Unrivalled

TWO WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS

“C’mon, bro—you gotta weigh in. We won’t leave until you do.”

Tommy glanced up from the copy of Rolling Stone he’d been reading and shot a bored glance at the two garage-band wannabes standing before him. Four and a half hours into his eight-hour shift and he’d yet to sell so much as a single guitar pick. Unfortunately, these two wouldn’t change that.

“Electric or acoustic?” they asked, voices overlapping.

Tommy lingered on a pic of Taylor Swift’s mile-long legs before flipping the page and devoting equal time to Beyoncé. “There’s no right or wrong,” he finally said.

“That’s what you always say.” The one in the beanie eyed him suspiciously.

“And yet, you keep asking.” Tommy frowned, wondering how long they’d persist before they moved on.

“Dude—you are like seriously the worst salesperson ever.” This came from the one wearing the Green Day Dookie T-shirt, who might’ve been named Ethan, but Tommy couldn’t be sure.

Tommy pushed the magazine aside. “How would you know? You’ve never once tried to buy anything.”

The two friends stood side by side, both of them rolling their eyes.

“Is commission the only thing you care about?”

“Are you really that big of a capitalist?”

Tommy shrugged. “When the rent’s due, everyone’s a capitalist.”

“You gotta have a preference,” Beanie Boy said, unwilling to let it go.

Tommy glanced between them, wondering how much longer he could put them off. They dropped in at least once a week, and though Tommy always acted like their incessant questions and attention-seeking antics annoyed him, most days they provided the only entertainment in an otherwise boring job.

But he was serious about the rent. Which meant he had no patience for bored little punks wasting his time, only to leave without buying so much as a single sheet of music.

The gig was commission based, and if he wasn’t actively selling, Tommy figured his time was better spent either thumbing through unsold copies of Rolling Stone and dreaming of the day he’d grace the cover, or scouring the web for gigs—minimum effort for minimum wage, seemed fair to him.

“Electric,” he finally said, surprised by the stunned silence that followed.

“Yes!” Dookie Boy pumped his fist as though Tommy’s opinion mattered.

It was unnerving the way they looked up to him. Especially when he wasn’t exactly living a life worth admiring.

“Why?” Beanie Boy demanded, clearly offended.

Tommy reached for the acoustic the kid was holding and strummed the opening riff of Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water.”

“Hear that?”

The kid nodded cautiously.

Tommy returned the guitar and reached for the electric twelve-string he’d been eyeing from the moment he started working at Farrington’s. The one he’d be a lot closer to owning if one of these punks ever decided to make themselves useful and actually buy something.

He played the same piece as the kids leaned toward him. “It’s louder, fuller, brighter. But that’s just me. Don’t go acting like it’s gospel or anything.”

“That was good, bro. You should think about joining our band.”

Tommy laughed, ran an appreciative hand over the neck of the guitar before returning it to its hook. “So, which one you gonna buy?” He glanced between them.

“All of ‘em!” Dookie Boy grinned. He reminded Tommy of himself at that age—a lethal mix of insecure and cocky.

“Yeah, as soon as he sells his MILF porn collection on eBay!” Beanie Boy laughed and ran for the door as his friend gave chase, shouting insults that weren’t nearly as good as the one he’d been served.

Tommy watched them exit, the small silver bell attached to the handle jangling behind them, relieved to finally have some time to himself.

Not that he disliked his customers—Farrington’s Vintage Guitar was known for attracting a pretty specific, music-obsessed crowd, but it wasn’t exactly the job he’d envisioned when he first arrived in LA. He had some serious skills, all of which were going to waste. If things didn’t pick up, he’d have no choice but to track those kids down and beg for an audition.

Aside from playing the guitar, he could also sing. Not that anyone gave a shit. His last attempt to book some steady solo gigs was a fail. The hundred or so flyers he’d plastered around town (prominently featuring a picture of him in faded low-slung jeans with his guitar strapped across his bare chest) gleaned only two hits. One from some pervert asking him to “audition” (the sick giggle that followed had Tommy seriously considering changing his number), and an actual gig at a local coffee shop that seemed promising, until his original stuff was quashed by the manager, who insisted he play nothing but acoustic covers of John Mayer’s biggest hits for a full three hours. At least he’d managed to make a fan of the fortysomething blond who’d passed him a crumpled napkin with her hotel and room number scribbled in red, winking as she sashayed (no other way to describe it) out the door, sure that he’d follow.

He didn’t.

Though he had to admit he’d been tempted. It’d been a bleak six months since he’d arrived in LA, and she was damn good-looking. Fit too, judging by the dress that hugged every curve. And though he appreciated her directness, and while her body probably really was a wonderland, he couldn’t deal with the thought of being no more than an interesting diversion for a woman who’d grown bored with men her own age.

More than anything, Tommy wanted to be taken seriously.

It was the reason he moved halfway across the country with the entirety of his worldly possessions (a dozen or so T-shirts, some broken-in jeans, a turntable that once belonged to his mom, his prized vinyl collection, a pile of paperbacks, and a secondhand six-string guitar) shoved in the trunk of his car.

Sure, he figured it might take some time to get settled, but the shortage of gigs was never part of the plan.

Neither was the job hawking guitars, but at least he could tell his mom he was working in the music industry.

He turned the page of his magazine, only to see a full-page article praising the Strypes (fuckin’ sixteen-year-olds poised to take over the world—making Tommy wonder if he’d peaked two years ago and missed it entirely).

When the door clanged open, Tommy was glad for the distraction, only to see some rich bastard who looked totally out of place among all the Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, and B. B. King posters slapped on the walls. His designer jeans and T-shirt alone probably cost more than Tommy made in a week. Never mind the suede blazer, flashy gold watch, and spendy-looking loafers—most likely handmade by craftsmen in Italy—that probably cost more than all of Tommy’s possessions combined, including his car.

Lifestyle tourist.

Los Feliz was full of ‘em. Rich, wannabe hipsters, ducking in and out of the area’s numerous cafés, galleries, and eccentric boutiques, hoping to glean a little street cred they could haul back to their Beverly Hills hood and impress all their friends with tales of their journey to the wild side.

Tommy frowned and flipped past the article. Reading about the Strypes was bringing him down.

Waiting for the customer to complete his obligatory walk around, maybe even ask for a card (they made great souvenirs—proved you really were there!), was also bringing him down.

But unlike the Strypes, this guy would eventually pass through Tommy’s life. Whereas every band in that magazine seemed to mock him, making him realize just how big a fail his move to LA had become.

Figuring he should exert a little effort and acknowledge the pretentious asshole invading his space, he started to speak when the words caught in his throat and he found himself ogling like the worst kind of groupie.

It was Ira.

Ira Redman.

The überconnected, big-shot owner of Unrivaled Nightlife, who also happened to be Tommy’s father.

Though the father bit was really more a technicality. Ira was more of a sperm donor than an actual dad.

For one thing, he had no idea Tommy existed.

Then again, up until Tommy’s eighteenth birthday, Tommy didn’t know about Ira either. He’d believed the story his mother told him about his war-hero dad who’d died before his time. It was only by chance he learned the truth. But once he did, his fate was sealed. Much to his mother’s (and grandparents’, and ex-girlfriend’s, and counselor’s) dismay, he took the money he’d saved for college, graduated early from high school, and headed straight for LA.

He’d had it all planned. First he’d find a great apartment (a shithole in Hollywood), then he’d score an awesome job (Farrington’s was severely lacking in awesome), and then, armed with all the details he’d gathered about his father courtesy of Google, Wikipedia, and an archived issue of Maxim, he’d track down Ira Redman and confront him like the independent, deserving young man that he was.

What he didn’t expect was how completely intimidated he felt just being in Ira’s vicinity.

Shortly after he’d first arrived in LA, he found and followed Ira, watching from the cracked windshield of the clunker that seemed cool in Tulsa and so offensive in LA that even the valet parkers sneered when they saw it. Tommy saw the dismissive yet entitled way Ira left his chauffeur-driven Escalade at the curb and strode into the restaurant like a man who consumed power rather than food. His grim, all-seeing gaze was cloaked in a calculated ruthlessness that immediately convinced Tommy he was out of his league.

The reunion fantasy that had fueled the drive from OK to CA instantly evaporated into the Los Angeles smog, as Tommy made his escape, vowing to make a name for himself before he tried that again.

And now, there he was. Ira Redman sucking down oxygen like he owned controlling shares in that too.

“Hey,” Tommy mumbled, hiding his hands under the counter so Ira wouldn’t see the way they shook in his presence, though the tremor in his voice surely gave him away. “What’s up?”

The question was simple enough, but Ira chose to turn it into a moment. An awkward moment. Or at least it was awkward for Tommy. Ira seemed content to just stand there, his gaze fixed like he was assessing Tommy’s right to exist.

Don’t flinch, don’t be the first to look away, don’t show weakness. Tommy was so focused on how not to react he nearly missed it when Ira pointed an entitled finger at the guitar just behind him.

Clearly Ira had decided to take a little time out from world conquering to indulge some latent rock star fantasy. Fine with Tommy, he needed the sell. But he’d be damned if Ira walked out with the beautiful twelve-string Tommy had mentally tagged as his own from the moment he’d strapped it across his chest and strummed the first chord.

He purposely reached for the guitar just above it, lifting it from its wall hooks, when Ira corrected him.

“No, the one right behind you. The metallic blue one.” He spoke as though it was an order. As though Tommy had no choice but to do Ira’s bidding, serve his every whim. It was unnerving. Degrading. And it made Tommy even more resentful of Ira than he already was.

“It’s not for sale.” Tommy tried to direct Ira to another, but he wasn’t having it.

His navy-blue eyes, the same shade as Tommy’s, narrowed in focus as his jaw hardened much like Tommy’s did when attempting a piece of music he’d been struggling to interpret. “Everything’s for sale.” Ira studied Tommy with an intensity that made Tommy squirm. “It’s just a matter of negotiating the price.”

“Maybe so, bro.” Bro? He called Ira Redman bro? Before he could linger on that for too long, Tommy was quick to add, “But that one’s mine, and it stays mine.”

Ira’s steely gaze fixed on Tommy’s. “That’s too bad. Still, mind if I have a look?”

Tommy hesitated, which seemed kind of dumb, since it wasn’t like Ira was gonna steal it. And yet it required every ounce of his will to hand the piece over and watch as Ira balanced it in his hands as though expecting the weight to reveal something important. When he strapped it over his chest and assumed some ridiculous, pseudo-guitar-god stance, laughing in this loud, inclusive way like they were both in on the joke, Tommy had to fight the urge to hurl right then and there.

The sight of Ira manhandling his dream had him sweating straight through his Jimmy Page T-shirt. And the way he dragged it out, pretending to do a thorough inspection when he clearly had no idea what to look for, made it clear Ira was putting on some kind of show.

But why?

Was that how bored rich people entertained themselves?

“It’s a beautiful piece.” He returned the instrument as Tommy, relieved to have it safely out of Ira’s possession, propped it back against the wall. “I can see why you’d want to own it. Though I’m not convinced you do.”

Tommy’s back stiffened.

“The way you handle it …” Ira placed both hands on the counter, his manicured fingers splayed, his gold watch gleaming like a cruel taunt, as if to say, This is the life you could’ve had—one of great privilege and wealth, where you’d get to harass wannabe rock gods and piss all over their dreams just for the fun of it. “You handle it with too much reverence for it to be yours. You’re not comfortable with it. It’s a part from you, rather than a part of you.”

Tommy pressed his lips together. Shifted his weight from foot to foot. He had no idea how to reply. Though he’d no doubt the whole thing was a test he had just failed.

“You handle that guitar like it’s a girl you can’t believe you get to fuck, rather than the girlfriend you’ve grown used to fucking.” Ira laughed, displaying a mouthful of capped teeth—shiny white soldiers standing in perfect formation. “So how ‘bout I double whatever it is you think you could pay for it?” His laughter died as quickly as it started.

Tommy shook his head and stared at his trashed motorcycle boots, which, in Ira’s presence, no longer seemed cool. The treads were shot. The shank was gashed. It was like his favorite boots had suddenly turned on him, reminding him of the enormous gap yawning between him and his dream. Still, it beat looking at Ira, who clearly considered Tommy a fool.

“Okay, triple then.”

Tommy refused to acknowledge the offer. Ira was insane. The whole scene was insane. He was rumored to be a relentless negotiator, but all this—over a guitar? From everything he’d read about him, the only music Ira cared about was the song that played during last call when he collected the money from his various clubs.

“You drive a tough bargain.” Ira laughed, but it wasn’t a real laugh. The tone was way off.

And it wasn’t like Tommy had to actually look at him to know that his eyes had gone squinty, his mouth wide, his chin lifted in that arrogant way that he had. He’d seen plenty of photos of Ira being the inauthentic, entitled bastard he was. He’d memorized them all.

“So what if I quadruple my offer, hand over my credit card, and you hand over the guitar? I’m assuming you work on commission? Hard to pass on an offer like that.”

Clearly Ira had pegged him for the rent-hungry wannabe he was, and yet Tommy still held his ground.

The guitar was his.

Or at least it would be just as soon as he collected a few more paychecks.

And while it was definitely a risky move to deny Ira Redman, Tommy watched as he finally gave up and exited the store as arrogantly as he’d entered.

Tommy clasped the guitar to his chest, hardly able to believe he’d almost lost it. If he could just make it through the next few months, he’d have enough saved to make it officially his. Sooner if he went on a hunger strike.

And that was how Ira found him—standing behind the smudgy glass counter, embracing his dream guitar like a lover.

“Farrington wants a word.” Ira pressed his phone on Tommy, who had no other choice but to take it.

Who knew Ira and Farrington were friends?

Or better yet, who didn’t know Ira had an in with the owner?

Fuckin’ Ira knew everyone.

The conversation might have been brief, but it was no less humiliating, with Farrington ordering Tommy to sell Ira the guitar at the original price. There might also have been a mention about Tommy losing his job, but Tommy was already returning the phone, reducing Farrington’s angry rant into a distant muffled squawk.

Fighting back tears too ridiculous to cry, Tommy forfeited the guitar. Hell, he hadn’t even cried the night he’d said good-bye to Amy, the girlfriend he’d been with for the last two years.

He could not, would not, cry for a guitar.

And he definitely wouldn’t cry over his father making him look like a fool, showing just how insignificant he was in the world.

Someday he’d show him, prove his worth, and make Ira regret the day he walked into Farrington’s.

He didn’t know how, but he would. He was more determined than ever.

With the guitar in Ira’s possession (paid for with his Amex Black card, which probably had a gazillion-dollar limit), Ira shot Tommy one last appraising look before pulling a folded piece of paper from his inside jacket pocket and sliding it across the counter. “Nice try, kid.” He made for the door, guitar strapped over his shoulder. “Maybe you could have bought it sooner if you worked for me.”

THREE REASONS TO BE BEAUTIFUL

Aster Amirpour closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and slipped beneath the water’s surface until the bubbles covered her head and the outside world disappeared. If she had to choose a happy place, this would be it. Cocooned within the warm embrace of her Jacuzzi, free of the burden of parental expectations, along with the weight of their disapproving gaze.

No wonder she’d favored mermaids over princesses as a kid.

It was only when her lungs squeezed in protest that she sprang to the surface. Blinking water from her eyes, she pushed her hair from her face, allowing it to fall in long, dark ribbons that flowed to her waist, and adjusted the straps of her Burberry bikini—the one that took a month to convince her mom to buy, and then another month to convince her to let her wear it, and then only within the walled-in confines of their yard.

“All I see is four tiny triangles and a handful of very flimsy strings!” Her mother had dangled the offending pieces by the tip of her index finger, looking as though she’d been scandalized by the sight of it.

Inwardly, Aster rolled her eyes. Wasn’t that the whole point of rocking a bikini—to display as much gorgeous young flesh as possible while you still had gorgeous young flesh to display?

God forbid she wore something that might be considered highly immodest within the confines of her Tehrangeles neighborhood.

“But it’s Burberry!” Aster had pleaded, trying to appeal to her mother’s own high-end shopping addiction. When it didn’t help, she went on to add, “What if I promise to only wear it at home?” She eyeballed her mother, trying to get a read, but her mom’s face remained as imperious as ever. “What if I promise to only wear it at home when I’m the only one there?”

Her mother had stood silently before her, weighing the merits of a promise Aster had no intention of keeping. The whole thing was ridiculous. Aster was eighteen years old! She should be able to buy her own stuff by now, but her parents liked to keep as tight a rein on her spending as they did on her comings and goings.

As far as getting a job and financing her own bikinis—Aster knew better than to broach that particular subject. Other than the rare exception of a random lawyer here, a famed pediatrician there, the females in Aster’s family tree didn’t work outside the home. They did what was expected—they married, raised a family, shopped, lunched, and chaired the occasional charity gala—all the while pretending to be fulfilled, but Aster wasn’t buying it.

What was the point of going to those impressive Ivy League schools if that expensive education would never be put to good use?

It was a question Aster had asked only once. The steely gaze she received in return warned her to never speak of it again.

While Aster loved her family with all her heart, while she would do anything for them—heck, she’d even die for them if it came to that—she absolutely, resolutely, would not live for them.