‘That “delicious hunk of a man” is merely my stepbrother—–'
‘Nathan Wade has never been merely anything in his life,’ her friend dismissed knowingly. ‘I can't believe you haven't noticed how handsome he is,’ she chided. ‘After all, a stepbrother is no relation at all.'
It would be useless to deny that she hadn't been aware of Nathan's masculinely magnetic pull from the time she had first met him; there had been a constant and steady stream of women in his life the last ten years to testify to that even if she hadn't been aware of it.
‘When someone has watched you progress through braces on your teeth, pimples, braids, and a flat chest, there doesn't seem any place left for romance,’ she avoided drily.
‘I would have made sure he noticed the disappearance of the braids, the brace and the pimples, and the appearance of my breasts,’ Carolyn told her enviously. ‘We would probably have been sharing a bed by the time I reached seventeen!'
Brenna didn't doubt that, and smiled affectionately at her friend. Before she met Nick, Carolyn had known a lot of other men, she was a woman that men seemed to like instinctively. Except Nathan, she realised frowningly. Probably her friends weren't good enough for him!
‘I was still wearing the brace at seventeen,’ she dismissed scornfully.
‘But surely… Oh, never mind,’ Carolyn sighed frustratedly at Brenna's closed expression. ‘Where's he taking you?'
‘London. I… He and my sister decided to pay me a surprise visit and I ruined it by not being there.’ She had no intention of discussing this family crisis with Carolyn, considering it too personal. ‘She's waiting in London for me.’ Which was true—she hoped!
‘Your sister came over with Nathan?’ Carolyn frowned. ‘But I thought she was married to someone called Grant? Why…?'
‘She is. Look, I really don't have the time to talk right now, Carolyn,’ Brenna cut in briskly. ‘I have to get my packing done; Nathan doesn't like to be kept waiting,’ she added truthfully, remembering a couple of times he had been waiting up for her when she arrived home later from a date than she had said she would. And she could do without his chilly sarcasm in front of her friends!
Carolyn stood up in a graceful movement, sighing her disappointment. ‘You're really no fun when it comes to confidences, Brenna,’ she complained. ‘I've told you all about my life before I met Nick.'
And some of it had made her toes curl! But she liked Carolyn, and the two of them worked very well together, she just had no intention of discussing her complicated family tree, and the problems her mother's marriage to Patrick Wade had made for all concerned.
‘Maybe when I get back.'
‘How long will you be gone?’ Carolyn was completely professional now, the deadline for the book being only weeks away.
Brenna grimaced. ‘I'm really not sure.’ Everything depended on whether or not Lesli came to her, and what her sister decided to do then.
‘Call me as soon as you know,’ Carolyn instructed as she made her way out of the room. ‘We're really on a tight schedule.'
She knew that, it was the reason they had sought the peace and privacy of this out-of-the-way cottage. But if Carolyn and Nick hadn't disappeared to Florida for the month of July they wouldn't have had this problem.
But she didn't argue that point, but nodded abruptly, concentrating on getting her cases packed so that she and Nathan could leave.
Carolyn had prepared a tray of coffee during Brenna's absence—it had to be coffee, Nathan didn't drink tea!—as the three of them sat together in the lounge. Nathan looked very relaxed as he lounged in his chair, his jacket casually flung over the back of it, as if he had no intention of giving it up in case it got lost in the clutter that Carolyn surrounded herself with wherever she went. Brenna anxiously searched their faces, deciding that Nathan looked the most relaxed—and wondering what he had said or done to put that wary look in the eyes of the other couple. He returned her accusing look with bland indifference to her discomfort.
She said hasty goodbyes to Carolyn and Nick while Nathan put her luggage in the back of the sleek car he had hired, its smooth compact lines telling of its exclusive nameplate. She barely waited before they were down the lane and out on to the road before turning on him. ‘Well?’ she demanded.
He shot her a cursory glance before turning back to the road. ‘Well what?’ he drawled unhelpfully.
‘What did you say to them?’ Her eyes were narrowed suspiciously.
He shrugged. ‘We barely spoke while you were upstairs packing.'
‘What did you say to them?'
‘Calm down, Brenna,’ he advised impatiently.
‘I am calm,’ she ground out. ‘I just want to know what you said to upset my friends.'
‘They weren't upset.'
‘Nathan!'
He gave a weary sigh. ‘I merely expressed regret for breaking up your ménage à trois. That is the fashionable description for what you were doing, isn't it?’ he added harshly.
Strangely the insult made her feel like crying rather than shouting. That Nathan could think she had changed so much as to be involved in anything so distasteful! She had been a virgin when they made love, did he really think she could have become such a wanton in the last year?
‘Maybe I shouldn't have made love to you when I did.’ The same memories seemed to be going through his mind, making his expression grim. ‘If I hadn't maybe you wouldn't have felt free to experiment with other men.'
There had been no other men. She wasn't stupid, she knew that what she and Nathan had shared that last night in Canada had been unique, unmatchable with any other man. She knew that just as surely as she recognised that, for her own sanity, it could never be repeated. Never, she vowed with a shudder. It had taken her months to accept that she and Nathan had made love. And she wasn't going to let herself fall into the same trap her mother and Lesli had.
‘Brenna?'
She flinched as he would have touched her, moving as far away from him as she could.
‘What the hell!’ Nathan's face darkened like a thunder-cloud as he turned to look at her. ‘Brenna, what is it?’ He frowned at how pale she had become.
‘What is it?’ she repeated haltingly, still very disturbed. ‘It isn't every day I'm accused of being a whore!'
‘I never called you that!’ he rasped.
‘As good as.’ She flushed in her anger.
He gave a deep, ragged sigh. ‘Okay, what was your relationship to those two?'
‘I told you, Carolyn writes the books, and I illustrate them.'
‘And Nick Bancroft?'
‘Shares Carolyn's room,’ she told him resentfully. ‘The two of them go everywhere together.'
‘That wasn't the impression I got,’ Nathan bit out contemptuously.
‘Appearances can be deceptive.’ Although Carolyn had been very sexually active before meeting and falling in love with Nick, to her knowledge, for all her friend's talk, Carolyn had been faithful to him since they first fell in love. The habit of flirting with every man she met was obviously a hard one for Carolyn to break. ‘Carolyn writes children's books, not sex manuals!'
‘Okay,’ Nathan sighed. ‘If I was wrong, I'm sorry.'
The words were so quietly spoken Brenna couldn't help wondering if she had imagined them; Nathan never apologised for anything, none of the Wade men did. But this time Nathan had, she could tell that by the angry set of his mouth, the stiff way he sat behind the wheel of the car, as if he deeply resented having to apologise. And Brenna was sure that he did.
She neither accepted nor denied the apology, turning so that she was looking out of the side window, her face stiffly averted all the way back to London.
It was late afternoon by the time they reached London and the top floor of the Victorian building which Brenna occupied, one of the rooms having been converted into a studio for her, the light up there being excellent for her work. She had lived in the flat only a year, moving from the one she had shared with two other girls through college, so that Nathan shouldn't find her if he came looking. It seemed she could have saved herself the trouble, she thought ruefully; Nathan didn't give a damn about reading other people's personal mail to obtain what he wanted.
He carried her two suitcases up the six flights of stairs, putting them down outside her door while Brenna searched for her key in her bag.
She turned to him. ‘If you tell me the name of your hotel I'll call you if I hear from Lesli—–'
‘I booked out of my hotel this morning.’ Nathan took the key out of her hand and deftly turned it in the lock. ‘If Lesli calls or comes here, I'll be waiting for her.’ He gently urged Brenna inside the flat before he followed with the two suitcases.
‘Here?’ Brenna finally managed to gasp. ‘You mean here?’ She came to an abrupt halt just inside the lounge when she saw the brown suitcase standing in the middle of the room. ‘Yours?’ she squeaked at Nathan.
His mouth quirked. ‘When I explained to your landlady that I'm your brother, and flashed Lesli's and Grant's wedding photograph at her with the four of us standing together, she was kind enough to unlock your door and let me leave my case here. So you see, Brenna, I'm here for the duration.'
CHAPTER TWO
BRENNA’S eyes shot sparks at Nathan's arrogance, his downright nerve in daring to assume he could do such a thing. ‘I don't care what you told Mrs Marlow, you are not staying here!’ she told him furiously. ‘You had no right to have your case put here under false pretences. I ought to telephone the police.'
‘And tell them what? I am your brother—–'
‘Like hell you are! You—–'
‘Brenna,’ Nathan's voice was soft, dangerously so, ‘what did I do the last time you swore at me?'
An embarrassed blush darkened her cheeks as she remembered how painful a certain part of her anatomy had been the time she had called him an arrogant bastard. She hadn't been able to sit down comfortably for a week!
‘I'm glad the memory is still with you,’ he drawled, carrying her cases through to her bedroom without the least sign of hesitation. His mouth quirked in amusement as he came back to find her glaring at him accusingly. ‘I had a look round this morning,’ he mocked.
‘Checking to see if I had a live-in lover?’ she snapped resentfully.
He shrugged. ‘I was just curious about where you had been living since you left college. I wasn't aware that an illustrator was paid enough to afford a place like this.’ He sat down uninvited in an armchair, stretching his long legs out in front of him as he turned to arch one eyebrow questioningly at her.
Brenna's mouth firmed. Although this was an attic flat she did occupy the whole floor, three smaller flats on each of the two lower floors, and he was right in his assumption; the rent on this place each month cost her a small fortune.
‘Don't tell me,’ he drawled mockingly, ‘that you've forgotten all your avowals to the contrary and spent some of the Wade money?'
She drew in a shaky breath, hating to have to make the admission. When their parents had died she had been shocked to learn that Patrick had left everything equally among the four children, had been stunned that he hadn't made the distinction between his own children and his second wife's. But neither Nathan or Grant had questioned it, and Brenna had known why; she had known that the money, and Lesli's and her own share of the Wade ranch, was just a pay-off for a guilty conscience from a man who had believed money could atone for all sins. Brenna had known exactly what it was, and refused to accept any of it. But last year when she left college she had had no choice. But as soon as she began to earn money on her illustrating she was going to pay the money back she had borrowed with interest, and had no intention of taking anything from the Wades.
‘I'm going to pay it back,’ she snapped.
‘For God's sake, Brenna—–'
‘You can't stay here, Nathan.’ She turned away.
‘Then you do have a live-in lover?’ he taunted.
‘No—and I don't want one either!’ she glared at him pointedly.
‘Pity,’ he drawled. ‘Still, I did notice a cot-bed in the studio when I looked around this morning, I'm sure I'll be comfortable on that.'
‘There are no curtains at the windows!’ she protested.
‘Then I guess I'll have to go out and buy some pyjamas, won't I?’ he reasoned.
‘Nathan—–'
‘Brenna?’ He arched forbidding black brows.
‘Nathan, you know it wouldn't be right for you to stay here,’ she choked almost pleadingly, knowing she was going to hate herself for the weakness later but not caring at that moment.
His eyes became icy. ‘As you so rightly said earlier, Brenna, that's over,’ he dismissed harshly. ‘I'm here to find Lesli; I'm not going to attempt to touch you. You can trust me, Brenna,’ he sighed at her apprehensive expression.
But could she trust herself? She had wanted this man again ever since that night in his arms, and it wasn't to be. It couldn't be! ‘I'll go down and ask Mrs Marlow if Lesli has been here,’ she said dully.
‘Does that mean I can stay?’ he asked softly.
‘Did I ever have any choice?’ she rasped.
‘You know I've never used force on you,’ Nathan said quietly.
Because he had never needed to, not when it came to the important things. Oh, she fought him over everything, but when it came to the crunch, Nathan always won the battles he really wanted to, and as he said, always without the use of force. Sixteen months ago she had been afraid of committing herself to the domination of his arrogance, and after speaking to her father on her return to England she had been glad of that hesitation. It had saved her from making a mistake that would have surely destroyed her.
Mrs Marlow was a small bird-like woman, always avid to know all that she could about her seven boarders; she was obviously desperate for information about the man with the North American accent who claimed to be Brenna's brother!
‘I hope I did the right thing, dear,’ she spoke curiously. ‘He sounded so convincing.'
Brenna couldn't help wondering, a little cynically, if some of that ‘convincing’ hadn't been in a monetary form. The Wades had shown more than once that they believed everyone and everything had its price, and Mrs Marlow wasn't the type to take anyone's word for anything that they claimed to be.
‘Nathan is my stepbrother,’ she dismissed briskly. ‘Have I had any other visitors during the last few days?’ She frowned, her worry over Lesli paramount. She couldn't think what could have been serious enough for Grant and Lesli to argue about to make her sister walk out on her husband. The two of them had their ups and downs like most married couples, but never like this before. And with the birth of the baby being so close all this couldn't be doing Lesli any good.
‘Wasn't Mr Wade enough?’ the middle-aged woman twittered, habitually fingering the pearls about her throat, the smoky jewels given a pink tinge from the deep rose-coloured blouse she wore tucked neatly into the waistband of her black cotton skirt. ‘How exciting to have a visitor come all that way just to see you!'
Brenna doubted very much that she would find the occurrence exciting even if Nathan had come here specifically to see her. At least, not in the way Mrs Marlow meant!
‘There's no trouble at home, is there, dear?’ the other woman frowned. ‘Only I couldn't help noticing Mr Wade seemed a little—disturbed, when he was here this morning.'
‘No trouble, Mrs Marlow,’ Brenna said firmly, having no intention of satisfying this woman's curiosity either. ‘So I've had no other visitors?’ she persisted, knowing the other woman would keep her chatting here all day while she waited for her answer.
‘No, dear,’ the landlady smiled. ‘But I have your mail here,’ she picked up the dozen or so letters from the hall table behind her and handed them to Brenna.
Brenna could hardly conceal her disappointment at the other woman's negative answer, and absently made her parting as she slowly went back up the stairs, idly flicking through the letters in her hand. Her heart skipped a beat as she reached an envelope written in her sister's handwriting, only to be closely followed by renewed disappointment when she saw the date of the Canadian postmark; Lesli had written the letter long before her departure from the Wade ranch.
Nevertheless, she ripped open the envelope, hoping to find some hint of her sister's emotional state. The letter was as newsy as always, telling of a new bull Grant had acquired, how hot she was finding it this summer with the added weight of the baby to carry around, how she and Mindy, the Wade housekeeper, had prepared the nursery before Lesli became too big to help. As usual there was no mention of Nathan, as there hadn't been from the moment Brenna had made it clear she had no interest in knowing of Nathan's movements. The last year of complete silence about him had been very hard to bear, but she hadn't dared let herself think about him, let alone of the latest woman he was dating. She had no doubt that Lesli would break the silence if Nathan should announce his intention of getting married! She never had.
And now Nathan was here, upstairs in her flat. God, how it had pained her to turn and face him earlier today. But she had done it! She was proud of herself, of the way she had handled the meeting she had known would be inevitable on the birth of Lesli and Grant's baby. It had shook her that it had come two months earlier than she had expected, that was all.
She could do this, she could get through seeing Nathan, being with him again. She had better!
‘Anything?’ Nathan put his hand over the mouthpiece of the telephone as Brenna let herself in, obviously in the middle of a call.
She shook her head, frowning. ‘If that's Grant I want to talk to him before you ring off,’ she told him firmly.
‘I—–’ Nathan flashed her an irritated look as he was obviously questioned as to his attentiveness down the line. ‘Yes. Yes, I'm still here,’ he bit out tersely. ‘Of course I'll pass your message on,’ he assured the caller smoothly before putting down the receiver.
‘I told you—–'
‘It wasn't Grant,’ he drawled softly, challengingly.
Brenna's eyes narrowed. ‘Who?’ she demanded abruptly, slightly irked that he should have taken a call obviously meant for her.
‘Your friend Carolyn. Apparently you packed one of Nick's favourite T-shirts in with your things today.'
Colour flared in her cheeks at his contemptuous expression. ‘I was using it to sleep in,’ she defended hotly. ‘I forgot to leave it behind.'
Dark brows rose sceptically. ‘As I recall, you never used to bother with nightclothes,’ Nathan drawled.
Her mouth tightened as she recalled the time he had walked into her bedroom to invite her for an early morning swim, laughingly pulling back the bedclothes as she snuggled down in their depths as a refusal. For long timeless minutes he had stood looking down at her, and she had seen the beauty he found in her body reflected in his eyes before he snarled something about going on his own and slammed out of the room. After that she had always made sure her bedroom door was locked, not being prepared to change her sleeping habits on the off chance that he might invade her room again.
‘I still don't,’ she snapped. ‘But that could have proved a little awkward if Nick and I had met on the way to the bathroom!'
‘And you think the man's T-shirt was preferable?’ Nathan rasped angrily.
‘Carolyn doesn't wear nightclothes either!'
‘No, I can believe that,’ he dismissed impatiently. ‘I find it very difficult to believe she wrote a children's book!’ he added scathingly.
‘And just what do you really know about her?’ Brenna challenged. ‘Do you have any idea why she behaves the way that she does? What made her come on to you even in front of Nick?'
He sighed wearily, dropping down into an armchair, his left ankle resting on his right knee as he relaxed back against the brown material. ‘I'm sure you're going to tell me,’ he drawled uninterestedly.
‘God, you're so damned smug, sitting there behind your Wade name and your Wade wealth—–'
‘I thought we were talking about Carolyn Frank,’ he cut in flintily, his whole body tensed now.
‘We are,’ she confirmed tersely. ‘Carolyn lived in foster-homes from the time she was six days old until she reached sixteen and got a job—that's also how she became so adept at weaving children's stories, by telling them to all her little “brothers and sisters”,’ she bit out. ‘Even her name isn't her own, not really,’ she gave a pained frown. ‘There was a note pinned on her saying her mother's name was Carolyn and her father's name was Frank, and as they were both only fifteen they couldn't care for her properly. The young mother also begged for the baby not to be adopted, promised she would come back for her one day.'
‘But she never did,’ Nathan rasped flatly.
‘No,’ she said abruptly.
‘And ever since Carolyn has done everything she can to make people like her, as a salve to her mother's desertion,’ he guessed huskily. ‘I had no idea.'
‘How could you?’ Brenna couldn't forgive his contempt and condescension so easily, she had been at the receiving end of it herself for too long to do that. ‘You just looked at her and saw a flirtatious butterfly, you didn't stop to ask why she's like that—–'
‘For God's sake, Brenna,’ he snapped abruptly, ‘I only met the woman for a matter of minutes!'
‘Long enough to have passed judgment on her, obviously!'
‘I've said I was sorry,’ he sighed. ‘What more can I do?'
‘Stop standing up as judge and jury on me and the people I call friends,’ she said in exasperation.
‘You were my sister for nine years, Brenna, and I thought I was going to marry you for three months; I can't shut off my protectiveness towards you just because you order it!’ His voice rose angrily.
‘I never asked for it in the first place,’ she dismissed contemptuously.
‘That's like saying you didn't ask the sun to set,’ he sneered. ‘It was just as inevitable.'
‘I don't see why, you virtually ignored me until I was sixteen!'
‘I'm not going to even bother to answer that accusation, I think it speaks for itself,’ he drawled mockingly.
‘Isn't that just typical!’ she scorned. ‘I wasn't worth noticing until I started to look like a woman.'
‘Oh, for God's sake, Brenna,’ Nathan stood up forcibly. ‘Next you'll be coming out with that hackneyed male chauvinist pig line.’ He thrust his hands into the pockets of his trousers, pulling the material taut. ‘You were a damned little pest until you were sixteen, and it had nothing to do with being a woman. You arrived in Canada resenting everyone and everything connected with your mother's remarriage. Never mind that she was happy, you weren't, and you had no intention of being so in the near future either. Most young girls would have felt some excitement mixed in with their trepidation at moving to a new and vast country, of having two older brothers to suddenly grant their every wish—–'
‘Sitting me on top of a ten-foot horse wasn't my wish!’ Brenna still shuddered at the memory of her first experience on a horse's back. Grant had swung her up on top of the horse her second day in Canada, finding it incredible when she had protested she had never ridden before. He had finally taken pity on her and lifted her down, but it had taken months for her to get up on one again.
‘Grant was only trying to treat you like his baby sister,’ Nathan scowled. ‘How was he to know you had lived in a town all your life and hardly knew what a horse looked like, let alone ridden one!'
‘He could have asked! Besides, we might not have been told of your existence before we arrived there, but I would have thought your father would have told you about Lesli and me.'