When she’d finished the presentation, she sat down, her legs like jelly. Her heart was pounding, her head buzzing, an extreme high enveloping her. She hadn’t let fear rule her, the fear she wasn’t good enough, as it had so many times in her life, and it felt good. Molto bene. As if she’d begun to slay her demons.
Nate said nothing until their meetings concluded and they rode the glass elevator skyward to their suite.
“Whose idea was it for you to present?”
“Mingmei suggested I do it.” She threw him a sideways look. “Is it okay that I did?”
He nodded. “You did a great job.”
She exhaled. “I was worried you’d be angry.”
“If you’d gone up there and presented the financial results for the year I would have been, yes. But you presented material you knew.” He rested an appraising gaze on her. “I’m thinking of offering you a dual role when we get back to New York. Part of the time as my protégée and part of the time on the global marketing team. If you want to go in that direction.”
“Sì.” She gave a sharp nod of her head. “I do. Mille grazie. That means so much to me, Nate.”
His mouth quirked. “See what you think when you meet my director of marketing. She’s a fire-breathing dragon. But the best in the business.”
They joined Mingmei for dinner in the rooftop restaurant with its spectacular view of the city. Watching Nate’s former lover more closely, she determined Susana had been right. Mingmei’s repartee with Nate was utterly professional, but every once in a while Mina caught a glimpse of something in the other woman’s eyes. A wistfulness? An admiration that extended to the man beneath the title.
“Mingmei is lovely,” she said as they walked into their suite.
Nate flicked a glance at her. “You should know we were once lovers. In case you hear talk.”
She shrugged off her wrap. “Susana told me. I think she thought it was better I knew.”
“It was three years ago, before she came to work for me. There is nothing between us now.”
On his part. She pressed her lips shut, her gaze dropping away from his. “You don’t have to explain your personal life to me.”
With that, she took her irrational jealousy off to the bathroom to wash up before bed. Nate was still working when she wished him good-night, offering an absent-minded one in return. Determined to be asleep by the time he joined her, she quickly swept the rose petals out of the bed and into the trash can and curled up with a book to put herself to sleep. An hour and a half after she’d gone to bed, she was still awake, staring at the ceiling, when Nate came in.
She averted her gaze as he stripped, hung up his suit and got into bed.
“Can’t sleep?”
“No.”
“Want me to tell you a bedtime story?”
“No.”
Laughter rumbled from his throat. “Likely a good thing. The only ones I can think of would be strictly X-rated.”
“Nate!”
“Go to sleep, Mina.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. He turned on his side and all was quiet. The clocked ticked loudly on the mantelpiece over the fireplace. Dannazione, but she was restless. Rolling on her side she hugged her pillow. It was too soft—she hated soft pillows. Reaching for the other pillow she’d dropped on the floor, she tried that one out. It was too hard.
A sigh left her throat.
“Good God.” Nate reached over and flicked on the light. Which put his amazing, sculpted chest on display. She’d never seen anything like it, muscle and sinew converging in a mouthwatering work of art.
His gaze raked over her face. Dropped lower to the lace nightie Susana had insisted she buy for her honeymoon. The look on his face sent all the blood in her body rushing to her twin heated cheeks.
“I don’t sleep much,” he said grimly, returning his gaze to her face, “but I do need a few hours. So let me assure you I am not crossing the center line tonight. Despite that enticing scrap of lace you’re wearing. Despite the fact that it has Take me written all over it and it’s not helping by adding to my list of fantasies.”
Her gaze tangled with his. His eyes were so dark she could walk right into them and lose herself completely. It was tempting, so tempting, to do so. To throw common sense out the window.
“Susana made me buy it,” she whispered. “Not my idea.”
His laser-like stare said that fact was inconsequential.
She turned her back on him, clutching the hard pillow to her, her heart slamming in her chest. She wanted so badly to know what those fantasies were. Wanted his beautiful hands on her as he acted them out. Wanted to feel as alive as he’d made her feel that night in his arms in Capri. To know for once in her lonely life what it was like to be the center of someone’s orbit—a man like Nate’s orbit. To experience that heady, inescapable passion...
But she wasn’t going to be the one to cross the line, either. She had far too much at stake.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE WEEK IN Hong Kong flew by at a blindingly fast pace. They had an initial meeting with Sheng Zhu the following day in which the celebrity chef outlined his vision for a new avant-garde restaurant at the Grand that, he promised, would be the talk of the city.
Mina got a chance to see the razor-sharp, ruthless side of her new boss as Nate systematically picked Sheng Zhu’s proposal apart and pressed for additional exclusivity. She had no doubt he’d walk away from the partnership if it wasn’t tailored to his liking, and apparently neither did Sheng Zhu, who promised to return the morning they were to fly out with an updated proposal.
She spent the rest of the week learning the operations of the hotel alongside Nate and Mingmei. By the end of the week her head was so crammed full of information she had almost been able to forget about her and Nate’s sleeping arrangements.
Almost. Not that Nate slept. He worked more than any human being she’d ever encountered, coming to bed long after she’d fallen asleep and rising before she did. She had no idea how he functioned with such little rest, but it did the trick, minimizing the contact between them.
Tonight, however, their last night in Hong Kong, was going to be a challenge. Mingmei had prepared a special honeymoon dinner for them in their suite. Unless they wanted to look ungrateful they were going to have to go through the motions.
She eyed the suite warily as she and Nate returned from their meetings. The dining table near the windows with the spectacular view of the harbor had been set for two, tall, tapered candles flickering in the center of it, champagne cooling in an ice bucket. The lighting had been muted, a classic piece by Ella Fitzgerald playing in the background, a tray of oysters at the ready.
Her mouth went dry. Ignoring her attraction to Nate was one thing in a room full of people. Another entirely in the middle of a seduction scene.
A sparkle caught her eye. Moving further into the salon she found an evening gown draped over a chair, a delicate pair of glittering stiletto heels beside it and a card that said “Wear me” propped up beside the dress.
Nate strolled over to pick up the embossed envelope that sat beside it.
Sliding the card out, he read its contents. “‘A 2002 Piper-Heidsieck is on its way. Enjoy the music and some dancing before your six-course dinner featuring some of Hong Kong’s great delicacies.’”
Nate raised an eyebrow at Mina’s expression.
“Afraid I’ll step on your toes? I happen to be a very good dancer.”
He knew exactly what it was she was afraid of and it wasn’t the dancing! She tossed her hair over her shoulder in what she hoped was a nonchalant gesture. “I am sure you are very smooth. Part of your lady-killer image.”
An openly amused look crossed his face. “Lady-killer? Where did you get that from? An old movie?”
She ignored him and picked up the dress. The Asian-inspired design was done in a deep buttercream color with the most exquisite beadwork and embroidery she’d ever seen.
“Go put it on before the champagne comes,” said Nate.
She did, if only to distract herself. The dress might have encompassed plenty of material, but it was snug, molded to her body in a perfect fit that emphasized all her curves. The only nod toward daring was the low back that left much of her skin bare.
That Mingmei clearly had a perfect eye for style didn’t surprise her in the least. Slipping on the sparkly stilettos, which fit perfectly, she returned to the salon. Nate had taken his jacket off, elegant and minimalistic in a silver-gray shirt and black trousers that molded his muscular body to perfection. His inescapable virility in the suddenly very small space rolled over her in a heady wave of awareness.
His gaze ate her up in a frank appraisal that made her lungs tight. “I should have left my jacket and tie on. In the face of such perfection...”
The breath whished from her lungs. “You’re far more relaxed when you’re not in a suit and tie.”
“I’m not sure relaxed is the state of mind I should be aiming for right now.”
Her stomach plummeted. “This...talk,” she pointed out weakly, “is not helping the situation.”
His mouth curved. “I think being self-aware is not a bad thing at the moment.”
A discreet cough alerted her to the fact that they were not alone. Turning, she found a black-coated waiter at her elbow, holding a white cloth–wrapped champagne bottle and glasses. Apparently they had their own personal waiter for the evening, a fact that eased her nerves considerably. A chaperone was exactly what she and Nate needed.
The waiter filled their glasses, returned the bottle to the ice bucket and stepped back to stand unobtrusively by the door. Nate set a hand to the small of her back and guided her out onto the terrace with its spectacular views of Victoria Harbor, Hong Kong Island and Kowloon. The press of his strong fingers against the bare skin of her back sent a tremor reverberating through her.
Dannazione. She needed to get a handle on herself.
She focused on the view in front of her. Found herself transfixed by the light exploding over the city. Laser beams and searchlights in a rainbow of hues shot off the tops of the buildings, casting rays of light into the inky sky and harbor. Fireworks dazzled the eye, timed to music she could just make out from this distance. It was a choreographed spectacle the likes of which she’d never seen.
“Fantastico,” she breathed. “What’s the occasion?”
“It’s called the Symphony of Lights. It happens every night. It’s meant to celebrate the energy and diversity of Hong Kong.”
Mina watched, transfixed. Thought about how spectacular, how foreign, it was. She might have been a whole planet away from her home rather than just on another continent.
It struck her then how much her life had changed in two weeks. How exhilarating, terrifying and irrevocable those changes were.
“That’s a contemplative look.” Nate rested his elbows on the railing and looked over at her.
“This,” she said, waving her hand at the view, “feels bittersweet. I wanted it so badly—my freedom. The chance to make my mark. But I also feel...torn. Homesick.” She sighed. “How silly is that? For a mother who barely tolerates me...a life that made me miserable.”
“It’s what you know,” he said quietly. “Walking into the unknown, even though you know it’s the right path, is scary. Sometimes you want to retreat. To stay with the known even though it makes you unhappy.”
“Did you feel like that once?”
“More than once.” His mouth curved. “I’ve taken a lot of risks in my life. You don’t achieve success without them. But that doesn’t mean I’ve never been afraid—afraid of making the wrong call, afraid the magic will disappear someday just like it appeared. It’s human to be afraid. It’s what you do with the fear that defines a person.”
She found that thought vastly comforting. That Nate, as successful as he was, had once not been so completely sure of himself.
She took a sip of her champagne. Watched another round of fireworks light up the sky. “I used to lie in bed at school at night after my father died, so scared of the future, of what would happen to me. I’d wonder why God had taken him and not my mother. I used to secretly wish that he had, then be terrified he’d punish me for thinking such awful thoughts.”
“I would say that’s understandable thinking coming from an eight-year-old.”
“Perhaps.” She lifted a shoulder. “To me they seemed wicked and irredeemable thoughts. So I made up a pretend family instead to keep me company. I had five brothers and sisters so I’d never be lonely, a dog named Gigi, who slept on the end of my bed, and parents who came to get me for every holiday.”
He frowned. “Your mother left you alone for some of them?”
“Often. After I met my friend Celia, I would spend the holidays with her family.”
He was silent for a long moment. “You’ll have a family of your own someday,” he said finally.
Would she? Did she crave the fantasy more than the reality? She had so much she wanted to accomplish before then, most of all finding out who she really was. What she wanted.
“Who was your mentor?” she asked Nate. “The one you spoke of?”
“My grandfather, Giovanni. He put me through university, took me in to work at Di Sione Shipping with him.”
“Is this the same grandfather who wants the ring?”
“Yes.”
“You said before your father wasn’t a part of your life. How did you come to know your grandfather?”
“My father died in a car accident when I was ten. My relationship with Giovanni began in my late teens when he developed leukemia and needed a bone marrow transplant. None of my half siblings were a match, so my eldest brother, Alex, sought me out to see if I was. I was a match and I did the transplant. Our relationship developed from there.”
Wow. “That must have been an incredibly emotional introduction to each other.”
“It was...intense.”
“You said you weren’t close to your brothers and sisters?”
He took a sip of his champagne. Rested his glass on the railing, a distant look in his eyes. “There is too much history between us to make that possible.”
“How so?”
“A lot of complicated relationships with many layers. Sometimes it’s simply easier to leave the past in the past. To not reopen old wounds.”
She recalled the lack of a personal background in his media profiles. It had not been an accident. He was protecting a past he had distanced himself from.
What had driven his father to abandon him? What had happened to keep him and his siblings from becoming close after his father’s death when one would think it would have been the ultimate bonding experience to give his grandfather his life back?
It was an incredibly enticing train of thought to want to pursue, but she left it at that because the walls around him as he stared out into the night said that particular conversation was over.
“Giovanni is very lucky to have had you.”
The lazy, seductive bars of a Duke Ellington tune filled the silence that followed. “I think it’s the other way around,” he said finally. “But I won’t have him for much longer. His leukemia is back and this time it will kill him.”
Her stomach dropped. That was why his grandfather wanted the ring. To reclaim a piece of his past before it was all lost to him.
“Nate—” She put a hand on his arm. “Mi dispiace. I’m so sorry.”
His expression hardened. “It’s fine. I’m lucky to have had him as long as I have.”
Except it wasn’t fine. She could see just how unfine it was in the glitter of emotion that darkened his eyes. In the clench of his jaw. The way his gaze refused to meet hers. He was suffering but you would never have known it. Taking a precious memory back to his mentor, who had perhaps been the father figure he’d never known, only to watch him die.
“It’s okay,” she said quietly, “for it not to be fine.”
He spared her a glance. “What else can it be? He’s dying and there’s nothing I nor anyone can do to prevent it.”
“Talking about it might help.”
“I’ve come to terms with it.” Storm clouds gathered in his eyes. “Leave it alone, Mina.”
She did. The pieces of her enigmatic husband starting to fall into place, she finished her champagne in silence. So much loss, so much pain, and no way to express it because he considered himself the ultimate gladiator. He would never show weakness.
A Frank Sinatra tune she loved drifted out to them on the night air. Nate put his glass down and held out his hand. “So we can say we danced at least one song after all the trouble Mingmei went through.”
She thought maybe that was a bad idea. The champagne was starting to hit her bloodstream, infusing her with that languorous, dangerous desire to play with fire. Not a good idea when keeping things on a business level between her and Nate seemed so very important.
He pulled her close. Close enough that she felt his hard thighs brushing against hers, the intoxicating, spicy smell of him filling her senses. His big hand was laced through hers, while the other rested lightly on her waist as he guided her expertly through the steps.
He hadn’t been lying about being a good dancer. He was rather dreamy, in fact. She’d danced with a great deal of men at all the social events she’d endured, but somehow dancing under the stars with Nate with only Sinatra to accompany them was an experience of an entirely different realm.
He was so strong, so heart-poundingly virile, it was impossible not to think how easily he could command her if he wanted to. To do all sorts of unthinkable things. Her thoughts should have put her guard up. Instead, she was afraid of what he might never do to her. What might never happen between them.
“She’s in love with you, you know.”
“Who?”
“Mingmei. She didn’t say it, but I can see it.”
An impassive expression claimed his face. “We ended things on good terms. Mingmei knew the deal with me.”
The question that had been burning a hole in her head all week tumbled from her lips. “Why? Why break things off with her? Mingmei is stunning, intelligent, extroverted, entertaining... How could she possibly be lacking in any department?”
“It isn’t about how amazing a woman is or isn’t. I’m not interested in a permanent relationship with anyone.”
“Don’t you ever get lonely?”
His lips curved in a cynical twist. “I don’t mean sex,” she qualified, blushing. “I mean for true companionship.”
“And how would you define true companionship sweet, innocent Mina?” He swung her into a tight circle, his gaze holding hers. “Having sleepovers with the women I date so I can spill my deepest, darkest secrets to them? Telling her how I feel over breakfast so I can start the day a whole man?”
Her chin lifted. “I mean someone who’s there at the end of the day to confide in, whether you’ve had the best day or the worst. Someone who cares what your day is like. Who nurtures the emotional side of you.”
“I don’t have an emotional side.”
Not one he would admit. Pretending he didn’t care was his self-defense mechanism as much as hers had been withdrawing into herself for so many years. Because she had seen him care. Everything he had done for her had been about caring for her welfare. It was more than just paying it forward.
“Everyone needs human connection, Nate. I told myself I didn’t need it. I spent my whole life without it, but nothing can replace what the unconditional love of someone gives us. We need emotional connection to survive.”
“Some of us do. And some of us exist better as solitary beings.” His mouth curled. “Get married and have your white picket family, Mina. All the power to you. But that’s not me.”
“Who says I want to settle down now? I want my freedom now that I have it. The rest can come later.”
“You think you want your freedom. Soon you’ll want more. All women have the nesting gene.”
His condescending attitude irked her. “I guess that’s right if you say so.”
His gaze sharpened. “Picking a fight, Mina? That’s a new one.”
“Maybe I’m tired of being told what I want. There’s a whole world out there for me to experience, Nate. Not just business. I plan on doing so.”
His steps slowed as another, lazier, Sinatra tune followed the last. “I’m all for seizing the moment,” he murmured idly. But the gaze he had trained on her was anything but. “So what will you do when our year is up, then? Take a series of lovers to satisfy your need for human connection? Keep your affairs short and sweet so no one gets too attached?”
“You’re playing with me now.”
“I’m curious. You forget I know you’re an innocent, Mina. How does that factor into all this? Do you plan to simply give your virginity away to the first man who does it for you?”
Her lashes lowered. If that were the case, she’d be giving it to him.
“My virginity is a matter of circumstance. A bargaining tool my mother used to sell me. I refuse to treat it as such. When I decide to give it to a man it will be because I made a conscious decision to do so without overcomplicating things.”
“I see.” He nodded thoughtfully. “That’s quite a thing to lay at a man’s doorstep. What happens if he falls for you? You simply kick him out the door and say you’re not ready?”
She frowned. “Who says it would be me kicking him out?”
“Because you are devastatingly, undeniably desirable, Mina. With just the right air of vulnerability to have men falling over themselves to claim you if you offer them your innocence. They won’t stand a chance.”
Her gaze locked with his for a long, heated moment. It seemed ridiculous to be speaking of other lovers when the only man’s hands she wanted on her were Nate’s. When that’s all she’d wanted ever since he’d unleashed that devastating kiss on her.
“Not happening, Mina.” His husky drawl slid over her sensitized flesh like a slow, potent caress. “We have a very functional partnership going on here.”
She knew it. He knew it. But she couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away from his. “I know,” she agreed. “I know it’s insanity, but I—I can’t seem to stop thinking about what happened between us. About how alive...how lost I felt.”
“Try harder,” he bit out. “This, we, cannot happen. I don’t mix business with pleasure.”
“You’re the one who said we hardly have a straightforward business relationship. I believe you called it...unique.”
“Unique enough,” he growled. The storm in his eyes intensified. “You are vulnerable, Mina. You are looking at me like I’m some knight who’s come to your rescue when I am anything but. You have no idea what you are throwing out there right now.”
She swallowed hard. “I am vulnerable right now but I want to feel vulnerable. I want to want what I want. I want to figure out who I am. And I am under no illusions as to what this would be between us. I’ve just said I’m not looking for a commitment. Not now. Not for a long while.”
He was silent, so heart-stoppingly silent she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. “Just to be clear,” he rasped finally, “you’re telling me you want us to go to bed together. And to hell with the consequences?”
She bit the inside of her mouth. Hard. “You keep baiting me, Nate. You won’t leave it alone, either. What do you want?”
* * *
She had a point, Nate thought blackly. What did he want? Because he couldn’t seem to leave this thing with Mina alone. Not when she felt this good in his arms. When the floral, delicate smell of her, the soft curves that tempted him beyond reason, were his for the taking.
He had gone on the offensive to try and distract her when she’d started prying into the pieces of his life he would never expose. In doing so, he’d started something he couldn’t finish. Definitely couldn’t finish. Proving that seemed to be the way to go.
He let go of her hand. Reached up to trace a line down the silky-soft skin of her cheek to her mouth, his thumb dragging across the plump skin of her lower lip. “What you should be afraid of,” he drawled, “is me taking you up on your offer, Mina, because even I have my limits and I’m fast approaching them, common sense be damned.”