catch rope. “Mind, I don’t know what her plans are, but there’re a number of ways to up a ranch’s productivity and guard its assets without it costing a bushel, and I’d be happy to help you and Addie evaluate and implement any and all of them.”
He shot Jud a telling glance. “That is, you, Addie—and Connor. I can see you have your doubts about me, but I’m here to tell you I’m a professional. Still…you may as well know, Jud—Addie’s asked me not to tell Jace I’m his daddy, and I felt I owed it to her to give her my word.”
He gave the loop a testing twirl, stirring the thick air in the stable. “But I’m not about to let any man try to be a father to my son without me getting a fair crack at it, too.”
He held Jud’s gaze steadily, and after a few moments came away with the feeling that, even if he might still have his issues with Deke, they understood each other as men who were doing what they had to do—as fathers.
Knowing he had at least that understanding from Jud helped to ease the wound-up tightness in Deke’s chest. But then, Jud didn’t know the whole story, either. Or, rather, not yet.
A trio of steps took Deke to the doorway of the stable. He scrutinized the scenery beyond, including that rise with the crumbling chimney beneath the towering cottonwood.
“Speakin’ of dads…that fire never would’ve happened, y’know, if I’d been keeping an eye on mine,” he said quietly.
“Now, Deke. The fire was purely accidental.”
“But the accident happened on account of Dad’s fallin’ off the wagon.” Doggedly, he made himself go on. “They found the empty whiskey bottles in his pickup.”
“So they did. That don’t mean any of D.K.’s drinkin’ was your fault,” Jud declared from behind him, then said with a sigh, “If only he hadn’t lost your mama…”
Deke’s jaw went rigid as he tried to swallow back the pain that crowded his throat. He’d known his return would call up all manner of feelings. He’d thought himself past this strong a reaction, however. Apparently he wasn’t.
“I know better’n anyone the reason for my dad’s undoing,” he said. “You don’t have to go into it for my edification.”
“Well, now, maybe I do—for myself. ’Cause I understand how a man’s grief can eat at him so much he’d need to numb the pain any way he can. I lost my wife, too, at a young age. And Addie a mother. That’s why I encouraged your friendship with her.”
Jud’s words had Deke again seeking the scene on the slope. There were other words, though, that needed saying.
“And I betrayed your trust by takin’ advantage of your daughter, then leaving her high and dry, didn’t I.”
The older man said nothing, which was answer enough. Then Jud heaved a heavy sigh. “Hell, I knew why you had to go, Deke. T’wouldn’t have been good for you to stay, no matter what, with your daddy’s mistake hangin’ over your head.”
“For what it’s worth, Jud,” Deke said, gaze still trained on the slope, “I always intended to return and make up for my dad’s fatal mistake. And finally I’ve got the training and experience I didn’t have when I left, to make a real difference to the Bar G.”
He turned. “But I’d never’ve gone if I’d known about Jace,” he said with a low fierceness. “No matter what.”
“I know, son,” Jud said, his blue eyes full of understanding.
Which made it more impossible than ever for Deke to reveal his own fatal flaw, discovered that sundering night, when it had occurred to him the reason D.K. had sought the numbing oblivion of liquor on that particular eve: He had needed to wipe from his mind that it was the anniversary of his wife’s death.
When the realization had hit Deke, the terrible fear it had roused in him—and not any yearning to be his own man—was what spurred him away from the Bar G. Because he knew why he’d forgotten that date.
He’d forgotten because there’d simply been no room in his own mind that evening for anyone or anything but Addie Gentry.
And if he still felt so desperately betrayed by his own will, could there be any hope on earth of her ever forgiving him?
With that thought, something made Deke look around.
There at the doorway stood Addie. And the answer to his question. For in her face he glimpsed again that legacy he’d left her—a loss of hope and trust, but most of all, a loss in the belief of the redeeming power of a man’s love for a woman.
Or was that the legacy that had been left to him?
Addie went still as the bottom dropped out of her world.
Oh, what a fool she was! A fool and a fraud, if only in her own heart. For she’d heard Deke’s fervent words, quite obviously spoken from the bottom of his own heart: I’d never’ve left if I’d known about Jace. No matter what.
So he’d never have left—because of Jace. Would never have come back now—except for the debt he owed her father. Not for her. How could she have hoped or wished or believed differently?
Because…once upon a time, he’d made her believe his promise, so much that even when she’d discovered he’d gone, she’d refused to contemplate that she could be wrong about the man she loved. Even when she’d discovered she was pregnant.
And when her father had set out a search for Deke, he’d done so against her wishes as she faithfully clung to the belief that Deke would come back of his own accord—because of his promise to her.
Even when Jud’s efforts had proved fruitless, indicating that Deke clearly hadn’t wanted to be found. Even then, she’d held out hope with every fiber of her being.
It wasn’t until the night she’d first held her son in her arms, and looked into eyes that were so like the father who hadn’t given any of them the chance to prove their love, that she’d faced the truth: Deke Larrabie was not coming back.
She had thought him the kind who stayed, but obviously he wasn’t the man she believed she’d fallen in love with.
Addie looked up to find Deke’s cat-eyed gaze upon her, its intense focus as seductive as ever.
She lifted her chin, defiant.
“I thought you were goin’ to town with Connor, darlin’,” her father said, breaking the silence in the stable room.
“I changed my plans,” she answered, stepping inside. She still wore her yellow suit and those infernal high-heel shoes, which she was of a mind to use as hole spacers in Opal’s garden patch. That was all they were good for. “And I thought I’d better find out what’s goin’ on with the Bar G that I need to know about. Or am I consigned to fence-sitting when it comes to runnin’ this ranch—and seeing to my son’s welfare?”
She arched an eyebrow at her father, who gave back as good as he got. She still didn’t know the whole story behind Deke’s hiring, but trusted her father would never do anything to deliberately hurt either her or his grandson. Jud had stuck by her through the abyss of Deke’s leaving, and it had been her one sustaining anchor. Of course, that didn’t mean there weren’t occasions when she could chew a railroad tie in two for sheer aggravation with him.
He no doubt felt the same way about her, too, sometimes.
“Believe me, darlin’,” Jud said, “I surely intended to fill you in on my hirin’ Deke. He wasn’t supposed to get here for another couple of weeks.” He leaned heavily on his stock saddle where it rested on its rack. “I’m sorry to have given you such a surprise. I never meant to.”
“But why didn’t you consult me before hiring him, Daddy?” Addie asked, crossing her arms. “You owed me that, I think.”
“Now, darlin’, we did talk about hiring a troubleshooter—”
“And I felt then as I do now, that I’ve got the ability to bring the Bar G solidly back into the black.”
She refused to look at Deke as he stood there, once again privy to a private family conversation and keeping her from asking her father the real questions she wanted to. Why? Why, of all people, did you bring back Deke Larrabie, the man who broke your daughter’s heart?
But then, deep down, she already knew the answer to that one.