A Home For Christmas

Missy heart overflowed at this child’s pleasure. But her joy was intermingled with unshed tears. She shared a glance with Wade. From his trembling smile she guessed he struggled with the same emotions she did.

Their gaze remained locked. His smile fled and then returned with warmth and understanding, finding an answering smile in her heart. They might not have much in common. They had plans that didn’t involve the other. Certainly they were at odds about what his plans for the children were. But unmistakably they shared tender affection for these children.

Annie looked about the room as if searching for something else, saw her new doll on the kitchen table and trotted over to get it. “Mary, you have a sister now. This is Martha.” With one arm clutching each doll, she hugged them both to her neck.

Joey shifted to face Wade. “Are you leaving us here?”

Still on the floor, Wade sat back and crossed his legs with an ease that said he often sat this way. Missy could imagine him on the ground before a campfire, a tin cup of steaming coffee in his hand. The picture made her smile and, at the same time, filled her with an unfamiliar restlessness.

Her smile fled as she waited for Wade to explain his plans to the children.

He caught Annie and pulled her to his lap. “I’m not leaving for a little while. You both know I don’t want to ever leave you but...” He shrugged, then brightened. “But Missy is going to help take care of you while we’re here. How do you like that?”

Joey grinned. “I like that.”

Annie reached for Missy’s hand and pulled her closer. “Me, too.”

The children looked at each other, sharing a secret. Then Joey nodded. “I’ll ask.” He considered Wade a moment as if gathering up the nerve.

“What is it?” Wade prompted.

“Annie and I want to have our own Christmas. Not one with so many strangers.”

Wade turned to Missy. “What do you think?”

“Sounds good to me.” She turned to Joey. “Did you have something in mind?”

Joey wriggled with excitement. “Tomorrow is the day after Christmas. Boxing Day, Mama called it. She said it used to be when people gave their servants money and gifts back in England. We don’t have servants, but she said Grandma considered the animals her servants, so they would go to the barn and decorate it to celebrate Jesus being born in a manger. Can we do that tomorrow?”

Missy’s throat clogged. The children didn’t want gifts for themselves; they wanted only to make Christmas memorable.

She turned toward Wade, intending to tell him she’d help him decorate the barn if Eddie approved. But Wade looked as if he’d been stabbed through the heart.

He shifted Annie to Missy’s lap and strode from the room.

* * *

Wade stumbled out the back door into the clear evening. Trying to calm himself, he sucked in the cold air and commanded his thoughts to fall into order.

The door behind him opened, threw out a patch of golden lamplight before him, then closed softly. He felt Missy at his side but did not look her way nor acknowledge her.

Her hand touched his arm and rested there. “Wade, what’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothin’.”

“‘Nothin’’ doesn’t send a man rushing out into the night.”

She had a point. His thoughts untangled and dashed to his tongue. “It was my mother who began the tradition of decorating a manger for Christmas. Born and raised a proper English miss, she couldn’t dismiss Boxing Day as just another day. I remember how eagerly Susan and I looked forward to our trip to the barn the day after Christmas.”

“Susan was your sister? The children’s mother?”

He nodded. “My parents are gone. My sister is gone. My wife is gone.”

Missy’s fingers trembled on his arm. “You were married?”

“A long time ago. I tried to get her to decorate the manger with me but she didn’t see the value of doing so.” To Tomasina it was a silly, childish practice. After her death, he’d been glad to join Susan and her family in carrying on the tradition.

“It will be good for the children to continue their customary way of celebrating the day.”

Enough light came from the window for him to watch Missy’s hand run along his arm. Was she even aware she did it?

He shifted away, forcing her to drop her arm to her side. He didn’t need or want comfort. Not for himself. She could save it for the children. He lived the life he wanted and deserved.

“It’s getting cold.” He opened the door and held it for her to enter. When they stepped inside, Joey and Annie watched them with wide, fearful eyes. He understood life was uncertain for them at the moment, the future unknown. The best he could do was get them settled as soon as possible. Only then could they begin to adjust to the facts of their life.

They were young enough to adapt.

He knew he never would. He’d learned his past went with him, bleeding into his present and staining his future. One simply did not forget finding one’s wife dead of her own choice. At least Susan and her husband had died of natural causes. One could put that down to God’s timing. Then all one had to do was believe God had a good and perfect plan in mind. Though, truth be told, there were times Wade found it hard to see the good in things. But then wasn’t that what trust was—believing when he couldn’t see?

To reassure the children he pasted a smile on his face. “I’ll ask Eddie about decorating a manger.”

“What is it you want to ask Eddie?” The man in question entered the room.

Wade explained the Snyder tradition and Eddie wasted no time consenting. “It sounds great.”

Grady was at Eddie’s heels. “Can I go with you tomorrow?” the boy asked Wade.

“Of course you may.”

Grady grinned in pleasure and Eddie squeezed his shoulder, as happy as the child, then he turned to the others. “My wife has fallen asleep. I think Louise and Nate have, as well. That leaves us to fend for ourselves for something to eat.” He set out leftover ham and turkey and sliced a loaf of bread, while Wade put Annie’s things back in the valise and pushed their boxes and bags to one side of the room.

When the three adults and three children gathered around the table, Eddie asked the blessing. Annie placed her two dolls on either side of her and patted each.

Mealtime was quiet, the children tired out from the long day and the adults somewhat subdued, as well. As soon as they were satisfied and the dishes quickly disposed of, Eddie led Wade and the children upstairs. Missy apparently had a room on the main floor and called good-night as the others climbed the steps.

Annie paused on the steps, looking over her shoulder. “Where are you going to sleep?” she asked Missy. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”

“I have a room down here. I’ll be here when you get up tomorrow.”

Wade gathered his niece in his arms and carried her up the stairs. She was practically asleep on his shoulder by the time Eddie showed him a room for the children and an adjoining one for himself. He helped the children prepare for bed, then withdrew to the next room, hoping the children wouldn’t be upset by being separated from him.

* * *

He woke the next morning to two children bouncing on his bed.

“It’s morning,” Annie said with a bounce.

“You sure?” His voice was gravelly.

“We’re doing something special today. ’Member?”

He cracked one eye open. “Not before breakfast.”

“Aren’t you getting up?” Joey bounced twice just for good measure.

“Where’s Missy?” Annie added another bounce. “I want to wake her up.” She jumped toward the side of the bed.

Wade lifted his head and eyed her. “You will not go downstairs until I say so.” He cocked an ear and listened. “I don’t think anyone else is awake. And you shouldn’t be, either.” He let his head fall to the pillow, closed his eyes and wished for the forgetfulness of sleep.

“They’re awake, Uncle Wade. I heard baby Chloe and baby Jonathan crying when we came in here.” Joey seemed to think that was reason enough to make sure everyone in the house was up.

Wade had jerked awake a couple times in the night, hearing the babies cry. Once, he’d thought he was out in the range and coyotes were nearby. He’d reached for his rifle, but found only bedding. By that time his heart raced and he was wide-awake.

Now as he lay there his thoughts harkened back to the previous day. His agreement with the Gardiners meant he would be days late getting to Stuart’s place. Stuart would wonder when he didn’t show up, though he’d wait a few days before he gave it much mind. By then, Wade would be there.

There wasn’t much traffic to and from Fort Macleod this time of year, but a man and woman anxious to adopt two children would find a way of making arrangements. Until then Wade and Missy Porter would entertain the children.

He tried to decide what he thought of that young lady.

Very pretty for sure.

Alone. Just as he was. Except he at least had the children for the next few days. He pushed aside the sorrow of knowing he would soon have to say good-bye to them. Perhaps never see them again, depending on the wishes of the new parents.

Missy was opinionated, as well. She certainly knew what she wanted, which was to his advantage. He could offer her a paying job.

Doubts crowded his mind. Had he done the right thing in asking for her help?

But she was kind and she’d be good to the children. They needed tons of kindness and affection at the moment.

He rubbed his arm where she had touched him. Warmth trickled into his heart like water from a block of ice under a warm spring sun.

The children, realizing they must wait before going downstairs, curled up beside him.

“Tell us a story,” Annie begged.

“Yes, do,” Joey added, trying not to sound as eager as his younger sister.

“Me?”

“Like Mama used to.” Annie voice threatened tears.

“You’re all we got.” Joey had no idea how inadequate that made Wade feel.

“Okay, I’ll try. Once upon a time there was a cowboy.”

“Oh, I like that.” Annie’s eyes were wide with expectation. “A cowboy who loved a lady.”

“Hey, whose story is this?”

“You have to have a lady.” Annie nodded with absolute certainty.

“You’re sure?” He looked to Joey for backing on this idea, but his nephew nodded. The boy offered no escape at all.

“Okay.” Wade wasn’t going to be able to avoid it. “There was a cowboy who had a lady.”

“Loved a lady,” Annie corrected.

He sighed. “How do you know he loved her?”

“He knew it here.” She patted her chest.

“Is that what your mama said?” Susan had been such a romantic.

Annie shook her head. “I just know it. Right, Joey?”

Joey considered her question. “I don’t know.” At the fear and hope laced through his words, Wade’s throat tightened. Joey was awfully young to be afraid of love, though perhaps he had as much reason as Wade did. But Wade didn’t care to see such doubt in his nephew and decided he would tell a story about a cowboy who loved a lady.

“She was a beautiful lady,” he said.

Annie sighed. “Like Missy.”

Wade didn’t argue the point. How could he when he pictured Missy in the role? Not that he saw himself as the cowboy. Nope, that wasn’t a part he intended to take.

“This young lady liked to cook and sing and play the piano. She liked children and hoped she could have dozens of them.” He swallowed back a bitter taste in his mouth. How had his story gone from thinking of Missy to thinking of Tomasina?

“Did she?” Joey asked.

“What?” He’d gotten lost in his thoughts.

“Did she have lots of kids?”

“She did. Six little boys and six little girls.” Might as well make the story big and give it a happier ending than his own.

“And the cowboy played games with them?” Joey leaned over him, his face so close Wade could smell his little-boy scent. Joey’s eyes were intent. Wade realized play was very important to this child.

“He sure did. He played ball and chase and tag and taught all the children to ride and rope.”

Joey flopped to the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “I wish...”

Wade waited and when Joey didn’t finish he pulled him back to his chest so they stared into each other’s eyes again. “What do you wish?”

Joey looked at Wade’s chin. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Hey, it’s Christmas. What better time to wish for something?”

Joey’s eyes slowly came to Wade’s. “I wish we had a home and...”

“Our mama and papa.” Annie finished for him.

Joey flung himself from Wade’s arms and lay stiffly on the bed. “See? I knew it was impossible.”

“I’ll make sure you have a nice home.”

Both children sat up and looked at him. “Here? With you?”

“We’re all going to stay here until I sort things out.”

The pair looked at each other, their mouths in matching frowns. It was the best he could offer. Someday they would understand that.

“Miss Porter is going to help look after you.” He hoped they would see it as a fair exchange for him not being able to fulfill their dreams.

“I like Missy Porter,” Joey said, a goofy look on his face.

“You should address her as Miss Porter.”

The boy’s brow furrowed. “What’s the difference between Miss and Missy?”

“One letter. Y.”

“Because I was wondering.”

Wade grinned secretly at Joey’s literal understanding of why and y. It would be fun to watch the kids grow and learn. He clamped down on the thought. He wouldn’t be the one enjoying it.

Before the sadness could find lodging in his heart, he heard footsteps in the hall. The household was awake. Good. He could get up before the children delved any deeper into the mysteries of life. “Get dressed and then we’ll go to the kitchen.”

Both children hopped off the bed.

“Mind you be quiet in case the babies are asleep.”

Annie’s rushing footsteps stalled. “I wish we had a baby brother or sister.” A ragged breath rushed from her lungs, then she sighed dramatically. “Guess Mary and Martha will have to be my babies.” She trudged to the adjoining room as if she had lost something she valued.

Wade slipped into his shirt and trousers and began to follow, intending to comfort the child, but he made it as far as the doorway and saw she was dressed and singing to her dolls. He grinned. Drama should have been her middle name. “Are you two ready to go downstairs?”

They sprang to his side, as eager to go down as he was suddenly reluctant. He did not like uncertainty and at the moment everything about his life was a question. Would the Fort Macleod family continue with adoption plans? How long would it be before he could be on his way to Stuart’s ranch? And most uncertain of all...was he asking for a continual dose of disapproval by enlisting Missy’s help with the children?

He filled his lungs and squared his shoulders as they reached the bottom step. He was about to find out what he’d gotten himself into.

* * *

Missy had been up for some time. She’d made coffee, mixed up biscuits and put them to bake. She’d set the table, sliced bacon and put it to fry.

Linette had come downstairs several minutes ago, her eyes shadowed. “I think Jonathan has his days and nights mixed up,” she’d said. “I hope we didn’t keep you awake.”

“Not at all. I had a good sleep.” Apart from a few moments when Missy wondered what she’d gotten herself into by agreeing to care for the children, then insisting Wade be involved. Not that she regretted the first. Not in the least. In fact, her mind flooded with things she could do to make the time special and comforting for the children.

But with Wade at her side?

There was something about that man that put her nerves on edge. It was more than the fact she thought him too much like Gordie. Not that she thought him dishonest and living outside the law. No, that wasn’t what bothered her. It was his attitude toward the children. He seemed to be doing his best to be rid of them, and yet he was so obviously fond of them. It was such a strange contrast that she couldn’t decide what to think. But then what did it matter? He’d offered to pay her and she’d take his money, but more than that, she’d enjoy her time with the two children.

She’d fallen asleep with a smile on her face as she’d played over the scenes with them—opening gifts, going through their belongings, hugging each other, feeling little Annie’s arms about her neck...

Missy heard a footstep in the hall and turned, a smile filling her face. It was only Eddie. She told herself she wasn’t disappointed and returned to setting out preserves for the biscuits.

At the sound of more footsteps she looked up again, slowly this time. It was Louise and Nate with baby Chloe.

Louise looked as if she had gotten little sleep. “Chloe still won’t sleep without being rocked.”

“You two sit,” Missy told the two new mothers. “I’ll take care of breakfast.” She tended the bacon and broke a dozen eggs into a fry pan.

“Good morning.”

At Wade’s greeting she almost dropped the next egg. With one hand pressed to the thudding pulse in her neck, she spun about. His hair was slicked back and his eyes bright. Obviously he’d slept well. A child clung to each hand.

Annie held her dolls. Joey swung back and forth as if clutching a school yard swing, making Wade sway slightly.

Missy grinned. “Good morning.” Her gaze rested on each child, then came to Wade.

He grinned back as if realizing she found Joey’s play amusing. “These two are raring to go.”

Joey paused. “We’re going to the barn, aren’t we?”

“After breakfast and chores.” The resigned note in Wade’s voice gave Missy cause to think he might have had to explain it a few times already.

“Breakfast is about ready.” She returned to the stove and a few minutes later put the food on the table.

“I surely do appreciate your help,” Linette said.

“It’s my pleasure.” For some reason she wasn’t ready to explore, Missy liked helping in this house. She did it not out of obligation or duty but because she wanted to, and perhaps that made all the difference. Not to mention it was appreciated.

Grady, Joey and Annie chattered freely at the table and the adults gave them attention, just as her mama and papa had done with her.

Reliving her memories of her parents through these children was better than any Christmas present Missy could have wished for, and she knew a sense of joy and rightness she had not known since her parents had died.

The meal over, the men excused themselves.

Eddie stood at Linette’s side. “Is there anything you need before I tend to chores?”

She pressed her hand to her husband’s arm. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about us.” She glanced toward the cradle where little Jonathan slept peacefully.

“I’ll give you a hand.” Wade joined Eddie and Nate as they left the house.

Joey and Annie stared after their uncle. Annie’s lips trembled.

Missy sprang into action before they could start crying or worrying. “I need help with the dishes.”

Linette wanted to help, but Missy shooed her away. “Sit and rest while you can.”

She assigned each child a chore and turned putting food away into a game of “what’s next?” Laughter rang through the kitchen.

“You’re very good with the children,” Linette observed.

Missy chuckled. “It’s because I’m not much more than a child myself.”

Linette and Louise both snorted. Louise shook her head. “When was the last time you looked in a mirror?”

Missy grinned, purposely misunderstanding her. “Why, is my hair untidy?”

Louse chuckled. “You’d be beautiful whether your hair was tousled or tied back in a tight bun.”

“Thank you.” Missy hugged her sister-in-law.

Annie watched, her eyes studying Missy’s hair. “You have awfully pretty hair.” She yanked at her tangled locks. “Mine is ugly.”

Missy grabbed the child and hugged her. “Not so. The first time I saw you, I thought what a pretty little girl. With those big dark eyes and thick curls, you could never be anything but beautiful.” She eyed the child’s hair. It could do with a brushing and maybe some styling.

“As soon as the dishes are done, I will fix your hair so pretty you won’t recognize yourself.” She stuck her hands in the dishpan full of hot soapy water and a stack of plates.

Annie grabbed a drying towel and handed one to each of the boys. “Let’s hurry.”

The women chuckled at her eagerness, and in no time the kitchen was clean and the dishes done. Missy got her brush and sat behind Annie. Slowly, gently, she worked the tangles out of the curly hair. As she brushed she talked to the children about the stagecoach trip she and Louise had recently completed.

“Weren’t you scared?” Joey asked, when she told about the snowstorm they had been forced to travel through.

“Maybe a little, but the men seemed to know what they were doing. I was awfully glad to get to the next stopping house, though.” Equally glad when the storm ended and they could move on. The old man at the stopping house had done his best to get Missy interested in his advances. She stopped a shiver before it could race through her body.

She French braided Annie’s hair into a thick rope, then showed the girl a mirror. “What do you think?”

Annie stared into the glass a long time and when she lifted her face to Missy, tears filled her eyes. “Mama braided my hair like this,” she whispered.

Missy hugged the child. “I hope it’s okay that I did it, too.” Perhaps Annie preferred to remember her mama’s hands on her hair.

“I like it being like Mama did it.”

Joey had slipped away to the window overlooking the ranch, and Missy went to him.

He leaned on the ledge, peering at the scene down the hill. “I don’t see him.”

Missy knew he meant Wade. “He’s there someplace helping with the chores.”

Joey turned and fixed her with a demanding, yet sorrowful look. “What’s going to happen to us?”

Missy’s throat tightened. She’d agreed the children should enjoy some special days before they were faced with the truth, but oh, how she wished she could give them assurance that their future was secure, that they would stay with the one person they knew and loved.

But Wade had made his plans clear, as well as his reasons.

“What’s going to happen? We are going to enjoy a special Boxing Day celebration.”

Annie’s eyes grew wide. She covered her mouth with her hand.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Missy asked.

“We need a star.” The child’s voice trembled.

“What kind of star?”

“A paper star to take to the barn. We hang it over the manger.”

“Don’t you worry. We’ll find a star.”

Missy asked Linette for paper and scissors. She pointed her toward the cupboard. “There’s brown paper and everything you need in there.”

Missy led Joey and Annie to the cupboard, while Grady hung back at Linette’s side, looking down at his sleeping baby brother.

“Will this do?” Missy asked.

Annie and Joey nodded in unison.

She spread the paper on the table. “How big?”

“Big,” Annie said. “Real big so the wise men can see it.”

Missy sketched a five-pointed star on the one-foot-square piece of paper. “Is this good?”

The children nodded, their gazes riveted to the sheet.

She cut the star out.

“I’ll carry it,” Joey said, and Annie didn’t argue.

Joey returned to the window. “Uncle Wade won’t forget, will he?” Worry darkened his voice.

Missy glanced past him. “Look. He’s just leaving the barn.”

The children rushed for their coats, except for Grady, who held back. “Mama, they said I could go, too.”

Linette glanced at Missy, who nodded. “Wade said it was okay.”

“Very well, you may join them.”

There ensued a flurry of activity—struggling into coats and hurrying to do up the buttons, finding hats and scarves and boots. By the time Wade stepped inside, three children bundled up for winter waited at the door.