Morgan's Secret Son

“I can’t!” he grated. “Forgive me. I should never….”

He’d left the bed. Was picking up his shirt, sweater…shoes he’d somehow discarded.

“You can’t…go like this!” she gasped jerkily, raising herself on her elbows.

He stopped, his back to her. “I must!” he insisted.

“But…why? You wanted me!” she accused, deeply hurt, and unable to pacify her demanding body.

He remained silent, biting back an urge to tell her why he couldn’t make love to her. Pounding relentlessly into his head had come the realization that he couldn’t make love to the open and trusting Jodie under false pretenses. Either he had to tell her the whole truth of the situation or he had to leave her alone….

He’s a man of cool sophistication.

He’s got pride, power and wealth.

At the top of his corporate ladder, he’s a ruthless businessman, an expert lover— His life runs like a well-oiled machine….

Until now. Because suddenly he’s responsible for a BABY!

HIS BABY

A miniseries from Harlequin Presents®.

He’s sexy, he’s successful…and he’s facing up to fatherhood!

There’ll be another HIS BABY title out soon.

Morgan’s Secret Son

Sara Wood

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

EPILOGUE

CHAPTER ONE

JODIE looked around the immaculate apartment, gave a satisfied twitch to her hip-hugging skirt and went to unbolt the door.

‘Hi, Chas! Come in,’ she invited amiably.

A flurry of New York’s winter snow hurled itself past Chas’s muffled figure and settled on the newly polished wood floor.

‘You’ll have to clear that up before it stains,’ he directed, frowning at the innocent flakes. ‘Hurry up! Fetch the—’

‘No, Chas,’ she purred, very cat-got-the-cream. ‘I won’t!’

She had no intention of slaving away for him. She was waiting for his reaction to her outfit, and when it came it was highly satisfying. Startled by her refusal, he looked her up and down and then did the tour again, all the way from her high-heeled red thigh boots to her new and classy hair-style.

‘Wowee, babe! You’re a real knockout!’ he declared in surprise.

She smiled to herself, thinking of the blow she was about to deal him. ‘In more ways than one, Chas. Would you help me on with this?’ she asked sweetly.

‘Sure… Uh…are we going somewhere?’

He was more than puzzled by her assertive attitude, and his fingers hesitated on the warm amber-red jacket she’d handed to him.

‘Just me!’ she trilled.

Wonderfully in control, Jodie slipped her arms into the jacket then flung a heavy honey-gold cape around her shoulders, her once-nervy hands as steady as a rock. Then she dropped her bombshell.

‘I’m leaving. Permanently. Here are my keys. The apartment’s all yours. You go wipe the floor!’

He gaped. Jodie noticed for the first time that his teeth were rather uneven and his lips were thick and wet. She shuddered. Love really had been blind!

‘But…but you’re crazy about me!’ he protested. ‘And…I love you!’

‘No,’ she corrected, feeling contemptuous because he’d deliberately turned on his low, sexy voice. It was so gravelly it could have gritted Manhattan. But it did nothing for her. He was out of her system! She jammed her fabulous felt hat over her shiny chestnut bob and set the brim at a wicked angle. ‘You love yourself and you love the person you tried to create,’ she said, exulting in her coolness. ‘Ever since I came into your office as a junior you’ve done your best to make me into what you wanted: a cross between a domestic servant, a hard-nosed career woman and an insatiable tigress in bed. I’m fed up with being on anti-depressants because I don’t measure up, and I’m sick of trying to work out some PR promotion for you whilst scrubbing saucepans in a thong!’

‘You’re exaggerating!’ he gasped.

‘Perhaps, but you can’t deny that would have been your wildest dream come true!’ Her eyes flashed, green and sparkling, as she warmed to her theme. ‘No wonder I was a bag of nerves! No wonder this kitchen’s seen more charred remains than a fire fighter on overtime! Well, if you want Superwoman, go train someone else. I want out.’

‘You can’t!’ Chas said in desperation, as she picked up her new suede gloves purposefully.

‘Watch.’

‘But…we could have babies!’

She froze at his last-ditch, sneaky attempt to keep her, then swivelled around, her jade eyes glittering with such ferocity that Chas quailed. For the past six years she’d longed for marriage and children. Chas had refused.

‘Goodbye!’ she said coldly. ‘You can pick my car up from JFK airport!’

‘You’re not serious! Where’s your luggage?’ he scorned.

‘In the car already.’ Feeling free as a bird, she opened the door.

‘Wait a minute! Where—where are you going?’ he wailed.

‘England,’ she replied more softly, happiness lighting her face. ‘To be with my father.’

‘Whaaat? You’re mad! I know he wrote to you, but that was six months ago and you haven’t heard anything since! If he’s the sort of guy to abandon you and your mother when you were barely a year old, he’s hardly going to cheer when an emotional cripple lands on his doorstep!’ Chas bellowed nastily.

‘I’ll ignore that vicious remark,’ she said, utterly calm and collected. ‘I fully understand why he might have changed his mind about seeing me. Anyone can get cold feet over a situation like this. But I’ve realised that I have to meet up with him. He’s my only living relative and I have to try.’

Taking charge of her life was such fun! Why hadn’t she done it long ago? Seven years she’d worked for Chas! For six of those she’d been living with him! She gave the stunned Chas an amused glance.

‘You’ll find the thongs and the push-up bras in my top drawer,’ she murmured. ‘Enjoy.’

Elated, she swept out into the snow. She felt gorgeous, dressed in new and sensual—rather than uncomfortable and tacky—underwear. Over it she wore an outrageously expensive tangerine silk T-shirt, the slim-fitting amber suit with its shockingly brief skirt, a theatrical cape, hat and boots. She had become a new woman in every way—and she was setting out on an adventure.

Seemingly all legs and slim suede boots, she wriggled into the driving seat, gave a little wave to the open-mouthed Chas and giggled. Then she drove away, her thoughts returning to that moment when she’d opened the letter for the first time.

The sincerity of her father’s affection had burst upon her like a ray of sunshine and hope. Your loving father, Sam, he’d signed it, and the breath had caught in her throat when she’d read those words. Someone cared. Someone really loved and wanted her. The tears came to her eyes as she remembered and she had to hastily dash them away or end up flattened by a bus.

Her mother had died when she was small. Foster-parents had brought her up, and now she recognised that they had begun the curbing of her naturally happy, outgoing nature with their rigid rules and punishments. Love had never figured. Not true, unselfish, accepting love. But now things would be different.

Jodie beamed cheerfully at a cab driver who was trying to cut her up and she let him through with a friendly wave. She laughed out loud when the man hesitated, unable to believe what he was seeing. But she was on top of the world and in love with everyone—Chas excepted!—even cab drivers.

Soon, she thought dreamily, she’d be arriving at her father’s house in the south of England. He would have her letter announcing her arrival by now, and he could hardly refuse to see her when she’d come so far.

Just in case he did, there was Plan B. She’d booked into a nearby hotel, from where she planned to work on his heartstrings until he agreed to a meeting.

She felt sure he wouldn’t reject her. Something, someone, had dissuaded him from answering her many letters, she was sure. She understood only too well how other people could cloud one’s judgement.

It had taken her this long to realise that Chas’s advice—to forget her father—had been totally selfish. For years she’d relied on Chas, becoming increasingly dependent and subservient. But now she saw him for what he was: a bully and a control freak.

Her present confidence came from the fact that her father had been so eager for her to visit, and had even asked for her mother’s address. A pang went through her. The weeks of loneliness and bewilderment after her mother’s death had been so awful that she could recall them with crystal-clearness even now.

That was all over, though. Her eyes sparkled. This was the happiest she’d ever been in the whole of her life. No clouds on the horizon, no thongs, and a case stuffed to the brim with sizzling citrus and scarlet clothes!

‘Brace yourself, England,’ she cried with a laugh, seeing the sign for the airport. ‘Here I come!’

With Jack hooked expertly over his shoulder and his hands slippery with suds, Morgan finally succeeded in opening the door.

Why did people always call when he’d just got the baby in the bath? It was one of life’s irritating mysteries—and it was getting beyond a joke.

He grunted when the postman’s cheery, gossip-ready face hove into view. Village life in rural Sussex had its drawbacks. People expected to chat, to share information. And there were too many busybodies around trying to find out what the devil he was doing in Sam Frazer’s house.

The postman had taken a step back. Morgan realised he’d been scowling and modified the severity of his expression.

‘Morning,’ he muttered. It still sounded like a veiled threat, even to his ears. Must do better!

‘Recorded delivery,’ the postman said, warily handing over the package.

‘Thanks,’ he said, mustering a little more grace.

He signed for the letter with his free hand and gave it a cursory glance. For Sam. He dropped it onto the pile of unopened mail on the hall table which was waiting till Sam’s health improved, and made to shut the door. He had a million things to do.

‘Er…baby all right?’ enquired the postman meekly.

With a concealed sigh, Morgan mused that curiosity must be stronger than fear.

‘Fine.’

‘Must be five weeks old now. I love kids. Can I have a peep?’

It would have been churlish in the extreme to refuse, tempting though it was. Resigned to having Jack poked about by any number of strangers in the next few months, he pushed back the folds of the hooded towel which he’d wrapped around Jack’s wet body and his face softened as two tiny boot-black eyes stared back at him.

‘Like his father,’ observed the postman, making funny faces for Jack’s benefit.

‘Is he?’

How a snub-nosed scrap of humanity could look anything like an adult, he couldn’t imagine! Ironically everyone declared that Jack resembled Sam.

Guilt and resentment sucked relentlessly at his stomach. It was terrible being torn in two like this… He stared bleakly at the baby, despising himself for what he’d done, almost sick with anger and worry.

‘We were all sorry to hear Mr Frazer had been rushed into hospital again. How is he?’ persisted the postman with genuine sympathy.

‘Critical,’ Morgan jerked, all hell breaking loose in his heart.

‘That’s bad! He’s had some rotten luck since he moved in last summer.’ The postman patted his hand comfortingly. ‘It was a nice funeral you gave his missus,’ he said soothingly. ‘Lovely oration.’

Morgan winced and didn’t correct him. Teresa hadn’t been married to Sam—a fact which had virtually caused her death.

He supposed that the postman was trying to be kind, but Morgan did not want to be reminded too vividly of that terrible day when he’d stood in the driving rain watching Teresa’s coffin being lowered into the ground.

And then there’d been the expressions of sympathy to deal with. Teresa’s London friends knew his secret: that he’d had an affair with her, before she’d switched to Sam.

They had stared with open curiosity at his hollow eyes and shocked appearance, whispering salaciously behind their hands.

He had known what they were saying. He’d overheard a comment: ‘Did he never stop loving her? Is that why he’s so distraught?’

The knife twisted even more sharply in his guts. What a hypocrite he was, a sham, a fraud! God! reliving it all was unbearable. He had to get away.

‘Thanks,’ he croaked, and had to stop to clear his throat of the clogging emotion.

The postman took advantage. ‘Good on you for looking after their baby—not many men would do that. Close relative, are you?’

‘Not exactly. Excuse me,’ he said stiffly, before the relationship could be investigated—and endlessly dissected during some idle coffee morning. ‘His bath water’s getting cold.’

He shut the door with a sigh of relief and instinctively hugged Jack closer, as if that could protect him from anything bad anyone might say or do.

But danger had literally threatened. Perhaps it was just as well that Sam had been rejected by his daughter. She would have jeopardised Jack’s future. And that, Morgan thought darkly, was something he couldn’t bear.

The baby felt soft and warm against his chest and a lump came back into Morgan’s throat as emotion spilled in a flood of liquid heat through his body.

Teresa’s death had stunned him. It had been the last thing he’d expected. And now…

What had he got himself into? The deception was getting harder to maintain. Every time he visited Sam the secret of Jack’s birth burned inside him like a red-hot poker, souring his relationship with the man he admired and respected and loved more than any other.

Morgan groaned. Blurting out the truth would make him feel a hell of a lot better—but it would crucify Sam. Probably catapult him into a fatal decline.

‘I can’t do it!’ he rasped in despair.

But…he loathed deceit and despised people who were so feeble they had to tell lies.

His eyes darkened with pain as he tried to face the inevitable and make the ultimate sacrifice. The truth would have to be locked up inside him and never revealed while Sam lived, however much that went against his own wishes and desires. There were two people weaker than himself involved, and they had needs greater than his.

‘Jack… How small and defenceless you are… And yet you don’t know the trouble you’ve caused, little one,’ he said quietly to the baby, who gave him that black glass stare and rooted around with his mouth, blind instinct prompting him to search for his non-existent mother’s breast.

‘Poor little scrap,’ Morgan whispered, offering a knuckle in compensation. The small mouth clamped around it, digging in hard, and the black lashes fluttered in bliss. ‘No wonder Sam adores you,’ Morgan murmured, enchanted as always. ‘You’d make anyone’s heart soften. Let’s get to that bath and make you all clean for your…’

He couldn’t say it. Some things were impossible to deal with, and assigning fatherhood was one insurmountable hurdle he hadn’t yet come to terms with.

Morgan took the baby up to the nursery feeling like a heel. He was caught in a web of lies. Here he was, fooling Jack with a knuckle to suck instead of the real thing. And in the future he’d be deceiving the child every single day of his life.

But he didn’t want to! Stricken, he stopped in mid-stride, fighting the souring anger, desperately trying to suppress his own needs. All his paternal instincts—previously hidden even to himself—were clamouring for the truth to be known. His head told him that was impossible. Head versus heart. A soul-destroying battle. Which would prevail?

Anguish distorted his features. Emotion flooded unchecked within him, his customary tight self-control eroded by exhaustion and shock.

For a terrifying moment he felt an overwhelming need to throw back his head and let rip a primal yell of anger and frustration. Only the presence of the child stopped him. Slowly his heart rate became regular again as the anger became ruthlessly suppressed.

For Jack’s sake he gritted his teeth and continued the interrupted bath rituals, blocking out everything but the immediate needs of the tiny, dependent baby.

When he’d finished they settled in front of the log fire in the drawing room, and as Jack sucked enthusiastically on the bottle Morgan watched, his harrowed features relaxing into a deep awe. This was his compensation, the joy amid the grieving.

To him, the child was a miracle of perfection. Dark-haired, flawless skin, thick black lashes. Smiling, he touched the little hand with its long, slender fingers and minute fingernails. Jack’s hand curled around his finger in an impressive grip of possession. Morgan’s heart ached.

This was his son, and he wanted everyone to know it.

CHAPTER TWO

BLEAKLY he acknowledged the impossibility of that dream. ‘Sam will be proud of you,’ he promised with an effort.

The urgent hungry expression on Jack’s face was slowly vanishing and a soft, blissful look of repose had begun to replace it. The small features smoothed out, the impossibly arched mouth slackened with sleep.

Desperate for sleep himself, Morgan adjusted his arm so that the two of them could rest in comfort. Just a few minutes for a catnap, he promised himself vaguely. Unfortunately his teeming thoughts wouldn’t allow him to rest.

He hadn’t found a daily help yet, and the kitchen needed clearing up. After that, he had to sterilise a load of bottles, make up a new batch of feed, put the washing on and do some ironing. Some time today he had to ring the office to see if it still existed. Then he and Jack would wrap up and go to see Sam.

He groaned at the catalogue of things which needed doing. It was eleven-thirty and he hadn’t even shaved—let alone found time to grab a morning coffee! But when he wasn’t by Sam’s bed, doing essential chores or looking after the baby, he was pacing the floor night after night, and his energy levels were at rock bottom.

More to the point, his mind was consumed with guilt. He’d never done anything wrong in his life before and this secret was testing his self-respect and control to the limit.

He knew he was on a short fuse. Was it any wonder? Morgan’s black brows screwed together in a fierce frown. His big capable hands curled around the tiny baby who slept, oblivious to everything around him. Jack made Morgan feel both protective and envious.

His eyes grew hazy as he contemplated the future. For years he’d done whatever he’d wanted, gone where he’d pleased, lived as free as a bird. Now circumstances had clipped his wings and it was hard to adjust.

Once he had been free to fly to exotic sites and absorb their meaning, to discover that feverish excitement of seeing one of his designs take shape on his drawing board—and then grow in reality on the site, at one with its environment.

But in one brief moment with Teresa Frazer he had created and designed something which had turned his world upside down. For the rest of his life he’d never forget the moment when he’d turned up at the hospital and she had confessed that Jack was his son, not Sam’s. Jack had been conceived while they were still together—before Sam even knew of Teresa’s existence.

He winced, seeing again that once-beautiful face, hideously mangled by the car crash which had brought him hurrying to Sussex from his London flat. He hadn’t doubted her word for a second. She had been so desperate to tell the truth, and too aware that she was close to death to waste her time with lies.

Morgan thought of Sam’s breakdown when news of the crash had come through, how it had been he, Morgan, who’d been with Teresa for her last conscious moments before the emergency Caesarean.

It had been he who’d first held his baby, he who’d wept with unrestrained joy and amazement. He hadn’t shed tears since he was eleven, but the suddenness of fatherhood had overwhelmed him.

Emotion had filled his heart to bursting. He’d wanted this child. His child! And yet he had known even then that he’d have to surrender him for the sake of a slowly dying man. Jack must be registered as Sam’s son.

Such joy and sorrow mingling together as he had never known…

Morgan passed a shaky hand over his face. He owed everything to Sam. But this was the cruellest price to pay!

Racked with despair, he bent his weary head and gently kissed the downy forehead. The warmth of the fire and the accumulation of several sleepless nights began to blur his mind. His thoughts became less focused and finally he slept, briefly free from his troubles and the destructive, shameful deceit.

The closer Jodie came to the village where her father lived, the more breathless and excited she became. Discovering his existence had been the most wonderful thing that had happened to her. Her heartbeat quickened. She dearly wanted this to work. It must! All her hopes were resting on it.

Her eager eyes took in the scenery with its voluptuously smooth hills—incongruously called Downs, according to the map. Sheep grazed on the emerald grass of the tiny fields and swans were lazily decorating a meandering river.

And then she saw it: an old-fashioned signpost pointing the way down a country lane. She turned off the main road, her heart singing with unrestrained delight.

It was getting dark, even though it was only about four o’clock in the afternoon. In her headlights she could pick out quaint flintstone cottages strung out sporadically along the lane. Occasionally there would be a small Tudor cottage, with black and white timbers, a thatched roof and pretty garden.

As she passed each house she slowed the car to a crawl, so she could read the names, her mouth increasingly dry with nerves. At last, in the rapidly fading light, she spotted the one she was looking for: Great Luscombe Hall.

‘Be there!’ she begged in a heartfelt plea.

Nervously she headed down a long drive, her hands gripping the steering wheel in a mixture of panic and anticipation. Her forest dark eyes widened. There was a moat! Awed, she steered the car over the wooden bridge that spanned it. It had never occurred to her for a minute that her father might be wealthy!

Adjusting to this fact, Jodie brought the car to a halt in front of the house. Her heart was beating hard in her chest with anticipation. Great Luscombe Hall was a rambling, timbered manor house with a roof made from huge slabs of stone, and its façade had been constructed with enough oak beams to make a fleet of ships.

‘I can’t believe this!’ she whispered.

With trembling fingers she switched off the lights and the engine and leapt out, her body tensed in expectancy.

And then she heard a furious barking. She shrank back, terrified to see a Collie hurtling towards her.

‘Help!’ she croaked, freezing to the spot. Her terror-stricken gaze was pinned to the dog’s white fangs. ‘G-g-good, dog!’ she squeaked unconvincingly.

‘He’s friendly,’ snapped a hard male voice. ‘His tail’s wagging, can’t you see?’

Her father! Forgetting the animal, she looked hopefully towards the house, a warm, happy smile bursting forth and illuminating her eyes. It faded almost immediately. This couldn’t be him. He was too young. This was…who?