Where The Heart Is

It wasn’t fair that Peggy had had it either. ‘Leukaemia isn’t fair,’ Rowena said softly. ‘But Shanna’s young. There’s a good chance she’ll be fine.’ Unlike Peggy.

‘I’ve read up on it,’ Carly said. Her eyes were bleak. ‘If she’s one of the unlucky ones…’

‘Hey. Don’t think that way. And you’re here, aren’t you? The money you’re raising is going to help find a cure. You’re doing something positive about it.’

‘Yeah. And I shouldn’t be moaning. I came here to…well, to get away from it for a while, as well as to raise money for the cause.’

Me, too, Rowena thought. Though it wasn’t quite working. Even though the scenery around them was stupendous—they were walking alongside the Lago del Toro, under the shadows of the peaks of the Torres Massif—the pain wasn’t going away. The emptiness. The need she’d sworn she’d never let herself feel again.

‘Morning. How’s it going?’ a soft voice asked, and Rowena nearly stumbled. Damn. Why couldn’t she have some kind of early warning radar where Luke MacKenzie was concerned?

Carly blushed. ‘We’re fine—aren’t we, Rowena? This is an amazing place. Oh, by the way, I’m Carly.’

‘Luke MacKenzie, trek medical officer.’ He took her outstretched hand, shook it and smiled at her.

She gaped. ‘You don’t look like a doctor.’

He grinned. ‘A white coat wouldn’t stay pristine for long out here. Besides, it wouldn’t be warm enough.’

‘Mmm, I didn’t think it’d be this chilly.’

‘Chilly in Chile.’ He smiled at her. ‘Did you sleep well?’

‘Not bad. Though doubtless tonight, after our first proper day of hiking, I’ll be out like a light,’ she said wryly.

‘And you, Rowena?’

Rowena had hoped that he’d keep talking to Carly, that she’d be able to slide away very gently and walk on her own, leave them to chat together. But it was as if Luke had guessed her intention and wanted to stop her. ‘Fine,’ she muttered. Actually, she hadn’t slept well. And when she had slept, she’d dreamed. Dreamed really X-rated stuff, involving a certain dark-eyed man, which had made her unable to meet his eyes that morning at breakfast.

He was probably used to women throwing themselves at him. Well, she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself and add her name to the list. Definitely not.

‘What’s that animal over there?’ Carly asked, pointing at a shaggy, light brown animal.

To Rowena’s relief, Luke switched into guide mode. ‘It’s a Patagonian guanaco—you’ll see a lot of them in the national park. They’re a sort of wild relative of the Andean llama,’ he explained. He told them more about the trees, too, the lenga and coigue.

‘And the park’s name—does it mean “towers of pain” because the trek can be tough?’ Carly asked.

He chuckled. ‘Not exactly. “Paine” is a Tehuelche Indian word for “blue” —that’s the colour of the water and the colour of the ice. You’ll also see the Cuernos del Paine, when we get to Lake Pehoé—they’re granite towers, called “the horns” because of their shape.’ He grinned. ‘Though there’s a great legend about how they were formed. They were made by an evil serpent called Cai Cai, who caused a flood which killed the warrior tribe in the region. The snake turned their bodies into stone and then created the horns.’

‘I see.’ Carly nodded.

‘You’ll see a lot, over the next few days,’ Luke told her. ‘In the forests around here, it’s a birdwatcher’s paradise—catitas, woodpeckers, long-tailed meadowlarks and the great horned owl. Plus you’ll see condors, glaciers…and I think you’ll like Lake Pehoé.’

‘Just don’t go swimming in it?’ Carly guessed.

He grinned, and Rowena had a vision of Luke swimming in the lake in the Andean summer. He’d be confident in the glacial waters, disappearing under the surface and emerging like a seal, his hair slicked back and shining wetly in the sun. And then…

‘Rowena?’

‘Uh, sorry. I thought I saw a condor,’ she lied. She just hoped that Luke hadn’t been able to read her thoughts. But when she glanced at him, she had the nasty feeling that he knew exactly what she’d been thinking.

And that he’d been thinking along the same lines.

Wet, bare skin.

This was crazy. She didn’t do relationships. Not long term, not short term. Nothing. Nada, as he would say. So why did she have the hots for a man she barely knew, a man she’d never see again after the trek was over?

To her relief, he let them walk on and moved to the group following them, chatting lightly to them. Then she realised what he was doing. Assessing the walkers, checking if anyone was having difficulty, who might need more help, who was a potential medical case. Exactly what she would have done, in his position. Putting his job first.

She liked that. She liked it a lot. And that made it even harder to stay away from him. Though she knew she ought to, for her peace of mind.

After a lunch of empanadas—a minced beef pastry which also contained tomato, raisins and hard-boiled egg—they set off on the final leg to the camp. The path was much steeper, climbing upwards, and Rowena was glad she’d taken the time to do a few stretches after lunch—her calves were definitely feeling the strain.

But it was worth it when they reached Lake Pehoé. ‘Wow,’ she said softly. The water was turquoise and shimmered under the cool winter sky. She’d seen pictures of it in the guide book she’d bought when she’d signed up for the trek, but she hadn’t been prepared for it to be this beautiful.

‘Want me to take a photograph of you together?’ Luke asked.

He’d done it again. Crept up on her and taken her by surprise.

Though she noticed that Carly wasn’t complaining. Carly smiled and handed him her camera, then made Rowena pose with her in front of the lake, with the Cuernos del Paine rising up behind them. ‘You’re right, it’s fabulous,’ she said. ‘It reminds me of the Mediterranean, that incredible turquoise blue.’

Why couldn’t she talk that easily to him? Why did it feel as if her mouth had been stuffed with sand? But if she didn’t do something, Carly would notice. She might even comment. Or, worse, realise what had made Rowena so tongue-tied. So Rowena handed her camera to Luke, muttered instructions on how to use it and smiled her thanks when he returned it to her.

Dinner was another meal of hot soup followed by stew and cornbread. Rowena passed on the offer of pisco sours—the traditional Chilean spirit mixed with egg white, lemon juice and sugar—and stuck to a single glass of Merlot, not wanting to risk a hangover when they had a hard day’s walking ahead. Carly turned in early, and Rowena almost wished she’d chosen a bed in the refugio too—though when she left the bar for her tent, she was glad she hadn’t.

Despite the hardness of her bed and the coolness of the night air, it was worth sleeping in a tent. Tonight there were no clouds and no wind, and the night sky took her breath away. The stars were bright—much brighter than they ever were in Manchester, with all the city’s light pollution—and the sky looked like indigo velvet. It made her want to reach out and touch it…And then she heard a scream.

Human, or a bird?

Then she heard another scream, and this time it was unmistakable. ‘Help!’

She grabbed her torch and headed towards the sound.

She was the second person on the scene, behind Luke by about ten seconds.

‘It’s Stephen,’ the young woman by the edge of the lake sobbed.

One of the group who’d been drinking pisco sours, Rowena noticed.

‘He fell in. We were messing about. I didn’t know we were this close to the edge. He can swim, but…’

But he’d been drinking—and the water was very, very cold. Either factor would impair his ability to swim. Putting both into play meant he was likely to drown.

‘I thought he was messing about—you know, pretending he was in trouble.’ The young woman gulped. ‘But then I realised he really was in trouble.’

‘How long’s he been in?’ Luke asked.

‘A few minutes.’ She shook her head, clearly panicking, and when you were scared, Rowena knew, it was hard to judge how quickly time passed. ‘I don’t know.’

In waters that cold, with a low air temperature as well, just a couple of minutes could give Stephen hypothermia.

Luke’s mouth was set in a thin line. ‘I’ll give you the lecture later. Just stand back—I don’t want anyone else falling in. I’ll get him.’ He stripped off his jacket and then plunged into the lake.

Rowena put her arm round the young woman and guided her back from the edge. The rest of the group was silent. ‘You’re Melissa, aren’t you?’

‘Yes. I…We didn’t mean it. I didn’t know those drinks were so strong. They tasted…Well, it was a laugh. He just lost his footing.’

‘He can swim,’ one of the others put in.

‘Yes, but this is glacial water. It comes from an ice field,’ Rowena pointed out. ‘Look, can one of you run back to the refugio and get some blankets and towels? We need them now.’

‘I’ll go,’ one of them said, and immediately raced towards the refugio.

‘Why do you need blankets?’ another asked.

‘The air temperature is cold—his body’s not going to be able to cope with the shock of it on top of the cold water,’ Rowena said.

‘He’s not going to die, is he?’ Melissa wailed.

‘It’s likely that he’s going to have at least a mild case of hypothermia—’ the risk increased with every minute he was in the water ‘—so he’s in for a rough night.’

‘Hypothermia? Isn’t that what you get when you’re old, or if you’ve been on a mountain all night?’

‘It means your body’s core temperature is a couple of degrees lower than normal,’ Rowena explained. ‘It happens more quickly in cold water. As your body cools, your brain and nerves work more slowly and your muscles start to cramp. That means Stephen’s not going to be able to swim properly, and his heart might not beat properly either.’

‘So he’s going to be really ill?’

‘It depends on how fit he is and how cold the water is. And drinking alcohol increases the risk of developing hypothermia,’ Rowena added.

Melissa looked frightened enough. Rowena decided not to add that if Stephen’s temperature went too low, his heart rate would drop, he could slip into a coma, and he might even die. ‘I think in future it might be a good idea to decide to have a few drinks or to have a night-time stroll round the lake—not both.’

‘We never meant this to happen. We were just having a laugh, enjoying the stars and that. He slipped on the rocks and fell in,’ Melissa said, her voice shaky. ‘I thought he was messing about at first. You know what blokes are like.’

The blankets arrived at the same time that Luke emerged from the lake, supporting Stephen and half dragging him.

Luke nodded approval at the blankets and towels. ‘Quick thinking. We need to get him out of this wet stuff and dry him, and get him back to the refugio.’

‘You’re wet as well,’ Rowena pointed out as she helped Luke strip the wet clothing from the groggy man and blot the water from his body with towels.

‘I’m a doctor and I’m used to the climate.’

‘Don’t be so ridiculous. If you stay out here in wet clothes, you’ll develop hypothermia as well! We need the trek medical officer at peak fitness,’ Rowena snapped.

‘I’ll change when we get in,’ Luke said.

She didn’t bother arguing, simply helped him wrap Stephen in the blankets and supported him on the way back to the refugio. The young man was too cold and disorientated to talk to them—he simply accepted their help with mumbled thanks and stumbled along between them.

‘Shall I get him a hot drink?’ Melissa asked.

‘No, if you try to warm him up too quickly you could burn him,’ Rowena answered. ‘Where’s your medical kit, Luke?’

‘In the refugio. It’s safer there than in my tent.’

Stephen’s girlfriend clearly needed something to do to make her feel as if she was doing something to help. ‘Melissa, can you run ahead and get the kit? And have you got a room or were you sleeping in tents?’

‘I’ve got a room,’ she said.

‘Good. We’ll need it for him tonight,’ Rowena said.

‘I’ll get the stuff,’ Melissa said.

When they got to the refugio, Melissa was waiting with the medical kit.

‘Got an ear thermometer in there?’ Rowena asked.

Luke nodded. ‘Stephen, I’m just going to put this in your ear and take your temperature, OK?’ he asked. The young man nodded. ‘Thirty-three degrees.’

Low, but manageable, Rowena thought. So they wouldn’t need to call out the air ambulance. Yet.

‘That’s good. You’ve got mild hypothermia, Stephen, so we’ll be able to help you right here, with something called passive rewarming. That means we’ll wrap you in warm blankets to reduce the amount of heat your body’s losing to the air.’ Luke gave Melissa a tight smile. ‘Don’t look so scared. He should warm up again in three to four hours.’

‘We need to avoid afterdrop, so we’ll keep his arms and legs uncovered, but we’ll cover his head and neck,’ Rowena added quietly. Because the body’s extremities cooled faster than the torso, if they warmed his arms and legs, the colder blood in Stephen’s limbs would re-enter his circulation and make his hypothermia worse. Heat was lost more quickly from the head, so keeping Stephen’s head covered would help.

Luke’s eyes narrowed. ‘You know about hypothermia?’

Oh, no. She’d been bandying technical terms about without thinking. It must be obvious to him that she was a medic. ‘I’ve done some first aid,’ she admitted. It just happened to be part of her job as an emergency department registrar. Though he didn’t need to know that much detail.

‘Do I get him a drink now?’ Melissa asked.

‘Not until he stops shivering,’ Luke said. ‘But shivering’s a good sign. It means your body’s warming up again,’ he added to Stephen.

‘When you get too cold, your body loses the shiver reflex,’ Rowena explained.

‘Right,’ Melissa said, biting her lip. ‘So he’s going to be OK?’

‘We’ll keep an eye on him but, yes, he should be fine,’ Luke reassured her.

‘Go and get changed,’ Rowena told him. ‘I can cope here for a few minutes.’

Again, Luke gave her that assessing stare, but he nodded and left. When he returned, he was wearing jeans—old, faded, but snug enough to make Rowena feel a surge of lust—and a black fleece.

‘Should I get you a warm drink?’ Melissa asked.

‘That’d be kind. Yes, please,’ Rowena said, before Luke could say anything. When the young woman had left the room, she glanced at Stephen. He looked drowsy; the chances were he wasn’t going to pay that much attention to what she was saying. She added quietly to Luke, ‘She needs something to do—something to make her feel as if she’s helping. She’s feeling guilty about what’s happened.’

His eyes were hard. ‘So she damned well should. Of all the stupid things—drinking and then going near the edge of the lake! It’d be bad enough on a warm night in a hot country, but to do it here, on the edge of a glacial lake in the middle of winter…’

‘Hey. She’s young, she’s frightened. She knows she’s done wrong, and if you shout at her you’re likely to make that whole bunch aggressive towards you.’ Rowena had seen it happen before too many times on a Saturday night—a lot of the Saturday night emergency cases could be traced back to the effects of alcohol. The ones who came in with the emergency case had usually been drinking, too, and from her first weekend in the ED Rowena had been taught to defuse the situation, keep it light and make sure any aggression didn’t spiral out of control. ‘Keep it calm.’

‘But it was such a stupid—’

‘I know. She knows. They all know. Trust me, you don’t need to give them a lecture.’

Melissa came in and overheard Rowena’s last words. ‘Yeah. She’s already done it for you—in a nice way. I’m sorry. We all are,’ she said. She took Stephen’s hand. ‘Steve’s kid brother died from leukaemia,’ she said quietly.

Stephen opened his eyes. ‘Being here—we’re trying to do something to help, so it doesn’t happen to someone else,’ he mumbled. ‘Sorry I caused all this trouble.’

‘It wasn’t your fault,’ Melissa defended him. She turned back to face Luke and Rowena. ‘Steve was feeling a bit raw tonight, so we thought we’d cheer him up. We didn’t realise how strong those pisco sours were—or how near the edge of the lake we were. It won’t happen again.’

Rowena saw a muscle tighten in Luke’s face. He was clearly reining in his temper—but why? Had he seen someone die in the glacial waters around here? Or was it the story of Steve’s brother that had upset him? Had Luke lost a younger brother or sister?

It’s nothing to do with you, she reminded herself. Back off. And he hasn’t told you of his own free will, so prying is just going to hurt him.

In the end, Luke shrugged. ‘It’s getting late. You’d better get some sleep.’

‘I’d rather stay.’

‘It’s going to take a while until Steve’s warmed up again,’ Luke said shortly. ‘You’d be better off getting some rest. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.’

‘But—’ Melissa began.

‘Don’t worry, we’re going to keep checking his temperature until it’s back up to normal,’ Luke said.

‘We’ll call you if there’s anything we need,’ Rowena promised, seeing that the young woman was near to tears. ‘He’s going to be fine.’ When Melissa left, she glanced at Stephen, who’d dropped back into a doze, and said, ‘You didn’t need to be quite that harsh with her.’

Luke’s face said it all for him. Back off. Now.

She changed tack. ‘I don’t suppose there’s any chance of warmed, humidified oxygen?’ They’d need it if Stephen started to deteriorate, and she’d be happier if she knew it was nearby.

‘Put it this way, where we’re going tomorrow, the only contact we’ll have with the outside world is by radio,’ Luke said dryly. ‘We’re a long way from a state-of-the-art medical facility.’

‘Just wondered.’

‘If I think he’s deteriorating, I’ll call the air ambulance.’

Still that tightness in his voice. Something had clearly upset him, but she could tell that he wasn’t going to talk to her about it. She sat in silence with him, writing down sets of observations every fifteen minutes.

The next thing she knew, Luke was shaking her awake.

‘Huh?’ Then years of practice from her time as a junior doctor came to the fore, and she was awake instantly. ‘Sorry. I meant to stay awake, help you.’

‘No pasa nada. If you’re not used to being outdoors all day, the fresh air tends to make you sleep well at night.’

She flushed. ‘Even so. How’s Steve?’

‘His temperature’s back to normal.’

She glanced at her watch. As she’d expected, it had taken three hours. ‘That’s good.’

‘We’ll hand him over to Melissa now.’ He shepherded her out of the room and found Melissa, who was hunched over a half-empty mug of tepid coffee.

Melissa looked worried, as if she wanted to know what was going on but was scared Luke would bite her head off if she asked.

Luke obviously saw it, too, because his tone was gentler this time. ‘I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. I guess being drenched in ice-cold water doesn’t do much for my manners.’

She smiled awkwardly. ‘Sorry.’

Luke put her in the picture quickly. ‘If you’re at all worried during the night—and I mean if anything doesn’t seem quite right to you—then I want you to call me. It’s unlikely he’ll develop any complications but if he does, the earlier we know about it the better chance we have of helping him.’

‘I promise,’ Melissa said solemnly. ‘And thank you. I know what happened was our fault, and we didn’t deserve…’ Her voice tailed away.

‘Hey.’ Luke squeezed her shoulder. ‘I was young once. I’ve got drunk and done stupid things. Though I drew the line at swimming in a glacial lake in the middle of winter.’

‘Well. Thank you anyway,’ she said, smiling through the threatening tears.

‘I’ll walk you to your tent,’ Luke said to Rowena.

She was perfectly capable of finding her own way back, but she found herself nodding. ‘Thanks.’

He waited until they were out of the refugio before asking, ‘So how come someone who’s “done some first aid” knows rather more than the average person about treating hypothermia? Are you on a mountain rescue team somewhere?’

‘No. I…’ She sighed. ‘OK. I’m a qualified doctor, too.’

‘How come the organising team didn’t know that?’

‘Because I don’t want to be responsible for other people. I’m here to walk, raise money.’

‘Mmm-hmm. And that’s why you waded right in just now.’

‘You were the one in the water,’ she pointed out.

‘Don’t split hairs.’ He gave her a sidelong look. ‘That’s the thing about being a doctor. You never quite switch off, do you?’

‘I suppose not,’ she admitted.

They walked in silence to her tent—a silence which grew tenser by the second. Rowena was beginning to find it hard to breathe. All she could think of was how it would feel to have his mouth covering hers. Hell. This was the last thing she needed. She dragged in a breath. ‘Thanks for walking me back.’

‘Least I could do.’

She hadn’t intended to meet his eyes. By starlight, they were very dark and very intense. And his mouth wasn’t that far from hers. She saw the instant he realised it, too, and she moved away before he could make the thought reality. ‘See you tomorrow,’ she said, knowing she was being a coward, and ducked into the safety of her tent.

CHAPTER THREE

ROWENA was a doctor, just like he was. So why hadn’t she said anything before? She’d claimed that she didn’t want to be responsible for others, but he didn’t believe that. When you were a doctor, being responsible for others was part of the territory. And hadn’t she stepped in to help when she’d been needed?

Maybe she was shy. He’d noticed that she either chatted to Carly or stayed on the sidelines of the group, not saying much. He didn’t think she wasn’t being snobby or standoffish—it was almost as if she didn’t know how to mix in, had never been taught how to be part of a group.

Not that it was any of his business. He should just follow her lead and back off.

Except he was sure she felt the same.

And he couldn’t back off. Something drew him to her. The same something that gave him the kind of dreams he really didn’t want to wake from. Maybe, Luke thought the next morning, as he gulped a cup of viciously strong coffee in a vain attempt to clear his head, maybe he just needed to get it out of his system. And hers.

Maybe it would be good for both of them. No strings attached, no promises, no broken hearts. She’d lost someone close, too, so maybe this was a way of helping them both heal. Let the barriers down, let the pain out, let themselves move on instead of being stuck in regret and mourning and loss.

Maybe.

Stephen was up and about at breakfast and seemed none the worse for his adventure the night before. Rowena smiled at him and Melissa, gulped her coffee and disappeared before anyone in that little group could hail her as a hero. She hadn’t done that much after all.

When they started the next part of the hike, the forest was cool and damp, and Rowena was glad of her waterproof jacket. The scramble up to the top was easy—but the view of the lake and the glacier took Rowena’s breath away. She’d expected the glacier to be white or grey, but it shimmered in different shades of blue, huge vertical waves and peaks of frozen ice, as if a choppy sea had been frozen in mid-wave. The lake itself was grey, which she’d read was due to the mineral content of the water. Obviously the glacier was named after the lake.

She could hear a rumbling, crashing noise in the distance. She couldn’t place it at first, and then she realised that small bergs were ‘calving’ from the Grey Glacier and falling into the lake. The wind was driving the smaller bergs down to the shoreline. The smallest lumps of ice were white, but the larger pieces were bright blue, like the glacier.

‘It’s stunning,’ she breathed.

‘The southern part of the Patagonian Ice Field,’ Luke said, his voice filled with pride. ‘It’s the largest ice field in the world.’