Captivated: Letting Go / Seize the Night

Colleen pulled away enough to look into his eyes. “I do like chocolate mousse. I like it a lot.”

“I know you do,” he told her.

“I’ve never ordered it here.”

“I just...guessed,” Jesse said.

Colleen’s eyes flashed bright for a moment before she shook her head and gave a small, embarrassed laugh. “I was such a bitch to you that day, Jesse. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He settled his hands on her hips, fingertips just brushing the swell of her butt. He wanted to slide them lower, but didn’t dare. Not when this was going so well.

She linked her hands behind his neck. The song had started a third time, and both of them moved in a small circle. With every step, her body rubbed his. It was going to get embarrassing in a few minutes, but he didn’t stop.

“Do you think I’m pretty, Jesse?”

He didn’t hesitate for a second. “I think you’re beautiful.”

She laughed.

It seemed impossible that he could pull her closer, but somehow he managed. “What? You don’t think so?”

“If enough people tell you that you’re beautiful, you can easily start to believe it, right?” Colleen’s mouth twisted wryly. “And yet it only takes one person to tell you that you’re ugly to make anything anyone else ever said feel like a lie.”

“Did he tell you that you were ugly?” The ex-husband, the asshole.

“No.” She shook her head. “He never had to say it out loud. He just made me feel that way.”

“He’s—”

“An asshole,” she cut in. “I know.”

It was the perfect time to kiss her, so he did. He could tell himself he meant it as a sweet gesture, only friendly, but the moment his mouth pressed hers, it was all he could do not to crush her against him. And when her lips parted, opening for him, and her tongue slid along his, Jesse broke the kiss with a small, mortifying groan.

Colleen shuddered. The brightness had gone out of her gray eyes, replaced by something hazier. Heavy-lidded. She slipped her tongue along her lower lip the way she’d done a few times already tonight, each time sexier than the last. She hadn’t moved away from him, and now his cock was definitely making itself known. She had to feel it against her. She had to.

The song ended and began again. She looked toward the bar. He didn’t want to let her go long enough to change the song, but as he started to, she turned to him.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Jesse paused, an unwelcome but also relieving space between their bodies, his hands still on her hips. “Where do you want to go?”

“I live two blocks away.” She let her hands slide down his arms to entwine his fingers with hers and squeezed them.

Everything inside him knotted and tangled. Jesse studied her, searching for signs that the whiskey had made her too drunk to be rational. It wouldn’t have been the first time a woman invited him back to her place. Drunk twentysomethings on a pub crawl, tipsy cougars out to prove to their friends they still had what it took, bachelorette party beauties trying to be memorable and make memories. Colleen wasn’t like any of them.

Maybe she was messing with him. Revenge for pissing her off? Playing a game?

She looked into his eyes. Shadows shifted there. Something dark, but definitely aware. She knew what she was doing and what she wanted, yet still he hesitated until she spoke again.

“Come home with me, Jesse.” If it had been a question, his common sense might’ve taken over and let him decline, but she hadn’t said it that way. No hesitation, no question.

A command.

* * *

They’d run the last half block, laughing and grabbing up snow to toss at each other. No plows had passed, which would make the morning an infinite pain in the ass for anyone trying to get in or out of any of the narrow, cobblestoned Fell’s Point streets. With the snow still coming down at an inch or so an hour, already more than the weather forecasters had predicted, they’d be lucky if they got shoveled out by Monday.

She was going to get lucky, Colleen thought as her key chattered in the lock because her numbed fingers couldn’t quite fit it on the first try. With Jesse on her heels, she shoved open the front door, which stuck as usual because it was hung a little crooked. The pair of them stumbled into her dark foyer, lit only by the streetlamp outside. She slammed the door behind him, hard, to make sure it closed all the way.

“Don’t worry,” he told her. “I’m not going to try to escape.”

Colleen hung her keys on the small hook beside the door and loosened her coat. Tossed it onto the newel post. She was so cold her teeth chattered worse than the key, and she’d lost feeling in her toes, but when she stepped up to pull him by the front of his shirt, all she felt was heat. “Kiss me.”

He did. Softly at first, but harder when her mouth opened. His hands dug into her hair, fingers scraping her scalp like the best sort of deep massage, and it was her turn to moan. With her fingers still twisted tight in the front of his coat, Colleen stepped back, back, back until she hit the wall next to the arched doorway to the living room.

His hands were all over her. His cock, deliciously hard through his jeans, pressed her in just the right spot as he shifted, and Colleen gasped. Jesse’s mouth moved from hers to nibble at her chin, and then yes, oh, God, yes, her throat. His teeth scraped her, sending arousal in red pulsing waves all through her.

“Touch me, Jesse.” The words slipped out of her. Too much. Too harsh? But instead of sneering or laughing at her, Jesse groaned. One hand moved between her legs, his knuckles rubbing her clit through the sleek fabric of her winter-weight leggings.

Somehow they were moving again, this time into the living room, where she fell back onto her plush sofa with him on top of her. He moved, crotch grinding against hers. His kisses were fire, burning her up. But he was a little big, a little too heavy. Overwhelming. Without thinking, she pushed and rolled, ending up straddling him with her thighs pressed to his.

Colleen, breathing hard, sat up, one hand pressed flat on his chest. The other went to his belt buckle. She wanted to get him naked and have her way with him. She wanted to climb up his body and get his mouth on her clit, to ride his face until she came.

Yet she faltered. Her fingers had worked open his belt but not the button or zipper, and she paused. Her heart pounded. The whiskey had warmed her, loosened her, but she was far from drunk.

What the hell was she doing?

In this dim light, it would’ve been impossible to see the color of his eyes, but she knew they were a bright, pale blue. A striking combination with his near-black hair. Jesse was a handsome guy. More than handsome. Gorgeous. She’d seen the way the women who went to The Fallen Angel flirted with him, and how he’d always been pleasant but professional. Yet here he was with her. Why?

His eyes had been closed, but now he opened them and sat up a little bit. “Colleen? Are you okay?”

She’d asked him here. No. She’d told him to come with her. She’d practically attacked him in the front entryway. And now she was on top of him, tearing off his clothes. Colleen swallowed against a suddenly bitter taste.

“I...I’m sorry,” she managed to say. “I’m not usually this...demanding.”

Jesse’s hands rubbed her thighs, moving up to settle on her hips and keep her in place when she tried to get off him. “Don’t be sorry.”

Controlling bitch, echoed Steve’s voice. She tried to push it away, but the memories rose up again. Bitter. Hateful. His mockery, disdain, contempt and, finally, derision. Always have to have it your way, huh? Can’t just take it like a woman should? Frigid, boring bitch. Maybe get a few drinks in you, maybe that’ll make you more fuckable.

Colleen shook her head, scattering her ex-husband’s taunts. She drew in a breath, looking down at Jesse. At least the dim lighting made this a little less embarrassing. Gave her a little extra courage. She got off him, anxious for a second when it seemed like he wouldn’t release her. She sat next to him on the couch, close but not quite touching.

Jesse turned toward her. “Hey. You okay? Look, we don’t have to...um... I don’t want you to think we have to. If you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” That was the truth, though she said it in a low voice, half hoping he wouldn’t hear. “It’s just that it’s been a while. And I’m not sure I can. Come, I mean. I’m not sure.”

Silence. She counted the beat of her heart. Five, then six thumps before he spoke.

“I’d like to help you, if I can.” Jesse cleared his throat lightly. “Shit, that sounded cheesy. I mean I’d like to... Shit, Colleen, I want you. Have for...well, long enough. I’d like to make love to you.”

That made her laugh, too loud. “You mean fuck.”

“I’d like to fuck you, yeah.” Jesse’s voice was closer to her ear than she’d expected. His breath, warm on her face. He didn’t touch her, though. “I’d like to make you come. I’d really like that.”

Her need had made her greedy, but when she kissed him, it was slower and softer than it had been. Less frantic. When he moved closer to put his arms around her, she let him. It went on that way for a while. The kissing deepened. His hands moved over her, gently at first, a little harder if she moaned or sighed. Their clothes came off, and being naked with him was less nerve-racking than she’d have imagined, if only because the room was still so dark.

When his hand moved between her legs, stroking, Colleen shivered and twitched. Her breath caught. When he pushed her back against the cushions, murmuring a question about condoms, she blinked.

“I don’t have anything.” How stupid had she been? Inviting him back here with no preparation.

“Hold on.” He pushed off her, but he was back in half a minute. “I have one in my wallet.”

Flashbacks to high school made her sit up. Without his heat, she was starting to get cold. “Is that a safe way to keep it?”

“I have a special wallet,” Jesse told her. He was silent for another second, then sounded half embarrassed. “It’s got a special pocket.”

“Oh.” At this she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. “You must use a lot of condoms.”

She heard the hesitation in his answer, but then he moved closer to brush his lips over hers as he replied, “I believe in always being prepared. That’s all.”

Then he was moving over her again. Hands, mouth, teeth. His fingers slipped between her legs, making her shiver and shake, but then moved away. She waited, tense, for him to push her legs apart. To enter her. She wasn’t going to come, not even close to it.

“Let go,” he whispered. “Let me make you feel good, Colleen.”

But she couldn’t, that was the trouble. Steve had been right, she was too controlling. Too uptight. A sobbing breath hitched out of her. This was going wrong. She wanted it to be over so Jesse would leave. She stroked his fully erect cock, concentrating, listening to the sound of his breathing get faster. She sheathed him and positioned herself, ready.

But instead of pushing inside her, Jesse shifted on the couch so he could be on his back. She’d bought this sofa, love at first sight, because of how wide it was. Plenty of room for him to stretch out, no cushions in the way. He tugged her along with him, urging her to straddle his thighs the way she had before. His cock jutted between them. His hands pressed her hips for a second, his thighs bunching beneath them. When she touched him, his cock jumped. Jesse moaned softly.

He put his arms over his head, his fingers linked.

Everything inside her blazed. Her breathe soughed out of her, hitching in her throat as she did her best but failed to hold back a moan of her own. The muscles in her belly tightened. Her pussy clenched.

Colleen let her fingers drift over his belly, feeling his muscles leap and twitch. She looked at his face, his closed eyes. His tightened lips. Jesse’s hips pushed upward.

Slowly, slowly, Colleen seated herself on his cock. Her thighs gripped his hips. She waited for him to move, to grab her or to start thrusting. To take control.

But Jesse didn’t. He acquiesced to her every move with his own soft sigh and the shudder of his body. He throbbed inside her.

She didn’t move.

Not for some long minutes as she concentrated on the feeling of him filling her. The beat and pulse of him inside her. He strained, shivering, but didn’t move more than with the subtle shift of his in-and-out breath.

His hands stayed locked over his head. And that, oh, that giving up, that giving in... Her hips rolled, finally, unable to stay still. She wanted—no, needed—to move on him. To feel his thickness sliding in and out of her.

“You feel so good,” he whispered.

More heat flooded her, rising up her throat to paint her face. She rocked on him, her clit rubbing his belly every time she moved. He would grab her now, she thought. Change up the rhythm to suit himself. And then it would be a rush to see if she could finish getting off before he did. But Jesse didn’t do that. His eyes opened, locking with hers. He thrust, but in time with her motions. His fingers unlinked.

“No,” she said suddenly. Harder than she meant to. “Keep them like that.”

She thought he’d protest, or sneer, or, worst of all, laugh, but instead his gaze went dreamy and heavy-lidded. His hands locked tight to each other again. And best of all, he groaned, his throat working with that sound of pleasure as he arched and moved beneath her.

“How good do I feel?” Her voice didn’t sound like her own.

“So good.”

She rode him harder, desire rising. Her fingers dug into his lean sides, and Jesse gasped. “Tell me how good.”

“So fucking good.” His voice broke, rough and rasping. “Fuck, Colleen. You feel like heaven.”

She slipped a hand between them to stroke her clit while she fucked him. Her pleasure spiraled higher and higher, everything coiling and twisting and tangling as she rocked on his erection. She was lost in the ecstasy, urged on by the look in his eyes and the grim press of his lips. The sweat on his forehead. He groaned again, and she almost came from the sound of his pleasure.

They moved together, faster, in perfect time. Her climax teased her, just out of reach. She wasn’t going to make it, and anxiety pierced her again, making her want to move more desperately—if only to get him off so she could pretend she had.

And then she looked again at his linked fingers. The bulge of his muscles in his arms and the tendons of his wrists showed his struggle to keep his hands together. And why? Because she’d told him to.

Then she was coming, no holding it back, and the rush and push of her orgasm stole her breath. She wept with it, though she didn’t want to. She dug her nails into him, and Jesse bucked beneath her. They finished together, and Colleen let herself fall forward to rest on his chest, her face buried against the side of his neck. They stayed that way, breathing hard, until his arms went around her, holding her close. And even though she hadn’t told him it was okay, Colleen discovered it was the perfect thing for him to do.

Chapter Five

“I’ve never eaten here.” Jesse pointed with his chin toward the front door of the Blue Moon Cafe, one of Fell’s Point’s most popular breakfast spots. “The lines are insane.”

Colleen, that glorious hair tucked under a ridiculous knit cap, grinned and kicked the snow off her boots against the concrete steps. “Tourist.”

“Hey!” he protested as he followed her into the tiny restaurant, furnished with an eclectic array of mismatched tables and chairs. “Unfair.”

She laughed at him over her shoulder and waved at the waitress behind the counter. “Hey, Sheila. Wasn’t sure you’d be open. But I had a craving for the French toast that just wouldn’t quit.”

“Mike made it in, so I did, too. But you might be the only customers.” Sheila waved at the empty tables. “Take your pick. Might be the only time you ever see it this empty.”

“There will be others,” Colleen said. “Bad weather doesn’t mean people won’t need to eat.”

The snow had fallen all night and halfway into the morning, tapering off but starting up again as they’d ventured out. They’d get another few inches, Jesse figured, not caring about being stranded because...damn. If you had to get snowed in, what better way to spend the weekend than with a sexy moon-haired goddess?

And she was a goddess, he thought, watching her surreptitiously as she looked over the menu. Last night had been incredible. Amazing. Thinking of it now, his dick tried to stir. There’d been a few moments when he’d been unsure that she really wanted him, or that she was enjoying it, but then wow. Something had triggered in her, and the way she’d taken charge had been incredible.

It had made him want to do anything to please her.

They both ordered the house specialty, Cap’n Crunch French toast, along with bacon and hash browns and coffee that Sheila brought in heavy-duty white mugs before going to the front door to look out at the snow.

“It’s just not stopping,” she said. “If I didn’t live close enough to walk, I’d never have made it in.”

“We’ll get out of here as soon as we finish,” Colleen told her. “Let you get home.”

Sheila laughed and looked at Jesse. “Take your time. Hey, aren’t you the bartender over at The Fallen Angel?”

“Yep.” Jesse lifted his mug.

“Think you’ll open later, when I want to get a drink? Kidding,” Sheila said at the look on his face. “Totally kidding!”

Colleen leaned close to him when Sheila went into the kitchen. “She wasn’t kidding.”

“I wasn’t scheduled to work this weekend anyway,” he told her. He wanted to kiss her. He would have, if he thought she wanted it, but despite last night, this morning Colleen had been a little distant. Friendly. Flirtier, sure, than she’d ever been on a Thursday night. But not the way she’d been the night before.

“Do you think you’ll try to get home?” She spun her mug around and around, not looking at him.

It wasn’t what he’d expected her to say. It sure as hell wasn’t what he wanted her to say. Before he could answer, Colleen spoke again.

“I don’t even know where you live. You probably can’t get home, huh? Certainly not if you have to drive. You should just...stay. With me.” She looked at him then, her gray eyes faintly shadowed. “I mean, if you want to.”

“If you want me to,” he started, but went quiet when Sheila brought out their food. He waited until she’d settled everything for them before he said in a low voice, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to invite me.”

“Where else would you go?”

“I could crash at the Angel,” Jesse said. “There’s a bunk in the back room.”

She stared at him for a heartbeat.

“I can’t just leave you stranded.” Colleen cut her French toast into precise squares and gave a nod, as though she’d made a decision and there was no changing her mind.

Not that he wanted to. But he didn’t want to be a pain in the ass, either. “Look, really, I can hole up in the Angel if I have to. I don’t want you to feel obligated just because we...because of last night.”

She frowned. “Do you feel obligated because of last night?”

It wasn’t the word he’d have chosen. Hopeful would’ve been a better choice. But he didn’t want her to think he was just another horny asshole taking advantage of the situation, though. So all he said was, “Of course not.”

Then the check came, along with Sheila’s unspoken urging for them to finish their food and get the hell out of there so she and Mike could get home. Jesse grabbed it before Colleen could, holding it out of the way when she protested. He laughed when she tried to grab it, but she didn’t.

“My treat,” he told her. “For keeping me warm.”

It came out wrong, he saw that at once when her frown deepened. She sat back in her chair. Her chin lifted.

They finished their meal in near silence after that. On the street, the snow was up to the bumpers of parked cars. The footprints they’d made on their way here had disappeared, not even a dimple in the white fluffy expanse to show anyone had been there at all.

“It’s so quiet.” Colleen’s breath blew out in front of her in frosty plumes, and she gave him a sideways look. “And beautiful.”

She was beautiful. And melancholy. The deadliest combination, as far as Jesse was concerned. It made him want to take care of her, which was going to be trouble, he knew it. He’d been burned before, such a sucker for the damsel in distress. He also knew it didn’t matter. He’d get burned again.

Back in her town house, one of the really nice refurbished ones, he admired the gas fireplace in the living room. He hadn’t noticed it the night before. Hell, he hadn’t noticed anything but her.

“It doesn’t work,” she told him. “I mean, it probably works, but I haven’t figured out how to do it.”

He looked it over. “It’s probably just the pilot light. I can start it for you. It might be nice to have a fire, huh?”

“Oh, I don’t need—”

But he was already kneeling in front of the glass to twist the knobs and check the pilot light and the valve for the gas supply, both of which had indeed been turned off. It only took a few seconds of fiddling to get them both working and then turn on the fireplace. He grinned over his shoulder at her.

“Nice.”

“It hasn’t worked since I moved in. Thanks,” Colleen said. “I didn’t really need—”

His phone rang then, and he made an apologetic gesture before pulling it from his pocket. “Hey, kiddo. What’s going on?”

“We’re snowed in,” Laila said. “Mom says it will be Monday before we can go anywhere. I’m bored! Can’t you come get me?”

“I’m snowed in, too.” Jesse sat back from the warmth of the fire, watching as Colleen bustled around turning on a ceiling fan and then rearranging the couch cushions they’d scattered last night. “Couldn’t get you if I tried. You’ll have fun with Mom. Don’t worry.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at a friend’s house.” Jesse gave Colleen a glance, but she wasn’t looking at him. “I’m okay.”

“Daaaaad!” Laila sighed, ever the drama queen.

“Sorry, kid. Blame Mother Nature. Put your mom on the phone.” He chatted with Diane for a minute or so, making sure they were both fine and laying out the child care arrangements for the next week. When he disconnected and set his phone on the coffee table, Colleen had just returned from the kitchen with a tray of mugs and a teapot.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Yep. Laila, that’s my daughter. She’s snowed in with her mom but was bored and wanted me to come get her. Her mom doesn’t have cable TV.” Jesse looked at the tray. “Coffee?”

“Cocoa. Is that okay?”

“Perfect.” He moved to the couch, hoping she’d join him, but Colleen sat in the armchair across from him.

“How long were you married?”

“Oh.” He paused. “We never got married. We had Laila when we were seventeen. We met at a party, got a little drunk. Did something stupid. We stayed together for a couple years and tried to make it work, but it was mostly over by the time we graduated from high school.”

Colleen coughed lightly. “Oh.”

“She lives with her mom most of the time, but we raise her together.” Jesse poured cocoa for each of them and added marshmallows from the small bowl on the tray. “She’s a great kid.”

“I’m sure she is. We never had children. My ex, Steve, wanted a son. But we never got pregnant.” She hesitated, then cleared her throat. “It’s a good thing, really. If I’d had a child with him, I’d never have been able to leave him.”

He wasn’t going to argue with her about that, though he knew plenty of people who hadn’t stayed together for the sake of the kids. “You’ve been divorced for...?”

“Officially, three years.” Colleen took her mug, warming her hands but not drinking. When she put the mug back on the tray and fixed him with a look, Jesse braced himself. He’d seen that sort of look before. “I just want you to know something. Last night... I’m not usually like that.”