‘Precisely.’ Feeling as though he were drowning, Alessio ran a hand over the back of his neck. ‘You’re her sister, not her mother.’
‘I’ve always looked after her.’ She gave a twisted smile. ‘Or, at least, that’s what I was trying to do. But it seems I haven’t been helping her as much as I thought.’
Alessio inhaled sharply. ‘Take no notice of anything I say. As you rightly point out, I know nothing about relationships. Relationships are always complicated, Lindsay—’ his tone was harsher than he’d intended ‘—that’s why I avoid them.’
‘Do you mind if we don’t talk about this anymore right now?’ Clearly hanging on to control by a thread, she turned away from him and walked over to the huge blanket. ‘It’s very dark.’
‘It’s the storm. It will pass, but probably not before nightfall. We’ll be spending the night here.’
He waited for her to have hysterics or make some sharp remark about him having engineered the situation, but she did neither. Instead she simply dropped to her knees onto the blanket and curled up with her back to him.
‘If you don’t mind, I think I might sleep. I haven’t had much sleep since Ruby went missing …’ Her voice tailed off and for a moment she hesitated. ‘But of course she isn’t actually missing, is she? She just doesn’t want me to know where she is.’
Lying there, trying to make herself as small as possible, she reminded him of a lost child.
‘You must be very angry with her.’
‘Angry?’ Her voice was thickened with tears. ‘How could I possibly be angry with her when it’s all my fault? You’re quite right. I’ve driven her away. My behaviour has driven her away.’
Nowhere near as forgiving, Alessio found his own anger towards Ruby flaring to life. She should have known how much her sister would worry. She should have picked up the bloody phone.
It was obvious that Lindsay, however misguided, had genuinely been acting for her sister’s benefit and, sensing the depth of her hurt, Alessio gritted his teeth, taking her pain as yet another example of why love was the utter pits. Why did anyone bother? Who wanted to put themselves through that? Much better to build a barrier around one’s emotions.
And that was what he’d done, of course.
From a very early age.
He sat down next to her. His eyes rested on the smooth skin of her bare shoulder and then followed the line of her red swimsuit. It dipped temptingly into her tiny waist and then rose again to accommodate the feminine swell of her hips. Instinctively he lifted a hand to trace that all too tempting curve, but there was something in the way she held herself that stopped him. Instead, he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, practising restraint for the first time in his life.
Reminding himself not to express his opinion of her sister ever again, he closed his eyes.
It was going to be a long night.
Lindsay lay in the depths of misery, drowning in self-blame.
This was all her fault. She could see that now.
If she’d been more approachable and less judgmental, Ruby would have felt able to confide in her—she would have called.
How could she have been so horribly wrong? She spent her working life helping couples see that there were always two points of view, and yet had she ever listened to what Ruby wanted? No, she hadn’t. She’d been so afraid that Ruby would choose the wrong path in life that every time her sister had opened her mouth, she’d lectured and dictated. Don’t do this—don’t do that.
And who was to say that Ruby’s choices would have been the wrong ones?
Alessio was right. The wrong path for one person was the right path for another.
Ridden with guilt, Lindsay squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She loved her sister so much. So much. And had she helped her? No.
She was a stupid idiot.
The thought of how badly she’d handled everything was like a physical pain.
She’d been so convinced that her approach was the right one. After what she’d seen as a child, she’d been determined not to follow the same route. And determined not to let her sister follow the same route. But she’d attached such a strong belief to her own strict code that it had prevented her from understanding how others felt. Since when had she become so pompous and set in her ways that she’d decided there was only one right way to do things?
Perhaps Ruby was, at this moment, having the time of her life with Dino Capelli.
Perhaps she wanted to share that happiness and excitement, and the reason she wasn’t calling Ruby was because she knew she wouldn’t approve.
Would Ruby ever turn to her again?
Tears slid down her face and this time she didn’t bother trying to stop them because it was dark and Alessio was asleep.
Convinced that she was alone with her misery, she gave a start of shock as a strong male hand curved over her shoulder.
‘Stop crying.’
Appalled that he knew she was crying, Lindsay froze. ‘I’m not crying.’
He muttered something in Italian. ‘I tell you now,’ he said roughly, ‘I have absolutely no experience in comforting women. It isn’t something I excel at. Ask anyone.’ He hesitated. ‘Normally I’m the one making them cry.’
Lindsey gave a choked laugh. ‘I can believe that. But for once you’re not to blame. Everything you said is right. I might even get round to thanking you at some point. And you don’t need to worry—I don’t want comfort.’ She sniffed and scrubbed a hand over her face, relieved that it was dark. ‘Anyway, I thought you had to be the best at everything.’
‘Only the things that interest me. Strangely enough I have no ambitions to excel at drying women’s tears,’ he drawled softly, ‘but on this one occasion, given that I’m the cause of your upset, I’m prepared to make an exception.’
Realising just how great a sacrifice that was on his part, she almost managed to smile. This must be almost as bad for him as it was for her. ‘You’re not the cause. Go to sleep, Alessio.’
But his strong, warm hand didn’t move from her shoulder. ‘This rug is the only dry thing in the place and I’d like to keep it that way. Stop feeling guilty about your sister.’
‘Why?’ She mumbled the words, wondering why she was discussing it with him. Alessio Capelli wasn’t anyone’s idea of a perfect confidant. ‘It’s all my fault.’
‘It isn’t your fault. I keep telling you, Ruby is responsible for what she does.’
‘I’ve stopped her talking to me.’
‘And what if she had talked to you? You would have been given a running commentary on all her wild behaviour and it would have driven you crazy with stress. You wouldn’t have said anything, but you still would have felt it. You’re much better off not knowing.’ His tone rang with exasperation and she almost laughed.
‘You make it sound so easy.’
‘It is easy. It’s time to toughen up, Lindsay,’ he said gruffly. ‘How have you managed to get through the past two decades when you worry so much about everything?’
‘I don’t really worry—’
‘You’re avoiding life because you’re afraid of it.’
Lindsay stilled. ‘That isn’t true.’
‘You’re worried that your sister will be hurt and maybe she will—’ his voice was low and male in the darkness ‘—but maybe she will have an affair that she will remember for ever. Memories of real passion that will last long after the hurt has faded. What will you have, Lindsay? The memory of dangerously exciting moments that you successfully resisted?’
He was right, she realised painfully. She was afraid. Afraid of falling into the same trap as the couples she counselled, afraid of being drawn into the wrong decision, afraid of being like her mother….
She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. ‘You live dangerously all the time. So how do you manage never to be hurt?’
‘I don’t let people get close.’
‘But what sort of life is that?’
There was a moment of silence and then he gave a hollow laugh. ‘I’m not the one lying on the rug crying, Lindsay.’
‘Caring for people and having people care about you is the only really important thing in life.’ It was just because it was dark, she told herself, that it was easy to talk to him.
‘And is it worth caring even when you get hurt?’
‘Even then. It’s what makes us human.’
‘Ah—but you told me only a few days ago that I’m not human, so that explains why we think differently.’
She could hear the trace of humour in his voice. ‘I thought life was straightforward. But everything suddenly seems so complicated.’
‘Relationships always are. That’s why I avoid them.’
‘But you can’t just go through life avoiding relationships. Relationships—love—well, that’s what makes life bearable, isn’t it?’
‘Relationships—maybe. Love? Definitely not. In fact I’d go as far as to say that love is probably one of the things that often makes life unbearable. Believe me, I see it all the time.’
‘But the people you see aren’t in love anymore. Perhaps they never were.’
‘There are other types of relationships.’
‘I know. And that’s where I’ve let Ruby down,’ Lindsay admitted, relieved that it was dark so that he couldn’t see her face. Somehow the dark made it easier to talk. ‘We’re very different like that. I was always worried that she would confuse chemistry with love and I’ve seen so many relationships fall apart because all the couple shared was chemistry. I’ve never contemplated being in a relationship that was just about sex.’
It was a moment before he answered and when he finally spoke his voice was soft in the darkness.
‘Haven’t you?’
A shiver of awareness ripped through her whole body and she didn’t pretend to misunderstand him.
‘Well—maybe I have. Once.’ Her heart was thumping and bumping against her chest, as if it were trying to escape while there was still a chance.
His fingers tightened on her shoulder. ‘You have willpower that most people would envy.’
‘If you’re talking about us, then we would have been a nightmare together, you know we would.’
He gave a low laugh and rolled her gently onto her back. ‘It would have been explosive, tesoro. And you know it. Which is why you’ve been holding back. What’s wrong with sexual attraction, Lindsay?’
‘Nothing, as long as both parties recognise it for what it is. Ruby doesn’t.’
This was the time that she should push him away. This was the time she should tell him that, although she’d realised she’d handled Ruby all wrong, she didn’t want to change the way she lived herself. She wasn’t about to hurl herself from a place of safety into the dangerous unknown of raw sexual excitement.
She should tell him that. She should tell him that right now.
But she couldn’t manage to form the words. Instead her hand slid over his shoulder, feeling the hard curve of male muscle under her seeking fingers.
This level of chemistry wasn’t something she’d ever experienced before—and probably never would again.
If she let it pass, would she regret it?
Would she look back in her old age and think, If only?
Or would she smile and tell her grandchildren that passion wasn’t always dangerous, as long as you recognised it for what it was?
There would be no ‘happy ever after’ with Alessio Capelli, but she knew that, didn’t she? It wasn’t a mistake. It was a choice.
‘Lindsay—’ The husky, questioning note in his voice made her realise that her hand had curved around his neck.
She sensed that he was holding back—that this was all up to her—but she had no more time to agonise over her decision because her hands were drawing his head towards hers.
Apparently it was all the encouragement he needed because he instantly took control, his hands not quite steady as he rolled her onto her back and covered her body with his.
It seemed that her senses still remembered how he’d kissed her on the beach, and a pool of heat coiled itself in her pelvis and she waited in an agony of anticipation for the slow, skilled assault of his mouth.
Only this time he didn’t give her slow.
This time he brought his mouth down on hers with a driven sense of purpose that propelled her from a state of simmering anticipation to explosive excitement. Hot with longing, she felt him cup her face with lean, strong hands and then part her lips with his tongue. He took her mouth with devastating expertise, his demanding and intimate exploration creating erotic curls of heat low in her pelvis.
It was like being drugged and her last coherent thought was, How did he learn to kiss like this? Before she slid down and down into a sensual world that was beyond her control.
Her senses connected like an electric circuit, sending sparks to every part of her and she was lost, totally lost.
She pressed herself against his hard, powerful body, felt the roughness of his thigh graze against the softness of hers, felt the scrape of stubble against her cheek as he dragged his mouth from hers only to bury it in her neck.
‘Alessio—I can’t wait—don’t wait—’ She writhed, lost in the sensation he was creating. ‘Please—’ But her plea turned to a moan as she felt his mouth fasten over the pink, throbbing tip of her breast. Up until that moment she hadn’t even realised that he’d removed her costume and suddenly she was aware that she was naked. But the feeling that engulfed her wasn’t embarrassment, but desperation.
It seemed that the more he touched her, the more she wanted, and when she felt his hand reach down between her thighs she gave a low moan of encouragement that changed to a gasp as she felt the skilled slide of his fingers.
She felt wild, desperate and totally unlike herself, writhing against him as she tried to relieve the unbearable ache in her pelvis.
‘You feel so good, tesoro,’ Alessio groaned and then gently moved his hand, cupped her bottom and positioned her to his satisfaction.
For a breathless moment she felt the hot, silken tip of his erection against her, and then he brought his mouth down on hers again and entered her with a series of controlled thrusts that drove the breath from her body. He was big, so big that for a moment she tensed, and he must have sensed her sudden apprehension because he paused for a moment and lifted his mouth from hers just enough to speak.
‘I’m hurting you?’
‘No, I—no—’
‘Then relax, tesoro,’ he instructed huskily, ‘and let your body do what it is desperate to do.’ But he lowered his mouth to hers again and kissed her until the explicit movement of his tongue in her mouth made her rake her fingers over the smooth muscle of his shoulders.
She whimpered deep in her throat and he lifted her hips and sank himself deep inside her, his eyes half-open as he watched her abandoned response. And then he withdrew slightly and did it again, creating waves of pure pulsing pleasure that consumed her entire body.
Completely out of control, she clung to him, her cries smothered by his mouth, her body hovering on the edge of ecstasy as he drove her higher and higher. And then finally, when she thought she couldn’t possibly go on any longer, her body exploded around him and the rhythmic pulse of her moist flesh drove him to his own completion.
Alessio held her firmly as he surged into her over and over again and his rhythmic thrusts prolonged her own sensual ecstasy until the whole experience became one long shower of intolerable excitement.
He woke to sunshine and silence and even before he turned his head to glance around the room, he knew he was alone.
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